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"So, uhh…" Eddie blinked up at the blessedly white, non-cracked, ceiling above him.
After escaping the Upside Down, and Vecna's hold, in Nancy's case, their party made it over to Steve's not-so-humble abode. Eddie wasn't too sure about it at first, as he was still very much a wanted man and the thought of hiding out in an actual house owned by Steve's parents didn't really make that much sense, personal safety wise. He had made an attempt to question it, but Robin had lightly touched his wrist and shook her head at him while biting her lips, so he decided to let it rest. Eddie figured there was plenty more to the story, but contrary to what everyone seemed to believe, he actually had enough tact to know when to stop pressing delicate subject matters.
Everyone else seemed to trust this plan, so if they felt safe enough to momentarily let their guards down and rest up as much as possible at Steve's place, then he would trust their judgement.
The second the front door closed behind them, the party spread out and got to work, all of them seemingly familiar enough with the space to know where everything was. The kids went into the kitchen to raid the pantry and fridge, Nancy and Robin did a parameter check to make sure all the doors and windows were locked, and Steve went upstairs, presumably to clean and redress his wounds. Not for the first time since this whole mess started, Eddie felt kind of useless just standing in the foyer. He wished it was a feeling he wasn't so used to feeling.
After they all shared a meal consisting of whatever bags of snacks and canned foods they could find (Max had scoffed at Steve the second he came back downstairs because "Really, Steve? How the hell are you allowed to be an unsupervised adult? Your fridge is depressingly empty, dude."), the party collectively made their way upstairs to sort out their sleeping arrangements. They figured the kids could all bunk together in Steve's parent's bedroom, since it had the biggest bed. The girls took the guest room, as it was closest to the kids. Steve had patted Eddie's shoulder twice and nodded towards his own bedroom. The way he had croaked out a "c'mon, Munson" definitely didn't make Eddie's stomach flip as he imagined hearing that in a different context.
So now here they were, in the sanctuary that was Steve's bedroom. As the other boy was rummaging through his drawers to find something for Eddie to sleep in, the metalhead couldn't help but take in his new surroundings. He definitely wasn't snooping, okay? He was just… taking in new aspects of Steve's personality. He had expected the bedroom to be. Well. Boring, with maybe some generic photography posters on his walls, maybe something sports related. And while there was still the reminder of Steve's high school sport achievements in the form of medals and small trophies, Eddie was delighted to see the assortment of knick knacks and memories strewn around the bedroom.
There were ticket stubs from movies and arcades stuck to one wall, together with polaroid pictures of Steve and the kids, and of him and Robin, or any variation thereof. There were older pictures of Nancy and him, pictures of shimmering lakes and marshmallows roasting in campfires. A couple of small action figures were displayed on a shelf somewhere, obviously loved and cherished. There was a TV with a mess of VHS cases surrounding it, the odd sweater or t-shirt left somewhere on the floor in front of a large mirror, and a–wait, was that a baseball bat with nails sticking out?
Eddie had picked it up and raised an eyebrow in question at Steve, who just snorted and threw a little stack of fabric into his face.
"I'll tell you about it later. Just go take a shower and put on some clean clothes, you stink."
He had offered to sleep on the floor, but Steve had looked at him like he had grown a second head, mumbled something under his breath and now they were lying side by side in a very comfortable bed. Eddie was pretty sure the mattress alone had cost more than all of his bedroom furniture combined. Normally it would have prompted him to make a comment about the bourgeoisie, but after the couple of days he had, he didn't have the energy for it.
"What's wrong?" Steve asked, and Eddie had already forgotten he wanted to ask him something.
"Oh! Yeah, so uhh. That whole thing with Vecna a–and being able to fight off his mind control spiel if you hear music you like?"
Steve turned his head to look at Eddie and nodded.
"Yeah?"
"Well. What's your favorite song?"
The brunet frowned. "What's yours?"
"Man, I don't know!" Eddie threw his hands up in the air. "Do you know how many awesome songs there are? I can't possibly just pick one! Just play whatever song you can get your hands on that has a couple of brutal guitars and a kickass bass line, and I'll snap out of it."
"Wow," Steve deadpanned, "that's really helpful."
Eddie quickly sat up, turned a quarter so he was facing Steve, who was still lying down, and crossed his legs under him.
"I mean, metal means a lot to me, y'know? Music as a whole means a lot to me. It's a huge part of my life. So if I hear something that gives my brain the good juice, I immediately react to it."
Steve slowly sat up too, grimacing slightly when the movement disturbed the wounds on his torso. Eddie scrunched up his nose in sympathy.
"That's cool, man. You're really passionate about a lot of stuff, huh?"
Eddie plucked on an invisible string on his burrowed sweatpants. "Yeah…" He snuck a look at Steve through his bangs. "I guess I am."
Neither of them spoke for a while, until Eddie cleared his throat.
"So, what'syour favorite song? Something from Duran Duran? Spandau Ballet? Tears For Fears?" Eddie gasped dramatically and put both hands on Steve's shoulders. "Don't tell me it's Kajagoogoo."
Steve snorted and shrugged free of Eddie's hands. He could swear there was a light blush dusting his cheeks.
"No, it's a–it's a song by–" the boy mumbled something under his breath, blush climbing higher.
"It's a song by who?" Eddie asked.
"Heart."
Eddie blinked a couple of times. "Heart?"
"Yeah. Heart."
"Barracuda Heart? That Heart?"
Steve nodded. "Yeah, I uhh. I was watching MTV a while ago a–and one of their new songs came on and…" He paused, rubbing the back of his neck while staring off into the distance. "Since I met Robin I… I have been thinking about… stuff, I guess. Stuff about… myself. And… And then those twerps met you and I saw you, once, when–when I went to drop them off for one of those campaign thingies and then… I–I thought some more and then that song came on and–"
"Wait, you had thoughts aboutme?" Eddie couldn't help but interrupt. What the hell could Steve have been thinking about that involved him?
The sigh Steve let out seemed to come from somewhere deep inside of him. Somewhere troubled.
"It–it doesn't matter. It's not important now. We were talking about the song."
The blush from before had returned to Steve's cheeks, this time brighter than it was earlier.
"The lyrics just… fit, y'know? Like, I listened to them and it clicked and just. I–it described what I felt and–god I'm going to sound so dramatic." Steve winced. "It felt like they were describing my deepest secrets and desires. The… The things I yearn for when I'm alone."
Eddie nodded slowly, processing what Steve just told him.
"I know exactly what you mean, man."
Steve looked up at him in surprise. "You do?"
"Dude, of course!" He gestured with his hand through the air. "Music is magical. It has the ability to speak for us and to give words to feelings we didn't even know we had. And then when you find a song like that… it changes you."
The other boy slowly nodded back at Eddie.
"I'm glad you get what I mean."
Eddie smiled at Steve.
"Of course I do, it's music we're talking about."
Steve smiled back, and a calm silence fell over them.
"So which song is it?" Eddie asked eventually. "I mean, it's good to know the artist, but if we ever get into a life or death situation again, I don't think I'd have the time to listen through their full discography."
"Oh. Oh! Yeah, no, of course. Hold on."
Steve jumped up from his bed and made his way over to his desk.
"I uhh… I have it…" he opened a drawer and took out his walkman, before making his way back to bed. "I have it here. On a tape. It–it doesn't have any other songs on it since I recorded it from the radio."
Without looking at Eddie, Steve reached out and gave him his walkman and headphones. "You can listen to it, if you want."
Eddie accepted both with another smile. "I will!"
He plopped the headphones onto his head, made sure the cassette tape was rewinded, and pressed play.
The song started out gentle, Eddie immediately bobbing his head along to the soft percussion. As the first verse came and ended, he wasn't entirely sure where it was going and how Steve had related to the lyrics, but then the second verse came.
Darkness on the edge
Shadows where I stand
I search for the time
On a watch with no hands
I want to see you clearly
Come closer than this
But all I remember
Are the dreams in the mist
Eddie couldn't help but start frowning. Could this have something to do with what Steve mentioned?
These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away
That chorus… Steve had said that he started thinking about things concerning himself after he met Robin.
While she and Eddie weren't best friends, they had always been friendly enough with each other. Social outcasts always had a tendency to gravitate towards each other. Although it probably had more to do with the fact that Robin had once slowly looked him up and down, spotted his black bandana, and carefully arched an eyebrow at him in question. When Eddie nervously nodded, she dramatically nodded her head back in slow motion and shot him two finger guns.
Queer recognizes queer.
Wait. Had Robin told Steve about herself? He was absolutely certain that she would never out him to anyone, not even her best friend. So was that what prompted Steve's internal struggles? He didn't come across as homophobic. At least, not the Steve currently anxiously looking back at him while biting his thumb nail. He really had changed a lot since high school.
And then the part where he said that seeing Eddie caused him to think about whatever it was that was bothering him even more. It wasn't like they were complete strangers to each other before. Sure, they never talked and Steve's "friends" liked to laugh at him and throw rude comments his way, but the other boy never really participated in anything. So what… What was Steve thinking about?
Things started to add up in Eddie's mind, and suddenly he remembered how Robin reacted when he wanted to ask about Steve's parents earlier that evening… If he thought back on it even more, he could also vaguely remember how Steve seemed to have flinched the second his parents were mentioned. It was the same type of reaction Eddie had whenever someone asked about his parents.
There's something out there
I can't resist
I need to hide away from the pain
There's something out there
I can't resist
He remembers how he felt when he first realized he liked a boy. He remembers how frightened he was, and how badly he tried to make it go away. Could this really be…?
The sweetest song is silence
That I've ever heard
Funny how your feet
In dreams never touch the earth
In a wood full of princes
Freedom is a kiss
But the prince hides his face
From dreams in the mist
And then Eddie had a lightbulb moment. The song mentioned kissing a prince. A thousand thoughts all raced through his mind at the same time, and he felt his eyes widen slowly. Steve was still looking at him, now seeming even more nervous than he was before.
These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away
The song slowly faded to a close, and Eddie stopped the tape. As he made sure to rewind it again, he took off the headphones, once again clearing his throat. Steve looked like he was ready to bolt any second now.
"You…" Eddie felt like someone was choking him, and not in the fun way. "You… had thoughts? About me?"
Steve nodded.
"Is–Is that the something you can't resist?"
The ex jock turned his eyes away, no longer able to look at Eddie.
"Yeah…" His voice was barely a whisper, but even with the blood rushing through Eddie's ears, he was still able to hear him loud and clear.
Holy shit.
He had to say something. Or do something. Anything. Never in a million years had Eddie thought that he would be having a conversation like this with what he always thought to be his unrequited crush. He had to–
"I'm gay!"
Steve's head shot up as Eddie blurted out the words.
"What?!" Eddie would have laughed at the way his crush's voice squeaked if the mood wasn't so serious.
"I'm. I'm gay," Eddie said with more confidence than he felt. "I uhh–I thought I'd mention that. In–in case it helps."
Steve's shoulders started to relax, and an amused yet soft smile began to appear on his lips.
"It does, actually." Both guys chuckled.
Their eyes connected again.
"I tried to pretend to be straight for a long time, y'know?" Steve spoke quietly. "I'm sure you know how it feels."
Eddie nodded and blew out a breath. "That I do, all too well."
"It. It was a whole thing. Lots of internalized homophobia and other self hatred. Absent and bigoted parents. Feelings that came so naturally but made me feel sick…" Steve sighed, once again rubbing his neck. "And then I met Robin. And I… learned that what I felt wasn't wrong, or bad. And that there is a word for when you like both girls and boys."
A brand new blush showed up on the other's face, this one even reaching the tips of his ears.
"And then I saw you again, and I… I guess you could say I got a crush on you."
The smile that appeared on Eddie's lips felt like it was about to split his face in half.
"You do?"
"Unfortunately, yes." There was a glint in Steve's eyes as he said it. It made Eddie feel giddy.
"And here I was thinking that my feelings for you would remain unanswered forever," the metalhead sighed dramatically.
Steve's smile now matched his own.
"Well, you're wrong about that."
"Good!"
"Good."
"Great."
They both laughed and Eddie took a hold on Steve's hand.
"If. I mean. When all of this is over… would you–would you like to go on a date, or something? With me?"
Eddie almost had to look away from Steve's eyes, the softness he saw in them so unfamiliar it hurt.
"I would love nothing more."
"Awesome."
They lay back down together, fingers still entwined and Eddie's thumb softly rubbing over the back of Steve's hand.
The silence had returned, but this time it was filled with hope and possibilities.
"Wait," Eddie eventually spoke, once again turning his head to look at his hopefully soon-to-be boyfriend. "Does that mean I'm your prince?"
"Oh my god. Shut up, Munson."