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Jisung had a list of things he wasn't supposed to do. It wasn't very long.
- Drink (it messed with his anxiety medication).
- Do all his shopping online (there had been one too many hilarious sizing mixups).
- Fall in love with Minho (Oops).
Two out of three wasn't bad, he supposed, but he desperately wished he was nursing a hangover in too-small pants instead of avoiding his best friend because it was getting harder and harder to mask his crush. He kicked his heel against his bed in frustration as he heard laughter echoing down the hall from the living room. They'd all gathered in one dorm for a movie night. The extra space was nice, but they all agreed (though Hyunjin would deny it until the day he died) that they sometimes missed piling on top of each other and watching movies for half the night. Jisung had actually looked forward to being social for once, but when they'd all gathered and he ended up next to Minho, their thighs pressed against each other and both of them getting jostled against each other as the other guys play fought around them, he felt like his heart would beat out of his chest. Suddenly, he was hyper-aware of Minho's presence - his thigh pressed against Jisung's, his quiet laughter somehow louder than the chaos around them, his faux-cranky demeanor a familiar aura that somehow didn't extend to Jisung.
It had been too much. The increased heart rate had become too close to a panic attack, and Jisung couldn't breathe. He was sure he'd explode if Minho touched him one more time, and that wasn't fair to him. So he'd stood abruptly, mumbling something about the bathroom, and raced down the hall to his room. He collapsed onto his bed and fought back tears, wondering why he couldn't just be normal. Nobody with the smallest speck of sense fell for their best friend, who also happened to be their coworker. And dance coach. And just about everything else in Jisung's life, since it seemed he and Minho were meant to be continually intertwined.
A soft knock sounded at the door.
"Jisungie?" Minho's voice was soft.
Fuck.
"What's up?" Jisung asked, trying to keep his tone light.
"You okay?"
"Mm hmm." There was no way he'd tell Minho the truth.
"Can I come in?"
"Why?" He couldn't be seen like this.
"Because I know when you're lying, dumbass."
Fucking Minho.
"You might as well," Jisung said with a sigh.
The door opened and closed again softly. Jisung felt the bed shift beside him and he peeked out from behind his arm he'd thrown over his eyes. Minho was sitting beside him, one leg pulled up and resting on the bed. When he ran his hand lightly along Jisung's arm, Jisung flinched slightly.
"What's going on?" Minho asked softly.
"Nothing," Jisung said.
"Oh, would you stop with the lies, Jisung? Come on. You know perfectly well I know you better than that. And besides, you can tell me anything." Minho's voice held a note of hurt in the last sentence, as though he thought Jisung didn't trust him.
"I know I can…usually." Jisung rolled over to face Minho, his arm finally dropping from his eyes. "But this…"
"Just spit it out, Ji. You're making me anxious."
"I'm in love with you, okay?" The words bubbled out before Jisung could stop them, and he rolled onto his stomach to bury his face in his pillow. He felt the bed vibrate with Minho's chuckle, and his eyes filled with tears. He knew he'd fucked it up.
The bed shifted, and suddenly arms were wrapped around Jisung's waist, pulling him close.
"Don't you know how much I love you?" Minho's voice ghosted over Jisung's ear, his hot breath contrasting with the chills that ran down Jisung's spine. "You never had to hide this from me. I wish you hadn't."
Jisung turned his head slightly, one eye peeking out to see Minho right next to him, a fond you're an idiot smile on his face.
"But the band…the company."
"The guys don't give a shit. Chan knows how I feel. He'll help protect us from the company. And you know the others better than that. Hell, Felix will probably throw a party."
Han couldn't help but laugh at the thought, his friend instantly running to the kitchen to start baking over something as silly as this. Still in Minho's hold, he rolled to his side.
"So what now, then?" he asked softly. "You know my big, life-altering secret. I have a big gay crush on you, Lee Minho."
Minho ran his thumb lightly under Jisung's eye, wiping away a few stray tears he found there.
"Now," he said, "you go into the bathroom and wash your face. And then, I hold your hand, and we go out there and eat snacks and watch a movie and I don't let you go the entire time. And if anyone says anything, I smack them."
Jisung giggled. "No butts."
"Only yours," Minho said with a wink.
"Deal." Jisung wiped the last of the dampness from his cheeks with a balled-up fist and began to sit up, falling back to the bed when he realized Minho was still holding him around his waist.
"What is it?" he asked, suddenly feeling shy under Minho's gaze.
"Nothing," Minho said. He lifted one hand from Jisung's waist and placed it on the back of his head, pulling him closer and kissing him softly. "Just don't hide from me anymore, please. I was really worried about you."
Jisung's eyes began to fill with tears again and he blinked them away quickly as he shook his head. "No more hiding," he said softly, leaning forward to kiss Minho's cheek before rolling away to climb off the other side of the bed and wash up.
Ten minutes later, fingers twined, they re-entered the living room.
"God, finally," Seungmin said. "You two have been disgusting for months. It's only going to get worse, isn't it?"
Minho grabbed a pillow and tossed it directly at the younger man's face before sitting on the floor in front of the couch and pulling Jisung down onto his lap.
"Get used to it, little puppy," he said, laughing.
Jisung settled back into Minho's arms, smiling at the good-natured teasing coming from his members. His family. For the first time that evening, his chest felt light, and for the first time in his life, he felt free. Tomorrow's challenges could wait, he decided as he grabbed a bowl of popcorn and set it on his lap.