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It was a tough day for Denki.
English Class (his favorite class) went fine, and so did Heroics Class with Aizawa-sensei (up until the end, at least). But the rest of the day? Awful. The words on the board swam back and forth, never staying put long enough for Denki to concentrate before the teachers moved along, erasing their notes or writing even more. That wasn’t even mentioning math. Denki wasn’t so bad at it before, back in middle school. But when simple multiplication and division turned into Algebra and Trigonometry, he couldn’t even hope to catch up.
Denki was super grateful that Yaomomo was willing to put up with him on the regular, helping him with studying. He always felt a little bad, because helping him took time out of her schedule where she could be doing other things. Instead, she was tutoring his dumb ass. Today, though, Yaomomo didn’t look too good. She was looking a little pale, and if the way her smile sharpened when another student came by this morning to try and hit on the other girls, Denki had a pretty good idea of what was going on. And he definitely didn’t wanna make anything worse for her.
Because of that, because he didn’t want to bother Yaomomo and make things worse for her, he stayed away from her during homeroom even though she had sent him several questioning looks, as if to ask “Why haven’t you come over?” Instead, he read his current English novel, Gone With The Wind, and ignored all the looks he got for it. So, when they had a pop quiz in Ecto-sensei’s class before lunch a few hours later, Denki bombed it. He didn’t even need to see the slightly saddened gaze of their mathematics sensei to know that Denki completely and utterly failed it. Naturally, he hid it, covering his shame with laughter and a care-free smile. His friends bought it, well, most of them did; Eiji was always super perceptive when it came to the squad’s feelings and moods, so Denki thinks that Eiji might have known what was up. Mina was there to distract him, so Eiji never followed up with Denki, fortunately (or unfortunately, Denki wasn’t too sure yet).
Of course, if that wasn’t bad enough, Aizawa-sensei had asked him to stay behind after Hero Ethics and Law class for a moment. Denki waved his friends off with a “I’ll be out in a minute, I’m sure it’s nothing too bad!” Katsuki scoffed and left for the locker rooms, with Hanta, Eiji, and Mina soon following after him, sending curious and concerned glances his way. Denki still waved them off, smiling widely all the while. Alone in the room besides Aizawa-sensen, Denki made his way to the front, dragging his feet a little. Aizawa-sensei didn’t say anything, merely looking at Denki with a gleam in his eyes Denki couldn’t break apart.
When Denki stopped in front of Aizawa-sensei’s desk, Aizawa-sensei didn’t say anything, probably waiting for Denki to look up. When Denki did, he saw that Aizawa-sensei was looking at him with a steady gaze, his face neutral. It gave Denki just as much comfort as it caused him anxiety.
“Kaminari,” Aizawa-sensei said, and Denki felt his stomach drop. That was the voice that Aizawa-sensei had used the last time he was failing.
“...I’m failing, aren’t I?” Denki asked, and Aizawa-sensei nodded. Denki’s shoulders drooped, and his gaze fell to the floor.
“I know you’re getting help from Yaoyorozu and some of the other teachers, but it might be time for you to seek further help.” Aizawa-sensei says. Denki nodded, dully. Denki hears Aizawa-sensei stand up from his desk, and a warm hand cups his shoulder.
“It’s okay to get help, Kaminari,” his sensei said, and Kaminari nodded again. The Underground Hero stayed like that for a moment longer, as if waiting for Denki to say something else. But Denki remained silent. What else did he have to say to his sensei? What else could he say?
Aizawa-sensei waited a few moments more before gently squeezing Denki’s shoulder. He retracted his hand and cracked his neck both ways.
“Let’s get going, you have P.E. next.”
“Yes, Sensei.”
0o0-0o0-0o0
That led Denki to where he was now.
The locker room off of Gym Delta. Specifically, he was in one of the multipurpose changing stalls, desperately trying to muffle the sound of his sobs. It was long after the rest of their class had left for the day. Denki told his squad that he was gonna go run for a bit more before taking a shower. In reality, he had maybe run another five to ten laps to try to burn off some of his anxious energy, and then had gone in when the rest of the guys had left the locker room.
Denki had chosen a stall tucked into the corner, one that you had to turn around a corner to find; U.A. was ridiculously big, and so were there locker rooms. Today, this greatly benefited Denki. Denki chose this one because he wanted to be alone. He didn’t want any of his squad or the rest of the 2-A fam to figure out that he was actually distraught right now. He hated upsetting anyone in the class. It was his job to make everyone laugh, not have them comfort him because he was an idiot.
Denki hiccuped another sob, curling further into his knees. God, if only he wasn’t so dumb , maybe he wouldn’t be failing. Maybe he wouldn’t have to ask his friends for help all the time. Maybe he would actually be able to read the goddamn board for once—
The doors to the locker room squeaked open, and Denki froze. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone in here right now. Well, that’s what the squeaking of the door was for, to let the people inside know that someone was coming in, because a surprise attack or a sneak attack could come from anyone and—
‘Focus, idiot!’ Denki thought furiously to himself. Now wasn’t the time to get distracted by why U.A.’s doors squeaked, or the number of reasons they did so on purpose—
Denki slapped his cheeks to derail his current train of thought.
‘Focus, focus, focus! There’s someone in here, someones’s gonna find me, someone will see that I’m like this, that I’m nothing more than a dumb crybaby who’s too stupid to understand basic concepts—’
Denki took in a shuddering breath, and then froze, realizing just how loud that breath was. If the person coming in here was anywhere near as smart as anyone in 2-A was, they would find him. Shame welled up inside Denki, and he ducked his head back into his knees, hands clenching his hair as his sobs grew harder and harder to hide. He couldn’t do anything right, he couldn’t even hold his breath right so that he could stay hidden. What good was he? Why was he still here at U.A.? Denki wasn’t smart enough for this school, no matter how many times his friends reassured him, no matter how many times he went in for after school help with his senseis and Yaomomo, he wasn’t good enough, he never would be, so what was the point of this at all—
“—oi, fucking breathe! ”
Large, warm hands grabbed his own, and his head was pulled out from his lap. Denki sucked in a staggering breath as he looked up through watery eyes to see who had found him. Narrowed ruby eyes stared down, and Denki choked as he sucked in a breath.
Katsuki had found him?
“K-Katsuki—” Denki tried to pull his hands away, to rub his eyes and put on a grin for one of his squad. “W-what’re you doing here, I thought you’d left—”
“Shut up Sparky,” Katsuki cut in, and Denki clamped his lips shut, biting his bottom lip sharply to help his focus, because right now, he needed to get out of this mess, and to make sure Kats didn’t say anything to the rest of the squad—
“Breathe , goddammit!” Katsuki yelled, and Denki breathed on command, choking again. A hand pounded his back as Denki coughed, trying to get the air in his lungs to work properly. Tears escaped his eyes again, because god , Denki was so fucking useless he couldn’t even breathe right —
“Who the fuck said you could say that about yourself, huh?” Katsuki demanded, bonking Denki’s head.
Denki started. Had he said that aloud? God, now he couldn’t even keep his mouth shut either, could he?
“Oi, fuckin’ cut this shit out,” Katsuki demanded, and Denki bit his lip again. They stayed there for a few moments, the quiet of the locker room magnifying Denki’s attempts to stop his crying. Oh, how Denki tried, he really did. But today was a shitty day, and the tears didn’t wanna stop, didn’t wanna let Denki collect himself together long enough to stop being a fool in front of Katsuki—
“Stop that,” Katsuki said, and the surprise of not hearing Katsuki swear paused Denki’s non-stop thought process long enough so that Denki could actually breathe. Denki looked back up at Katsuki (when had he looked down again?), who looked down at Denki. Denki’s vision was blurred by tears, but he could swear he’s never seen that look on Katsuki’s face before.
And just like that, the explosive blond clicks his tongue before sliding down the side of the wall, using the hand that was still grabbing on to Denki to pull the electric user towards him, tucking Denki into his side.
And…it’s so warm. Katsuki is so warm, and it feels so good, and it makes Denki feel like he’s not some sort of fuck up that can’t do anything right. Denki is just… feeling right now. Yeah, he stills feels like a fuckup and a dumbass, but it’s not so overwhelming that Denki can’t think or focus. Nestled into Katsuki’s side, Denki feels safe , like he matters to someone for once, and that…man, what a feeling that is.
Denki takes a deep breath in, smelling the scent of darkened caramel and sweat and musk.
‘He must’ve just come from working out, just now,’ Denki thought. ‘But why? Why come back here when Eiji took his stuff back? There’s no point in that, right? Am I overthinking things? Is something wrong? Did I do something wrong? Did—’
Katsuki’s fist knocked against his head gently.
“You’re overthinking things again,” Katsuki said, and Denki marveled again at Katsuki not cursing or using any insults. In fact, Katsuki hadn’t really done anything really mean or loud since he got here. He hadn’t even really hit Denki, either, just light taps compared to what Katsuki regularly did. What was happening? Was Denki awake right now, or was he just dreaming?
“For fuck’s sake,” Katsuki groaned, and Denki laughed wetly, imagining Katsuki rolling his eyes, exasperated and fondly annoyed in only the way the squad could make him feel.
“Shut up before you over-fry your circuits again,” Katsuki snapped, though not overly harshly. Denki blinked.
“Again…?” Denki asked, wondering what had happened.
“When I found you in here, you were starting to let out some serious volts, Sparky,” Katsuki said, and Denki’s eyes widened. His eyes shot down to Katsuki’s hands, which were noticeably pink. His breath hitched.
“Katsuki, shit, oh no, fuck, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you—” Denki couldn’t believe he’d fucked up again, especially with how nice Katsuki was being to him. Denki didn’t even deserve Katsuki’s kindness, not when he had hurt him, and with his own quirk, too. God, was Denki a kid? He couldn’t even control his own quirk when he was crying his brains out, was he really just that stupid—
Denki “oofed” as Katsuki knocked his forehead into Denki’s forehead.
“Oi, stop that shit,” Katsuki growled, and Denki bit his lip again. He was inches from Katsuki’s face, and Denki could see the different shades of red in his eyes. He blushed a bit and tried to back up, but Katsuki pulled Denki forward, a warm, calloused hand cupping the back of his neck to keep Denki in place. Denki’s eyes widened.
“Now, you’re going to shut up and let me speak, and you aren’t going to fuckin’ interrupt me, got it?” Katsuku demanded, and Denki nodded, well, as far as he could with Katsuki holding his neck in place.
“Fuckin’ good. Now, I don’t know where the fuck you got the idea that you were useless, or not good enough or whatever other shit that’s stuck up in that head of yours— don’t interrupt me, ” Katsuki snapped as Denki opened his mouth to speak.
“I don’t know where you got those damn ideas, but throw them the fuck out,” Katsuki continued. Struggling in school and not understanding shit doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of learning anything, it just means that the methods the teachers are using aren’t doin’ shit for you.” Denki blinked. Not working for him? But that didn’t make sense, everyone else—
“—’can learn just fine’?” Katsuki finished, and Denki nodded mutely. Katsuki rolled his eyes.
“That’s bullshit. People learn in different ways, and you shouldn’t be beating yourself up just ‘cause you don’t learn like everyone else in class does.” Katsuki narrowed his eyes at Denki.
“You think Deku learns the same way as the rest of the class?” Katsuki asked, and Denki balked. “He doesn’t. Shitty nerd’s mind’s going so fuckin’ fast all the goddamn time that he doesn’t always hear all the goddamn words the teach is saying. That’s why he takes his shitty notes.”
“But that’s Izu-bro!” Denki bursts out, ignoring Katsuki’s glare for interrupting him. “Izu-bro is super smart!”
“Shitty Deku flunked English the first year we took it ‘cause he couldn’t concentrate on the board long enough to focus on what was fuckin’ there.” Katsuki said, glaring at Denki. Denki quieted down.
“Ears has the lessons recorded for later because the rest of the class is too distracting for her to focus on the lesson in-person,” Katsuki continued. “You know Pinky can’t concentrate worth shit if she isn’t moving or tapping or something, so Sensei gave her one of those padded, bouncing chairs where she can bounce and let out enough energy to focus. Bird brain is asleep half the time ‘cause he and that damn shadow of his are nocturnal and so they get the recorded notes from Sensei at the end of the day, and half’n’half needs specialized contacts because his vision’s fucked in his left eye.”
Denki grew more and more incredulous as Katsuki listed off some of the smartest students in their class. It couldn’t be possible, because none of those students were dumb like Denki was—
Katsuki thumped Denki’s forehead again.
“You’re not fuckin dumb, you have ADHD and probably Dyslexia,” Katsuki said, and Denki’s world came to a hault. ADHD? Dyslexia? What were these? Were they actual things, or was Katsuki making stuff up to make Denki feel better?
“I’m not a damn liar,” Katsuki barked, and Denki realized that he was, once again, speaking out loud. Katsuki tsked again before sighing, running a hand through his hair.
“Listen, all this shit I said to you?” Katsuki asked. “There’s a reason that you’re struggling, and that’s fuckin’ okay. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it. “
“It’s okay to get help, Kaminari,” Aizawa-sensei’s earlier words rang through his head. Was that what sensei meant? Was Sensei trying to get Denki to reach out to him on his own terms?
“So dumb,” Denki murmured, and Katsuki clicked his tongue in annoyance.
“It’s not fucking dumb. You wouldn’t know it’s not okay ‘cause no one told you shit about jack shit. What isn’t okay is fucking crying alone in a stall where no one can be there for your ass.”
“It’s better for no one to see me like this,” Denki murmured, looking down. “I’m supposed to cheer everyone up, after all, make them happy, make them laugh. I can’t do that if I’m…”
“Crying your eyes out in a stall in the middle of the damn school?” Katsuki finished, sneering a little. Denki nodded, feeling the shame well within him.
“None of that shit,” Katsuki snapped. “You think the rest of those shitty nerds would be happy if they knew you were off by yourself, being upset and shit where they couldn’t support you?”
Denki didn’t respond. He knew his squad, and the rest of the 2-A fam, wouldn’t be happy to hear it. Hadn’t he said the same thing to them? That it was better to cry with friends instead of alone? What a hypocrite he was—
Thunk.
Denki’s forehead was starting to hurt a little.
“I swear if you start that goddamn self-deprecating shit one more time— ” Katsuki started, and Denki couldn’t help but laugh. It was wet, thick with mucus, and Denki was still crying. But it didn’t matter. Because even though he was still crying, still upset and not feeling the greatest—well, he had Katsuki with him, and Katsuki was pretty awesome.
“Of fucking course I am,” Katsuki muttered, and Denki looked up, eyes wide. Had he spoken out loud again?
“No, you’re just a predictable piece of shit,” Katsuki answered, but there wasn’t any bite in Katsuki’s voice.
Denki laughed again, leaning down so that he was leaning into Katsuki’s shoulder again. The angry blonde let him, removing his hand from Denki’s neck. Denki sighed, breathing in the smell of darkened caramel and musk and sweat again. Katsuki grumbled, but didn’t say anything as he held Denki a little tighter.
Well, if Katsuki wasn’t complaining, maybe Denki could stay here a little while longer?
0o0-0o0-0o0
Katsuki was returning from his extended workout. Even though the class period had ended, he decided to keep his workout going out on the track; his morning run had been ruined by the earlier thunderstorm, and since it wasn’t raining now, Katsuki had decided to get his daily jog in, even if it meant running laps on the track. Hobo-sensei didn’t seem to care, the man having wandered off after he had dismissed their class. So Katsuki ran for about another hour or two, not bothering to pay attention to the other nerds staying longer to run. He saw that Dunce Face had stayed for a bit, but he was looking a little off, and after a while he had walked off the track, waving to Katsuki with that dumbass smile of his. It looked off, and Katsuki hoped the idiot hadn’t gotten sick from overworking himself again.
It was two hours later when shit became more serious. Katsuki had finished his laps nearly two hours later and was doing his cool-down stretches when Sensei came up to him, an unusually serious expression on his face.
“Bakugou,” the man greeted shortly, “Have you seen Kaminari anywhere? He hasn’t reported back to the dorms yet.”
Katsuki narrowed his eyes.
“Dunce Face? He stayed here for a half hour or so before leaving.” Katsuki said, narrowing his eyes at Aizawa. “What’s going on?”
His sensei leveled a gaze at him, and Katsuki felt as if the man were assessing him, seeing if he was worthy of something.
“Kaminari,” the Underground Hero began, slowly, weighing his words, “found out today that he wasn’t doing well in class.”
Katsuki knew what that translated to: the idiot was failing again. Katsuki clicked his tongue, but didn’t say anything, knowing his teacher wasn’t done.
“Kaminari didn’t take it well.” Sensei continued. “He’s a good actor, and he can hide his emotions under a good facade. But not enough to fool me.”
The underlying request nearly made Katsuki scowl, but he didn’t. He knew Dunce Face had issues with his classes, half of their fuckin’ class did.
“Tch, I’ll go look for the dumbass,” Katsuki agreed, and Sensei nodded, beginning to turn around, probably to head back to the dorms. But before he left, he paused, turning around to face Katsuki again. Katsuki raised an eyebrow.
“If you should find him,” Hobo-sensei said, with the same measured weight as before. “Impress upon him that all he needs to do is ask for help.” Katsuki nodded sharply, and Sensei turned back around, completely walking away this time.
Katsuki sighed to himself, scratching his head. He had a Dunce Face to go find.
0o0-0o0-0o0
Of all the places Katsuki expected to find the idiot, it certainly wasn’t in the locker room off of Gym Delta.
Katsuki quietly cursed to himself as he opened the doors and they squeaked loudly, announcing his presence. He understood why they squeaked, but it didn’t make it any less annoying that they did, especially when Katsuki was trying to be quiet.
He looked around the open area of the locker room, checking to see if the other blond had left any of his items behind. He didn’t, but Katsuki wasn’t too surprised by that; for all that he may be a dumbass, Denki didn’t leave his shit around. He was decently responsible like that, though Katsuki wouldn’t say that out loud, much less to the other blond himself.
And then he heard it: a wet, shuddering breath coming from the back section of the locker room, tucked into the back of the area like a fucking maze. Katsuki wasn’t focused on the area the sound was coming from so much as the actual sound that was made.
‘The idiot’s crying?’ Katsuki asked. ‘By himself? Dumbass.’ But Katsuki’s chest clenched uncomfortably at the thought, especially as the cries became louder and louder.
When Katsuki rounded the corner, he could hear mumbling coming from the stall all the way at the end.
“—can’t do anything right, I can’t even hold my breath so I can stay hidden. What good am I? Why am I still here at U.A.? I’m not smart enough for this school, no matter how much everyone reassures me, no matter how many times I go in for help with our senseis and Yaomomo, I’m just not good enough, I’m never going to be good enough, what’s even the point of this— ”
Katsuki’s eyes widened as he watched the other blond work himself up into a panic attack. Sparks were flying out of Denki, all around him. With how worked up he was, the electric user probably couldn’t even tell that he was discharging so much electricity.
“Oi, Dunce Face!” Katski called, pushing his way fully into the stall. “You’re gonna fuckin’ hurt yourself if you keep this shit up.”
The blond didn’t hear him, of fucking course not.
“Oi, idiot, snap out of it!” Katsuki barked, noticing that the blond had stopped breathing altogether. Katsuki growled and reached forward, grabbing Denki’s hands from where they were nearly ripping his own scalp out.
“God dammit, oi, fucking breathe! ”
Katsuki forced the blond’s head up from his lap, and Katsuki watched as the other blond took in a large staggering breath. Then, large gold eyes looked up at Katsuki, filled with tears and shining like precious jewels.
Katsuki sucked in a breath.
‘Fuck me.’
0o0-0o0-0o0