Chapter Text
It was a rather unassuming Tuesday, nothing of consequence ever happened on Tuesday. In fact, one could even say that Tuesdays were lucky simply because nothing ever happened. Which is exactly why everything went to shit on a Tuesday, because say what you will of Severus Snape but he wasn’t known for good luck.
They were supposed to be in Potions, but Slughorn was sick. Severus did not believe that for a second, more likely the idiot had drunk himself into a coma the night prior. Trivia night at the Three Broomsticks was a habit of his and one that caused him to forget his responsibilities. Strange trivia night often occurred on the same nights the brothel in Knockturn Alley offered its services all night long. But that wasn’t Severus's concern, he didn’t care about the nightly ambitions of his professors. His concern was that his professor's nightly escapes left him incapacitated and his students in the care of Professor Kettleburn who taught Care of Magical Creatures. If he had known he’d spend half his year being a guest in his lectures he would have signed up for the class officially, an easy O is an easy O even if Severus hated animals. A broad statement that may be rather discriminatory to a group that well out-populated the human race but a true one nonetheless. Once, he had been attacked by a crowd of rabid crows on one of his many walks outside of his home, it had been dark and he didn’t see them until well after they had arisen from the gates of hell. For weeks after, he kept finding black feathers around his home and along the path he takes to Lily’s as if they had been stalking him. That was one of many encounters that put him off animals of all natures. No, it was decided that Severus Snape decidedly did not like animals and was not excited about today.
Everyone else, however, seemed to think today was great. I mean what fortune it was to have managed to be a guest in a lesson where they were scheduled to learn about unicorns. The moment it had been announced, excited whispers erupted in the classroom. Everyone knew about unicorns of course but they were native to only a few places and typically it was forbidden to encroach on their land so very few had actually seen one. Being a boy, Severus didn’t find it as exciting as the girls. It was rather sexist of unicorns to only like those with a uterus or at the very least the desire for one. Ultimately, he decided that it worked in his favor that Severus did not meet that particular requirement which is why he was considerably confused when one approached him.
A unicorn approaching in of itself would not be cause for alarm. They are docile creatures by nature, they do not attack even when threatened. Besides, he was in the presence of a well-trained Professor who was well instructed in the arts of calming idiots (creature and human alike) the fuck down. What presented a problem was the fact that the approaching unicorn was a child and their mother was rather protective. It seems that unicorns are a bit laxer on their violence when their young are involved.
“Mr. Snape, do not move a muscle.”
“Oh really? I was planning to do a creative rendition of the Ballet. Any other helpful suggestion, Professor?” He wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Everyone was staring, Lily was staring. Her friends were whispering in her ear as if to say See, Lily. We told you. He’s evil, so evil even the purest creatures hate him.
“I realize that this may be frightening but I need you to stay calm. She’ll realize soon that you are not a threat but any sudden movements could spook her.” Really, Severus didn’t want to laugh, he wanted to cry. He wanted this to be over with. He wanted to forget all about this stupid fucking unicorn who was resting its little tiny head on his knee, staring at him with this look. Like it knew just how fucked up he was as if it could see all the parts of him that he tried so hard to hide from. But of all the things Severus wanted to happen, he wanted its mother to remove her horn from the square of his back. But maybe he deserved it? Maybe he was a threat to the baby, maybe his mere presence was corrupting force. Maybe she was just protecting her young, and maybe she would be right to end his pathetic existence. He realized suddenly that he was shaking. Well shit, come on now, make up your mind do you want to die or not? That, he decided, was a rather dangerous line of thinking.
Suddenly, the pressure on his back increased, not breaking the skin but enough that it hurt. Later they would say it had been the shock and the pain that caused it but he felt as if the wind itself has pulled him as he fell to his knees. The process dislodged the baby off of him and the scrape of the mother’s horn across his back burned, his robe tearing before its point rested on the back of his head. Distantly, he could hear his professor shouting and students scrambling away but nothing mattered to him beyond that stupid baby unicorn staring right at him, eye to eye, raising its own horn to just an inch away from his head. Just an inch and he could be impaled on both ends. Wonderful. The baby shifted forward and Severus had a moment to wonder if he just manifested his death into existence and wouldn’t that be so just him before the world exploded.
Wind whipping by, stars and visions, that distant feeling of never being whole shifted and he realized suddenly and violently that he wasn’t or hasn’t been until now. He was convulsing, body racked with pain and chaotic energy. That thing, that missing piece was returning, coming home and the process was bringing him to death. Is this why? Is this why everything seemed so difficult, why something as simple as breathing hurt so much? Would running on wild magic and spare soul energy be the reason why? It hurt though, it hurt so much. More than being without it. Was being whole worth it? Screaming, he heard screaming. Was this frightening the students? Was Lily frightened? Did she even care? His throat burned and oh it was him wasn’t it? It hurt.
His soul is colliding with his body and it is fighting and it is straining against the cage. It spent its whole life running free, without a human chain to bind it. It wanted to be whole and it wanted its freedom. It would take it time for it to discover which one mattered more. The pain was unbearable and he was begging anyone and everyone for it to stop. Like a man possessed making promises he couldn’t keep, threats that wouldn’t work. “Make it stop, make it stop, please make it stop.”
Soon, a soft voice whispered, soon it will be over. Be still, child. We will take care of you. Light and beauty, the soft feathery touch of fur, the cold and wet touch of a snout against his chest pulling him from the overwhelming feeling of the battle. The pain dulled but he could feel it in the back of his head as if a wall had been put up to keep it from him. Minutes, seconds, hours he couldn’t tell how long it lasted but the pain stopped. The soul settled, filling his body, exploring and fixing and mending. It felt like what he imagined being weightless would be. The pressure on his head disappeared but he barely registered it, all he could see was a swirling vortex of magic and stars and beauty. His soul had traveled and learned, and the universe's knowledge was right there, all he needed to do was touch it. Time slipped between his fingers, destiny painted his brow, and magic poured from every pore. This was what it must be to be God. The voice was back, powerful and peaceful in its presence, Rest little one, you have done well. Severus fainted.