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---XXX---
"I fucked up."
The thought ran around Shadow's head for a few days now. He didn't know what week was coming up, nor did he know the conversation that he had with Dr. Paitons only hours before he came over. The only thing that Sonic knew was Shadow had yelled that he needed a break, and that was it.
So, here laid the Ultimate Lifeform himself, in the middle of floor of the kitchen, wishing that he was just strong enough to get up and grab on the knives from the Butchers block. Who know, it might ease the pain of everything else that was going on in his head.
"I fucked up."
He wished that he could have the amnesia back so he could forget how the hero's face crumbled as he left. Shadow was for sure certain that he was fighting back tears as he left, and just like that, he ruined eight months of their lives they had built up together.
Finally finding strength, he pushed himself up and grabbed the closest knife he could and lashed out at his left arm. The pain of cutting himself brought Shadow back to senses and he shoved his arm in the sink and blasted the cold water on. He hissed as the water hit the self inflicted wound, causing the blood the dilute and fall down the drain. He shut his eyes tight, trying to stop the tears that enviably fell, and choked back a sob.
"I fucked up."
---XXX---
Rouge let a out a deep sigh as she walked up to the door of Dr. Paitons' office.
"Knock knock," She chimed as she walked in. The young therapist had her head down reading over some papers, fiddling with her brassy red hair. Brown eyes glanced up.
"Oh, Agent Rouge," she quipped as she went back to her notes, "to what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you today?"
"Cut the small talk Sara. We know what week this is. If I'm doing the Wellness Checks on Shadow I want to know what state of Shadow I'm going to have the pleasure of walking in to."
"Oh so our last session ended...abruptly. We were talking about what would entail for his future with his immortality. Unfortunately I don't think he will be in a great state."
"Okay. So you have no clue on what I'm going to walk into," Rouge bluntly said with annoyance.
"I'm sorry Rouge but I really don't," Dr. Paitons apologized, "But when you do check on him, can you let me know how he is doing. This session ended really badly and he's not answering his phone so I can follow up. I'm really worried about his mental state right now."
"Will do," Rouge said as she left the office.
---XXX---
He looked up at the apartment building for the longest time as he fiddled with the inhibitor ring the other had gave him.
"So that's where his non-broken one went."
Sonic jumped not expecting anyone else there with him. He whipped his head around and saw Rouge.
"Hey," she said with a small smile. It quickly faded when she noticed the blue one's eyes and body language told her that something was wrong, letting out a deep sigh, "What did he do?"
"He said that he needed a break," Sonic mumbled out quietly.
"So I'm dealing with 'I'm going to push everyone out of my life for a week so I can wallow in pity for the week and then apologize for my actions for like a month' Shadow," the bat groaned, "Awesome." She turned her intentions back over to Sonic.
"He didn't mean it Sonic. Somewhere during this week was when the ARK raid happened. He also had a bad session with Dr. Paitons so he's purely acting out on negative emotions and doesn't mean at word of what he says. He probably needs a break from himself and not you."
"But...he sounded so serious though," Sonic tried to argue back.
"That's because he's hurting," Rouge cut him off, "Sonic you are the best thing that has happened to him in the longest time and if you don't believe me why don't you take the first Wellness Check on him so you ask him everything yourself?"
"...you wouldn't care if I did?" Sonic asked, breaking the silence that had grown between them.
"Just text me on how he's doing and I'm fine with it. Now go talk to him."
---XXX---
He didn't know what he was supposed to expect when he entered the apartment, but seeing Shadow wide eyed with his arm in the sink and a knife covered with his blood was defiantly not one of them.
"What happened?!" Sonic gasped pulling the hybrid's arm out of the sink and watching the blood run down from where he hacked at himself. Shadow didn't say a word, he just stared at the hero that went into his bathroom and pulled out the first aid kit and wrapped his arm with bandages.
"Shadow, I need you to talk to me," Sonic demanded as he continued to wrap his arm, looking up at Shadow who looked completely stunned.
"...why are you here," Shadow finally uttered out, his voice sounding hoarse.
"Because I love you."
"But...I fucked up..."
"Who care if you fucked up!" Sonic told him as he finished bandaging him, "We can work past this, but I need to know what's going on inside that head of yours."
"No."
"Shadow, you've been my rock to keep me balanced, let me be yours."
"No..."
"Shadow, please...let me help you this time."
"Why?! You're just going to end up like Maria!!!"
Shadow wished he could just stuff what he just said back into his mouth. He closed his eyes tightly, waiting to hear the door open and the blue one to leave, but it never happened. He felt Sonic's arm wrap around him and pull him in tight to his chest. He pulled away to look into those emerald greens that were full of kindness that the ebony hedgehog did not deserve.
"Shadow, I'm not going to die anytime soon," Sonic reassured him.
"You will though," Shadow whispered back. He could feel tears running down his cheeks as he tried to keep himself stable, "You're not immortal."
"Then I'll figure out some way to make to make myself immortal! I'll figure out what god I need to make a deal with, and--"
"You don't want be immortal," Shadow cut the blue blur off.
"But--"
"No buts Faker," Shadow sighed, wrapping his arms finally around the other and buried his head into the crook of Sonic's neck.
"...do you want to talk," Sonic asked causing to the other to pull away, sighing heavily.
"It's just...I don't know. I know I love you. I love you so much that when Sara got talking about the future and what it would entail...my thoughts go to losing you in the end and..."
"You're scared of losing me," Sonic finished for him, watching the other pace around his apartment.
"Exactly," Shadow told him, finally settling down onto the couch. Sonic came over and sat beside him, their hand intertwining together tightly holding on to what sanity it felt like was left.
"I promise you Shads, I'm going not going anywhere anytime soon. So let's just live in the now, knowing that were both here and make memories that last lifetimes from now." Another deep heavy, but more content sigh came from the Ultimate Lifeform.
"I know. Thank you, for grounding me."
"You've been my rock, so it's time to repay the favor," Sonic half laughed out, "Just...leave the knives alone next time."
"I will," Shadow replied, "I love you."
"I know."