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Alec looks over at Jace hitting the punching bag, only half-listening to the story Isabelle is telling him, running on the treadmill to his right. Around ten minutes ago, Jace got rid of his shirt, and Alec is captured by the way his muscles flex, how the sweat cascades down his body, his broad shoulders moving with each blow, his six-pack and slim hips firmly on display.
Alec lets out an involuntary sigh. Isabelle follows his gaze and starts snickering.
"Someone has a cru-ush," she sing-songs.
Alec furrows his brow at that, then huffs a laugh. "Nah."
"Sure you do. Why don't you ask him out? He's been checking you out for years," she says, grinning from ear to ear.
Alec blushes. "He's not into me. And he's not my type."
"You're a bad liar. Why else would you stare at him?"
"Gender envy," Alec says without thinking. He pushes the stop button and jumps off the treadmill, hoping that his sister missed the slip of his tongue. But of course, she didn't.
"What's gender envy?" she asks, helping Alec to put weights on his barbell.
"Just that I like his physique," Alec says. Technically, it's only a white lie. Technically.
"I don't get it. Why can't you just say that he's hot like any other girl would?"
Alec sits down on the bench, worrying the inside of his cheek between his teeth. His heart is nearly beating out of his chest. This could be the moment. The moment he tells her the truth about why he quit ballet, the true reason for why he chose martial arts and worked on his muscle build. Why he chopped off his hair. Then he could tell her that he is Jace's type, but that he doesn't want to be anymore, because Jace doesn't see him.
"Because…" he starts but trails off. He's about 99 per cent sure that Izzy will be great if he says it, but he hasn't come out to anyone yet, and soon, he'll be gone, maybe never to return. Maybe it would be better to keep it in.
But he gave away that there is something to share, and she won't let this slide. He knows her too well to hope for that.
He takes a deep breath of courage and exhales, "I don't want him, I wanna be him."
Isabelle knits her brow together. "I don't understand. How can you envy him for his gender if he…? Oh!"
Understanding floods her features, and after a moment of shocked silence, she steps closer and asks whispering, "Does this mean you're a man?"
Alec wets his lips and nods, his cheeks burning in anxious excitement.
"Oh, Ally, I… wait, have you chosen another name?" she asks.
Alec huffs a laugh. "Um, yeah. Alexander, but I'd like to be called Alec."
"Not Alex? It's special. I like it," she smirks.
"Just, don't tell anyone? I'm not ready yet."
Isabelle worries her lip and nods. "Promise. I've got your back, hermano."