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Stede: Hello and welcome again, this is Stede, co-captain of the Revenge. We are here with our successfully tested lie detector machine because we had an incident on our ship this morning. Ed is here with me as our other co-captain and also as my- May I say that? You don't mind?
Ed: Be my guest.
Stede: Ed is here also as my partner not just in crime - if you know what I mean.
Lucius: Everyone knows, Captain, trust me.
Stede: Uh well... As I said before, there was an incident on our ship just this lovely morning and so not only is Lucius here with us, but also Mr. Hands. Izzy, will you tell us what happened?
Izzy: No, I fucking won't.
Stede: Well that's unfortunate. I... er...
Ed: You will fucking speak, man, or I will remove you from this ship permanently!
Stede: Ed, I'm not sure if this is the right direction, dear.
Ed: Trust me, it is.
Stede: Oh well, in that case... There was an incident this morning, right?
Izzy: ...Yes.
Stede: And you just happened to be in the middle of it, am I right again?
Izzy: Why is this even-
Ed: Just answer!
Izzy: Yes!
Stede: Fortunately no one was hurt. So that's good, but still… it was a near thing.
Izzy: It wasn't my fault.
Stede: Sorry, what was that?
Izzy: It. Wasn't. My. Fault.
Lucius: Captain, he's telling the truth.
Stede: Oh that's-
Ed: What wasn't your fault?
Izzy: I'm not telling you that.
Stede: What? Why?
Izzy: It's not my place to say.
Stede: You were there pointing your sword at Oluwande's throat, I saw you! And now you are telling me that…
Lucius: Captain, I don't want to ruin all the fun, but it seems he's still being truthful.
Stede: Uh… Ed, what should we do?
Ed: May I try my hand?
Stede: Will it be dangerous? I don't want you being hurt, you know…
Ed: Nah… you know me, I'll be just my charming self.
Stede: Well…
Ed: Just kidding. Don't worry, love, we'll be alright. We’ve known each other for a long time, haven’t we, Iz?
Izzy: Yes.
Ed: OK, come now, Izzy, we don't need this lie detector to figure everything out, hmm?
Izzy: 'Course, Boss.
Stede: Lucius, do you think this is a good idea?
Lucius: I don't know, Cap, was your idea last night a good idea?
Stede: What are you even talking about, we had a marvelous time toge-
Lucius: Marvelous, Cap? We thought so too, up on deck. Except for Wee John and Frenchie. I have a feeling those two poor guys just slept right through all the marvelous adventure.
Stede: LUCIUS, YOU'RE NOT SAYING THAT-!
Lucius: Shush, Cap, I can hear something!
Stede: What?
Lucius: Izzy's saying 'and Jim was crying, Ed, they've never cried!' and Ed is like 'it's understandable, they were never in this kind of situation before'.
Stede: Oh my… what does it mean?
Lucius: Shhh… Cap, Izzy claims it's all Oluwande's fault!
Stede: Oh dear…
Lucius: Oh yeah…
Stede: Are we saying we’ll have a baby on board in a few months?
Lucius: Seems so, Cap. Ready to be an uncle?
Stede: Oh… I never thought about it like that. Maybe yes. Yes, I think I am.
Lucius: So am I. Cheers.