Chapter Text
With art kids touching up their sketches, band geeks pouring over their music sheets, and jocks getting a little rowdy with their horseplaying, it's a typical lunch period for the students of BBC High. Of course, there are also normies busying themselves with their homework and lunches, popular kids, staying enviable and untouchable at their quasi-pedestal lunch tables, weebs playing their mobile rhythm games in isolated spots, and those that just don’t quite fit in one category of high school cliques, doing whatever it is they usually do. So, nothing out of the ordinary.
But the lull of chatter and the sound of cutlery, characteristic as background noise to Chaewon and her friends’ lunchtime, is interrupted by a loud groan from Hyunjin. On her side, Chaewon feels Yerim reach out to placate her girlfriend. For whatever reason her best friend’s significant other is acting up now, Chaewon just can’t be bothered by it. There are other things requiring her attention.
While unbothered is one of the defining traits the (student body-appointed) Princess of BBC High is known for, especially if it concerns some random plebeian outside of her tight friend circle, there is one thing that makes her tick.
Tinged with green, her eyes take in every gentle touch of the hand and sickeningly sweet glance exchanged between the couple in one corner of the cafeteria.
Heejin is even wearing Hyeju’s leather jacket now. Like she used to. Guess Yeojin was right about her ex and the dance club’s ace finally being official. How annoying.
Another groan and Hyunjin pointedly coughs from Yerim’s other side. “Chaewon, ahem.”
“God, Hyunjin, what is it?” She snaps, clenched fist coming up on the table from where she’s been keeping it in the pocket of her pleated skirt. She glares at the other girl for good measure.
“Excuse you,” Hyunjin says, gasping in offence. “I’m not the one that’s causing all these lunchtime disturbances!”
Chaewon frowns. “What are you talking about now?”
“I’m talking about the love confessions, Chaewon!” Hyunjin hisses and nods her head in the direction of a group of boys to the side who immediately turn their gazes elsewhere when Chaewon spares them a glance. “One of those losers is gonna ask you out in maybe five minutes and that’ll cause another scene like it did yesterday.”
“And the day before that,” Yeojin adds around a mouthful of Lays.
Chaewon looks to Yerim, for support, for defence, for anything, but her best friend only rubs Hyunjin’s back to calm her girlfriend. What a traitor.
“How long are you going to keep up this too pretty to date rule?” Hyunjin asks.
“Until graduation, what did you expect?” Chaewon says, tilting her chin up and quirking a brow.
“Oh my god,” Hyunjin says, hands grabbing the sides of her head in exasperation. “I am begging you, Chaewon. Please just pick one and end our misery!”
“You’re being a little too dramatic, Hyunjin. Why don't you just finish your sandwich?” Chaewon dismisses, turning back to stare at Hyeju and Heejin.
“Actually, she’s not. The confessions are getting ridiculous, Chaewon.” Yerim finally speaks, gesturing to Yeojin as the youngest crumples her empty Lays bag after scarfing down the contents in record time. “We barely get fifteen minutes on average to eat or do our homework in peace.”
Chaewon opens her mouth to argue, Yeojin is a growing kid, so her eating speed has nothing to do with Chaewon’s dating preference but Hyunjin reaches around Yerim to grab Chaewon by the shoulders.
“I just want to spend some of the lunch period making out with my girlfriend again, without some smelly dude walking up to our table and ruining the mood.” She says, eyes taking on a desperate and deranged quality to them.
“Please. You and Yerim can always just make out elsewhere.” Chaewon dodges away from her grasp with a disgusted look, hands frantically pressing down the creases Hyunjin's weirdly large hands left on her blazer. “Besides, is it my fault that they want me?”
“They’ll want you less if you’re unavailable,” Yeojin says helpfully, and a little hopeful, as she looks at her, suddenly shy.
Chaewon rolls her eyes. Yeojin isn’t her type and she thought they'd already established that. Perhaps she has to resort to letting her down less gently than what Yerim had requested.
Though she's not in the mood to do that at the moment so she huffs out whatever and turns back to that particular corner of the cafeteria again.
Hyeju and Heejin have gotten a lot closer while she wasn’t looking. Hyeju’s chin is on Heejin’s shoulder as she holds her from behind. Just like Hyeju used to do with her.
Anger bubbles up in Chaewon faster than her best foaming cleanser. The similarities are too striking to be coincidental. Chaewon is the cheer team captain, and Heejin is the dance club leader. Chaewon has kept her hair blonde for three years now, and Heejin recently bleached hers to a similar shade. Chaewon was voted top 1 for BBC High Campus Crush three years in a row, and Heejin was always the runner-up. Hyeju is basically dating a budget version of her.
“Hey, this conversation isn’t over, Chaewon,” Hyunjin's annoying voice calls out to her again.
Chaewon turns, ready to lash out but she becomes aware of a guy standing by their table.
The smug, knowing look from Hyunjin is infuriating and it proves how right she is.
Chaewon sighs and turns to the guy.
“Aren’t you Sebastian from the school band?”
“No, I’m Jeonghan from the theatre club.”
Chaewon rolls her eyes hard.
“Okay, Sebastian from the school band." She emphasizes. "I’m not interested. Do me a favour, okay? Save us some time by going back to your table and telling your friends that my answer for all of you is no.”
“But I haven’t even said anything yet—” he starts
“You don’t have to. You look like a college senior.” Chaewon gestures to his face. “Get it in your head that I’m too pretty to date any of you and that is not a challenge to beat, it’s the truth. Please leave.”
“A college senior? Hey—” Sebastian tries to reach for her but Hyunjin and Yeojin are quick to jump to their feet.
“Walk away if you know what’s good for you,” Yeojin warns with a glare. Her eyes glint with so much malice, that it's actually scary even with her lacking height.
“Mhmm." Hyunjin agrees, flexing her long fingers and cracking her knuckles. For all of her tendencies to annoy Chaewon, she is useful for things like these. "You’ve embarrassed yourself enough, Sebastian.”
Although Yerim remains seated, her best friend adds in her two cents to send the suitor packing. “Bye, Jeonghan from the theatre club. Sorry about the rejection.”
He walks away in defeat and Chaewon shoots her friends a grateful look as they all settle back down.
“You still expect me to pick someone? These people are trash.” Chaewon says, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Well, I never said anything about picking a boy,” Hyunjin mutters defensively.
“As if any of the girls are better.”
“Hey, that’s not true. There are plenty of great girls here to date!” Yerim says, patting her on the arm so Chaewon reflexively uncrosses them.
But she rolls her eyes at the optimism. Even if that were true, Chaewon’s still not interested in other girls if they aren't a certain brooding bad girl, wears a leather jacket and rides a motorcycle to school-type, preferably begging to get back together with Chaewon because they can never get over her as she is irreplaceable and unforgettable.
Turning to stare longingly at the lost love of her life and her new lover, Chaewon resigns herself to the unpleasant truth. She's sorry to her friends, but the rule stays.
For Yeji and her friends, lunch is the only definite time they get together, being in different grades and all. She knows she should ask Ryujin and Chaeryeong how their classes have been so far or even wonder where Yuna is but she can't get off her phone, her thoughts occupied with her crush.
From: Jisu
Message: so sorry! i fell asleep on u. 😭 time difference is still a bummer to navigate. been busier with school since I joined the choir here, too. my new friends are nice tho! we hung out last weekend. tell the kids I said hi! let’s video call again on friday if you’re free. miss you lots, yeji! 🥰
To: Jisu
Message: Heeeeey. No need to say sorry. You must have been tired. 😓 I get that. I’ve been busy too. Track season is starting again so that means more training! The kids said hi back and to take care of yourself. I’m free on Friday! I miss you too, Jisu-ya. Give Bella a kiss for me. ☺
From: Jisu
Message: oof. sorry again. something came up and i can’t do friday. how’s sunday night for u?
To: Jisu
Message: Aww. That’s fine. I got a full shift on Sunday but I’ll be home as soon as it’s over so we can talk.
From: Jisu
Message: but then you'd be too tired 🥺 and you should really be getting more rest, yeji
To: Jisu
Message: I won't be! You know me. I always have energy in excess. 😁 As long as it's not too late for you, I can stay up and we can talk.
From: Jisu
Message. hmph. typical yeji. you’re always so sweet. too sweet for your own good sometimes.
The hairs on the back of Yeji’s neck start to stand and the next thing she knows Ryujin is leaning in too close to her for comfort with a shit-eating grin on her face.
“And she’d be even sweeter as a girlfriend. If only Jisu knew that,” The younger girl says, elbowing her on the ribs.
Yeji jumps back in alarm and hugs her phone close to her chest, even though it’s much too late.
“I thought I told you to stop reading over my shoulder,” she whines and looks to Chaeryeong for backup but the other girl only gives her an apologetic smile and a shrug.
“I'll only do that if you stop reading your texts with Jisu every chance you get like they’re love letters,” Ryujin replies, winking.
Yeji pouts and grudgingly puts her phone away to pick at her lunch.
“How’s Jisu, by the way?” Chaeryeong asks.
The question brings a smile to Yeji’s face.
“Jisu’s doing alright. You know how she is. She makes friends easily.”
Chaeryeong nods, resting her elbows on the cafeteria table. “Are you still thinking of visiting her for winter break?”
“Oh, definitely. I’m still saving up for it. I actually picked up a couple of extra shifts this week.”
Chaeryeong nods again and then nearly jumps off her seat as Yuna announces her arrival with an unearthly groan.
“I missed out on the Hawaiian pizza because Miss Bae held me back after Home Ec! Ugh!”
“Don’t they have pepperoni left?” Ryujin is quick to ask.
Yuna closes her eyes dramatically as she slumps on the table.
“I don’t want pepperoni. I want Hawaiian pizza.” She opens her eyes wide, like the antagonist from Penthouse, and slams a shaky hand down on the tabletop. “Hawaiian pizza is what I deserve!”
“You know, I think I saw Chaewon take the last slice. She was next in line with us, right, babe?” Ryujin looks at Chaeryeong who nods in confirmation.
“Of course, she did,” Yuna groans, looking in the direction of the most coveted table in the cafeteria. “She’s literally God’s favourite.”
“She’s probably not even going to eat it,” Chaeryeong says, eyes staring into space as she gets deep in thought. “The cheer team members are always on diets. It’s so sad.”
“Well, in that case, why don’t you buy it from her, Yuna?” Ryujin asks.
“No, never mind. I’m not going up there to talk to her.” Yuna visibly shudders. “She’s the most popular girl in school. She can ruin my high school life with a flick of her wrist.”
“She can’t be that bad. Aren’t you taking AP Chem with her, Yeji?” Ryujin suddenly asks, roping Yeji into the conversation.
Yeji pauses in thought before looking at Chaewon from across the cafeteria and shrugging. Being in the same grade, they have had so many classes together over the past three years. For senior year, they have AP Chem together. But they’ve never spoken to each other. Not because Chaewon is the most popular girl in school and Yeji is just… too normal or whatever. They just had no reason to.
“But at the very least you’re familiar with each other!” Still, Ryujin isn’t ready to let it go. “Come on now, Yeddeong. Take one for the team.”
And Yuna jumps in to further her agenda. “Do it for me? Please, I’ll tell Jisu how caring and how brave you are if you do, Yeddeong!”
Yeji rolls her eyes. Yuna doesn't have to do that.
“Is Hawaiian pizza really that important to you?” She asks.
Yuna’s puppy eyes intensify and Yeji finally gives in with a sigh.
“Fine. I’ll ask, but no promises. Chaewon could have very well eaten that pizza by now.”
Yeji rises to her feet and crosses the room. Looking over her shoulder, her friends shoot her varying gestures of support to go for it. But it’s clear that some other person has the same idea as her because she sees a boy from the nearby table rising to his feet and walking to where Chaewon sat with her friends.
Yeji stops in her tracks and looks back to her friends for help. Ryujin is miming things wildly with her arms now like they’re playing charades while Yuna dramatically collapses against the table, a hand on the back of her neck like she's having a stroke. Chaeryeong could only cover her face with her hands and avoid Yeji’s gaze.
Thankfully, though, it takes no more than five minutes for the boy to walk away. And when Yeji sees that he doesn’t have the pizza with him, she regains her courage and continues on with her quest.
She taps Chaewon on the shoulder and tries not to feel intimidated by the looks her friends give her. “Um, excuse me,”
“See? I told you!” Yerim, the cheer team vice-captain, exclaims.
“Hey, Cap! What’s up?” Hyunjin, a familiar face for being a track teammate, greets her. “Didn’t know you had it in you. Or that you were into… that.”
She inclines her head to the side, nodding to Chaewon who rolls her eyes in reply.
Yeji squints in confusion but focuses on her task.
“Hey, Hyunjin.” She greets back. “Not sure what you guys are talking about. I just came to ask Chaewon if—”
Chaewon heaves an exasperated sigh and throws her hands up. Out of respect, Yeji stops talking. She looks at Hyunjin for answers only to catch the eye of their sophomore friend, whose name Yeji vaguely recalls to be Yeojin. For all the times Yuna has talked about wanting to befriend her, the younger girl never mentioned how hostile Yeojin could look at someone.
The competition for that slice of Hawaiian pizza sure is tough, Yeji concludes. Still, she has to try for Yuna's sake.
She opens her mouth to ask again but Chaewon beats her to speaking.
“Ugh. Yes. Fine, I’ll go out with you.”
Yeji blinks. Did she hear that right?
“I mean, I guess you’re cute,” Chaewon mumbles, giving her a once over and then looking away like she felt bashful for admitting it.
“Cute? She’s hot. And freakishly tall!” Yeojin whisper-shouts.
Yeji has no idea if she interrupted their friend group's compliment-each-other-time, but she's only here for the pizza and she has to let them know.
“Umm, I—” she starts but Chaewon cuts her off again.
“You have track practice with this one later, right?” She points at Hyunjin who looks too happy all of a sudden. “Let’s talk then.”
Before Yeji can even get a word out, Chaewon jumps to her feet and so do her friends. She watches in horror as the blonde girl takes her tray, with the Hawaiian pizza, with her.
Sorry, Yuna. Yeji thinks, looking down at her shoes.
While she laments her friend's loss, three booming claps erupt and echo in the cafeteria. Yeji looks up and sees Hyunjin standing on top of a table.
“Listen up everyone!” Her track teammate yells into the cafeteria, hands around her mouth to amplify her voice. “Miss Park Chaewon has officially lifted her no dating rule in favour of going out with Track Team Captain Hwang Yeji. Starting today, you may no longer bother her or us with your silly asses! Enjoy the rest of the lunch period, losers.”
A deafening silence ensues that lasts for an entire minute. In the next, the chatter returns in volume. Students talk very loudly and openly point at her and especially Chaewon. The boy from earlier and his group of friends look extremely disappointed. Yeojin is still angry as she glares at Yeji. But then somebody wolf-whistles and shouts, You go, Yeji!
Satisfied with the reception, Hyunjin gets off the table. As soon as her feet touch the floor, she kisses Yerim on the lips. Like a gavel on a podium, Chaewon flips her long hair over her shoulder and leads her group's exit from the cafeteria. Yeojin tears her gaze from Yeji and dutifully scurries behind her.
In the aftermath of the announcement, Yeji returns to her friends. They look exactly like how she feels.
But Ryujin is the only one brave enough to ask out loud. “What on earth just happened?”
"Okay, what do we know about Hwang Yeji?" Yeojin starts as soon as they’re out of the cafeteria and marching into the empty hallways of BBC High.
Chaewon keeps silent, recalling if there’s anything that stood out to her concerning the girl. They have AP Chem together but Yeji only ever sat quietly in the back of the class and did her work. So, she has nothing.
However, Hyunjin does.
“Yeji is our captain. She’s super fast. Holds the fastest record for the 400m dash in the entire tri-state area.” She says proudly.
“She’s also very kind. I heard she stopped some of the troubled teens from bullying a Freshman just last week.” Yerim adds, snuggling into her girlfriend’s side.
“Right. What about her dating history?” Yeojin’s prodding is alarmingly serious.
“I don’t think she ever dated. She only hangs out with Shin Ryujin and Lee Chaeryeong and everyone knows those two are a couple.”
“But there’s that tall sophomore too,” Yerim points out.
Yeojin shakes her head. ”You mean Shin Yuna? They’re not a couple either.”
The bell rings sooner than they like and students begin to file out of the cafeteria.
“Great. So there’s nothing left to discuss, right?” Chaewon says, finding the whole conversation pointless now. “We should head to class.”
“No, not yet! Can’t you see that this is exactly why it's problematic?” Yeojin exclaims. “We don’t know anything about Yeji, which means she isn’t relevant enough to have people know stuff about her!”
Chaewon frowns. It’s not like her to second guess her choices but the younger girl’s concern is intriguing. Yet unnecessary. Even if Yeji isn’t known around bigger social circles, Chaewon’s standing at the top of the pyramid should be enough to make her relevant. Besides, Yeji has the looks (handsome face, model height, and sharp cat-like eyes) and that’s good enough for her.
Yerim must think so too because she counters Yeojin’s argument rather quickly. “Aww, come on. Isn’t that part of her charm? She’s… mysterious.”
The word stays with Chaewon. And in the sudden rush of students going up and down the hallways, she feels familiarity brush against her arm.
Turning her head, she latches onto the cutting gaze that she knows and knows her too well. It's almost cruel how Hyeju passes by so casually as if she wasn't a soul once intimately acquainted with Chaewon. Hyeju and her perennial brand of sadness and sporadic happiness that Chaewon wore like they were her own. Except both of those are wrapped around some other girl's shoulder now. Some girl who suspiciously has too many quirks resembling Chaewon’s that she can’t help asking, was she just Hyeju’s type?
“Fun fact,” Hyunjin suddenly says. “One of Yeji’s nicknames is Baby Wolf, too. Crazy, right?”
Chaewon snaps to attention, breaking off the brief eye contact she shared with her ex, that bit of information is the catalyst to her realisation: Hyeju isn’t the only one with a type, so now, it's become a game for two.
Yerim smiles and puts her arm around her, squeezing her.
“Forget what Yeojin said. You could have done a lot worse than Yeji.” Her best friend says and Chaewon feels optimistic for once. “I mean, she’s hot and she smells good!”
Yeji slams her locker shut and takes a moment to breathe.
Today has been one of the longest days of her high school life. Thanks to Park Chaewon deciding she’s worth her time, at least that’s how the gossipers like to phrase it.
Her friends had varying opinions about the whole thing. After the initial shock had passed, Ryujin and Yuna celebrated, claiming it was a godsend opportunity to elevate their ranking on the social hierarchy of BBC High. On the other hand, Chaeryeong felt wary, erring on the side of caution that it might just be an elaborate prank to embarrass her.
While Yeji loves her friends a lot, she thinks they’re being silly.
First of all, it’s not a good thing to measure one’s worth on high school social rankings. The world is bigger than BBC High and life doesn’t end with graduation – something her mother, a child and adolescent psychologist, always wanted her to remember. Second, Chaewon can’t possibly be that mean, right? She only ever seemed to mind her own business and Yeji did nothing to upset her, so why would she go out of her way to prank her? Third, the idea of dating Chaewon doesn’t appeal to Yeji because she already has her eyes, ears, and entire being set on Choi Jisu (who unfortunately moved to Canada for senior year) and she’s determined to win her over despite the distance.
To summarise, Yeji thinks this is a big misunderstanding; the most popular girl in school thought Yeji was going to ask her for a date when she only wanted to ask if she could buy her lunch from her. What she has to do now is find the opportunity to clear things up with Chaewon.
Her fitness watch beeps to signal the time so she heads out to the field. Passing by some of her teammates, she nods to them in greeting, smiling awkwardly at all their congratulations on dating Chaewon, and drops her black gym bag on the usual spot in the grass. As she pulls her hair into a ponytail, a mustard yellow bag lands by her feet and she looks up at the owner.
“Hey, Cap. You doing alright?” Hyunjin greets her with a cheeky smile.
“Oh, Hyunjin.” Yeji straightens up. “Good timing. I wanted to talk to you. You know, about what happened at lunch?"
“Hold that thought.” Hyunjin turns and waves at the cheer team gathering on their designated practice spot across the field.
Yeji panics, grabbing Hyunjin’s raised arm and pulling it down to her side. “No, don’t call her over!”
“Why not? Don’t tell me you’re still shy even after asking her out,” Hyunjin laughs and puts that arm around Yeji’s shoulders, playfully jostling her as they watch Chaewon walk towards them with a bouncy Yerim and a sulky Yeojin following close behind.
“Don’t be nervous now, Cap. Chaewon isn’t even all that, you’ll soon find out since you’ll be going out with her." Her face suddenly gets serious and she drops her voice to a whisper. "Just do us a favour and try to keep it going for as long as possible, alright?”
“You don’t get it, Hyunjin. I wasn’t even—” Yeji swallows. The words rush her brain but clump together at the tip of her tongue like a bottleneck. She shakes her head in frustration. “I don't like Chaewon. I'm not-"
Yeji stops her rambling because Chaewon has arrived, stepping up to her. Arms crossed in front of her chest, her eyes scan Yeji up and down, twice, before she nods as if satisfied with something. Then, her gaze locks on Yeji’s and the urge to run laps nips at the track team captain’s heels.
“Hey,” Chaewon greets with a quirk of her brow.
“Right, I think I will give you two time to talk.” Hyunjin detaches herself from Yeji’s side and walks to Yerim, pulling her and Yeojin along to give them a few metres of space.
It's as if the bottle breaks from the bottom because the words escape Yeji as Chaewon’s big eyes and searching gaze make her feel shy. It doesn't help that the girl is so much smaller than her that she has to crane her neck down to look at her. It's like having a staring contest with a puppy.
Right! A puppy. Yeji’s going to think Chaewon is a puppy, a cute puppy, which should make it easier to talk to her. She just has to say it now: there’s been a big misunderstanding. I wasn’t asking you out. I just wanted to ask, for my friend, if you would let her have your pizza.
But Chaewon breaks their eye contact and stares off to the side. In the distance, Coach Hirai rounds up the cheer kids to begin practice.
“We should go home together,” Chaewon says.
“Excuse me?” Yeji splitters.
Chaewon rolls her eyes at the undignified response. “I’ll give you a ride. Wait for me in the parking lot after practice.” She turns on her heel and looks over her shoulder to say, “Later, Yeji.”
For the second time today, Chaewon leaves Yeji speechless.
Hyeju is with Heejin now, the Walmart version of her. So, if Chaewon’s going to put herself out there, she’ll have to make do with Yeji, the Walmart version of her ex.
Chaewon reminds herself of this as she feels one eye twitching in annoyance. She looks out the window of the front passenger seat once more and, with every ounce of patience she has left, calls out.
“Yeji,” She keeps her voice even, seeing how guarded the other looks, feet glued to the pavement and hands tightly wrapped around the strap of her bag, so hesitant to get inside Chaewon’s BMW.
(“So, what do you think, dear? It didn’t take much to convince my dad to get it for me.”)
“I promise,” She drawls, for emphasis, “I won’t bite.” Yeji swallows hard and Chaewon fails to hold back an eye-roll. “Not even if you ask me to.”
“I’m just giving you a ride home.” This time, she tries a small smile and Yeji finally grips the door handle.
“Okay,” The girl laughs nervously.
She slides inside, clumsily getting into the seat and yelping when her head hits the ceiling.
“Sorry, I’m just… your car looks expensive. I hope I don’t break anything.” Yeji mumbles, looking up to check for damages as she rubs the top of her head with a hand.
(“Not bad, but I still prefer my bike. Seat’s comfy, though. Wanna drive to our spot so we can make out in the back?”)
“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Chaewon says in an attempt to keep herself in the present. Which mostly works.
Yeji shoots her a small grin and Chaewon has to look away. For something to do, she boots up the navigation and watches as Yeji inputs her address.
Hwang Yeji wears her long dark hair down and a black-and-white windbreaker Chaewon swears is the exact same one Hyeju’s worn a couple of hundred times. Knowing she’s to blame for how she and Yeji got here does nothing to console her as the truth sharply pokes at her.
Even the dissonance between Yeji’s good-looking, intimidating appearance and Yeji’s social ineptitude hurts. Because Chaewon looks at her and sees a colour so close to her favourite. Except, it’s in a slightly different shade. Brighter, when Chaewon much prefers it dark.
The atmosphere is cold and heavy with nostalgia. The radio is off but the music of her grief is loud in her ears. She can’t give in though. She has a plan now and she has to make it work. She has to let Hyeju know how it feels to be thrown away and replaced with a second-rate rip-off.
Chaewon takes a deep breath and turns to her passenger, determined to make conversation.
“For someone who had the courage to ask me out, you sure are very quiet now,” She looks up at the other girl from under her lashes. “Are you usually this shy, Yeji?”
(“Why aren’t you saying anything? Please say something.”)
“Ah, well. About that... sorry, I’m just not very good with people.” Yeji’s smile is sheepish. She can't even look her in the eye. “Also, I’ve been trying to… how do I put this?”
(“I don’t want to start yelling again. Save yourself the trouble and leave me alone,”)
“Oh, it’s okay.” Chaewon quickly says, letting up on her charm. The last thing she wants is to make her feel uncomfortable. ”I get that. We can start slow. I don’t mind.”
“No, that’s not what I mean—”
“How about I pick you up tomorrow morning? We can talk some more before school.” Chaewon suggests, pushing down the unease creeping up her stomach.
(“But… How long do you want me to leave you alone?”)
“Chaewon, please. Please. Will you listen to me first?” Yeji’s eyes sparkle earnestly when she asks.
So, Chaewon purses her lips together and nods.
“See, during lunchtime, when I came over to your table, well, I wasn’t going to ask you out or anything. I just wanted to buy your lunch from you.”
Her brow furrows. The clawing feeling in her gut is now a creature baring its fangs at the first sign of trouble.
“What are you saying?”
Yeji breathes in deeply. Her hands motion animatedly as she explains.
“Yuna wanted Hawaiian pizza but she missed out because she got held back in class. Ryujin said you took the last slice and Chaeryeong said you probably wouldn’t eat it because you’re on a diet so they asked me to ask you for it!”
“What?” Chaewon hears herself say.
“I’m sorry, Chaewon.” But Yeji is so sincere when she says it. “This is just a big misunderstanding. I really had no intention of asking you out.”
(“I don’t know, Chae. But I’m starting to think it’s best if we just stay away from each other. Don’t drive by my house from now on.”)
Chaewon’s eyes dart around the car as she struggles with the emotions rolling over her like someone threw wet paint at her — regretful blues, resigned whites, and mortifying reds.
The navigation screen tells her they’re less than a block away from Yeji’s house.
“Get out,” It’s less cold and more defeated than Chaewon intends to sound.
Yeji nods in understanding and offers her an apologetic smile. “Thanks for the ride, Chaewon. Again, I’m really sorry.”
“Get. Out,” she yells with as much venom she can muster. Which is not a lot.
With a drive safely home, Yeji disappears into the distance, blending seamlessly into the backdrop of her middle-class suburban neighbourhood.
A sob resounds within Chaewon and she drops her head against the steering wheel. Yeji's likeness to Hyeju has been obvious thus far. Chaewon should have seen it coming how Yeji would end up leaving just like Hyeju did.
As expected, Yeji’s friends do not share her sentiments about successfully clearing up the misunderstanding with Chaewon. Now, she has to deal with two pairs of kicked puppy eyes looking at her as she takes her books from her locker.
“Guys, stop,” Yeji whines, almost begging as she leans against her locker door, exhausted before 7:30 AM. They’ve been like this all morning since coming to their house to catch a ride with her to school.
“But we were so close, unnie,” Yuna says, looking longingly out the nearest window.
Ryujin nods solemnly. “We could have had the connections. Invites to the most exclusive parties. Special treatment. Priority lanes. We could have been like freaking Moses, parting the Red Sea, whenever we walk these halls.”
Chaeryeong purses her lips and trades a look with Yeji who can only shrug.
“Ugh. I can’t deal with your dramatic asses anymore. I have English with Miss Son for the first period.” She announces and turns to Ryujin. “Fix your face, babe. You better be coping when I see you at lunch.”
Ryujin pouts sulkily but lets up when her girlfriend presses a brief kiss to her lips. With that, Chaeryeong blends in with the traffic of sleepy teenage zombies and disappears from their sight.
Yuna huffs to signal that she’s going to start ranting so Yeji opts to double-check the contents of her bag.
“Okay, just because Chaeryeong gives zero f—” Yeji slams a hand over her mouth lightning-quick, pulling it back just as fast so only the cuss word is lost to the silence, “—ks doesn’t mean we’re wrong about this. You’re kind of an idiot for letting this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity slip, Yeji.”
Yeji stares at her palm for a second and then wipes it on the side of her pants.
Not minding how she has to stand on her tiptoes, Ryujin throws an arm over Yuna’s shoulder and dramatically sighs. “You know what they say: love is blind. That’s what Yeji has become. In a way, some of this is Jisu’s fault.”
Yeji pauses from organising to glare at the younger girl. “Hey, make fun of me all you want but leave Jisu out.”
“Who’s Jisu now?”
The question, so innocently asked by a rather pure voice, has them turning.
“Chaewon! And friends,” Ryujin says, pleasantly surprised and immensely satisfied with their presence. “Hello! Umm, we are Yeji’s friends. Good morning to you all.”
Hyunjin and Yerim both wave with their hands not occupied with holding onto each other and Yeojin offers them a strained smile.
Chaewon herself smiles briefly at Ryujin and Yuna, promptly throwing a look at her own friends, who take a few steps back. As they do, Chaewon closes the distance between her and Yeji.
“Can we talk?” she asks, a slight furrow on her forehead, between her brows.
Ryujin and Yuna are quick to take the hint. With arms linked, they side-step away from Yeji and squish themselves against the wall by the lockers. It’s not exactly out of earshot, but it does create a similar impression.
“About what?” Yeji asks, taking in Chaewon’s appearance curiously.
Her hair is styled perfectly as it always is with the signature headband. Her clothes, designer brands from head to toe, are pressed and presentable as if she walked out of a high-teen magazine spread.
And yet, Yeji can tell that there’s something different with her today.
While she feels relieved over clearing things up yesterday, she knows she could have handled things better. Especially after seeing Chaewon look so… hurt. The guilt of knowing she had a lot to do with her looking so sad had Yeji lying awake in bed for an extra couple of hours last night, Chaewon’s teary eyes and trembling lips replaying in her mind.
“Sorry for snapping at you and ditching you yesterday,” Chaewon is strangely able to pinpoint the location of Yeji’s thoughts. Her shoulders rise and fall tensely as she takes a deep breath to brace herself. “Can we please just forget about it and start over? Come and have lunch with me and my friends later. Your friends are welcome to join.”
Chaewon tilts her head in Yuna and Ryujin’s direction. Both look like they’ve been told Christmas is coming early.
But Yeji is confused again. There shouldn’t be a reason for them to start over. “You don’t have to do that just to make up for raising your voice or anything. Really, I get it and I have no bad feelings about that.”
“Well, I have.” Chaewon’s eyes flicker to hers and Yeji almost takes a step back in reflex, startled at the determination burning in them. “I know you said you weren’t asking me out and that’s fine. But right now, I’m telling you, if you want to survive senior year, you’re gonna have to go out with me ”
Yeji’s jaw drops in shock at the threat, “But why should I?”
“Because I said so!” Chaewon clenches her hands into fists at her side and puffs her cheeks out in annoyance, reminding Yeji of a pufferfish with its spikes out in defence.
Perhaps it’s the same. Because, underneath Chaewon’s flaming spiciness, is a bitter resignation that can only be attributed to loss. She sees it in her friends every time they break up and conclude it’s for good this time. She herself has felt it on several occasions, but most notably when Jisu first told her about moving away to another country with her family. Chaewon lost someone recently and she deals with it the only way she knows how – by being mean.
Still, Yeji can’t let the girl walk over her. “You can’t just say that and expect me to give in.”
“Yes, I can.” Chaewon grabs her by the shoulders and pulls her down so their faces are only inches away. She lowers her voice to a whisper. “Look, Yeji, it’s not like I’m asking you to kiss me and fall in love with me. We just need to sit together during lunchtime and be seen going home together for a while.”
“Chaewon,” Yeji lightly holds onto Chaewon’s wrists to push her hands off of her. “This is really ridiculous.”
Maybe it’s the gentle touch that wakes her or maybe it's because the flare of her anger has burned out. Either way, Chaewon takes another deep breath and Yeji sees the exact moment her spikes withdraw as she deflates. For a second, the Princess of BBC High looks so fragile and small in her skin. Stripped down of her usual bravado and glamour, she looks just like the rest of them, a kid fumbling with the complications of life.
“Fine, I admit it’s too much to think about in the morning,” Chaewon says, dropping her hands to her side and stepping away from Yeji. “Let’s revisit this conversation later at lunch.”
She fixes her already immaculate hair and turns to her companions. When she looks at Yeji again, she’s back to her usual self, seemingly invincible.
“And don’t even think about running away from me, Hwang Yeji.”
Even though that is exactly what Yeji wants to do, the cloud of sadness that lingers over Chaewon’s head as she walks away tugs at her heart. She looks at her friends, wondering if they see it too, but judging by their awed faces, she knows they don’t.
Yeji lets out a helpless chuckle as Yuna calls out unnecessarily, “She’ll be there at lunch! We’ll make sure of it.”
Yeji actually showed up to lunch. Though that might have more to do with peer pressure from her younger friends than her own willingness.
After all, she made it known how she doesn’t want anything to do with Chaewon twice now. And both times are a strong hit to Chaewon’s pride more than she would like to admit. Because how can the whole school want her so bad but she gets rejected by this one hot and, funnily enough, socially awkward jock she didn’t even take notice of until about twenty-four hours ago?
If Hyunjin could hear her thoughts, she’d laugh at her and say it serves her right, probably owing it up to karma or something. And Chaewon hates it because she’d be right.
Grumbling under her breath, Chaewon glares at the car in front of her. She squints at the licence plate, checking it against the hastily scribbled note Ryujin gave her at lunch. The time on her phone reads 3:50 PM. It’s been fifteen whole minutes since one of her dad’s secretaries came by to take her car home, all for the reason so she can catch a ride with Yeji in her… Toyota Prius.
She tries not to shift uncomfortably on her feet, knowing that the other students are looking at her curiously as she’s obviously waiting for someone. And that’s another thing to add to her list of grievances: Park Chaewon never waits for anyone, everyone waits on and for her.
Not to mention, she’s hovering over a questionable-looking car.
God, The level of slumming it she’s doing for Yeji is insane. She doesn’t even want her for real. She just needs her to be the placeholder for Hyeju until Hyeju comes crawling back to her or until Chaewon forgets about her, whichever comes first. With all these hits she’s taken to her morale to get Yeji to play along with her plans, she can’t back out now. The game has begun and it better pay off. Preferably with Yeji agreeing to the terms stipulated earlier.
The parking lot is mostly cleared out by the time Yeji finally makes an appearance.
“What took you so long?” She rounds on the girl as she walks up to her. “I know you don’t have track practice. Our training schedules are always synced up.”
Yeji looks genuinely surprised to see her. “Chaewon? But what are you still doing here?”
“Didn’t I tell you that we’d be going home together again?” She says, annoyed.
“Uh, yeah. But I can’t do that because I brought my car today.” Yeji gestures to the hideous hybrid behind Chaewon. As if she hasn’t spent the last half hour waiting in front of it. But Yeji doesn’t need to know that.
“Oh, how fitting.” She feigns innocence, blasting her sweetest smile. “I actually didn’t bring mine so that means it’s your turn to give me a ride.”
Yeji gives her a sheepish grin in return and Chaewon already knows she hates whatever she’s going to say. “I can't. Sorry. My shift starts in like ten minutes.”
Now, she finds out Yeji works an after-school job. Chaewon screws her eyes shut in frustration.
“I really don’t get it, Yeji.” She says, letting out a shaky laugh. It’s enough to make Yeji look at her in mild alarm. The fact that she finally has her attention fuels her. “Am I that unappealing to you?”
“Or are you just so dense that you have no idea what’s in front of you?” She gestures to herself, voice rising now. “Everyone else in this school would kill to be in your shoes. And those are not even fancy shoes to begin with.”
Chaewon looks behind her and points an incriminating finger. “Just look at your car!”
Yeji gasps audibly and it's actually the first time Chaewon sees her look so affronted. Given how she hasn't been the nicest to her since yesterday. Remembering how Yeji has been so consistently uninterested keeps her going.
“Being with me will elevate your social status. People will fawn at your feet. Highly beneficial for someone like you, which I’m sure your friends already know." Chaewon lowers her voice and smirks. "You should be smart like them and just go along with it. I promise I won't ask you to do much.”
It's Yeji's turn to screw her eyes shut. Chaewon watches in anticipation as she throws her head back, grasping at the back of her neck. The sight triggers her memory and not for the first time, she's reminded of how Yeji and Hyeju are so similar. Hyeju does the same thing when she's about to explode.
Just when she knows the girl is about to start yelling, which Chaewon honestly asked for, Yeji flips her expectations as she counts out loud instead.
One, two, three, four.
Yeji inhales with every odd count and exhales with every even count.
Five, six, seven, eight.
It's so strange and Chaewon can't move, can't take her eyes off her.
Nine, ten, eleven, twelve.
She bends her neck to the left.
Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen.
Then to the other side.
Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty.
Yeji opens her eyes and drops her hand to her side.
“Whew, okay.” She puts her hands together once, like it's the last step to her ritual;, and meets Chaewon's eyes with a now calm gaze.
“You know, Chaewon, this is high school.” Her shoulders shrug, extremely relaxed. It's like Chaewon hadn't spent the last five minutes trying to rile her up. “In a year’s time, we’ll be out of here. And in another year, only a handful of people, the ones that matter, will remember us so I don’t really care about social statuses or whatever.”
Chaewon is too stunned to speak.
“Like you said, my shoes aren’t fancy. I’m not like you or most kids here. I have to work hard on track to keep my scholarship and I have to earn money for the things I want. It's better that I spend my time on those."
Not knowing any of that, Chaewon feels bad.
But even though Yeji's smile is a little sad, it's not bitter.
"If you’ll excuse me, I have a job to be at and I’d rather have my boss not yell at me.”
While Chaewon feels guilty for being so elitist, she can only show remorse the way she knows how.
“If you get in that car and drive away without me, I’ll make sure you regret it." Already, she regrets opening her mouth, but she can't stop. "I can ruin you in ways you can’t even begin to think of, Hwang Yeji.”
“I think I’ll take my chances," Yeji says with a light grin. "Besides, I don’t think you will.”
“Why not?” She asks, eagerly anticipating Yeji's comeback so she can hit her with something harder.
But Yeji just goes ahead and disarms her yet again.
“Because you’re not a bad person, Chaewon. You’re just very used to getting what you want and getting away with whatever terrible thing you do or say to get it."
In an instant, her knives clutter by her feet, the blades dulled and useless.
"And that's because you haven’t had a lot of experience with rejection." Yeji offers her another smile and it should make Chaewon mad but it doesn't. "So, you’re not really being mean to me for the sake of it, you’re just hurt.”
How else is she supposed to respond to that? She can't, so she doesn't even bother trying.
Like with everything else, Yeji doesn't fault her for it. So unbelievably kind until the last minute.
“Sorry, I can’t give you a ride. Be careful on your way home, though.”
Chaewon watches her get in her car and drive away. With her gone, Chaewon finally takes notice of someone else in the area, who likely heard their entire argument.
As if it couldn't get any worse.
“I really can’t handle any more bullshit today.” She says, exhausted.“Especially if it’s from you.”
Hyeju straightens up from where she’s leaning on her motorbike. She takes her time walking around it, picking up the spare helmet with both hands.
Chaewon raises an eyebrow. Is she—
"I figured.” Hyeju sighs and stares off into the distance. Chaewon follows her line of sight, easily making out Heejin’s figure approaching from the school’s gym.
Chaewon closes her eyes. She really can't win today, huh?
“But you know, I wouldn’t call it bullshit if it’s true." And now Hyeju is going to pick a fight with her, too. "You and I both know that she said that a lot nicer than I ever could."
The change in tone surprises Chaewon. She opens her eyes just in time to see Heejin waving enthusiastically at Hyeju whose face bursts into the brightest smile.
“You finally found a good one too, huh, Chae?" Hyeju mumbles without looking at her, eyes still on Heejin. There’s no mistaking the sincerity in her words when she says, "I’m happy for you.”
Chaewon turns on her heel before her tears could fall.
Yeji doesn’t even get two blocks away before she hits the turn signal and makes a U-turn.
Chaewon looked so lonely with her head down. She had already been up until late last night thinking about how she left Chaewon in her car yesterday, her conscience definitely wouldn't let her leave the girl alone like that a second time.
She spots Chaewon on the sidewalk not far from the school entrance. She pulls up next to her and rolls the window down but Chaewon only gives her a withering look and keeps walking.
“Hey, Chaewon. I’m sorry.” Yeji calls out.
“You seem to be saying that a lot." Chaewon refuses to look at her but she can tell she's been crying with her eyes red and her voice watery. "Is that your favourite word?”
“No, but I really am," Yeji says, keeping up with Chaewon as she continues to walk down the street. "That was mean. I shouldn’t have said all those things.”
“Well, you weren’t wrong. I had it coming.” Chaewon says, quick and dismissing.
“Okay, that may be true,” Yeji winces lightly at the glare Chaewon directs at her, “but it still doesn’t feel right to me.”
It isn’t uncommon for her to call out her friends’ occasional unsavoury behaviour, typical of teenagers, but she and Chaewon do not have that kind of familiarity yet. Reproach should always come from a place of concern, Yeji firmly believes. So, calling out Chaewon the way she did, though well-intended, might not come across as such.
The thing is she got the steps wrong. The two of them should be friends first. Thinking about it, it isn’t a bad idea to give that a try now, is it?
Chaewon finally stops in her tracks and Yeji takes that as her second chance.
She steps on the brakes completely and leans over the centre console of her car.“Will you let me make it up to you? Get in and I’ll give you a ride home before I go to work.” Although she's not sure how Yuna and Ryujin do it, she does her best impression of their puppy eyes to convince Chaewon.
Chaewon looks away from her but her shoulders are noticeably less stiff when she asks, “Whatever happened to I’ll think I’ll take my chances?”
Yeji's smile at her is helpless. "That's what I'm doing,"
It takes a bit for Chaewon to respond, maybe out of disbelief, so they're left staring at each other in silence for a whole minute.
“You’ll be late and your boss will get mad at you,” Chaewon says with a raised brow. Perhaps as a last attempt to get her to leave.
Yeji only shrugs at that. All things considered, Jeongyeon is likely to understand.
“It’s fine. Please, hop in.” She pats the passenger seat invitingly.
“Actually… where do you work?” Chaewon asks. Her small hand fidgets with the strap of her tiny leather backpack as she looks down at her feet shyly. “Do you mind if I tag along?”
Yeji knows what she’s trying to say before she even gets the words out — she doesn't want to be alone.
“I just don’t feel like going home yet,” The girl says, rephrasing her loneliness and downplaying it with a shrug.
It takes a moment for Yeji to answer, not because she doesn’t want to. It's just that the urge to give Chaewon a hug is coming on too strong now, but that hardly seems appropriate. Maybe later on, when she’s made progress on the whole friend thing.
“I promise I won’t make any trouble for you. So, can I?” Chaewon asks again.
“Yeah, sure. I doubt my boss would let me live if she finds out I turned down a customer.” Yeji says as a joke.
Chaewon’s face breaks into a smile and Yeji feels at ease. That one looks so much better on her.
It turns out Yeji works at a coffee shop called The Feels. The name is cheesy as heck, Chaewon knows. But they do have good drinks and the ambience isn't bad.
So, who cares if Chaewon spent the better part of the last four hours watching Yeji work? Despite her clumsiness on the espresso bar, the girl looks cute in her apron and her toothy customer service smile is endearing (which, honestly, reminds her of a cartoon character that she'd have to ask Yerim about later).
Chaewon's homework remains open but untouched on the table in front of her. What's left of her second order of strawberry yoghurt smoothie has melted into a yucky, watery consistency.
Yeji approaches her booth for the first time and she looks up. She smiles at Chaewon but it's tapered at the sides, softer and more genuine than the ones she gave to the old man who asked for an extra packet of brown sugar or the hyperactive child who spilt an iced chocolate drink on the floor that she had to clean up.
"Here you go," She places a small plate containing one chocolate chip cookie in front of her and beams.
Chaewon scrunches her nose in confusion. "But I didn't order this?"
Yeji has to look away all of a sudden, turning slightly to the direction of the counter where her boss is, sorting out the last few pieces of pastries on display.
"It's on the house.” Yeji says, voice low as she explains.“My boss said I shouldn't miss this opportunity to talk to a pretty customer so..."
Chaewon locks her gaze on her and Yeji actually blushes, making it impossible to resist the urge to tease her.
"So you do find me pretty?" Chaewon mumbles, playfully narrowing her eyes. "Were you just playing hard to get all this time?"
Yeji immediately shakes her head in her subdued version of indignation.
"Of course, I think you're pretty! Everyone knows you are. But that's beside the point." She coughs, calming herself and fidgeting with her shirt collar. "I'm still not interested in you like that."
Chaewon rolls her eyes, a retort on the tip of her tongue about how she isn't interested in Yeji like that either but she keeps it to herself as Yeji apparently has more to say.
"However," She says emphatically. "I can be a friend who occasionally goes home with you and eats lunch with you and your friends."
Her eyes go wide with surprise, and immediately she wonders if it's a joke. But Yeji is as sincere as she has been from the start.
It’s inspiring, honestly, but Chaewon still has a long way to go to get to where Yeji is. So, she does what she does best.
"That depends on whose car we'll take,"
"Please don't insult mine again." Yeji pouts at her teasing and it's quite cute. "I spent all of sophomore and junior year saving up for it. You know it's eco-friendly, right?"
Chaewon giggles at the look of building anticipation on Yeji’s face, like she’s a minute away from giving her a lecture on the many pros and few cons of hybrid cars.
"Okay, okay, I won't." She catches her breath from laughing, wiggling her eyebrows at her new friend to keep the playful vibe going. "I have to ask, though, does this friendship entitle me to more therapy sessions in the parking lot?"
It's Yeji's turn to laugh. She rubs the back of her neck sheepishly but her countenance remains open and inviting, like Chaewon’s orthopaedic bed with her favourite blanket and army of Kirby dolls stacked on top.
The thought has her yawning into her hand. After all, it's getting pretty late and it’s been a long, long day.
Yeji's gaze is suddenly full of concern when she looks at her, mellowing down. "Hey, I'm no professional like my mom but I can promise I'll be there to listen. And I’ll call you out when you ask for it.”
"Fine,” Chaewon says, rolling her eyes but this time, it's only for dramatic effect. “You gotta teach me that counting thing some time though."
Their banter is put to a stop as Yeji’s boss calls for her. Chaewon, surprisingly, doesn't mind because it gives her the opportunity to admire the girl's side profile.
But even that is short-lived as Yeji turns back to her too soon, her warm hand coming on top of Chaewon's open palm.
With her fingers closing firmly around Chaewon's as if she's tucking a promise into her hand, Yeji says, "My shift ends in ten minutes so wait for me. I'll drive you home.”