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It only took seven years. Seven years to return to Kunugigaoka Junior High after graduation. Nagisa Shiota isn’t the type to hold on to the past, but something about the reunion the rest of his former classmates had planned just didn’t feel right. Nagisa doesn’t have anything against Kunugigaoka—as a matter of fact, he considers his time there, particularly his third year, some of the best times of his life.
Of course, Nagisa’s third year of junior high school was also the year the world nearly ended; the year his class was burdened with the task of saving the world.
It was pure luck that his first day of his new teaching job happened to be the same day the former End Class of Kunugigaoka planned to return to the old campus. But still, Nagisa found himself trudging up the mountain a few days before everyone planned to show up. Maybe it was just nostalgia.
Apparently, Nagisa wasn’t the only one who had that idea. Karma Akabane, Nagisa’s oldest friend and another former student of Class 3E, had also made the journey up the mountain, and was already wandering about the school building when Nagisa arrived. The two spent the day reminiscing and talking about where everyone from class ended up, and were just leaving the campus when a memory that had been suppressed for nearly a decade popped into Nagisa’s head.
“Hey Karma, do you remember… gosh, what was his name… Takaoka?”
Karma thought for a moment before his eyes lit up with recognition. “Wait, yeah. Holy crap, I almost forgot about him!”
Nagisa rolled his eyes, smiling a little. “Well, you did ditch class the day he showed up to teach phys-ed."
“That’s right. I do remember hearing all about how he got his ass handed to him by Mr. Karasuma, though.”
“Um, no, I was the one who actually shut him down.”
“Yeah, yeah, all right,” Karma waved him off, “you and your little sixth sense.”
“Come on, I never called it that,” said Nagisa.
Karma held back a laugh. “I know. Boy, I used to be so envious of that raw talent of yours.” He paused. “Speaking of Mr. Karasuma, did you hear that he and Ms. Jelabitch finally tied the knot?”
“Karma, I–” Nagisa shook his head, “I can’t believe you still call her that!”
“It’d be weird if we stopped after all this time. Apparently Isogai ran into the two of them recently, and she freaked out when he called her “Mrs. Karasuma”— said it made her feel like an old lady.”
“You know, I was surprised to hear that they didn’t end up having a big wedding, especially considering how much she used to gush about things like that. I guess when you love someone as much as those two love each other, none of that stuff matters anymore.”
“Besides, we both know Mr. Karasuma wouldn’t be caught dead in a tuxedo or boutonniere.”
“Very true.”
The sky, which had been filling up with dark clouds since the two descended the mountain, finally split open, unleashing a violent downpour. Karma and Nagisa gasped, darting underneath the awning of a nearby shop.
Karma peeked out from under the awning to catch a quick glimpse of the sky. “Oh man, that came out of nowhere!”
The two huddled closer together under the awning, but jumped apart after their hands brushed up against one another’s. After mumbling some non-committal noise to himself, Nagisa stepped out from underneath the awning.
“It’s only a couple more blocks to my place if you don’t mind walking a little longer.”
Karna followed close behind. “Yeah, sure, it’s no big.”
The two walked for about another minute in silence, neither making eye contact with the other.
Nagisa’s mind wandered back to what he had said earlier about Mr. Karasuma and Ms. Jelavic— “I guess when you love someone as much as those two love each other, none of that stuff matters anymore.”
He flinched a little as the rain started to pelt down harder.
Karma frowned a little, sensing Nagisa’s discomfort—internally contemplating whether or not to give Nagisa his jacket.
The silence was starting to become more than a little awkward.
“So-oo…” Karma began, trying to start a conversation.
Nagisa understood right away, but still wasn’t sure what to say. “Right. Uh…”
“A lot of memories, huh?” Karma said quickly, desperate to put an end to the tension in the air. Luckily, it was just the right thing.
“Uh-huh, definitely,” replied Nagisa, nodding. “Sometimes I don’t want to think about it—‘cause it… it’s kinda painful. But today… it was better.”
“I get that. It’s always better when I’m not alone; when there’s somebody who was there who can relate.”
I had no idea Karma felt that way. Figure the rest of the class does too. It’s a little selfish, but I guess I thought I was the only one. After all, I was the one who…
Nagisa swallowed hard, trying to force back tears, but was interrupted when a sharp gust of wind swept his hat into the air. Before he had a chance to react, Karma reached over and snatched it back before it could blow out of reach.
Karma held the hat out in front of him, smirking as he turned it on its side. “Now that I’m really lookin’ at it, this hat just keeps getting stupider and stupider.”
He plopped it back on top of Nagisa’s now soaked mop of hair, nudging his shoulder playfully.
Nagisa adjusted it in place, blushing a little. “I think it looks cool! Completes the look, y’know?”
“Whatever you say,” Karma said with a laugh. “I mean, if you want to look like a little farm boy that belongs in the last century, that’s your call.”
“Wow, okay.”
They both fell silent again, and a few more rather awkward moments passed. As the two reached a corner, Nagisa, unable to ignore the chills surging through his body any longer, briskly turned his head away from Karma and sneezed.
“Bless ya,” Karma offered indifferently.
“Heh. Thanks,” Nagisa replied, sniffling.
“You cold?”
Nagisa planned to deny it, but before he could think up a believable excuse, another sneeze answered Karma’s question for him. “A little,” he admitted anyway.
Karma paused for a moment before finally shrugging his jacket off his shoulders and draping it over Nagisa’s. “Here.”
“Wait, what?” Nagisa went bright red, trying to hand it back. “What about you? It’s still raining!”
Karma shook his head. “I’ll be alright; you just hold onto it for now.”
Nagisa nodded sheepishly, shifting his eyes down to the raindrops bouncing off the sidewalk.
Sighing deeply, Karma followed Nagisa’s gaze. “By the way, how’s Kayano?” He blurted.
Nagisa furrowed his brow. Where’d that come from? He wrung his hands while stuttering, “I… I don’t know, actually. We haven’t hung out in a while.”
“Well, you do talk, don’t you?”
Taken aback by Karma’s almost accusatory tone, Nagisa managed a, “not as much as we used to,” in a barely audible whisper. “Why do you ask?”
“… no reason.” Karma folded his arms, blushing furiously.
Nagisa shut his eyes for a moment, trying to find the space in his mind where Karma’s behavior made any sense. He couldn’t find it, but whatever this was couldn’t continue. It was just too weird. Then again, it’s entirely possible that…
“K-Karma?”
Karma’s expression softened after hearing the twinge of nervousness in Nagisa’s voice. He slowly looked up, drawing in a deep breath. “What is it?”
Heat creeping up the back of his neck, Nagisa cleared his throat. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Yeah, shoot.”
Nagisa clutched the edges of Karma’s jacket tightly. “Were you… are you jealous of Kayano?”
Karma didn’t respond.
Nagisa sighed. “Karma…”
“Of course not.” Karma refused to look Nagisa in the eye. “Do you even hear yourself? Me? Jealous of her?”
“I kissed her,” Nagisa said matter-of-factly.
“That… that was a long time ago,” Karma scoffed. “Besides, you said that it was just to save her.”
“But you didn’t like it.”
“She really liked you, you know that?” Karma snapped. His voice grew softer as he mumbled, “Probably still does.”
“I mean, I think I kind of knew. I just didn’t know how to tell her that I didn’t feel–” Nagisa sighed, “I didn’t feel the same way.”
Karma tilted his head to one side. “You didn’t?”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Huh. Okay.”
“‘s why I felt so bad about kissing her.”
“No, yeah, that… that makes sense.”
Nagisa shifted awkwardly under Karma’s jacket. “If you don’t mind my asking, whatever happened between you and Okuda? Didn’t you say that you liked her?”
“Yeah, I did. I think it was when we went on that class trip.” Karma whistled. “Man, that takes me back.”
“I meant… I think what I was trying to say is…”
“I know, I know. You want to know if anything ever came of it. Sorry to disappoint, but no. I don’t think I ever really liked her, now that I really think about it.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, seriously. I remember somebody asking all us guys what girl in our class we’d wanna go out with, and I said if I had to choose one, it’d be her.”
“That was some trip, wasn’t it?” Nagisa said with an unnaturally wide smile, desperately trying to change the subject. Even though he was the one who brought it up, it felt strange hearing Karma talk about having crushes back in school. It was almost as if the two had reverted back to their younger selves, arguing like schoolboys over who liked who and whatnot.
“Sure was.”
Karma’s answer snapped Nagisa back to reality, and he quickly thought of a response before his absentmindedness became too obvious. “Can you believe that it wasn’t even the craziest thing that we went through?”
Karma winced. “Yeah. Even so, that trip was wild. If you tell anybody, I’m gonna deny it, but I was actually kinda worried when Kayano and Kanzaki got kidnapped.”
I always knew you had a soft side to you, Karma, Nagisa mused, smiling softly to himself. Some signal in his head made him start to reach for Karma’s hand, but he ended up having to thrust his face into his sleeve to cover yet another sneeze.
Karma inched a little closer to Nagisa and pulled his jacket tighter around his frame, which honestly hadn’t changed very much since their time at Kunugigaoka.
“You know they come in threes, right?”
Nagisa gave him a look. “Not funny.” He shrunk further into the jacket.
“Yeah, I knew it was bad just as soon as it came out of my mouth.” Karma’s smile dropped as he noticed Nagisa shivering. “You okay?”
“Uh-huh. I’m fine. Still a little cold, though. I–” He turned away from Karma and sneezed again. “Sorry.”
As quickly as it vanished, Karma’s signature evil grin reappeared. “Heh.”
“What?”
“You are seriously dripping.” He yanked a tissue from his pocket and held it out for Nagisa, flourishing his usual devilish charm.
Nagisa rolled his eyes and accepted it. “Just… just stop.”
After a long pause, Karma drew in a deep breath. “Kiss me.”
“What?!” Nagisa choked.
Karma exhaled deeply, and started to rock back and forth on his heels. “I like you, Nagisa. I always have. Ever since that day we went shopping for comics together in first year.”
Nagisa didn’t know what to say. That was certainly a long time to like someone. Flustered, he struggled to string together a coherent reply. “I… I… I can’t kiss you, Karma.”
“Really? Why not?” Karma shrugged.
“In case you couldn’t tell from the…” Nagisa gestured up and down, “… all of me, I don’t think I should be kissing anyone right now.”
“Oh please, that’s the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard.”
“Seriously, Karma, I don’t want to give you my—oh, that’s right. How could I forget? Idiots don’t catch colds.”
“Come now, Nagisa, don’t be bitter.”
“I’m not bitter! I’m just… just–”
“Scared?” Round blue eyes met adventurous red ones; each pair seeming to radiate electricity off of the other.
Karma glanced around before grabbing Nagisa’s hand and pulling him off to the side, onto a narrow back street.
“There. Now we’re alone.”
“Karma, what are we doing?” Nagisa asked in a whisper.
“You tell me,” his fiery partner replied, not breaking eye contact for even a moment.
“I… I can’t kiss you,” Nagisa repeated.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Karma looked away. Nagisa only managed to see his expression for a split second, but it was clear that the redhead was disappointed.
“Am I reading this wrong? Do… Do you not like me?”
Nagisa panicked. “No, I do!”
Karma froze. “Wait, for real?”
Just as the confession slipped out, Nagisa was overwhelmed with warmth. He silently hoped that it was just a fever, because if it wasn’t…
How long have I had such strong feelings for Karma? He frantically combed through sections of his mind, but drew a blank. Were the signs always there?
“Hello? Earth to Nagisa!” Karma sang, waving a hand in front of his face. “Hey!” He nudged Nagisa a little. “Did you hear what you just said?”
Nagisa met Karma’s gaze. “I said… I said that I like you.”
Genuine hope lit up Karma’s face, and Nagisa couldn’t help but blush.
“You mean it?”
“… uh-huh. I really, really like you, Karma. I’m just… I don’t remember how. How to kiss somebody.”
“You don’t remember how? Gimme a break!”
Karma slowly leaned in, gently pecking Nagisa on the lips. After a second, Nagisa kissed back.
“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”
“Me too.”
Just as Karma was about to lean in for another hit, Nagisa scooted backwards.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Karma asked.
For some reason, Nagisa couldn’t catch his breath. “It’s just… I… being here with you… I don’t know why… but I can’t help but think… What do you think he’d say right about now?”
Karma’s eyes were blank. “What who would say?”
The protective warmth that surrounded Nagisa began to dissipate, the cold winds chilling his body once again.
“Nagisa, who are you talking about?” Karma echoed.
“Koro Sensei.”
Karma nodded slowly. “Well, probably nothing. He… he’d probably be hiding somewhere, snapping pictures or something. Doing that ridiculous laugh of his.”
“D’you remember when he tried to get everybody in the class to pair off during our summer holiday?” Nagisa said suddenly, striving to distract from the tears he felt welling up.
“Oh yeah, I do. We were still in Okinawa, and he set up that crazy courage test. It actually might have worked if he had been paying attention and put the two of us together.”
Nagisa started to respond, but stopped short, immobilized by the memories of that special year flooding back into his mind. Memories of their special teacher. Of Koro Sensei.
He choked back a sob. “S-sorry.”
Karma pulled Nagisa into a tight embrace, a little shocked by his outburst. They were at Kunugigaoka all day, talking and reminiscing, so why was Nagisa getting all worked up now?
Unable to stop the tears from falling any longer, Nagisa allowed himself to start crying. “I miss him.”
“Me, too,” Karma agreed, trying and failing to stop himself from getting emotional.
Nagisa buried his face in Karma’s chest. “And it was m-me. I was the one who…”
Karma’s mind raced back to that night, the night the young assassins of Class 3E finally liquidated their target.
He remembered the feeling of his stomach dropping at Nagisa’s scream, and watching as the knife sliced through the tie, even though he wanted nothing more than to look away.
He remembered the terrible silence before their teacher started to slowly ebb away, and he remembered crying. Not something he did often, but in that moment, it was impossible not to.
It was only a few minutes, but it felt like hours had passed before anyone moved, everyone still gripping the dirt as though the tentacles were still there.
Isogai and Kataoka were the first to leave the schoolyard, running over to comfort Professor Bitch, who was sobbing in Mr. Karasuma’s arms.
Several others followed, some joining the teachers while others waited by the building’s entrance.
Terasaka was the first to ask if The Reaper 2.0 and “Evil Science Freak” were actually dead, and Itona pointed out that the government’s barrier melted them due to their altered DNA.
Kayano whispered something about Koro Sensei and Miss Yukimura finally getting to be together, which only made Okuda cry harder. Karma remembered watching Sugino and Kanzaki race over to join the two of them in a group hug.
He also remembered that their group was the last one to return to the school building, leaving Karma alone with Nagisa, who was still gripping his knife and rocking with uncontrollable sobs and wails.
Helplessness. Karma had never felt it before, but not knowing what to say or how to help was scarier than any opponent he had ever faced.
After a moment, Nagisa seemed to sense his presence, and turned to look, his breathing so ragged it sounded like he was drowning.
Karma couldn’t say anything; he instead scooted along on the ground until he was close enough to let Nagisa fall into his arms.
“I… I did it,” Nagisa had managed between sobs.
“You did,” Karma had responded. “I’m proud of you. Of all of us. We did the right thing.”
“Nobody… will… ever… know… it… was… us.”
Karma squeezed Nagisa tighter. “No, they won’t. I think it’s better in the long term that the government will take credit—as long as they don’t cheat us out of our rightfully earned cash. Otherwise, it’ll follow us forever.”
Karma remembered sitting there a little while longer before Mr. Karasuma came down to bring them inside.
He remembered being right about the government needing to take credit for the assasination in order to protect the students, and how quickly the protests of Okajima and Terasaka were shut down.
He remembered not taking his eyes off Nagisa even once, unfamiliar with the overwhelming tightness in his chest. Of course, everyone was worried about everyone, but something was different. The way he felt when he watched Nagisa then was not unlike what he’s feeling right now.
Karma knew it then, and knew it even better now. Nagisa needs him.
“Nagisa,” he whispered, hugging him tighter, “it’s okay. It’s okay.”
Nagisa cried harder, gripping onto Karma’s shirt as he tried to stabilize his breathing. “I… I killed him,” he gasped. “I k-killed him, Karma!”
Karma grabbed Nagisa by the shoulders, gently pulling him back. “Hey, hey, don’t say that. We all decided to do it as a class. Besides, even if we didn’t do anything, the laser would have gone off and… zapped him anyway. Now, snap out of it, alright?”
“Exactly! We didn’t have to kill him, but we did it anyway! I did it anyway! I killed him!”
“Nagisa, we had been training all year to assassinate him. It was our job; what we were supposed to do.”
“But we could have saved him,” Nagisa sobbed. “We could have and we didn’t.”
Karma’s frustration exploded. “Are you trying to tell me that you regret it?”
Nagisa shook his head.
“Well then, snap out of it! Please!” Karma didn’t know it, but tears had started to stream down his cheeks as well.
Nagisa did notice, however, and instantly took a step back, his own hysterics coming to an abrupt halt. “Karma, you’re crying.”
“Huh. I guess I am.” Karma scrubbed his face dry and flashed a half smile, but that only seemed to upset Nagisa even more. “No, no, no. Don’t start that again. Just breathe.” He demonstrated taking a deep breath, and motioned for Nagisa to do the same. “Go on, do it.”
Nagisa complied, and took in a long, shuddering breath. He peeled his hat off and held it close to his chest. “Okay.”
Karma tousled Nagisa’s hair. “You good now?”
Nagisa nodded, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. Did I… I didn’t freak you out, did I?”
“Yeah, a little,” Karma confessed, chuckling softly.
“I’m sorry.”
“Nagisa, listen to me. It’s okay. I think we both just got a little caught up in the memories, is all. Now, stop apologizing, okay?”
“Okay.”
The pair resumed walking, this time, the silence comforting and companionable instead of awkward.
“You know what I think he’d say?” Karma remarked, “He’d say your hat’s ridiculous.”
“For real?” Nagisa wiped away a stray tear. “No, I think he would have loved it.”
“You do share similar tastes in clothing,” Karma pointed out. “And they’re both terrible.” He brushed his bangs out of the way before bending over and planting a kiss on Nagisa’s warm and sweaty forehead. He then swiped the hat from Nagisa’s grasp and placed it back on his head for a second time that evening.
“Why’d you have to go and get so tall, Karma?” Nagisa complained. “And why did I only grow a couple of centimeters?”
Karma cackled, taking on a superhero-like stance. “It’s just the natural order of things. I guess the universe just wanted you to be a pipsqueak forever!”
“No fair.” Nagisa motioned for Karma to bend over, so he could return the forehead kiss. “See? Am I going to have to do that every time I want to kiss you?”
Karma was excited to reply with another snarky insult, but forgot it as soon as he noticed that Nagisa had started to shiver again. He draped an arm around him, leaning over on his shoulder. “Aw.”
“Aw?
“Yes, aw. You look so miserable!” said Karma, softly poking Nagisa’s cheek. “Come on, feel better already!”
Nagisa sighed. “I’ll try.” He sniffled. “Ugh, I shouldn’t have cried. Do I sound weird?”
“Little bit.”
“Great.”
Nagisa shook Karma off as the two approached a crosswalk. Shielding his face from the rain, he leaned backwards to study the street signs.
Karma did the same. “What are we looking at?”
“There it is,” said Nagisa, pointing at an apartment complex across the street. “My place is right over there.”
“Damn, the whole building? Nice, putting your bounty to good use.”
Nagisa punched him softly on the arm. “Apartment 2B.”
Karma returned the punch. “I know, Nagi.”
After waiting for the traffic light to change, they crossed the street and hurried up the stairs of Nagisa’s apartment building, stopping a few feet from the door.
“So,” began Nagisa, sighing, “What now?”
Karma ran his fingers through his hair. “Not sure. A lot happened between us.”
“Yeah. Too much for us to go back to just being former classmates. Besides, I’ll miss you too much.”
“Nagisa,” Karma whined, pulling him close again. “You’re such a sap.”
“But?”
“You're not wrong. We ought to make this a regular thing. Not getting caught in the rain or you having a mental breakdown, of course. I mean, like, us."
Nagisa scratched his head. “Us?”
“Yup.”
“Us. Okay. So, what does that mean, exactly? What are we? Not friends. What do you call really good friends who…?”
“Occasionally do this?” Karma gave Nagisa a quick peck. “I believe the proper term is boyfriends.”
Boyfriends. It sure sounded right. It sounded wonderful. Nonetheless, Nagisa’s first instinct was to question it.
“You want to… with me? You want to be my boyfriend?”
Karma rolled his eyes. “Yes, Nagisa.”
“You’re serious?”
“One-hundred-percent. Is that so hard for you to believe?”
Nagisa didn’t really have an answer to that. It was so strange, living out something he’d only ever imagined.
“I guess. I just, I didn’t realize it until just now, but when we were in school, I used to think about being your boyfriend sometimes. I don’t think I knew the word for it, but I remember wanting you to ask me out. Is that creepy?”
“Of course, not!” Karma laughed. “What if I told you that I used to wonder the same thing?”
Nagisa wished he could just stay there forever in Karma’s arms, where it was warm and safe. Even though the two were still outside, still getting drenched by the unrelenting storm, Nagisa was perfectly happy. Then, he remembered. There was no denying that he and Karma would be incredible boyfriends, but they both had jobs, lives outside of each other.
“Karma,” Nagisa tried, but stopped short after realizing that he didn’t mean what he was about to say. He wanted to be with Karma, even if it meant not getting to see him all the time. That’s what being boyfriends meant. At least, that’s what he thought it meant. Karma was his first one, after all.
“I get it,” Karma interrupted Nagisa’s inner monologue. “I know we’re both really busy, but we’ll make time to see each other. Clearly, we don’t live too far from one another considering we were both able to walk back to Kunugigaoka.”
“That’s true.”
Karma released Nagisa from their embrace, turning around to look at the sky. “Looks like it’s starting to get dark.”
“Well, then, I guess this is goodbye for now,” said Nagisa, reaching out to give Karma a hug farewell, but stopped when he didn’t move.
“You know, not necessarily.”
“What do you mean?”
“I dunno,” said Karma, stretching his arms over his head. “D’you think I could stick around for a while? Like here, I mean?”
“Stay? With me?”
“Well, sure.” Karma smiled. “At least until you feel a little better.”
Nagisa wanted nothing more, but the logical argument against it was too strong.
“Karma, no. It’s a really nice gesture, but I can’t. I already kissed you, like, repeatedly. If you stay here, you’re just asking to get my cold.”
“I don’t get colds.”
“Karma, listen to me. I start my teaching job in two days. I really should—”
“You really should have someone there to take care of you so you’re in perfect shape for your class on Monday.”
“Don’t you have work?”
“Not on the weekend. Just quit being so stubborn and let me do this for you, all right?”
Unbelievable. Karma had won. Nagisa wasn’t sure how he did it, but there was no point in going back and forth about it any more.
“Well, Nagisa?”
“That’s really sweet of you. I don’t even know what… what to say.”
Karma sighed. “Don’t say anything.” He waited for Nagisa to unlock and open the door before pushing him through. “Just get out of the rain before I kick. your. ass.”
Nagisa smiled to himself. Never change, Karma.