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Roxas was packing his things and it was – to his frustration – taking longer than anticipated. He was a timely man, always punctual and professional as a majordomo and personal Valet, and this lapse in judgment had his face flushed and eyes prickling with unshed tears of frustration.

No. No it wasn’t the packing, or the misjudgment of time, or the pang of hurt at each item he’d collected over the years in service that now had to be tucked away into suitcases.

Roxas had been dismissed that morning.

Ten years of impeccable service and this was how he was repaid. A formal dismissal. Humiliating.

Roxas huffed and threw another shirt into his suitcase, trying to turn to anger than the crushing feeling in his chest. Indignation was easier to handle than heartbreak.

Staring at the rumpled shirt however, Roxas had to admit, he had failed.

The Master of the estate – Axel Faust – was a wild and spirited man, given to flights of fancy and whimsy. Roxas had been in his service for ten long and eventful years, and Roxas could say with confidence that no one – perhaps not even the man himself – knew Axel better than Roxas did. And in that familiarity, he had gotten comfortable.

There was a certain rapport between them. A banter and ease of conversation not shared between most aristocrats and their Valets. Axel wasn’t like most aristocrats. He seemed to enjoy a more candid nature to his servants, and took joy in Roxas’ witty and snappish remarks, laughing and conceding to his criticisms. Perhaps, on days when Roxas was feeling particularly bold, he would dare to call them friends.

He’d gotten comfortable. Too comfortable, perhaps. But even then, he hadn’t completely forgotten his place.

No, that trouble started four months ago.

Axel had called Roxas to his office, saying it was most urgent and required his immediate attention. Roxas dropped what he was doing and rushed to the man’s aid, worried for his well-being based on Axel’s frantic call. Axel was fine, of course, but he paced his office like a madman. Flushed, hair wild, clothes rumpled.

“I need your help,” he said, eyes fiery as he turned to Roxas.

“When don’t you?” Roxas snarked in return, a bit perturbed that he’d rushed to Axel’s aid only to find him perfectly healthy.

Axel didn’t laugh. Instead, he ran a hand through ruffled red hair and began his pacing anew.

“Duke Herrington is hosting a summer holiday this June, at his new estate up north, no doubt wanting to show off his new land. A great number of important people have been invited, including me, naturally.”

Roxas nodded, already crafting a mental to-do list to prepare for the excursion. “I should prepare for your time away, then,” he said slowly, still unsure what had Axel so riled up. It certainly wasn’t the first time the man had been called away to such an event. And June was still two months out, more than enough time to prepare.

“Saix will be there,” Axel said, answering the question before it could leave Roxas’ lips.

Oh. “I’ll pack only your finest suits, then,” Roxas added. He had never met Saix himself, the man having left just before Roxas arrived at Axel’s estate, but from what he gathered their parting had been less than... ideal. And it was a sore spot Axel had clung to for years. Still clung to, it seemed.

But Axel just shook his head. “No, no, I need something more.” He stopped his pacing and turned wild green eyes to Roxas. “That’s why you’ll be accompanying me, not as my Valet, but as my beau, Roxas. I’m thinking we could call you the son of a distant Viscount.”

Roxas stared at Axel with a flat expression. “You jest.”

“I don’t.”

Roxas frowned and rubbed his forehead. “You cannot possibly be serious. You hope to feign a relationship with me in order to... what? Impress and make jealous a man you cut ties with over a decade ago? Be serious.”

“I am serious, Roxas.”

“Surely there will be people there who recognize me. I’ve been in your service for so long.”

Axel merely shrugged. “You know most aristocrats don't pay attention to servants, even high ranking ones. And those that do recognize you will know to keep their mouths shut. Come now, Roxas. Think of this as a vacation for yourself! No duties or responsibilities or time keeping.”

“Except to be your personal trophy,” Roxas huffed. “And if I refuse?”

“You won’t.” Axel shot him a wink and a wry grin. “Because you are so fond of me.”

———

Roxas did not refuse, much as he thought he should.

Instead, come June, he found himself packed into a carriage with his Master, not as his Valet, but as his (temporary) beau. Axel of course found it all quite amusing, but Roxas found himself growing more nervous with each slow-passing mile.

Once the time to travel had come, Axel forbade Roxas to do any more of his usual work, instead relegating his usual duties to another servant.

Roxas’ fingers twitched. Itched to look through his ledger, which he’d been forced to leave at home. He’d spent ten years managing his Master’s estate to an impeccable degree, and the sudden loss of control made his stomach curl.

“Relax,” Axel said, noting the way Roxas picked at his nails with a chuckle. “I told you before, think of this as a vacation for yourself. Enjoy the holiday.”

“Hardly enjoyable when I have to keep up a front for dozens of quite well-to-do guests,” he huffed in reply. “If we are caught-“

Axel just laughed. “You think too much. It makes you a marvelous Majordomo, yes, but Lord above you need to learn to relax.”

Roxas thought that was very easy for Axel to say.

———

Duke Herrington’s estate was as large and ostentatious as one could imagine. Lush gardens and rolling fields surrounded a manor house, its large size dwarfed only by the country’s royal castles themselves.

Roxas, dressed in finery more expensive than his entire wardrobe, stepped from the carriage and stared up at the grand building. He was no stranger to such displays of wealth, but he’d only ever viewed them from a servant’s point of view. Much different now as Axel took his arm and guided him inside, as though Roxas were now on his level.

He supposed, for the time being and to all concerned, he was.

The Duke was not there to meet them, but the servants were, lined up and ready to accept the parade of aristocrats that would trickle in over the course of the next day or two. Roxas couldn’t help the awkward, nervous energy that clawed at him as a maid showed them to their quarters, though he did his best to keep a calm exterior.

He wasn’t given much time to rest, as Axel almost immediately ushered him back out to mingle with the other guests and receive the grand tour of the estate. Duke Herrington was a blowhard of a man, loud and with a hearty, belting laugh. He wasn’t entirely unpleasant, and Roxas found himself thankful for the man’s ability to soak up so much attention. The less there was on Roxas, then.

That night, dinner was held in the grand dining room, and Roxas sat shoulder to shoulder with a swath of high ranking members of the aristocracy. He recognized some, but was unacquainted with just as many. And sure enough, just as Axel had said, few seemed to recognize him in return. The ones that did shared meaningful looks, but politely kept their lips sealed.

Admittedly, he was impressed with the story Axel had concocted about Roxas’ lineage and from where he came. It was just enough to satisfy curious guests, without too much intrigue to keep them asking questions.

Roxas did his best to keep calm, but his heart jackhammered in his chest, his grip tight on Axel’s arm as they mingled post-meal. For his part, Axel seemed jovial and carefree, though Roxas noted a tightness in his gaze. A nervous wandering eye that scanned the large room, no doubt searching for a certain ex.

Roxas didn’t know what Saix looked like, but he was sure Axel would let him know the moment he was spotted. But for the time being, it seemed the man had not yet arrived.

Eventually, the two turned in for the night and Roxas was ever grateful to be away from prying eyes. He noted upon returning to their quarters their bed. Their large, single bed. Of course they had not been provided separate sleeping arrangements. Why would they? To their host they were a couple, most likely sharing a bed.

There was, however, a chaise sofa off to the side. Plush cushions no doubt made it a comfortable seat, but it would make for a lousy place to sleep. Still, it would have to do.

Axel excused himself for a bath, refusing Roxas’ help in changing out of his fine suit.

“You’re not my Valet here, darling,” he’d teased.

So, with a sigh, Roxas approached the lounge, dragging a blanket he snagged from the bed along the way. He made himself as comfortable a sleeping spot as he could manage, then went about changing into his sleeping clothes. With a book in hand, Roxas smoothed down the blanket and was just about ready to turn in for the night.

“What are you doing?”

Axel’s voice behind him made Roxas jump. He spun around to see the man clad in his sleeping clothes, red hair loose from its usual tie and fanned out wildly down his shoulders. Roxas had always thought he served the most handsome man in the country, and perhaps took a little pride knowing few rarely — if ever — saw him in such a state.

“Preparing for bed,” he replied.

But Axel frowned, green eyes cast down to the makeshift bed Roxas had made on the chaise. “You’re not sleeping here, are you?” He didn’t actually wait for an answer, instead scooping up the fluffy blanket and carrying it back to the large bed. Roxas made to protest but Axel only carried on. “No, no, that won’t do. You’ll ruin your back and I won’t have that.”

“Then, where will you sleep?”

Axel smiled and motioned to the bed. “Here.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Absolutely yes.”

Roxas felt his face going hot. “We can’t share a bed. It would be-“

“Roxas,” Axel cut him off, chuckling. “In your time as my Valet you have seen me nude on multiple occasions. Don’t tell me you’re flustered by simply sharing a bed?”

“ I’m not-! ” he answered a bit too hastily. And really, why should he be? Axel was right, this wasn’t - or at least shouldn’t be - a big deal. It was just a bed.

So, swallowing his nerves, Roxas inched towards the bed where Axel had already climbed in and made himself comfortable. He watched the man for a breath, then awkwardly crawled under the blankets as well.

“See? Not so bad.” Axel chuckled next to him, voice so close, before he reached out to turn off the bedside lantern. The room fell dark but Roxas was hyper aware of the man next to him, warm under the blankets and breathing softly. Comfortable as the bed was, Roxas was unsure he’d get any better a rest than he would have on the chaise.

———

The next day was as bright and sunny as the last, and Axel decided they should join a few of their fellow guests outside for a game of croquet. Rather, Axel joined in croquet, while Roxas watched on from the sidelines. He was still far too nervous to mingle with any of the others, afraid he’d slip up and reveal himself. He didn’t know what the consequences would be, but he didn’t wish to find out.

Still, he enjoyed watching the game. He enjoyed watching Axel. The man, as always, was all bright smiles and loud laughter. Vibrant red hair looked like fire in the sun, and loose strands fell out of its braid, messy because he wasn’t as good at braiding it as Roxas, and he refused to let Roxas do the job for him.

“You’re sure you don’t wish to join?” Axel asked as he returned to Roxas’ side.

“Quite sure,” Roxas assured him. “I’m perfectly happy watching from here. Besides, I fear I’d exhaust myself in the sun if I tried.”

Axel hummed in thought, then pressed a hand to Roxas’ forehead. “Come to think of it, you do look a little warm. Should we call for some water?”

Roxas felt his face heat, and he did his best to blame the sun. “I’m fine, really,” he stammered in reply. “But... I may pop back inside for a spell. Escape from the sun and perhaps retrieve one of my books. I can find a more shady spot to sit and read, then.”

Axel nodded. “Alright, if you’re sure. I’ll still send for some water, however.” Then he flashed Roxas a grin that made the blond’s stomach do an odd flip. “But be quick, I wouldn’t want you to miss my triumphant win against Larxene.”

“Of course.” Roxas chuckled, then retreated to the great manor with a sigh of relief. The halls were blessedly quiet, with most guests outside enjoying the weather and scenic landscape, or gathered in a billiard room with drinks and games. It was a nice reprieve for Roxas’ rattled nerves. Only two days here and his stomach hadn’t stopped twisting with anxiety since.

“Undignified and unprofessional,” he scolded himself, frustrated with his own inability to simply play the part Axel wanted him to. For being so flustered even around the Master himself! What nonsense was that? Roxas had no reason to feel off balance around Axel, of all people.

Returning to their room, Roxas grabbed his book — a romance novel he was currently enthralled with — and took a moment to calm his ever present nerves. It was an odd adjustment to force himself to relax when, normally, he would be working, managing the house and Axel’s affairs from dawn until dusk. Now, he was going to... read. In the garden. It felt so foreign.

Leaving their room, Roxas made his way back to the main hall just in time to see a late arrival. The last of the guests were finally beginning to trickle in, and all would no doubt be in attendance by that evening’s dinner.

“Pardon me,” the newly arrived gentleman said, just as Roxas was passing by. “Do you know where Duke Herrington is?”

Roxas paused, forcing down his knee jerk reaction to offer the other a small bow. He wasn’t a servant here, after all. Instead, he did his best to stand tall and meet the other’s eyes without wavering. He was someone Roxas didn’t recognize, tall, with sharp features. Long, blue-gray hair pulled back into a neat ponytail, and a severe scar across his face. Roxas forced himself not to stare.

“The parlor, I believe. Last I saw him he was heading upstairs to play cards,” he replied.

The man huffed out a small chuckle. “I should have figured. He’s terrible at coming to greet his guests, isn’t he?”

Smirking, Roxas nodded. “Indeed.”

“Ah! There you are, I was beginning to wond-“ Axel’s voice echoed in the large hall, before it came to an abrupt halt, along with his approaching footsteps. Roxas turned to see his Master frozen on the spot, green eyes focused intensely on the newcomer who Roxas had been speaking to. His jaw worked and his hands clenched and unclenched before, slowly, Axel unstuck himself and joined Roxas’ side.

“Saix,” he said tightly, and suddenly it made sense.

Roxas looked back up at the man — Saix — to see him equally off balance, eyes darting to Axel, then away, then to Axel again. The air felt thick, as did the quiet that fell upon the trio, every sound that echoed in the entryway amplified.

Finally, Saix cleared his throat. “Axel. It’s... been a long time.”

“It has,” Axel replied. He tried to smile, tried to force that usually casual smirk he wore so well, but it was tight. Strained. Roxas hadn’t seen him look so uneasy, so... insecure in ages. It triggered something in him. Something fierce and protective. Winding and arm through Axel’s, he put on his sweetest smile and cleared his throat.

“Dear,” he said, startling Axel it seemed, by the way the man jumped and blinked owlishly down at him. “You know each other? I have yet to be properly introduced.”

Axel stared for a moment, before snapping back to reality. “Ah! R-right. Roxas, this is Saix.” He swept a hand out to Saix, then motioned back to Roxas himself. “Saix, this is Roxas. He’s my-” a thick swallow. “Partner.”

Saix’s golden eyes flashed between the two of them as realization dawned on his features. “I... see. It’s a pleasure to meet you, then, Roxas.” He offered a small bow, and Roxas returned it with what he hoped was a sweet smile.

“The pleasure is mine.” He squeezed Axel’s arm. “Now, Dear, I believe we have a game to return to? Larxene will be wondering where we are, and we don’t need her gossiping this early into the holiday.”

“R-right,” Axel nodded, then turned his eyes back to Saix. “It was... good to see you again.”

“Likewise.”

Roxas gave Axel’s arm a gentle tug to get him moving. “We’ll see you around, I’m sure.” Another overly sweet smile, before he turned and ushered Axel away, back to the gardens.

So that was Saix. Tall. Handsome. (If not a bit severe) And still with such a hold over Axel. Roxas’s grip tightened ever so slightly around his Master’s arm. A sense of pride and protectiveness filled him. Axel wanted to prove himself successful and happy and by God, Roxas would make sure that happened.

———

From that moment on, Roxas attached himself to Axel’s hip. Touches became more frequent, as did the pet names and the laughter. It was all a show, Roxas knew that. Knew it was to impress upon the others — or rather, one man in particular — that Axel was as happy and satisfied as one one could possibly be. Roxas knew it was all part of the plan.

And yet...

And yet.

Roxas found the laughter genuine. He found when he reached out to touch Axel’s hand or loop their arms together, it was on instinct. He found the ‘dears’ and ‘darlings’ rolling off his tongue so naturally, like he’d always said them.

Serving Axel as his valet had always been so easy going and natural. Slipping into the roll of his happy and doting partner was equally so. Perhaps to a frightening degree.

Roxas found himself awake one night. His body was tired and a little warm from a day of games out in the garden. He’d laughed and played and drank with all the others — with Axel — until it was time for dinner and an early retreat to bed.

But despite his exhaustion, Roxas couldn’t sleep, his mind far more awake and active than his body. He stared at the ornate ceiling above, listening to Axel’s soft breathing next to him. This too — sharing a bed with Axel — had begun to feel so normal. So much so that it... disturbed Roxas. There was an impropriety to his comfort. To the ease he had in his closeness with his Master. It was one thing to act affectionate and close. It was another to... feel it.

Slowly, softly, Roxas slipped out of bed with a sigh. He needed some water. That was his excuse. Some water or warm milk and then he’d be right back to bed, unnoticed and unmissed.

The halls were quiet, dark save for Roxas’ candle and the bit of moonlight that slipped through the curtains. So different than in the day, when the manor was bright and filled with the laughter of guests. In that moment, in the dark and the hush, Roxas longed for home.

Then, he frowned. ‘Home’, he realized, was Axel’s own smaller estate. Not the country nor city Roxas grew up in. Not the home his father built, and his mother furnished. Not any place Roxas could truly lay claim to. Just Axel’s manor. Just-

“It’s quite late to be wandering, is it not?”

Roxas jumped, gasping as the quiet was broken by a voice behind him. He nearly dropped his candle in fright, before spinning to see who had spoken.

There, behind him, looking equally startled and a bit apologetic, was Saix.

“My apologies,” he said quickly, hands held up to show he meant no harm. “I did not mean to frighten you. I assumed you’d heard me approach.”

Roxas swallowed down his heart which had leapt up into his throat. “It’s... quite alright. No harm done. I should have been paying more attention to my surroundings but, I’m afraid I was... lost in my thoughts.”

“Trouble sleeping?”

“Something like that, yes.” Roxas nodded. “I was hoping to sneak something to drink from the kitchen.”

Saix’s lips twitched in what might have been a smile. “How serendipitous, I was doing the same. Might I accompany you?”

Roxas hesitated. He had not forgotten his purpose of being here. His purpose to help Axel prove his worth to this man. Roxas still did not know what exactly had transpired between them, and it was not his place to know. It was only his place to protect Axel. Still, it would be in poor manners to deny the man.

“Of course,” he answered, just before the pause became too awkward.

And so they walked, side by side, through the dark and quiet manor, both more silent than the walls around them. Roxas began to wonder if, perhaps, the silence was worse than his own racing thoughts, when Saix cleared his throat.

“The countryside is beautiful up here, isn’t it?”

Roxas nearly jumped again, not expecting the man to speak. “Oh? O-oh! Yes, it’s quite lovely.” A pause, then he added, “Warm, but less so than... than our estate. It gets dreadfully warm in the summers, I’m afraid.”

“I imagine,” Saix replied and Roxas heard him chuckle softly. “When I moved I opted to settle down someplace north as well, for that exact reason. The heat and I simply don’t mix.”

“Ah, is that why you were so eager to go swimming?” Roxas asked, daring to tease just a little. It was true that a swim at the river had been quite refreshing, but it would be a lie to say that was the only benefit. There was something to be said about a group of attractive people shedding their usual frocks for something a little more water friendly. Roxas was certain a number of the more fashionable women’s swim attire would not have passed the measurement tests at the public beaches.

“Yes it’s quite... refreshing,” Saix responded, voice laced with a smirk. “And you? You seem less keen to join all the games. I often see you sitting on the sidelines.”

“I like to join in when I can,” Roxas replied. “But, it’s true, I enjoy watching more often than not. Sitting in the shade to read.”

“Ah, yes. I saw you’ve been reading The Moonlit Garden.” Roxas was about to defend his choice of reading material when Saix added, “A good choice. It’s a favorite of mine as well. I hope you’ve been enjoying it.”

Roxas let out a small, relieved breath. “I have,” he added quickly. “It’s a delight, and the author’s way with words is simply... inspired! And the characters! Don’t even get me started on Madame Leopold!”

Saix laughed softly and the two spoke in hushed but excited tones about their favorite novels. Saix was a lover of romance as well, which immediately elevated him to a man of taste in Roxas’s mind. He nearly forgot that he should hold any uncertainty towards Saix.

They chatted nonstop all the way down to the kitchens and back, and Roxas stopped abruptly when he realized they’d already reached his door.

“Ah, I’m afraid this is where I must leave you,” he said, a little disappointed that their conversation had to end. “But it was... nice speaking with you.”

Saix nodded. “Feeling a bit more at ease than when the night began, I hope.”

“I am, thank you.”

Saix returned his smile, but it melted away into something more somber. “By the way,” he said then paused, clearing his throat. “I’m... glad Axel found you.”

Roxas could only stare for a moment, surprised by the sudden admission. “You... are?”

“Yes.” Saix nodded again. “He seems... happy with you. I can tell he’s happy with you. I’m glad.”

Roxas paused, frowning. Was Axel happy with him? Axel certainly wasn’t displeased with Roxas’ company, and yet... and yet this was all the charade. An act to make Saix jealous. An act Roxas had apparently succeeded at, and which he felt rather ashamed of all of a sudden. “You’re sure?” he asked, the meek words tumbling out before he could stop them.

“I am.” Saix offered him a small smile. “Don’t doubt that. Doubt will... it will destroy you. What you have, what you cherish, so...” A small look of sadness crossed his features before Saix quickly wiped them away. He clapped Roxas on the shoulder and offered him another smile. “Goodnight, Roxas.”

Roxas heard himself bid the other man goodnight, before he slipped back into his quiet, private quarters. Axel was still asleep, as oblivious to Roxas’ return as he’d been when he left.

And Roxas? Roxas was just as unsettled.

———

The weeks rolled on, summer slipping by like a hazy dream of warm days and long nights. Laughter and games.

And Axel.

Always Axel, who was as warm and bright as the season itself, and who Roxas clung to more and more as the days passed. He held tight to their moments together, as he knew each second that ticked by was one gone forever. One second less that he’d be able to be by Axel’s side as his equal, even if it was still just a game.

One week remained, and it was decided that the last night would be a party, more grand than any of the festivities held thus far. A proper ball, as it were.

“It’s a masquerade,” Axel said.

Roxas paused and frowned down into his cup of tea. “I don’t have a mask,” he murmured, quickly going over everything he had packed for their holiday. “And neither do you.”

From where he stood leaning in the doorway, Axel grinned, Cheshire-like in a way that made Roxas’ heart do such funny things. “Ah, for once I am more prepared than you it seems!”

“For once,” Roxas said slowly. “I’ll update your score from zero to one if your preparedness is up to my standards.”

Axel laughed, bright and joyous, then ducked out of the room only to return a moment later, laden with a large box. “I had the advantage of knowing ahead of time,” he said with a wink. “And I had a mask prepared for you, along with a new costume. I had to send them one of your suits so they could have the proper measurements.”

“So that’s where it went,” Roxas mumbled, suddenly understanding why he had been unable to find his blue suit. “But, really, you didn’t have to-”

“Of course I did, my dove,” Axel replied before Roxas could finish his protest, and set the box down next to his chair.

My dove.

It was a pet name Axel had picked up during their time at the estate. A pet name to signal how close they were. A pet name he still sometimes said even in private. Roxas didn’t know what that meant. He was afraid to hope it meant anything at all.

Roxas had been taught early on in his career — and he had been taught well — not to covet things above his station. Not to envy his Master or want what his Master had. But then, Roxas supposed, it was not what Axel had that he wanted. What Roxas wanted-

“Thank you,” he said softly. Because it was all there was to say.

———

“Stop fidgeting.”

“Stop fretting.”

“I am not fretting, I am making sure you look put together.”

Axel only laughed, conceding to stop his fidgeting while Roxas straightened his suit lapels and made sure every last stitch was in place. “I must admit,” he hummed. “I know I insisted you take a vacation from your usual duties, but I missed having you dote on me.”

“Yes, well,” Roxas paused to examine how the suit jacket sat on Axel, before he swooped back in to adjust it some more. “It’s the last night here and the closing ball. You must look the part and I’ll be damned if you don’t go out in style. Your lapels have been crooked this entire trip and I won’t stand for it tonight. Besides, you’ll have my services back in full once we get home and I return to work.”

Axel grabbed one of Roxas’ fluttering hands, bringing him to a stop. Roxas made to protest, but paused. Axel was quiet, green eyes averted and gaze distance. An odd expression painted his features that Roxas couldn’t quite decipher, but it disappear as quickly as it came, replaced by a somewhat stiff smile.

“Roxas,” Axel chuckled. “That’s enough. You have to get yourself ready too.” He released Roxas’ hand and, slowly, Roxas stepped back to examine his work.

Axel had indeed gotten two custom suits made for them right under Roxas’ nose, and while Roxas had yet to try his own on (he’d yet to even really look at it), Axel’s fit him perfectly. It was black, with a subtle blue iridescence, accented with glittering beads and black feathers upon its epaulets. It synched at the middle, accentuating his thin waist and long limbs. He’d braided black beads and feathers into his brilliant red hair to match. His mask was that of a bird, black and feathered all the same, making him look like a prince of ravens. The very sight of him made Roxas’ blood run hot.

“I’ll go on ahead,” he said, casting Roxas a playful grin as he picked up his mask and headed for the door. “Don’t take too long, Dove. I’ll need my dancing partner.”

With that, he was gone, leaving Roxas alone in the room with his thoughts and his worries.

Pulling his gaze away from the door, Roxas’ eye settled on the oak wardrobe on the opposite side of the room. Axel had taken the liberty of hanging their costumes up and now, Roxas supposed, it was finally time for him to see what Axel had made for him.

Padding over to the wardrobe, Roxas pulled open its heavy doors and pushed aside their usual garments until he found the suit in question. White. So white is practically glowed amongst their darker hued clothes. Roxas pulled it from its spot and breathed in a small, awed gasp.

Glittering beads and white feathers decorated the suit, much like Axel’s. The sleeves were of a sheen, billowing fabric, and all its accents — buttons, and clasps, and trim — were gold. It looked like magic incarnate. Like a fairy prince, or an angel, or-

A dove, his traitorous heart supplied, and Roxas nearly dropped the garment, as though it had burned him.

“Don’t be foolish,” he reprimanded himself. “Do not want for things you cannot have. Tonight is your last night here. Just... just enjoy it. While you can.”

Once he’d given himself a proper talking to, Roxas hurried off to get ready.

“Evening, sir,” the woman at the door greeted him with a polite nod once Roxas finally arrived down at the ballroom. “Please wear your mask while inside.”

“Ah, of course.” Roxas paused to adorn the accessory in question. A bird, much like Axel’s though again all shimmering and white.

“And please, take a card.” The women held out a stack of playing cards, face down. Roxas eyed them, before turning his confusion back up to the maid. “It’s for a game, sir,” she added, smiling politely as she waited for him to move.

Slowly, Roxas took a card, thanked her, and ducked inside. Glancing at it, he found it to be a king of hearts. He knew not what that meant, but he tucked it into his breast pocket, and moved on to find Axel.

The man wasn’t hard to locate, even amongst the costumed partygoers. Tall, clad in all black with vibrant red hair, his laughter bright and loud and like a call above the din of the ballroom. He was busy talking with two other guests, a couple they hadn’t known upon arrival, but whom they’d made friends with quickly.

Roxas approached, reached out, paused, then slowly closed the final distance and looped his arm with Axel’s. The man looked down at him and made a small noise, a small sharp gasp of breath. Roxas could only look back up into wide green eyes, a little confused.

Whatever had alarmed Axel passed, and his smile came back full force. “Ah, my little dove, there you are! I was just telling these two fine strangers about you!”

Strangers indeed. But then, Roxas supposed the fun of the masquerade was in the pretending not to know anyone else.

“All good things, I hope?” 

“Of course!” Axel laughed. It was then that music began to fill the hall, the hired musicians starting the first song of the evening. “Ah, and what perfect timing. Would you join me for a dance?”

“Of course,” Roxas answered, perhaps a bit too quickly.

With a grin, Axel pulled him out onto the dance floor. One hand intertwined with Roxas’ own, while the other rested at the small of his back as they began to move.

“I do hope — and I say this with all sincerity — that you’ve enjoyed your time here,” Axel said as they waltzed around the room. “Even if it was at the expense of all your precious schedules and control.”

A smile tugged at the corner of Roxas’ mouth. “Loath as I am to admit, I did quite enjoy the break from my usual duties. It’s been a nice holiday.”

Axel laughed and oh, even behind his feathered mask he was radiant. “Good! I dare say this has been quite the gathering. Perhaps we should throw our own summer holiday sometime.”

Roxas hid the cringe that naturally sprung up when he imagined planning for such an event. Instead, he offered another argument. “Your estate wouldn’t fit this many guests.”

“Hmm, true... I have that land by the coast. Perhaps I should tear down the old lodge there for a new, grander estate.”

“Ah... yes, I suppose you could,” Roxas replied, softly. “It would be such a shame, I... I quite like that house.”

Axel ducked his head a little to catch Roxas’ eye. “Do you now?”

“Yes. Oh-!” Roxas quickly caught himself. “But I... it’s your lodge, you should do with it as you see fit!”

But Axel merely chuckled. “It is a nice home. Perhaps I should keep it.” Then, with a wink, “We should visit it soon.”

Roxas’ heart pulled tight in his chest and he struggled to find a reply, so instead he opted to change the subject altogether. “I was told something about a game tonight?”

“Ah, yes!” Axel spun Roxas ‘round. “I suspect we’ll be playing Matrimony tonight. You got a card, I presume?”

“Yes. King of hearts, though... I’m afraid I’m unfamiliar with matrimony. The game, that is.”

Roxas felt his face grow warm, but Axel simply laughed, good natured as always. “I see! You’ll be an Eligible, then. The game is made up of Eligibles — those are the red cards — and Pursuers, the black cards. The goal is for every person to match up with another person holding an opposite card.”

Roxas raised a brow. “That’s it?”

“Well, there are a couple rules,” Axel conceded with a grin. “The job of the Pursuers is, of course, to pursue. They must ask for a kiss from the Eligible of their choosing. Should the Eligible agree, they are paired up, or betrothed.”

“Ah,” Roxas nodded, seeing a bit more of the game in it now. “And if they should decline?”

“Then the Pursuer must move on and ask another. Though, Eligibles should be careful how many they decline. I believe there’s an odd number of guests, so they risk being the last one standing. There will no doubt be a punishment for the odd one out.” Then he added, quickly. “A good natured one, to be sure.”

“To be sure,” Roxas echoed with a small laugh. “And what color is your card?”

“Red as well. The eight of diamonds.”

“Ah,” Roxas hummed. “And Eligible as well, then.”

The song ended and they came to a stop, Axel leading Roxas off the floor for a drink. “Hmm, yes, though who knows, maybe I’ll trade with someone to become a pursuer.”

“You can do that?”

Axel laughed as he plucked a pair of champagne flutes up. “Of course! Though you can only trade once, so you best be sure you want to change sides. Now, look alive, Madame Princeton is coming our way and you know how long she likes to talk.”

From there, they were swept up in conversation after conversation, mingling with all manner of equally frocked and masked guests. There was an official explanation of the rules — Axel had been right about the game, and his explanation of it accurate — then the guests were released to play said game over the course of the night. Roxas expected people to pair up immediately, and one or two did, but it seemed the game was more about the slow flirtation and build up than anything else. An excuse for single nobility to mingle and flirt.

Axel led Roxas in another dance, and Roxas couldn’t help but notice how radiant the man looked under the glittering chandeliers, black mask amplifying the color of his wild red locks.

Another stop for wine and finger food, Roxas’ head already feeling a bit light from the alcohol. It wasn’t something he partook in that often. Axel was busy laughing and regaling Roxas with a story of his younger days when a young woman — Lady Grayson — approached.

“Excuse me,” she said shyly, wide brown eyes on Axel. “Would you... join me for a dance?”

Axel hummed and regarded the girl with a lazy smile. “Oh, I don’t know Madame, what’s in it for me?”

Roxas gasped and, before he could stop himself, smacked Axel on the arm. “Don’t be rude to the lady!”

Axel only belted out a laugh. “I jest! I jest! Alright, my Lady.” He held an arm out to the young woman. “I would be honored.” 

Lady Grayson gingerly looped her arm with his and Axel flashed Roxas one more grin before they sauntered out onto the floor. Roxas could only sigh and shake his head.

He watched from the sidelines, tucked away from the other mingling guests. Axel was grinning as he twirled the young woman around the dance floor, and she laughed along with him. Something unpleasant coiled in Roxas’ chest, and he did his best to tamp it down.

“Enjoying your evening?”

Roxas jumped at the low, cool voice next to him, and whipped his head around to see Saix had joined him without his noticing. The man looked as stunning as all the others, clad in a midnight blue that was near black, and a matching minimal yet elegant mask.

“O-oh, yes!” Roxas replied once he found his voice. “Just taking a small breather, is all.” He held up his mostly finished glass of champagne and offered the other a smile.

He and Saix had spoken regularly over the course of the holiday. Usually when Roxas was — as he was now — on the sidelines, resting or opting to read than join the festivities. He’d initially worried what kind of man Saix was. He seemed stern and a bit standoffish, but when he spoke to Roxas he was soft spoken, the hint of a smile ever present on his lips. Roxas wondered if perhaps Saix felt as awkward and nervous around the others as he himself did.

“I see,” Saix nodded. “Well, if you aren’t too exhausted already, would you honor me with a dance?” 

He held a hand out to Roxas, which Roxas stared at for a moment, considering. Finally, Roxas downed the last of his champagne, set the flute down, and placed his hand on Saix’s.

“The pleasure would be all mine.”

A smile — a real smile — graced Saix’s face, and he led Roxas out onto the floor. Saix’s dancing was not as lively as Axel’s, but he was graceful and Roxas enjoyed it all the same.

“I must say,” Saix began. “I didn’t know exactly what to expect from this little summer holiday, but it’s been quite enjoyable.”

Roxas laughed and nodded in agreement. “It has! I’ll admit, I’m a little sad we have to leave on the morrow.” He said it without thinking. The words almost surprised him, more so because he found he meant it.

Saix just chuckled, chest rumbling. “A bit like Cinderella returning home after the ball, hmm?”

Roxas nearly choked at the comparison. Saix had no idea how close he was to the truth, and Roxas would be returning to his usual roll upon their return home. He was about to reply when something caught his attention. A flash of red from the corner of his eye.

Axel.

The man was still dancing with Lady Grayson, spinning the woman in circles, a charming grin plastered across his features. Roxas watched, and that odd feeling coiled in his chest again. As he stared Axel looked up and their eyes met. Axel’s smile faltered and an emotion crossed his features that Roxas couldn’t read (and he was usually so good at reading the other man.)

“You seem worried.” Saix’s voice snapped Roxas out of his staring and brought him back to the moment. “If you’re concerned about him dancing with another, don’t be.” That hint of a smile pulled at his lips again. “Though, I hope I haven’t gotten you in any trouble by being your partner for a dance.”

“Oh, no.” Roxas shook his head and forced a weak smile back on lot his face. “It’s... it’s fine, I’m sure. I just hope he doesn’t wear that poor girl out.” It was a lie. It was a lie and he knew it, but Roxas needed to pretend everything was okay. Needed to pretend it didn’t make his heart ache to see Axel with another. Needed to pretend someone like Lady Grayson didn’t belong in Axel’s arms more than Roxas ever did.

The dance ended and Saix led Roxas back off the floor, giving his thanks and ducking away quickly as Axel ended his dance as well on the far side of the room.

Roxas snatched up a third champagne glass and took a hearty swig. His stomach was in knots and Roxas wished to do everything in his power to stamp out his thoughts as to why.

His solitude didn’t last long, however, as he was soon joined by Lady Ellison — who insisted everyone, including staff, call her by her first name, Kairi — and her friend Madame Aqua Kinsey. They were two of the nobility who knew Roxas’ true identity, and true to Axel’s word, they kindly said nothing about it.

“You’re both looking enchanting, as always,” he said by way of greeting. Aqua smiled and Kairi just laughed. 

“I do clean up rather well, when I want to,” she said, doing a little twirl to show off her lavish, pink ensemble.

“Rather well indeed,” Axel’s voice crooned from behind Roxas, making him jump. Axel had returned with a couple gentlemen in tow; Men Roxas recognized but couldn’t for the life of him recall their names.

Axel’s eyes were not on Kairi, but on Roxas himself as he slid in next to him. “And I see you got some dancing in while I was away.”

“Ah, yes,” Roxas replied, stiffly. He couldn’t read Axel’s expression, his searching eyes, and it made him anxious.

“Saix?” Axel asked, one brow raised ever so slightly. “I had seen you two speaking from time to time, but I didn’t realize you were so... close.”

Roxas downed another sip of champagne, suddenly feeling very much like a traitor caught in the act. “I wouldn’t say close. We just share a mutual interest in novels. He’s been... cordial. That’s all.”

Axel hummed and nodded as a smile that was not completely honest spread across his features. “And here I thought he was perhaps asking to pair up with you for the game.”

“No,” Roxas shook his head. “He didn’t ask. I don’t even know what card he has.”

“Oh! That reminds me,” Kairi interjected. “What cards did you all get? I got the three of spades.”

“Seven of clubs,” Aqua replied.

The men who had joined Axel — Baron Gracey? Was that one of them? — answered in turn. One black card and one red.

“We both got red cards,” Roxas added when it was his turn, happy to have a shift in topic.

“Ooh,” Kairi cooed. “Well, if that’s the case, perhaps I should match up with one of you. Axel, you wouldn’t mind if I stole your beau for the evening, right?” She laughed, sidling up to loop her arm with Roxas’.

“Actually,” Axel hummed and reached into his breast pocket to produce his card. He held it up between his fingertips, showing it to now be the king of spades. “I traded with Lady Grayson.”

“Did you now?” Kairi asked, voice teasing and playful. “Just who do you intend to pursue then?”

“I would think it obvious,” Aqua interjected, hiding a small smile behind her champagne glass. “You’ll be pairing up with Roxas, won’t you?” She watched Axel specifically, with another look Roxas couldn’t make heads or tails of.

Next to him, Kairi sighed and released his arm. “Oh, of course he is,” she said. “Go on then, get your kiss.”

Roxas’ stomach twisted at that. In all the excitement of the evening, he’d forgotten that was part of the game. Even if he’d remembered, he hadn’t anticipated Axel trading his card so as to match with Roxas. If that even was his intent. A dark and unhappy part of Roxas wondered if he’d actually intended to match with another.

Axel cleared his throat, pulling Roxas’ attention back to him. “Ah, right, well...” He seemed unsure — so unusual compared to his normally boisterous self — and his eyes wouldn’t quite meet Roxas’.

Roxas got the distinct feeling Axel didn’t want to kiss him and that made something inside him burn even greater. From the corner of his eye, he saw the two gentlemen watching, and was reminded they had an audience to keep appearances up for.

And maybe it was the champagne. Maybe it was the need to keep up the act. Maybe it was knowing this would be his only chance. But either way, Roxas huffed and put one what he hoped was a good natured grin, tugging on the front of Axel’s coat. “Oh, get on with it,” he said and pulled Axel down to his level for a kiss.

He hoped it looked natural. He hoped it came off as playful and sweet, like they were a real couple. He hoped Axel wouldn’t be upset. He hoped no one noticed the way Roxas’ heart raced. The way he almost melted into soft warm lips and breathed deeply the smell of Axel’s cologne.

He hoped nobody saw how his heart felt full to bursting with how much Roxas, in that moment, realized he loved Axel.

He hoped his heart could survive the crushing disappointment of reality when, upon the morrow, Roxas would go back to being merely Axel’s Valet.

Faintly, Roxas heard someone give a small cheer next to him, and he was quick to release Axel. “There,” he said, patting the front of Axel’s jacket to smooth out where he’d grabbed it. “Now we’re coupled.”

“And thus, we are two bachelors down,” Aqua commented with a small chuckle. “I’m afraid we will have to hunt elsewhere, Kairi.”

Roxas tried to smile and follow along with the conversation. But it all faded into white noise. His ears rang, his heart fluttering like a bird’s wing in his chest. He dared not look up at Axel next to him, afraid of what expression the man might regard him with.

It was a game, Roxas reminded himself. A game within a game. An act. If questioned, Roxas had so many excuses to give for kissing Axel. He wondered if it was enough to cover the truth of his feelings. 

He grabbed another glass of champagne when the opportunity arose. He wished to drown out his own thoughts and feelings with the sweet, bubbly liquid. It made his head spin when he was pulled out onto the floor for another dance with Axel. Made him bold enough to lay his head against Axel’s chest as they waltzed.

Saix’s words from before drifted back to him. A bit like Cinderella after the ball.

Yes, Roxas supposed, he was. After tonight the costume would come off and he’d be back to being just... Roxas. He was no abused waif like Cinderella was. He had a fine enough job and standing. But then... there would also be no prince coming to find him, with a glass slipper in hand. Axel would not-

“You seem tired.” Axel’s voice rumbled in his chest as he spoke, gently rousing Roxas from his thoughts. 

“Hmm?” Roxas hummed, thoughts slow and sluggish, more from the drinks than anything. “Oh, yes I... I suppose I am getting a bit tired.”

When he looked up he saw Axel looking back down at him, with a smile so tender Roxas was sure he was already asleep, and dreaming. 

“Let’s retire, then,” Axel spoke softly and gently led them off the floor. 

“The night is still young,” Roxas protested. “You haven’t even spoken to everyone here.”

Axel chuckled and ruffled Roxas’ hair. “We’ve spent the month with these people, I’ve spoken with them enough! Now come, it’s an early morning tomorrow and a long ride home. Let’s be the wise ones tonight and retire early.”

Roxas agreed. Reluctant, of course, but he agreed.

They said their good nights, though to who Roxas couldn’t be sure, as the night was quickly becoming a blur. All he knew was he was tired and his head was spinning and Axel’s arm was around him and Axel was warm and smelled so nice.

They were back in their quarters before he knew it, with Axel depositing Roxas on their big, soft bed while he knelt to undo his shoes.

Roxas laughed when Axel began to unbutton his shirt for him, making the man pause. “What’s so funny, Dove?”

“Normally,” Roxas snickered, “this is my job.”

Axel paused then nodded with a small huff of a laugh. “You’re right. I suppose tonight our roles are reversed.”

Roxas laughed as his shirt was removed, along with the mask he’d nearly forgotten he was wearing. “Don’t worry,” he said, then paused as a yawn interrupted him. “I shall be back to work come morning.”

“Of course,” Axel said softly, and if Roxas had been a little more sober, he might have heard the hesitation.

Once stripped of his beautiful, albeit not entirely comfortable costume, Roxas was tucked into bed. A hand ran through his hair and he hummed in delight, even as sleep came racing towards him.

Axel said something then. Something soft and warm and lovely and altogether lost on Roxas as he slipped below the waves of consciousness.

———

The next morning proved far less pleasant. Roxas awoke far too early, mouth dry and head aching. And as it was their day of departure, he was not allowed to sleep it off.

There was a flurry of activity within the grand estate, as guests and their servants bustled about, preparing for their departure. Carriages were lined up outside and servants hurried to and fro to carry luggage from the house to the waiting vehicles. Many of the guests congregated in the entrance hall, giving instructions and saying their long goodbyes.

A formal breakfast had been forgone in favor of food being delivered to the guests’ rooms upon their waking, which Roxas was thankful for. His head ached something fierce, and the chaos of the the entryway was bad enough. He wouldn’t have stomached a breakfast amongst the gathered nobles.

As they waited in the entrance, dressed and packed, and waiting for their luggage to be loaded, Axel and Roxas were joined by Kairi and Madame Aqua.

“I must admit, I’m quite sad to see the holiday end,” Kairi sighed, and Aqua hummed in agreement. 

“It was a lovely trip. I hope we can do it again soon.”

Roxas was quiet, tired and still nursing his headache. Though a part of him did agree. He was… sad to be returning home. It felt a bit like a fairytale ending, as foolish a thought as that was. Once back at Axel’s estate things would return to the way they’d ways been, Axel as master of the house and Roxas as… servant. High ranking servant to be sure, but servant none the less.

He was still caught up in his melancholy when Axel informed him it was time to go, their carriage having been loaded and pulled to the front of the house. They said their goodbyes - a process long in and of itself with how many guests still lingered - then made their way to the front doors.

Axel stepped out ahead of him, while Roxas lingered in the shade a moment longer, eyes adjusting to the bright morning sun.

“Departing soon?” a voice to his right said, deep and silky in timbre, and he looked up to see Saix standing by his side.

“Ah, yes,” he replied. “We have a rather long journey home, so it’s best we take our leave early I’m afraid.”

Said nodded, understanding, eyes watching the line of coaches for a spell, before he turned to Roxas with a small smile. “It was a pleasure meeting you. I greatly enjoyed our talks. If it is not too forward of me… I would be honored if you would write once in awhile.”

Roxas paused. Should he? This was the man Axel still held great resentment towards. It would be… improper to carry on such a friendship. Risky too, as it could potentially reveal Roxas’ true position in Axel’s house.

And yet… going home would be a lonely affair. Sure, he could still talk to Axel, but Roxas would no longer be on his level, relegated back to his position of Valet. He was, however, not on the same level as the other servants, holding a position above them and so rarely considered a part of their circle. Majordomo was a position of high regard, but it sat alone, neither equal to the Masters of the house, nor peers with the servants, and thus is was a rather lonesome position.

“I’m sorry,” Saix said, slowly, as Roxas took too long to respond, his eyes darting towards the carriage Axel stood by, talking with its coachman. “I’m afraid my question has put you in a terribly awkward position. I understand, please forgi-“

“I would love to,” Roxas interrupted. “Write to you, I mean.” It was impulsive. Rash. Perhaps unfaithful, in a sense, being Axel’s Valet and all. And once again, selfishly wanting for something above his station. But still…

“Wonderful,” Saix said, a relaxed smile crossing his features again.

Movement caught their attention, and both looked to see Axel climbing the stairs to the front door, though he stopped halfway when he saw Saix. He glanced between them, expression unreadable.

“I should take my leave as well,” Saix murmured. “I hope you have a safe journey home, Roxas, and I hope to hear from you soon.” With a quick but courteous bow, Saix retreated back inside, and only once he was gone, did Axel climb the remaining stairs to join Roxas.

Without a word, he offered his arm, which Roxas took, and led them down to the waiting coach. They climbed inside, the doors were shut behind them, and Roxas watched out the window as they began to move, and slowly the grand manor grew further and further away until it was but a speck on the horizon.

It was quiet then, he realized. He hadn’t spoken since departing and, stranger still, neither had Axel.

Axel sat across from him in the carriage, chin on his hand as he stared out the window, gaze distant. He’d been quiet all morning, Roxas realized. He wanted to speak up, to pull Axel’s attention away from the road and liven the mood but…

But as he stared at Axel, he felt the distance between them grow, the natural barriers between Master and servant erecting themselves once again. A veritable gulf in the few feet between them. Every step away from the manor and a bit of the magic faded, and Roxas could feel himself turning back into Cinderella at the stroke of midnight. He was no longer Roxas, dignified noble and Axel’s beau.

He was merely… Roxas. Valet to his Master.

So Roxas held his tongue. Retreated into himself as the long hours rolled by.

———

And still the silence remained even as they returned home. Axel retired to his room and Roxas his own. His usual suits awaited him and, reluctantly, Roxas changed back into them. He had work to do, after all. The House needed his instruction and organization. Even if his muscles ached from the long trip and he wished for nothing more than to climb into bed.

He tried to remind himself he was proud. That he lived for his work. That his happiness was here, serving Axel. But he couldn’t. Something had changed within him.

Something had changed in Axel too.

The silence between them stretched on long after they returned home. The usual banter they’d once had between them dried up like the pond in summer. To Roxas it seemed as though Axel were almost… uncomfortable with him around. His answers or requests for Roxas were kept short, curt almost, like a man wishing to end a conversation quickly. His gaze rarely even landed using Roxas, as though he could barely stand the sight of his Valet anymore.

Roxas’ heart ached, but more than that, he felt… afraid. Afraid he’d upset Axel. Afraid of what it could mean. Afraid of what would happen.

His fears were answered - confirmed - with his dismissal.

———

Roxas cursed as, in his hurry to pack, he kicked his foot against the leg of his bed, pain shooting up from his toes. In a fit of frustration, Roxas threw the book he had picked up against the wall, and it fell to the floor with a heavy thump. Letting out a groan, Roxas collapsed onto his bed, throwing and arm over his eyes to stop the flood of tears that suddenly threatened to spill over.

Self pity and chastisement stormed inside of him.

It wasn’t fair!

It was his fault.

Axel used him and threw him away!

Roxas forgot his place.

He had to take a few deep breaths to calm himself back down, to focus. He didn’t have time for this, he had packing to do, loose ends to tie up, preparations for the house in his absence and for the new Valet Axel would - if he hadn’t already - hire.

With a heavy sigh, Roxas sat back up, and with tired eyes, took stock of his little room. The letter on his bedside table caught his attention and Roxas reached out to grab it, a little more forcefully than necessary.

It was a stack of papers, really, the topmost one - and the only one Roxas got through before crumpling and eventually getting to packing his things - was his letter of dismissal. It didn’t detail the reason behind Roxas’ dismissal, leaving Roxas to wonder what he had done to displease Axel. We’re his affections too obvious? Was it the kiss? His friendship with Saix? 

Perhaps a little of all.

The papers below his dismissal, which he had yet to read through, detailed the minutiae for his departure. The compensation he would receive, what items he rightfully owned and what would be returned to the house, and so forth.

There would be, he assumed, a letter of recommendation. Axel would surely not turn Roxas out into the streets with no where to go and no recourse to find new employment. No matter how displeased he was. Axel was not so cruel.

As he flipped through the papers, Roxas’ eyes scanned for reference to such a document. Roxas was - perhaps morbidly - curious as to who Axel would send him away to. Axel had many connections he could ask to employ Roxas. Perhaps Kairi or Madame Aqua, if he was feeling generous and wanting to send Roxas to an employer he would be comfortable with. But really, it could be anyone.

After a page detailing some additional compensation Roxas was entitled to, he found it. Skimming through the page, Roxas’ heart dropped. In an instant, a wave of hot shame washed over him, a hand going to his mouth as his half eaten breakfast threatened to come back up.

Roxas’ hands shook as he read the page over and over again. Shame and humiliation slowly gave way to confusion, to hurt, and then… anger. Roxas suppressed the urge to tear the paper in half. To rip into it until nothing remained but shreds. Instead, the paper simply creased and wrinkled in his iron grip.

A white hot, blinding rage washed over him, and for a moment, the world around him narrowed to a single point.

———

Roxas always knocked when entering Axel’s office or personal quarters. Softly, politely, a man of grace and propriety. 

He did not knock today. Today, he threw the doors open, heard the dark oak slam against the wall as he entered Axel’s office like a hurricane.

His Master jumped and looked up from his desk, green eyes wide and startled by the sound, by Roxas, by his fury.

“You insult me!” Roxas spat, long strides carrying him across the room, where he tossed the letter of recommendation onto Axel’s desk. “Ten years! Ten years I have served you! Been loyal to you! Been your humble servant and your confidant, and this is my thanks? You insult me, Axel Faust.”

The words hissed and dripped with venom. He knew well he should not speak to a man of stature in such a way. His chance at another recommendation was gone now, but he couldn’t stop. His heart was already broken, he would not stand for such a slap in the face.

Slowly, trying to regain his composure, Axel stood. “Roxas, I-“

“Saix? You wrote a recommendation of my work to Saix? The very man you have held a grudge against to this very day! The man you wished so badly to make jealous that you roped me into your holiday charade!” Roxas’ voice rose and he was sure the other staff could hear him down the halls. “And did I not perform to your satisfaction? Did I not play your game to your pleasing? How dare you, Axel Faust! How dare you ask such a favor of me — how dare you treat me in such a manner — only to throw me out, and send me to the man you hate most! To humiliate me!”

“That was not my intention!” Axel all but yelled, words rushed and tumbling messily from his mouth as he fought to get a word in. “I did not recommend you to Saix as an insult!”

Snarling, Roxas countered, “Then what was your intention?”

“I merely thought... I supposed-! You two seemed to get along-“

“So what? We shared interest in novels! He was courteous to me! What are you implying? Or do you resent my friendship with him? Hope to shame me in front of him by exposing my true identity in needing his employment?”

“No! I don’t- Roxas, I did not intent to imply... I just thought, if you were to work somewhere else, you would enjoy his company!”

“And why must I work somewhere else?” Roxas carried on. His eyes burned, and he dug his nails into his own palms to keep himself from crying. He would not shed tears in front of Axel. He would not. “What have I done to insult you so, that you would wish to send me away?”

“Roxas, please,” Axel begged, voice tired and weak. “Please.. you haven’t... you’ve done nothing wrong. I promise, you have not displeased me in any way.”

“Then why? Why must you send me away? Why can’t we-“ Reset the clock. Return to a time when Roxas’ heart didn’t ache. When he didn’t find it hard to breathe around Axel. When he didn’t want for things he had no place longing for. “Why can’t we go back to how we used to be?”

“Because I don’t want to go back to go back to how we used to be!” Axel shouted, fist slamming onto the oak wood of his desk. “I want more! I want you!” He drew in a sharp breath, as gasp, as though he’d startled himself. Still, he continued, rounding his desk to pace the room. “Ten years, Roxas. Ten years you have been my loyal servant and closest friend and for ten years I have loved you!”

Roxas’ heart stuttered in his chest.

“I tried, Roxas, my dear, I truly tried. I thought I could love you from a distance. I thought I could be selfish and pretend you were mine for a holiday and be satisfied, but I can’t!” Axel’s voice trembled as he spoke, hasty and breathless. “I can’t do that. Not to myself, nor to you. I cannot shackle you here for my own selfish gains.”

He looked at Roxas then, stricken and pained, face flushed and eyes pleading. For a moment, Roxas could only stare back

“You... you foolish, stupid man,” he finally said with a hiccup. He blinked as his vision began to swim and felt hot tears roll down his cheeks. He didn’t know if he was speaking to Axel, or himself. “To think I believed I was the only one whose heart ached and longed for something I thought we could not have.”

There was a breath of silence. Roxas stared and Axel stared back, green eyes wide, cheeks flushed as the truth settled between them. Then he was moving, shoes hitting the floorboards in four long strides before he was upon Roxas. Long arms wrapped around him and lips collided, rough and clumsy and so warm.

Roxas’ breath shuddered, hiccuped, and he clung to the front of Axel’s shirt. He’d had it pressed just yesterday, it will be all ruined now. He couldn’t find it in himself to care.

When Axel finally pulled back, his hand trailed up Roxas’ body to cup his cheeks, holding him as though he were the most precious thing in the world.

“It’s rather,” Roxas sniffled. “Improper, isn’t it? For a valet to love someone so far above his station?”

Axel could only laugh and plant a few soft kisses into Roxas’ golden hair. “Good thing you aren’t my Valet. You were dismissed this morning. But please... please stay. Stay here with me, Roxas.”

Roxas choked out his own wet laugh and tucked his head up under Axel’s chin. “I would like nothing more.”