Chapter Text
Richie never cried.
Hardly ever.
Now, now though, he felt exposed. Torn apart. Picked at piece by piece and humiliated in front of everyone.
Get the fuck out of here faggot.
The words spun in his head. He nearly tripped. That's right he was running. Running from the park after sitting and crying on the bench before being attacked and nearly shitting himself from fear by the Paul Bunyon statue. He kept running into the forest passing trees, just shy of the river. He doubted anyone was in their clubhouse. Ever since the fight no one has really been talking to him. Not even Billy. Which hurt of course, Billy was his best friend. He climbed down the ladder and into the hide out. It was empty, so he plopped right into the hammock quietly. He stared at the dirt ceiling. His stomach was twisting and turning. He hadn't felt this way in his whole life, not even towards Pennywise. Afraid. Very very afraid. He was afraid of his family, his friends and this town. He was afraid of Billy and Eddie. Everyone else could fuck off. Eddie, the love of his life, complete angel he was, his first crush, would be the first to hate him. Definently because of the AIDS crisis. His throat tightened and closed as tears blurred his vision.
"Eddie's gonna hate me." He choked out, his voice weak and high pitched. He sounded so...stupid. He sobbed at the thought and pulled at his hair. "Eddie's gonna hate me!" He screamed at himself, his entire body shaking from his sobs. The minute those thoughts left his mind, Billy came into his head. Billy would also hate him but just because of the fact that he was- a faggot. That's right he-
The clubhouse door swung open as the sound of feet came down the ladder. Richie wiped his tears and fixed his glasses. "What's up B-b-billy?" He asked in a fake stutter. His voice sounded as wounded as he felt, his face heating up with embarrassment, hoping Billy didn't notice his tone or see the fact that he had obviously been crying.
Billy turned to him. "R-r-richie? What- what are you doing huh-here?" He asked.
"Oh nothing just using the hammock in peace instead of with Eds bitching at me." He scoffed the best he could.
"A-are you ok you s-...s....your voice...is s-sad?" Billy asked approaching him.
"What! No I'm not sad- Billy I'm just upset cuz I'm experiencing withdrawal from Eddie's mom!" He joked quickly.
Billy didn't laugh. "B-b-but I've known you for s-s-...so long I know when you s-s-seem off.." He was now at the hammock looking down at Richie.
Richie was full blown panicking. Heart pounding out of his chest and everything. Tears were pricking his eyes again. Billy would find out sooner or later. Of course Henry would spread the news at some point. He didn't realize he was sobbing until he felt Billy helping him to sit up before climbing in the too small hammock himself. Billy pulled Richie down so he had his head in his lap. Richie cringed only crying harder, afraid that Billy would pull away if he knew. Oh only if he knew. He didn't like Billy like that but he knew Billy would think he did or be grossed out. Hands ran through his hair soothingly causing his eyes to flutter a bit and his sobs to quiet down.
"Was it was it Henry? D-did he say something?" Billy asked.
Richie just nodded. Anger filling his heart quickly at the thought of the situation that occurred only 30 minutes ago.
"I'm just- I'm gonna say it before he does I'm a f-f-f-..." Richie choked on his words. "F-fa-" He cried harder. He wasn't faking the stutter this time to playfully tease Billy. He was actually unable to say the word.
Billy quickly caught on to what he was about to say. "Don't you- don't you fucking call yours-s-self that w-word." Billy snapped quickly. Richie flinched violently and Billy regretted his tone. He paused for a minute. "A-are you saying you're a -a h-homosexual?" Billy asked as calmly as he could.
Richie began to tremble and he nodded squeezing his eyes shut. Billy just continued to comb through his hair, deep in thought. He swung his legs a bit to rock the hammock.
"Your not grossed out...or..anything?" Richie said quietly when he didn't feel Billy pull away.
"N-no...it's fine that d-doesnt bother me. Actually...it-it doesn't quite s-s-surprise me either." Billy admitted cooly.
Richie's lip trembled and he turned and hid his face in Billy's stomach, still unable to stop himself from sniffling and crying quietly.
"You have a c-c-crush on someone in this group don't you?" Billy asked which shot a bolt of fear in his heart. A playful smile spread across Billy's face as Richie hesitantly looked up at him. "T-thats why you puh-pick on Eddie so much, you like him!" Billy smirked. Richie groaned and headbutt Billy in the stomach.
Billy let out a laugh. "I knew-knew it!" He continued to rock the hammock. "You're o-o-obvious with it too."
"Am not!" Richie retorted quickly looking back up at him. Billy giggled glad Richie was back to himself and not crying anymore.
"You- you're my best f-friend Richie. You b-being h-homosexual doesn't change t-that." Billy said hugging him again. Richie smiled and hugged him back sighing relieved, all the tension leaving his body.
Suddenly the door swung open and a scrawny kid fell down the ladder steps and grunted. Richie sat quickly sitting up.
"Spaghetti! Look at you all casted up. How's your mom doing? Does she miss me? She let you out of the house???" Richie said quickly.
"What- shut up Richie! Don't call me that and shut the fuck up about my mom!"
Billy waved from his spot.
"What are you guys doing here?" Eddie asked.
"Moping from the withdrawal from your mom I miss the way she feels when I-"
"Don't fucking finish that sentence Richie." Eddie snarled.
That cute little snarling face of his. Richie swooned a little. Billy smirked and flicked the back of his head to which Richie made a noise of surprise.
"So are we getting the group back together?" Eddie asked.
"I-i...I-ll check with with Bev first th-then meet back here?" Bill suggested.
"Yeah yeah don't take too long." Richie rolled his eyes.
"Meet back in an hour?" Eddie suggested.
"S-sure." Billy smiled before heading out to find Bev.
Richie lie back in the hammock and sighed. Thank God the day got better before it would get worse.