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Izuku is ashamed of himself.
It was now the weekend after Izuku’s rather disastrous Sports Festival. He’d only been released from Recovery Girl’s…care after she had finished completing the necessary surgery on his arms to make sure they could still work. (And wasn’t that a scary thought, that his hands and arms were going to forever be scarred and marked, a sign of his failure for the remainder of his years.) His mom was, understandably, rather upset at seeing the shape his arms were in. And honestly? Izuku couldn’t blame her either. Izuku himself was pretty scarred after seeing just how badly his arms had taken a beating. It was the reality of a Hero, Izuku knew, to sacrifice your body for the good of the people. But this…may have been taking it a little too far, especially for a Sports Festival.
What made it worse was that Izuku didn’t even do well at the Sports Festival. Sure, he’d done well in the first two rounds by coming in first, but that didn’t mean anything if Izuku didn’t do well in the third round . And he hadn’t. After his promise to All Might to show the world who he was, to let the world know that there was a new Pillar rising to power…Izuku failed. Izuku hadn’t even placed on the podium. He’d lost to Todoroki-kun, and while he didn’t regret helping his friend out, he did regret that by helping his friend out, he lost his chance to show that he was more than just some average U.A. student.
Izuku sighed again, throwing an arm over his eyes. He was currently laying in bed at home, relaxing. It was honestly the quietest weekend Izuku’s had since he started U.A. Admittedly, he’d only been attending U.A. for a little over a month now, but so much had happened since then. In the first few days alone, Izuku had been busy dealing with the break-in, making new friends, the first Heroics exercise, the whole USJ debacle, and all the training they’d had to do. It was a lot to handle. Don’t get him wrong; Izuku is so, so thankful to be able to be this busy, to attend U.A. and make friends with people who value him, to actually have a quirk—
And yet.
And yet, Izuku can’t bring himself to talk to All Might. His mentor, his trusted guide through untangling the complicated, shrouded intricacies of One For All, the man who had come closest to being the father figure Izuku had longed for all his life—Izuku couldn’t talk to All Might because Izuku was ashamed . How was he supposed to face All Might when he had so obviously failed not just him, but One For All, too?
Izuku’s phone buzzed, and he lifted his right arm, the one not covering his eyes, to grab his phone and answer whoever was calling him. Hopefully, whoever was calling him would make the conversation quick—
“Young Midoriya!” All Might’s voice boomed from the phone, and Izuku nearly tumbled out of bed, startled as he was. As it was, his phone took a leaping start from Izuku’s hand and was making a beeline for Izuku’s floor.
Izuku leapt.
A rather flat thump was heard as Izuku landed on the floor, saving his phone in the process. He did not, however, do his ribs any justice.
“Ughh…” Izuku groaned, laying on the floor for a moment, trying to get his breath back. From the other end of the phone, Izuku could hear All Might desperately trying to hold back a flood of chuckles—it wasn’t the first time Izuku had needed to make an emergency landing on some very hard and very uncomfortable surface.
Izuku did not pout from his place on the floor, he didn’t. He was a very strong U.A. First Year, and he could bench press the average car in his neighborhood.
“An admirable feat, to be sure, Young Midoriya,” All Might replied, his voice muffled, probably from a handkerchief. Izuku realized he had spoken out loud again. Was he ever going to get rid of this awful habit of his, of muttering any and every thought he had?
“One day, Young Midoriya, one day,” All Might comforted him from the other end of the phone, replying in a practiced way. It wasn’t the first time All Might had heard Izuku mutter, nor had it been the first time that All Might had assured Izuku that he would one day be able to control his mutter.
“Now that I seem to have your attention,” All Might said, sounding rather amused. “Young Midoriya, I would like for you and I to meet up at Dagoba Beach in an hour. I’ll be waiting for you there.”
“But wait—” Izuku protested, only to hear a dial tone. Izuku grumbled as he ended the call. He supposed that, after multiple missed calls, All Might wasn’t willing to let Izuku ignore him anymore. Izuku sighed. How was he supposed to face All Might?
Izuku just didn’t know. After all, how do you face your Hero when you’ve failed them so miserably?
0o0-0o0-0o0
An hour later, after reassuring his mom that he was just walking over to the beach he used to train at, Izuku found himself standing on the clear beaches of Dagoba. It gave Izuku a deep sense of satisfaction, to see the sand so clear and sparkling. All his hard work over the last year really paid off, and now not only Izuku, but the other residents of Musutafu and others were enjoying the beach for what it was supposed to be—a natural beauty.
Izuku took a deep breath, taking in the fishy-salty smell of the ocean that he had only ever smelled just over a month ago, when he had finally cleared all of the trash from the beach. It still amazed Izuku, really, that just over a month ago, he was no-good, Quirkless, useless Deku. And now, well, he was still fairly useless, and maybe still no-good, but Izuku wasn’t Quirkless anymore. And once again, he was so, so thankful that All Might has somehow seen someone worthy, someone Just and Right to inherit his legacy as a Pillar of Society. It…Izuku sometimes wondered whether or not he would ever be able to fill All Might’s shoes. It wasn’t just his poor performance at the Sports Festival, though that did play a part in his ever-growing self-doubt. No, it was how far behind Izuku was of all his peers. His classmates were amazing, truly, able to use their quirks in unique ways that just showed that they were worthy of the title of “Cream of the Crop”.
And while Izuku liked all of his classmates—something he definitely wouldn’t have been saying last year—Izuku didn’t feel like he was worthy of standing side-by-side with them. Here he was, using a quirk that wasn’t even his , a quirk that hurt his body no matter how much he did his best to learn how to use it. And Izuku…Izuku was tired of feeling this way. But he, he didn’t know how to do better, to be better, because it felt like One For All was always fighting him, judging, weighing his decisions against him and finding Izuku lacking. And Izuku couldn’t be lacking, because he needed to do his best, be the best so that All Might didn’t ever think that Izuku was ungrateful towards him, because that was the last thing that Izuku ever wanted his mentor to feel! Because All Might was amazing, and he had done so much for Izuku, and here Izuku was, not even being able to repay the man’s efforts by placing in the Sports Festival—
“Young Midoriya, you must breathe. ”
And there was All Might, standing in front of Izuku in his Small Might form, kneeling down in front of Izuku’s short frame, his long, skeletal hands firmly, but gently, holding onto Izuku’s shoulders. It was only then that Izuku had realized that he had been so lost in thought that when his thoughts started to spiral, he had sunk down to sand and was, for all intents and purposes, unresponsive.
Izuku could only imagine what kind of image that gave All Might.
“All Might, I’m sorry—”
The man shook his head, shushing Izuku gently.
“It is alright, my boy,” All Might said, softly, sadly, as if Izuku’s spiraling thoughts were his fault instead of Izuku’s.
“You were so very lost inside your thoughts, my boy, and I know how you can get when that happens.” All Might said, shaking his head again, looking upset with himself. “I should have known better, known that you would be taking this all too hard. You’re only fifteen, after all, and with so many burdens—”
“No!” Izuku blurted out loudly, his reverberating voice surprising both Izuku and All Might with just how loud it was.
“All Might, it’s not your fault at all!” Izuku cried. And then, thinking of where they were at, even if the beach was currently deserted, Izuku lowered his voice.
“All Might, this isn’t your fault,” Izuku repeated. “I—it’s not your fault that I’m so useless.”
“‘Useless’?” All Might parroted back, his tone incredulous, though Izuku didn’t pay much mind to it.
“I am!” Izuku agreed. “I can’t use One For All and I keep on hurting my body, I can’t keep up with the rest of my classmates. I wasn’t even able to place in the final rounds of the Sports Festival! I’m useless, and I’m not doing you proud, I’m shaming you—”
A hand covers Izuku’s mouth, forcing him to stop talking and, subsequently, take another breath. The clearing was quiet for a moment, and Izuku stared down at the ground, watching as the billions upon billions of tiny granules of sand slowly shifted in the gently flowing breeze. Eventually, All Might took his hand from Izuku’s mouth, and Izuku took another breath, appreciating the flow of air for what it was worth.
He almost immediately regretted All Might taking his hand away from his mouth when the man carefully, gently, gripped his chin so that Izuku would look up.
Izuku allowed his chin to be lifted, but he still didn’t meet All Might’s eyes. Izuku was too ashamed to do so, because how could Izuku meet his mentor’s eyes when he had failed him so badly, had brought All Might so much shame—
All Might clicked his tongue gently, one of the signals that Izuku and All Might had developed together when they were training here on Dagoba. All Might clicking his tongue meant that Izuku needed to snap out of his thoughts and pay attention, because All Might had something important to say to him.
“My boy…” All Might said, and it twisted Izuku’s heart to hear the man so sad. Had Izuku done this, too? Had he caused his mentor not only shame, but also sadness?
Another click of the tongue, and Izuku shook his head, tearing himself away from the spiraling thoughts his mind was gearing to go down.
“My boy, I’m sorry.” All Might said, and Izuku’s back straightened up, and for the first time since earlier that week at the Sports Festival, Izuku met All Might’s eyes. All Might’s eyes were kind, warm and blue like the endless sky on a cloudless day in summer. Just as his eyes were on Wednesday as he wished Izuku good luck, so too were they now as they looked at Izuku, so soft and warm and open.
Izuku’s eyes watered, and he blinked rapidly. He desperately tried to keep the tears away, to not absolutely break down in front of his Hero, his mentor. But try as he might, Izuku couldn’t hold the tears back, he never could. To hold back his tears would only cause them to spring forth faster and even more uncontrollably. And so, Izuku felt his well of tears burst forth as he began to truly cry in front of All Might, spilling his heart to the man who had given him the world, and had asked nothing of Izuku in return.
“I-I’m s-sorry, I did my best, because I wanted you to be p-proud of me,” Izuku warbled, lifting his bandaged hands to futilely wipe away his tears. “I t-tried s-so hard, I really did, and, and I could have made, it, but, but Todoroki-kun, he needed help and no one was going to do it because no one’s ever asked , so I had to, but my hands, and my arms and the Sports Festival—”
All Might shushed him, folding his arms gently around Izuku as Izuku sunk his head into the crook of All Might’s neck, crying his heart out. Izuku couldn’t stand it, couldn’t stand being a failure, couldn’t stand disappointing All Might, couldn’t stand always breaking down and crying whenever things became too much for Izuku—
Why was Izuku always so weak?
“Shh, my boy, you’re alright,” All Might said, holding Izuku to him tighter, as if trying to cover Izuku’s body from view, to protect Izuku from any harm.
“I am here, and I will not let you go.”
And so the two of them sat, Izuku crying his heart out, and All Might whispering comforting words, nonsense words the man made up to calm Izuku down, to soothe him and reassure Izuku that he was all right, that Izuku was safe, and that Izuku wouldn’t be going anywhere. Even when Izuku ran out of tears to cry, All Might didn’t let Izuku go. He held onto Izuku as if Izuku were precious to him, more precious than any priceless gem in the world. And somehow, Izuku found more tears to shed.
All Might chuckled lightly, tugging on a loose curl on the nape of Izuku’s neck.
“Ah, my boy, sometimes I wonder if your original quirk was to reproduce more water than one initially thinks,” All Might muses, and Izuku chuckles wetly. It wasn’t the first time the Number One Hero had wondered about Izuku’s innate ability to cry a waterfall into existence. The man was still running a gentle hand up and down Izuku’s back, and now that Izuku wasn’t crying his heart out, he could appreciate just how warm he felt, how safe and protected and, and—
“—and loved, my boy,” All Might whispered, finishing Izuku’s sentence. Izuku’s breath hitched, and he turned his head to look up at All Might, to see if the man was just playing with Izuku, because no one loved Izuku, no one besides his mom, because deep down, Izuku was always going to be a Quirkless, worthless deku.
“Oh my boy, my sweet, sweet boy,” All Might murmured, and Izuku’s heart hurt because All Might was still holding him, still treating him as if he were something so precious and wonderful and loved—
“Because you are , my boy,” All Might said. “You are so very, very precious to me.
“But why?” Izuku asked, looking at All Might with watery eyes. “Why would you want me? I didn’t win at the Sports Festival, I didn’t make you proud, I didn’t show to the world that I was here, just like you!”
Izuku exhales, his breath shaky. He shakes his head, not understanding why. No one had wanted him, not since he was four and he was diagnosed as Quirkless. His birth father had left them for somewhere in America, only sending his mother back a pittance every so often for them to use. Growing up, Izuku had received so many venomous glares, so full of hatred and disgust and disdain, as if Izuku were a stain upon their very existence.
And it had been this way for many, many years. Izuku knew this, and had grown used to it. He wouldn’t say he loved it, because who would love being shunned for something you couldn’t control? Certainly not Izuku. But Izuku had become used to the scorn and derision that he’d received from the tender age of four. He was used to it, and he could live with it.
And yet.
Here was All Might, sitting awkwardly criss-crossed on the sand as Izuku was curled up in his arms, protecting Izuku as if he were someone important. And All Might kept on saying that Izuku, Quirkless, useless Izuku, was someone important in his life. But he still didn’t understand why.
“Because, my boy,” All Might said, moving Izuku so that he was leaning against the Hero instead of leaning into him. Izuku looked up at All Might, looked into his Hero’s eyes and saw how they burned a brighter blue than the heavens would ever produce.
“My boy, despite everything, it will always be you.” All Might said, and Izuku's brows furrowed. All Might smiled, and Izuku realized that the man hadn’t coughed in a while. Was it because of how close the two different sources of One For All were?
“Maybe so, my boy,” All Might replied, smiling in that amused way he got whenever Izuku didn’t realize he was talking aloud.
“Maybe so,” All Might repeated, “and it’s one of the reasons why I chose you. ”
“There are many people in this world that we live in, you see, many people who have good intentions, good hearts, strong quirks and sharp minds.” All Might said. “And yet, none of these people would ever be able to match up to your brilliance.”
“My brilliance?” Izuku asked.
“My boy— Izuku, ” All Might said, using Izuku’s given name for the first time. Izuku stared up at the man, his attention completely enraptured.
“Izuku, you are a beacon of light,” The Number One Hero continued. “It does not matter that you were once Quirkless. It does not matter that you only recently received One For All from me, and have yet to catch up to your classmates. It does not matter that you did not place in the Sports Festival this week. Do you know why these issues do not matter?”
Izuku shook his head.
“They do not matter, “ All Might said, “because they do not define you. You are Midoriya Izuku, my chosen protégé, the Ninth Holder of One For All. You are the boy who rushed in to save a hostile classmate from certain death when the Heroes around you would do nothing. You are a young man who values life simply because you hold life sacred. Your heart, your mind, and your soul align to form a shining light for all those who follow in your wake.”
Izuku was stunned. Never had he heard the Number One Hero talk about someone so passionately, let alone Izuku.
“My boy, you are under the misguided belief that I am ashamed of you, for some reason.” All Might said. “Let me tell you now that this couldn’t be further from the truth.”
All Might looked up to the sky, and Izuku could see the words spinning in the Hero’s mind, could see how the man paused to weigh his words, choosing them carefully and assuredly. And Izuku let him, giving the Hero the time needed to speak his mind, just as he had done for Izuku.
“Izuku my boy,” All Might started, gazing down at Izuku. “You have done nothing but make me proud since I first truly saw you for who you were. Despite what you believe you’ve done, despite your injuries, you will always remain my protege. Despite everything you think you may have done wrong, it is still you who I chose to pass down One For All to. It is you who I have trusted with the future of our home, of being a new, shining Pillar for Japan. Never doubt that you have my trust and faith, Izuku.”
Izuku couldn’t help the tears that fell from his eyes once more, touched beyond belief at what All Might was telling him, what All Might was sharing with him. The inner thoughts of the Number One Hero were often hard to come by, the man tight-lipped despite being so outwardly friendly. And yet, here Izuku was, getting from row access to hearing what Japan’s Pillar thought, and the man’s thoughts were about Izuku , about how Izuku made him proud, how he trusted Izuku and believed Izuku.
Izuku wiped his eyes again as tears spilled out, and All Might laughed, low and warm, a comforting vibration that resonated across Izuku’s whole body. It was truly an indescribable feeling, one Izuku would never, ever forget.
0o0-0o0-0o0
“So,” Izuku said, sitting down on the sand next to All Might as they watched the gradually setting sun descend into the ocean. The two were munching on the junk food snacks the man had brought. Apparently, All Might had called Izuku down to the beach because he was worried Izuku was in a funk, and had wanted to cheer him up. It amazed Izuku how in-tune All Might was with Izuku and his feelings. Maybe it was another One For All thing?
“What is it, my boy?” All Might asked, chewing on a stick of banana-flavored pocky. Izuku drew patterns into the sand, feeling a bit nervous. It’s not like All Might would tell him no, right? Izuku didn’t think it was that big of a deal, but since he hadn’t shared it with Izuku before, maybe All Might didn’t actually want to share it with Izuku? Maybe—
All Might clicked his tongue, and Izuku blinked a few times, looking over to All Might cautiously, if not curiously.
“Just ask me, my boy,” All Might said, and Izuku bit his lip before mustering the courage to ask.
“Do you, um, do you think I could…your name?” Izuku asked, his voice growing softer and softer until it was nearly a whisper. The beach was silent and still for a moment, and Izuku held his breath.
“My…name?” All Might asked, confused, and Izuku nodded rapidly.
“Ahh, yeah, I was just wondering if you wouldn’t mind telling me your name, since you’re kind of calling me by my first name—which is totally fine by the way, I actually really like it when you, um, call me by my name—not that you have to, of course, but still, you’re totally welcome to! But I just, if you didn’t mind—”
“Did I never tell you my name?” All Might asked, interrupting Izuku mid-ramble, and Izuku paused to nod, uncertainly.
Unexpectedly, All Might groaned.
“My boy, forgive me,” All Might said, turning to face Izuku fully, an earnest, if sheepish expression coloring his face. Izuku tilted his head slightly, confused.
“Forgive you?” Izuku asked. “Why?”
“I had thought I had told you earlier on after we first met, my boy,” All Might replied, sighing. “I never said anything because I thought you knew and decided to use my Hero Name regardless, simply because of how much of a fanboy you are.” All Might chuckled, slightly abashed. “Apparently, it just slipped my mind instead.”
Izuku couldn’t help the snort he released, because honestly, that really tracked for the Number One Hero. All Might clicked his tongue at Izuku teasingly.
“Now, now, none of that teasing,” All Might chided jokingly. “Old men like myself are prone to forgetting things.”
“You’re not old!” Izuku argued, because Izuku was in the right, All Might wasn’t actually an old man! Sure, he was in his forties, but that didn’t make him old.
“That does, in fact, make me old, my boy,” All Might replied, chuckling at Izuku again. Izuku huffed, crossing his arms. A moment later, he looked at All Might, curious and more hopeful than he was before. All Might smiled down at him, raising a hand to ruffle Izuku’s hair.
“It’s nice to meet you, Midoriya Izuku,” All Might said, removing his hand from Izuku’s hair to bring it down for Izuku to shake. “My name is Yagi Toshinori.”
Izuku beamed at All Might, no, Yagi Toshinori , shaking the older man’s hand with his own smaller, newly scarred hand.
“It’s nice to meet you, Yagi-san—” Izuku began, but his Hero shook his head.
“Call me Toshinori, my boy,” Ya— Toshinori said, and Izuku nodded, uncertain.
“I-it’s nice to meet you, Toshinori-san,” Izuku repeated, and the man hummed.
“We’ll work on it, my boy,” Toshinori-san said, and Izuku snorted, his mouth running before he could control it.
“And what? We’ll work up to me calling you ‘Dad’?” Izuku quipped, and then froze as he processed the words he just said.
Izuku stared at Toshinori-san, and the Hero stared back. Then, to Izuku’s horror, Toshinori-san’s smile grew wide, eerily wide. Izuku didn’t need the stirring sensation in his gut to tell him that he needed to run, and run quick before he was caught.
Izuku jumped, and Toshinori-san swiped. Izuku screeched in surprise as the tall blond man nearly caught him. Toshinori-san stood up from his seat in the sand and chuckled darkly.
“Don’t let me catch you, Little Hero,” Toshinori-san’s voice grew sinister in that over-the-top villain voice he’d occasionally heard. Only this time, Izuku knew very well what this “villain” was capable of.
And Izuku ran .
For the rest of their time together, Toshinori-san and Izuku ran around and for the first time in his life, Izuku felt happy .
It was everything he had wanted it to be.
0o0-0o0-0o0