Chapter Text
WAYWARD ADVENTURES
Welcome to the official Discord server for Watford Uni’s TRPG Society! Give yourself some roles in the intros channel like pronouns, experience level, and games you’re interested in, then introduce yourself in #INTROS. We’re currently virtual, but we hope to return to in-person games soon!
—------------- 30 September, 2021 —-------------
Simon
Some people might tell you that the point of Dungeons & Dragons is to roleplay, explore a fantasy world and character, and have a fun adventure.
Those people are wrong.
The point of Dungeons & Dragons is the snacks.
Penny always brings crisps, I always make scones, and Shepard always shows up with some nonsensical Midwestern concoction that I’m honestly not even sure how he finds the ingredients for here. Last time it was “pepperoni bread,” which as far as I could tell was just pizza with no sauce, on garlic bread instead of pizza dough. Delicious, but still—nonsensical.
Even though the campaign is virtual—and uni rules ban gatherings of more than five for the time being—the three of us keep our tradition of meeting up. Penny and I are flatmates, anyway, and Shep’s over enough to make him an honorary one.
“Fluffernutters!” he says in greeting, bouncing on his toes in our doorway.
“Erm… what?”
He shoulders by me and starts removing things from his tote bag: sliced white bread, peanut butter, and a white jar that simply reads, “Fluff.”
“It’s not technically Midwestern,” he admits, too apologetic for how little I care. “It’s from the Northeast.”
I peer at the mystery Fluff jar. Against my will, I’m a bit curious. “Okay.”
Penny’s door opens and closes behind her. She makes it three steps before swearing, “Stevie’s tits!”
This happens every week.
“Cape,” I say without looking over.
“I know,” she snaps.
“You don’t have to wear it.”
“It looks good,” Shep says immediately.
“It would look better not caught in my door,” she grumbles.
“Look, we can’t all be perfect,” he says good-naturedly. “Want a sandwich?”
Penny tsks. “Offering a sandwich before the alcohol. How dare you?” She sweeps her purple cape around her and starts rifling through the fridge.
We open a few ciders and get settled on the sofa. Shep takes the armchair opposite, claiming our coffee table for his things: two notebooks, a complicated drawing on graph paper, more dice than anyone should own, and finally his DM screen. The side facing us features a map of the US with cute drawings of cryptids wherever they might be found. He’s stuck little gold stars onto all the spots he’s been.
Penny gets out her dice. They’re distinctive because they’re oversized; they look like massive purple gemstones, matching the ring she always wears. She rolls her D20 absently between her palms.
My own dice were a birthday gift from Shep—red, with razor-sharp edges and gold engravings of constellations around the numbers. If I roll them between my palms, it’ll probably end bloody. (Nobody wants a mess on the sofa.)
During our last campaign, which was DM’d by this guy called DMage, mine and Penny’s characters saved the world from a threat that was sucking up all the magic. It was a great campaign, even though it didn’t really have a happy ending. My character lost his magic, Philippa’s lost her voice, and there were a few NPC casualties.
Usually we’d make new characters, but I guess Penny and I wanted to explore what happens next—what happens to folk heroes after they’re no longer needed. We’d levelled up to 5 during that campaign, so Shep said it would work to reuse Snow and Peryn for this one.
It’s nice coming back to these characters, like they’re old friends or something. Sometimes I feel like I know Snow’s head better than my own.
I want to know what happens to him. What happens next.
Shep does one lucky roll of all of his dice, swears under his breath, and then opens his laptop to Discord. “Ready?”
# ANNOUNCEMENTS
—------------- 15 September, 2021 —-------------
Shepard from Omaha™ — Today at 5:32 PM
@everyone HELLO MY FELLOW CHAOS CREATURES AND HAPPY START OF THE SEMESTER!! ❤️ It’s me, your amazing co-president along with @penny from heaven. I’m here to announce that campaign sign-ups are now open! You can check out more details on the campaigns running this semester in #elevator-bitches.
~
:red_car: Any Way the Wind Blows
D&D 5e, DM is me. The vibe? Midwestern gothic magic clusterfuck. Loads of fun, I promise. I *will* be demanding extremely detailed character sheets. Max 5 players for this one and we’ll start at level 5, so experience is preferred.
:books: Watford-haven
D&D 5e, Strixhaven homebrew, DM is @trixisforkids. Our uni, but magic with rules, schools, and tools borrowed from the Strixhaven setting.
:game_die: West Marches
Yes, we’re doing this, yes, it’s gonna be awesome. Alternating DMs are @devwantsabev and @intotaldeniall. The more players the better!
:ghost: Monster of the Week
If you’ve been around for a while you know that I GM’d this like, religiously for 2 years. I’m passing the torch to @pipsqueakparker now that I’m running D&D, so buckle up for some crazy adventures and probably monsterfucking
[Excerpt from the notebook of Shepard Love]
intro cinematic DRAFT 2:
in a small town in the midwest, you walk into a tavern. well, actually it’s more of a shitty dive bar, but it’s called The Tavern, so you’ll let it slide. the townspeople are lively, laughing and friendly, but they all turn their heads to stare at you. some people shift their chairs further away or stop talking. you get the sense that these are people who are wary of outsiders, but that’s pretty unnatural to them. something strange is afoot here.
what the players know
- midwestern gothic
- strange magic is at play!!
- people are being found dead amongst the corn, drained of all their blood
- the townspeople think it’s a vampire, which has turned them against each other
# 🚗 - AWTWB
—------------- 15 September, 2021 —-------------
[Show Member List]
Mod — 2
Shepard from Omaha™
penny from heaven
AWTWB — 4
no thots only scones
Local Horse Girl
sappho’s platonic bestie
monsieur-le-cercueil
Shepard from Omaha™ [@shepardlove] — Today at 6:06 PM
Hellooooo party people
You 5 messaged me first so I’m marking the campaign as full!
Wait, gotta change my nickname
Determined Monsterfucker [@shepardlove] — Today at 6:07 PM
Okay, now we can get started
penny from heaven [@pennyforyourthoughts] — Today at 6:07 PM
You’re impossible
Determined Monsterfucker — Today at 6:07 PM
Get it, like DM?
penny from heaven — Today at 6:07 PM
Hate you
Determined Monsterfucker (DM) — Today at 6:07 PM
Is that right?
Token Straight [@pennyforyourthoughts] — Today at 6:08 PM
Ffs you did not just change my nickname
Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) — Today at 6:08 PM
Kiss me about it, coward
sappho’s platonic bestie [@crunchybutch] — Today at 6:08 PM
what kind of hetero bullshit
Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) — Today at 6:09 PM
Excuse me do I look straight to you
sappho’s platonic bestie — Today at 6:09 PM
i have never seen you actually
Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) — Today at 6:09 PM
I wear a pin jacket
sappho’s platonic bestie — Today at 6:09 PM
oh well in *that* case.
Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) — Today at 6:23 PM
@channel Here’s a doc with some key info for the campaign! Also fill out this When2Meet so we can figure out a time for sessions <3
[link: Google Docs – AWTWB Campaign Info]
[link: When2Meet]
Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) pinned a message to this channel. See all pinned messages. — Today at 6:23 PM
sappho’s platonic bestie — Today at 6:42 PM
btw, I’ll probably play a swarmkeeper ranger
no thots only scones — Today at 6:32 PM
swarm of what
sappho’s platonic bestie — Today at 6:32 PM
Goats
no thots only scones — Today at 6:33 PM
:unhinged:
i love goats
Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) — Today at 6:35 PM
Goats exist in dnd!
https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/16906-goat
There’s even GIANT goats
Local Horse Girl [@wellbeloved] — Today at 6:36 PM
Omg you got niamh to smile
Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) — Today at 6:36 PM
I have that effect :cowboy:
sappho’s platonic bestie — Today at 6:37 PM
betrayed. by my own girlfriend
Local Horse Girl — Today at 6:37 PM
*platonic bestie
sappho’s platonic bestie — Today at 6:37 PM
gal pals forever x
[Excerpt from the notebook of Shepard Love]
Head empty only vibes
It’s a beautiful day in nebraska. Or is it nebraska? All you know is that the sky is endless and blue and the corn fields are endless and golden. If they really are cornfields, that is. A lone paladin walks the rows, stalks higher than his head, grasses brushing against his large red wings. The sun is bright and nearly blinding. In the distance, a silver truck trundles along a dirt road, its driver unseen. A goat standing in the bed bleats a pitiful cry. It hasn’t seen mountains for ages. The world is quiet and still, and Snow—the lone paladin—no longer knows how to fulfill his oath.
Notes
This is good shit I think
# INTROS
—------------- 1 September, 2021 —-------------
pennyforyourthoughts — 01/09/2021
[admin] [she/her] [D&D] [DM] [Player] [5+ campaigns] [can’t read a fucking map award]
Hello, I’m Penny. :purple_heart: This is my second year as president, though this year I’ll be splitting the duties with @Shepard From Omaha™. I’m also your reference point for any and all things magic, party-building, or D&D history.
Shepard from Omaha™ — 01/09/2021
[admin] [he/him] [MOTW] [GM] [10+ campaigns] [certified monsterfucker] [un-lucky dice]
Hi, I’m your co-president Shepard! I’m a 3rd year here at Watford, you might have seen me around since I’m a campus tour guide. I’m originally from Omaha, Nebraska in the US where I spent most of my time chasing storms and hunting for cryptids. And of course, playing dnd. Slide into my DMs anytime to chat about meteorology, corn, or dread creatures of the night! :mothman:
—------------- 4 September, 2021 —-------------
sourcherryscone — 04/09/2021
[he/him] [D&D] [Player] [5+ campaigns] [has never played a non-paladin]
do i have to do this every year?
pennyforyourthoughts — 04/09/2021
Yes!
—------------- 6 September, 2021 —-------------
monsieur-le-cercueil — 06/09/2021
[he/him] [D&D] [DM] [Player] [5+ campaigns]
I’m not convinced anyone reads this channel. Anyway, hello—you can call me B. This will be my first time playing in a campaign. I’m usually more of the plotting type.
sourcherryscone — 06/09/2021
what does cercieiuel mean
monsieur-le-cercueil — 06/09/2021
*cercueil.
Coffin, in french.
sourcherryscone — 06/09/2021
so…
mr coffin
pennyforyourthoughts — 06/09/2021
It’s a fandom reference Si
sourcherryscone — 06/09/2021
*mr coffin*
like mr clean. but spooky
mr clean’s evil twin
monsieur-le-cercueil — 06/09/2021
Spare me.
# 🚗 - AWTWB
—------------- 20 September, 2021 —-------------
Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) [@shepardlove] — Today at 5:30 PM
@channel ALL OF YOU FUCKERS SEND ME YOUR CHARACTER SHEETS
:sadcowboy:
Token Straight [@pennyforyourthoughts] — Today at 5:30 PM
No ❤️
Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) — Today at 5:30 PM
You are literally sitting next to me
monsieur-le-cercueil — Today at 5:32 PM
Draft version
[tyrannusgrimm.pdf]
Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) — Today at 5:32 PM
TYRANNUS
Don’t take this the wrong way, but he’s *sexy*
monsieur-le-cercueil — Today at 5:32 PM
It was my grandfather’s name.
Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) — Today at 5:32 PM
I am not sure how to respond to that
Token Straight — Today at 5:33 PM
Shep!
monsieur-le-cercueil — Today at 5:33 PM
No, he’s right. Tyrannus (the character) is most definitely sexy.
no thots only scones [@sourcherryscone] — Today at 5:34 PM
oh
wow
monsieur-le-cercueil — Today at 5:35 PM
Problem?
no thots only scones — Today at 5:35 PM
no just
it’s nothing
uh
here’s my draft
[snowthepaladin.pdf]
Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) — Today at 5:37 PM
Omg *simon* you didn’t tell me he was gonna be a TIEFLING
A WINGED TIEFLING, NO LESS
@channel poll: are tieflings the sexiest dnd race
monsieur-le-cercueil — Today at 5:37 PM
Absolutely.
Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) — Today at 5:38 PM
That was fast
monsieur-le-cercueil — Today at 5:38 PM
Listen
no thots only scone — Today at 5:38 PM
you think I’m hot mr coffin?
monsieur-le-cercueil — Today at 5:40 PM
Don’t call me that.
I think *tieflings* are hot.
(It’s the tail)
no thots only scone — Today at 5:40 PM
oh my god
Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) — Today at 5:40 PM
No you’re so right about the tail
monsieur-le-cercueil — Today at 5:40 PM
This is D&D, you can’t hold anything I say against me.
no thots only scone — Today at 5:41 PM
i mean
can’t we tho???
Token Straight — Today at 5:42 PM
That’s RICH coming from you, simon
no thots only scone — Today at 5:42 PM
???
Token Straight — Today at 5:43 PM
@monsieur-le-cercueil he thinks goblins are fit.
no thots only scone — Today at 5:43 PM
HEY
Token Straight — Today at 5:43 PM
Am I WRONG
no thots only scone — Today at 5:44 PM
u don’t have to expose me like that!!!
Token Straight — Today at 5:45 PM
But it’s so much fun >:)
monsieur-le-cercueil — Today at 5:46 PM
Vampires and werewolves I can understand. (Mainstream.) But… goblins?
–@monsieur-le-cercueil This is D&D, you can’t hold anything I say against me.
no thots only scone — Today at 5:46 PM
^^^
monsieur-le-cercueil — Today at 5:46 PM
No comment.
Local Horse Girl [@wellbeloved] — Today at 5:48 PM
Hmm, I think elves are the sexiest
Legolas. Arwen
sappho’s platonic bestie [@crunchybutch] — Today at 5:48 PM
elves are too mainstream
you’re all sleeping on aasimar
give me a fallen angel babe any day x
Local Horse Girl — Today at 5:49 PM
Remember that time I almost dyed my hair brown
sappho’s platonic bestie — Today at 5:50 PM
yea, that’s not what I meant
Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) — Today at 5:50 PM
@sappho’s platonic bestie Isn’t your character’s ex-girlfriend in the campaign an aasimar?
sappho’s platonic bestie — Today at 5:50 PM
maybe.
Token Straight — Today at 5:51 PM
should we all change our nicknames to our character names?
Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) — Today at 5:51 PM
Yup good idea!
Snow [@sourcherryscone] — Today at 5:52 PM
done
sappho’s platonic bestie — Today at 5:53 PM
did it work?
Andriel Wisper [@wellbeloved] — Today at 5:53 PM
I’ve got you babe
Brody the Barbarian [@crunchybutch] — Today at 5:54 PM
i changed my profile picture to a goat
Snow — Today at 5:54 PM
brill
Tyrannus Grimm [@monsieur-le-cercueil] — Today at 5:55 PM
Alright, done.
Imagine me looking down my nose at all of you.
Snow — Today at 5:56 PM
are you tall
or mean
or both
Tyrannus Grimm — Today at 5:57 PM
In real life?
Snow — Today at 5:57 PM
no, ur character
i mean
are you?
Tyrannus Grimm — Today at 5:58 PM
I’m 6’1”
I’m only mean when someone deserves it.
My character’s a half-elf, so he’s ✨extra✨ tall.
Snow — Today at 5:59 PM
@Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) are tieflings tall
Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) — Today at 5:59 PM
It depends? Tyrannus has probably got a solid 3 inches on you
Snow — Today at 6:00 PM
damn
just like you-know-who
Peryn Stormchaser [@pennyforyourthoughts] — Today at 6:00 PM
Quota.
Snow — Today at 6:01 PM
this is the FIRST time today!
Peryn Stormchaser — Today at 6:01 PM
You ran out earlier this week 😇
Snow — Today at 6:02 PM
ur a liar penelope
Peryn Stormchaser — Today at 6:02 PM
xx
Tyrannus Grimm — Today at 6:02 PM
Quota?
Snow — Today at 6:02 PM
it’s nothing
Andriel Wisper — Today at 6:03 PM
:eyes: is this about that guy you hate
Snow — Today at 6:04 PM
…no
Brody the Barbarian — Today at 6:04 PM
sounds kinda gay to me
Snow — Today at 6:04 PM
it’s not!!!
Andriel Wisper — Today at 6:04 PM
Keep telling yourself that x
Determined Monsterfucker (the DM) — Today at 6:05 PM
This is dnd, everything’s gay
Token Straight — Today at 6:05 PM
Except me, apparently
[Excerpt from the notebook of Shepard Love]
dramatic-ass character blurbs (what’s an ass character)
Snow, no last name, he’s too cool for that (Simon): A paladin folk hero who saved the world and came back out the other side unharmed—on the outside at least. He served the Oath of Glory, but now that destiny has run its course, he doesn’t know what to do. He wanders, a forgotten hero, a trained killer. Maybe to find a new destiny. Maybe just to pick a fight.
Peryn Stormchaser (Penny): Saved the world along with Snow, but make it less angsty. That is to say, she’s a badass dwarven druid who has mastered the art of keeping Snow (and herself) alive with the most advanced magic for any situation. She’s restless, looking for another adventure, and so has decided to follow him on whatever harebrained scheme this might be—and she’s hoping to learn some curious new magic along the way.
Tyrannus Grimm (B): A half-drow who was bitten by a vampire as a child and was told to take the secret to his grave. He poured everything he had into the study of magic, going on to become a renowned wizard and professor. But his dark secret got out; he was fired and forced to flee. Maybe he’s been avoiding who he is for too long. Maybe the answers lie here.
Andriel Wisper (Agatha) : No one knows she’s a sorcerer, and she’d like it to stay that way. Really what she’d like is one normal day. She’s on the run—from her magic, from her past, from a crazy (dead) ex-boyfriend whose death she feels responsible for. She’s an emo queen who just wants a home, and some peace.
Brody the Barbarian (Niamh): is actually a ranger. And a literal ray of sunshine. She tends goats. She loves her girlfriend. Nothing more to it. :)
#:VC-AWTWB
—------------- 30 September, 2021 —-------------
[Audio Transcript — Today at 6:02 PM]
SHEP: Alright folkaroonies, welcome to session one of Any Way the Wind Blows!
BAZ: Folk…aroonies?
SHEP: I said what I said.
SIMON: Hi! Um, mr coffin—
BAZ: Please don't call me that.
SIMON: Okay, uh, B— your voice sounds really familiar.
BAZ: I can’t imagine why.
SIMON: I mean, we could have met on campus, right?
BAZ: I sincerely doubt it.
PENNY: I think he just sounds posh to be honest.
BAZ: Not entirely wrong either.
SIMON: No, can’t put my finger on it.
BAZ: Take your time.
SHEP: Personally I can’t even tell the difference between all of your accents.
PENNY: They’re massively different! Simon grew up in Lancashire!
SHEP: That word literally means nothing to me!!
AGATHA: Hi, sorry we’re late!
NIAMH: We were… busy.
AGATHA: You don’t have to say it like that.
NIAMH: Let the people believe what they want. It’s more fun.
AGATHA: For the record, Niamh lost her dice under the sofa.
PENNY: Keep telling yourself that.
SIMON: How did I get stuck in a campaign with two couples?
SHEP: I’ve been asking myself the same thing, buddy.
SIMON: You’re part of one of them!
PENNY: Couples are so mushy, it’s really disgusting isn’t it?
SIMON: Penelope.
AGATHA: I don’t know what you’re talking about Si, Niamh and I are just besties.
NIAMH: Yeah.
BAZ: Gods, he’s right. I think we’ve ended up in hell.
AGATHA: That’s homophobic.
BAZ: I’m gay.
NIAMH: Then you’re right at home. I mean, isn’t hell where all the gay people are?
BAZ: …
BAZ: Touché.