Chapter Text
Lenora was boring, but Will decided he was going to write about it anyways. It had only been a week since the move, and three days since Mike had called, but Will already missed him. Granted, Will missed him the instant the car had pulled out of their old driveway in Hawkins. He had left his heart with Mike back in Hawkins, and he intended on making sure it didn’t shrivel. He had hope; his last few interactions with Mike on the day of the move felt different than they had all summer, better, like they were back in the days before everything had happened. Like they were okay again.
But that phone call— something was off again, maybe it was the fact that they were talking over the phone instead of their supercoms, or the fact that, Will at least, was acutely aware that they were thousands of miles away instead of just a few, but Mike seemed off again. It was as if he had put up a wall over the phone, a wall designed to keep Will out.
Will wouldn’t have it. He was going to make sure he and Mike stayed close, even though they were farther apart than they had ever been.
He never had quite the way with words, he preferred to communicate through his art. It made more sense to his brain, but Mike didn’t think that way, and sending Mike a painting out of the blue, with no note attached seemed… almost, risky. Like maybe, Mike would see too far. He could filter his words to contain just the right amount of friendly warmth, but he couldn’t filter his art. It always showed his feelings, and Mike was still with El, so there was a sub-zero chance Will could even hint at his feelings for Mike. A letter would have to do.
Hi Mike,
Being in California is odd, but I think I’m starting to like it here. There’s no history attached to anything, and it feels freeing. I loved it in Hawkins, but it’s nice to just be the new kid and not the Zombie-Possesed-Weirdo Kid.
El and I are trying to adjust to our new school, but it’s weird without you, or Dustin, or Lucas, or Max. High school is really weird. You’ll have to tell me all about Hawkins High, I want to know everything.
Lenora is kind of boring, though. There’s not much for El and I to do, at least not until we meet some more people. There’s a roller rink that looks like it could be fun if there weren’t so many people there. You know how large crowds make me anxious.
It’s weird writing you a letter. I feel like I’m having half a conversation, without knowing your responses. I prefer using our supercoms.
Anyways, mom’s new job is really nice, she gets to work from home, so Jonathan gets the car. He usually drives us to school. He met this kid a few days ago, he seems nice, maybe not Jonathan’s usual friend-type, but nothing here feels normal, so that tracks.
Have you guys found a new party yet? I know playing with three sucks, and there’s no way Max agreed to play. I hope whoever you’re playing with now is as good of a storyteller as you are. Your campaigns are always my favorite.
I’ll let you get back to whatever you were doing before you opened this. I’ll talk to you soon.
From,
Will Byers
Will stared at the letter, debating erasing the part about Mike’s campaigns being his favorite. He didn’t want to come off too affectionate, especially since Mike seemed off, but, then again, Will had always made casual mentions of things he likes about Mike. Mike had done that too, before.
The two of them used to be so- unfiltered- with each other. They didn’t have to worry about how weird or crazy they sounded, because they were MikeandWill, and they were going to go crazy together. They had a mutual understanding that nothing was too crazy for the other to hear about. They used to spend every waking second they could together.
Then El came back. And El took over Mike’s world. Don’t get him wrong, Will loved El, they were stepsiblings. But he couldn’t help but feel a twang of pain when she talked about Mike. It wasn’t fair to either of them, but Will couldn’t help it. He had been feeling this way about Mike for way too long for his brain to give it up.
His face fell and he absentmindedly folded the letter into an envelope. He would mail it the next day after school.
He felt the familiar pain deep in his core. Every time he thought about how good things used to be, it was like he was suddenly in Mike’s garage all over again. He could hear the rain, feel the cool the storm had brought on his legs, he could smell the Indiana air.
It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!
It hit him like a truck every time it slithered its way back into his head. He had to sit down, before he threw up, or passed out, or both. He gripped the edge of his bed like it was the only thing keeping him in reality.
Ever since the Upside Down, his flashbacks had always entailed this level of detail, feeing like he really was back in that moment. And it was never just the Upside Down stuff, it was everything. His dad, the Demogorgon, the Mind Flayer, and that day in Mike’s garage.
Just as his vision was blurring, taking him back to Indiana, El appeared in his doorway. She must have had a sense for this stuff, because she always showed up right as it got bad.
“Will,” she said plainly, that was all he ever needed, a reminder of the real world.
She crossed the room, sitting next to him.
“I’m going to grab your hand now, okay?” it wasn’t a question, more so a warning. She pried his hand from the duvet, holding it over her chest and over-exaggerating her breathing. Will stared at her, trying to copy her breathing. This had happened often enough since she moved in with the Byers that she had already learned exactly how to calm Will down.
“What are you feeling?”
“Do you ever think about someone and then relive everything that happened with them?” she nodded, looking at the floor.
That’s all they said about Will’s flashback, but that’s all either of them wanted to say. Will couldn’t talk about Mike to her, and he knew El was thinking about Hopper, and she didn’t want to talk about him.
Instead, Will taught her how to mix paints correctly to get the color she wanted.
~
Will saw the discarded letter on his floor before going to bed that night. Picking it up, it felt heavier than a letter was supposed to, but that was because he couldn’t get Mike out of his head. He set it on his nightstand, falling into bed, just to lie awake for hours, staring at the ceiling, thinking about how the pain had never really subsided.
Then, he was back in the garage. Mike was shouting again, and all Will was able to do was stare at the eyes that he loved so much, as they shone with nothing but malice toward him.
“ Of course you didn’t expect us to get girlfriends, ” Mike’s voice dripped with what could only be described as hatred. Hatred directed at Will.
“Your dad called. We know what you are,” his face twisted into a wicked smile,!like he was savoring Will’s torment.
“ You’re a dirty queer, ” Mike laughed, filled with venom, “ a little faggot, ” his face began to melt, turning into the face of Lonnie, “ a fairy trying to spread his fairy disease to good little normal boys ,”
The face elongated again, giant black legs spurting out of the back, lifting the figure into the air. Will could only stare as the creature, the Mind Flayer, lifted into the red, flashing sky. The Wheeler’s garage had vanished, and now they were standing in the Upside Down again. Will was alone again, and he would die, be crushed to bits by the Mind Flayer.
Then, he woke up.
He was still in Lenora, still in his bed, the duvet kicked to the floor.
He got up, only making it to the garbage basket in the corner of the room before heaving up his dinner.
~
He barely touched his breakfast that morning, his mom eyeing him warily. He hated trying to eat after an especially bad night, it just made him feel more sick.
He knew his mom would try to get El out of the room so she could talk to him about it, so he excused himself to go wake Jonathan before she could ask El to. He felt her gaze on him as he walked away, but he didn’t have the energy to even try to talk about it right now.
~
Focusing on school turned out to be difficult when you were both sleep deprived and depressed, Will found out that day. He couldn’t concentrate in any of his classes, even the drawing class he had signed up for. It was as if the information he was given was pressed through a cheese grater before entering his brain, all jumbled and shredded.
He spent his lunch sitting alone again, El was still on her quest to find someone to be friends with them, but Will had given up already. He liked being alone, it was easier to think when there weren't other people talking around him.
After school, Jonathan took them to the post office. El held two envelopes, one decorated with hearts, the other, plain white. One for Mike, the other most likely for Max. Will held three, one for Lucas, one for Dustin (both of which he had written instead of doing school work that day), and one for Mike. All he had to do now was wait.
~
A week passed. Jonathan got a letter and three phone calls from Nancy. El got a letter back from Mike. Will got nothing. Mike had even neglected to talk to him during the call he had made to the Byers house that weekend.
That wasn’t true, Will got letters back from Dustin and Lucas, he had even gotten a Polaroid from Dustin, a picture of the new contraption he was working on. There was a whole page of the accompanying letter breaking down how it worked, a very Dustin move.
But nothing from Mike.
It wasn’t like Mike didn’t get the letter, he had sent a letter back to El, so he must have gotten the letters.
Maybe it just got lost in the mail, he thought, trying to calm himself down, that happens all the time.
Jonathan was taking El back to the post office the next day, he would just tag along and send another letter.
Another week passed. Another letter to Mike, another week without mail for Will. He was starting to think it was a pattern now, but he had to put in the effort, he had to try.
But, another week passed, and another, and another. Each week both he and El sent a letter to Mike, and each week only El got a letter back. Each week, El talked to Mike for hours on the phone, and Will would watch from the living room, pretending to watch TV, hoping El would call him over to talk to Mike. But she never did, at the end of their call, she just giggled an “I love you,” and hung up.
Will stopped sending letters after two months.