Chapter Text
Tw for this chapter: Past suicide, death, past self harm, talk of scars, screaming/crying
My heart is a battle field, broken and covered in damage.
My heart is a small cafe in a small town, filled with happiness by those who come by.
My heart is a morgue, the smell of chemicals and the horrible sights to see.
My heart is a bed on a Sunday morning, warm and leaving you to feel safe.
My heart is filled with tragedy and yet so much good.
But no matter what, my heart is open to you, it welcomes you with a smile and reminds you that you are alive. My heart will always have a place for you, even if you decide you do not want it anymore.
My heart will trace out every part of you to keep you with me when you disappear. You will always have a home in my heart.
Please come home
~~~
"Liam!" Tommy yelled, running forward out into the rain. He felt sick to his stomach and he felt like maybe he was dreaming, but Wilbur had just woken him up so he knew he wasn't dreaming.
Techno stepped aside as Tommy ran up and hugged Liam tightly, just for Liam to hug him back twice as hard. Tommy heard footsteps behind them and Tubbo's voice shouted out.
"NO FUCKING WAY!" Before they both felt two more sets of arms wrap around them, joining the hug.
"Hi guys." Liam said softly and Tommy felt tears begin to mix with the rain pouring down on all of them. How was this happening? This couldn't be real could it?
"How the fuck are you here?" Ranboo asked and Liam chuckled lightly.
"It's a long story." Liam said as he pulled away from them. Tommy stared Liam up and down, he looked the same as Tommy last remembered, but also older. It made since but at the same time it didn't. He shouldn't be older, he shouldn't even be here.
"You fucking died on our bathroom floor how they fuck are you even fucking here?" Tubbo asked. Liam opened his mouth to respond but stopped as he looked up at the front door. Phil stood there, staring at him. They made eye contact and for a moment it felt like the world slowed down.
"Hi Phil." Liam said softly. Phil wordlessly walked forward and enveloped him into a hug.
"You're dead, you're dead and I'm dreaming but I don't want to wake up." Phil said in a voice barely above a whisper, and he truly was saying what everyone was thinking. Liam shook his head.
"I'm alive, I'm here and I'm alive and you're awake." Liam said in response. God it was so strange to hear Liam being the one to say those words.
"Can we please know how the fuck this happened?" Tommy asked and Liam nodded pulling away. Phil was crying like the rest of them were. Techno stepped forward a bit, drawing the attention to him.
"Can we go inside? It's pouring out here." Techno said and they all agreed, all of them walking back in where Wilbur was waiting with a few towels.
"Thought they'd be nice since we're all soaked." Wilbur joked, though no one laughed.
"Yeah, thanks Wil." Liam said and you could feel the tension in the room from the nickname.
"Okay, you, explain now." Tubbo demanded as Ranboo wrapped a towel around him.
"Okay, it's a long story and you just gotta believe me, okay?" Liam said as Phil directed them into the dining room so they could all sit at the table. He turned up the thermostat before he also took a seat at the table. Everyone was staring at Liam.
"Just start talking." Tommy said and Liam took a deep breath before speaking again. Everyone held onto his every word.
"August I tried to kill myself," Liam started, Tubbo and Ranboo glanced at each other. "I don't remember much of it and I didn't have all the info. I apparently was dead when I got to the hospital so that's what they told you guys, but they didn't stop trying on me. Apparently they brought me back, but they thought I wouldn't make it, so they didn't tell you guys." Liam started to explain, glancing down at his arms that were covered in scars. Tommy looked too and felt sick, those were the scars from when he tried to kill himself on Tubbo and Ranboo's bathroom floor.
How did they feel seeing those scars? Did it bring back the memory of when blood poured out of them?
"Why wouldn't they tell us, don't they have to tell us if something changed?" Tubbo cut in, but Liam just shrugged.
"I don't know. I do know that I was in a coma for a while, and when I woke up I was just thrown back into the foster system, well another system. I got put in a town that's about a few hours from here and no phone, no nothing. I couldn't talk to anyone for months. Then about a week ago I had a doctor call me, telling me that I never picked up my results from the dna test. I got them and I found out that Techno is my brother. Surprise." Liam said, pointing to Techno a bit.
"We knew that already." Techno said as he tried not to cry again. Wilbur and Phil stared at Techno as he said this but he didn't make eye contact with them.
"Oh. Well hi, we're brothers." Liam said as he shrugged lightly.
"So you didn't try and kill yourself because you found out that I was your brother?" Techno asked and everyone froze. Liam looked Techno dead in the eyes, his face softening as he looked at Techno on the verge of tears.
"No, of course not. I didn't know you were my brother until a week ago." Liam said honestly and techno nodded as a tear fell down his face. "I promise you, it had nothing to do with you."
"Then what did it have to do with? Why did you almost fucking die in our house?" Ranboo snapped, and Tommy flinched slightly. He had seen Tubbo mad, he had seen Wilbur mad, he had seen Phil mad, he'd even seen Techno mad. But the whole time he'd known Ranboo he had never seen him mad.
"Boo?" Tubbo said softly, slightly worried about the anger coming from his brother.
"No, I'm fucking done pretending like it wasn't a fucking issue. Liam fucking died in our house, he fucking scared us both, we watched him fucking die on our floor as our bathroom flooded with water mixed with his blood. Tubbo you fell out of my fucking arms and got drenched in his fucking blood. We have a right to know why he fucking did it." Ranboo lectured. Liam just sat there, thinking.
"I don't entirely know." Liam said after a few moments.
"You're fucking kidding. You did what you fucking did and you don't know why you did it? Are you fucking insane? I get feeling like shit and wanting to fucking die, I've felt that way almost my entire life. But to do what you did, and not even know why you did it is bullshit." Ranboo snapped as he stood up. He left the kitchen and they all heard the footsteps stomping up the stairs, followed by a door slamming.
"I- I'm sorry." Liam stammered, a look of concern now on his face. No one said anything to him. "I'm sorry that I just came out here, I'm sorry I didn't call or anything and I'm sorry for what I did. I know it doesn't make it okay and I know that I'm in the wrong here." Liam apologized.
"Liam, it's okay." Phil said softly.
"No, the fuck it's not!" Tubbo shouted, also standing up as he slammed his hands down on the table. "I agree with Ranboo, what you did was shitty. You put us through so much and now you're just acting like you went on vacation or something, you snuck out of the house without telling us where you went. Tommy did that and we were all pretty fucking pissed off. But you, you let us believe you were dead after forcing us to watch you be dead on our bathroom floor." Tubbo argued as he pointed his finger at Liam.
"I didn't have a choice, I couldn't reach back out to you even if I wanted to." Liam tried to explain but Tubbo wasn't having it. He shook his head as tears welled in his eyes. "You wanted an explanation and I gave you one."
"I kinda wish I continued to think you were dead." Tubbo said and he left the room. Liam watched him go. Techno gently stood up.
"Techno." Liam said softly but Techno just bit his lip and left the room, Wilbur standing up to go after his brother. "Wilbur, talk to him, he and I are brothers. He can't agree with Tubbo can he?" Liam asked softly.
"Liam, I," Wilbur started, stopping slowly. "I don't know. At first I was happy to see you're alive, and I'm glad that you are alive. But it did hurt, what happened hurt. You can't expect us all to be fine with what happened. We thought we lost you for good man, and no matter what we're always going to have to deal with that pain." He explained.
"I'm not trying to erase your pain, I'm just here because I am alive and I thought you would all be happy that I was, not screaming and shouting at me." Liam said but Wilbur just inhaled sharply.
"Maybe showing up at our doorstep in the middle of the night wasn't the best idea then. Maybe a bit more warning next time." Wilbur said as he went after Techno. They all heard Techno's door open and close quickly. They sat in silence.
"Tommy, are you at least happy to see me?" Liam asked and Tommy nodded slowly. "That's good, how are you man? I missed you."
"I missed you too Liam." Tommy said softly looking down at the table and Liam smiled at him.
"Liam, does MD know you're here?" Phil asked softly and Liam paused.
"MD isn't my case worker anymore." Liam said, slightly confused. Phil gave him a strange look.
"Then who is, because they need to know that you're here." Phil explained.
"Puffy is my caseworker, I got reassigned to her about two weeks ago." Liam said and Phil nodded as he processed what was said, before he looked over at Tommy quickly.
"What?" Tommy choked out and Liam nodded.
"Yeah, I was reassigned as I got moved back into town about two weeks ago." Liam said and Tommy felt his heart skip a beat. Puffy knew and didn't tell him?
"Why wouldn't she tell me that?" Tommy asked out loud but neither answered."Why wouldn't she fucking tell me that?" Tommy repeated.
"I don't know, but we can’t jump to conclusions yet.” Phil says but Tommy stands up.
“Not you too Tommy.” Liam half complains until Tommy looks him dead in the eyes, his own eyes watering.
“We were put in the same foster home years ago and it was one of the only times I felt safe. We then got kicked out and tried to kill ourselves as kids. We got torn apart and Puffy said she would do everything she could so that I could see you again. I didn’t hear anything about you for a fucking year, then we had that shitty phone call. After that the next thing I heard was that you were dead, and it wasn’t even from Puffy, it was from these guys.” Tommy snapped.
“Tommy.” Liam said softly but Tommy held up his finger to tell him to be quiet.
“When I told Puffy about it, when we had that fun conversation about it, I fucking sobbed for an hour. She sat there on the fucking phone with me as I broke down because at that point the only person I had even considered my brother was fucking dead. She said she wished she could do more for me, she wished she could help in some way. She did all of that and then she helped me figure out that you’re Techno’s brother, she went through great lengths to help me. She did what seemed impossible but she didn’t even have the fucking audacity to tell me that you’re alive!” Tommy yelled. Liam flinched but Tommy didn’t feel bad. He just slammed his chair into the table and went upstairs.
Both Tubbo and Ranboo were upstairs crying when Tommy walked into the room fuming. Tommy took one look at them before crossing over to the window.
“Oh no, you’re not running away again.” Tubbo said, standing up from the bed. Tommy shook his head as he messed with the lock.
“No, I'm sitting out on the roof.” Tommy said truthfully and Tubbo glared at him.
“Really?” Tubbo asked and Tommy nodded.
“Honestly.” Tommy sighed and Tubbo sat back down to pull a crying Ranboo into a hug. Tommy looked at them both for a moment before climbing out onto the roof. He sat in view of the window so they could see him if they chose to look up. He sat under the ledge as well so the rain wouldn’t fall on him.
How could Puffy do this? How could Liam do this? Why the fuck were either of them not honest this whole time. Puffy continued to let them all believe Liam was dead. When Tubbo was almost dead Puffy knew Liam was alive.
Tommy sat there for a few moments until a window to his right opened up and out leaned Wilbur. He didn’t crawl out of the window but let his upper body come out of it. He didn’t say anything but pass his vape to Tommy, who took a large hit of it before speaking.
“How’s Techno?” He questioned, Wilbur shrugged softly.
“It’s Techno. He had a panic attack ‘till he passed out, I’m just glad he didn’t do shit like last time.” Wilbur said in a soft tone, and Tommy nodded in agreement. “How are you?”
“Puffy knew. She’s Liam’s current case worker and she knew for at least two weeks.” Tommy informed him and Wilbur paused for a minute.
“What?” Wilbur asked and Tommy nodded . “Jesus Christ man.”
“Yep. She didn’t bother to tell me, not even a ‘hey he’s alive’ text. Fucking nothing.” Tommy sighed, taking another hit from the vape. They just fell into silence other than the sound of rain for a few moments before a car started to come down the road.
Tommy knew the car all too well. It was Puffys car. It pulled into the driveway and they watched as Puffy began to climb out.
Before Wilbur could stop him, Tommy was flying back through his window and running towards the stairs. Wilbur came out of his room to grab Tommy, but Tommy threw the vape in his hand at Wilbur. It hit him in the Adam’s apple and Tommy kept going.
He went down the stairs and down to the front room where Phil had just answered the door to Puffy, Liam nowhere to be seen. Her eyes were red and it looked like she was crying. She took one look at Tommy and nearly crumbled.
“You didn’t tell me.” Tommy said, trying his best to keep his voice stable. Puffy bit her lip and shook her head slightly.
“I couldn’t. You know I couldn’t.” She responded, but Tommy shook his head this time as tears welled up in his eyes.
“You could have.” He argued.
“Tommy, I couldn’t, I would have lost my job.” She reminded him but he stepped forward. It looked like he was about to push her, so she pulled him into a tight hug before he could. “I promise you I would if I could.” She said softly. Tommy struggled against her grip as he started to sob.
“You could have told me! You should have told me! It’s not fucking fair, you should have told me! You promised you would do what you could! Why didn’t you tell me! I needed to know this!” Tommy yelled as he struggled against her, beating his fists against her shoulders and back like a child throwing a tantrum.
“Tommy, I swear on my life I would if I could.” She said as her own tears fell from her eyes.
“No! You should have told me! You should have told me! You should have fucking told me Puffy! This is something I needed to know and you fucking know that! He was my brother, he fucking cared about me before anyone else did!” Tommy sobbed as he still struggled.
“Tommy, I loved you before anyone else did. I have loved you since the day I met you.” Puffy said as Tommy shook his head.
“No you didn’t! No you fucking didn’t!” He screamed and Puffy felt her heart break. Phil came up beside them and opened his arms. Puffy let go of Tommy and Phil was quick to grab Tommy from them. Tommy still struggled and beat against Phil for a moment before realizing who it was. When he saw his fathers face he wrapped his arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder.
“It’s okay Tommy, it’s okay. We’re all okay, we’re safe and we’re okay.” Phil soothed but Tommy just shook his head as he continued to cry.
“She should have told me.” He said weakly. Phil just continued to sooth Tommy until he eventually grew tired. To make things easier he put him in bed with Techno in Techno’s room and closed the door.
This whole time Liam stood in the doorway of the dining room, watching it all unfold.
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