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the trailer was next to silent if you werent listening so closely. if you were listening so closely, however, you would hear the sink dripping softly, the porch light that robin had insisted on keeping turned on buzzing, dustin snoring softly in wayne munson’s room, and being promptly told to shut up quietly by max, and youd probably be able to hear eddie munson shaking as he woke with a start from a nightmare. of course, eddie could her all of this, and it was much too loud. the sounds all blending with the leftovers of his rather unsavory nightmare. the dripping of the sink reminding him of the dripping of water off of his body as he came into the upside down, the buzzing felt like the screeching noise of those disgusting (kinda cool but SCARY) bats, the snoring sounded like growling and it was all too much for him.
he thought he would be able to sleep through the night, he thought to himself ‘hey! ive seen scarier shit in movies and on a particularly bad trip! ill be fine!’. they had all agreed to take shifts taking watch and making sure nobody gets ‘vecna’d’ and nothing crawls through the haphazardly covered hole in the roof throughout the night, as they were supposed to enact their plan in the morning. nancy, robin, erica , and max were SUPPOSED to take the area near the couch, but they all new that all the younger kids would end up crashing in one room together, all stacked in a neat little pile on top of eachother. steve and eddie, after much debate, decided they would just share eddies room, even if eddie made sure to go in first to hide anything….incriminating. erica had been the first to fall asleep, lucas picking up her smaller frame and carrying her over to the couch, putting an extra blanket over her and laying her peacefully down. dustin was next, he was rambling on and on and ON about some book he was reading or going through holes in the plan and patching them up, talking about anything and everything to try and keep himself awake, but eventually he had trailed off, slumping against robin, who all but dragged his body into the other room. lucas resigned into the other room not long after, followed by max, who eddie knew fully well was not asleep yet.
see, eddie new max, a fact they had purposefully agreed to hide from EVERYONE else for the sake of reputation (not that either really had any, but eddie the freak being friends with a fifteen year ‘girl’ old could NOT do his reputation well). eddie and max had been friends since after max moved into the trailer park, spotting eddie smoking on the benches near his trailer, plopping down next to him and asking for a cigarette. eddie had said no, but the two found a sense of understanding with each other, they saw each other, free of judgement. eddie had lost his mom over the summer, and even though billy hargrove was an absolute dick to him, he knew what it was like to lose a family member. max and eddie developed patterns, like if max couldnt sleep, chances are eddie couldnt either, so max would walk over to eddies trailer, grab the spare key (it was under the mat) and walk straight to eddie’s room. sometimes they would talk, sometimes they wouldnt, sometimes max would be crying, sometimes they wouldnt, sometimes max would look so tired, so defeated, so deflated. those times, eddie would look up from whatever he was doing and raise his arms, max immediately crawling under the covers and into his arms, letting him rock them to sleep, sometimes eddie would sing to max, softly under his breath, sometimes he’d just let it be quiet and safe for them, but almost every time he would feel the telltale wet spots of tears dropping onto his shirt, but he didnt mind. after nights like those, eddie would be sure to be up before max, make them some breakfast, and would always offer a ride to school. eddie knew deep down that he somehow reminded max of billy, or at least an older brother, what an older brother should be. he was a strong, stable figure, and he loved max like family, he loved max in the way billy never did, in the way she always wished billy had. they had talked about it one night.
“i always knew he was like, awful, or whatever, but i still just, i dont know, i guess i just wanted him to like me SO bad. i wanted him to protect me from his dad, i wanted him to tell me to be brave when i was scared and to look out for me, but in the RIGHT way,” max had blurted out.
“i understand that. its a normal thing to want your family to like you, and its a normal thing to grieve the loss of those that you wanted to love you, sometimes you’re just grieving the thought of someone never getting the chance,” he dug his right knuckles into their hair where they were sitting tucked under his left arm, “to see how fucking awesome you are,” he finished, trying to keep the situation light without getting rid of any of the weight it had. max let out a small chuckle before tucking her head ever further into his side, almost reacher his chest. he didnt hesitate to wrap both his arms around them, laying down all the way so max would at least have a small chance of getting a tiny bit of sleep. he rocked very softly, very slowly, and kept his breathing slow and steady, trying to act as an anchor to pull max under the ocean of sleep. the next morning max’s eyes were puffy and her hair was a mess. eddie had let her take the take the day off of school. eddie had noticed quickly that max’s parents were never home, and he grew worried about her, often her spend multiple days at a time at his trailer, not like their mom ever noticed. he was almost her guardian at this point, and he really did love her, not that he’d ever tell her that (got to keep her ego in check somehow.) he took care of her, helped them study, and made sure they got at LEAST four hours of sleep. eddie knew for sure she wasnt sleeping a wink tonight.
robin went next, panicked rambling ceasing to a sudden halt as she leaned against nancy, passing out. after that nancy, steve, and eddie all retired into a quiet conversation about the plan for the next day, making sure each room had weapons if needing to defend themselves in the middle of the night, and all resigning to their seperate spots, nancy taking first watch.
when eddies nightmare started, he wasnt ready. he was back in his trailer with chrissy. he could still hear her bones snapping, feel the blood gushing onto his shirt and skin. there was so much blood. it was everywhere. he ran, like always, he never stopped running. when his baby sister had died he ran. he just couldnt take it. he got in his car and drove and drove until he got to his uncle’s trailer and never looked back. he ran out of his trailer screaming, only to be in the upside down. he called out for anyone, but nobody answered. he turned to run into the trailer, but saw it was locked. there was nobody coming to help him. why would they? he had never helped anyone. he was a coward. nothing but a dirty coward. he curled up into a ball and started to cry. it was more terror than he had ever felt before, and it was all just too much. much too much for him.
“eddie? eddie. EDDIE!” steves voice pulled him out of his thoughts. he didnt even realize he had sat up, but steve had. steve always noticed EVERYTHING. honestly it was a little exhausting and those poor kids probably never got away with anything. steves hands were placed carefully on his shoulders.
“hey? you with me?” steve asked, his face full of concern with his eyebrows pulling so tight they almost connected. eddie attempted to stumble out a reply but he just couldnt. all the words got stuck in his throat, his ears were ringing, and it felt like an elephant had stepped straight on his head. he put his hands up to his ears to try and stop the ringing in his ears, but it didnt help. a high pitched whine left his throat and steve grew more and more worried for the boy in front of him. he could see he was overwhelmed and panicked and tried his best to soothe him with quiet “its okay”s and “youre alright”s but nothing seemed to be helping. eddie was clearly stuck in own little world.
“can i touch you?” steve said. eddie waited a moment before nodding. steve pulled him into his chest, wrapping his arms around him as tight as he could, trying to do something, anything to ground him. he could practically hear the cogs turning in eddies brain and his grade a babysitter instincts started to kick in and he started rocking back and forth very slowly so as not to startle eddie. he kept him there, pressed tight against his chest, mumbling soft “shhh”s and telling him it would all be fine, that there are so many people here to protect him, and to just try to relax for now. eventually eddies breathing steadied out and his shaken started to lessen into nothing. they sat there in silence a while before eddie mumbled a quiet “sorry.”
steve immediately pulled back, “what?”
eddie sighed, speaking a little louder “im sorry. about waking you up and about you having to take care of me like im another one of the kids. im a grown man and i know that i should be taking care of myself.” steve’s frown deepened.
“this isnt your fault. i couldnt sleep for weeks the first time i saw all that shit. you’re safe here, and most importantly, your safe with me. i promise you that eddie munson.” eddie sniffed and nodded.
“does it get better? the more youre exposed to it?
“i wish i could tell you that it does get better, but you learn how to cope and you learn how to survive, and you did so so good for your first time going through it, you were so good. i know this means nothing from me, but i AM proud of you.” steve sighed. “do you want to talk about what happened in your dream?” eddie shook his head violently.
“maybe tommorow.”
“maybe tommorow,” steve repeated.
eddie nodded and laid back down, flipping onto his side. steve did the same so they were both facing away from each other. silence set in. uncomfortable silence.
“steve?”
“yes eddie?”
they turned to face each other, instantly understanding what the other wanted. steve wrapped his arms around eddie, pulling him as close as humanly possible, mumbling words of praise and comfort until eddie fell into a much more peaceful sleep in his arms. and if steve kissed him once on the forehead before falling asleep himself, that was for only him to know.