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Dean curled up more, the thunder was loud even from inside the bunker. Dean would get his headphones ---drain out the hell sounds and trauma with music--- however, he couldn't move out from under the safety of the covers.
He hated that this is his stupid way of trying to cope instead of putting a blade to his wrist or downing bottles of beer, one of which he's already done within the hour; It hadn't helped.
Covering his ears when another thunder banged through the air, maybe he should go to Sam. No, no, Sam didn't need Dean's useless ass waddling into his room at 2 in the morning whining about some stupid thunder, Sam was probably having the best sleep of his life! His brother always did fall asleep easier with the sound of rain and thunder.
Dean never understood that; Rain, okay, but thunder? Never in a million worlds could Dean relax with thunder booming all around him.
Curling up into a fetal position, he thought of going to Cas. The angel wasn't here, he was helping Gabriel out with an annoying bunch of demons, 'Gabriel' means more of Gabriel and Castiel are doing Crowley's work because some demons attacked and annoyed Gabriel who then dropped Cas into it.
Hope Cas's okay Dean thought as he willed himself to sit, his hands falling limp to his lap. The thunder had stopped, though, Dean could still hear the pouring rain outside.
He looked helplessly around his room, he needed his headphones, but he couldn't find the suckers. Damnit he must've left them out in the library or something; He wasn't willing to go to the library.
But Sam's room was close
No, no, can't go to Sam, He reminded himself, flinching hard at the thunder. Grabbing the blanket and wrapping it around himself; He looked like a scared, pathetic child.
Maybe going to Sam is a good idea, Sam's warm, and comforting, and he can protect Dean from the thunder and the terrible thoughts rising in Dean's mind.
And with that, Dean took a shaky step off his bed. Shivering at the coldness of the floor, having slept without socks and shoes so he was barefoot with only his heel protected by his pant leg.
He mustered the energy to stand and let the blanket drop off of him, his arms felt so exposed now with the bandages and scars able to be seen, the thinness of his arms and sharp wrist. He needed a jacket before going to Sam.
Dean hesitantly took a step to his desk, grabbing the jacket. Suddenly thunder ringed in his ears and he let out a silent cry, quickly getting his old leather jacket on and wrapping himself in it.
He needed Sam
So, silently, Dean began to his door. His whole body was trembling: What if Alastair was outside that door? This was all a sick, twisted way of torture and Dean can't go to Sam.
That thought struck Dean frozen in front of the door, and the smell of smoke hit him in the face. It was just flashbacks, he needed to calm down in order to get to Sam. He tried to remind himself that, but the images of Alastair's face flashed through his mind, the scenario that this is all hell and he'll get struck back into the deepest depth of hell.
For minutes Dean just stood there until thunder went off again, rendering him back into reality with a violent flinch and loud whimper. He remembered his mission, get to Sam, cuddle with Sam, fit perfectly in Sam's arms, and be safe from this hell.
So again, Dean's adventure to Sam's room began. He shakily opened his door and peeked out, expecting hell to be waiting for him but it was just the dark hallway of the bunker. Relief washed over him, and he let a sigh slip past his lips.
He closed his door and took a few steps forward, turning and going to head to Sam's room before Boom boom the thunder began to morph into gunshots. Memories combined into a sick version of 'your life flashes before your eyes
Dean ended up standing there for a few minutes, tightly wrapping his jacket around himself with his eyes closed shut.
For the past hour, he had been crying, so his eyes were already red and puffy, and now he was starting to cry again. Silently sob in the middle of the hallway.
He needs to get to Sam, Sam's warmth, Sam's safeness, he needs to get to Sam.
Hesitantly, Dean took another step, then another. He was trying to go faster and faster, but each time thunder banged in the air sending him back to a time that wasn't now.
"Oh, Dean, I think you'll love this one" Alastair purred, taking out some weird prang-looking thing. Dean couldn't tell what it was, he was hanging from these stupid chains that were buried into his flesh; The slightest movement would cause pain all over Dean.
He wanted to yell, scream, shout but he was too exhausted, he wanted to ask what that was but he was too exhausted. He couldn't even scream when a shock coursed through him, his body reacted by jerking around, spasming out. boiling blood leaving his mouth and leaking from his eyes.
"Dean, you're getting better, no more screaming?" Alastair asked and placed the prang down, grabbing onto Dean's chin and gripping tight making Dean chokes out the boiling blood.
"Why not get to the real fun of the day? Shall we?" The sick voice asked, thunder boomed in the background, it filled Dean's head
Dean's mind came back to reality when he heard another thunder. He wanted to move another step, he needed to get to Sam's room. The comfort, the safety Sam had. He needed it, but he was frozen. His face was wet with tears and his wrist stung with cuts.
He couldn't get to Sam's room. He couldn't get to the comfort, the warmth. He couldn't get to curl up in Sam's arms and rest. All he can do is stand here and cry. The only thing he managed to do is inch down onto the floor.
Curling up in a fetal position with tears streaming down his face.
He was stuck right here, in the middle of the hallway looking like a hurt puppy. He couldn't get to Sam and these memories won't leave him alone, the thunder felt never-ending. It was all too overwhelming and drove Dean into a panic.
His heart beating faster with every drop of rain he heard, his cries getting ever so louder but he muffled them with his placement of hands. Curling up more, he wished he dared to call out for Sam.
To Dean's great mercy, he heard a door click open. please be Sam, please be Sam at this point Dean didn't care if Sam found him curled and crying like a scared child, he just needed Sam.
"Dean?" Sam's voice came with deep concern, a tall figure came Dean's way. Once closer Dean saw it was Sam, not some monster faking Sam's voice. "S--" Dean attempted to get a word out of his mouth but it came out as a choked sob.
"Hey--hey Dean what's the matter? Are you okay?" Sam asked as he kneeled beside Dean, placing his hand on Deans' shoulder gently, Dean couldn't get a word out he just sobbed more. Seems like Sam got the hint.
Sam gently scoped Dean up in his arms, "You're getting lighter, Dean" Sam stated, that fact Dean knew but he didn't feel like acknowledging, he just kept sobbing.
"Okay, okay, Dean's it's okay" Sam attempted to reassure Dean, but the sobs did soften some. Sam saw that as a win. He stood up while holding Dean bridle style, "How about you sleep with me?" Sam suggested, Dean replied quickly with a nod.
"Okay, It's the thunder, isn't it?" Sam guessed as he walked to his room, holding Dean close. Sam seemed tired, Dean could tell by the way he shuffled, how loose he was holding Dean, "I--I'm sorry" he stuttered.
"What? No, Dean, it's okay, I wanted to cuddle tonight anyways" Sam gave Dean a tired smile, entering into his room and climbing into bed.
The two got comfortable, more Sam getting them comfortable. Dean's face was buried in Sam's chest and Sam was holding him close.
He planted a soft kiss on the top of Dean's head, "Goodnight baby" he muttered, "I've got you, don't worry"