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When Zuko woke up, he felt… strange.
…
Sick.
He felt sick.
Trying to inhale and exhale, he had a coughing fit.
Very sick.
But he had so many things to do, like train the Avatar. He heaved another cough, trying to stand up. His head was spinning, and his lungs felt like fire. Maybe it was the Fire Fever? You know, the fever fire benders get once in a lifetime. Usually when becoming adults.
…
No, that couldn’t be it. Maybe he just caught a cold.
Yep. A normal cold.
Anyways, he should probably tell the others. He struggled to walk down the stone hallway. His breathing was labored. He was completely out of breath before even reaching the fireplace. Luckily, Toph was there.
“Sparky? Why is your heart beating like that?” She asked, staring in his general direction. “I think I might-“ his voice was raspier than usual, and just a few simple words like that broke into a coughing fit. He tried to bring up his elbow to his face, to avoid spreading the sickness.
With that, he fell to his knees.
He wasn’t getting much air in, hence the coughing. Once his throat felt completely coarse, he wheezed in some air. He swallowed, trying to get rid of the pain in his throat. His blood was so loud in his ears, that he couldn’t hear Toph yelling at Katara. Soon enough, there were two pairs of hands trying to get him away from the floor.
He wanted to stay there, it was nice and cool. Someone said something about a fever, but his brain was too clouded to make anything from it. His eyelashes were sticky, and that was all he could focus on. He tried walking with the supportive arms that held him, and soon enough he was laid down onto a soft mattress. He opened his eyes, to see someone reaching over to his face. He ducked his head away, grunting softly.
He was fine, he didn’t need any babying.The hand still landed on his forehead. It stayed there for a little while and then disappeared. He felt hot. Way too hot to be in bed. Did he meditate yet?
…
He didn’t.
He didn’t greet Agni yet, and he was in bed again. Was Agni going to be angry? Was father going to be angry?? Please, he couldn’t handle a punishment in this state. He was too hot, too tired to even beg properly. He managed a small
“…’m sorry”
before falling asleep. In his dream, he was also hot. Sweaty, and disgusting. It was like in a sauna. His lungs were very much in pain, and he had trouble breathing. At one point, he felt smoke coming out of his mouth and nostrils. He couldn’t breathe, when he inhaled his insides burned, and when he exhaled he coughed. Sometimes a little flame would come out with that cough. But it was a dream, right? He was alright in the real world.
…right? He woke up after what felt like days and prepped himself up on his elbows. He needed to go outside.
Fresh air. No more sauna.
That train of thought got cut off with yet another coughing fit. This time he almost set the blanket on fire. Someone was beside him, that's for sure, but who it was? He had no clue.
The person, with gentle, wet, cold hands, tried to make him sit up. Successfully. Then he could feel smooth coolness spreading on his chest. It was bliss.
He groaned softly and closed his eyes. He realized there was sweat on his forehead. And in his hair. And on his shoulders, and his palms, and everywhere. The cold disappeared from his chest, and he winced. Opening his blurry eyes, he tried to see who was helping him.
…
“..Katara?”
His voice was truly… raw.
And of course it was Katara! Who else could make this awesome coolness?
“Yes, I’m right here. I’ll be with you the whole time, ok?”
She replied. Zuko hummed. He was unsurprisingly thirsty. He opened his mouth to ask for water, but there was already a bowl pressed to his lips.
His eyebrows raised in alarm, but he gratefully drank the liquid. It didn’t taste quite like water, but maybe that’s because his tongue was a little burnt. He quickly finished whatever was in that bowl, and said a small
“thanks”
“no problem. Is it getting worse? Or staying the same?”
she tried to ask, as gentle as possible.
“‘ts the same”
Zuko answered.
“…do you know what sickness this is?”
Her question confused Zuko. Did water benders not have a similar sickness?
“Fire fever”
he rasped out. He didn’t want to believe it, but it was true.
“Fire fever? I’ve… never heard of that.”
She admitted sadly.
“…”
Zuko wanted to explain it very simply. Not many words.
“Lungs ‘r”
he wanted to find the right word.
“…shedding”
that was it. He didn’t want to talk anymore for at least a week. It hurt too much.
“Shedding!?”
Her face was very, very surprised.
“Is that normal? Do I stop it or help it?”
She was in her healer mindset, of course. He swallowed. The sticky surface of his throat was uncomfortable.
“Fire bender thing”
he wheezed out before coughing again. He felt sick. He gagged softly, the smell of burnt flesh was in his nose and mouth, and it was coming from inside him.
He felt disgusting. He didn’t want to bother Katara or anyone else with this disgusting smell of sweat and burnt flesh. Maybe taking liquids in won’t do him that much good, because he truly felt like vomiting. He gagged again, and prayed to Agni he won’t have to.
Just before the bile hit his mouth, Toph and Sokka stepped into the room. The earth bender made a quick makeshift bowl from the floor, right in front of Zuko.
Vomit, blood, and water were soon mixed in the container, Zuko gasping for air just above.
The mixture was warm, if not hot. And suddenly it was too much again, his hair was sticky, his head was pounding, his body was too hot, and his insides were on fire .
He wanted to cry. So he did. His entire being shook with hot tears as the others tried to comfort him. Soon enough, he fell asleep again.
Sokka was truly disturbed by the sight.
“Is he gonna, you know…” he looked at his sister. “survive?…” He asked sheepishly.
“I’m- I don’t know. He said that this is called a ‘Fire fever’ and that Fire bender shed their lungs during this.”
She looked worried. Very worried.
“Shed their lungs? Why for god's sake?” Toph asked with her usual tone. A small silence filled the room. Nothing but occasional heavy breaths from Zuko could be heard.
“Maybe… maybe it’s so they can breathe the fire.” Sokka speculated.
The girls looked at him with concern.
“Think about it!!” Sokka objected, “He always goes on how ‘fire comes from the breath’ when he trains Aang!”
The boy explained. Now he had the other two thinking. It kind of made sense.
“You may be right about this one,” Katara admitted. “Why don’t we ask Aang? He mentioned that the air temples were a healing place, maybe he knows something about this.”
Toph offered, scratching her hair. “Good idea. I should stay with Zuko though. In case it gets worse.” The water bender said, checking Zuko's temperature again.
“Okay, we’ll be right back,” Sokka said goodbye and went to find Aang together with Toph. She had given him self-practice as a task while they checked on Zuko. “Aang!” She yelled, hoping to be heard over the smashing of rocks.
She was successful.
“Hey! What’s up? How’s Zuko?” He jumped down from the mini hill he was on.
“Well, apparently, he has this weird thing going on. Raised temperature, coughing-“
“He’s got the Fire fever.” Toph cut off Sokka. “Do you know anything about it?” She asked, right to the chase.
“…”
Aang had to think about this one. The monks helped heal and rehabilitate many fire benders back then, but the concept of ‘Fire fever’ didn’t ring a bell in his head.
“No, sorry…” he answered. “Do you guys know anything?” He asked back, fidgeting with his hands.
“Katara said that Zuko said that he’s shedding his lungs. That’s all we know.” Sokka explained briefly. But, that- that rang a very specific bell in Aangs memory.
“They’re calling it Fire fever now? The monks always called it ‘The change’.” He let out a small snicker at the name, “all adulting fire benders go through the change as a part of puberty. Kind of. It happens only once, when the body and mind feel the safest and at ease. Then it starts to slowly burn the lungs, kind of like shedding them. It's a painful process, but it deepens the bond between Fire and fire benders.” He said, “also, I think maybe dragons have a similar process. When their fire gizzard gets first activated.” He added.
…
“Fire gizzard??” Toph asked, not believing her ears. “Yeah, it’s separated into two parts and has chemicals that then combine to create fire. It always has to be warm of course, or else the dragon dies.”
…
Aang really knows some interesting stuff.
“How the heck do you know that??” Sokka asked, very surprised.
“I don’t know, it just makes sense. So when you think about it, you figure it out pretty well on your own.” He replied, as naturally as ever.
“Yeah, ok, let's go check on Katara and Zuko,” Sokka said, still not believing Aangs brain capacity. As they walked down the hallway, they could hear more coughing, and some gagging too. It didn’t sound very pleasant.
“Hey… how are you holding up?” Aang entered the room first. Zuko just sat against the wall, catching his breath. The air felt agonizingly still to him, and so hot.
So, so painfully hot.
“Not so cool”
he rasped out, softly smiling at his little joke. He got a snort out of Sokka.
“Is there anything I can do? Anything at all?” Aang asked more, sitting down next to him. Zuko breathed for a little while before answering.
“Blow?”
Was all he could manage in the end. To his pleasant surprise, Aang understood pretty well and made a gentle, cold breeze around his face. It was nice and kind. Zuko relished in the feeling.
If only it wasn’t disturbed by something so strange and painful.
There was something in his throat. And it hurt . It hurt like his face did those three years ago. He cried out in pain, and his hands shot up around his throat. He couldn’t breathe properly. He coughed and gagged, but it wouldn’t stop. The breeze stopped. There was liquid on his back, searching for something. Then there were hands on his face, and before he knew it, the lump was being pulled out.
It hurt, so, so much.
He couldn’t think, he couldn’t breathe- his vision went dark, and he drifted out of consciousness. He saw Lala again. His little sister, before she turned into this cold-hearted beast.
She was only seven at the time. She had the Fire fever. He still truly loved her sister back then and wanted to help her. But father wouldn’t let him. He said she needed to either hide her weakness or deal with it alone. The picture suddenly morphed into something more morbid. There she was, lying in bed, blood on the bedsheets. She wasn’t breathing. Her body couldn’t handle it, she didn’t survive. He could hear his father’s disappointed scoff behind his back.
“Come on. Leave her. She wasn’t strong enough, she doesn’t deserve your pity.”
He ordered, hands on Zuko's shoulders.
Fuck. He should just shut up. He didn’t need to hear his disgusting words again.
He didn’t need to hear about his body while his cruel hands drifted on it.
He didn’t need to hear about his ‘horrible’ fire bending skills during royal dinner.
He didn’t need to hear him say
“get up and fight, Prince Zuko. Fight for your honor.”
He was kneeling before him. Before all of these people. “No, I won't fight you. I am your loyal son.” His lips moved on their own, and his voice sounded just like it used to before all of the screaming. “You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.”
His father said, caressing his cheek before moving to his eye.
Zuko naturally leaned into it. He craved any validation he could get from him. Then the heat came. The agonizing pain, his own screams as his father held his hair so he couldn’t move. His eye burned. His hair got melted into his ear, later causing an infection. The thumb pressed onto his forehead clutching into his skull, and he cried.
He cried, he wept, because he didn’t deserve this. He didn’t. His lungs were on fire, and his throat was so, so raw. He saw blue.
Blue? His uniform was red.
What uniform?
Was it a dream?
Is this a dream?
He didn’t understand.
He was so confused. He didn’t know what to do. He was tired and in pain. He wanted to pass out, he wanted to die or- or something! Anything! He couldn’t do it anymore. He was too tired, sad, and scared- and- he started sobbing.
Irrational thoughts rained in his brain, confusing him even further. This caused alarm in the others. Of course, they understood that shedding lungs couldn’t be a nice experience, but hearing Zuko's hurt and lonely wails, so full of spite and sadness, they weren’t prepared for that.
After Katara used her water bending to help pull out the lump of bloody flesh from his throat, he was in and out of consciousness.
He sounded like a wounded animal at this point, and nobody knew what to do. Katara tried gaining his attention, but the only thing Zuko seemed to register was movement in front of him.
After a while, he just stopped. He fell asleep. He didn’t have any more dreams now, he just rested in this silent darkness. It was calming, and he didn’t feel so hot anymore. He wanted to sleep for at least a month now, after this whole ordeal.
…
When he woke up, it was nighttime already. The moon was high up in the sky, and the stares were so bright.
He felt better. He didn’t remember much, except for not being able to breathe or think properly. He got out of bed, just to realize his body feels different. It felt… lighter? Or was it because of his breathing?
…
doesn’t matter, current objective: water. Walking down to the water fountain, he saw Momo but that was it. Everyone else must’ve gone to sleep already.
After drinking some water, he did some basic stretches before returning to his room. He didn’t care that it stank like death and sweat, he was too tired. He fell asleep again and had a nice, deep rest.
In the morning, he tried to explain Fire Fever as much as he could, although he didn’t know much himself. He knew that people can die if they are not strong enough to handle fire. He knew that his younger sister went through it when she was seven and that his father despised the whole process.
Aang let him in on a couple of secrets, like that it was called ‘The change’ and that people shouldn’t die from it. They should get as much support as needed, and get through it no matter what. That was interesting, to say the least.
He also tried meditating like usual, and it felt… different. Not bad. He felt as if his inner fire had grown a bit, and it felt good.