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“You idiot! How will you handle this?” I'm here with Han Sooyoung in her apartment.
I sighed and massaged my temple, “Shut up for a second, you witch.”
She stared at me with bewilderment and slam the papers, which I got in the hospital after the check up, right beside me.
“You fucking got hanahaki and you’re telling me to shut up? Agh! Just fucking confess to him!” She whined.
“Who?” I asked in confusion. She stared at me like I’m the dumbest living person alive.
“Who else… confess to Yoo Jonghyuk.” It hit me like a truck.
“W-What? No way! He is not the one I like!” As much as I deny it, if this witch is the one I’m arguing with, she’ll notice that I’m lying right away.
“Yes he is. If you’re planning to hide it, not in front of us idiot.” Then she smirk and went to her kitchen.
“What do you mean ‘us’? Sooyoung!”
“HAHAHA”
--
“I like you, Jonghyuk-ah” My heart was beating so fast as I await his reaction. I lowered my head as to hide my reddened cheeks because of the embarrassment I felt. Damn that witch. I should have not listen to her.
Then I heard him chuckled so I slowly make myself take a glance. ‘how can his laugh sounds like a music to my ears’. This is the second time I heard him laugh so genuinely throughout the years that I’ve known him.
“I like you too.” And before I could react to anything, he hug me so tight that I can feel my heart getting pressured because of the sudden act. But this time its different.
--
I left the hospital and went to Sooyoung’s place again. I should have went to Jonghyuk’s house since he invited me over. But this embarrassed ass of mine, rejected the offer. Besides, I need to cool off my head for the meantime.
“Oh? What do we have here?” I look at her and rolled my eyes. She’s wearing the same clothes that she wore yesterday.
“Just take a batch. You stink.” I said as I made my way into her apartment.
“That’s rude. And I’m not stinky at all!” I just shrugged and put the brown envelope on top of the table. She notice where it came from so she runs back to her room to take a bath.
--
“Aww~ look at this~ Our Dokja-yah is not single anymore~ I’m gonna tell this to Sangah.” I immediately snatched her phone away from her. Red cheeks from the way she teases me.
“Stop it you witch. Don’t tell anyone yet! I-It’s not that we’re officially dating or not!” I reasoned out.
“OHH! Hehe~ so tell me what happened then.”
--
“Finally! After months of pining you actually got to date each other.” And of course there’s this witch again.
“Shut with the teasing Sooyoung.” Jonghyuk warned.
“Why~ its fun.” Jonghyuk just grunted and I chuckled. Then I felt his hand squeezing my hand. I melt. If this is truly what it felt to love someone, I just wanted to die.
--
“So you guys are dating?!” Uriel noona was shouting like it’s the end of the world. Today was the day we decide to open up to our group of friends.
“Noona, is it not obvious?” Jihye asked.
“I mean, IT IS obvious. Especially Dokja.” I cover half of my face with my other hand just to hide the embarrassment that I feel. Am I that obvious?
“If that is obvious, how come, jonghyuk oppa doesn’t know it?” Asked Yoosung.
“Brat, that guys is hard as rock. He’ll not feel anything unless you’ll tell him straight.” answered Sooyoung while pointing to Jonghyuk.
--
Its cold as heck in our place and that witch wishes to dine outside. I sighed and took a mug of coffee.
“Dokja-yah, are you ready?” Jonghyuk peaked from the living room.
“Yeah. Just finishing drinking this coffee.”
"Wear something warm.” I look at my outfit and I am covered with coats and scarfs.
“I AM wearing something warm.” And chuckled, “...say Jonghyuk-ah, do you love me?” I added just to avert his topic.
“Yes, I love you Dokja-yah.” I smiled. And that’s all what is needed to fell harder for this man.
*coughs*
“Tss. I told you to wear something warm. Do you think you could trick me?” Jonghyuk, who is now walking towards me, wraps another layer of coat and scarf.
“Damn it, Jonghyuk-ah. What am I? A cotton ball?” I said seriously
He chuckled, “No? but you’re becoming one.”
--
“Happy first year anniversary, love.” I was greeted by a bouquet of flowers as I made my way downstairs. We’re now living together in a apartment in the same building as Sooyoung.
I smiled and give him a peck.
“Happy first to us, love. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
--
“When will you tell him?” I am here again in sooyoung’s place. Gathering some thoughts.
“Not that topic again.” I sighed. This witch is becoming more annoying day by day. Oh wait, she’s annoying since her mom birth her.
“Nope! Not unless you answered me!”
“I am NOT gonna tell him that I pooped out of the window when I was six!” I yelled.
I’m panting because of the effort it took.
“Y-You… BUAHAHAHA!”
“W-What?” My eyes are already drooping.
“I can’t believe this works! HAHAHA!” And I passed out.
--
“Don’t fucking tell them!” It turns out, she made me drink alcohol to tell her one of my hidden secrets. Damn it. She knows that I dislike alcohol since she knows that I have low tolerance on it and yet-
“Okay. Okay. HAHAHA!”
--
“Mr. Kim Dokja, I must say that you’re on the last stage.” After the enecounter on Sooyoung’s place I went straight into the hospital to check my condition.
“Did you not confessed, Mr. Kim? Or did she rejected you? I’m afraid your case needs an immediate action.” The doctor said.
I know. “I know.”
“Then please make your decision within this week. I’m afraid we can’t save you if we pass this chance.”
--
“Jonghyuk-ah~ Love~” I poked Jonghyuk’s cheeks while he’s sleeping. He slowly opened his eyes and I smiled.
“Wake up love.”
“Hmm?” I stood up and went into the window in an attempt to open the curtains so that light will illuminate our room.
“Why are you shining?” that’s a dumb question coming from him.
“It's because you’re in love.” I joked as I make way to the sunlight.
“I love you, Jonghyuk-ah”
“I love you too.”
--
“I’m sorry, Ms. Choi. I don’t think I can take the surgery.” I confessed. I’m afraid that I’m not gonna remember him. That I’m not gonna know him. Not seeing him. Not meeting him. Im afraid of-
“I’m afraid of everything, Ms. Choi.” I smiled sadly.
She smiled back at me, “I see. I appreciate the honesty Mr. Kim. But if you truly don’t want to take the surgery, confess.” She reasoned out.
“The thing is… I already had…” I look at my hand that is now shaking and quivering, “…but I guess he didn’t feel the same way like I did.”
--
“You bastard! What do you mean by this?” I’m here in the hospital room with Sooyoung. Within my friends, she’s the only person I wanted to inform about my condition.
“You’re telling me that you fabricated the check up papers before?! I-“ She broke down and cry.
I smiled and smiled since that is the only thing I’m good at. I don't want her to see my already-fragile side.
“Soo-“
“Shut up! There- There must be a way-“
“Sooyou-
“-to get you better. I-I’ll call-“
“Han Sooyoung!- *cough*” I shouted.
She run towards me.
“No one’s calling who. This is my choice. I’ll live with this choice.” I explained to her.
“…But you’re not going to...”
--
It turns out all of this is a lie. Love. Confession. Yoo Jonghyuk. It’s all a lie.
--
“I like you, Jonghyuk-ah.”
“I like you too.” And before I could react to anything, he hug me so tight that I can feel my heart getting pressured because of the sudden act.
But this time its different. It hurts so bad. And this is the time that I knew that I lost.
--
“Say… Han Sooyoung, loving him was… wonderful, isn’t it? But… I didn’t expect it… to be this… painful…”
“…”
I can hear her sniffing and I chuckled and coughed with the remaining energy that I have.
“Loving… him is…”
--
Han Sooyoung took a deep breath as she heard the beeping sound. She stayed in her position and swallowed a painful cry but can't.
She cried and cried again and again at that day.
“Loving him… was all what you want to do. Am I right, Dokja-yah?”
She forced a smile to her face directed to now a lifeless body.
She look up in the ceiling. “I wish that whenever you are, you’ll find the one who’ll love you unconditionally.”