Archive of Our Own ^beta

The drive from Salt Lake City felt never-ending. In reality, they had only been on the road for three hours since they parted ways with Suzie and headed for Nevada. 

None of the boys got any sleep on the midday drive, all of them were too nervous to close an eye for longer than a second. 

Mike had the map and the printed coordinates clutched tight in his white-knuckled grip, and the closer they got to their destination the more nervous he became.

It wasn’t the same feeling of panic or unease that he typically had when they were threatened by dangerous situations, this was something new.

Thinking about all of the troubles of the last few days -technically the last few months, it seemed- was the last thing he wanted to do, but when the first two hours of the drive were on a straight highway with no turns or directions to give, it was easy to fall victim to his mind. And get lost in it. Really, really lost.

Especially when he knew they were on the right path, but everything in his body was begging for flight rather than fight.

The hairs on the back of his neck rose, and with every mountain they passed he felt a chilling draft against his skin. He knew that something wasn’t right, that something really bad had probably happened to her. 

They hadn’t showered in days, the van was blasted hot with no A/C, and the stench was just as wicked. So, his overheated body catching a cool breeze that felt electric and sent goosebumps down his rigid spine…yeah, he knew something was wrong.

A phantom brush pulsed against his left cheek, bringing him back to ‘84, and before he knew it the words left his mouth. 

“Go left.”

“What?” Will and Jonathan asked at the same time Arygle said, “There’s…there’s no road here man.”

The pressure against his cheek increased and it felt like he was being pushed and pulled at the same time, in the same direction.

Left.

Without a doubt, the hard force against his skin reminded him of her. Her grip, her touch, her smell, her taste, it was purely and undeniably her, and it was beyond overwhelming. And when it faded like the flash of a camera or the strike of lightning just seconds later, the painful sense of fear and dread washed over any reminiscent sensation she left behind.

“Turn left, now!” Mike shouted, gripping the back of the driver's seat Jonathan was in, and before anyone questioned him again, Jonathan spun the wheel and the van skidded on its two right wheels, kicking up dirt, before dropping back on all four.

Will nearly slid out of his seat in the back from the force of the turn, and once the van was moving again, he crawled up to the front of the car by Mike and clung on to the back of Argyle’s chair for stability. 

“Now we’re going away from the coordinates,” Will said relentlessly, an understandable frustration getting the better of him.

But Mike shook his head. “She’s here. Just trust me.” 

Will, Jonathan, and Argyle all turned to look at him with wide and unsure eyes, but the unadulterated confidence on Mike’s face trumped their fear of any misdirections they could have been given by the drifting Paladin’s spent mind.

***

That morning she had seen it all. The lies, the trickery, the manipulation. The truth. She wasn’t the monster that she thought she was. Mike had been right all along. No, El, you’re not the monster.

Oh, but, you are, the ragged voice in the back of her mind professed. You cast me out. And then you let us in. It is over, Eleven. You have freed me. You can’t stop this now.

The gate, she told him that day on the cliff’s edge, I opened it.

Even so, the truth gave her the slightest sense of peace that the unanswered flashbacks starved her from for months. And that truth was all she needed. 

It wasn’t the only truth she was looking for. Certainly not the only truth she wanted to know, even if she dreaded the answer that would make her already broken heart shatter. But you don't… you don't love me anymore?

It didn’t matter. That truth was a burden to her mind. And her mind, as Papa said, was the real prison.

What did matter about The Massacre truth being the only one she really needed, was that it was her salvation. Her solution. She was a superhero again. Something more than a nobody. She was important and special. She had value. And if she had value, maybe he would love her again, and maybe she would love herself.

Her sleep schedule was entirely screwed up. She couldn’t remember the last time she slept. This was the only time she was left entirely alone, unbothered by Brenner or Owens or the nurses or scientists. 

She wanted to know what powers returned, but the exhaustion from the last three days was horrendous and she had a skull-cracking migraine coming on. Papa had said that when they came back, she could come to her full power. She didn’t know what that meant, but she certainly was curious. 

How powerful was full power? If she cast Peter into a locked away world, and years later unintentionally unlocked the gate between worlds, what could she do that was bigger than that? That much power scared her. The possibility that it might be too much power.

Don’t think about it too much, she thought, and she didn’t know if she heard herself or Mike say it. She probably picked up on all the overthinking from him anyway.

Just as El let her eyes close and sleep overcame her, the sirens began, and with them being identical to the blaring alarms at Hawkins Lab, she knew what it meant.

Ripping the provided sweats from her body, she was quick to pull out the clothes she arrived in from the wardrobe in the tiny room. The accessories on the shelf caught her eye over the pounding in her ears. Sarah’s braided hairband laid entangled with the gold ring band, and the sideways pear-shaped ruby glinted in the fluorescent lights. The bittersweet nostalgia felt from the sight of her only two personal belongings caused her heart to ache and a sour look to form on her already downcast features.

Making sure they were secure on her wrist and index finger, she faced the door and heard a single pair of hurried footsteps before the door was flung open.

Owens huffed, his face beet red still trying to catch his breath while he took her in. Gesturing for her to follow, he nodded his head and turned for the hallway. Sticking close to his side, the sound of guns firing echoed all around them.

Bodies lined every turn of the bunker and it was identical to the massacre at the lab, aside from the broken bones and liquidated eyeballs. Blood streaked the walls and all the white-coated scientists splayed out on the floor, likely from the numerous rounds of bullets that whizzed by moments ago.

Had it been one day earlier, she might have cried at the flashbacks the sight provoked. But time was funny like that, it seemed to always be planned out for a reason. For some deeper meaning. She knew the government would eventually find her, so she was grateful she had a few extra days to prepare before they arrived.

The noise was getting closer and closer. Gunfire and shouts. And the closer the gunfire was, the less screaming there was. The fewer people there were to defend them. 

El flinched as Owens grabbed her forearm, tugging her into a closed-off room, accessed by his keycard. They worked their way through back doors and lower levels, circling around to the main elevator, and right as they were steps away from the button, a group of men barreled through, surrounding them on all sides. All of which were heavily armed with each of their guns trained on her. 

Before she could blink, a bullet passed inches from her face and buried itself deep in Owens’ chest causing him to stumble backward.

The blood pouring from his sternum was a shock through her system, and it stunned her for a moment before she felt soldiers grab her from behind.

Thrashing against multiple arms pinning her to the rough cement floor, she felt the cold press of a gun to her head, and before any of the assailants could open their mouths or pull any triggers, she took a deep breath and screamed. 

Pure energy ran through her body as her limbs vibrated at the vigorous force, freeing her from their grips. 

Lifting her gaze from the ground as her ears rang and the walls continued to shake, the hallway was packed with heaps of bodies. Army green-clad men laid amongst the scientists that already lined the floor, all of them gushing blood from some orifice or gunshot wound. But, it was their eyes that frightened her. It looked just the same as it did in her reawakened memory. Whether they were sucked out of their owner's skulls or melted behind their eyelids she didn’t know, but…she was the one who did it regardless. 

There had to be at least twenty-some bodies in that one hall alone, and when she turned back to Owens, she knew he didn’t have long.

“Owens?” Eleven called out to the man laying on his back. Where is Papa? How did they find me? Where do I go?

The man’s breathing was already slowing, and tears collected in El’s eyes, blurring her vision. She could hear the sputtering gurgle from his chest as blood filled his lungs. What was she supposed to do? If Papa was already gone or dead or conveniently nowhere to be seen, where would she go? Where would she hide? 

She was hours away from Lenora Hills. Hours away from Mike. Days away from her friends in Hawkins. She was alone. 

“Find,” Owens gasped, coughing up a string of blood, “Find your friends.” 

Where? She would’ve asked if she had the time. 

But the sound of boots came from around the corner and before she could ask, Owens said, “Go. Now.”

She needed to get out. To get to the elevator. To run. To find her friends. To find Mike. 

And as exhausted as she was, she did just that.

***

“Dude, there’s nothing here. No road, no buildings, nothing,” Jonathan said. “I think we should turn around.”

“No,” Mike cut him off, ignoring the sigh he got in return.

“We’re miles off track, Mike. How much longer?” Will asked, furrowing his brows at Mike.

Mike didn’t answer though, he was squinting with his eyes locked on something out the front window. Will tried to follow his gaze, but there was nothing for miles in front of them or miles behind them. It was just desert, dirt, and barren nothingness. 

Then a speck of black in the distance caught the rest of their eyes, and it looked like it was moving.

“Speed up,” Will told his brother at the same time Mike hollered, “Follow them!”

Jonathan floored it and nearly gave the unbuckled boys in the back whiplash.

It was more than one speck in the distance. Four army vans and a helicopter surrounded a small cement structure, while a dozen or more soldiers headed inward. 

There was one body that wasn’t moving. One specific body, in white pants and a flannel, bent over on the ground, that all the army men were circling.

“There she is! There she is!” Mike shouted, and he nearly threw up at the nerves encompassing him.

“Where?” Jonathan shouted, and it was quick to turn into a screaming match in the car as all of the boys began to holler.

“Right there,” Mike pointed, “On the ground!”

“What’s she doin’ on the ground man,” Argyle screamed in a panic.

“Go!” The younger boys shouted at the rambling stoners in front. “Go, go, drive!”

There was less than a hundred yards between them and her when the helicopter abruptly slammed down, lighting everything up in a fiery explosion that sent bodies flying through the air, blocking their path to her. Screams filled the van as the hues of orange reflected off of their shocked faces, and Jonathan slammed on the brakes coming to a blunt stop just shy of where the explosion was.

They watched the surge of fire soar upward like an atomic bomb’s mushroom cloud as cries of, “Oh my God,” and, “Holy shit,” echoed in the van.

Mike felt numb as he ripped the side door open, his throat was scratchy from screaming, and his hands were shaking like a jitterbug.

“Please, no,” he whimpered as he stumbled out of the van, “Oh God.”

Ignoring the surrounding heat, he scanned the grounds and ran through the thick clouds of gray smoke. 

“El,” he cried out, screaming her name as loud as he could, repeating it like a prayer. Calling out to her. Begging for her to be okay. Pleading for her to show herself. Something he had done too many times in the last three years to leave him mentally sound or emotionally stable.

On what must have been his fifteenth call of her name in his lost wander through the smoke, his rough voice was caught in a fit of strangled coughs from the ash and whatever else had caught fire. And then he stepped out of the smoke. 

And there she was.

Standing on her own, panting heavily as she stared at the boy with shock covering his face. It reminded her of his awestruck stare at her in the woods the night they met, and just like the first time, he was speechless.

Tears filled his eyes at the sight of her. Streaks of pink were smeared along her upper lip, and a dark red drip of fresh blood glistened overtop. There might’ve even been some coming out of her ears but he couldn’t see straight. Her presence was more than a breath of fresh air, it was an intoxicating drug that knocked him on his ass and took away his ability to form a solid sentence or thought.

Unable to see her clearly through his blurring double-vision, Mike lunged forward and flung his arms around her. She wrapped her arms around his waist, but it was more for stability than her own comfort. 

El was happy that he showed up, happy that he didn’t abandon her, happy that he found out where she was located. But, with all of that happiness came a deep unwelcome ache in her chest. A new pain that plagued her every time she thought of him, so much so, that it was present when she saw him, talked to him, heard him, wrote to him, and dreamt of him. That melancholic, heart-wrenching sting that didn’t have an endpoint, and seemed to begin in her heart then work its way into her head, then her mind, then her emotions, taking over her whole body and radiating out. Like her powers, it was an exhausting, interminable feeling of disparity that sucked the life out of her.

If anyone asked her a matter of months ago if she would ever correlate those feeling with Mike, she would’ve strongly said never. Because the Mike she knew when she lived in Hawkins, was the same Mike she without a doubt knew she would spend the rest of her life with. And now, she didn’t even know if they’d be together by the end of the week. It seemed like the longer they spent together, the less solid, ambitious, determined, or concrete his promises were. They just… were. A notionless string of words.

And as the intrusive thoughts took over, she pulled herself back, dropped her arms, and didn’t meet his stare as she looked over her shoulder at the smoke thinning out.

She was entirely surprised though when his hand raised to her chin and turned it back to him. But she just couldn’t look at him. And as she closed her eyes, she felt the tears fall down her cheeks, cascading as slow as the blood she felt trickling over her cupid’s bow. And another surprise that shocked her to her core, was the feeling of his other hand coming up to rest against her cheek as his thumb swiped away the blood.

He’d been in bloody situations with her before, her leg being the worst. She knew he wasn’t squeamish to the sight of blood, her blood especially, but something about him wiping it away with his bare hand brought out that flutter in her stomach that she hadn’t felt since Thanksgiving when he gave her the ring. 

Opening her teary eyes to him, she let out a quiet sob, and he couldn’t do anything but hug her again. Holding her tight, he wrapped his left arm around her back and brought his right hand up to tangle his fingers in the hair at the base of her skull. When his fingers met with short stubby hair that poked at his skin, he pulled his head back but kept his arms around her trembling form.

How he managed to stare at her and not take in her lack of hair, neither of them knew. He must’ve been so caught up in the void feeling of her hand against his cheek, the explosion, and then the sight of her standing strong, that the state of her hair skimmed right over his mind. 

Cupping her face in both of his hands, all he could do was lean forward and kiss her forehead before tipping her chin and kissing her right on the lips.

The kiss was unexpected, yet, even with her chapped lips, blood trails along her face, and palpitating heart rate, her grip tightened on the front of his light blue shirt. 

Neither of them cared about the state of disarray they were in. The lack of time for personal hygiene in the last few days didn’t seem to be the most prominent thing on their minds compared to him locating her and her uncovering forgotten memories.

The coldness from the grudge she was holding faded slowly as the warmth radiating from him engulfed her, melting away any thought telling her to resist.

“Mike? Eleven?” They pulled away from each other at the sound of their names being called. “Where are you?” Will’s panicked holler blared through the fading smoke. “Mike?”

El met Mike’s eyes, wondering if he was going to answer, but the sincerity she saw reflecting in them as he held her gaze made a lump form in her throat.

“Are you okay?” He asked softly, keeping his voice low as he scanned over her appearance and lowered his hands from her face to her waist.

He got a single nod in return and before he could ask any more questions, Jonathan and Will spotted them. 

At the sight of El and her buzzed hair, the smudges of blood along her face as well as Mike’s nose and hands, and the bodies littering the desert ground around them, the Byers brother’s jaws dropped.

“Holy shit,” Will whispered.

“Are you guys alright?” Jonathan asked, and Mike nodded before the booming sound of heavy metal echoed behind him.

“Eleven?”

Mike and El whipped around at the familiar voice that confused Jonathan and Will.

“What the fu-,” Mike gasped at the sight of Dr. Brenner, a man who most definitely should've been dead. Before Brenner could take a step, El ran for the van, dragging Mike by the hand as Will and Jonathan followed, trailing behind the couple.

“Eleven, you’re not ready,” Brenner called out, but she didn’t listen. Just because he helped her get her memories and powers back, didn’t mean that he wasn’t the same man that kidnapped her, fried her mother’s brains, killed good people, pointed guns at children, isolated her for years after she woke up from her coma, and did hundreds of other things that she knew were bad.

“They’ll find you. Elev-.” 

“No!” El screamed, spinning around and throwing him down the stairs of the bunker entrance, and then slammed the door shut, locking it from the inside. 

She knew he could escape, knew that she could have killed him instead, knew that he knew exactly where she was going. But, if he came to look for her in Hawkins, she could always tell the government what he did. Everything he was responsible for. Maybe if she handed him over to them, they’d let her go free in exchange. 

The four rushed for the van, trying to get as far away as possible without being followed, and the second they jumped in the side, Argyle hopped over the center console and floored it.

“What the fuck? How…Did you…I’m sorry…WHAT?” Mike rambled, voice rising with each question he cut short trying to come to sense with the person he just saw.

Jonathan and Will stayed in the back with them, waiting patiently on the back row of seats for an explanation as El and Mike sat on the ground in the middle.

“I didn’t know he would be there,” El moaned as the lightheadedness started to take over. “Owens brought me to him.” 

Not ten seconds later and she was out cold and Mike slid his body closer to catch her from falling back and slamming her head into the side door. Propping her back up against the wall, he sat hip to hip at her side and laid his arm over her shoulder for her head to rest on.

“How long is it from here to Hawkins?” He asked nobody in particular, mind still reeling. 

“Probably two days,” Jonathan answered, but his eyes were trained on Argyle through the rearview mirror. He was oddly quiet. Probably stunned into silence by everything he witnessed in the last fifteen minutes regarding Mike’s superpowered girlfriend. “And that’s counting multiple stops for gas, food, and somewhere to stay the night. I don’t think we can drive through the night again, we’re all exhausted.”

Mike nodded, let out a huff of air, then closed his eyes and rested his head over El’s. 

“Let’s go as far as we can tonight and then we’ll figure the rest out later,” Will said as the sunset gleamed through the windows, signaling just how long of a trip they still had to go.

Not wanting to take the obvious route and be trailed, they drove south and followed Route 66, making their first pit stop at a Withing Bros gas station backed up to a run-down motel and 24/7 diner.

Filling the van with gas, Jonathan and Argyle meticulously counted their money and then parked behind the motel so their yellow Surfer Boy’s Pizza van wasn’t on full display. 

Mike softly shook El awake, whispering her name, as the others grabbed their bags and any belongings they managed not to leave behind in California. For Mike, that was everything he brought on the trip in the first place, since he lost hold of his bags the second the first gunshot rang off in the house.

El was slow getting out of the car, still having no food or drinks or anything to build up her depleted energy. Jonathan, Argyle, and Will lead the pack into the front of the motel, with Mike walking in the back supporting El.

The older woman sitting behind the desk looked uncomfortable at the sight of the disheveled teens, especially the two stragglers that looked like death warmed over. “Can I help you?” 

“Um, how much for two doubles?” Jonathan asked.

“Fifteen a piece. Twenty if you want a room with a roll away.”

So much for getting two rooms. They had barely fifty-five bucks remaining, and with the cost of food and roughly two more pit stops for gas in a twenty-some gallon tank, they were already short.

Jonathan looked at the other's faces, taking note of El’s deep breathing and glazed-over eyes. “We’ll just take the one double, please. Uh, the regular double, without the roll away.”

Everyone’s brows rose at his statement, but nobody spoke up. 

The woman traded the key with Jonathan for the cash he handed over, and they were quick to leave the musty lobby.

Their room was on the far side of the complex, and they were all grateful for the privacy and closeness to the van in the back. 

When they made it to room 24, they unloaded the few bags they had, which primarily consisted of Will’s backpack and a small bag or two from Jonathan. 

Jonathan, Will, and Argyle left for the diner not long after, and Mike and El stayed behind to shower and clean up for the night, with the Byers’ promise to bring them food. 

Mike didn’t know what the sleeping arrangements would be, considering Jonathan chose the cheaper option to save money, leaving them with five bodies to fill out two full-sized beds. But it was past a quarter past eleven and his brain was too fogged up to actually plan who was sleeping with who. 

El went into the bathroom as soon as the boys lefts nearly ten minutes ago, and Mike noticed how he had yet to hear the water run.

Pushing himself up from his bent-over stupor on the foot of a bed, he made his way to the closed bathroom door and knocked.

He probably should’ve noticed that there was a problem when she closed the door on herself. The only times closed doors to smaller rooms didn’t bother her was when she was either in a really good mood or she was just really comfortable with the people in the room with her. And right now he couldn’t imagine either of those answers were why the door was closed.

When she didn’t respond, he called out to her again, and when silence filled his ears, he opened the door.

“El,” he whispered, eyes searching the dimly lit tight space. His heart jumped when he didn’t see her, and then he heard the faint sound of a deep inhale coming from the floor, he saw her shoes.

She was tucked away between the toilet and side of the bathtub and her tear-stained skin gave him the immediate visual of the first week they met, when she hid in his closet so his mom wouldn’t find her. And with the buzzcut, tears, and dark lighting, it was like no time had passed at all. 

The only difference now was that he wouldn’t accept the answer that she was okay or fine or alright. He knew she wasn’t, so there was no point in her repeating what she said three years ago and making a promise that wasn’t entirely true.

He didn’t know what to say if she didn’t want to talk about it. As he’d heard from Will, everything she said about the school year and her life in California was a lie, and if she didn’t want to be honest about that, chances were she wouldn’t want to speak about her time with Brenner and Owens and Nina either. Whoever or whatever Nina, or The Nina Project was, he still didn’t know.

So, instead of doing what he did best, and stumbling for the right words that he never seemed to find anyway, he sat with her in silence.

There was still that sense of tension between them from before she left, but it felt slightly diluted now as they stared at each other in the darkness of the buzzing bathroom.

He didn’t know what Brenner did to her while she was there, but she hadn’t seemed to shy or cower from his touch earlier, so he didn’t hold back from wrapping a hand around her leg that was tucked into her chest.

He felt the need to touch her, to be close. She didn’t retract from his light grasp on her pant leg, but it did seem to make her cry even harder, and that broke him.

Unable to sit and watch, he did what Max would’ve chewed his ass out for, and extended his legs as he pulled her by her hips and dragged her out from the narrow crevice. Sliding her in between his spread legs, his hands dropped from her waist to her back end and lifted her up slightly, plopping her down in his lap so they were chest to chest and she was practically straddling him.

She took another sharp intake of breath at the change in position and frowned at him in confusion.

He cupped her cheek in his hand again and her breathing slowed a little as she held eye contact, both refusing to look away. 

“Why do you look like you want to cry every time I look at you?” He asked quietly. 

“Because I do want to,” she answered.

“Why?”

Her head dropped then, as she brought her forehead down to his chest, hiding her face. “The way you look at me. I don’t understand.”

You think I’m a monster too. Yesterday. The way you looked at me. You…You were scared of me.

“El, if this is about the skate thing,” he started, but she cut him off.

“No. It’s not. Maybe it is a little, but…I don’t understand you anymore, Mike,” her voice trembled as she kept going. “You don’t look at me the way you used to. At least you didn’t at first, and I thought I figured it out. But, then when you saw me today, it was just like it used to be. And now I’m confused and I don’t know what to think.” 

She felt his chest deflate against her head, and his hand dropped from her cheek making her nervous before it went to rest on her lower back.

“How do I look at you?” 

“Like I’m a superhero again. Like…Like I’m enough.” She still couldn’t meet his eyes as she said the last part. “And when I didn’t have my powers, I wasn’t enough.”

“I- I made you think that?” Mike asked, and his voice was unsteady and hushed.

She nodded into his chest and even if they were breaking each other’s hearts, she couldn’t help but wind her arms around his waist. This time, it was for her own comfort.

“El, I didn’t, I didn’t mean for you to feel like that. I don’t want you to feel like that. You are enough. You’re more than enough. And that’s not because of your powers.” His hand began stroking up her back, all the way until he got up to her neck and the lack of hair he was used to running his finger through met his skin again. “My feelings for you didn’t change when you lost them. And they didn’t change when you got them back. You’re still you. I’m always going to see you as a superhero, with or without powers.”

She pulled back from where she had burrowed away into his chest, just enough to tilt her head up and press her forehead against his jaw so her nose brushed his neck. “Then why is everything so different between us?”

It was one of the last things Mike wanted to talk about. This tension between them. This divide. This hesitancy and resistance. But with everything that happened in the last few days, and their relationship hanging on by a thread, he knew they needed to open up. 

Taking a deep breath, he began, “Do you remember the letter Hop wrote to us?”

El felt like her heart stopped beating. Or her lungs stopped breathing. Or her blood quit pumping. Pulling away to search his eyes, she nodded.

“I finally understand what he meant. Because a lot of it is true for me, too. Finding you that night in the woods, El, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. And when you moved, it felt like the end of the world. We still talked and we wrote our letters and everything, but over time I felt you getting distant. And then…Then when you started saying that you were twice as happy and that you were popular and went to parties and had tons of friends, I didn’t doubt it for a second. You’re nice, you’re funny, you’re beautiful and you’re the new girl. That’s like every single guy’s high school fantasy. And I thought that any day, you’d realize how out of my league you are, and eventually, I’d get some letter in the mail telling me that you were dumping my ass because I was holding you back. So I started to pull away, too. I started to dread reading your letters. And honestly, part of me didn’t want to come this Spring Break for that very reason.”

He stroked both sides of her face with his thumbs as her lip quivered and tears filled the crevices between his palms and her cheeks. 

“But I’m glad I did because Will told me what’s really been going on and he knocked some sense into me. I think, uh, I think that we haven’t been entirely honest with each other the last few months,” he said, lifting the side of his lips in a sad smile. “And, as Hop was trying to tell us, we need to be comfortable in sharing our feelings. And what better time to do that than when it’s just you and me, crying on the floor in a disgusting motel bathroom in New Mexico.” 

A quick hiccuping sob followed her chuckle at his words, and the only thing he could do was wipe her tears with his thumbs and kiss her forehead as she let it out.

“I lied, about all of it. I wasn’t happy, and I wasn’t best at Algebra or English. I’m failing Algebra and have a C in all of my other classes. I haven’t made any friends in California. I don't actually think that I’ve adapted, and I didn’t want to sound like a loser if I told you the truth. I didn’t want you to like me less because my powers were gone and I didn’t have any other reason for you to still like me. I felt like a nobody without them, and I thought that you thought that too.” 

She looked more embarrassed than she did at Rink-o-Mania, which made him glad that it was just the two of them, but sad that that feeling passed her while she was with him of all people.

“El,” he whispered, and his dark eyes filled with tears. “I don’t care about your powers. I thought I made it obvious last summer and literally every other time you’ve needed to use them, that I hate it. You’re not a machine. It’s not fair to rely on you risking your life every time there’s a code red. And when it wasn’t a code red, it was fun when we messed around with them, but that was never the reason that I was with you. I promise that you aren’t a nobody. You’re everything to me, whether you try to be or not.” 

He thought about the times after their 353-day separation when he’d come to the cabin to see her and every day she'd be there waiting. They spent every single day together until she moved, and in the time in between, rushes of her powers would often seep into their relationship. Times where he’d feel her watching him at school, times when they were alone and things between the couple escalated to the point of random objects floating around their heads, or times they would spend days outdoors and they’d climb trees, go on walks, or go down to the quarry, she’d always find a way to incorporate some splash of power. He thought it was just for fun, and depending on what they were doing, he’d admit it was attractive, but he didn’t think she was doing it to impress him.

He intertwined their hands and tapped the ring on her finger. “I meant what I said when I gave this to you on Thanksgiving. We’ve had it bad these last few months, but it won’t go back to the way it was. I mean, that’s pretty much impossible now, since,” he caught himself, realizing that she probably didn’t know. “You’re house got shot up. Some of those government people outside the bunker came to the house first. We wouldn’t have made it if it weren’t for Argyle and his van.” And Unknown Hero Agent Man, but he was a story for another time.

Her jaw dropped and she looked him over for any injuries she didn’t think to search for earlier.

“I’m fine. My point is just, well, everything is about to change. Chances are you guys can’t go back to Lenora, so I just wanted to say that whatever happens, wherever you go, we’ll still be together. And I still intend on keeping this promise.” He tapped the ruby again. Even if it takes a few more years. “But I want us to be honest with each other from now on.”

Honesty.

Then there was one more thing she wanted to confess.

“When I woke up from The Nina Project, it made a lot more sense why I think I’m a monster. I know that you said you don’t think that I am, so, you don’t have to say it again, but…Do you remember the comic book that Dustin got me for Christmas two years ago?”

That wasn’t where he expected the conversation to go, but he knew what she was talking about. “The Dark Phoenix Saga?”

“And you know how you guys always said I was kinda like the X-men? Max even said once that I was like Jean Grey.” 

He nodded, still not entirely following.

“What I saw myself do, in my memories from before the coma, was really scary. And I don’t think that I really knew what I was doing. I was just...screaming and trying to get rid of One, just like the Demogorgon at school. But, I didn’t know where I was sending them. I didn’t know that I was turning a monster into an even bigger monster. I didn’t know that when Papa asked me to make contact, I was opening the gate. And I’m terrified because if I don’t know what I’m doing, when will I know when to stop? When it’s too much? When…When I’m too much?”

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Owens said they made that bunker for something more powerful than a missile. Me, it was all for me. And then Pa-,” she swallowed, “Dr. Brenner said that I might come to my ‘full power.’ And it terrifies me. I don’t want that much power. I don’t know that I want any power at all, anymore. Not if it means that I’m who the government is afraid of. Not if…Not if I’m afraid of myself. Not if I’m like Jean Grey. She had too much power and turned into the Dark Phoenix. She destroyed the Hellfire Club.” The idea of her power being the cause of her hurting her friends scared her to no end. She didn’t want to condemn them. To endanger them just by her being with them, near them, in correlation with them.

“Jean Grey was possessed by the Phoenix Force. That’s not you,” he tried to assure her.

“People get possessed in Hawkins,” she whispered, and he could see the worry in her eyes. "It could be."

“That won’t happen. You’re stronger than One. He won’t win.” The confidence in his eyes was threatening, but it made her insides melt and the low belly flutters erupt again.

She sighed into him before promising to not lie to him ever again. And when he promised the same thing, he helped her up from the floor and hugged her tight. They both felt a lot lighter, like whatever heavyweight was dragging them down and aiding their insecurities had faded away.

She watched them in the mirror, and when Mike’s turned his head and met her eyes in the mirror, she laughed solemnly as she said, “You don’t have to worry about me being out of your league anymore.” 

So many times in the last few hours he felt like their first week together flashed before his eyes. 

Still pretty? Yeah. Really pretty.

Taking a step back he tipped her chin with his pointer finger and held her stare. “You’re beautiful.”

The sincerity in his voice caused a whimper from her, and neither knew who leaned in first, but his lips were on hers and her hands were around his shoulders and his were cupping her cheek and resting low on her back, dipping her slightly at the height difference. And it was everything she dreamt their reunion would be like at the airport. She didn’t care that it was a few days later than expected. She didn’t care that he couldn’t tangle his fingers in her hair the way she liked. It didn’t matter because this was worth it. This honestly. This purity. This unambiguous love.

After minutes of their heated, hand-wandering embrace in the dimly lit room, they paused for air and after a few deep inhales, Mike asked, “Are you really failing Algebra?”

She was still panting when she let out a soft laugh. “I got an F on the exam last week.”

“The exam that I spent hours going over with you on Dustin’s Cerebro?” He smiled, and her eyes shined brighter than they had in nearly a year. 

“I just wanted to hear your voice, I wasn’t actually paying attention.” 

They heard the door to the motel open as the sound of the three boys talking filled the bathroom.

“We should probably get cleaned up,” he said as he watched her throat dip and her eyes dart away. “It’s the bath, isn’t it?”

“What?” She raised her brows in surprise.

“When I first came in and you were crying, it was because of the bath, wasn’t it?”

She nodded quickly, perplexed at how he noticed.

“I can sit in here with you if you want to shower. Or you don’t have to do anything, and you can sit in here while I shower and we can keep talking. Or, I mean, you could go eat the food they brought, if that’s what you want to do.”

He knew she hated bathing in tubs because of her time in the tanks at the lab. She preferred stand-up showers that drained at her feet and didn’t build up water that she was sure she would drown in. He also knew that the tub was likely too shallow to drown, but for a girl that was often sensitive to sights of bodies of water, and also didn’t know how to swim, he understood why she was afraid.

“Or we could always shower together,” he teased, trying to lighten the mood, knowing full well that his joking suggestion wouldn’t land.

El rolled her eyes at him and smiled, too naive to be prudish. “Will you sit in here with me?” She asked earnestly.

He nodded, and for the next twenty minutes, the two took turns, with her showering first while he sat on the toilet keeping a steady conversation going, hoping to keep her mind away from the bath. It took her less time than she expected, considering she didn’t need much shampoo or conditioner anymore, and before long he handed her a towel through the curtain and they switched places.

When they were done in the bathroom and changed into the cleanest pieces of the only clothes they had, they made it into the bedroom to find Will and Jonathan sharing a double bed, with Argyle lying horizontally at the foot of it, leaving the other double open for them. 

He would’ve thanked the boys had they been awake, but their exhaustion seemed to take over some time while the couple was showering. 

12:49 A.M, the alarm clock read.

And as the two sat in silence on their bed, sharing the cold chicken and waffles the boys brought from the diner, the light from the bathroom door they left cracked shined on them faintly, and they couldn’t help but smile at each other.

They still had a long way to go. The next few days and the following months would feel like that familiar sense of being dealt bad cards, but right now, in this moment of peace, they knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel.