Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He had been traveling for a little over two days when rain started to pour. While in any other situation he would have found the nearest camp or inn, he pushed on. If only for the fact that he was so close to his destination and his companion was suitably covered with a cloak. It would be better in the long run. The less he had to move his companion the better.

His companion being none other than Dorian.

The man had been taken captive during an outing with the Inquisitor, but any attempts to find him and plan a rescue all fell through. Not even Leliana's agents found any trace of him. The rain made tracking hard so all signs of Dorian's possible presence had been washed away and any possible sounds were drowned out.

But Cullen refused to leave him in the hands of his captors longer than necessary and set out with the intention to find Dorian. He barely had the mind to leave behind a letter to inform anyone who may look for him that he wouldn't return to Skyhold until the mage was found. Whether dead or alive.

It took days to find Dorian, and the hideout was cleverly hidden into a rockface. Cullen happened to stumble upon it accidentally for how well it blended into its surroundings. But he raided it all the same with the help of some Inquisition soldiers at a nearby camp. He didn't expect to find Dorian in it as he was raiding every enemy camp he could find, but he did.

And what he found broke his heart.

Dorian had clearly been tortured and was hanging onto life by the tips of his fingers. He was caked in his own dried and fresh blood, stab wounds littered the entire expanse of his body in places that wouldn't be fatal, there were marks on his wrists from what Cullen could only assume was evidence of the mage's struggle…and worst of all? The bruises around his neck and the sound of Dorian wheezing. Like he had not only been strangled but had also been forced to drink some kind of concoction.

Likely magebane.

When Cullen finally released him from his bindings, Dorian merely slumped into him and said nothing. The commander associated it with the trauma inflicted on the mage, but even after getting Dorian away and to the camp, he remained silent. It felt incredibly wrong to Cullen. He thought by now Dorian would at least make some offhanded comment about his rescue taking so long, but any attempt to make a noise pained him. It was when Cullen finally realized that whatever Dorian was forced to drink was more than magebane. Closer inspection revealed irritation and inflammation and he feared that Dorian's silence was not voluntary.

That was when he decided that he wouldn't take Dorian back to Skyhold. There were still people there that looked at the Tevinter mage sideways and would possibly take advantage of Dorian's injuries, so Cullen needed to take him somewhere he could heal and recuperate without fear. And there was only one place Cullen knew of that would offer that.

So he requisitioned a cloak to protect Dorian from the elements, got him onto a horse and started riding. The journey was nerve wracking as Dorian could hardly swallow water, and he initially refused anything Cullen tried to give him, but the commander was able to gently coax him to drink some when he realized the mage probably thought he was being fed whatever terrible potion was shoved down his throat. Cullen had no idea how long he had gone without food though, which was why he was so determined to get Dorian to their destination as soon as possible.

A pained groan pulls Cullen's attention to the mage in front of him and his mouth forms into a thin line. Dorian had to sit in front of him so Cullen could keep him steady on the horse, and the entire time, the mage's head had lulled back against his shoulder.

"We're nearly there," Cullen promises, urging his horse to go a little faster. They were just half an hour away and he would go as fast as he safely could.

He almost cried with relief when he finally came upon a small village. Even more so when he found someone crazy enough to be outside in the torrential rain under the protection of an overhang, and he rode up to them.

"Where can I find the old Leroux farm?" Cullen shouts over the downpour.

"Just down that path!" The man motions to Cullen's right. "If you reach the large oak you've gone too far!"

Cullen thanks him and urges his horse forward, watching carefully for the farm. Fortunately it was easy to spot when he got close enough, even in the heavy rain, and he rode as close as he possibly could to the house before carefully dismounting. He left Dorian once he was sure the man wouldn't fall off the horse and rushed over to the door and pounded on it with his fist. He waited a few moments before trying again, and when there had been no answer and he was about to attempt a third time, the door flew open to reveal a young woman with long blonde hair.

"Cullen?! What are you doing here?" She asks. She was dressed in a night robe which told Cullen it was far later than he had originally thought. 

"I need help." Cullen answers immediately. "I have a friend. He's injured and ill."

"Bring him in then. Hurry and get out of the rain. There is an open stall in the stables for your horse."

Cullen nods and rushes back to Dorian and the horse, wiping away the water that was starting to drip into his eyes. He was just in time to keep the mage from slipping off and then he led the horse into the stables and into a stall after gently pulling Dorian down and setting him on a nearby stool. Cullen took just long enough to make sure the horse was fed and watered, took off his saddle, and then scooped up Dorian to rush inside. The mage was in no condition to walk, but fortunately he wasn't heavy so it was easy to carry him into the house where the woman was waiting with some blankets and first aid.

"Here. There's a room you can put him in," she says softly and shows Cullen up the stairs. She led him to the room at the end of the walkway and Cullen was quick to deposit Dorian onto the bed before stripping off his cloak and boots. "My husband's clothes should fit the both of you. Get him out of those."

Cullen nods and carefully strips Dorian out of his robes, frowning at each wound he uncovered. Out in the wilds he only had the means to give the mage basic first aid, but it had been clear that Dorian would need a healer. He was confident that it could wait until morning though. If not later if there wasn't one in the village. Cullen's main concern was getting Dorian warm, dry, and possibly fed.

"Here," the woman walks back into the room and hands Cullen some clothes. "I'll wash your clothes and I can buy some in town tomorrow when I go to find a healer."

"Thank you, Mia." With her help, Cullen gets Dorian dry and redressed before covering him with the blankets and furs. "I know it's the middle of the night but could you make him something to eat? Like a broth. I don't know when the last time he ate was and he has trouble swallowing."

"Of course. There's enough wood in here to build a fire but you'll need more. There's a stack downstairs." Mia tells him before leaving the room again.

Cullen takes the time to shed his armor and boots, making a mental note to apologize for the mud he brought in and possibly help clean it up, and changes into the clean set of clothes. He piles his and Dorian's wet clothes in a pile out of the way before walking over to the fireplace to make a fire, sighing when the wood catches and the flames grow. Cullen holds his hands out to warm his fingers and then rubs his hands together when he starts to get feeling back.

Then he took the time to change the bandages on Dorian. Just as he finished tying off the last of them, the mage groaned again and slowly opened his eyes to look around. There was still a bit of a glazed expression in his eyes, but he did look a little more alert than he had been the past couple of days. The dry clothes and the warmth of the fire likely helped, as well as the water Cullen had been managing to get into him.

"Dorian?" Cullen calls out carefully and gray eyes dart over to him. "It's alright. You're safe."

Dorian took him by surprise when he slowly wrapped his fingers around Cullen's wrist, and the commander gently pulled away just enough to take the mage's hand in his own. Dorian was a close friend, so Cullen was one of the very few that knew that Dorian craved physical touch. He had spent his entire childhood without a loving touch of any kind, and even in his adult life the touches he did get with partners weren't the same. It was all unfeeling. Dorian admitted that he enjoyed Cullen's touch because he could tell the man actually cared about him.

So now he would hold Dorian's hand as long as the man needed it. He was hurting, he was scared, and he needed that reassurance that he really was away from his torturers. Cullen could give him that. So he carefully sat on the edge of the bed with Dorian's hand in his and let him sleep until Mia returned with a bowl of broth. She paused when she saw Cullen holding Dorian's hand, but said nothing as she walked over.

Cullen knew her silence over the obvious display of affection wouldn't last long.

"Here. I gave it some time to cool down so it shouldn't hurt him too badly." Mia says, offering the bowl to Cullen. "How bad is it?"

Cullen sighs and gently pulls his hand out of Dorian's to take the bowl. "He's in need of a healer. I had some difficulty getting him to drink water but I think part of the reason was because of what he was forced to drink. I don't think he knew what was real."

"What did they make him drink?" Mia frowns.

"I'm not sure. Perhaps some form of poison. Magebane wouldn't do this. Not by itself at least."

"Magebane?" Mia looks at him in surprise. "Your friend is a mage? I thought–"

"I'm not the man I used to be. My past still haunts me but now I know that all mages aren't the same. Dorian has shown me that." Cullen turns his attention back to the mage and reaches out to wake him as gently as possible. Dorian's lips pull into a frown before he finally opens his eyes and Cullen holds the bowl closer. "Here. My sister made you some broth. You should try to eat some."

Dorian looked conflicted. Like the thought of trying to swallow made his throat hurt, but also like Cullen offered him food from the heavens. His hunger won out in the end and he sat up with the commander's help and he accepted the bowl with shaky hands. Which made Dorian frown. Cullen watched as the mage contemplated his predicament, but eventually held out the spoon.

"You're weak." Cullen says gently. "I don't know how long you've gone without food so it's not surprising that you don't have the strength. If you'd like, I can help."

It was the best Cullen could do without upsetting Dorian. To give him an option instead of assuming and spoon feeding him when he was clear headed enough to choose. Dorian was proud and something like this would be hard to ask for help over, but he decided that it was best to ask for Cullen's help since he handed the bowl back. Mia was even kind enough to give Dorian some semblance of privacy after kissing Cullen on the cheek and bidding him good night, leaving the commander to help Dorian with his…meal.

Each swallow caused Dorian to wince but he continued to open his mouth for more. "I know it hurts but it will help." Cullen says softly. "Mia will find a healer tomorrow."

Dorian nods and it takes almost an hour for him to finish the entire bowl of broth, with the occasional coughing fit, but Cullen was even more relieved. Dorian even managed to keep it down when the commander kept an eye on him for another hour afterwards just in case. He then felt optimistic enough that Dorian would be alright for the rest of the night and Cullen chose to lay down on the other side of the bed. Partly because his bones were aching and begging for something more comfortable than a bedroll, and partly because he hoped his presence would soothe Dorian.

He just hoped he didn't have any nightmares.

When Cullen woke the next morning, the sun was up, the birds were chirping, and the fire was still going strong. Mia must have come in once or twice to keep it going so at the very least Dorian would stay warm. She knew Cullen was used to cold weather, but she always seemed to know when someone wasn't used to something. Perhaps she thought that Dorian was from a warmer country. Cullen hadn't said anything to her. Not that he remembered at least.

But he was glad for her kindness and he was sure Dorian was too. A quick check on the mage confirmed that he was still sleeping, and well from the looks of it. Dorian was relaxed and even curled against Cullen's side so he could only hope his wounds had started to heal. He was able to give Dorian a couple of elfroot potions during their journey.

Cullen was careful to move away from Dorian before he got up so he wouldn't disturb the man's sleep and also so he wouldn't potentially jostle said wounds. He rubbed his face as he quietly left the bedroom and descended the stairs down to the kitchen where he found his sister cooking breakfast.

"I don't remember the last time I slept in so late." Cullen admits.

Mia looks over her shoulder at him and smiles. "I'm sure you needed it. Knowing you, you've been up before the sun since you joined the Templars. How's your friend?"

Cullen narrows his eyes at the teasing tone in his sister's voice. She likely saw Dorian cuddled up to him and was making baseless assumptions off of that. "Dorian is sleeping. Maker knows he needs it more than I do right now."

"Are you sure he's just a friend?"

"Yes, Mia." Cullen huffs. "He's just…touch starved. I'm one of the very few that know that about him and I don't mind indulging him on occasion. Especially now. He needs a familiar touch."

Mia's smile turns soft as she turns with a bowl in hand. The same broth from last night. "You have time to eat your own breakfast while it cools down. I'm sure you're hungry."

Cullen's stomach growls loudly in agreement and he rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. "I admit that I've been more concerned about Dorian's well-being that I haven't eaten much myself."

"Is your appetite better? You know…since stopping lyrium?" Mia asks. Cullen looked at her curiously because he didn't tell her of any of his symptoms while he was having withdrawals. "I asked some passing templars and did some of my own research. I've been worried that it would kill you to stop like this." She admits quietly.

Cullen takes the bowl and puts it on the table so he can gently take her hands in his own. "I'm alright. Cassandra has been supportive and Dorian has helped. He figured it out for himself and has been giving me potions and such for the pain and nausea."

"I like him already." Mia says with a giggle. "I'm glad you're safe. You hardly write so it was such a surprise to find you on my doorstep in the middle of the night."

Cullen smiles as he releases Mia's hands so she can continue cooking breakfast. "I…had to make the best decision for Dorian. I didn't know if he would survive the trip back to Skyhold, but even if he did I wasn't sure he would be safe there. Not with his injuries. So I brought him here. It was closer and I knew he would be safe."

"Why wouldn't he be safe at Skyhold?" Mia wonders.

"He's not just a mage…he's from Tevinter." Cullen explains and frowns. "Dorian has more than proven himself to our cause but some people still believe he's a spy or simply don't like that he's there. I was afraid they would take advantage of his wounds."

"I've spoken to Gaius. He knows you're here and you're welcome to stay as long as you need." Mia turns again and ushers Cullen to a chair before setting a plate of food in front of him. "Here. Eat. You're too thin."

"You can thank the lyrium for that." Cullen grunts and digs into his breakfast. "I'm sorry for the mess I brought inside. I can clean it up."

"Oh don't worry about that. I've already cleaned it up. It was an emergency…but don't make a habit of it or I'll make you scrub the floors until they shine!"

"Yes, ma'am." Cullen mumbles making her laugh.

"Finish eating then go get some more rest and make sure Dorian eats. Gaius and I will go into town to find a healer and get you some clothes."

Cullen stops and pats down his pants until realizing he wasn't wearing his own clothes and that his coin purse was upstairs. "I'll give you gold for both. Dorian is…he takes pride in his clothes."

Mia laughs. "I'll see what I can find. I think I can manage since I washed his clothes this morning."

Cullen nods and finishes his breakfast, thanking Mia as she takes his plate, and heads back up to the bedroom after she hands him Dorian's bowl of broth again. To Cullen's surprise, he found the mage partially awake and even sitting up against some pillows. His eyes were clearer than they had been the night before so Cullen knew the broth had helped.

"Are you hungry? Mia made you more broth." Cullen tells him and hands over the bowl when Dorian nods and reaches out for it. "Do you need help?"

Dorian shook his head and slowly, but surely, ate his broth under his own power. Cullen was glad to see that the mage was recovering well but he was still concerned about Dorian's throat. He still winced as he swallowed, but his other wounds showed signs of healing when Cullen changed his bandages the night before.

"I'll need to change your bandages when you're finished." Cullen tells him as he sits on the edge of the bed next to Dorian. "Are you feeling any better? Do you need anything?"

Dorian nods and looks around the room as if in search of something, but when he doesn't find what he's looking for, he sets his bowl in his lap and reaches out to grab Cullen's wrist. The commander watches as Dorian turns his hand palm up and starts moving his finger across it, and he immediately recognizes the letters the mage is spelling out.

Water.

Cullen nods immediately. "Of course. Is that all?"

Dorian seems to ponder the question before writing across Cullen's palm again.

A book.

"I'll see if Mia has anything you might like." Cullen tells him, and Dorian nods before pulling his hands away and picking up his bowl to finish eating. When he does, Cullen takes his bowl and takes it back downstairs to hand off to Mia. "Do you have any books that Dorian could read?"

"You can check the shelf in the living room." She answers. "I'm afraid there's not much though. I can look for something in town."

"Thank you." Cullen grabs a cup and fills it with water. "I'm sure he would appreciate that. I'll go get my coin purse now."

Mia nods and Cullen makes a quick stop in the living room to grab any books he thought Dorian might like, and finds that his sister was right. There wasn't much to speak of. Most of the books were Chantry related and Cullen knew those would bore Dorian so he grabbed everything else before taking them and the water up to the mage. Dorian immediately takes the cup and downs its contents gratefully, uncaring of the pain it was probably causing his throat. Then he finally eyes the books in Cullen's other hand curiously which the commander holds out to him.

"It's not much but Mia said she'll find something for you while they're in town. These should at least keep you occupied."

Dorian takes the books and places them in his lap so he can grab Cullen's wrist again and turn his hand to write on it with his finger.

Thank you. For everything.

"You're my friend Dorian." Cullen says softly. "No thanks is needed."

Chapter Text

While Mia and Gaius went into town, Cullen let Dorian rest until they came back with the healer. When they did, Cullen stood off to the side while the healer examined Dorian. He made a few nods of approval when he unwrapped the bandages and looked at the wounds, and made a passing comment that they didn't need to be wrapped anymore as they had healed well…but when he got to Dorian's throat…he frowned. It made Cullen frown in turn because he knew that wasn't a good sign. He had his own suspicion that it wouldn't turn out well but he wasn't a healer and hoped he was wrong.

It was one time he hated that he was right.

"Do you know what he was made to drink?" The healer asks after backing away from Dorian to grab a few potions from his bag.

"No. I didn't see anything when I found him," Cullen answers. "I was more concerned with getting him to safety. Do you know?"

Cullen directs the last question to Dorian but the mage shakes his head, making the healer sigh and hold a potion out for him. Dorian takes it and drinks it without prompting, wincing at what could only be a terrible, bitter taste. Cullen didn't envy him.

"You said you suspect they used magebane?" The healer asks and Cullen nods. "As a former templar you should know it doesn't cause that amount of damage even in high doses."

"Could they have forced poison on him?"

"It's possible. From the looks of it, it was corrosive." The healer says. "His throat will heal after a few days of taking these potions...but your friend may never recover his voice."

The air immediately felt heavy. Not from magic or weather change but because Dorian may never be able to speak up for himself anymore. The mage came off as arrogant and proud, but he was trying to change things. Change the way people saw Tevinter and even change the ways of his homeland. He wanted to make things better but if he never recovered his voice, he couldn't make his countrymen listen .

"He's healing well," the healer continues, breaking the long silence. "Have him drink those potions twice a day until they're gone and continue to feed him broths and soft foods."

"Thank you." Cullen says quietly as he follows the man out of the bedroom and down to the door to see him out. "Is…there any chance he will recover his ability to speak?"

"...I would help him find an alternate way to communicate." The healer answers and leaves after Cullen hands him some coins. 

When Cullen closes the door, Mia approaches him with some clothes and a pile of books in her arms. "Here. I was able to find a few books on subjects you said Dorian enjoyed."

"Thank you." Cullen mumbles and takes the burden from her. "I'm going to see if he's up for a bath. It might help him feel better."

"I'll make lunch."

Cullen nods to his sister and walks back up the stairs to the room he and Dorian were sharing and he sets the clothes and books on a chair near the bed. Dorian had barely moved except to sit on the edge of the bed and was staring at the wall across the way. The mage was usually very expressive but Cullen saw nothing this time. No anger, no sadness…nothing. It was like Dorian was still trying to believe what the healer said.

"Would you like a bath? There's one in the room down the hall." Cullen didn't think he would get an answer the way Dorian was looking, but his words did seem to reach him. The mage looked up at him and nodded before taking the offered arm that Cullen held out.

Dorian stumbled for a moment but he was able to right himself and stand on his own so Cullen could pick up his clothes again. Cullen offered his arm again, but Dorian waved him away and followed the commander to the room with the tub though it was a little more of a shuffle. His strength had come back in leaps and bounds thanks to Mia's food and his uninterrupted rest, but he was still recovering. He wasn't at full strength yet.

When he was, Cullen would have to ask him if he wanted to stay at the farm or return to Skyhold with him. He couldn't make that choice for Dorian when he was better, but the mage did at least seem to appreciate Cullen's choice to keep him away from Skyhold so he could recover. If his voice didn't return by the time Cullen would set out for Skyhold–and assuming Dorian wished to return with him–he would push to find a room near Dorian's. He refused to stay in his tower where he was out of the mage's reach if Dorian needed his help.

Not that Dorian couldn't protect himself. Cullen knew he could. Dorian was an extremely talented mage, but not being able to help rubbed Cullen the wrong way. Dorian didn't have many friends, but he certainly had enemies just because of where he hailed from, and Cullen hated to admit that some people would take advantage of Dorian's mutism.

When they arrived at the bathroom, Cullen located the tub and frowned when he found it void of water. Mia or Gaius had probably cleaned it and had yet to fill it again but that wouldn't be an issue…if some of Dorian's magic was back.

"Has your magic returned at all?" Cullen asks, looking over at Dorian. "Enough to heat the water at least?"

Dorian blinks at him and then looks down at his hands as if wondering the same question. Cullen watches in silence as the mage focuses on his hands and smiles softly when a small flame sparks into existence over one of his palms. Once he gets an affirmative nod from Dorian, Cullen sets Dorian's clothes down on a stool.

"If you give me a few minutes I can fill the tub."

Dorian nods and Cullen leaves the room to head downstairs and out the door to find the well, and he grabs the buckets nearby. It took a couple of trips to fill the tub, but by the third trip, Cullen was walking back into the bathroom and found Dorian in the middle of undressing. The mage's back was turned, which gave Cullen a full view of Dorian's rear end, and he momentarily froze before he managed to recover with an embarrassed cough. Cullen didn't think to knock because the mage knew he would be in and out with water, but he swore he saw Dorian's mouth tilted up in a smile.

He had to ignore the feelings that came with that admittedly pleasant view though. Cullen wasn't sure what they were in the first place, but he also didn't want to take advantage of Dorian.

Though he could already hear Dorian saying something along the lines of you can't take advantage of the willing, Commander.

Dorian flirted. A lot. But he was Cullen's friend and he was unsure if the flirting was just friendly or if…

No. 

Cullen shakes his head as he dumps the two buckets of water into the tub, filling it up sufficiently. He was a barbaric Ferelden that wouldn't know what fashion was even if it rose up and bit him in the ass. At least that was what Dorian had said over a game of chess one day. So it was obvious Cullen wasn't even his type. Dorian was used to luxury. Something Cullen could probably never give him–

Why was he even thinking about this? It wasn't as if he had feelings for the mage. Of course Cullen appreciated him and his good looks, but even after they got past their initial dislike at first sight, Dorian was far out of reach. He would eventually return home to Tevinter–

But would those plans change now because of his injuries? Would Dorian even be safe in Tevinter now? Maybe that wasn't for Cullen to decide. If Dorian wanted to go back to Tevinter, it was his choice in the end. Even mute he could still defend himself with magic.

Cullen was just a friend…right?

Then why did you go out looking for him by yourself?

There were too many questions and not enough answers, and Cullen had to accept that he may never get them.

"There are some soaps that Mia picked out for you by the tub." Cullen finally says. "Well…I told her what you might like but I apologize if I'm wrong."

He picks up the buckets to leave and return them to the well as Dorian moves past him and reaches into the water to heat it and climb in, but Cullen stops when Dorian grabs his wrist. Cullen looks back at him with some surprise and finds a hint of desperation in gray eyes. What did it mean though? What could Dorian possibly want? A bath–and maybe a bottle of wine–was usually enough to make the mage happy but Cullen wasn't expecting this. 

Then Cullen finally realized.

Dorian had a nightmare the night before. Cullen had completely forgotten about it until that moment because he had been half asleep when he helped soothe Dorian back to sleep, but maybe he was still afraid? Cullen was the only one he knew right now and that probably meant safety.

"I'll come back if you want me to." Cullen says and relief instantly floods Dorian's eyes before he finally releases his wrist. The commander leaves, returns the buckets to their place by the well, and walks back inside only to run into Mia's husband.

He was just a bit shorter than Cullen, around Dorian's height, but built like him with dark hair. He kind of reminded Cullen of the Hawke brothers. But he was quieter. Cullen hadn't seen much of him except when he was doing his chores outside and when he and Mia returned from their trip into town. Fortunately he didn't seem to mind his or Dorian's presence and even seemed concerned about a Tevinter mage's health.

Cullen could see why Mia had chosen him and approved.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going," Cullen says immediately.

"It's alright. Neither was I. How is your friend?"

"He's in the bath. It should help."

"Mia told me what the healer said. I'm sorry. Do you need anything?" Gaius asks and Cullen shakes his head. 

"Not at the moment, but thank you. I think I should be asking you that. I would like to help out if I can in exchange for our stay."

Gaius laughs. "You're family and you needed help. I don't expect anything in return because I know you would do the same. But if you want something to do on occasion I'm sure I can find something. Just worry about Dorian for now."

Cullen sighs and nods. "I will. Thank you." 

Then he was moving past Gaius and heading back up to the bathroom. When he got inside, he turned and closed the door and then peeked around the privacy screen to check on Dorian. Only to have his heart jump into his throat. The man was completely submerged under water and Cullen acted immediately by racing over and reaching into the water to pull Dorian up.

"Dorian!" The mage flailed for a moment as Cullen forced him to resurface but then he opened his eyes and blinked up at the commander in confusion. It was then, with sleeves soaked in water and hands under Dorian's armpits, that Cullen realized his mistake. "You…you weren't drowning were you?"

Dorian's confusion quickly morphed into something…fond? He was definitely smiling for the first time since Cullen found him in that cave. He took Cullen's wrist as the blonde slowly pulled away with a growing blush and traced his finger across his palm.

No, but I appreciate your concern. I'm sorry if I scared you.

"I…guess it's better I jumped to conclusions." Cullen mumbles lamely. "I know you're not at full strength."

Dorian nods in understanding before reaching over to the table by the tub that was holding the soaps and pauses after he grabs one and smells it. If it was something he didn't like, he would've made a face and put it back. But instead he looked more surprised. Cullen certainly was when Dorian grabbed his hand again.

You noticed.

Of course Cullen could feel himself blushing. It was obvious to Dorian now that Cullen had been smelling him and was even able to pick out what the scent specifically was. A mix of something soft with something Cullen would describe as spicy. Roses and cloves. To Cullen's surprise, the roses were the stronger smell to soften the blow of the clove smell but it worked on Dorian. He admittedly loved the smell and it had helped relax Cullen on more than one occasion.

Not that he would admit that out loud. Dorian would hold it over his head for the rest of time if he did.

Cullen rubs the back of his neck with his free hand. "I suppose I was right then? I'm not usually good at discerning smells. At least when it comes to plants." 

Then he finally noticed his newest predicament, blushed again, and moved back behind the privacy screen. He was sure he heard some semblance of a chuckle from Dorian but it was quiet enough that Cullen thought that maybe he was simply hearing things. He knew Dorian wasn't shy, but Cullen was a considerate man. He wouldn't assume that the mage was okay with him staring at him while he bathed, even though that was probably true.

Dorian wanted him nearby and he would be. Just on the stool on the other side of the screen.

"Mia picked out your clothes." Cullen says to fill the silence. It was unnerving because usually Dorian would be filling the air with his own chatter. Maybe about a bath he had with fancy cheeses and a bottle of wine that had been sitting in his parents basement for the better of two decades. "She hopes they're to your liking. They're the closest to what you normally wear around Skyhold."

There was a hum before some splashing as Dorian finally started washing, and then eventually the unmistakable sound of Dorian getting out of the tub. Cullen waited, listening carefully in case the mage fell or made some sort of noise signaling for help, and Dorian eventually stepped out from the screen. When Cullen looked up, he couldn't help but stare. The clothes Mia picked out were similar to what Dorian would wear around Skyhold, but they were black and skin tight. It made Cullen's mouth go dry.

Something else that made Cullen start to wonder if he thought of Dorian as more than a friend. But he had to reprimand himself again. This wasn't the time…and he certainly wasn't someone Dorian would go for. They were friends.

Friends.

Complete opposites.

Cullen's attention snaps back when Dorians fingers Cullen's wet sleeves before holding out some clothes. It must have been the clothes that Mia had picked out for him. He didn't realize they had been in with Dorian's. Cullen took them gratefully and got up to change when Dorian walked over to a mirror to groom himself, and when he was finished, Dorian looked over and nodded in approval. A simple tunic and trousers that made Cullen feel naked without the weight of his armor. Something he hadn't even noticed until now because he had been so worried about his friend.

But the clothes were comfortable and suitable for around the farm. Maybe Dorian would enjoy some sunlight with a book while Cullen helped Gaius with the chores. He was always complaining about the snow but there wasn't any in the South Reach since it was late spring. Some movement and sunlight would help with Dorian's recovery as well.

"Would you like to join us downstairs for dinner or do you need more rest?" Cullen asks. 

Dorian sets down the blade he was using after his final swipe to rid himself of all but his perfectly manicured mustache–at least now it was–and walks over to him. He takes Cullen's hand and starts to drag his finger across his palm.

I'm alright to join you and your family. Dorian frowns for a moment before adding , if I won't make anyone uncomfortable.

Cullen smiles. "You won't make anyone uncomfortable. Mia and Gaius are both worried about you. They'll be glad to see you up and walking."

Dorian seemed to be relieved and smiled before hooking his arm with Cullen's and looking at him with an expression that seemed to say shall we?

Cullen couldn't help but return the smile. He didn't know if Dorian was doing his usual flirting or just using him as a crutch, but either way he would let Dorian do as he pleased. He had no idea what the mage had gone through in those few weeks he had been missing, but if something so simple gave Dorian peace of mind, even for just a moment, Cullen would indulge him.

Even if Mia was giving him a look when they descended the stairs and entered the kitchen. She didn't say anything, but Cullen knew she would tease him about it again when Dorian wasn't in earshot.

"I'm so glad to see you on your feet!" Mia says with a smile as she walks over and hugs Dorian. The mage blinks in surprise before slowly returning the hug and Cullen hides a smile. "You had us worried! I made some rice to go with your broth if you want to try and eat some."

Dorian gives her a grateful smile and allows her to lead him over to the table where she immediately sets his food in front of him.

"Don't let it get any colder. Cullen, come sit down." 

"What about your husband?" Cullen asks as he sits next to Dorian.

"He already ate. He's back out doing the chores." Mia answers as she sets food in front of Cullen. A hearty stew with some bread. It reminded him of his childhood.

"Thank you Mia." Cullen catches Dorian eyeing his stew curiously. "You can try some if you want. The vegetables should be soft enough."

Dorian considers his offer before nodding and Cullen pushes his bowl over. He spoons out some potatoes and carrots with the broth, sticks his spoon in his mouth, and to Cullen's surprise…enjoys it. Dorian always complained about the heavy meals the Fereldens made, but in his defense, stew was much better than gruel.

Maybe if they returned to Skyhold, Cullen could ask the cooks to make stew every once in a while.

Chapter Text

It was really only a matter of time before the symptoms of Cullen's lyrium withdrawal caught up with him. He had been so focused on finding Dorian and getting him somewhere safe that the adrenaline had taken precedence over everything else. Now that Dorian was safe and recovering, the pain came crashing over Cullen like a wave. He woke one morning to his entire body lit up in white-hot pain and nausea that had him scrambling for the nearest open container to retch into. Which happened to be a decorative vase Cullen would probably have to replace. That was far in the back of his mind though. As soon as he was finished emptying what little he had in his stomach, he couldn't find the energy or motivation to move.

The pain radiated through his entire body and he was already drenched in sweat from an unrelenting fever. He could do nothing but moan miserably as he slumped against the wall. Cullen hadn't had an episode like this in months but he supposed it was overdue now that he was giving himself time to relax. He would try to get some sleep–even if it was on the floor against the wall–because he refused to bother Mia. She had her hands full keeping house and helping with Dorian, and it wasn't as if this was the first time Cullen pushed through this on his own.

But then he felt something cool against his face and he couldn't help but sigh. It felt heavenly against his fevered skin and it took a few moments for him to recognize that it was a wet cloth. When it was finally pulled away, Cullen dared to crack his eyes open, only to immediately shut them again when sunlight caused his headache to intensify. There was a brief sound of curtains closing and then he braved opening his eyes again when he sensed the room was blessedly darker.

Only to find Dorian. Who was in the middle of wringing out the cloth in a bowl of water. Considering the water was too cold to be drawn from the well, he had to assume that Dorian melted down some ice with his magic to get it. The bowl and cloth were already in the room when they first arrived.

"I didn't mean to wake you," Cullen finally manages to croak out. "You should be resting. I'll be alright."

The look Dorian shot at him before he leaned forward to press the cloth against Cullen's face again made him rethink arguing against the mage's help. The man may have been mute but Cullen had been around Dorian enough to understand his expressions. At least for the most part. There had been times when he admittedly misread a situation, but this was clearly a stop being so stubborn look.

It was almost like he could understand Dorian without words. He was expressive enough to relay what he thought or wanted and Cullen was learning quickly. Before, Dorian would say things that would be completely opposite to what his face was expressing which would confuse Cullen, but now the facial expressions were all he had. Cullen was able to pick up on Dorian's needs much easier because the mage wasn't using a knee-jerk instinct to cover up how he was really feeling.

"Thank you." Cullen whispers, closing his eyes again to enjoy the cool water against his face. 

The silence that followed was expected but comfortable, with only the sound of Dorian rewetting the cloth every few minutes until Cullen felt less feverish. Only then did he attempt–and manage–to get back into bed and lay down. The nausea had fortunately been mostly gone after vomiting, and the fever was lower thanks to Dorian, but the pain was still persistent. His headache raged, his body complained…he wouldn't be getting out of bed that day unless he was given an elfroot potion. If he tried, he would only fall flat on his face.

He managed to doze off for maybe a couple of hours, and when he woke again, he found himself staring at a potion sitting on the bedside table. Cullen sits up to investigate and is pleased to find that it was an elfroot potion that happened to be sitting on top of some parchment. Cullen recognized Dorian's elegant handwriting immediately. It always made him a bit self conscious about his own. Josephine once described it as atrocious and nearly unreadable…he had been more considerate after that.

I've made you a potion. Make sure to drink it all, and if you're feeling up to it, come downstairs and try to eat something. 

Food was the farthest thing from his mind but at the same time it didn't seem like a terrible idea. Cullen could probably stomach some fruit and bread. Maybe even some broth. When had the roles reversed? He was supposed to be helping Dorian.

Though the potions the healer gave them a few days ago had done what they were intended to. Dorian was back to eating normal meals and had even sat outside with a book while Cullen helped Gaius around the farm. More than once he had caught the mage eyeing him when he looked over to check on Dorian, and the mage would either smile at him or slyly look back down at his book. As if he was trying to pretend he was only looking around at the scenery before turning his attention back to his book. Maybe he was and Cullen was looking too much into it.

With an annoyed grunt as his warring thoughts, Cullen grabs the bottle and drains the contents after uncorking it, and he lays back down to wait for the effects to kick in. It only took a few minutes for Cullen to feel well enough to get out of bed and carefully make his way downstairs, and when he did, he was surprised to find Dorian in the kitchen with Mia.

And it looked like he was helping her cook lunch.

Cullen actually looked around to see if there was any hint that he had fallen asleep after taking the potion and that he was dreaming. But the lingering pain was a little too real and confirmed that he was indeed awake.

"Now it just needs to simmer for a little while so the sauce thickens." Mia says, drawing Cullen's attention again. She catches sight of him out of the corner of her eyes and they both look at him as he joins them. "Are you feeling better? Dorian said you were sick."

Cullen rubs his face with a sigh. He never wanted to worry his family but decided telling Mia the truth would be the best decision. He had a feeling Dorian had a suspicion as to the cause of his illness as well so it was best to confirm it for himself. 

"Yes. Dorian's potion helped. I…occasionally suffer from lyrium withdrawals. It's not as bad as it was when I first stopped taking it but I suppose being worried about Dorian took priority and pushed back any episodes. This was overdue." Cullen says and clears his throat when Dorian gives him an odd glance.

He did just admit he was worried about the other man after all. It was something the mage wasn't used to.

"Of course you would do that." Mia huffs fondly. "Are you hungry at all?"

Cullen winces. "I'm…not sure. Maybe some bread or some fruit." 

Mia nods and steps outside to possibly fetch some fruit from the trees and Cullen steps closer to the table only to falter. He manages to catch himself on the edge of the table and he holds his hand out when Dorian moves immediately to help him. The mage was already placing a hand on Cullen's chest to steady him though so he bit his tongue and allowed Dorian to help ease him into a chair. If it had been anyone else, Cullen would have felt useless, but Dorian didn't look at him with pity. Cullen only saw concern and maybe some exasperation underneath that. Dorian was just worried.

And somehow Cullen knew that Dorian didn't think he was weak. Just like he didn't think Dorian was weak. They could both take care of themselves, but even the strongest warrior needed help now and then. 

"I'm alright." Cullen repeats his earlier words. "The pain…flares sometimes. The potion helped though so thank you for that."

Dorian hums in response and pats his shoulder before momentarily stepping away. He returns with a chess board which he sets on the table before taking the seat across from the commander, and Cullen looks at him in surprise. They hadn't played a game since before Dorian's abduction, and that had been at least a month ago. Cullen was also surprised because he didn't know his sister actually owned a board. They played when they were kids but he didn't think she played now.

He was pleasantly surprised to learn that that wasn't the case…though he was now afraid that nothing had changed and she would still beat him. Unless she was out of practice? The board did look a little dusty around the edges and Gaius didn't look the type to play.

But then Cullen's concerns circled back to Dorian. He seemed to be taking his new ailment very well and he couldn't decide if it was genuine or if the mage was very good at hiding what he was really feeling. Which was possible. Dorian was talented at being very expressive while at the same time wearing an unreadable mask. It was part of the reason Cullen would always get so confused.

"I may not be feeling well, but that doesn't mean I'll lose. I hope you're prepared for your inevitable defeat." Cullen taunts. He couldn't help but smile when Dorian's lips curled up into a smirk.

Aren't we feeling confident? Cullen could hear him saying.

His chest still tingled from where Dorian had touched him and now his smirk was making the rest of his body tingle just as pleasantly. Cullen almost forgot about the pain when he focused on that. He was content with taunting Dorian and getting another smirk or two, or even a glint in gray eyes while they played game after game of chess. He barely noticed when Mia had set a plate of food near him, but he did eat everything she gave him. When his focus was on Dorian or the board, he didn't worry about if the food would disagree with him. Cullen ate instinctively and only realized he did when his sister took away the empty plate and Dorian looked pleased.

It also successfully garnered his attention whenever Dorian would graze his fingers against Cullen's. He was sure that the mage was doing it on purpose since there were at least three times where there was no reason for it. Once, Dorian even deliberately took one of his pawns out of his hand to set it aside with his other pieces.

But then Cullen had to remind himself that this was just how Dorian was. He was charming and charismatic and flirted with everyone. He had different ways of flirting with different people but this was how he flirted with Cullen. Nothing too special. Just something to get a reaction from him. Dorian even admitted to it shortly after he joined the Inquisition.

He couldn't help but wonder though.

"I'm…going back to Skyhold soon." Cullen says in the middle of their third game, and looks up from the board at Dorian when he pauses. "I was only staying long enough to make sure you healed in peace. I know how some people there treat you."

Cullen watched Dorian carefully. When he saw his brows start to furrow and his lips downturn into a frown, he took the risk of reaching over to grab the mage's wrist. 

"What you decide to do is up to you," Cullen continues when Dorian looks up at him. "If you want to stay here, Mia and Gaius said you're more than welcome to stay. I would visit of course."

The glare that Dorian gave him was enough indication that he wasn't staying behind. Which Cullen expected and it made him sigh because now he had to voice his concerns. He wasn't good with words but he was going to damn well try.

"I didn't think you would but I wanted you to know that was an option," Cullen laughs nervously before releasing Dorian's wrist to rub the back of his neck. "I just ask that if you return to Skyhold with me that you tell me if someone tries to hurt you. I know you can defend yourself but I still worry."

The glare quickly shifted into something unreadable but Dorian nodded all the same so Cullen didn't think too much into it.

"There's…always Tevinter too." Cullen says quietly and he frowns at the thought of it. "I don't like that option but it's not my decision to make. You've told me enough that I would only worry if you're safe. I–" he stops when he notices his sister. "Nevermind."

He didn't want this conversation with anyone but Dorian who was still giving him that unreadable look and making Cullen feel like he overstepped. But he couldn't help it. He saw what Dorian looked like when he found him and now part of him refused to leave Dorian to his own devices. He wanted the mage within reach at all times but he knew that was unreasonable. Dorian could take care of himself. He didn't need Cullen fighting his battles or snarling at anyone who even thought of harming him, but that was all he wanted to do. Dorian was his friend and he never wanted to see him covered in his own blood again. He already lost his voice.

"I better go write a letter to inform the others that I'll be returning to Skyhold within the week." Cullen says, getting up and knocking over his king. 

Never once had he thrown a game against Dorian. An unfinished game was either set aside to be finished later or completely forgotten, but a game was never thrown. Cullen had too many conflicting feelings he was trying to sort through and he just didn't have the energy to finish the game. So he walked back up to the bedroom with the intention to write his letter like he had said, but he paused in front of the fireplace. Then he cursed because what was going on with him?

Just a month ago he and Dorian were close friends, but now Cullen might be feeling more. Maybe those feelings were always there but he didn't notice them until he found Dorian in that cave. When he saw the state the mage was in, not only had he been worried, but he had been angry . Angry at Dorian's captives for hurting him like they did, for forcing such a painful and corrosive poison down his throat so that he may never speak again, and angry that the Inquisition didn't do more. The last was unreasonable because the Inquisitor adored Dorian, but Cullen went out by himself to find the mage because they were taking too long.

The thoughts circled over and over in his head until he suddenly stopped. Stopped and realized that he wouldn't have gone to such lengths, gone by himself, to find someone else. He wouldn't have done it for Sera or the Iron Bull. He would've stayed behind and done exactly as Leliana did. Send some soldiers out in the hopes that they found them. But Dorian? Cullen couldn't sit back.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he almost didn't notice the door opening and then clicking shut again, but he did and looked over to find Dorian looking at him. A little peeved too. Cullen wouldn't be surprised if it was because he threw their chess game.

"I'm sorry." He mumbles. "I…I'm not good with words. I didn't want to talk about it in front of Mia either. I only want to ask that you be careful whatever you decide to do."

Dorian huffs and walks closer to grab Cullen's wrist to lift it and trace his finger across his palm.

Do you think I would return to Tevinter and not grace you with my presence every day? Perish the thought. 

Cullen chuckles dryly. "I suppose not."

You worry about me?

"...yes." Cullen admits. "Now more than ever. You are my friend and seeing you that way…I won't let it happen again if I can help it."

Dorian smiles softly. The things you say Commander.

That confused Cullen but he decided not to pursue it. At least for now.

"Are you sure you're well enough to travel?"

I will be fine. I have a few more days to recuperate and learn your sister's recipe for that sweet bread.

Cullen finally laughs. "I thought I saw you cooking. I'll be sure to tell Varric."

Dorian's dirty look was enough warning even though Cullen didn't actually plan on telling anyone. It was nice to see the mage interested in something like cooking because he knew he would never catch Dorian dead trying to muck out the stables. He would say something about his attire not being appropriate for the job but they both knew the mage felt above a chore like that. But the fact that he was willing to learn to cook was a nice surprise…even if it was just things like Mia's sweet bread.

Write your letter and get some more rest. You looked terrible this morning.

"Yes, dear." Cullen snorts and then rubs his forehead when Dorian flicks it in irritation.

He didn't miss the gleam in gray eyes though. Something that looked like hope to Cullen. But he was probably looking too much into it again.

Chapter Text

The evening before they were set to leave, a scream had Cullen jolting awake and flying out of bed. He wasn't even sure if it was his sister that screamed but he still grabbed his sword and shield in his haste to investigate the disturbance. He was glad he did. As Cullen was descending the stairs, he saw the front door wide open and a red templar cornering Mia by the dining table.

Without a second thought, Cullen rushed the templar to knock it away from his sister and forced it back outside where he found more of them prowling the area. Fortunately they hadn't gotten any closer to the main village as Mia and Gaius's farm sat on the outskirts of it and he was going to make sure they didn't go any further. This part of South Reach was supposedly absent of any red templars or Venatori but it wasn't unlikely that they were slowly migrating this way. Cullen had been absent from Skyhold for a little over a month now so he didn't have any updates from Leliana or Josephine.

He had to wonder if Leliana even knew. If she did, she would have warned him of their impending arrival since she knew where he was. She had known from the very beginning. It made his need to get to Skyhold more urgent. Their enemies were branching out farther than he had thought.

Another shield bash knocked his current target further away from the house but toward the rest of the groups of templars, but Cullen had no other choice. He had to keep them away from the village. He just had to be more observant of his enemies since he was in nothing but a tunic and trousers. He was completely exposed.

The red templar he bashed happened to fall back so it was easy for Cullen to jump on the chance to bring his sword down into its chest–and through its breastplate–to kill it. But it also gave the other three time to surround him. He watched them with a tactical eye as he drew his sword back out and brought it up just in time to parry and attack from the one closest to him. The second it drew back to swing again, Cullen swiftly thrust his sword through the small opening between breastplate and pauldron to pierce its heart.

There was at least one pro to not having his armor on. He was faster. He didn't have as much weight behind his shield bashes but he still has enough strength to give himself space. Which he did so he could properly face the last two when the second templar fell. They both rushed him with an inhuman roar and Cullen was barely able to hold his position when he held his shield up. He couldn't when the one on his left managed to get a hit to his side and Cullen slipped and fell back. With a grunt, he keeps his shield up to protect himself from their attacks but at the rate they were assaulting him, he wouldn't find an opening to either roll away or attack them before he tired out.

Just as he considered taking the risk of swinging his sword at the leg of the closest templar, Cullen felt it. A prickling energy in the air and the smell of ozone before a very powerful chain lightning hit the red templars and sent them stumbling back with pained roars. Cullen didn't waste any time getting back to his feet and rushing one of the Templars again to bury his sword through its breastplate as another jolt of lightning crashed down on the other. 

When both fall to the ground, Cullen steps back with a few pants and looks around for any more potential enemies before reaching up to wipe away the droplet of sweat on his brow. The action sent searing pain up his side and he groaned before instinctively pressing a hand to his side. It was met with a warm sticky feeling and when he pulled his hand away, he was able to make out blood on his hand by the light of the moon.

"Maker…" Cullen mumbles to himself just as Dorian steps up to him and grabs his arms. To look him over no doubt. "I'm alright. It's just a scratch."

Dorian tsks in disapproval and leads him back to the house where Mia and Gaius were already lighting candles. It was then that Cullen noticed that Dorian didn't have a staff with him. How could he when the mage's was destroyed when he was kidnapped and the village didn't sell any? Dorian technically didn't need one as staffs were to help a mage channel magic, but using magic without it took a lot of focus and control. His hands were still sparking but it was harmless which Cullen was grateful for.

When the mage led him to a chair at the table, Cullen obediently sat with a wince and set his sword and shield aside so Dorian could take a closer look.

"You're wounded." Gaius observes.

"Just a scratch." Cullen reassures him. "It looks worse than it is.

Dorian tugs the bottom of Cullen's shirt off in a silent request for the commander to remove it, and he does so with the mage's help. They both ignore Mia's soft gasp when his wound is properly revealed and Cullen winces again. Not completely from the pain though. His scratch turned out to be more of a gash and he was losing quite a bit of blood. It made him realize how light headed he was starting to get. Dorian gave him a pointed look–which Cullen chose to ignore–before holding his hand over the wound and sending healing magic into it.

As his skin knit back together, Cullen remembered the conversation he had with Dorian about his ability to heal. Necromancy wasn't a usual specialization that mages decided on, but when they did, they were usually poor healers. Not Dorian though. One of the reasons the Inquisitor took him over Vivienne or Solas was because he was a very competent healer. When Cullen asked him about it, Dorian had said necromancy and healing magic were two sides of the same coin. In a sense at least. Learning both made his understanding and manipulation of the magic that much stronger.

He still favored necromancy and storm magic over all else though. He was also one of the only mages who could use time magic. A very small amount. But the only other mage that could do so was Alexius and that was if he had the pendant.

Dorian didn't need it.

When Dorian was finished healing him, Cullen made an attempt to stand up, only to have to hold himself up with the table with the room spun. He could vaguely feel someone's hand on his chest to help keep him up, but he couldn't check until his vision corrected itself. Of course the hand belonged to Dorian.

"Got up too fast." Cullen murmurs and gets a nod from Dorian before he looks at his sister. "Are you hurt?"

Mia shakes her head. "No. You got here before that templar could do anything."

The commander sighs with relief. "Good. It was a red templar. I didn't think they were out this far but Dorian and I have taken care of them. When we get to Skyhold, we'll send some agents here. You should be alright until then."

"Will you be able to make the trip?" Gaius asks.

"Dorian took care of the worst of it. With some rest, I'll be fine." Cullen answers. 

"Go back to bed," Mia says softly. "I'll get my water and we'll be going back to bed ourselves."

With another nod, Cullen grabs his equipment and climbs the stairs with Dorian close behind. When they get back to their room, he carefully sets them aside and walks over to the dresser to pull out a clean tunic to wear to bed. Before he can pull it on though, Dorian grabs his arm and pulls him over to the washbasin where he grabs the cloth and dips it into the water and then wrings it out. Cullen opens his mouth to ask what Dorian was doing but the mage was already wiping away the drying blood on his side.

Cullen blinks in surprise but then the smell of cinnamon and cloves reaches his nose and he realizes how close in proximity the two of them were. Dorian's hand was on his shoulder so he could balance himself while tending to Cullen, but it might as well have been burning him. In a pleasant way of course. Dorian's touch sent a warm feeling throughout his entire body and for a moment he thought the mage was using magic, but he wasn't. It was just his touch.

Maybe it was time to stop denying his growing feelings toward Dorian. But if he did, it would only ever hurt him in the end. In Dorian's words, he was a "barbaric, Ferelden doglord" and would not be anything remotely close to what the other man wanted. Dorian was used to silks and refineries. Not rough wool and…savagery.

Not to mention his nightmares. It was a miracle he hadn't woken Dorian more with his nightmares. They happened almost every night and he knew he tossed and turned in his sleep, but Dorian didn't complain. Whether that was because he was actually unbothered or because he actually couldn't was to be determined. Knowing Dorian, it was probably because he couldn't.

Then again, the mage still has his ways of complaining even without his voice. His glare downstairs was evidence enough. It was no wonder he and Mia hit it off like a house on fire.

Cullen would enjoy the closeness while he could though. Enjoy the friendship Dorian offered. Enjoy the parts of him behind the mask that he didn't let others see. Not even the Inquisitor.

He would even enjoy the way Dorian's magic seemed to blanket around him whenever the mage used it around him. Cullen thought maybe he was really getting comfortable around mages but he had sensed Solas's and Vivienne's magic when they used it. Of course they had their own specializations and preferred elements, but it still didn't feel quite right. With theirs, it all seemed to just hang in the air around him, but with Dorian's, it felt like it danced around him. Embraced him.

Was it because he trusted Dorian the most or because he had more than friendly feelings toward him? Or maybe it was both?

"Thank you," Cullen finally whispers and Dorian looks up from his task of cleaning up the blood on his side. "Not…just for this. I owe you my life."

Dorian moves away without any form of response and Cullen watches him curiously. He was expecting a smug look or at least a huff, but Dorian did nothing. Nothing except rinse the cloth before hanging it over the side of the basin and then grabbing Cullen's hand to write in it with his finger.

That was nothing compared to what you did for me. Cullen bites back his argument when Dorian looks up and meets his gaze. You came when no one else did.

"...of course I did." Cullen says softly. "You're…important to me."

Even after all this time of learning Dorian's expressions now that it was his main way of communicating, the look he gave Cullen was unreadable to him. It was like he was searching for something but couldn't seem to find what he was looking for. Then Dorian cupped his face in his hands and Cullen held his breath, but didn't move away. The space between them felt even smaller than before and it took him a moment to realize it was because Dorian had closed the distance even more. The heat radiating from the both of them made the small sliver of space between them molten hot and Cullen didn't dare move away. 

He was getting light headed again.

"When the Inquisitor came back with everyone but you and he informed us that you were taken from the camp in the middle of night…" Cullen starts quietly. "We all did what we could to find you, but even Leliana couldn't find a trace of you. I couldn't sit around and wait."

Cullen paused when one of Dorian's hands fell down to rest over his chest and before he could think about it, he put his own hand over it. Dorian didn't immediately move away and it made Cullen's heart beat harder. Was there some chance that Dorian felt a little more for him too? He didn't take flirting this far, especially not in a situation like this. They were just a hair's breadth away from kissing –

"For what it's worth, I would notice if you were gone." He finishes lamely. He never was good with words.

They stood there in silence that wasn't quite comfortable anymore because Dorian was still staring , and Cullen couldn't handle it anymore. He took a risk. He closed the distance between their mouths with a kiss that started out awkward, but he was quick to correct it when Dorian responded with fervor. Cullen's heart soared because there was a chance , and he didn't care about the consequences right now. He didn't care to think that maybe this would turn out to be a fling for Dorian and it couldn't go past their friendship.

He didn't even care that he could wind up heartbroken immediately after this.

He enjoyed the gasps and sighs he got from Dorian as he slowly backed him up against the wall to pin him there, and he rumbled softly when the mage's hands moved to explore the expanse of his back. He could've stood there for ages kissing Dorian, but they were unfortunately both human and required air. With some reluctance, Cullen pulls away and opens his eyes, not even knowing he had closed them in the first place, and finds silver eyes half hooded. Dorian's pants synchronize with his own as they catch their breath and Cullen can't help but smirk.

"Have I rendered you speechless?" Dorian huffs in response and Cullen chuckles softly. "I'm sorry. Bad joke."

Dorian leans closer to kiss him again and pulls away to give him a look that appears to say you're forgiven.  

"We should rest," Cullen says softly. "We leave for Skyhold tomorrow."

Dorian nods in agreement and walks over to the bed while Cullen finally pulls his shirt on. Dorian may have healed his wound but it was still a bit sore and he had forgotten all about it until he felt the small twinge when he pulled his shirt over his head. He grunts in surprise and closes his eyes while waiting for the pain to pass, then walks over to get into bed himself. The second he was settled, he was surprised when Dorian sidled up to his side and threw an arm over his chest and one of his legs over Cullen's, using the commander's shoulder as a pillow.

He only hoped his nightmares didn't make him active tonight.

Cullen and Dorian set off for Skyhold early the next morning so they could reach it by nightfall, and Mia had gotten up to see them off. She packed them some provisions which she gave to Cullen and then giggled at Dorian who looked less than happy to be up so early. This time, Dorian had his own horse that Gaius was kind enough to buy for them when Cullen gave him the coin so his own horse wasn't burdened with Cullen and Dorian. It was hard enough on the horse with just Cullen because of his armor.

The journey was fortunately eventless, besides Dorian entertaining himself by occasionally giving Cullen a shock somewhere on his body. Normally the commander wouldn't take well to magic being used on him, but it was harmless and it was Dorian's. While Dorian gave off the air that he would risk pissing off a templar–or an ex-templar in Cullen's case–he did have some consideration. So it was more than likely he knew Cullen trusted him.

Despite the fact that he trusted Dorian though, Cullen was grateful when they finally arrived at Skyhold's bridge because the mage's antics had lost their humor hours ago. The only reason Cullen tolerated it was because Dorian couldn't fill the silence with his ramblings. Something Cullen admittedly missed.

They were barely through the gates, and Cullen barely off his horse before Leliana and Cassandra were handing him missives and reports and catching him up on everything that happened while he was gone. He expected Dorian to walk into the castle proper in the meantime to return to his alcove, but a quick glance over his shoulder found the mage standing just behind him.

Strange.

"Leliana, can you spare some agents to South Reach? We were attacked by Red Templars." Cullen finally asks.

"I think I can send a couple. Perhaps you should also send some of your troops. You've more to spare now. We've gotten more recruits while you were gone." She answers.

"Right. I'll send the order." Cullen says and the two women walk off. When he turns to talk to Dorian, he finds the mage gone.

He didn't think much of it. The man was exhausted and hungry and likely went to the tavern for some food and drink before he went to bed. In the meantime, Cullen went up to his office where he put all of the paperwork on his desk and immediately got to work trying to catch up on his large pile. Cassandra and Rylen took over for him while he was gone, but from the looks of the pile that was a light gust away from toppling over, they left almost everything for him to read over when he sent the letter that he would be returning.

He supposed it could be worse, but he might not be getting sleep anyhow.

Cullen was about an hour into his workload when a plate of food suddenly dropped on the desk in front of him and distracted him. He didn't even hear anyone come in. When he looked up and found Dorian standing on the other side of the desk with a bottle of wine and a goblet in his hands, Cullen straightened. And then promptly groaned when his back popped.

"I thought you had gone to bed," Cullen says and then pulls his plate closer. "Thank you."

As Cullen mindlessly eats his food and skims over the report in his hand, Dorian pours him some wine and then walks around the desk and starts pushing off his mantle. The commander looks at him when he starts tugging on the buckles of his breastplate and Cullen puts his report down to help. Dorian didn't need to look at him to get across the fact that he was going to at least make sure he worked comfortably. Knowing Dorian though, he would get Cullen to go to bed within the next hour.

Your reports will still be there in the morning after you've gotten some sleep , he could hear Dorian saying. To know him well enough to know what he would say probably helped him read the man's expressions.

"Has anyone bothered you?" Cullen asks after the breastplate is lifted off and Dorian shakes his head while the commander unbuckles the rest of his armor and sets it on the stand. "Please tell me if they do."

Dorian gives him a look that clearly said that he didn't need Cullen's protection, but then the look softened. A realization that Cullen knew that and was only referring to if it got to a point where Dorian couldn't call for help if he needed to. He couldn't and that was one of the things that worried Cullen. If anyone tried to hurt Dorian, he wouldn't know. The mage was physically stronger than most and in Skyhold he would only use magic as a last resort, but there was always a possibility he wouldn't be able to defend himself either way.

"Please," Cullen repeats softly and Dorian nods as he turns his attention to the pile on Cullen's desk. He regards it momentarily before grabbing a small amount from it and placing it on top of the report Cullen was looking at. Then he looks back at the commander with a pointed look and Cullen can't help but sigh. "Alright. I'll leave the rest for tomorrow."

Dorian smiles and grabs Cullen's chin to pull him into a brief kiss and then saunters over to the door leading to the library.

"Good night Dorian." The commander calls out and smiles when he gets a half-hearted wave in response.

Chapter Text

As much as he wanted to continue to spend time with Dorian, Cullen had responsibilities and he had to attend to them. Especially after being away for so long. The stack of papers Dorian forced him to leave for the next day were now on a small board so he could do paperwork while supervising the training session, which wasn't an easy task since both needed a good amount of his attention. After glancing up and finding one of his soldiers holding his shield incorrectly that could lead to an injury, Cullen gave up on the paperwork until training was over.

It had nothing to do with the big fat drop of water that landed on the report the troops from the Hinterlands sent back. It was all the warning he had to safely move it all out of the oncoming storm before the sky let loose. Within moments, the rain was pouring down and Cullen continued the training while the rest of Skyhold took shelter from the onslaught of rain.

"Watch your footing!" Cullen yells over the downpour. "Our enemy won't be taking a break because of the rain and neither will we!"

The storm was an eye opener to Cullen. It made it clear to him how much more training the soldiers needed and was constantly moving around correcting stances and grips. These people didn't know how to fight in extreme weather but he supposed it was to be expected because most of them volunteered. These were farmers and even nobles. People that didn't know what really happened on the battlefield but still wished to help any way they could to help the Inquisition.

So Cullen kept that in mind and eased up on his training, but was still firm enough to make sure they knew how to adjust and didn't hurt themselves. He continued the training until lightning flashed overhead and he had to call everything off for their safety. By then, they were all soaked, covered in mud, and surely freezing so the soldiers didn't hesitate when Cullen gave them the command to seek shelter until the storm passed.

Only when the last person went inside did Cullen return to his tower. Water dropped from his hair and his chin and he was sure he looked like a drowned rat without having to look in a mirror.

He started removing his armor which was fantastic for extra defense but horrible for keeping water away from the clothes he wore underneath, and he fumbled with the buckle of his chest plate. His fingers were ice cold and he hadn't even noticed until now. Cullen looked toward his fireplace and deliberated making a fire first so he could warm up his hands, but he didn't think his fingers had the capability to even do that. With a heavy sigh, Cullen continues to try and open the buckle in the hopes that he could eventually get it to cooperate…but then a fire blazed to life in the fireplace.

Cullen jumps a little and looks at it in surprise, but then another pair of hands gently swat his away and quickly works the buckle open. When the breast plate was removed, Cullen was finally able to see who had helped him and was a little surprised to find Dorian. The man wasn't even a little bit wet but that was easily explained away with magic. Cullen was just surprised he opted to go out in the storm to come to his tower.

"Thank you." Cullen breathes out and quickly moves closer to the fire to start the process of warming himself up. He shivers as the warmth of the flames start to chase away the chill but that was abruptly interrupted when Dorian began to tug his tunic over his head. "Maker's–!"

The rest of his surprised yelp was cut off when his shirt conveniently covered his mouth, and when it was pulled off, Cullen shivered again. He barely had time to do that before Dorian started for his trousers and he blushed bright red.

"I can manage that myself thank you!" Cullen practically yelps, ignoring Dorian's smirk. The mage walks over to the ladder and makes his way up to Cullen's loft and the commander turns his attention back to the fire to try and warm up again.

An involuntary sneeze escaped from him and he hoped it wasn't a sign that the storm had caused him to get sick. He couldn't afford to get sick since he had only just returned to Skyhold and had too much to catch up on. But the way Dorian was pulling his clothes off of him, he may very well avoid catching a cold. 

Having the mage thrust a pile of dry clothes into his arms and point to his dripping trousers he had yet to remove was further confirmation of that. By then, Cullen felt warm enough to pull off his boots and his trousers, and he grabbed the dry pair when he found that his small clothes were fortunately dry. Once he was dressed again and kicked his wet clothes off to the side, he was assaulted with a towel over his head. Dorian vigorously used it to get his hair somewhat dry, and when he pulled it off, Cullen subconsciously reached up to tame golden curls back into place.

"Was that really necessary?" Cullen sighs and Dorian grabs his hand.

Someone has to make sure you're taken care of and don't get sick. We both know it won't be you.

Cullen bites his lip to keep from arguing and instead says, "thank you. I appreciate that you came out in this storm to check on me."

The smile that Dorian gave him was borderline dazzling. It made Cullen warm for an entirely different reason and he could bask in it forever. 

"I would offer something to drink but I'm afraid I don't have anything," Cullen says sheepishly. "I do have the chessboard if you'd like to play."

Another time perhaps. Dorian traces into his palm. I have to prepare for my outing with the Inquisitor. We'll be heading to the–

Cullen didn't let him finish because all he could see was red. Dorian had only just healed and returned and the Inquisitor wanted to take him back out? The mage was still figuring out ways to communicate and so far Cullen was the only one who could understand Dorian's expressions. At least he was the one who understood them the most. He knew how Dorian thought and he knew that the mage had a habit of hiding behind masks.

Before he knew it, Cullen was striding right of the tower toward the library and getting soaked all over again. When servants and nobles alike saw him with his purposeful stride, they wisely stepped out of the way as the commander headed for the Inquisitor's quarters. He didn't even bother knocking. Cullen barged straight in and stomped up the stairs to find Trevelyan at his desk.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Cullen demands, slamming his hands on the desk and sending an inkwell onto its side.

Trevelyan sighs when ink spreads across numerous reports but looks up at Cullen. "I'm guessing Dorian told you I'm taking him with me?"

"He's only just healed! We don't know anything about who took him and why and now you want to take him back out when he can't even call for help?" Cullen moves away before the Inquisitor can answer and takes to pacing the floor.

"I didn't demand anything from him," Trevelyan finally says. "I asked him and he agreed. Dorian is capable of making his own decisions."

Cullen couldn't argue with that. Logically he knew Dorian was more than capable of handling himself, even while mute, but he was afraid of a repeat. It was bad enough seeing Dorian covered in his own blood the first time. The sight sent him into such a rage that he killed everyone he saw where the mage was being held, but if he ever had to see it again? Cullen wasn't sure what he would end up doing.

"Then I'm coming with you," Cullen states and stops his pacing to look at Trevelyan. "Whenever you take him, you have to take me too."

"I don't see why not." The Inquisitor says with a shrug and starts an attempt to clean up the ink. "It would be good for my commander to get a better lay of the land anyway."

Cullen was expecting some sort of argument that he was needed in Skyhold, so when Trevelyan agreed, it left him feeling a little floundered. He even opened and closed his mouth once or twice before clearing his throat and nodding.

"I will go prepare for the trip then."

Dorian had been irritated that Cullen stormed off to confront the Inquisitor about his own choice, but he wasn't actually angry when Cullen told him that he would be joining them. In fact, Dorian had told him that he expected it. With the way the commander nearly hovered to make sure he didn't sneeze and break a rib–

Cullen had to defend himself. He wasn't that bad.

"I think Curly is going to have a heart attack and it will have nothing to do with Sparkler." Varric observes humorously.

Cullen sputters. "He just jumped off the cliff! Does he always do that?! Why did he even–"

Dorian interrupts him by grabbing his hand and tracing one word into it.

"Wine?!" Cullen asks incredulously.

Varric was probably right. The fate of Thedas rested in the hand(s) of a man who would jump off a cliff for a bit of vintage and Varric and Dorian just watched. Cullen was afraid of what else the Inquisitor got up to during his outings.

"He does it for some shards for that temple in the Forbidden Oasis too," Varric answers as if reading his thoughts. "Those things are even more out of the way than the wine is."

"Maker's breath…" Cullen mumbles and rubs his eyes. He was getting a headache and it had nothing to do with lyrium withdrawals.

Then he was distracted by the unnerving feeling of being watched. Cullen lifted his gaze to the trees around them and subtly looked for enemies in hiding. It had to be rogues since Cullen didn't see anyone in the immediate vicinity of their position, so he looked for any kind of movement in the shadows. His hand went to the pommel of his sword when the bushes started to rustle but then he relaxed when a ram stepped out. Cullen wasn't quite used to being outside as most of his experience was in a Circle or Kirkwall, but some of his training still helped.

"I guess I have sounds to adjust to." Cullen sighs.

"Not exactly." Varric says. "The Storm Coast can fool the best of us so there's nothing wrong with listening to gut instinct. Ask the Bull about when he went to take a leak."

Cullen makes a face. "I don't think I want to."

Then he heard it. The quietest of creaks before the whistling of an arrow flying their way and his hand darted out to catch it just before it found its mark in Dorian's neck. Both he and the mage stared at the projectile in surprise, mostly because they were both impressed that Cullen had managed to catch it, but it was short lived. Another arrow was loosed and found its mark in Cullen's shoulder and he cried out in pain as his hand automatically reached up in an attempt to stop the pain by just holding the area. 

He wasn't even sure how the arrow managed to pierce through his armor, but he would investigate later when they weren't in immediate danger. Dorian was actually the first to react to the attack and in the time it took Varric to load Bianca and prepare his own attack, the mage had covered them with a shield and called down a bolt of lightning on the one who managed to hit Cullen. When the commander finally managed to pull the arrow out and unsheathe his sword, he cast a quick glance down the hill where the Inquisitor had disappeared to but couldn't see the man. 

It was something he would have to worry about later when they were no longer in danger if the man didn't show up. So Cullen focused his attention on the closer enemies, trusting Dorian and Varric to take care of the archers further away. There were only a few warriors to take care of and while Cullen was a little rusty, even when he had to fight off the Red Templars at Mia's farm, he managed to make quick work of dispatching them. He looked around for more enemies and when he saw a flash of light out of the corner of his eye, he looked to find Dorian. 

The mage was surrounded by a few rogues and little space to move so Cullen acted accordingly. He knew he wouldn't make it in time if he simply ran over so he grabbed the knife sheathed in his boot and threw it at the rogue closest to Dorian. The man fell with a gurgled cry and it gave Dorian an opening to flee to a safer distance while Varric picked off another rogue with his bolt and for Trevelyan to sneak up behind the last rogue and sink his daggers into his back.

"Are you alright?" Cullen asks Dorian when he moves closer. He sighs when the mage waves him off and he walks over to the dead rogue to retrieve his knife. It was then he remembered the wound in his shoulder and he winced when the movement of his arm pulled at it.

"Here." Trevelyan offers him an elfroot potion which Cullen takes gratefully. "How did an arrow pierce your armor?"

"I'm not sure. It's good metal so maybe the arrow is made from something stronger." Cullen says. 

"Any dizziness?" Varric asks. "The arrow could have been poisoned."

Cullen shakes his head. "I'm fine. The potion did what it was supposed to.

"Well I suppose we can go shut down the smuggling operation they have at the other end of the coast." The Inquisitor says. "It'll help slow down the supply of red lyrium."

Cullen completely agreed. If they shut down one route, they would have to find another way to smuggle red lyrium, which meant their enemy would be weaker. So after some collective agreement, they headed for the hidden docks and as soon as they stepped into an area affected with and growing red lyrium, Cullen had to stop. Regular lyrium had a smell to it, and so did the blight infected red…but the red had a song to it. He remembered Varric saying something about his brother claiming the red lyrium had a song, but he didn't know what the dwarf was talking about until now.

It was true that Meredith had a blade forged with the red lyrium but he hadn't been around it or her enough to hear it like she and Bartrand did. It was why he wondered if there truly was a song to it at all. But now he knew it was true. There was much more around and made it easier to hear, and it felt like it was singing to the lyrium left in his body. It made his skin crawl.

A hand on his shoulder pulls him out of his trance and he looks to find Dorian giving him a worried expression. "I'm alright. But I prefer that we do what we came for and leave as soon as possible." He tells him.

"You and me both Curly." Varric mumbles.

It wasn't hard to find the boats. The path to the docks was relatively straightforward. Cullen noticed that Dorian stayed a little closer than usual but he appreciated the mage's concern. The deeper they went, the more nauseated he became. It was like the mere presence of the red lyrium was making him experience withdrawals.

So he was more than happy when they made quick work of the smugglers and the red lyrium. Cullen couldn't get out fast enough. He had enough of the red lyrium the second he stepped into the ruins, so the fresh air that hit his face when they finally left had him scrambling to a tree.

If only to hold himself up while he retched.

His breakfast had long since digested so all that came up was bile, and he noticed with some disdain that it was tinged blue. Whether or not it was a good thing was to be determined though. 

"We'll find a place to camp for the night." Trevelyan says. "I think we all need some rest after that."

"I don't want to hold you back." Cullen rasps and the Inquisitor shakes his head.

"You're not. We always need a break after dealing with red lyrium. It'll be getting dark soon anyway."

Cullen spits out the residual bile sitting in his mouth, accepting the water skin Varric hands him and rinses his mouth before looking up to the sky. The sun was already getting ready to set to the point that if they didn't hurry to find camp, they would be scrambling around in the dark. Cullen would rather not have anyone fall off a cliff they didn't see. So with a nod, he returned the skin to the dwarf and then made their way to the nearest camp they had established.

They arrived just as it was getting too dark to see and Cullen immediately found a seat on a log by the fire and wrestled his chest plate off so he could breathe. He felt feverish and clammy, and even still a little nauseated despite his earlier episode, and he rubbed his neck in a pointless attempt to quell the ache growing there.

"I'd hate to imagine how the red lyrium affects you all at the Emprise." Cullen mumbles. "Based on the reports you've written, it's everywhere."

Varric grimaces. "It's not fun, that's for sure. It gives Sparkler headaches."

Dorian makes some sort of noise of confirmation as he sits by Cullen to examine the wound on his shoulder. It was mostly healed thanks to the potion, but with a bit more healing from Dorian, it was as if it never happened. Cullen thanked him softly, but then groaned appreciatively when the next thing the mage did was reach up and place a cold hand on his forehead. It did wonders for his nausea and possible fever. In fact, the ache ebbed away but it was possible that Dorian poured some more healing into him.

Cullen didn't even care how he looked leaning into Dorian's hand. He, Cassandra, and Trevelyan knew he stopped taking lyrium and it was possible that Varric had a suspicion. It was only a matter of time before others found out.

Dinner and sleep? Dorian suggests into his palm and Cullen nods so the mage gets up to get some food from the nearby soldiers. Cullen was handed a simple broth which he was grateful for since he wasn't sure how his stomach would handle much more, and the others had some sort of stew. The broth helped with the rest of his nausea and Cullen didn't even try to fight sleep. He had no paperwork demanding his attention and he was exhausted from all the running around they did that day. He bid the others good night after handing an agent his empty bowl, and shed the rest of his armor once he stepped into a tent. With an audible 'fwump', Cullen laid on a bedroll with an exhausted sigh and was asleep moments after his head hit the pillow.

He didn't even wake when another body soon joined him.

Chapter Text

The journey back to Skyhold had fortunately been event free which Cullen was especially thankful for since his armor was damaged. He had even gone straight to Dagna to ask her to repair his armor before he even asked for any reports of what happened while he had been gone. More paperwork was piled haphazardly on his desk and the sight itself started a headache at the base of his skull.

That had been what he focused on for the next couple of days, the first simply sorting them all out in the hopes that he could send them off to Rylen or Cassandra to be done but it was only a meager amount to his misfortune. But further investigation had him throwing at least half of them into the fire whether they weren't necessary to respond to or because they were a waste of his time.

Like some silly love note a visiting noble must have slipped onto his desk.

No thank you .

Dorian found humor in it though. The mage was a more frequent visitor to Cullen's tower, so much so that he procured a chaise from somewhere and positioned it behind the commander's desk but near the fireplace. If Dorian needed a break or simply didn't have anything he needed to research, he spent a lot of his time reading in Cullen's office. It was a balm to his nerves anyway. A part of him always worried about the man when he wasn't in sight because of the collective dislike of the Tevinter mage, but it had seemed to abate little by little once the people began to realize that Dorian wasn't the enemy and truly wanted to help their cause.

He also liked to pester Cullen when he felt that he had been working too long. Like now. Dorian was slowly growing persistent in poking and prodding at whatever part of Cullen he could reach, which happened to be his thigh.

He only grunted irritably for the first hour before he finally gave in and dropped the papers in his hands. "Would you like to get some lunch?" Cullen sighs.

Dorian closes his book with a snap and a victorious smile before placing it on the chaise to read later. Then Cullen was being led by his tunic out the western door and toward the tavern. It was a little embarrassing, but any soldiers nearby that happened to glance their way didn't seem to bat an eye. Perhaps it happened more often than he realized.

"Dragging me around is really unnecessary," Cullen huffs and straightens when the mage finally releases him. "I also could have sent a runner to fetch us some lunch."

Dorian turned on his heel to level an unimpressed look at the commander before grabbing his hand.

Just because you went on one of our little excursions doesn't mean you can hole yourself up in your office for days on end. It'll do you some good to get out once or twice a day and let your mind rest.

The mage pulls his hand away with a knowing glance and Cullen rubs the back of his neck with a sigh. Dorian probably had a good point. Being constantly hunched over wasn't helping with the symptoms of his lyrium withdrawal, and a brief walk at the very least could help.

"How could I hole myself up when you're around to poke and prod at me?" Cullen huffs humorously, opening the door to the tavern when they arrive. Dorian steps in first and walks down the stairs with Cullen close behind and they find an empty table to sit at. "I've been meaning to ask, and I apologize if this is…uncouth…but have you tried to find a way to reverse the damage?"

Dorian raises an eyebrow until Cullen motions to his throat and he reaches out to take his hand.

I've tried a couple of things, but Vivienne thinks she might have an elixir she can make that will help. She's in the process of making it and it should be done by this evening. Dorian glanced up at Cullen and smirks. Do you miss the sound of my voice Commander?

Cullen couldn't fight down his blush. "I'll admit…it has felt unnatural for you to be so quiet. I know you want to go back home to Tevinter and try to make changes but I fear you won't be able to if you can't speak your mind."

Dorian only gave him a fond smiles and sat back just as the barmaid came by with a couple tankards of ale and the food they were serving for the day. Cullen sent her off with a smile and some coin before digging into his meal with gusto. He always took advantage of having an appetite when he had one, courtesy of the withdrawals, but he began to notice little by little that his appetite remained more and more. Perhaps because Dorian pestered him into a somewhat regular eating schedule? When Cullen refused to eat because of a lack of appetite, the mage personally went down to the kitchens and hand picked what he thought would entice the commander to eat.

He was rather good at it too. Cullen did end up eating everything Dorian brought him, as well as the water, albeit slower than usual. But he did eat. Those instances were fewer and far between than in the beginning.

"Fancy britches got you to come down from your tower, eh?" Sera says, making herself comfortable on the bench next to Cullen…and helping herself to the bread the barmaid brought by moments before. "Been seeing more and more of you. Think it's good for you. Makes you less stuffy and less of an arse."

Cullen huffs. "Someone has to be."

"Leave it to Cassandra. Your pointy sticks do better when you're in a better mood and they actually see you." Sera cackles when Dorian snorts at the elf's description of Cullen's soldiers. "I'm surprised, you know?"

"About what?"

"That you haven't skewered the mage here–not like that ." Sera says when Dorian chokes on his mouthful of stew. "Is sex all you think about? Don't answer that. I meant because even though he can't talk anymore, I'm sure he finds other ways to get your attention. Magic, right?"

Cullen ignores his own blush. "Not always," he admits.

"I thought you didn't like them. Letting him use any magic on you at all is still weird."

"...he's different." Cullen mumbles, shoving some stew soaked bread into his mouth. 

It was true. Dorian was different but Cullen was exactly sure why. He was different before they kissed, and that had only confirmed the fact. He didn't know what they were to each other but he knew for a fact that they cared for each other greatly. More than friends he was willing to bet. Dorian flirted but he didn't kiss just anyone. And he especially didn't hand pick food for them. That was something others did for him. At least back in Tevinter.

"Have you crossed swords yet?"

Cullen groans and looks at her with a halfhearted glare. "Don't you have someone to prank?"

Sera cackles again and nimbly jumps to her feet. "Guess I could do something to your office again. But I won't tell you what. Takes the fun out."

As she practically skips out of the Herald's Rest, Cullen scoops up the rest of his stew and then washes it down with some ale. Sera was…a lot. He questioned her intentions when she first joined the Inquisition but eventually found that she was relatively harmless. As were her pranks. It did drive him crazy when he discovered she had been the reason his desk wobbled a few weeks ago. He was ready to tear out his hair and Dorian found the entire thing amusing.

Looking back on it now, it was what the Inquisition needed. If they were all too serious all of the time, some of them could die without enjoying what they had left of life. That's all Sera wanted to prove. The Inquisitor wholeheartedly agreed and helped her on occasion.

"If she makes something wobble again, I'm going to put my sword–" Cullen starts to grouse until Dorian chuckles and reaches over to pat his hand. "You laugh now, but I'm sure she'll do something to your clothes eventually." Dorian grimaced and Cullen smirks. "Are you satisfied that I've eaten now? I would like to get back to work."

Dorian sighed dramatically but nodded as they both stood and headed back up the stairs and towards Cullen's tower. The moment the commander opened the door though, he was surprised to see that Vivienne stood waiting by his desk. 

"Ah. There you are dear. I've finished the elixir I promised you. I hope it works as intended." She says as she holds out a flask for Dorian. When he takes it, she frowns the slightest bit. "If it doesn't, I'm truly sorry. This is the only thing I believe can help you to my knowledge. But all you have to do is drink it. If it is going to work, it can within the hour or by tomorrow night."

Dorian nods gratefully and wastes no time in uncorking the flask and draining its contents as Vivienne tilts her head in acknowledgement to Cullen.

"Commander."

"Vivienne."

"Good night gentlemen." She says as she leaves the tower and when the door closes, Cullen turns to regard Dorian.

"Anything different?"

Dorian opens his mouth in an attempt to say something but nothing comes out and he shrugs. He didn't seem too worried that any results weren't instantaneous, but Cullen could only imagine that he was still frustrated. He was frustrated as well. The way Dorian spoke to him kept him on his toes, and also didn't insinuate that the commander was stupid. On the contrary, Cullen was surprisingly well-read and intelligent that Dorian had been pleasantly surprised to find out after their first initial meeting. It was what led to their frequent chess games. Their conversations could vary from embarrassing flirting on Dorian's part to questions about Ferelden history or something the mage had just read and wanted Cullen's opinion.

A break from military subjects that Cullen didn't realize he needed until then. He made it a point to schedule regular chess games with the mage, and that led to their current…relationship.

How is your shoulder? Dorian asks after grabbing Cullen's hand.

"Hmm? Oh…it's fine. Like it never happened." Cullen replies honestly, nodding when Dorian motions toward it in a silent request to check it. He had to remove his tunic so the mage could properly assess it, and he eventually heard a pleased hum from him. "Did it leave a scar?"

"No." Came a whispered reply. So quiet that Cullen wasn't even sure he heard it, but it had him turning on his heel so quickly, it made his head spin. He was met with Dorian's wide eyes.

"Did you…?"

Dorian touched his throat with the very tips of his fingers in just as much surprise and Cullen could tell that the man was afraid to test the possibility that the elixir worked in fear that they had both imagined it. The mage's throat bobbed as he swallowed, and then again as he met Cullen's eyes again.

"Cullen."

A faint whisper that felt like a scream in his ears, but in the best way. His name never sounded so sweet and he couldn't help but throw his arms around the mage and pull him to his chest with a surprised laugh. A happy one. It was then he realized how much the situation had weighed on him. Cullen felt responsible for Dorian's torture. Like if he had gotten to him sooner, none of it would have happened. A part of him knew it wasn't his fault in any way, and Dorian would agree with that part, but because he cared for the mage so much…

"Never again." Cullen nearly growls. "As long as I live, I will never let you get hurt like that again."

"The sentiment is appreciated but unnecessary," Dorian whispers slowly. The muscles in his throat were still getting used to working again. "I already told you amatus , you came and that's more than what most would have done."

"The Inquisitor would have."

"As a friend," Dorian nods. "But you…you didn't come out of duty."

Cullen clears his throat and his face heats up at the obvious insinuation in Dorian's words. Just because he knew there was a chance because Dorian returned his kiss all those weeks ago, it wasn't confirmation. There was…hope? In Dorian's eyes. Cullen truly hoped his months of reading the mage better than others wasn't failing him now.

"Tell me." Dorian requests softly.

Tell him? Cullen was awful with words and Dorian knew that. It was why he preferred to speak with actions. He could be hot-headed with words, a loose cannon, but with actions, they came from his heart. Surely Dorian knew that? Of course he did, but hearing it was still a different matter. Maybe he was just as insecure as Cullen was and wanted the confirmation too. The hope that why Cullen came for him was what he was assuming. The commander even admitted to himself that he wouldn't have done it for another. With an exception or two, but those retrievals would have been out of duty . Because it was his job.

Dorian was not on the list of duty. He was on Leliana's and the Inquisitor's. A member of the Inquisition worth the resources to find and rescue.

But Cullen did it of his own accord. Without a second thought or worry about his duties. Dorian was more important at the time. His heart screamed in terror when the Inquisitor's party came back and told them the news. All he could think about was that Dorian was unaccounted for and unsafe, and it spurred him into action. He was blind to everything else.

"I love you."

If everything he did and felt wasn't love, then he didn't know what love was. But the look of pure relief and joy that crossed Dorian's face quelled any more niggling thoughts. Any doubts that Dorian didn't actually feel the same.

"At the risk of sounding nauseatingly maudlin and saccharine, when you came…I was so relieved that my pain was the last thing on my mind." Dorian admits and tightens his arms around Cullen. "Thank you."

Cullen said nothing. Only tightening his own hold on the mage and inhaling the scent of roses and cloves. He noticed before that Dorian liked to switch between roses and cinnamon but he was sure that the mage would say something along the lines of how boring it would be to smell of one thing all of the time. As long as he was alive, Cullen might not have cared if Dorian smelled like nug shit…the mage on the other hand would want a bath no matter his condition.

"...tell me." Cullen says, mimicking Dorian's earlier request.

"I already have." The mage whispers in response, pulling back to cup Cullen's face and kiss him.

For once, Cullen's doors didn't fly open to interrupt him and allow a soldier in to demand his attention. He was granted the time to allow his hands and lips to explore the mage in his arms, which he did under the assumption that another time like this might not come as soon as he wanted. At least until he was quite literally shocked and he had to jolt away from the kiss purely on instinct.

"Ah…I'm sorry." Dorian mumbles. "Regaining my ability to speak has me in a mess of emotions. I hope I didn't hurt you."

"No. I was just startled." Cullen says. "Maybe it's best if you rest anyway. The potion may have worked but your throat isn't used to so much– Dorian ." 

The commander sighs when the mage's mustache quirks up in humor, making it clear where Dorian's imagination had gone.

"I'll have you know I'm quite put off that you've seen me completely in the nude but you haven't shown me the same courtesy."

"If you complain, you may never." Cullen chuckles and finally moves away to continue with the paperwork on his desk. It got an overdramatic, somewhat offended gasp from Dorian.

"You, Commander , are not a nice man." Dorian coughs after his small outburst and Cullen frowns.

"Please rest. The elixir will be meaningless if you over do it."

"Yes, yes. Alright." Dorian acquiesces and walks over to lounge on the chaise with his previously discarded book. "I suppose we have to look out for each other don't we?"

Cullen hums in agreement. Even he could admit that he forgot about his own needs while focusing on Dorian's health and vice versa. Although the mage would argue that Cullen was the worst of them. Dorian at least answered to his stomach's insisting grumbles. Which was why he was found poking at the lion when it was past time for him to eat. The first time it happened and the soldiers had seen it, they thought Cullen would turn at any second and bite Dorian's head off.

It never happened and they quickly got used to the fact that Dorian was an exception to many things. They actually went to the mage when he wasn't around to notice when Cullen was having one of his days. He appreciated his soldiers attentiveness, but was also embarrassed that he didn't take care of himself to set an example. Others had told him that the soldiers only appreciated the work he did and wanted to make sure he took care of himself while he looked out for them.

"Will you sit with me?" Dorian requested quietly a few minutes later, and Cullen looked behind him at the chaise. 

It was obvious that was what he meant and not the backbreaking chair, I don't know how in the world you sit in that thing. It's no wonder you've been so grumpy.

"Very well." Cullen says softly, gathering up the reports he needed to read and sitting gingerly by Dorian's legs. "If you need to rest, you may use my bed too."

"You know I would."

"No wine right now Dorian. Let the potion do its work." Cullen says without looking up from the report in the top of his stack. He knew by instinct now when the mage was eyeing a bottle of wine. Specifically the one on his desk.

Dorian huffed, but didn't argue and turned his attention back to his book.

Chapter Text

It was surprisingly easy to keep Dorian away from any kind of alcohol for the next few days so the potion could properly do its job. The mage would respond with some long-suffering sigh but find himself some water or tea whenever Cullen insisted. After the third day, Vivienne had confirmed that what little Dorian had recovered of his voice was all he was going to get.

Dorian would forever speak softly, but he was glad for it. Claiming it was better than nothing, but Cullen knew it was unlikely the mage would be able to do what he wanted in Tevinter. He would easily be spoken over and any attempts on his life-

Cullen curls his hand into a fist as the thought crosses his mind. Mage's knew how to make one another weak. Dorian was capable of physical combat but a trained assassin was nothing to sneeze at. He had been mulling the idea of asking the mage to stay after all was said and done for days now, and considering Dorian's small recovery, the idea only nagged at him more.

"Are you alright Commander?" Josephine asks from his left and he sighs, uncurling his fist and moving one of the markers on the map.

"I can send a small group to fix the bridge. If all goes well, it should be finished in a couple of weeks." Cullen says as he straightens and looks at the Inquisitor. "There have been reports of a dragon in the area though so anything could happen."

Trevelyan nods. "Get it done, but not at the expense of your men. Tell them to pull back if a dragon does show up and only continue their work when it leaves."

Cullen tilts his head in acknowledgement and leaves the war room once the meeting is finished, making his way out of the castle and down to the training ring. Some of the new recruits were standing around the outside of it, jeering and laughing, and a quick glance revealed that a couple of the men were participating in some fisticuffs.

It wasn't a bad idea. Weapons could potentially be dropped or flung out of reach, so being able to throw a punch to stun the enemy and recover their sword could mean life or death. So Cullen let it happen. It was also good for morale to let the soldiers safely release any pent up restlessness or frustration, but a few more glances told him that in a proper training session, he would need to make a few corrections.

Cullen approaches one of the men on the outside of the ring and holds out a missive. "Find these men and give them the order to leave for the Exalted Plains in the morning."

"Yes, Commander!" The man runs off with the written orders and Cullen takes his place to watch the display. The two were doing well with finding open spots or weaknesses and exploiting them, and their mistakes even got them to correct their stance or footing so that it wouldn't happen again. Cullen found he didn't have much to complain about.

"I think you would have been a better Knight-Commander than Meredith." Hawke says as he joins Cullen and observes the brawl.

Cullen winces. "Not at the time. I would have treated the mages unfairly."

"Not from what I remember," Hawke says carefully. "Even you started to question her in the end."

"Watching you made me think about a lot of things," Cullen admits quietly. "You're not a mage but you were sympathetic to their plight."

"Magic and swords are both tools. You shouldn't fear them, just how people wield them. Meredith was proof of that."

Cullen said nothing in response, but had to agree with Hawke's reasoning. At least to an extent. He came to his own conclusions about mages over the past few months and was glad for it. Otherwise, the relationship he had with Dorian may well have never existed. Whether it was romantic or not.

Without even knowing of Cullen's past, Dorian somehow still knew to ask before using magic on or around him until the commander got to a point that he was comfortable with it. The shock Dorian gave him just a few days ago would have raised the hairs on the back of his neck if it had happened when they first met, but he was adjusted to his magic. Comfortable with it even. And it didn't even hurt.

Said mage was currently descending the stairs from the castle and looked to be heading his way, but Cullen knew better. He had finally relented and allowed Dorian to drink alcohol again and since the sun was close to setting, the mage was heading for the tavern to wind down. How much he drank entirely depended on his mood…or if he got roped into the Chargers' circle of never ending ale.

But something behind Dorian caught Cullen's eye and he reacted before he fully processed what he was seeing. It was the glow of lyrium, but there was only one thing that looked like that…and it was heading straight for Dorian. He blindly grabs a nearby sword and runs toward the mage, but instead of stopping in front of him, he slid in behind him and held up the sword with both of his hands and braced himself.

A heavy force collided against the sword and Cullen grit his teeth when it sent vibrations through his body, but he held fast. Even when a headache flared from the aftershock.

"Fenris! Stand down!" He finally manages to bark out just before the elf can raise his great sword again.

"I never expected you of all people to protect a mage ," Fenris growls. "A Tevinter one at that."

"Dorian is a part of the Inquisition." Cullen exhales heavily when Fenris lowers his sword and he shakes out the remaining tremor from the elf's attack. "I don't remember you attacking mages on sight."

"Magisters are different," Fenris grunts.

"Altus," Dorian corrects with a mumble and Cullen sends him a warning glance as Hawke joins them.

"Magister, Altus…it's all the same." Fenris says and then turns to Hawke with a look of irritation. "You left me behind."

"I just wanted to keep you safe." Hawke says softly.

"I heard about Adamant, Garrett . That could have been you !"

Hawke sighs. "Varric. I should have known he would say something to you."

Cullen takes that moment to pull Dorian away from the squabbling couple and past the training ring where the soldiers were picking up with their spars again now that the display was over. Hawke was sure to calm the elf down so there wasn't another attempt on Dorian's life, but until then, Cullen would take him to where he was originally going. He felt like he needed a drink too.

"You're bleeding." Dorian says softly, planting his feet and forcing Cullen to stop so he could grab his left hand and pull off the glove. 

In Cullen's haste, he didn't have time to properly hold the sword to block Fenris's attack, so the sword bit through his glove and then essentially, the palm of his hand. Cullen was surprised that the cut wasn't deeper than it was, even with a blunted sword. 

"It's only a scratch," Cullen says as Dorian heals it. "My head hurts worse if I'm honest."

"A headache?" Dorian asks as he reaches up to place his hand on the back of the commander's neck.

"Fenris is stronger than he looks. My teeth are still on edge," Cullen admits, sighing when Dorian's magic begins to soothe his headache. "Thank you."

Dorian hums. "It's the least I can do. My own personal knight in shining armor to keep me from being cut down. The ladies must be jealous."

Cullen snorts. "Let them be."

"A drink, amatus ? You look as if you could use it." Dorian suggests, leading Cullen the rest of the way to the tavern.

"After that, yes." Cullen admits as they walk inside and find an empty table, flagging Cabot for their usual.

"I'm curious…why didn't you use the sword you insist on having glued to your hip?" Dorian asks.

"As I said, Fenris is stronger than he looks. I didn't want to risk my blade. The swords we use for training are blunt but would still be able to absorb an attack like that." Cullen explains. "Those are easy to replace if they break. But if my own blade were broken, I would have to have it fixed and I'd rather only use it against our real enemies."

Dorian raises an eyebrow. "You truly thought of all of that in just a couple of moments? Being Commander suits you. Cassandra chose well…and I'm glad for her choice for more than one reason."

At Dorian's wink, Cullen huffs but returns it with a soft smile just as their food and drink are brought over. They eat their dinner without any interruptions, much to Cullen's surprise, and when they finish, Dorian follows him back to his tower where he lounges on the chaise with a book he had snagged from Cullen's bookcase earlier that week. Dorian also brought the wine bottle that the barmaid left for him, and clearly intended on draining every drop from it now that Cullen had lifted his alcohol restriction.

At least he wasn't drinking with the Chargers.

"You have a chair , amatus . Use it. I promise it doesn't bite." Dorian insists. "It hurts my back just looking at you slouching over your desk–actually, nevermind. I have a rather nice view–"

Cullen promptly sat down which made Dorian chuckle. The commander was sure the flirt was only halfhearted and that Dorian truly wanted him to sit down while he worked, and it worked like they both knew it would. Cullen knew the differences between the mage's flirting like the back of his hand now. This was just a way to get Cullen to listen and stop being so obstinate.

Dorian's words of course. Not his.

"Don't you have some research to do?" Cullen asks.

"Nothing that can't wait until tomorrow." Dorian says as he turns a page. "Resting helps me to make sure I don't miss anything important."

Another jab at Cullen's tendency to overwork himself. Dorian knew which buttons to push that would make him see reason. And he was right, but Cullen tried not to tell him that. Last time he did, Dorian preened.

It was irritating because Cullen should have known better.

"So you rest in here?"

"Being in your presence is a balm to my frayed nerves–" Dorian starts dramatically until Cullen looks over his shoulder to give him a flat look. "What? It's true." Then he sighs softly and admits, "I feel as if I can let my guard down when I'm with you. What happened earlier…it only proves that."

Cullen softens and turns his attention back to his work with a smile. He promised Dorian safety and he was glad to see that he was taking his words seriously. At least logically. Dorian knew Cullen couldn't protect him from everything, but he knew he would damn well try . He still insisted on traveling with the Inquisitor when he took Dorian, even with part of his voice recovered.

"Dorian, what are you doing?" Cullen grunts when the mage makes himself comfortable in his lap, forcing him to read the reports with one hand. The mage's arms wrap around his shoulders as Dorian straddles his legs, and when his forehead comes to a rest on his shoulder, Cullen stops reading. "Are you alright?"

"I want to stay." Dorian mumbles.

"If you wish, but I don't think sitting like this will be very comfortable soon." Cullen says.

The mage sighs softly but doesn't move. "No, amatus . I mean with you ." When Cullen says nothing in his shock, Dorian continues. "It's selfish of me, but after everything that has happened, I don't want to be anywhere else. Not even Tevinter. Going there as I am now is a death wish anyhow. I selfishly want to stay with you because you freely give me so much… love ."

Cullen slowly put his reports down and opened his mouth to say something, but he wasn't sure what . He was still in shock he supposed. He had just thought of asking Dorian to stay, but he fully expected it to lead to an argument. Not for Dorian to come to him and admit he wanted to stay.

"All my life, I've had slaves at my beck and call, but it was nothing compared to what you've done for me. They did it out of obligation, but you? You do it because you actually care . I selfishly want to stay by your side because you've made me the happiest I've ever been in my entire life just because you love me. I'd rather live in a dirty hovel with someone I love, and who loves me in return, than to go back to a manor and be alone."

Cullen finally huffs and says, "Just because you call me barbaric doesn't mean we'll be living poorly after this."

"I pour my heart out to you and that ' s what you latch onto?" Dorian snorts but doesn't move.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about this anyway. The house might not be made of marble but you should still be able to buy yourself silk." Cullen says.

"I can stay then?"

It was strange to hear Dorian sound so small and unsure, but Cullen still smiled when he said, "my love does not die with this war."

Feeling Dorian completely relax against him was soothing. Cullen was glad he could provide a safe place for the mage, especially now that he insisted on clinging. Dorian didn't seem inclined to move, so Cullen let him be as he turned his attention back to his reports. The silence was comfortable as he flicked through each page, but it was short lived of course.

Hawke and Fenris walked in, and very openly stared. Cullen couldn't really blame them. The Cullen they had known wouldn't have been caught dead with a Tevinter mage clinging to him like a teddy bear.

"Here I thought Varric's book was the wildest tale he ever spun." Hawke finally says. "A templar that hates mages, falls in love with one from a distant land–"

"I'm going to wring his neck." Cullen seethes as he drops his reports again. It was no use trying to get them done anymore tonight.

"Did you two really get it on in the library and use candle wax?" Hawke wonders with a grin and Cullen groans, feeling his neck start to flush.

And Dorian shook with laughter. " No ."

"But that does sound fun, amatus . Now I have a reason to read that garbage he calls novels." Dorian finally moves away to smile at him.

"Don't encourage him."

"Oh my Knight-Captain , you are such a bore." Dorian sighs dramatically and Hawke laughs when Cullen's eyebrow twitches. Normally the title irked him, but Dorian used it in jest. 

"I came to apologize," Fenris finally says and Dorian waves him off.

"Thank you but it's unnecessary. I imagine I would react the same way if I were in your shoes." Dorian looks him over and frowns at the lines of lyrium trailing from chin to toe. "No one should be subjected to that torture…or cast aside after."

"Thank you." Fenris replies quietly. "I'm glad there is at least one good mage from the Imperium. If Cullen trusts you, then so do I."

"Sorry for the interruption." Hawke says. "We'll leave you two to be alone again."

Cullen ignores the rogue's insinuation and asks, "are you still heading to Weisshaupt?"

"Not at the moment. Varric has some connections so he was able to send a letter. We'll be sticking around for the foreseeable future."

"Ah! Then maybe you can help train the recruits or read some of his ridiculous reports." Dorian suggests. "Maker knows the man doesn't know how to relax, but he won't have any excuses if you help!"

Dorian hops off of Cullen's lap and sifts through the abandoned reports on the commander's desk, skimming for ones he deemed unimportant to Cullen's eyes. Cullen let him. If he were completely honest, it would help his sanity if he didn't have to read a useless report about a chipped sword being sent for repairs. He liked being on top of things, but that was a little extensive.

But Cullen knew better.

"We don't do paperwork," Hawke says. " But I wouldn't mind helping with the recruits on occasion."

"Then I suggest finding Josephine and seeing if she can assign you a room to stay in. I believe there are still a couple empty ones." Cullen says, ignoring Dorian's pout when his attempt of pawning off the commander's paperwork is summarily rejected.

"I'll be at the tavern." Fenris mumbles.

Dorian brightens, drops the stack of papers in his hands, and rounds the desk to link his arm with Fenris's, much to the elf's confusion and chagrin. "It's all swill. I adore it to little pieces."

"Dorian, we just came from the tavern." Cullen says as the mage leads the elf to the door.

"Well I've found someone to drink with and complain about the South who will undoubtedly agree with me." Dorian replies. "Get some sleep Commander! Warm the bed for me!"

Then the two were gone and Cullen and Hawke were left staring at the door. The night could go one of two ways. Dorian would either offend Fenris enough to resort to violence…or they would end up being the best of friends. Cullen prayed for the latter because he would rather not have a repeat of a couple hours ago.

"So you do have sex." Hawke says and Cullen sighs heavily.

"No. Not that it's any of your business."

"If he's sticking around now, once you do…you'll never get rid of him. Hard for me to forget what I saw in the Templar barracks that one time–"

" Good night , Hawke." Cullen grouses, feeling the flush travel up to his ears. Hawke only laughed again.

"Maybe you should take a page or two out of Varric's book. A blindfold–" Cullen grabs one of his knives and throws it at the wall closest to the rogue. "Alright, alright. I can take a hint." Hawke turns to open the door that leads to the library. "He's a good one Cullen. I can tell he makes you happy. You deserve it after everything."

With that, Hawke left through the door and left the commander by himself. 

It was as good a time as any to listen to Dorian's suggestion and get some sleep, so he took off his armor and climbed the ladder up to the loft. He changed into something comfortable enough to sleep in and slid into bed. It took him a while to fall asleep, but he finally did, only waking once when he felt movement on his bed.

Dorian had joined him, drunk but unharmed, and curled up against him.

Chapter Text

After that night, Cullen found Dorian in his bed at night more often than not. Which ended up working out because with all the information they had gathered out in the field and at home in Skyhold, Cullen was swamped with work. He was in his office or the war room even more than usual that Hawke and Fenris took over training the recruits. Much to Dorian's annoyance. He had just gotten Cullen to make a habit of leaving his tower for a meal or to take a walk and it was all for naught. Dorian kept trying though.

Whenever he wasn't knee deep in his own research, Dorian would drag Cullen out of his tower for anything he could find an excuse for. A proper meal, chess, a short walk, a spar…

But then one night, Dorian kept him from sleeping. Keeping Cullen awake with a round of sex that the mage insisted he needed and Cullen didn't dare turn him away. Except Cullen didn't think of it as just sex . He wanted to show Dorian just how serious he was about their relationship and treated him with the tenderness he said the man deserved. The moans and pleased gasps he pulled from Dorian were worth every moment he left a scratch on his back.

The mage trembled in pleasure as Cullen thrusted into him while simultaneously holding him like he was the greatest treasure known to man. When they both lay in bed after reaching their peaks, Dorian curled against Cullen even after admitting it wasn't something he did. Cullen simply smiled and pulled him close before falling asleep.

It was that same night that Cullen had one of his nightmares, back in Kinloch with those monstrosities . Being deprived of food, water, and safety…being tortured. The pain felt so real that he begged for reprieve but his words fell on deaf ears.

It was so intense that it had him jolting awake with a gasp and then sitting up on the edge of the bed to shake off the remains of the nightmare. Cullen wipes the sweat from his brow with a relieved shudder, and then startles when a pair of arms gently wrap around his shoulders.

"Are you alright?" Dorian whispers.

Cullen relaxes. "Just a nightmare."

The mage hums softly in response. "I've noticed they happen more often when you're stressed or overworked. Perhaps you need to take a day to recuperate." Cullen opens his mouth to argue, only for Dorian to cover it with one of his hands. "Amatus, there are plenty of people that can take on your responsibilities for a day so you can rest. I dare say they might even encourage it. Skyhold did not fall apart when you came to save me."

Cullen couldn't argue with that because Dorian was right. He knew he tended to work himself into the ground, and his fellow advisors and Cassandra were starting to give him the side eye. Even starting with some subtle attempts to tell him to rest. He wouldn't be surprised if they talked to Dorian about it as well, but that always seemed to be a personal mission of his without their interference.

"Normally I would revisit our earlier tryst to help distract you," Dorian continues after dropping his hand away from Cullen's mouth. Then he pulls away from the commander's back, causing Cullen to shiver when Dorian's warm body no longer pressed up against his back. "But something tells me that's not what you need right now."

"I don't think I could go back to sleep," Cullen admits with a mumble.

"No. Not at the moment." Dorian agrees before kneading his fingers into Cullen's shoulders, making him groan. "Is this enough evidence to convince you to take a day for yourself?"

Cullen could only answer with another groan when Dorian pressed against another sore spot. With a surprising amount of skill and a little bit of magic, the mage was unraveling him bit by bit and then molding him back into what Dorian deemed more suitable and he gave into the ministrations. For a while it was painful, but as Cullen's muscles finally conceded to Dorian's fingers, the massage turned pleasant and he even started to doze off. His nightmare wasn't lying in wait the second he closed his eyes like it usually did, so Cullen had to wonder if Dorian's earlier observation was true.

That stress was the trigger for his nightmares.

"I'm alright now." Cullen murmurs softly and reaches up to grab one of Dorian's hands to kiss it. "Thank you."

"Do you think you can go back to sleep?"

Cullen nods and lays back down, and he sighs softly as his muscles settle and Dorian curls back up into his side. Once the blankets were rearranged to their satisfaction and the mage complained about the hole in the roof again , Cullen wrapped an arm around Dorian and closed his eyes. Having the mage in his bed had become the norm and listening to him breathe turned into something…soothing. The few nights that Dorian did not join him in bed made Cullen toss and turn for a few hours because it was too quiet. The bed felt empty without Dorian.

"Just one day," Cullen finally says softly.

"Hmm…it'll be nice to sleep in and wake up with you still in bed. You leave me to freeze my unmentionables off."

Cullen cracks an eye open to look at Dorian and huff in amusement. "We can't have that."

After a couple more shared chuckles, Cullen was able to fall back asleep and didn't even realize it was dreamless until he was rather rudely awakened by a small zap. He grunts in annoyance and tightens his grip around the body in his arms, only for said body to sigh loudly .

"I adore you Commander, really. But listening to a great buffoon like you snore directly into my ear is not my idea of a good morning." Dorian grouses.

If Cullen had been more aware and not half asleep as his brain processes Dorian's words, he might have apologized and moved away. But instead he found himself tightening his hold on the mage and shushing him to go back to sleep.

"Did you just shush me?" The mage sputters. "You really are a marvel commander. Snoring in my ear while poking my arse with your–" there's some shuffling on Dorian's part that Cullen assumes is the mage giving up and trying to get comfortable, but instead he hears, " Vishante kaffas , is that what you've been splitting me open with?! I see Hawke wasn't exaggerating."

Cullen sighs and finally opens his eyes. "It was your request that I take a day off, but of course it's the one time you don't sleep in."

"You snore in my ear and I give you a compliment and you complain. " Dorian sighs dramatically before gently zapping Cullen again. "You great bear of a man! It's a wonder you haven't crushed me! To think that–"

Cullen finally had enough and he reached up to grab Dorian's chin and move his head toward his before kissing him. It successfully silenced the mage who returned the kiss lazily until Cullen finally released him. While Dorian pouted, Cullen finally sat up and got out of bed to gather his clothes and get dressed for the day.

"I thought you were taking the day off."

"I'm hungry, Dorian. Maybe you would like to join me for breakfast."

"In a moment."

When Dorian rolls onto the side of the bed that Cullen had vacated, the commander simply sighs fondly before descending the ladder to don his armor. Dorian would comment that it was unnecessary to wear it all the time, especially when Cullen was trying to take a day to relax, but he never wanted to be caught unprepared. They lived in a castle fortress in the middle of a war, where at any time the enemy could come crashing through their front gate. Not on a simple farm where Cullen would have been comfortable with a simple shirt and trousers to work in for the day.

The thought only reminded Cullen of the short time he and Dorian spent on Mia and Gaius's farm. To his surprise, the life actually fit Dorian rather well. When he was well enough to sit outside, he would read a book while nursing a cup of tea and maybe pick at a plate of fruit while Cullen and Gaius tended the farm. When he had recovered even more, he actually started to help Mia around the house. Cullen knew he would never catch Dorian doing any of the hard work in the fields, but he was a decent homemaker.

Which Dorian would murder him for if he told anyone.

It would likely become Dorian's new reality though. After they win the war–and they would –they wouldn't stay in Skyhold. The mage wanted to go where Cullen went, and the commander was thinking about opening a sanctuary for templars that wanted to stop lyrium once they saw it was possible. Cullen was living proof of it and the way he stopped wasn't exactly ideal. He already decided that he would wean templars off the stuff instead of having them quit cold turkey like he had. But if a templar had been taking it for too long and taking them off of lyrium would harm them rather than help, they would at least have a place to spend their last days in peace and comfort.

There was a concern in the back of Cullen's mind about Dorian's safety, but when it came down to it, he would just have to make sure the templars knew Dorian was his mage . That Dorian was there to help them. And somehow Cullen knew the mage would be more than happy to help him with his dream.

Another reason to take Dorian away from Skyhold was because it would be the first place anyone from Tevinter would look for him. Of course, Cullen couldn't stop Dorian from reaching out to anyone there he still considered a friend…or Maker forbid, his parents…but if Dorian wanted to hide, even just for a little while, Cullen could give him that.

"You're thinking," Dorian says from behind him, interrupting Cullen's thoughts. "Is it because of your dream?"

Cullen chuckles softly as he finishes strapping his breastplate on. "Not that dream."

"Oh? A good one then? Was it about me?" Dorian teases with a waggle of his eyebrows as he steps forward to smooth out the fur of Cullen's mantle after he puts it on.

"You're a part of it." Cullen says with a soft smile. "I…was just thinking about what to do after we defeat Corypheus. I want to create a sanctuary for templars. To do what I've done."

Dorian pats his fur one final time. "I've already told you amatus , I will go where you go. I want to. I think this dream of yours is…inspiring. It can be a new start for not only templars, but for you. I don't know all the details, but I know you've been through too much for someone your age, and you deserve some peace and quiet."

"You do too." Cullen says softly, grabbing one of Dorian's hands and kissing his knuckles. "I said you were part of my dream and I meant it. Peace and quiet means nothing to me without you."

"And what if I wish to laze about with a bottle of wine and a good book while you help your fellow templars and tend the land with all the backbreaking work?" The mage challenges.

Cullen didn't have to look in a mirror to know his eyes were twinkling with amusement as he kissed Dorian's knuckles again. "Then that is what you'll do. I said I would take care of you."

The awe in Dorian's eyes solidified Cullen's want and promise to protect the mage. He knew that Dorian wouldn't take advantage of his kindness and would help with the templars and even the housework, but he for sure wouldn't touch stables with a ten foot pole. He might help harvest a few things. 

"The things you say," Dorian murmurs softly. "I thought you were terrible with words."

"I have my moments."

"Well your moments could certainly persuade me to become a glorified housewife." Then Dorian's admission finally reached his own ears and Cullen delighted in it and the intense blush that adorned the mage's cheeks. "I meant–"

"House wife , hmm?" Cullen rumbles with a chuckle and outright laughs when Dorian yanks his hand away to throw his arms in the air and turn to stalk away to one of the doors.

" Fasta vass ! Ferelden country boys and their hidden talent to make a grown man swoon like an Orlesian noble woman! It's no wonder they sunk their claws into you at the Winter Palace! Housewife ! Next thing you know, he'll find a way to put babies in me!"

Cullen was really trying very hard not to laugh at Dorian's outburst, but he couldn't help a smirk. "Dorian?" When the man turns to him with a look of wariness, he chuckles again. "I love you."

Dorian blushed so intensely again as he made some incoherent noise before pointing at him. "You! Eat breakfast by yourself, you…you…!"

For once in Dorian's life, he was rendered speechless and when he was unable to come up with a clever insult, he opened the door leading toward the library and firmly closed it behind him after he left. Cullen knew Dorian wasn't actually angry, but he did revel in the fact that he was able to fluster the mage for once. Not that he had any intention to, but he would take a win where he could get it. He was also still preening about the idea of Dorian being a housewife for some asinine reason. 

Perhaps the man doth protest too much.

Cullen couldn't help the slight spring in his step as he followed the path Dorian took. Instead of having a meal in the tavern, he would be taking breakfast in the great hall now that the tables had been properly set up. When he joined some of the inner circle at the table they frequented, Varric raised an eyebrow as the commander sat down. Cullen ignored the looks he was getting in favor of serving himself a large helping of mixed fruit and bacon and eggs, but of course the questions had to come sooner or later. Whatever they were.

"Care to explain why Sparkler stomped by me earlier, raving about housewives?" Varric finally queries. Cullen only smirked and shoveled some fruit into his mouth.

"I was more interested in the obvious limp," Iron Bull laughs and Hawke turns his eyes back to the commander.

"What exactly happened last night?"

"I've already told you, none of your business." Cullen finally says. "He'll be by for breakfast soon enough."

Cullen even made a point of making a plate for Dorian, giving him extra of his favorite things. Such as more strawberries. And cream on the side. Varric obviously wanted to question him more, but must have decided to wait things out and see if Dorian would answer his unasked questions. Which was just fine with Cullen.

He had just finished everything on his plate and was giving himself a second helping of fruit when Dorian finally arrived and pointed at the commander. His mouth opened and closed uselessly for a few moments before he said, "you're dull and trite and I abhor your lack of proper etiquette!"

Cullen smiles at him lazily. "Feel better love? I saved some strawberries for you." He motions to the plate beside his and watches as Dorian visibly deflates and takes the empty spot next to him.

While he munched on his strawberries and cream with another pout, almost everyone at the table started. Dorian wasn't always so compliant and always got the last word in when the situation called for it, but they seemed to be shocked that Cullen had subdued him with a smile.

"Now I really want to know." Varric mumbles. 

"Everything aside," the Inquisitor starts. "There are a few things left to do at the Emprise. Cullen and Dorian, I would like you two to come with me."

"Mountains. Cold. 'Let's bring Dorian!'"! The mage sighs.

Cullen wasn't entirely pleased with the idea because excessive amounts of red lyrium made him nauseous, and gave Dorian headaches but he nodded. He was still determined to go where Dorian went. Even if it made him ill.

"As you wish, Inquisitor. When do we leave?"

"In a couple of days. It will give you time to rest for the journey. It won't be easy on any of us."

"At least I only have to share the tent with Quizzy." Sera says with a grin. "We all know Dorian will snuggle up with Cully-Wully."

"You're just jealous that I have someone warm to snuggle up to in the first place." Dorian retorts.

"Make sure you bring an extra pillow for your arse. Or just shove snow down your pants once the commander has his way with you." The elf cackles and Cullen sighs and covers his face.

"My arse is fantastic thank you very much." Dorian huffs.

"I'm surprised you still have one," Hawke mumbles and Sera chokes on her water to the point it comes out of her nose. 

"I suppose it's too much to ask to keep the vulgarity away from the table." Vivienne says. 

"So what's with your ramblings about housewives earlier Sparkler?" Varric tries and his eyes light up when Dorian flushes pink again. "So there is a story behind it!"

"It's none of your concern," Dorian replies a little too quickly.

Cullen knew the mage had just sealed his doom. He wouldn't be surprised if Varric made up something about it to put in his book. Cullen was a little curious to what the dwarf had written about them, but at the same time he was afraid to read it. Cassandra admitted that Varric wrote smutty literature and that it could get lewd rather quickly.

But on the other hand, Cullen knew Dorian was open about most things and if the book gave them ideas…

No. That was a terrible idea for many reasons. One of them being that if Varric found out they used his book for reference, they would never hear the end of it.

"What's this I hear about you using Dorian and I as a reference for your book?" Cullen asks.

Varric grins widely. "I'll get a copy for you if you're really interested."

"I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"

Chapter Text

Cullen was on edge. After the battle in the Arbor Wilds, he had to ride ahead back to Skyhold because they had to strike while the iron was hot. Corypheus had disappeared after he failed to reach the Well of Sorrows before the Inquisitor and Morrigan…and that was an entirely different matter that had him nervous. The witch had been the one to drink from the well, but that wasn't what bothered Cullen. It was the fact that Corypheus and his followers had come out and fled, but the Inquisitor and his followers had not . As if that wasn't enough to worry him, Dorian had been one of the chosen few to go with Trevelyan and Cullen thought he lost the mage all over again. Except there was no trace to follow and get him back.

Until he received one of Leliana's ravens. 

Cullen had never felt so relieved when the letter informed him that the Inquisitor and his party arrived safely in Skyhold by way of an eluvian. He was asked to return to Skyhold posthaste, and he rode ahead as soon as he gave the order for their army to return. As much as he wanted to check after Dorian, he had to go straight to the war room to plan their next move.

"We must find Corypheus before he finds us," Cullen says. "We still have to find out where the archdemon is coming from."

"Perhaps it's hiding in the Deep Roads?" Josephine suggests. "I can write to Orzammar–"

Before she could finish her sentence, green light flooded into the room through the windows and the Anchor on the Inquisitor's hand lit up. To Cullen's dismay, they found the Breach being reopened and coming from the direction of the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Corypheus knew their army was still in the Arbor Wilds and he had the same idea they had.

"Our army is still in the Arbor Wilds." Cullen frowns. "They're not due to return for another day at least. I have no one to send with you to help. I can–"

"No." Trevelyan interrupts. "With no army, Skyhold is vulnerable. I need you here in case Corypheus sends his own army to attack while we confront him."

Cullen could only bite his tongue and nod in response. The Inquisitor's concern was valid and there were too many people in Skyhold that had no business being in battle. Cullen and Leliana remaining to defend the castle was better than no one at all.

"Then you must depart at once." Leliana says when Cullen remains silent.

Watching the Inquisitor leave the war room with the witch compelled Cullen to follow them if only to attempt to find his own mage. The final battle loomed over their heads and because the future was always uncertain, especially at a time like this, he had to see Dorian. He came across many of the inner circle members rushing by him in their haste to join Trevelyan at the front gate as Cullen made his way to the library, but not a single one had been Dorian.

In fact, it seemed he had missed the mage entirely when his search came up empty. Dorian's personal bedroom was vacant, his alcove in the library was empty…and when Cullen looked out a window that faced the gates…the Inquisitor and his companions were nowhere to be seen.

They had already left.

So Cullen did the only thing he could think of. He went to the gardens and into the tiny chapel that was barely big enough to be a bedroom and approached the statue of Andraste. Cullen kneels onto one knee, clasps his hands together, and bows his head to pray for the Inquisitor's victory and the party's safe return.

Though all before me is shadow, yet shall the Maker be my guide.

For his safe return. Cullen had never looked forward to a future as badly as he did now. Looked forward to settling down with someone he loved. For that someone to be a mage, a people he used to think were not people like the rest of the population that weren't born with magic, he had certainly come a long way.

I shall not be left to wander the drifting roads of the Beyond.

To think just a couple years ago Cullen would have possibly made Dorian Tranquil just for being from Tevinter sickened him. The old part of him would have done it just because mages from Tevinter were rumored to practice blood magic…the very thing that began his fear of mages. But Dorian had shown that stereotype didn't apply to all mages. He spat at blood magic. And without knowing why Cullen was nervous around mages, he would always make sure he was okay with whatever magic Dorian planned to use.

The man blustered and flirted. He wore a mask and made himself a social pariah…but Dorian cared. Cared about him . And Cullen didn't want to lose that. 

For there is no darkness in the Maker's light and nothing that He had wrought shall be lost.

"Bring him back to me." Cullen whispers. "Protect him when I cannot."

Then Cullen was distracted from his prayer by a loud cracking sound. He stood from his spot in front of the statue and left the chapel to cross the gardens back into the castle. He walked the short length to the open doors and even from his position he could see the temple risen in the sky. Even with the air a sickly green from the Breach and the obvious red glow of tainted lyrium, Cullen could see the purple flashes of storm magic. It was a small comfort to know Dorian was still alive, but at any moment that could change.

Cullen decided not to think so negatively though. They would all return safely. And Dorian would give him a fond, if exasperated, look before saying something like, "really Commander. You won't be rid of me that easily."

The top of the stairs was one of the best positions he could be in. It gave him a view of the front gates as well as the temple and all he could do was watch and wait. Leliana and even Josephine joined him, but he didn't take much notice of them as he saw a couple of dragons having their own battle in the air. Eventually they careened back towards the temple and that had been the last they saw of the dragons. Flashes of magic were the only indication there was still fighting.

But then, there was a bright green light. The Breach closed once more and then there was nothing.

"The Inquisitor was successful." Josephine breathes out.

"But at what cost?" Leliana says when large rocks start to fall and the temple descends back to the ground.

Cullen continued to watch and wait in silence. The residents of Skyhold that had seen the Breach closed all gathered by the gates in trepidation for the Inquisitor's return. It seemed like ages before Trevelyan finally walked through the front gates and his companions followed behind him. The people cheered for his victory, and from the looks of it, everyone was more or less unharmed. At least nothing serious. 

Cullen finally breathed a sigh of relief though when he finally caught sight of Dorian. The mage was holding his side and grimaced with every few steps he took, but he was alive. The moment Trevelyan approached them and Leliana led him away to have a private word with him, Cullen rushed down to Dorian as quickly as he could without making a fool of himself. He couldn't bring himself to consider Dorian's injuries when he wrapped his arms around him and held him tight.

"Thank the Maker." Cullen breathes out.

"Really, Commander. You won't be rid of me that easily." Dorian says, making Cullen laugh a little. " Amatus , you are crushing me and it isn't very pleasant at the moment."

Cullen finally releases Dorian and looks him over with some concern. There was some blood staining the area Dorian was gingerly clutching, but it didn't seem to be life threatening. Knowing the mage, he did the healing he could before they even arrived back to Skyhold.

"We'll find you an elfroot potion." Cullen says.

"I'm afraid it won't be much help. It's a broken rib that has to heal on its own." Dorian winces again. "A boulder had the absolute indecency to hit a smaller rock and fling it my way. I might as well have been hit by the boulder."

Cullen smiles softly and turns back around, leading Dorian up the stairs by the small of his back, taking each step slowly.

"I'm sure Josephine is already preparing a feast for your victory. Perhaps you would like to rest until then?" Cullen suggests.

"I would like a bath ." Dorian huffs and grunts in pain when one step jostles him a little too hard.

"Wrap your arm around my neck. This will hurt for a moment."

Cullen couldn't stand making Dorian cause himself unnecessary pain by walking all the way to his room. So the second the mage did as he was asked and opened his mouth to undoubtedly ask why , Cullen scooped him up into his arms and carried him the rest of the way inside. Dorian sputtered with embarrassment for a few moments but Cullen ignored him in favor of focusing on getting Dorian to his room as painlessly as possible. Cullen would have taken him to his office and the room above, but the ladder was an obstacle he didn't want to bother with. 

"Commander–" Dorian starts.

"Why you insist on calling me that…"

"Because I like the way it sounds." Dorian huffs. "It is your well earned title and just knowing that I'm the one sharing your bed makes it that much better."

Cullen chuckles. "I believe we'll be sharing your bed until you've healed. Bath first."

Cullen shoulders his way into Dorian's room when he arrives at the door and gently sets the mage on his bed. When he turns to find someone to bring water for the bath, Dorian stops him by grabbing his wrist. Just like all those months ago when they had been staying at Mia's. Except this time, Dorian wasn't looking for reassurance that Cullen would stay. He was getting his attention so that he could pull the commander down by the fur on his mantle and kiss him. Something Cullen reciprocated with fervor…and intense passion.

He made sure to pour every ounce of love he had for Dorian into the kiss and he got a soft moan for his efforts. He took the chance to explore the mage's mouth with his tongue and groaned softly himself at the fading hint of lyrium remaining. It didn't even bother him anymore. He didn't feel inclined to stop and go looking for his philter…it was just Dorian . This mage was his new addiction and Cullen was content with it.

Dorian eventually pulled away breathlessly and almost immediately narrowed his eyes at the commander. "Don't get smug. There will be no living with you."

Cullen barks out a laugh. "Let me find some water for your bath, Lord Pavus ." He bows dramatically and Dorian exhales through his nose.

"Unnecessary." The mage says before using his magic to form some ice in the tub and then melting it. "I…do need help undressing and getting in." He admits quietly.

Cullen smiles softly and moves closer to help Dorian undress, apologizing when lifting his shirt off results in another pained hiss, and then holds his arm out for Dorian to use as he steps into the steaming water. While Dorian slowly stepped in, Cullen couldn't help but look at the bruise on his side that took up part of his rib cage and down to his hip. Just looking at it made Cullen's side hurt.

"Your magic didn't heal that?" He asks.

Dorian slowly sinks into the water with a relieved sigh. "I only had enough mana to stop some major bleeding. I'm too exhausted to heal more."

"Then you need the elfroot potion. It will help with the bruise and the pain." Cullen pushes. "

"There's one in my trunk." Dorian mumbles, motioning in the direction it sat. "I'll take it if you sit with me."

"Not even Corypheus could pull me away."

Dorian cracks an eye open and glares half-heartedly at him. "That is in poor taste Commander."

The feast was had and Cullen dove into his duties the following day, if only to finish what he personally needed to do before passing the job to Rylen. There were some things that he had left to do while Dorian healed from his injuries, and when he was close to finishing, he sent a letter to his sister and told the Inquisitor about his and Dorian's plans to leave. He promised that if the Inquisitor was ever in need of their help that they would come without question, and Trevelyan seemed to be happy for them. 

He was understandably sad to see them go, but he and the remaining inner circle that hadn't left yet had sent them off with a smile. Josephine had promised to have their things sent immediately, so all the two had to worry about were the necessities to get them by.

Mia had found Cullen some land a couple of miles outside the village she and Gaius lived in, and it already had a large manor waiting to be lived in. Gaius had been kind enough to make the repairs the mansion had needed, so all Dorian really had to complain about was the dust.

Which he and Cullen promptly took care of once they were settled.

It only took a few weeks for them to furnish their house and get the manor ready to receive guests and templars, and Mia and Gaius helped. Mia and Dorian worked inside while Cullen and Gaius prepared the land for trees and crops and livestock. It was tiring work but Cullen hadn't felt so alive in years . Even his and Dorian's horses seemed happy to be semi-retired after the war.

Templars slowly trickled in once word of Cullen's sanctuary reached them, and while most of them looked at Dorian warily, they quickly warmed up to him. Just like Cullen had predicted. Once they realized Cullen was in a very happy relationship with him and that Dorian was there to help, they were able to relax and focus on getting off lyrium. Or living the rest of their days out in peace. There were at least two templars that were too far gone for Cullen and Dorian to help without causing harm.

Now, Cullen was in the process of trying to sneak a taste of whatever Dorian was cooking, only to have his hand smacked away.

"You have absolutely no patience Commander!" 

Cullen chuckles and kisses his cheek. "I'm not a commander anymore."

Dorian grabs Cullen's chin before he can fully move away. "How about I call you Knight-Captain instead, hmm?" He kisses Cullen before he can retort and waves him away. "Go play with your friends."

"It's a resting period, love," Cullen snorts before admitting, "I thought you might need help."

"Thank you amatus , but I'm fine. You do plenty as it is. You don't see me tilling the soil."

Cullen chuckles. "Fair enough. Chess tonight?"

"I wouldn't miss it. Now go take a bath. You smell of sweat." Dorian demands, wrinkling his nose.

"Oh? Just sweat? Not nug dung?"

"I was being kind."

Cullen laughs and makes his way upstairs to take a bath as requested and by the time he was done, dinner was ready and some of the templars had already gathered around the table to eat. There were house servants to help Dorian around the house as well as with the templars when he or Cullen were too busy, and they were in the process of setting the large amounts of food on the table so the templars could serve themselves. Dorian always took it upon himself to serve the ones too far gone though.

They were so far gone because of the damage the lyrium did that sometimes they didn't realize things as fast as the younger ones did. They were slow and tired, and while the younger templars tried to be considerate of them, the food went fast. So Dorian would make sure the older ones had food on their plates before he sat down to eat.

Today, one of the older men was lucid enough to gently pat Dorian's hand gratefully as he said, "Cullen found a good one. Your help is appreciated…I wanted you to know that."

"Just like mages, not all templars are bad," Dorian responds softly and looks up at Cullen only to blush.

Cullen probably had the goofy half smile that Dorian both teased him for and adored.

Dinner went by loudly but smoothly, and when everyone retired to bed, Dorian and Cullen retired to the sitting room to play their promised game of chess while the servants cleaned up. Dorian grabbed a bottle of wine and two goblets for them to drink over their game and they spent the first game in comfortable silence or idle chit chat about the work that needed to be done before winter came and how the templars were progressing.

Then there was silence again with only the crackling of the fire to fill the void.

"Dorian…are you happy?" Cullen asks after a few minutes and the mage looks across the board at him.

"Where is this coming from?"

"You left Tevinter behind. Your homeland, your family, your money–"

"Cullen," Dorian interrupts and gives him that fond smile that always soothed Cullen. "We both know I cannot speak the way I need to for me to be heard in Tevinter, and even if I could…I still would have come with you. You are my family. You have so much love in your pinky finger than my parents had in their entire bodies and I would be a fool to pass that up. The money doesn't matter to me. I'm more than comfortable here and I admit that I enjoy being your househusband."

"Let's make it real," Cullen finds himself spluttering and Dorian stares at him. Before the mage can question him, Cullen digs around his pants, no doubt looking like a fool, and soon finds and procures the ring that had been burning a hole in his pocket for weeks now. "I…think I knew when you left to fight Corypheus before I could find you. All I wanted was for you to come back to me. So we could have this future together and now that we're here…"

Cullen looks at Dorian and falters when he finds the mage staring at the ring. For once, he couldn't read Dorian's face. It was completely neutral and he had no idea what he was thinking. Was this a bad idea? Too soon? Or not at all? Dorian was cautious when it came to relationships, but he always said how happy he was with Cullen…

He decided to throw all caution to the wind. "It would make me the happiest and luckiest man alive if you married me."

A single tear rolled down Dorian's cheek and Cullen's heart dropped as the mage flicked his eyes up to meet his. "Cullen. Stanton. Rutherford. You foolish, barbaric, wonderful man…"

If Cullen's heart plummeted anymore it would fall out of his arse and land on the ground with a pitiful splat. But then Dorian nearly knocked over the table in his haste to climb onto Cullen's lap, grab his face, and kiss him until they were breathless.

When they were, he finally pulled away with the most dazzling smile Cullen had ever seen from him. 

"The happiest and luckiest man would be me ."

Cullen returned the smile with one just as bright and his heart soared.