Chapter Text
Anthony Bridgerton would do anything for duty, for honour, for his family. He had,always. But never did he think that he would do anything for love, not the love for his family, but the love for a woman. If someone had told him just that at the beginning of the season he would have laughed, love was the last thing he sought. But love has a way with people. It doesn't come expectedly or promptly. It comes unexpectedly, like a thief at night, crawling it's way through, you often only notice it after the damage is done.So love came for Lord Bridgerton also. Who would have thought. That was why he was sitting in the garden of Aubrey hall, in a loose white shirt and bottoms, an attire that was very foreign to him, for a ceremony that was very foreign to him too.
It was an auspicious and happy day, atleast for some people,very few people. If giving yourself,your entire life away for a person whom you loved so much was a happy thing then Anthony would certainly be the happiest man. But he was not, not when his heart was also involved. It was utter torture,he wouldn't even wish it upon his worst enemy he thought, when the person in question was just a few steps away,yet not close enough.
Kate was standing just a few steps away, glorious and beautiful in a yellow gown, hair half down, even the sun would be put to shame,he thought. Her smile was so infectious that even Anthony was brought to a smile all the while gloriously crumbling down inside. He took a good look at her. He wanted to take that smiling Kate, tuck her away in a little corner of his heart that no one else had access to, no one will ever have access to. Maybe he'll visit it every once in a while when life gets hard or make a story out of it to tell his grandchildren. But he was sure that there will only be one woman that Anthony Bridgerton ever loved, even when he is six feet underneath the earth, a certain Kate Sharma.If only he was this sure of it before he thought.
Anthony wondered throughout whether the smile on Kate's face was genuine, there was a glint of pain for sure he thought, or he reassured himself. He was not ready to let go of what Kate had said, that what they had was mere passion. Surely it wasn't the case for him. If it was he wouldn't be sitting here next to her sister,his intended. Surely he had thought of ending this farce even before it began and run to Kate and make her his. But he told himself all of this was for Kate, if you loved her you would do it for her, like hell he'll do anything for her. But a part of him also reminded him that Kate didn't want him, atleast not as much he wanted her. All of this was his fault entirely,he ruined everything because of his foolishness. Oh how he wanted to go back and make things right. Lord Anthony Bridgerton was not the one to believe in several lifetimes, oh but how he wished there was another life where he ended up with her.
It was so painful. To know what happiness was, to know what love was and what it meant to be in love was and to go back to zero. To know he could have had everything he wanted and he let his foolishness destroy everything.
He was brought back to reality when he felt something cold and doughy on his cheeks. Mary had started the ceremony. He was barely paying attention.His attention was at it's rightful place. But Anthony Bridgerton was not a cruel man, so he tried hard to pluck his eyes from Kate and place it on Edwina. Atleast one look. To not hurt his betrothed. He looked to his side, Edwina was glowing, a true beauty,he shuddered because he couldn't even muster up a smile at her or could feel anything. His eyes jumped back instantly to where it felt most comfortable,most alive.It was a good thing Kate was leaving for India. Not for his heart, no, he would be heart broken, but for his honour and duty it was good.
His siblings followed with the ceremony,some were happy, some confused, some with a look to kill on their face.To be specific,Daphne. No one saw through him like she did. She wasn't the least bit happy and she wasn't trying to hide it. Anthony feared if she looked at him long enough he will breakdown eventually. He was trying so very had to avoid Daphne's gaze he didn't realise Kate was applying haldi on Edwina then, which made him next. That was when Daphne was suddenly replaced by a familiar figure, too familiar. As if he wasn't in enough pain already. When he met her gaze something inside him came alive. Even his body was tuned to her. The familiar pair of big,brown eyes, the sunlight highlighting the golden specks in them, a dark black ocean forming at it's centre, he wanted to drown in it. He searched for something or anything in it, anything indicating that she was sad too,a blink, a tear, anything, anything to show that she wanted him too. There was nothing. Either Anthony Bridgerton meant nothing to her or she was a brilliant actor. He felt a lump in his throat. He had made a fool of her when he led her on, got close to her, put ideas in her head and then proposed to her sister,right infront of her no less.But at the end he was the fool. A desperate fool in love.
She knelt down infront of him, took a generous amount of haldi and spread it on his cheeks. Her touch burned his skin at the same time soothed him. A small smile formed on her lips. Ofcourse she was happy, or she pretended to be.He savoured the moment. He wanted to live in that moment forever.He almost cried when she took away her hand from his body. She suddenly stood up and went back to Daphne. They talked and smiled. It was so evident, the affection Daphne had for Kate.Daphne knew the responsibilities Anthony had to take up and loved and respected him. She saw the same in Kate too.He beamed at them,they would make a good duo, powerful, resourceful and full of love and respect for each other. They had grown so much close in the last days.He felt his heart sink when he remembered that Kate would never make a sister-in-law for Daphne, atleast not directly.
He occasionally glanced at Edwina, trying to do the fiancee part. He wondered what it would be like if he and Kate were to be married and was having their haldi ceremony. He would never take his eyes off her, he'll be ending up with a spastic neck for sure. It will be more lively, with his and Kate's laughter, Daphne would be beaming, making jokes at his expense and laughing with Kate. Mother will be so happy that he found love. Benedict and Colin will be happy to have someone to irritate Anthony and get away with it.Eloise would be so proud to have her role model as her sister. Fran and Hyacinth would be so happy to have Kate and also to have Newton. Gregory adored Kate so much.But now there's no laughter,just plastered smiles and knowing looks.
He wondered how no one noticed what a farce of a thing this was. Oh how he would give anything in the world for this torture to stop. He can't do anything, he had promised Kate.But somewhere in the back of his mind there was this terrifying thought,that if this farce was stopped and once he bared his heart, will she ever want him back. He was terrified to find out the answer.It was better this way. Living in an illusion that she may have had reciprocated his love.It was better this way he assured himself.
He was brought back from his thoughts when he heard some one yelling Kate's name.His face went from irritation to confusion to abject horror when he saw Kate faint into the hands of Daphne and Eloise. Anthony jumped from where he was seated and sprinted towards Kate,not even thinking twice. He haven't run this fast ever in his life,yet he felt it was not fast enough.The Bridgertons and Sharmas watched in utter bewilderment as he fell into the ground scooped Kate from Daphne's hand and set her into his lap.
"Call the doctor at once!!" He ordered..Panic in his voice.
"Daphne what happened!!?" He yelled...
"It- It was a bee...it stung her!"
Anthony was even more horrified at the word "bee" if that was possible. He felt his world crumbling around him. He took her head in his arms. He missed the gasping of the small crowd and the glares and confused looks sent his way.
"Kate! Kate !..please open your eyes...Kate no-"
"Kate please, please breathe--"
"Kate you can't leave me--"
an unthinkable fate.
"Please God..Kate please open your eyes.."
"Kate please, I'm doing everything as you told me.."
"Please don't die Kate..please..ple--"
Now his breathing had become ragged..he knew what was coming..
It is not far enough.
"Kate ...you-- can't-- possibly --go off... to...far far.. away...where I can't even--follow you!"
"Please..."
It was starting to feel hard to breathe.He took her hand and placed it on his chest and inturn placed his on her's, it was more to calm himself.
It would be as if we never met.
"Please come back."
"Please don't leave me.."
The Bridgertons and Sharmas stood together, eyes wide in shock at the events that was unraveling. The shock on the Bridgertons face was palpable.They have never seen a more unhinged, panicked emotional Anthony ever in their life. It was as if they never knew their own brother well enough. While most of them donned a confused and shocked look only one among understood this miserable stranger infront of them. Daphne. She walked towards him and settled beside him. A hand on his shoulder.
"Anthony, you must breathe, you must be strong." she said. Then she leaned in to whisper in his ear "for Kate" so as others won't hear them.He nodded, tears falling left and right. The site of his face almost broke her.
The footman rushed to their side with the doctor. Anthony eagerly told all the details. The doctor examined the site of the sting.It was swollen and red. He proceeded to give her an injection with some medication for allergy he had told. Anthony looked away when the doctor placed the big needle to her hand. She will just regain consciousness in a while he assured him thoroughly.Daphne felt his tension coming down, but she still hold onto his arms and never left his side.