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their bedroom door opens with a soft creak and jungkook feels a whiff of wind glide along the exposed bits of his skin, which is really just his nose and a bit of cheek since the entirety of him is buried under three layers of blanket. winters in korea are brutal.
he wiggles in deeper.
the door closes with a softer noise and then- nothing. jungkook hears no movement and the air in the room is eerily still.
it’s hard for his brain to rouse from its cozy safe warm state and only something as bizarre and chaotic as a spaceship landing on his apartment’s roof or something could make his brain restart the forming thoughts skill but he is trying his best.
jungkook smells him first and then he hears his breaths, a little too fast, a little too shaky, and with the increasing awareness that the person standing a few feet away from his bed can only be the one other person who lives in this apartment but- he bolts upright, wincing at the cold wind that smacks him on the face and croaks “nngi hyung?”
the hunched yoongi shaped blob flinches ever so slightly but jungkook notices, even in the big dark he notices.
he feels his heart constrict painfully and, forgetting all about the biting cold, reaches out to turn the bedside lamp on but yoongi’s panicked whisper of “no” stops him.
“yoongi hyung,” he says, hesitating, “what are you doing here, ‘yung? you're not discharged from the hospital until tomorrow?”
yoongi says nothing, just holds onto his braced arm, shivering a little on the spot.
he is always a little scared to approach yoongi when he gets like this, when his heart is more a big bruise than an organ against his sternum, not because he thinks yoongi will lash out but because jungkook knows his own heart, the size of it and how the only thing it's ever dared to hold is the man standing in front of him. yoongi makes his heart feel tenfold bigger and he tends to bleed out too much care too much worry too much love. he’s afraid he would overwhelm yoongi when he’s already in a vulnerable state. so he makes yoongi come to him, at his own pace, uttering small coaxing words and giving him all the time he needs. much like a scared stray kitten.
“pretty hyung, baby, can you please come here? preferably under the blankets and into my arms because if you don’t then i’ll have to come to you and my upper body is already frozen and you and i both know that i'll get frostbite the minute my feet touch the floor. do you really want that for me hyung? lil old me?” he puts on the best pout he can manage in his sleep-riddled state and makes his eyes big and sparkly even though yoongi can’t see and waits.
eventually, yoongi exhales a quiet laugh, his shoulders shaking a little but he immediately flinches again and this time not because of jungkook’s voice but because of the pain he is undoubtedly feeling in his shoulder.
jungkook grips the edge of the blankets and is about to leave the warmth of them to battle the wrath of cold and deadly frostbites to get to his yoongi but yoongi is already climbing onto the bed before he’s even finished whatever thought he was thinking.
jungkook doesn’t touch him immediately even though every cell in his body is screaming at him to because- “baby can i touch you?” he asks, ensuring to keep his voice quiet, soft because yoongi needs quiet and soft.
“you don’t have to ask guk-ah,” he replies back, equally quiet and soft.
“it’s nice to ask though,” he pouts a little and worm-wiggles towards yoongi and reaches out to cup his face, his precious face that’s very cold and is probably very splotchy red and fits so perfectly into jungkook's palms. he holds him until he feels yoongi’s stiff posture losen, his breath fanning over jungkook’s wrist in a sigh as he tilts his head to nuzzle into his palm.
jungkook’s heart is melting fondue.
“so warm,” yoongi breathes out, closing his eyes and dropping the hand holding his brace into his lap, “you’re always so warm gguk,” his voice breaks at his name and jungkook thinks he might cry soon if not now.
"my silly hyung," he says, rubbing the pad of his thumbs under yoongi's eye, expecting the wetness there, hating it no less. he brings one of his hand to card through yoongi's hair, it feels a little greasy, probably smells it too but he doesn't mind, he's excited to wash it come morning and uses the fingers of the other to trail down yoongi's nose bridge, across his cupid bow, traces the boney harshness of his jaw, shapes and edges he can draw with closed eyes, has traced over a hundred times and will for hundreds more.
yoongi lets him do as he pleases, mainly staying silent and occasionally letting out soft puffs of breath. he keeps trailing his hand down down down until he reaches his shoulder and trails over the brace with barely there pressure, a feather swaying through the air.
if jungkook were to choose any superpower to possess he would choose the power to heal those who hurt with just his touch. he thinks it again now, as he wills his fingers to suck yoongi’s hurt from the depths of him, both the physical and not, and maybe yoongi knows what he’s thinking because he breathes out another puff of air and tilts his head up to press a kiss to jungkook’s wrist.
yoongi’s heart is so good and it doesn’t deserve to hurt.
"my silly sad hyung," he sympathises, bringing his hand down to yoongi’s lap to interlace their fingers together. yoongi holds on tightly.
"m not sad," yoongi grumbles and scoots closer, careful to not jostle his shoulder much, and leans his forehead on jungkook’s collarbone, sniffling a little.
"hmm 'kay not sad but definitely cold!” he giggles and pulls the behemoth blankets around yoongi as best he can and now they’re both cocooned in safety warmth and coziness and it’s almost perfect except- yoongi is still sad.
they sit there for many minutes, jungkook rubbing yoongi’s back, combing his fingers through his hair, pressing little kisses to whatever parts of yoongi’s face he can reach, chasing away the ugly cold from his body, from his heart.
“cold is good..it helps..,” yoongi mumbles. he sounds sleepy.
“helps with what baby?”
“with the thoughts..mean thoughts,” he replies and jungkook’s stills in his ministrations but yoongi whines quietly so he forces himself to continue. tries chasing the hurt away. “when i’m cold..it’s harder to focus on them gguk, and it’s easier to breathe.”
jungkook hates this. there’s a wound on his heart that appeared the first time he had to watch yoongi hurt like this, only then it was way worse.
picture this: yoongi in a corner, curled into himself, trembling violently with anguish and rage towards the world and its people, scratching at his arms hard enough to tear through skin, ugly sobs racking his core.
and jungkook, sitting a few feet away from him, trying so hard to not shake but failing, scared for yoongi, of yoongi, crying hyung stop hyung you’re scaring me hyung i’m scared please hyung, so utterly helpless and why wouldn’t he be? he was so young, they both were.
yoongi had apologised to jungkook profusely after, had hugged him and treated him to lamb skewers and tried to act normal while avoiding eye contact. jungkook had felt so pathetic then because none of it was yoongi's fault and he should have been the one comforting yoongi but he was only seventeen. the only thing he had were his words and his hands but he didn’t know how to use them to make it better for yoongi. so he selfishly latched onto whatever comfort he was given and meekly ate his lamb skewers.
the wound that had formed on his heart then is still there and it reopens in moments like these, when he has an armful of a sad yoongi. the jungkook then was utterly helpless but the jungkook now knows yoongi more intimately, knows him inside out and knows how to use his words and his hands to soothe the ache that nests inside yoongi’s chest.
“you should have called me hyung,” he says into yoongi’s hair and he was right, it does smell a little greasy, “i would’ve come to you and stayed the night and brought you home in the morning.”
“visitors aren’t allowed after eight,” yoongi sighs as if that justified him sneaking out and travelling all the way to their apartment in this godforsaken weather.
jungkook scoffs.
“you’re so silly for thinking that something like that could keep me away from you, my one true love~” he coos and gets a pinch in the ribs in return. he yelps and then growls a little at yoongi but then settles down against him with a sigh.
“wait!” he exclaims all of a sudden and sits up, tries to coax yoongi’s face out of his hiding spot in jungkook’s neck but yoongi doesn’t budge and he gives up quickly, “it’s like one in the morning now and there are no buses or trains at this time..so how did you even get here?”
he feels yoongi’s spine stiffen under his fingers and for a while he remains silent. jungkook thinks he won’t get an answer but then he feels yoongi’s mouth move against his skin as he mouths something too quiet to hear even in the silence of the night.
suppressing a shiver he asks, “what was that hyung?”
yoongi squims on the spot and says again, this time a little louder, “i walked.”
“what?!” jungkook yells and yoongi flinches again and he immediately feels bad.
“sorry sorry, i’m sorry baby,” he whispers, pulling yoongi closer and petting his head.
“but..hyung..ugh,” he makes a frustrated sound because he’s honestly at a loss for words. the hospital yoongi was staying at is half an hour drive away from their apartment which means yoongi had walked, alone and cold and sad for more than an hour which is not okay. jungkook wants to chide him, tell him how unsafe and stupid that was but yoongi is already so sensitive, he doesn’t want to upset him more.
yoongi must sense his inner turmoil because he untucks himself from jungkook’s chest and sits up. jungkook can now make out some of yoongi’s features, can see that the corners of his lips are turned down and that his brows are furrowed. he wants to reach out and smooth them out.
“i’m sorry,” yoongi begins, “i know i shouldn’t have walked all the way home, i know it was an idiotic thing to do because my feet are killing me and my toes have probably fallen off along the way and- w-what are you doing?”
“checking if your toes are still intact, you can’t lose them hyung they’re very important to me,” he says, shoving his hands under his thighs to get to his toes and ensure they actually haven’t fallen off because that would be devastating.
yoongi’s features scrunch up which means he’s looking at jungkook in that judgy way that he does whenever he does something weird.
“...freak,” yoongi whispers but shoves his feet into jungkook’s hands anyway.
“as i was saying…i really did try to wait until the morning but i couldn’t sleep no matter how many sheeps i counted and they kept the lights in the hallway on and you know i can’t sleep unless it’s completely dark and the painkillers did nothing for the pain and the bed was too stiff and i was thirsty and lonely and i just…missed you,” he says in a single breath, panting slightly by the end.
“i missed you so much gguk-ah..baby,” and jungkook can’t help it anymore. he cups yoongi’s face again and gently brings his lips onto his, hisses at how cold they are but still so soft, always soft like the finest cotton. he pecks him gently a few times, feels more than hears yoongi sigh against his lips and then coaxes his lips apart so he can kiss him properly.
the kiss stays unhurried and slow but jungkook still feels feverish, feels his face heat up and his heart race and thinks he will never stop reacting like this to kissing yoongi, like it’s his first time doing it.
he kisses across yoongi’s jaw, up to his ear, nibbles his earlobe and feels yoongi’s shiver on his tongue, kisses his forehead, both his eyes, his cheekbones, the tip of his nose and then returns to his lips that are parted and glossy from jungkook’s spit.
“are you hungry hyung?” he asks and continues peppering Yoongi’s face with kisses.
“mmm no,” yoongi says and tilts his face up to catch jungkook’s lips with his, sucking his lower lip into his mouth, smiling as jungkook groans. he really missed jungkook so much, felt like he was dying from the lack of him.
“‘kay, let’s sleep now? we’ll talk tomorrow ‘kay?” jungkook says after breaking the kiss and after yoongi’s slow sleepy nod, he moves to his side of the bed and holds up the blankets for yoongi. but yoongi stays sitting there and when jungkook squints at his face, he realises yoongi is pouting.
“what’s wrong?” he asks, tilting his head and yoongi puffs and looks down at his supported arm.
“they advised me to sleep on my good shoulder so the bad one doesn’t feel any pressure and if i sleep on my side of the bed i’ll have to face away from you but..,” he trails off and chews on his lower lip, “i want to face you is all.”
“both your shoulders are good shoulders,” jungkook corrects absentmindedly, too busy clutching at his heart and praying that it doesn’t burst into a confetti of tinier hearts.
yoongi is so fucking adorably ohmygod.
he shakes his head and clears his throat.
“um okay hyung you can sleep on my side? that way you can face me and your shoulder will be safe?” jungkook suggests and yoongi, now looking happy, nods.
they rearrange their limbs quickly. jungkook lays yoongi down onto his side and shoves an extra pillow behind his back so he doesn’t roll onto his shoulder in his sleep.
he too then lies down and scoots as close to yoongi as their bodies will let and places his hand onto yoongi’s hip, avoiding his arm. yoongi tucks his head under jungkook’s chin and breathes in his scent, a mix of baby shampoo and vanilla body wash, and feels the safest he has in days.
just when jungkook thought yoongi had fallen asleep, he inhales loudly and says, “this helps more gguk,” then nuzzles his cheek on jungkook’s chest, right above his heart.
“hm?” jungkook asks, confused.
“you keep the mean thoughts away better than the cold,” yoongi yawns and then starts fake snoring to cover up the fact that he’s embarrassed.
jungkook smiles, soft soft soft and knows in his heart of hearts, that this is it for him. he will never run out of love to give to yoongi, even when they’re old and grouchy, his worn out heart will burn just as bright then as it does now.
jungkook goes in to kiss yoongi’s forehead and yoongi is already tilting his head up, expecting it, but at the last second blows a raspberry instead and laughs at yoongi’s sputtering.
“hey!” yoongi huffs and puffs at him and then licks him under the chin in retaliation, making jungkook shriek. they’re both laughing now, clutching at their stomachs and yoongi’s shoulder must be hurting from all the movement so jungkook forces himself to calm down so yoongi can too.
“i love you, hyung,” he says instead of goodnight and yoongi, blinking up at him from under his lashes, says the same three words back and jungkook thinks again, about forevers and growing old together.
eventually sleep catches up with him but he waits until he hears yoongi’s breathing even out to let it take him. he knows come morning, the wound on his heart will be re-stitched and yoongi’s own heart won’t feel like a big bruise to him anymore, that under the toasty sun kissing his cold-bruised skin awake, breathing will come to him easy.