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“Why do depressed people like laying on the floor so much?”
The question floated up from the floor where Jisung was lying down on the floor, doing the very thing he was questioning. Felix came out of the kitchen and curled up on the couch, hands wrapped around a mug of hot chocolate, marshmallows floating in the top, slowly melting in the hot drink.
“I dunno. Why do you like to lie on the floor?”
Jisung mulled over the question. The floor felt solid against his back and he’d been lying there long enough to actually get into a semblance of comfort, many minor adjustments to his limbs lending to the flattest, most relaxed position he could. A lofi playlist was down on the lowest volume coming through earbud he had tucked in his left ear, helping quiet the buzzing going on in his brain with the steady beats and gentle music.
He felt even. As close to steady as he had been in a few weeks, not riding the waves of up and down, up and down, up and down, drowning and swirling in his thoughts while trying to stay afloat of his homework and essays.
“Maybe because it’s grounding,” he murmured.
Felix hummed, indicating he was listening, sipping on his hot chocolate, slurping up a half-melted marshmallow.
“It’s like, there’s finally something solid you can stand on and it takes away and calms all the racing thoughts,” Jisung continued. “A…grounding ground?”
Felix made a quiet noise of amusement. “A grounding ground that grounds the ungrounded mind?”
“Sounds like grounds for a grounding,” Jisung joked, pushing himself up off the floor. He plopped onto the couch next to Felix and curled up into Felix’s side, pulling a blanket that had been left on the end of the couch over himself. The nonsense he and Felix had just spouted could be mulled over later but maybe the grounding thing had a little bit of merit. Just a tiny bit.
~~~
It’s one am and Felix is crouching down on the floor by the microwave tucked in underneath the counter, watching the mug cake he’d mixed together spin around as it’s baking. His thoughts are elsewhere but nowhere all at once.
He stops the microwave when there’s only exactly a second left, opening the door as quietly as possible so he doesn’t disturb his roommates any more than he might already have. He leaves it on the counter to cool while he grabs a glass of water, setting it on the table. Pulling a spoon out of drawer, he stabs it into the cake and turns to go sit at the table when the thought hits him out of nowhere that the floor in the corner where the cabinets met looked mighty appealing.
It's one-thirty am when Hyunjin stumbles sleepily into the kitchen for a glass of water, clapping a hand over his mouth to muffle his scream when he turns around the corner of the table and sees Felix sitting nestled on the floor with a half-eaten mug cake in his hands.
“What are you doing?” Hyunjin hissed once he got ahold of himself.
“Eating a mug cake,” Felix said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“No, what are you doing on the floor,” Hyunjin reiterated.
“Oh.” Felix stared down at the floor underneath his socked feet. “I don’t know. Grounding?”
“Grounding.”
“Yup.”
Felix took another bite of his mug cake, spoon scraping against his teeth. He stared at Hyunjin with every scrap of sleep-deprived confidence he had, which wasn’t much, intending to appear as if he was supposed to be on the floor with his mug cake at a one-thirty-three in the morning. People often said if you looked like you belonged when you didn’t, they wouldn’t question it.
Hyunjin took a long, long look at Felix. Slowly grabbed a glass of water and slid down onto the floor next to him. He tucked up against Felix’s side, dropping his head onto Felix’s shoulder, offering the silent support Felix seemed to be needing right now.
“You can go back to bed,” Felix said softly.
“Not until you’re okay,” Hyunjin replied gently.
They both knew if Felix didn’t want Hyunjin there, the dancer would get up and leave, but Felix didn’t say anything, taking his time to finish his mug cake while Hyunjin dozed on his shoulder.
~~~
Hyunjin eyed the carpet of his floor from where he sat at his desk. It was late in the night and he had been working on a project due in a few hours for his first class of the day. His eyes were beginning to burn from staring at the laptop screen for so long and he honestly just wanted to sleep. But crawling into bed at this point would be a death sentence for his project cause once he fell asleep he wouldn’t wake up until the morning.
It was probably the late hour and puddle of mush his brain was from thinking about complex project things that made the passing idea of lying on the floor for a couple minutes to relax so appealing.
He debated it for minute, going back and forth, until he finally caved and got up from the desk and laid down in the middle of his room, hands folded over his stomach.
It wasn’t the most comfortable but something about being on the floor was just relieving. Hyunjin hadn’t realized how much his back was hurting from sitting hunched over his laptop for so long until he felt the tension releasing from his muscles.
Maybe Felix had been on to something…
Hyunjin didn’t know how long he laid there, absentmindedly going through a breathing exercise he’d picked up from somewhere. Eventually he picked himself up off the floor and went back to chipping away at his project, feeling more relaxed than he had in a long time.
~~~
Seungmin was pacing the living room like a madman. At the rate he was going he was bound to wear a trail in the carpet around their meager dorm furniture, but he couldn’t stop. Couldn’t stop moving, couldn’t stop thinking.
The front door opened and closed, the sound of shoes being kicked off only barely registering in Seungmin’s mind. Hyunjin came around the corner, backpack and dance bag in hand, looking tired and worn out from his long day of classes and practice.
“What’s got you all riled up?” He asked as he walked past Seungmin, nudging him with an elbow as they passed by each other.
“A stupid essay,” Seungmin said grouchily. “And a presentation and a group project due next week and trying to make it work, just everything.”
“I’ll be right back,” Hyunjin said, clearly seeing the explosion Seungmin was building himself up to. He scurried to his room and quickly dumped his bags by the door, changing into more comfortable clothes in record time. Back down the hall he went, coming back into the living room to see Seungmin still pacing.
“How long have you been doing that?” Hyunjin leaned against the wall, trying to think of how best to approach this.
“I don’t know. Awhile.”
“Have you eaten and hydrated?”
“Yes.”
“Fresh air?”
“Walked to my classes today.”
“Napped?”
“Tried but just ended up tossing and turning, so I gave up.”
An idea popped into Hyunjin’s head. It was kind of crazy but him and his roommates honestly kind of lived on crazy.
“C’mere.” Hyunjin grabbed Seungmin’s wrist as he made another pass, dragging him to the center of the living room. “Let’s lay down on the floor.”
“On the floor?” Seungmin looked at Hyunjin, confused. “Why the floor?”
“Just trust me,” Hyunjin said, lying himself down with his back against the carpet, tugging on Seungmin’s arm.
Reluctantly, Seungmin laid down next to Hyunjin, crossing his hands over his stomach, wiggling a little to get comfortable. “Now what?”
“Just lay here and relax,” Hyunjin shrugged.
So Seungmin did, not without a heavy sigh, but he stayed on the floor and didn’t move.
Hyunjin tapped him on his arm a few minutes later. “I said relax, not lay there like a dead body. You’re stiff as a board.”
“I’m on the hard floor, it’s kind of hard to relax,” Seungmin said snippily.
“So adjust. Listen to what your body is telling you and adjust and move around until you feel comfortable,” Hyunjin instructed, unperturbed by Seungmin’s grumpy behaviour, moving around a bit himself as if to demonstrate, going so far to even wiggle his foot.
With a huff, Seungmin turned his focus onto what his body was feeling and slowly began making tiny adjustments, relaxing and shifting here and there, mind completely taken off of his problems as he honed in on trying to get as comfortable as possible. It took a few minutes but finally he was at ease, his body one with the floor.
“Jisung sometimes lays on the floor when he’s having a bad day. Says it helps him ground himself if nothing else works,” Hyunjin finally said after they had laid there quietly for a few minutes. “I thought it might help you.”
Seungmin was quiet for several minutes. His breathing evened out and his eyes closed so that when Hyunjin turned his head to look at the other, he gave the appearance of being asleep until he suddenly took a deep breath.
“Thanks.”
“Anytime.”
~~~
Jisung was on the floor again. Facedown, head propped up on his arms, blanket over his legs. He’d thought about rolling over onto his back but he didn’t have the energy to do the motion, too tired from the long day he’d had to move. He really wanted to do nothing more than curl up into a ball and not move for the next twenty-four or even forty-eight hours but he didn’t even have the energy to do that.
He missed Seungmin poking his head into his bedroom, door swinging open quietly, too focused on deciding whether or not he wanted to sleep where he was laid. Felix came up behind Seungmin and looked over his shoulder.
“Did you ask?”
“No, not yet.”
Jisung slowly registered the sound of voices talking. With a groan, he rolled over and sat up, looking blearily at the two faces staring at him from the doorway.
“What do you want?” He mumbled, rubbing at his eyes.
“We were wondering if you wanted to watch a movie?” Felix asked gently, taking in Jisung’s rumpled state. “Totally okay if you don’t want to.”
“Felix is neglecting to tell you we’ve piled blankets and the couch cushions on the floor,” Seungmin said, a teasing lilt to his voice, even when Felix thumped him on the arm with a curled up fist.
Jisung weighed his options for all of two seconds before dragging himself up off he floor. He’d rather be with friendlier company than his own right now anyways. “Okay. But there better be popcorn or I’m leaving.”
“I need my cuddle buddy, though,” Hyunjin whined as he came down the hall, draping over Jisung and forcing them to walk down the hall to the living room, Felix and Seungmin trailing behind.
Jisung playfully shoved the taller boy off, pushing him towards the pile of blankets and pillows on the floor where the coffee table usually was. It had been set to the side to make space in front of the tv for the mound of fluffy coziness that awaited the four of them.
It wasn’t the solidness of the floor but huddled between three of his best friends watching one of their favourite movies was a world better to Jisung than any old carpet. Much, much better.