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Markus stared out the windshield a moment. The snow outside was really quite peaceful. The blue and red lights bounced off the rear-view mirror and the snow in quite a festive manner.
And as far as companions went, there was no one he would rather have accidentally stolen a car with than the boy currently hyperventilating in the driver’s seat.
“You know what to do when you’re pulled over, right?” Markus asked.
“No!” Connor was clearly very close to a nervous breakdown.
“Relax! Roll your window down. Hands at ten and two.” He peeked out the side mirror and laughed.
“What?”
“Okay, I admit the last time I got pulled over was pretty crazy, but you seriously just got us pulled over by—”
“—Parking enforcement,” the officer finished, wearily.
Markus winced. “Hi, Chris.”
“Hi, Markus,” Chris sing-songed back, then rolled his eyes. “I shoulda known.”
“That’s profiling,” Markus complained, until the cop raised both eyebrows. Markus decided to change the subject. “Uh, Connor, this is Chris.”
“Officer Miller.”
“…He works with Hank.” Connor still looked ill and he reminded, “Hank? My foster dad? We watch Chris’ dogs when he’s out of town.”
Chris facepalmed, and Markus leaned into the front seat. “We were just borrowing the car, officer.”
“Oh, really?” Chris replied, “Because I have reason to believe this car is—"
“Stolen!!”
Markus startled as a grinning boy strolled into view on the other side of the car.
“Gavin,” Markus groaned. “Seriously?”
“Gavin, I told you to stay in the car!” Chris ordered but Gavin as usual couldn’t be bothered to listen.
“I know for a fact Leo’s in band at the moment,” the boy said, as if he was Poirot. “And I saw this shady character hanging around the building. All signs pointed to a carjacking.” He tapped his temple. “Simple deductive reasoning.”
“Why are you even here?” Markus asked.
Gavin drew himself up. “I got an internship with the DPD!”
“…In parking enforcement?” Connor asked, totally out of the blue. Markus laughed his head off.
“Alright, you two, out,” Chris barked, with zero bite. Connor still trembled next to the car as Chris read them their rights. Markus tried to not make it sound so bad by reciting along with him.
Markus stepped between them when Chris got out the handcuffs, though.
“Wait, you’re going to cuff him?”
“He was the one driving,” Chris pointed out.
“I’m the one that took Leo’s car.”
“Markus, I already arrested you once this month, one of these times it’s gonna stick.”
“You’re lucky I didn’t press charges for the last time,” Markus said with a smirk.
Chris groaned, then threw up his hands. “Alright, you’re both getting cuffed.” He waved at Gavin. “Give me your set.”
“Intern, remember?” Gavin said.
“Oh. Right. Dang, and I’m in a pool car.” He sighed. “Well, we’ll just have to make do…”
*
Hank was away on a case so Markus and Connor sat at his desk in the station to wait until he got back. Connor seemed to be oblivious to the cups of tea in front of them, Markus’ phone propped up on the table playing a movie, and the fact that Markus waved to and chatted with almost everyone in the station, including Gavin. He just sat there shivering.
“Amanda’s going to kill me,” he whispered.
“Well, that’s an airtight reason to get a new foster home.”
“A juvenile detention center is not what I had in mind.”
“Then you’re very lucky you stole the car from a friend who doesn’t mind.”
Connor glanced at him. “We’re not friends.”
“Come on,” Markus said, smiling, “We got the bracelets to prove it!”
He held up their hands, which were now bound together a single set of cuffs.
Connor yanked his hand down as if someone would see. “Why are you so calm?”
Markus shrugged. “I want to study injustice in law enforcement. My dad is a cop. This has happened to me before, and it probably will happen again.”
“No one will hire you with your record.”
“I’m very lucky there are people out there more open-minded than you.”
Connor cocked his head like a puppy that lacked object permanence. “Who?”
“Well…” But Chris came over before Markus had to answer that difficult question.
“Alright, who’s day am I ruining for you, Mr. Stern?” he said, messing with a phone. “Hank asked me to get that process started, he’s on his way with Leo….”
“Please don’t tell Amanda,” Connor mumbled.
“He’s having a really hard time with his foster family,” Markus explained. He tapped his knuckles against Connor’s. “They can call your social worker?”
Connor provided the name and number like a robot, as well as Amanda’s number. Chris stepped away and Markus glanced at Connor sideways.
“She’s really that bad, huh?”
Connor shrugged. “She has very high standards of achievement. She likes to say that there’s no grades in real life. You have to succeed at everything, or you might as well not try at all. Failure is not an option.”
“That’s a very emotionally damaging way to look at life.”
“I didn’t ask for a critique,” Connor said, then, eyes wide, “I’ve never told anyone that, before. She’d probably ground me just for talking to you.”
“Well, if she’s gonna be mad anyway…” Markus stopped the show on his phone and swapped it out for his chess app. It took a couple of turns for Connor to get into it but soon enough the guy was in all-focus mode, the police station forgotten as he expertly marched his pieces across the board. No wonder some crazy tiger parent latched onto him.
He didn’t notice Hank had arrived until Leo tackled him from behind.
“Jerk!” he growled as he tried to give Markus a wedgie. “What were you gonna do to my ride, huh?”
“Wrap it in saran wrap and sell it on eBay,” Markus said, trying to fend him off.
Leo cackled appreciatively at the sentiment, and Hank had to separate them.
“Alright, alright,” Hank bellowed. “That’s enough! That car belongs to both of you, alright?”
“Carl gave it to me! I’m the only one that drives it!” Leo complained.
“Yeah, and I’m the only one that fixes it,” Markus muttered.
“You either share the car or neither of you get it! My God!” He pointed at Markus. “You’re still in trouble for letting your friend drive it without my permission.”
“Connor Stern,” Connor said, leaping to his feet respectfully and holding out his free hand. “You must be Hank. You like metal music, basketball, and you have a dog.”
He looked around for approval. Leo squinted. Markus blinked in surprise. If Connor got all that just from sitting at Hank's desk for an hour he deserved the internship way more than Gavin did.
Hank just grinned. “…I like him already!” He shook Connor's hand. “Chris, you got a key? Let’s give Sherlock Holmes here a ride...homes!" He laughed at his own dad joke and Markus died a little inside.
"You aren't gonna book 'em?" Chris asked in astonishment.
"If I do, who's gonna walk your dogs?" Hank said with a grin. "And the way I see it no one's car was actually stolen, right?"
Leo sighed and folded his arms. "Fine, whatever."
“But it was my fault,” Connor said, in the same moment Markus said, “We can't take him back there!"
Everyone turned to look at Markus and he fought down a blush. "...He was running away from his foster parent," he explained. "That's why he needed the car. I stopped him.”
“Oh you did, huh?” Hank peered between the two of them as if picking up his own clues.
"Taking him back won't fix the problem. I... thought we could help him out.”
“Like…” Then whatever clues he was seeing fell into place. The lieutenant waved his hands. “No fucking way!”
"Hank," Chris hissed but Markus talked over him.
“Where else is he gonna go?”
“Back to his house, where he belongs!”
“But he’s miserable there! Hank—”
“Lemme talk to you for a sec.” He found a pair of handcuff keys and undid the half on Connor’s wrist. “Don’t you think about moving,” he told Connor, then dragged Markus by the handcuff into one of the meeting rooms.
“What?” Markus demanded.
“Don’t think I see what’s going on?” Hank asked. “I was a teenager once too, you know. What, your crush just happens to be in dire straights and you just happen to swoop in to rescue him, invite him to stay the night?”
“It wasn’t like that—”
“Not to mention I have a whole house full of kids! What, and now you got his hopes up?”
“Well—so what? He needs a house like ours, you should’ve heard what he said about her, it’s like he’s sixteen and he hasn’t even gotten a chance to live!”
“Hate to break it to you, but a lot of teens say they hate their parents at some point or other, you can’t just go by what he says--”
“That’s how you saved Ralph. I know how lucky we are, alright? It’s not bad that I want to share that with Connor.” He drew himself up and used the voice he'd learned how to harness in his speech and debate class. “It doesn’t hurt to ask.”
Hank grumbled. “…At most, it’ll be temporary. Until we find something better.”
“Okay. Sure.”
“And he is not allowed in your room, or you in his.”
“But—”
“He can stay in Ralph’s room, which means you and Leo are gonna have to get real cozy in the attic room.”
Markus huffed but shrugged. “…Fine.”
“And—this is important—as long as he’s under my roof, Connor is your brother. Not your crush.” Markus made a face but Hank was unmoved. “Did I show you Pushing Daisies?”
“…The one about the guy that can’t touch his girlfriend or she’ll die?”
“Yeah. That’s you.”
“What?! Come on, dad—”
“Don’t ‘come on, dad’ me, it’s completely doable. You think I was pissed when I had to negotiate getting ‘expelled’ off your transcript? You two so much as high-five, or fist-bump, or even run into each other on the stairs, and this—” he took the end of the handcuff and gave it a light shake, “—will be the least of your worries.”
“Ow," Markus said, just to make him feel bad, then, "Fine.”
Hank dropped the handcuff. “Sorry. I fucking mean it.”
“I got it. Watch your language.” He watched Hank as he unlocked the handcuff with his own keys. “…So you’ll do it?”
“I’ll check.” He stomped out of the meeting room like he lost the fight. Maybe he had. “Chris, you got Dr. Stern on the line?”
“I’m on hold now,” Chris said, handing Hank the phone. “Left a message with his social worker, Elizabeth Warren.”
“Warren?” Hank laughed. “This kid really did get dealt a shit hand.”
“Hank!” Chris admonished. “There are kids present!”
Hank held up his hands. “Pardon my French.” He took the phone from Chris and spoke quietly into it for a bit.
Markus returned to Connor’s side. He was sitting right where Hank left him, perfect posture, wringing his hands. Since their deal wasn’t yet in effect, Markus reached over and squeezed Connor’s hand. Connor squeezed back so hard the knuckles turned white.
“Don’t worry,” Markus said. “He looks scarier than he is.”
Connor laughed, breathless.
Eventually Hank set down the phone.
“She said she’s fine with it,” Hank said with a shrug at Connor. Connor looked down at his shoes.
“Told you so,” Markus said. Hank pointedly ignored him.
“We’ll make an appointment with Warren tomorrow, see when she can fit you in for an eval. Hey.” He pointed at Connor. “I’m sticking my neck out for you. If you run out on me, you’re fucking it up for me and my kids.” He paused. “Fudging. Whatever. I won’t take kindly to it.”
“I know.” Connor finally looked up, his eyes all shiny, but—actually hopeful. “I can—I can really stay with you and Markus?”
“For now,” Hank said. “Can’t make any promises long term until we talk to Warren. She’s a prick but maybe you’ll get lucky. What, Chris? There’s no other word for prick!—”
“What’d I tell you?” Markus whispered, and winked.
Connor wrung his hands. “I—I guess this makes us—”
“Friends,” Markus said, quickly, before Connor could sibling-zone him. Being friend-zoned was bad enough. He rubbed his wrist. “Just friends.”
That, of all things, finally got Connor to cheer up, and his whole face lit up in a big doofy grin. “Friends,” he agreed.