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Eleven is a number.
To most, it was just that, a number. After ten, before twelve. An insignificant number in the grand scheme of the universe. It’s not lucky number seven or unlucky number thirteen. Just another number out of billions.
But to the eighteen-year-old girl laying with her boyfriend on his couch, his arm wrapped around her waist, the number eleven had defined her entire sense of self for over half of her life. It had been her entire personality. It had been her purpose in life. A designation of what she was to everyone who knew her. Every researcher, scientist, doctor, and technician who worked on her. Even her “papa,” a man she had thought cared for her, only referred to her by this number. It had been a designation of her status as an experiment. Not a person, not a living being, not someone with feelings and emotions. Just a walking, breathing experiment.
Her full title had been Research Experiment Number 11. REN-11.
But, back on that fateful day in 1983 when she had met Mike and his friends, she had begun to change. The first night she spent in his basement, Mike had given her a nickname. “El, short for Eleven,” and her designation suddenly became a name. A real name, not just a designation required for the scientists to use, but a name, and behind that name, a complex personality began to form as well. Her sense of self began to expand as she adopted her new nickname and started growing up with her friends.
Over the course of that week, Mike, Lucas, and Dustin taught her what normal life was like for a kid her age. They had taught her about friendship and promises, the importance of honesty, what real food tasted like, and they had shown her just how far they were willing to sacrifice for one another. These new experiences and feelings added to her new personality, the personality of El, not just an experiment any longer.
Her friends inspired her, and she sacrificed herself to stop the Demogorgon’s rampage. Almost a full year later, her identity continued to change once she met her mother and learned her birth name, Jane Ives. A proper name, but not hers. It was the name of someone who had never gotten to live their life, seeing as it was ripped away by those who felt it was their right to use her powers for their own purposes. After meeting Kali, she realized her home was in Hawkins with the people who needed her most. She knew her true name was El, given to her by someone that loved her immensely, the first person to truly care for her. To others she was known as Jane Hopper, but to her friends and the people that mattered most, she was El. A fiercely loyal girl who would do anything to protect those who had saved her and had helped her form a personality of her own.
As the years passed and the terrors of the Upside Down faded into memories and nightmares, so too did the memories of the Lab and her designation as REN-11, only surfacing in her occasional nightmare. She finally knew who she was. No more was she just another number, and she was certainly more than just an experiment.
However, one constant reminder of these memories remained. A faded tattoo located on the inner side of her left wrist. 011.
Most days she covered it with a watch, or the blue hair tie Hopper had given her, only uncovering it at home with Mike or around the party when they managed to get together. She had dealt with plenty of bullies and strangers making fun of it or just being rude about her “weird tattoo” when she revealed it accidentally. But she hated it. It was a constant and permanent reminder of the horrors and trauma she had endured in the earliest years of her life. While the others had helped her reclaim her name, the tattoo was different. Brenner had given it to her all those years ago, tagging her as if she was cattle on a farm. She loved herself, who she had become, but every single time she saw it, a sickness came to her stomach, and she wanted nothing more than to take a knife and scratch it out of existence.
Still on the couch with Mike, she raised her arm slightly and fixated on the 011, feeling her anger grow by the second at Brenner, what he had taken from her, the black numbers a symbol of his actions forever etched into her skin. As these thoughts and feelings swirled around inside her head, consuming her mind, drowning out whatever action flick was on the television, hot tears began to fill her eyes. She took a sharp breath, trying to stifle a sob, which Mike noticed.
He looked down at El’s head on his chest, a worried expression crossing his face as he noticed her tears. “El, what’s wrong?” he asked.
She didn’t look at him, still focused on her tattoo. For all they had been through together, she had never mentioned these feelings to him before now. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, trying to find the words to express what she was feeling. This had never been her strong suit, but thankfully Mike had learned very early on how to read her expressions and body language to help coax the right words to her mind. He followed the path of her eyesight to her slightly raised arm and fixated on the 011 on her wrist. “Is something wrong with your tattoo?”
El finally turned her head to look at him and the sight of her quivering lip and watery eyes just broke his heart. He had only seen her this upset a few times before. When she had thought Hopper had died, when she had moved away, and when Angela had bullied her at the roller rink. Whatever was wrong, it was serious. “I want it gone. I hate it Mike,” she finally choked out after a minute.
“The tattoo?”
She nodded, taking a deep breath to try to control her sobs. “It’s a constant reminder Mike. I still remember when he gave to me, after I showed my powers for the first time. Papa…” she hissed, sucking in a breath. “He strapped my arm down and gave it to me, and I hate it because every time I see it, I remember my life before you, before my friends,” she finished, looking him right in the eyes.
Mike was a little shocked when he heard this, but the more he thought about it, the more sense it made that she felt this way. It had been nearly six years since he had met Eleven, and not once had she ever mentioned disliking her tattoo. He thought back to her first night with him. “Is that real?” he had asked, reaching for her arm when she showed him. She had pulled it back afraid, hiding it once more, and he began to feel stupid for not once realizing how she felt. He just hadn’t thought much of it how she always covered it, hiding it from everyone besides him and the party.
“El, I am so sorry I never realized you felt that way about it,” he said, reaching down to take her hand in his. He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb slowly, and her cries began to turn to sniffles and her breathing slowed as he comforted her. She sighed and turned back away from him, snuggling as close as she could get to his body. “Do you feel that way about your name too...? I can always call you Jane, or whatever you like, I just want you to be happy.”
She shook her head. “Mike, it’s different with my name. My name is Eleven, but you gave me my name back when you called me El for the first time. Dustin and Lucas and Hopper all did too. My name is my own.” She took the hand that was covered by Mike’s and touched her tattoo. “But this… this was given to me by Brenner. He branded me as an experiment, and I can’t just reclaim that. It just reminds me of the Lab.”
Mike was silent for a minute, trying to think of something to say to reassure her. “I’m so sorry that this has been hurting you for so long, and I’m sorry again I never noticed,” he said, pulling her closer against him.
She gave him a small smile, eyes still watery. “It’s not your fault. I hid it. I thought I would get used to it. But I haven’t. I just want it gone.”
Mike was silent for a few seconds before an idea popped into his head. “Well, then why don’t you get rid of it?”
“What, how?”
“What if you got something tattooed over it? They could do that. Some other sort of design or something. And I know just the person to ask about where to get it done,” he said, flashing a smile at his girlfriend before standing up and pulling at her arm gently. “Come on, let’s go see if Eddie’s home.”
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Eddie Munson still lived in the trailer park, albeit in a new trailer after the Vecna incident of 1986. Three years later he was doing pretty well for himself, touring around the state of Indiana with his bandmates from High School and playing in clubs and bars. Between shows, he would come home to relax and DM the occasional D&D campaign. Of course, just like the rest of them, he shared a special bond with the others who had experienced the Upside Down. His collection of tattoos had only grown in the past few years, so he was the perfect person to ask for advice on how to fix El’s problem.
Mike pulled into the gravel driveway beside his trailer and turned off the car. Luckily, if the lights inside the trailer were anything to go by, this was one of the times Eddie was between gigs. He and El stepped out of the car and walked hand in hand up to the front door, ringing the bell. A few seconds later, the door opened, and Eddie smiled when he saw who had shown up on his doorstep. “Wheeler, El, welcome! To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?”
Mike grinned at his former clubmate. “Hey Eddie, do you mind if we come in and talk for a bit?”
Sensing the visit was more serious than most, Eddie nodded, waving his arm to invite them inside. The couple moved to sit on the couch as he closed the door. “Can I get you guys anything to drink?”
Mike shook his head and looked at El for her answer. “No thank you Eddie.”
He sat down on a chair opposite from them and leaned with his elbows on his knees. “So, I can tell this is more than just a social call to your old pal Eddie, what’s up?” he asked, getting straight to the point.
Eleven sighed, knowing that what she had to say should come from her and not Mike. She took his hand in hers again and gathered her thoughts for a moment before speaking. “You know about my powers, and the Lab. My name comes from this,” she said, raising her arm to show off her tattoo. “I was the eleventh research experiment at the Lab. They gave me this tattoo to mark me, and… I hate it,” she whispered, her eyes starting to water again. “I want it gone. Mike said you could help.”
She wanted to elaborate more on what she was feeling and what she wanted to do about it, but she didn’t want to start sobbing in front of Eddie. She squeezed Mike’s hand, signaling she was done talking. “I thought maybe you could recommend someone that could tattoo over it or something?” Mike asked, rubbing her back slowly to calm her down. He hated seeing her like this, and it made his blood boil to think that even after several years of therapy, the trauma from Brenner and the Lab was still very prominent in El’s life. If Brenner wasn’t already dead, Mike would have made it his mission to ensure that he would be.
Eddie was quiet for a second. He may have played a vital role in defeating Vecna and the Mind Flayer back in 1986 and 1987 (he still loved that the kids had named these demonic creatures from a literal hellscape after monsters from Dungeons and Dragons), but he did not fully understand all that had transpired with the Lab, these children, and this girl with literal superpowers. What he did understand however, was that whatever she had gone through in that place during her childhood had been severely fucked up and traumatic. And while many might think he was a cold-hearted killer from his outward appearance, he did have a heart, and it was currently breaking at the sight of this girl moments away from breaking down in his living room.
“Well, El, I have a lot of tattoos, obviously. And I can tell you that you have two options. You could either get something tattooed over your number. Or, you could get it removed,” he said after a moment, motioning to his tattoos on his forearms as he spoke.
“Removed?” she asked, looking up at him.
“Yeah, they use a laser or something to remove the ink. It does hurt a bit, but for something that small I think you would be fine.”
The corners of her mouth lifted a bit. “I’m tough.”
“I’ve seen you fight; I know you are,” he said, smiling back at her.
“And if I wanted to get something over it, how would I know what to get?” she asked.
“Well, people usually get tattoos of things that mean something to them. Special people, events, dates, symbols. They help them express themselves or remember important moments of their life. Or they just get stupid things they like, like this for example,” he laughed, raising his pant leg to reveal a tattoo of a skeleton flipping the bird.
El giggled and nodded, “Thanks Eddie, you helped a lot.”
Mike nodded, “Yeah man, I’m glad we came to see you.”
Eddie waved his hand to stop the praise. “Don’t mention it, you guys saved me, and the world, it’s the least I can do. Let me give you some phone numbers and addresses of some good tattoo places. Good luck figuring out what you want to do El,” he said before handing her the paper.
Eleven and Mike walked out of the trailer and waved goodbye to Eddie. They got in his car and drove off down the road. El was deep in thought, feeling slightly reassured that there was something she could do about her tattoo, but still anxious at the thought of actually deciding what to do about it. Mike could practically see the gears in her head grinding away, so he just drove for a while. It was a warm summer evening, so he lowered the windows and turned on the radio before laying his hand on El’s thigh, which she placed her hand over. All in all, it was a relaxing evening despite the emotional turmoil from earlier in the day.
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About an hour later, they wound up near Lover’s Lake. They had walked in silence to their favorite lookout point. Now they were nestled together in a blanket, just enjoying each other’s company as the setting sun glistened off the water.
El finally spoke up after another half an hour. “I think I want to tattoo over it.” She had been thinking about it since they left Eddie’s, and she decided that she would still like to have something on her wrist rather than remove it with a laser.
“What would you get over it?” Mike asked, kissing the top of her head.
She smiled and leaned back against him more. “That’s the problem, I’m not sure.”
“Well, like Eddie said, most people get tattoos that mean something to them. Maybe you could get a little Eggo waffle,” he said with a laugh, and she let out a giggle of her own.
“I like Eggos, but I don’t think I like them that much.”
It got quiet again. Mike gently played with her hair, braiding it in the way she had shown him a few years back. After a few minutes, El jumped up and turned to face him with a huge smile on her face. “I know Mike! I know what I can get!”
He smiled back at her. “That’s great! What is it?”
She smirked, pushing him over and falling on top of him, her hands gripping his wrists. “That’s the fun part, it’s a secret! But it is very special, and very meaningful.” And it was. She knew it was probably the most important thing in her life.
Mike put on a sad face, which was clearly faked, and El laughed again before kissing him a bit hard on the lips. “Thank you for all you did for me today, Mike. I can’t wait for you to see it.”
“Always El, I love you,” He kissed her again and she leaned into him, pressing her lips with more force to his, and the two lovers drifted into their own world.
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The day had finally come. Mike had scheduled El an appointment with a tattooist in Indianapolis and had driven her there that morning. She was a little nervous about the whole process but was also very excited to show Mike the finished product. He was sitting beside her in a chair, but she made him look away when she showed the artist her idea drawn on a piece of paper she had brought. She gripped Mike’s hand tightly when the needle entered her skin. It hurt, but she could take it.
After about half an hour, the artist was finished. He made sure El was happy with the end result, which she was immensely. He covered it with a bandage and gave her same instructions to care for it. Mike paid the man and they walked out onto the busy sidewalks of the city.
“So, can I see it now silly?” Mike asked after they had walked back and were standing next to his car, very anxious to finally see what she had been hiding from him for the past three weeks.
She took a deep breath and turned her arm so he could see the new tattoo. His breath caught a bit, instantly recognizing what was on her wrist. The 011 had turned into 11-06-83. The zero that had been in front of the 11 had turned into a small sunflower, her favorite and the ones Mike most often got her.
“El… I…” he started to say before she pressed a finger to his lips to quiet him, looking up at him with her big brown eyes and a slight smile on her face.
“Mike, that day you found me in the woods, all those years ago, is the most important moment in my life. Eddie said tattoos should be important to the person they are on, and nothing is more important to me than this day. You brought me out of the rain and into your home, you gave me warm clothes, softer than anything I had ever felt, and food that tasted better than anything I had ever had before. You comforted me and cared for me; someone you barely knew. You taught me about friendship and love. You would’ve given your life to protect me from Brenner or anyone else. And when you kissed me…” she trailed off, slowly kissing his lips, “I felt more alive than I ever had before. You treated me like a person when no one else ever would,” she said in a hushed voice, a few tears filling her eyes.
“Even when Hopper was taking care of me, all I wanted was you. And you called out for three hundred and fifty-three days into an empty void just trying to find me. You never gave up hope. You love me like no one else ever could, you take care of me like no one ever could. You are my everything Mike, you always will be. This date,” she raised her new tattoo, “will always be the most important day in my life because it’s the day I met you, the day my life finally started. You helped me find my own name, my own voice. I didn’t want to remove the tattoo completely because without it, I would never have met you. I would never have found someone to love and someone who loved me like you do. But that number on my wrist helped me find you, and now it’s a much more important number. I love you Mike Wheeler, more than anything else, and I always will. Thank you,” she finished before giving him a passionate kiss on the lips.
Tears fell down her cheeks as they kissed, but she had never felt more content than she had in this moment. In this moment, she was with the boy she loved more than anything else in the world. The trauma of the lab slipped away when she was with him. And now her tattoo matched that. She could feel Mike’s tears mixing with her own on their touching cheeks. But they were both smiling as they wrapped their arms around each other and parted their lips.
“I love you so much El, I always will. I’ll always be grateful we went looking for Will that day because I met you. I met you, and I will never let you go.” He intertwined his hand with hers, being careful of her new tattoo. She smiled and they turned and walked down the street to find somewhere to eat.
The memories of the Lab will always exist in her mind, but she was not a lab rat anymore. She was El, short for Eleven, and thanks to Mike, Hopper, and her friends, she had a life. She was safe. She was loved. She was not just a number, and she never would be again.