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(0)
It’s raining.
Wei Wuxian sits quietly alone in the Jingshi watching the downpour through the window. It rarely rains in the Cloud Recesses, even the weather seems to obey Cloud Recesses’ need for quiet, but not today.
Today it storms.
He didn’t used to like storms. Living on the streets, storms meant finding somewhere with cover over his head and high enough not to be swept away by rainwater. But after living at Lotus Pier, it became something he loved. The smell of the waters filled with the fragance of lotuses, the screams and shouts of children as they jumped in puddles and splashed water at each other before the inevitable scolding from Yu-furen. A bittersweet smile spreads across his face and Wei Wuxian wonders idly if it’s raining in Yunmeng as well. Lightning streaks across the sky with thunder following closely afterwards but the roar of the skies isn’t what breaks him out of his thoughts, it’s the gently murmured,
“Wei Ying?”
Wei Wuxian jolts and turns to see his husband quietly making his way across the room before finally settling behind him, a warm hand on his waist tenderly tracing circles into his skin. He smiles genuinely at this and presses a kiss onto a pale cheek. Lan Zhan hums, pleased, and although Wei Wuxian can tell he wants to ask he says nothing more and the only sound between them is of raindrops on the roof. Lightning flashes across the sky in a wild fashion, and as he stares one seems to flicker purple. These days unintentionally or otherwise, Wei Wuxian finds himself thinking about Jiang Cheng. After having all grievances aired out between them, those caustic words stick in his brain like glutinous rice, so he finds himself going over them again and again. But despite it all, he still wants a relationship with Jiang Cheng because under all that anger he thinks he heard the echoes of his didi, his hurt didi and what kind of gege would he be if he didn’t try to fix his mistakes? Lightning strikes once more.
“Wei Ying?” He hears the concern hidden in the call of his name and he feels warmth spread through him. How did he ever get so lucky?
“I’m ok, Lan Zhan. Just thinking.” Lan Zhan hums in acknowledgment, he knows that whenever Wei Wuxian is ready he’ll talk, Wei Wuxian smiles at the consideration. He would love to ask his husband about his opinion on the situation, but he knows that him and Jiang Cheng don’t like each other, if he’s putting it lightly. While he knows Lan Zhan would put his personal opinions aside for his sake, he thinks this is a situation better handled by himself.
“Do not stay up so late. It is better for Wei Ying to get more sleep,” Lan Zhan murmurs before he departs with a kiss pressed onto the top of Wei Wuxian’s head. He turns to watch his husband drift to the wash basin and prepare for bed.
“I’ll join you in a bit,” he says then turns back to watch lightning streak across the sky. He wonders if it’s raining in Yunmeng.
(1)
Unlike dogs, one cannot send a storm away. So as it is, Wei Wuxian sits cowering under the covers as the rain pours down and lightning lights up his, their, room. The blanket around him gets drawn away and with a yelp of fear he comes face to face with the other occupant of said room, his new brother he’s been told. Jiang Cheng looks down at him with a frown and a furrow in his brow.
“What are you so afraid of? It’s just a storm,” Jiang Cheng says disapprovingly. Wei Wuxian curls further into a ball, nervous that he’ll upset Jiang Cheng once more.
“I’m sorry,” he says hoping to appease the other boy. Jiang Cheng seems to soften a bit at this, his frown not so grave any more and then he sticks out his hand.
“It’s ok. Come on, I’ll show you there’s nothing to be afraid of!” he exclaims. Wei Wuxian uncurls and turns to see a serious look on Jiang Cheng’s face and he can’t help but smile and take his hand. The younger boy drags them outside into a deluge. The rain whips down around them and it makes Wei Wuxian immediately squint bringing his free hand up to block it from getting into his eyes further. It soaks through his clothes and makes his hair feel ten times more heavy, he doesn’t really understand what Jiang Cheng is trying to do. Then lightning flashes across the sky and Wei Wuxian flinches as water splashes on him.
“H-hey…” he weakly complains before he trails off as he turns and sees the challenging glint in Jiang Cheng’s eyes. He’s gets another face full of water for his hesitance but now that he understands the game, he’s not going to back down. When lightning lights up the sky once more he spots a puddle beside Jiang Cheng and quickly jumps into it soaking purple robes further. Jiang Cheng screams in shock and joy before he’s reaching over the railing and splashing some more pond water onto Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian lets out an high pitched squeal before he’s letting out a war cry, albeit a childish one, and returning the favor.
They chase, splash, shove, and scream at each other for hours. They’re far away enough from the main house that they won’t be heard and the thunder roars louder than either of them anyway. They only head inside once their wet clothes become truly unbearable. Back in their room, they’re breathless and still slightly laughing. Wei Wuxian grimaces as he peels off his wet clothes and drops them into a sopping pile in the corner. He frowns at how wet his hair is but he imagines Jiang Cheng isn’t fairing much better.
“See? There’s nothing to be afraid of,” Jiang Cheng’s proud voice cuts through the quietness of the room. Wei Wuxian can’t help but giggle.
“I guess you’re right,” he admits. Wei Wuxian turns around in newly dry night clothes and sees Jiang Cheng with puffed out cheeks and fighting off a smile.
“Then anytime it storms we can play!” Jiang Cheng exclaims and Wei Wuxian nods excitedly. He thinks he might just be able to like storms.
(2)
He can’t find Jiang Cheng. If this were a couple years ago it would be no issue, the only place Jiang Cheng ever ran to after a scolding from Yu-furen was their shared room, but now that they are older they have separate rooms meaning Wei Wuxian now has two places to check. Two places that have both turned up empty of his shidi who ran out of the main hall with tears in his eyes. It certainly doesn’t help that it has started raining sheets. He can barely blink the water out of his eyes before they get blurred again and he can’t help but think that he’s crying instead. It’s when he finally gives up and is heading back to his room that he sees Jiang Cheng. He’s kneeling just inside the open doorway to Wei Wuxian’s room and staring out into the pouring rain.
“Jiang Cheng! Shidi! What are you doing?” he cries trying to shout over the downpour. It seems to work because Jiang Cheng looks over at him the same time lightning and thunder crash, lighting up his composed face. Wei Wuxian lets out a sigh of relief at the sight and runs over, preparing to jump on the other boy, but the other moves dodging a wet embrace. Wei Wuxian lets out a laugh while Jiang Cheng scowls and huffs before turning his attention once more to the lightning storm outside. The skies flicker and Wei Wuxian thinks that if the lightning stayed longer than a second it might be as bright as daylight. He crawls back towards the door and kneels beside his shidi eyes wide and mouth opened in awe. “Wow! Have you ever seen something like that? It’s like Yu-furen’s Zidian.”
The comment slips out thoughtlessly and Wei Wuxian immediately turns to apologize before his shidi can start yelling or worse run off again, but he finds Jiang Cheng only slightly tensing before he’s relaxing once more still only looking at the lightning outside. Wei Wuxian lets out a small sigh of relief before he turns to look outside as well, “It is really pretty isn’t it?” he asks once more.
“Yes, now shut up,” Jiang Cheng replies but there’s no bite to it. They lapse into silence anyway but it doesn’t last that long, not when Wei Wuxian can’t stand it.
“What were you doing before I got here? Did you do something to my room? Are you trying to flood it?!” Wei Wuxian gets increasingly nonsensical until Jiang Cheng finally turns and graces him with a glare, it makes Wei Wuxian beam.
“Stop saying nonsense. I’m not you,” Jiang Cheng shudders probably remembering one of the many times he’s returned to his room only to find a toad, a water serpent, something in there courtesy of Wei Wuxian.
“Alright, alright. Then come on, tell me, what were you doing, hm? What was my precious shidi doing?” Wei Wuxian says this last part in a sickeningly sweet tone and it causes Jiang Cheng, who’s old enough to not act so immature, to gag.
“Don’t say it like that! Do you want me to break your legs? It sounds disrespectful when you say it like that,” Jiang Cheng grumbles. Wei Wuxian lets out a laugh and elbows the other boy which gets him a shove back. They spend a few more moments pushing each other around before they settle and continue to observe the rain. Jiang Cheng sighs before he starts speaking,
“I’ve just been watching the storm. I like the lightning, the storm, it’s- comforting. Something about the singular moment of the strike, the display of power in less time then it take to light a single incense stick before flickering away, how something so powerful only needs one moment to exist and be immortalized in the mind.”
Wei Wuxian looks at him with wide eyes and open mouth. “What?” Jiang Cheng asks, eyeing him distrustfully. A mischievous grin spreads across Wei Wuxian’s face,
“My little shidi is so poetic! We might be able to make a romantic out of you yet!” he exclaims. Jiang Cheng’s face instantly twists in anger and an embarrassed blush spreads across his face,
“You-! Shut up! You’re so stupid!” he shouts before tackling Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian laughs as he goes down, grabbing onto purple robes and rolling with the momentum. They quickly busy themselves with wrestling each other, poetics and storm all but forgotten.
(3)
It’s raining the day everything falls apart. Wei Wuxian is still staring emptily up at the sky, Jiang Cheng’s sobs echoing in his ears. His throat hurts for more reasons than one. It’s quiet now though, Jiang Cheng must have exhausted himself. Wei Wuxian lays there for a few more moments, watching the heavens cry with them.
He idly wonders if the rain has put out the fires.
Lightning flashes and he’s shaken from his reverie. Wei Wuxian sits and shakes himself, he doesn’t have time to spare to think about these things, he needs to get him and Jiang Cheng somewhere safe and somehow meet up with jiejie. He looks over at his didi and finds him curled in on himself. His frown deepens as his heart aches.
Protect Jiang Cheng well. Protect him with your life.
Wei Wuxian takes a deep breath and hardens his heart, there will always be time to grieve later, for now he needs to get them out of the rain and somewhere to recoup. There’s no doubt that the damned Wens are out looking for them and this forest is still too close to Lotus Pier for his liking. “Jiang Cheng,” he calls to no response. He walks over and crouches down in front of the ball of purple, “Jiang Cheng, a-Cheng, shi-didi.” Still no response. Finally, Wei Wuxian moves one of Jiang Cheng’s arms to reveal his didi in troubled sleep, lips drawn down and brows furrowed. It would be much easier and safer for the both of them if Jiang Cheng were awake and aware ready for anything, but Wei Wuxian can’t bring himself to take away what little peace Jiang Cheng has found in his slumber. He sighs and moves to carry Jiang Cheng on his back.
He’s only able to get them as far as the outskirts of Yunmeng. It’s not as far as he had hoped, but with an unconscious Jiang Cheng there is only so far Wei Wuxian can risk going. He pays for a room and settles them in. It’s only been a couple hours since Lotus Pier began to burn so they probably have half a day at most before the Wens start searching for them. Wei Wuxian begins to think. First order of business was to eat, then wake up Jiang Cheng, and finally head to where jiejie was. Well, the first matter could be easily squared away, so he stands and with one more glance at his still sleeping didi he leaves the room.
When he comes back hands full with a tray full of food, Jiang Cheng is awake. Wei Wuxian almost drops the food in his surprise and relief. “Jiang Cheng, you’re awake,” he says relieved but it quickly turns into concern when there’s no response. He may be awake but he certainly doesn’t look alive. Dull steel-colored eyes turn to him but he makes no response otherwise. “Jiang Cheng… come eat. After a nights rest we’ll head off to find jiejie.”
As Jiang Cheng closes his eyes once more, Wei Wuxian sits staring out at the storm. He watches the heavens rage and when he sees lightning, he feels the rage and ferocity flow through him.
He will protect Jiang Cheng. They will meet up with jiejie.
They will go back to Lotus Pier. Together.
Nothing will happen to them. He’ll make sure of it.
(4)
When Zidian hits his back and sends him tumbling forward he can’t help but think, Yu-furen hits harder. It certainly still hurts, Mo Xuanyu’s body is weaker than his acutal body, but it doesn’t sting as long afterwards. He stands up rubbing his back and putting up a fuss, grumbling about Jiang Cheng abusing his position. He puts up some more dramatics, ending with him hiding behind Lan Zhan, and Wei Wuxian tunes out the ensuing argument.
It’s not the most pleasant welcome back, certainly not compared to Lan Zhan who supposedly hates (hated?) him, but it could be a whole lot worse if the growing stormy expression on Jiang Cheng’s face is anything to go by. And, truthfully, he’d let Jiang Cheng hit him a couple more times if only to help him get over his apparent grudge. But then he’s hearing something about him going back to Cloud Recesses and that’s that. He walks away with Lan Zhan and the two Lan disciples while Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling grow smaller and smaller. Wei Wuxian takes a quick look back, but at this distance all he can see is a blob of purple and gold. He wishes he had taken more time to look at Jin Ling.
The walk back is near silent if not for the two juniors conversing amongst themselves. Wei Wuxian isn’t sure how to act. Does Mo Xuanyu know the great Hanguang-jun? He has an unfortunate connection to the Jin Clan and he’s not entirely sure if that factors in in any meaningful way. Either way, Wei Wuxian doesn’t want to do anything more that might give him away if the flute-playing, Wen Ning summoning didn’t already do that, especially since he bumped (bumped!) right into Lan Zhan, so he says nothing. The further away they get from Dafan Mountain the more Wei Wuxian can’t help but think about how unlucky he really must be to run into people from the three major sects, and two out of the three had immediately wanted to end him. His second life, it seemed, was not going to be any easier.
There’s lightning on the second day they stop to make camp. Wei Wuxian would feel bad about how he’s obviously holding back the Lan’s by refusing to give up his donkey making all of them travel on foot, but it’s not like he wants to go to the Cloud Recesses, the longer he can delay the better for him. Lan Zhan has been oddly— silent. Which is a strange statement to say considering Lan Zhan has always rather been quiet, but it’s another level of stillness. Wei Wuxian has to admit he fully expected a round of questioning like Jiang Cheng seemed ready to do with him, but nothing comes just assessing glances.
Jiang Cheng.
Lightning flickers and Wei Wuxian closes his eyes. His shidi looked—well. He had certainly grew into himself well, traces of childish softness all but gone. With his hair braided the same way as Jiang-shushu, Wei Wuxian could almost imagine it was him if not for Yu-furen’s scowl on Jiang Cheng’s face. Lightning brightens his tent once more and Wei Wuxian crawls to the flap of his tent and sits there silently watching the lightning storm. It’s rare, dry lightning, but not impossible. He can hear the two Lan disciples, Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui he recalls, chatting excitedly about the lightning storm. Well, it seems like it’s mostly Lan Jingyi talking but Lan Sizhui nods along listening attentively and Wei Wuxian’s heart aches at the sight.
Thirteen years. He’s been gone for thirteen years. He wonders what Lotus Pier looks like now, fully rebuilt and lived in. Right now the lotuses would be blooming making the air smell sweet and the weather would be perfect for swimming, being warm enough to swim and the humid air making it not unbearable to leave. The thoughts just make him feel worse so he shakes himself and puts it out of mind.
As he watches the lightning, his back aches.
(5)
It’s on a night hunt that Wei Wuxian has the startling realization that he sees Jin Ling more than Jiang Cheng. He knows that the other is there waiting in the distance just in case a flare goes up, much to his nephew’s outward displeasure and secret happiness, but Jiang Cheng remains elusive and Wei Wuxian hasn’t been able to spot him once. As he smiles and kisses his husband goodbye, he recalls their earlier conversation.
“He’s avoiding me, Lan Zhan! I know he is.”
“Mn.”
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian whines, dramatically collapsing on his husband. He stares up at that beautiful face from his position on his lap. Lan Zhan looks down with affection all over his face. A gentle hand brushes away stray locks on his face before Lan Zhan sighs.
“Perhaps it’s for the better.” Wei Wuxian frowns at that.
“Don’t say that. If even you say that then maybe it truly is hopeless.” Wei Wuxian is well aware of Lan Zhan’s distaste of his former shidi, but he knows his husband well enough that he wouldn’t say things like this lightly, not about something that Wei Wuxian truly cares about.
“Lan Zhan is sorry, but thinks that Wei Ying should consider his actions before doing anything rash,” he amends.
“When have I ever done anything rash?” Wei Wuxian retorts childishly to which he gets an unamused stare. He pouts and looks away, staring at table legs. “Ok, fine I’m rash… sometimes. But if I don’t go deliberately looking for him on these night hunts how else am I supposed to talk to him?” Lan Zhan takes a moment to consider this seriously. A hand drops down to comb through Wei Wuxian’s messy bangs as he thinks.
“Perhaps Wei Ying should wait,” Lan Zhan says. Wei Wuxian groans.
“You know I’m not good at waiting. It’s been months now anyway, how much longer should I wait?” When even Lan Zhan doesn’t have a response for him, Wei Wuxian wonders if things were truly that hopeless.
“-xian, Wei Wuxian!” Wei Wuxian snaps out of his memories. Jin Ling stands in front of him staring at him angrily, he looks like the Jin Ling Wei Wuxian had first met on Dafan Mountain ages ago.
“Yes?” he asks innocently. Jin Ling has never looked so much like his uncle until now.
“Don’t act so nonchalant! We’re about to get going,” Jin Ling snaps. Wei Wuxian waves his hand.
“Alright, alright. No need to be so upset,” he placates, truly his uncle’s nephew hiding worry under anger. Jin Ling huffs but nods pleased and turns around to tell the rest of the group that they’re ready to go. Their small group cheers and starts making their way through the forest.
It’s not good to be distracted on a night hunt, but Wei Wuxian can’t help it. As he observes Jin Ling leading the way, he can’t help but think of a similar instance months earlier.
After the dust had settled, the first time Wei Wuxian sees Jiang Cheng again is at the first conference Jin Ling hosts as Sect Leader. He and Lan Zhan were following behind Jin Ling who had insisted on showing them personally to their rooms when they ran into Jiang Cheng. He seemed to be coming out of a room in the same hall they were to stay in. When they spotted each other, everyone came to a stop in the small hallway. Wei Wuxian sees the moment Jiang Cheng realizes who Jin Ling is leading around, his eyes flash and his face instantly adopts a scowl and Zidian flickers briefly on his finger. Wei Wuxian stiffens and prepares himself for a confrontation before the most surprising thing happens, Jiang Cheng closes his eyes and relaxes, his angered expression replaced with stoic Sect Leader. He bows,
“Jin Lin-zongzhu. Hanguang-jun, Wei Wuxian. If you’ll excuse me,” Jiang Cheng says before brushing past them. The two aforementioned people bow, but Wei Wuxian stands still in shock as he watches Jiang Cheng walk away.
Did Jiang Cheng just not want to cause a scene? But being around other people has never stopped him before.
Or did something happen? Or could he-? No. Things were pretty clear after their confrontation at the ancestral hall. But- could he be wrong? Oh, how Wei Wuxian wanted to be wrong.
Ultimately, it’s his distraction that costs them. He’s so busy reminiscing that he detects the oppressive air too late. He barely manages to shout before the kids are crying out as a group of large yaoguai come barreling out of the underbrush. A few reach for their swords, but Wei Wuxian can tell this is already a losing battle, he can feel something more resentful lurking in the forest, and with them caught unawares like this they need a plan more than simply aiming to kill lest they attract whatever is still hiding.
“Run!” Wei Wuxian shouts and everyone turns tail.
They run through the forest staying close together, as things snap and break behind them, the yaoguai, which must’ve been bears or another large animal once, roaring behind them. It’s hard to see where they’re going with the rain and foliage and even harder not to loose their footing but eventually, Wei Wuxian registers that there’s no more animal noises behind them. He skids to a stop and the kids do the same, Lan Sizhui almost slipping in the mud. Wei Wuxian quickly turns to Jin Ling,
“Set off a flare, we’re going to need the help.” Jin Ling looks panicked,
“I-I don’t carry flares anymore, I’m a Sect Leader!” Jin Ling cries and Wei Wuxian groans. Truly as stubborn as his jiujiu. The two Lan disciples begin searching through their items for a flare and Lan Jingyi holds up a flare with a proud,
“Ah ha!” He pulls the cap off and almost drops the flare, hand slippery from the rain, but he manages to keep it upright and dry enough to launch, a light blue cloud sparkling in the sky. Wei Wuxian lets out a sigh of relief knowing that soon Lan Zhan will be here, in the mean time he’s certain he can keep the kids safe long enough.
Then everything goes to shit.
The yaoguai burst out of the trees and immediately they’re separated. In the beginning, he could see the kids out of the corner of his eyes but then the yaoguai get in between them breaking up their group and one by one he loses track of them. He destroys the one in front of him but Chenqing goes flying in the process, rain and the last strike of the fading yaoguai sending it somewhere in the dark forest. “Damn it,” he curses, “Lan Zhan, where are you?” he whines before he goes silent. The forest floor trembles slightly and as he turns to look to his right, another yaoguai twice the size of the previous ones appears. It’s ambling slowly as it hasn’t noticed him yet so he slowly backs away into the forest but then the yaoguai sniffs the air and locks its eyes on him. Not good, he thinks but still doable. He’s gathering resentful energy as it lunges, paw swinging when something darts in front of him.
Everything happens in slow motion. Jiang Cheng lands in front of him Zidian swinging, purple lightning streaking through the darkness and in the same moment it makes contact with the yaoguai’s head its paw connects throwing Jiang Cheng sideways. Words Wei Wuxian hasn’t thought about in years come unbidden,
“Something so powerful only needs one moment to exist and be immortalized in the mind.”
He hears the sickening crack of Jiang Cheng making contact with a tree and no. No. For all that Jiang Cheng resembles lightning, Wei Wuxian refuses to let this be a similarity. His shidi did not survive all that he had only to flicker away protecting Wei Wuxian. He spares a glance at Jiang Cheng feeling uneasy at his slumped over form, but before Wei Wuxian can check on him, he has a yaoguai to destroy. With Chenqing somewhere in the under brush, Wei Wuxian abandons his previous idea and puts two fingers in his mouth and blows. His whistle comes out piercing, full of anger and vengeance. He doesn’t wait to see what heeds his call, already rushing over to the still unmoving body of Jiang Cheng. He can hear the ensuing fight between whatever came and the yaoguai, but his focus is on the blood streaming from Jiang Cheng’s forehead that’s clumping in his hair, and his hands that definitely look broken. He must’ve put up his hands when the paw hit him.
The roar of the defeated yaoguai sounds out behind him and Wei Wuxian relaxes minutely. He looks down at the unconscious Jiang Cheng and sighs.
Wei Wuxian has never felt more grateful for Lan Zhan then now. As much as he loathes exercise, the training his husband forces him to do is certainly paying off right now. He grunts as he shifts Jiang Cheng further up his back and when he hears, “Wei Ying!” Wei Wuxian thinks he might just burst into tears. The ever present urge to run into his husband’s arms is there but he can’t very well do that without dropping Jiang Cheng or toppling them both over.
“Lan Zhan!” he cries out happily. Lan Zhan and all the juniors rush over to meet him. Wei Wuxian bends down to gently lay down Jiang Cheng on the ground and Jin Ling rushes to him, kneeling beside him.
“Jiujiu?! What happened to him?” he cries and he sends what Wei Wuxian assumes is supposed to be a glare, but is more akin to a pleading look, his heart squeezes.
“Ah ha ha,” Wei Wuxian laughs weakly, looking off to the side so as to not have to meet Jin Ling’s desperate look, “It’s nothing your jiujiu won’t recover from. He just got swiped by a yaoguai and hit his head a little too hard. He’ll be fine in no time.”
“He-!”
“He’ll be fine, Jin Ling,” Wei Wuxian assures, he looks at the teary eyed boy, “You know your jiujiu is stronger than this.” Jin Ling’s eyes widen before they harden and he nods stiffly. This boy, Wei Wuxian thinks, You would be so proud, shijie. Jin Ling stands uselessly wiping at the mud on his robes and looks over the rest of the group.
“Let’s head to Golden Carp Tower, it’s the closest,” Jin Ling says sternly his entire aura radiating Sect Leader, but the faint redness around his eyes doesn’t fool anyone, yet no one disagrees and they begin the journey back. Before Wei Wuxian can even begin to plead, Lan Zhan is kneeling down and placing Jiang Cheng on his back. Wei Wuxian’s heart warms at the sight and he skips over to place a thankful kiss on Lan Zhan’s cheek. Lan Zhan presses one quickly back and they set off on foot. It would be too hard to fly on their swords with how heavy the storm is and only Lan Zhan can fly with two people, which would leave Wei Wuxian without a quick way back.
It is slow going and nearly silent, only the juniors whispering between themselves up ahead. Wei Wuxian watches them with slight amusement but his thoughts keep sliding to Jiang Cheng. On any other night hunt, he would be ecstatic to see Jiang Cheng, especially considering the man went out of his way to not see him, but not this way. He had come out of nowhere and helped him, not Jin Ling, but Wei Wuxian. He shakes his head and spares a look at Jiang Cheng,
“What were you thinking?”
Wei Wuxian doesn’t get to see much of Jiang Cheng once they get back to Golden Carp Tower, as he’s rushed off to the healer pavilion and they are herded to their guest rooms. He only stays in his and Lan Zhan’s room long enough to change into dry robes before he’s rushing off to the healer pavilion. When he arrives, unsurprisingly Jin Ling is there and staring at a still unconscious Jiang Cheng with a deep frown.
“How is he?” Wei Wuxian asks taking stock of the man himself. His hands seem to be in splints, his ribs are wrapped, and there’s a thick bandage wrapped around his head.
“Nothing serious for a cultivator like him,” Jin Ling says tired relief coloring his voice, “He’ll be awake in no time they say.”
“Good, that’s good,” Wei Wuxian says releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, “What did I tell you, huh? You should trust your elders sometimes.” Jin Ling looks like he wants to snap at him but laughs a little at the last moment. The boy really must’ve been stressed if he’s laughing at Wei Wuxian’s admittedly weak attempt to lighten the mood. “You should go sleep.” Jin Ling doesn’t argue moving to leave the room when he pauses at the door looking back at Wei Wuxian,
“And what are you going to do?”
“Wait here of course. I have to apologize for getting him in this mess in the first place,” Wei Wuxian jokes. Jin Ling stays there intelligent eyes examining him and Wei Wuxian fights to not shiver under those appraising eyes. Time really flies if Jin Ling is able to see through him now, and he must because Jin Ling doesn’t call him out instead nodding as if understanding and leaves. Wei Wuxian just stares at Jiang Cheng’s pale form.
“Something so powerful only needs one moment to exist and be immortalized in the mind.”
He wonders if all those reckless things that Jiang Cheng’s done, all the things Wei Wuxian heard about in the time he was dead, were due to those words. That Jiang Cheng was so unsure of his survival that he did everything he could to be remembered for what he did, just in case. Or maybe, he had hoped to strike as quick as lightning and disappear just as fast, to be remembered honorably but to no longer have to bear the burden of living.
He feels sick even just entertaining the thought.
Light trickles in behind closed eyelids and even with years of being dead, Wei Wuxian’s sibling instincts don’t fail him. He jumps out of the way as something flies past his face. He opens his eyes and is greeted with Jiang Cheng attempting to knee him in the face, he frowns,
“That is not a polite way to greet the one who brought you back,” he pouts and if Lan Zhan was the actual one to bring Jiang Cheng back? Well, he doesn’t need to know. Jiang Cheng raises a doubtful eyebrow,
“You? With that weakass body? I doubt it. I bet it was your stupid husband.”
“He is not stupid!” Jiang Cheng groans and rolls to face the ceiling mumbling something about how he doesn’t deserve this first thing in the morning.
“Whatever, I am not fighting about this with you right now. So get out,” Jiang Cheng says.
Wei Wuxian pouts, “First thing in the morning you try breaking my face and now you just want me to leave? How is that fair, not even an ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘good morning’ or ‘thank you’?”
“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng snaps before he lets out a breath and visibly deflates, “Please, just let me have some peace.” While that stings Wei Wuxian should give him at least this so he leaves.
He doesn’t see Jiang Cheng for days, pointedly staying away from the medical wing. Jin Ling brings him updates whenever they run into each other, busy as he is as Sect Leader (Sect Leader. It’s still hard and painful to wrap his head around, why did Wei Wuxian’s family have to have the worst luck?). The day after Wei Wuxian leaves his shidi alone he hears that Jiang Cheng is up and walking. The day after that, his head wound has healed, and just yesterday Jiang Cheng’s hands were unwrapped and back in working condition, though they had lost some strength from being immobile for almost a week.
Wei Wuxian finally gathers enough courage the next morning to show up with a tray of food. Jiang Cheng is sitting up now hands in his hair. Jiang Cheng ties off his bun and looks at Wei Wuxian who stares at Jiang Cheng’s slightly trembling hands. The doctor’s had told them that the body remembers slower than the mind, so Jiang Cheng still might struggle with control over smaller more detailed things, like writing or using chopsticks. He feels something uncomfortable churn in his gut at the knowledge and blurts out, “You know, before you kicked me out I did actually want to say something.” Jiang Cheng looks at him, a displeased frown on his face.
“What.”
Thank you.
It’s on the tip of his tongue, he can taste them, but what comes out is, “You didn’t have to rescue me, I had it under control. The kids probably would’ve benefitted more from your assistance.” And, oh, was that the wrong thing to say because if Jiang Cheng looked angry before he looked furious now.
“You had it under control? Where have I heard that before,” Jiang Cheng scoffs, he’s controlled but he’s just barely shouting. Wei Wuxian puts the tray down and sighs,
“Jiang Cheng I-”
“No. You listen here, Wei Wuxian. I don’t care if you had it under control. If you didn’t need to be rescued or whatever the fuck you think I was doing. What if I wanted to? What if I thought I should?”
“Jiang Cheng, really, if this is about heroics, this is a pointless argument to have,” Wei Wuxian frowns, “You’ve done plenty for me and for the cultivation world, helping me out with a measly yaoguai wouldn’t be a crowning acheivement.”
“You really don’t get it do you? This isn’t about something as idiotic as heroics! This is about you and me. About how with all the things you did for me you have never once really thought about me! You never asked my opinion, how I would feel or think. And it’s frustrating because after all this time all I can think about is you, damn it.”
Jiang Cheng looks up at him, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes, cloudy eyes flashing with fury, Wei Wuxian stares back stunned.
“I spent thirteen fucking years thinking about you. Yet you’ve never spared a single thought for me. What do you do when I try to confront you? You spew some bullshit about letting go of the past. It must be so easy for you to say. For you whose sins have been left behind in another body. But what about those of us that still have to live with them? Who are surrounded by things of the past every day?! It is hell to live in a Lotus Pier that looks like home but doesn’t feel that way. And foolishly, I thought about you and how it would feel just a little bit like it used to with you around.”
Jiang Cheng looks away to the door, his hands curl into fists,
“Do you know how often I wished you never died, how I wished you would stay dead, how I wanted you to come back, so that I could have at least one person back. How fucking unfair it was that everyone had somebody to count on, how even Jin Ling had that while I was alone. And even when you came back,” Jiang Cheng laughs brokenly, “You ran off with Hanguang-jun, but still, still I thought about you. I still think about you.”
I’m sorry.
He can’t bring himself to say this either.
“All I’ve ever wanted was for one person to put me first! And- fuck- if that’s selfish then I’m fucking sorry.” Jiang Cheng screams. Finally he stops, but he’s breathing heavily with tears still stuck in his eyes stubbornly refusing to fall.
“You deserve some selfishness, Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian says quietly.
“Of course you would say that. All you’ve ever been is selfish,” he spits venomously. Wei Wuxian flinches.
“I- no, I just-”
“Fuck, whatever. Just forget I said that, forget I said all of that, I didn’t mean it, I’m just tired,” Jiang Cheng says brusquely and when he says he’s tired Wei Wuxian suspects he means something deeper than simple exhaustion.
Wei Wuxian aches to say something. Anything to salvage this mess of a conversation to finally air out everything between them because two shouting matches apparently wasn’t enough, but Wei Wuxian has never been good at conversations when it matters. He’s excellent at dodging answers, changing the subject, lightening the mood, but not at navigating the murky waters of their twisted and painful history. So he just stares and stays silent.
Jiang Cheng for his part turns away and with shaking hands begins to comb through his hair. Wei Wuxian watches stupidly before he realizes Jiang Cheng is trying to get ready for the day putting on the air of an untouchable Sect Leader, a shaky barrier between them. Jiang Cheng already had his hair in a bun when he entered but his signature braids are missing.
Wei Wuxian frowns as he watches Jiang Cheng stubbornly try to braid his hair. His hands tremble resulting in a sloppy braid. It wouldn’t do for a Sect Leader to look so undone. “Jiang Cheng-” he begins.
“What,” Jiang Cheng snaps resolutely staring ahead. He’s attempting to redo the braid once more but the sections are unequal.
“Can I- just- let me help you,” Wei Wuxian says quietly. Jiang Cheng drops his hands and sits there staring at the wall. Wei Wuxian waits anxiously fully expecting to be told to get lost, but Jiang Cheng moves over to make space for Wei Wuxian on the bed. His eyes widen at the sight and his heart gives a forceful kick against his chest. He gingerly walks over to the bed and crawls on top settling down beside Jiang Cheng. He is still staring ahead not even acknowledging Wei Wuxian’s presence or what he’s doing and while it hurts, Wei Wuxian honestly can’t ask for much more, just being able to braid his did- shidi’s hair is precious.
They say nothing. Wei Wuxian quietly and precisely separates Jiang Cheng’s hair into three sections and begins to braid. He has to fight against his own hands which want to tremble as unwanted memories flood his thoughts. He remembers when they first learned how to braid, shijie had taken down her hair for them to practice. Her braided buns that day were a mess but still she thanked them and pinned them in place. The two boys had spent countless hours after that practicing on each other. For Wei Wuxian getting his hair braided was something fun and it made him feel close with his siblings, after all he preferred his hair down and loose, for Jiang Cheng, it was relaxing and a sign of trust, it was him allowing someone else to take care of him. Wei Wuxian pins back the first finished braid to his bun and he can’t help but wonder when the last time Jiang Cheng let someone do this for him was.
He begins to braid the other side unconsciously humming a Yunmeng lullaby shijie once taught him. He’s halfway done when he realizes and he startles, an apology already forming when he leans over and sees Jiang Cheng’s eyes closed and face relaxed in slumber. He drops his hand and a soft smile spreads across his face at the sight. He feels affection, amusement, and annoyance swirl up at him as he gently begins to undo his perfect braids.
“Aiya, Jiang Cheng, look at all the work your shixiong did for you only to have it wasted,” he teasingly chides, gently combing out the slightly wavy strands, “If you’re still tired, just say so,” he whispers. Wei Wuxian slowly undoes the first braid and unties the ribbon holding Jiang Cheng’s bun letting the long hair cascade. His smile turns bittersweet at the sight, the last time he saw Jiang Cheng with his hair fully down was when he was leaving the ancestral hall after their fight. It’s gotten so long, Jiang Cheng’s hair always did grow slower than his or shijie’s, but now it was well down to his waist and it only serves as another reminder of how much time has passed.
He gently runs his hands through silky hair and moves to put Jiang Cheng back to bed. Unluckily for him, eyes the color of storm clouds crack open slightly as he’s pushing Jiang Cheng into the bed. Wei Wuxian halts his movements and Jiang Cheng squints, his expression becoming guarded and Wei Wuxian tenses for the inevitable argument. But then suddenly Jiang Cheng’s face relaxes once more and his eyes slip closed seemingly at peace with whatever he saw. That does something funny to Wei Wuxian’s heart. It’s something to puzzle over later though, he still needs to finish putting Jiang Cheng to bed. He lowers the other man completely and draws the blanket over his sleeping form. Wei Wuxian stands and stares. Like this he can see just how young Jiang Cheng looks, yes, he’s definitely older his face more sharper and handsome, but relaxed in sleep Wei Wuxian can still see the Jiang Cheng he knew from his, their, youth.
He reaches out a hand and brushes away hair that’s fallen on Jiang Cheng’s face.
“Rest well, didi.”
(6)
They don’t speak of that morning. Jiang Cheng recovers quickly and the Jiang, Jin, and Lan party disperses quickly. Jin Ling sees them out, Jiang Cheng standing beside him stoically. Lan Jingyi and Wei Wuxian wave while Lan Sizhui and Lan Zhan bow. Wei Wuxian spares a glance over his shoulder and sees the two speaking to each other. He smiles slightly and turns around jumping Lan Zhan immediately chattering away.
A few weeks pass and Wei Wuxian could’ve been convinced that his and Jiang Cheng’s argument never happened if not for the letter that awaited him when he returned to the Jingshi, arms full with a bunny. Lan Zhan looks displeased at even having to hand said letter to Wei Wuxian which causes him to laugh at his husband. “Here, take him. The other rabbits are picking on him,” Wei Wuxian says in way of explanation as he passes the rabbit to his grumpy husband and takes the letter from him. He picks off the purple wax and reads the letter and almost drops it in his surprise.
Feel free to visit Lotus Pier.
There’s no more to the letter, only Jiang Cheng’s stamp, and yet those six words say more than a thousand could.
He replies the next day.
Jiang Cheng!
I’m so happy I could cry. I knew you cared about your shixiong. Though it certainly took a long time, what happened to my precious shidi who only had respect and adoration for his shixiong, huh?
He doesn’t get a reply. So he writes.
Jiang Cheng, it is awfully rude to send me a letter, a request, really and not even respond. Am I supposed to feel honored with the invitation?
And writes.
Truly, Jiang Cheng, this is unbecoming of a Sect Leader don’t you think? Sending me an invitation and then refusing to follow up? Really, what am I supposed to think?
And writes.
Jiang Cheng, I will send you letters daily. I am not one short on free time, so I can and will commit myself to this task if you don’t reply.
Until finally,
Stop sending such informal letters to me. Unlike you, I am a Sect Leader and I have important correspondences to reply to. I don’t have time for your letters to get mixed in with those.
Wei Wuxian’s face hurts with how wide his smile is. Truly, only Jiang Cheng would complain about informal letters when he was the one to send one in the first place. That doesn’t stop Wei Wuxian though.
I’ll stop sending you letters if you stop responding to them.
It’s a bit backwards since Jiang Cheng never responded to him in the first place, but he knows Jiang Cheng won’t be able to back down from a challenge. And so, their correspondence begins.
Does it rain in Yunmeng?
What kind of stupid question is that? I know your memory is terrible but I didn’t think it was that bad. Yes, it rains in Yunmeng.
It rained here yesterday. It’s such a strange thing, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much rain here until this past season. It’s like even the weather abides the Cloud Recesses' four thousand rules. Did you know they added a thousand rules? How can there even be more things to not do? Surely, they had everything covered by the hundredth rule.
It rained here yesterday as well.
Yes, I am aware they added a thousand rules. Perhaps you should read them and start acting like a real Lan disciple.
Jiang Cheng! Don’t say such cruel things, we both know that you would miss my personality. Where else would you get relief from your Sect Leader duties? You are angry all the time and always working, you are going to send yourself into an early grave from all the stress or a qi deviation! Trust your shixiong to balance your life out. And anyway I probably break at least a thousand rules daily and all Lan Zhan does is continue to enable me, he even keeps Emperor’s Smile in his room! Even Lan Qiren has stopped trying to say anything.
Do you still watch the storms? I find myself drawn to them every time they come.
Who said anything about missing you?! Trust my “shixiong”? My life would be a lot less stressful with you finally acting properly. So if you want to make sure I don’t pass away early perhaps you should reconsider what you’re doing. You are going to send that man into a qi deviation and even your precious Hanguang-jun won’t be able to save you then.
Of course you do. You may be in a new body, but you’re still from Yunmeng, born and bred. Water has always been our home. I watch the storms as well.
When are you coming to visit?
Wei Wuxian stares at the last line for ages, it must’ve been a long time because Lan Zhan comes over to him and gently places a hand on his arm saying, “Wei Ying?”
“Ah, Lan Zhan. What do you think about a trip to Yunmeng?”
I hope the honorable Sect Leader Jiang isn’t too busy for a visit. I hope it’s alright I bring along Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui, it’ll be good for them to see more of the sects, plus they’ll keep Lan Zhan busy. Oh, I’ll also be bringing Lan Zhan, if that’s alright. But don’t worry! Your shixiong will always have time for you without his husband!
I see you’ve learned some manners, even if mocking. I shall be awaiting your arrival then. It’s alright to bring along the disciples, allowing them to see how the Jiang Clan trains will be beneficial for them.
And what? Am I allowed to even deny Hanguang-jun from coming if I wanted? Just bring the man along.
He’s… family too.
Wei Wuxian almost bursts out laughing at the pain he can feel radiating from that line. It must’ve taken everything Jiang Cheng had to admit that, and oh heavens, does he love his didi. “Wei Ying?” Lan Zhan asks questioningly. Wei Wuxian curls in on himself waving his husband’s concern away.
“It’s nothing to be worried about. Just promise me that you won’t be too mean to Jiang Cheng, alright?”
(0.1)
The day he plans to visit it storms. It rains so hard he can barely see past a few cun. Wei Wuxian sends a letter to explain his absence and silently apologizes to the poor soul who had to deliver it. He doesn’t get a response, but he knows Jiang Cheng (he knows Jiang Cheng, he reminds himself) and can feel the tacit understanding in the silence. So instead of braving the storm he settles in for an evening with his husband, while he usually has no qualms with that there is still the pang of disappointment in his heart. He knows he hasn’t failed anyone and it was simply nature that got in the way, but Wei Wuxian can’t help but feel he’s let down Jiang Cheng, forgiveness for his delayed trip or no.
“It is not your fault,” comes Lan Zhan’s reasonable voice. Wei Wuxian sighs and leans into the hand that caresses his cheek gently.
“I know. I was just excited and Jiang Cheng asked me himself to come. You may not know but that must’ve been hard for him,” Wei Wuxian complains. Lan Zhan frowns. Of the many things Lan Zhan disapproves of when it comes to Jiang Cheng, his absolute inability to say what he means is one of his biggest issues with the other man, but well, if Wei Wuxian is being fair, figuring out Lan Zhan wasn’t any easier. Maybe they dislike each other so much because they’re too similar in the ways that count.
“There is always tomorrow,” Lan Zhan says wisely and that settles Wei Wuxian a little. He nods, eyes turning to the storm raging outside. Lightning flashes and thunder roars as the rain continues its onslaught.
“Yea,” Wei Wuxian breathes out, Lan Zhan has gone somewhere else in the Jingshi leaving Wei Wuxian to his own thoughts, “There’s always tomorrow.”
Wei Wuxian sits staring out at the lightning and he knows Jiang Cheng sits watching as well.