Chapter Text
'Take this.' said Elrond and handed me a small cup.
I placed the tablet on my tongue with an intention of spitting it out as soon as he left. The first sensation was sweetness and then bitterness came next. In my mouth it felt like wet powder and like very distant childhood memories of eating white chalk. It was dissolving pretty quickly until it became very thin. Tiny grains and particles traveled to every corner of my mouth. This is when my tongue went numb for some reason, I couldn't even feel the air hitting the back of my throat anymore.
'It might make you sleepy in the beginning.' my son continued with a steady voice. 'But it is NOT a sedative.'
He really did put an accent on "not". I would have asked what it was, but he must have sensed that, because he said:
'I gave you a small dose which only promotes sleep and does nothing beyond that, it is only supposed to keep you asleep.'
He stayed with me on my bed and it made me want to tell him to not sit on it. Just to tease him, just to make him uncomfortable. I stayed silent instead chasing the last crumbles of the pill with my tongue and before I realized it was fully dissolved. A chair I sat in was getting softer, my thoughts began to crumble and disappear like the tablet did and also left only the aftertaste of very artificial raspberries and something bitter.
'It's time to sleep, Maglor.' U felt a hand on my arm and another one on my back, they pulled me up and we tiptoed slowly to bed. I hate when he is patronizing like that, but he knows I also need it.
I would write that my legs felt as if they were made of pork jelly, but they didn't feel at all. Elrond stopped next to my bed, I felt my stomach preparing to flip from anxiety.
'Nothing bad will happen, Ada, but if that makes you calmer, I will come and check on you later. Now go to sleep.'
He put the light out, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but the sleep had other plans. I was desperate to stay in this position for as long as I could. Elrond lied to me, the night brought nasty side effects, my legs felt like hundreds of ants were crawling under the skin on my legs and no amount of movement could shake them off. I was half conscious throughout this "attack".
You probably don't want to read about it, but the next days passed slowly outside of reality. I mostly remember only the patches of sunlight on the floors of Rivendell. It's always frightening to suddenly realize that your body isn't yours and belongs to the symptoms only. My legs didn't feel like mine as I tried to get out of bed the next morning. They were way too wobbly to be mine. I have been drowsy during the day since that very first pill, as a result sometimes quiet afternoons would bring me sleep. It got better in the evenings usually, but whenever I tried to enjoy these short periods of this clarity of mind, Elrond would urge me to take another tablet.