Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Are you sure the weevil’s down here?” Ianto muttered just loud enough so his earpiece would pick it up.

“Positive. Stay on the lookout. And keep your guard up.” Jack replied. They’d done this one million times before and yet Jack was still giving him the same old warnings. It was useless at this point as they were both literally immortal, fixed points in time, unlikely to die permanently any time soon, if at all. Still, he supposed it was cute. Ianto rolled his eyes.

“Yes sir,” he said, rounding the corner. He heard Jack chuckle on the other end before the comms went quiet. Weevil spray held aloft, Ianto made his way into the larger tunnel, careful to stick close to the walls to avoid stepping in the grimy water. There was the unmistakable growl of a weevil from the right and Ianto tapped his earpiece.

“Found it” he whispered.

“Got it. I'll finish checking my area then I'll make my way over and help you haul it back up to the car. Then we have the rest of the night to do whatever-“

“Yes, yes alright, get to it” he said, cutting Jack off mid sentence. As eager as he was to get to their… other scheduled activities, there was a weevil on the loose in the sewer that needed catching first. And bringing back to the warehouse they’d bought as their “hub” for the time being. It wasn’t perfect but it had a coffee machine and a mainframe so it was good enough. Jack’s voice in his ear brought back to the situation.

“So bossy. I might just have to-” Jack began but Ianto cut him off again.

“Jack. Shut it.” 

He heard Jack laugh before the line went quiet once more. The weevil needed catching distraction free. Ianto took a breath before turning the direction the growl came from. At the end of the tunnel stood 2 weevils, hunched over something Ianto couldn’t see. Probably a piece of trash, he figured. Two weevils wasn’t what he had been expecting but it certainly wasn’t something he hadn’t handled before.

Stepping up to the first to provoke it worked perfectly and he quickly sprayed it with the new and improved subduing spray, effectively putting it to sleep. One down, one to go. The second charged at him and he swung at it with his torch, knocking it away. Then he heard it. Another deadly snarl from behind. Ianto turned to see three more weevils advancing. He took a breath. 

fine. five weevils. no big deal. he thought, clutching the spray tighter in his fist. He turned back to the weevil he’d knocked back and sprayed it square in the face before turning his attention back to the other three. He clicked his earpiece.

“Jack, there are three of them and I don't know how much spray I have left in this canister. I’ve already taken down two but…” he trailed off, backing away from the creatures slightly. In his ear, Jack made a sympathetic noise.

“I’ll have to track you down first. Be there as quick as I can. Just do what you can and stay safe, got it?” he said and this time Ianto didn’t roll his eyes. Jack had sounded genuinely worried. But it was fine. He'd dealt with all manors of horror, including family bonding with Rhiannon. Surely three measly weevils were nothing. And anyways if worse came to worst, he would die and come back again. Sure, it wasn’t fun and it definitely wasn’t fun for Jack but they would get through it. Besides, he predicted a lot more deaths in his future so better be prepared, right?

Ianto shook his head, focusing back on the three challenges in front of him. When the weevils got in arm's reach, he took a swing at the first with his torch, knocking it back a few paces, dizzy and disoriented. The next he caught with the spray but he could already tell there wasn’t much left. No matter, Jack would be there soon. When the third snuck up on his right, Ianto dropped the useless can and pulled his gun on the weevil, shooting it straight through the head. He cringed as blood splattered all over his shirt and nice waistcoat.

“What was that? You alright Ianto?” Jack asked through the comms and he realized he had left them on.

“Yep but I’m all out of the sedative so you would be handy right about now,”

“Don’t worry, I'm on my way. These damn tunnels are holding me up.” Jack complained and Ianto smiled a bit before pulling his gun on the other weevil.

The gun clicked. Ianto glanced down at his gun before his gaze fell back on the weevil who was advancing at a more than alarming speed. He cocked the gun again and fired straight at the weevil. The gun clicked again.

“No, no, no, shit ,” he muttered, opening up the barrel. He had no bullets left. The weevil was in arms reach now and Ianto did the only thing he could think of. He bashed the weevil over the head with the bottom of his gun and ran for it. Sure, it would make it harder for Jack to get to him but really there were only so many times one could punch a weevil before it caught on and learned to fight back. So he bolted.

As Ianto skidded around the corner, he stopped in his tracks and his heart sank. There was another. bloody. weevil. And behind it, a wall. there was a bloody fucking wall and no other way to turn. Ianto had run himself into a trap. Trying not to panic, he tapped on his earpiece.

“Jack,” he panted, trying to keep the quiver out of his voice, “I really need you to be here like right now,”

“I'll be there soon. Your location is farther away, I must have taken a wrong turn. Or did you move?” Jack said, frustration bleeding into his tone. Ianto sniffed. From the cold night air or from his mounting panic, he didn’t know.

“I think I’m going to die here so just pick the pieces back up and shove my organs back into my body for when I come back, will you?” Ianto joked in a last ditch attempt at trying to be fine as both weevils stalked closer.

“Ianto don’t joke around,” Jack said, trying for sternness but really he just sounded panicked. Ianto took a breath.

“S’fine, Jack. I'll be fine.” he said, taking several steps away from the advancing creatures.

He looked around again to try and find a way out but there was nothing. Not a ladder, not a grate, not a door. Nothing. He backed away as much as possible, pressing himself flat against the grimy wall, buying Jack time to find him. Buying himself time to live. But as the weevils came within arms reach, he knew it was hopeless. He squeezed his eyes shut. And he screamed.

And all the while he heard Jack’s panicked voice blaring in his ear because god damn it he’d forgotten to turn the fucking comms off and god, getting torn to shreds by weevils was worse than anything he’d ever felt. There were no kind words left in him to reassure Jack, to tell him it would all be okay, if not now then eventually but god, he was in agony like fucking hellfire and he could not stop screaming. Until he could. Not because the cold hands of death had released him from his anguish but because the weevils had taken his fucking throat. Ripped it right out of his neck with their sharp teeth, tearing at the rest of him with their claws. Everything burned all over and was the wetness on his face from tears or from blood? His vision was fading fast and he was cold all over, despite the hot blood seeping from what felt like every single part of his body. The last thing he heard were hurried footsteps, distant and echoing in the back of his mind before it all faded to nothing.

Chapter Text

then came the rush.

the cold in his lungs.

pulling him, forcing him, dragging him back to consciousness.

Ianto was choking. No, not choking but he wasn’t breathing either. There was already too much and too little noise and everything was a blur. wet. His hands were wet and his body was cold. so cold. air. He needed air. But the more Ianto  tried to breathe the more it burned. And there was that voice. That oh so familiar voice calling out to him. But he couldn’t hear it, not properly at least. In one last ditch attempt to get some air, he clutched at his throat, clawing at what was supposed to be a neck, a throat, some fucking oxygen. But there was nothing. A whole lot of fucking nothing. Hands clutched him, yanking his arms back to his sides. No, no, he tried to protest. He needed air, he needed to breathe, why did these hands- these oh so familiar hands- want to take that from him? And oh dear god the pain was unimaginable. Ianto felt his stomach flip and burn like it may as well have been on fire. Was he on fire? His head swam and his vision went blank. Which could only mean-

the cold rush came again and with it, the world around him.

Ianto gasped and then fell into a violent coughing fit, eyes watering at the burning in his throat. There was that voice again. And air. He was finally getting some air. It hurt so terribly, the dull thud and throb of pain through what felt like every single nerve in his body. But god, it felt good to just breathe. And those hands. Up and down in circles on his back, holding onto him for dear life. Jack. That's who it was. That voice, those hands. A grounding force through his panic. After a minute his breathing became less of a hyperventilating pant and he was able to discern what was being said to him.

“Shh, Ianto, just breathe, okay? Just breathe, hon. I've got you. Everything is going to be fine. Everything is going to be okay. The weevils are gone. I won't let you go, I promise, just breathe.” Jack said, sounding just as panicked and utterly sick as Ianto felt. And in one swift motion he leaned over and threw up onto the concrete floor.

“Oh my god” he whispered hoarsely at what he saw, not sure his voice could take any more than that.

Raw, pink flesh surrounded by a pool of what was unmistakably blood lay on the ground not 2 feet away. He was going to be sick again. And what was worse was that it wasn’t even normal sick. That would have been alright, bordering on comforting. No, this was just blood. Pure blood and bile and just looking at it made Ianto panic, blood rushing loud in his veins, head still spinning and swimming. He squeezed his eyes shut and felt something wet roll down his cheeks. Whether it was blood, sweat or tears he didn’t want to know. A gentle hand- Jack's hand- buried Ianto's face in his coat, rocking them both lightly.

“Shh you’re okay, you’re safe,” he said and “I’m so so sorry, I'm so sorry,” he repeated and after only god knew how long Ianto managed to unbury himself from Jack's embrace whose hands found a new place on the sides of Ianto’s face.

“What… happened?” he rasped, barely above a whisper and Jack shook his head. He could remember the weevils, he could remember coming back not once but twice and he could remember the agony that he’d been in but the finer details were lost.

“Let’s just go home,” Jack said, carefully hoisting Ianto to his feet, slinging his arm over his shoulder, and practically carrying all Ianto’s weight with a hand around his waist. It wasn’t that he couldn’t walk. Physically, he was back to full health. But mentally? Well… let’s just say there are things you just can’t recover from that quickly.

After depositing Ianto into the front seat of the SUV, Jack placed a kiss on his temple and told him he’d be right back. Ianto nodded, not meeting his eyes. He couldn’t look at Jack and he couldn’t look at himself either. Ianto squeezed his eyes shut. He knew that if he didn’t, he’d be met with the sight of an abundance of his own blood, too much to be able to live through losing and that would send him spiraling. Instead he focused on the sound of Jack's muffled voice from outside the car. Then he heard footsteps and the door shutting with a loud slam that made him flinch.

“Ianto?” Jack muttered, “You okay?”

He nodded, still wary of his newly grown vocal chords. And besides, he didn’t quite trust his own voice just yet. He heard Jack sigh and with a low rumble, the car started. He didn’t know where Jack was taking them but he didn’t really care. If it was their makeshift hub, fine, he’d entertain Gwen’s worrying and questions and whatever John had to say about the situation. At least he’d get a change of clothes. If it was home, he hoped he could get some sleep. If it was somewhere else… he just hoped it wasn’t the hospital. Too many awkward questions.

At last the SUV stopped and Ianto opened his eyes, pointedly looking out of the front window. They were outside the entrance to the complex of their flat. A wave of relief crashed down on him. He really just wanted to sleep.

Getting inside was a blur and all too quickly Ianto found himself being deposited in one of the tall chairs by the counter. Jack began carefully undoing the buttons of his drenched waistcoat but Ianto swatted his hands away, reaching to do it himself. He wasn’t a child, he could undress himself. He made a valiant attempt but gave in to the help after his hands slipped on the same button for the fourth time as they were shaking so badly. He didn’t feel any different anymore, he thought idly. Just tired. He wanted to go to sleep.

Ianto hadn’t noticed that Jack had finished and left until he came back with a bowl of warm soap water and an old towel. He began wiping the blood off of Ianto’s face and hands silently, his own face configured into a calm mask. After what felt like hours but could have only been minutes, Jack threw the towel into the bowl and put it back in the bathroom. Ianto recognized the t-shirt sitting on the counter as his own and began undoing the buttons of his shirt. He sighed to himself. Rest in peace purple button down.

He’d finished changing by the time Jack came back, dressed in a new undershirt and trousers. Ianto took a deep breath before immediately sensing something was wrong. His stomach flipped and he darted to the bathroom, throwing up its contents into the toilet. It was mostly blood. His throat burned as he retched and coughed and he vaguely registered Jack kneeling down beside him, placing a hand on his back.

He didn’t know how long the vomiting continued, only that at some point he’d broken out into a cold sweat and that his throat felt burnt and raw. Still, he thought, not worse than getting it torn out completely.

When it finally finished, Ianto took a breath and dragged himself up to the sink, despite Jack's protests. He reached into the cabinet and took a few painkillers with as much water he supposed he could stomach at the moment.

“You okay now?” Jack murmured, worry clear in his voice. Ianto nodded.

“Fine,” he said. Or rather rasped. Either way it didn’t feel great. After a moment’s hesitation, Jack left the bathroom for a minute as Ianto stood in front of the mirror, bracing himself against the white tile sink, wiping the remnants of the blood and bile from his lips. In a strange way, the experience was almost starting to feel surreal, like a horrible nightmare that he couldn’t quite shake. Like he didn’t actually experience it. Just his body. Not his mind. The word derealization floated around in his mind for a moment but disappeared as quickly as it came.

When Jack returned, he was carrying a small glass of something that closely resembled water but Ianto could tell wasn’t by the unnatural sheen. It was something he vaguely recognized but didn’t have the energy to place. He took the cup and downed its contents without having to be told.

He straightened up and Jack put an arm on his back when he wobbled slightly. They made their way to the bedroom and Ianto flopped down on the bed at the first opportunity. Finally, he thought gratefully, sleep. He felt the mattress dip as Jack climbed in beside him. Ianto rolled over to face him and Jack curled around him. He shivered, despite not being cold and buried himself closer into Jack’s embrace.

In only minutes, a dreamless sleep overtook him.

Chapter Text

When Ianto woke, he was alone and Jack's side of the bed was cold. He rolled over and checked the time. His clock flashed 10am. Memories of a water like liquid with a too-shiny-lustre came back to him and he sighed. Jack had given him a god damn sedative. He supposed he shouldn’t be too mad but really, he was alive and physically well. He should be at work.

25 minutes later, Ianto found himself showered, dressed and making himself a cup of coffee. He took a deep breath. You’re fine, he told himself, you’re alive. There was the sound of a key turning in the lock and Ianto turned around in time to see Jack stepping through the door. Jack froze when he saw Ianto and he opened his mouth, presumably to comment on his health.

“I feel better now,” Ianto cut him off before he could, reaching up to touch his throat. It had pretty much healed over, he suspected. It just felt a little dry. Jack blinked at him before nodding.

“The wonders of immortality,” he supplied hesitantly and Ianto shrugged.

“I suppose,” he said, returning to his coffee and Jack sighed, turning to hang up his jacket on the coat rack. He kicked his boots off, leaving them on the mat before making his way into the kitchen and leaning on the counter. He wanted to say something, Ianto could tell, so he shot him a raised eyebrow over his shoulder. After a moment, Jack spoke up.

“Are we going to- I don’t know- talk about this?” he asked, and Ianto fully turned to him. It was one weevil attack. He was better now. Why did Jack care so much?

“What is there to talk about?” he asked and Jack frowned.

“You know what,”

“I died. So what? You do it all the time.” he pointed out and Jack crossed his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, I do it all the time. You don’t.”

“Well I feel fine,” he said simply, taking a sip of his coffee. Jack took a step forward.

“And how do you feel emotionally?” he asked quietly and Ianto shrugged. It wasn’t as if the memories hadn’t plagued him all morning and all the night before and he couldn’t stop thinking about the claws and the teeth and the blood and whenever he closed his eyes for too long all he could think about was the horrible burning. All things considered, he’d felt worse before.

“You’d call me out for lying if I said fine but you know it would be better if I was at work, Jack. I need something to do.” he replied honestly, turning back to the coffee machine to avoid his lover's gaze. After a moment of silence, Ianto felt hands come around his waist from behind. Jack pressed a kiss to his jaw.

“What for?” he asked, surprised. He knew Jack was the touchy sort but it usually wasn’t so… so domestic.

“To make you feel better,” Jack replied and he rolled his eyes. He ignored the blush creeping up his cheeks as he was vaguely reminded of Serenity Plaza.

“You are such a sap,” he accused with a small smile, turning so that he and Jack were facing each other. Jack smirked.

“And you love it,”

“Coffee?” Ianto asked, not wanting to have to admit that, yes, he did secretly love the attention. Jack removed himself from around Ianto and took the cup from his hand. He took a sip and cringed.

“God, you are insane for liking your coffee black, you know that?” he said and Ianto laughed. It wasn't the first time Jack had said that and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. That still didn’t make it less funny each time.

“So that’s the depth of depravity? Black coffee?” he asked between breaths and Jack laughed too.

“Yes,” he nodded, punctuating it by poking him in the chest with a finger. Ianto rolled his eyes and turned away to rinse the cup and put it into the sink. When he turned back around, Jack was at the door, pulling on his boots.

“Coming?” he called and Ianto nodded, slipping on his shoes as Jack opened the door. Their shoulders brushed as they walked to the SUV, Jack filling him in on the morning's events on the way.

Yes, Ianto thought, realizing then that he hadn’t thought about the weevil incident in over 20 minutes. Things will be better.