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The video opens with the 4 boys. James and Peter are sat on 2 chairs with Remus and Sirius sharing a beanbag on the floor in front of them.
“Hello, we are the Marauders” James introduces, with a wave “and…”
“We solemnly swear that we are up to no good!” They all say together.
Sirius takes over “Today we will be answering some questions in a Q&A type video. So shall we get to it?” He looks back at James and Peter.
“Yeah, I’ll start.” Peter picks up the tablet off James’ lap “Question one: How did you get your nicknames?” He reads out.
“Great question to kick this off. Although two of us are about to get a bit embarrassed. Sirius, why don’t you go first?” says the messy haired boy, clapping his friend’s shoulder.
“Sure. Mine comes from my name. Sirius is the brightest star in the constellation called Canis Major, which translates to Greater Dog. And around where I grew up there were legends of a thing called the Grim which is basically a big dog that haunts graveyards and I was totally up for that being my nickname but these lot thought it was a bit too dark so we had to brainstorm. I want to say it was James that mentioned the padded type feet that dogs have and that somehow turned into Padfoot.” Sirius explains with a shrug. He turns back to his brother with a smirk and in what he hoped sounded like an innocent voice sings “Prongsy your turn”
“Why do I have to go next?” James groans, running his hand through his hair.
Peter laughs “‘Cause yours is the most embarrassing and that’s coming from me!”
“Fine!” He exclaims. He sighs, trying to delay answering “When we were about 13, my parents took the four of us to this nature park. About halfway round we saw some deer. There were like 3 does and a stag and I don’t know what I did but whatever it was pissed this stag off so much it decided to charge at me. Antlers first. I’m lucky it was behind a fence because I probably would’ve been skewered. So naturally I run away, fearing for my life and these three are just standing there pissing themselves laughing. By the end of the day I ended up with trauma and a new nickname.”
“It was a good day” Remus replies, smiling at the memory.
“Ok Moons, you’re up” Sirius says, putting his arm behind the boys back.
“Like Padfoot, my nickname comes from my name. I don’t know why but for some reason everything to do with my family links back to wolves in one way or another. My name, my dad’s name, my mum’s maiden name! It’s honestly bizarre! So seeing as my name basically translates to Wolf Wolf…”
“Moon Moon” James interrupts
“…I got saddled with Moony”
“Well it was either that or Werewolf McWerewolf the 2nd.” Sirius adds
James turns to the boy next to him “Ok Pete, your turn”
“It’s embarrassing but I suppose it could happen to anyone. I forgot the word ‘rat’ once… ONCE! And these guys won’t let me forget it”
Remus took over and started telling the story “He called me at like 3 in the morning one summer when we were 14, crying his eyes out, terrified because he saw and I quote: “a thing” crawling across his bedroom floor. Naturally I asked what ‘thing’ meant…”
“To which I responded ‘a thing! You know furry thing with a wormtail!’” Peter says, chiming back in “He asked me if I meant a rat and I said yes”
“Don’t feel bad Pete, James still has the most embarrassing story” Sirius chuckles
James, wanting to change the subject, blurts out “Moving on!” Peter hands him the tablet so he can read the next question. “Question two: Favourite song currently?”
“My favourite song hasn’t changed since I was little. It will always be ‘Piano Man’ by Billy Joel.” Remus immediately answers.
“Fair.” James responds “For me I might have to go with ‘Perfect’ by Ed Sheeran.”
“You sap!” Sirius shouts
“What?”
“Isn’t that the song you and Lily danced to at Prom?”
“Shush” James says, swatting at Sirius.
The boy in question just laughs “Ok, my turn. At the moment it’s probably ‘Crocodile Rock’ by Elton John. Heard it on the radio the other day and it’s been stuck in my head ever since.”
“Erm…” Peter begins “I’ve been on a David Bowie binge lately so maybe something from ‘Hunky Dory’ or ‘Ziggy Stardust’” he shrugs.
“Nice!” Sirius takes the tablet from James “Question three: What’s been your longest relationship?”The long haired boy slips his arm around the waist of the boy next to him and brings him into a side hug “7 years and counting. Right Moons?”
Remus just smiles in response.
“5 years” answers James proudly.
“I don’t do relationships.” Peter admits “I had a brief fling I suppose but after 3 days I realised that I don’t really care for romance.”
Sirius passes the tablet to his boyfriend, who proceeds to read out the next question “Question four: When’s your birthday?”
“November 3rd. I am the eldest in the group!” Sirius announces happily.
“You don’t act like it” snarks Remus
The boy beside him raises his free hand to his heart and clutches his shirt “Betrayal!”
Remus laughs and shakes his head at his boyfriends antics before turning back to the camera and answering “Mine’s March 10th” He looks up to the short boy on the chair behind him, indicating Peter to go next.
“December 29th”
The bespectacled boy then answers “I’m the baby of the group. Not by much though. Since I’m March 27th I’m not that far behind Moony”
The scarred boy passes the tablet behind his head to Peter “Question five: What are 3 things you can’t live without?”
“Good one. Erm… my friends, my family and…” James pauses. His eyebrows furrow in thought “My glasses? I don’t know”
Sirius turns to face him “Your glasses?”
“Well I do need them to see. If I didn’t have them on, what’s to stop me from accidentally walking in front of a bus? So I technically cannot live without them.”
“You win” Sirius say, followed by a bark of laughter “For me it would probably be my jacket, my bike and you lot.”
“I feel bad now” Remus admits
“Why?”
“Cause you three didn’t come to mind”
“Ouch mate” James utters, pretending to be heartbroken by the news.
“The question said THINGS. Not people. So I went for objects” the amber eyed boy argues
“To be honest, so did I” Peter adds, backing up the boy in front of him
“Alright then” Sirius starts “What are your 3 ‘things’ Rem?”
“Jumper, chocolate and a good book”
“That is the most you answer ever” Laughs the boy beside him
“Funnily enough Sirius, I’m the one who said it”
Sirius just sticks his tongue out in retaliation whilst James laughs. He turns to his friend, sat on the chair adjacent to him “What about you Wormtail?”
“Sleep, water, food” comes Peter’s response.
“You sarky git” They all chuckle. James once again has the tablet in hand “Question six: Favourite pick up line?” He finishes reading before looking at his mates.
“I’ve never been in the need for one” Peter chimes in “But back at school I’m pretty sure I heard Gideon use this one: ‘If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple’. A food pun is always a win in my book.”
“Did he succeed?” inquires Sirius
“No”
Shaking his head in disappointment at his old school friend, Sirius mutters “Not surprised.” He then looks right down the lens of the camera “Gideon if you’re watching, step up your game my dude!”
“Why don’t you give him your favourite pick up line? See if it’s more successful” James suggests from behind him.
“Some of my funniest lines are only funny if you went to Hogwarts”
“Oh god! What could you possibly have made a pick up line out of?” Remus exclaims, curious yet also worried about what might come out of his boyfriend’s mouth.
“‘Are you Dumbledore? Because you look like a HEADmaster’” James immediately collapses against the back of his chair, hands on his stomach, laughing his head off. Meanwhile Peter and Remus both groan in despair at what was just said. Unfortunately for them, Sirius wasn’t done “‘Hagrid isn’t the only giant at Hogwarts if you know what I mean…’”
James sits up slightly to address the camera “Insight for people who didn’t go to our school, Hagrid was the PE teacher and he was like 7ft tall! He was massive!”
“He was 6ft 7” Remus corrected
Sirius once again opened his mouth, declaring that he still wasn’t finished “I have a few about the houses. ‘Can I Slytherin your Gryffindor?’, ‘You make my Huffle Puff’, ‘Can I RavenCLAW your clothes off?’ you know, the usual.”
“Jesus” Peter whispers in horror. Or awe, he couldn’t tell.
“Ok mate you are getting way too carried away!” James chuckled “Favourite non Hogwarts related pick up line?”
“Erm…” Sirius looks at the floor in contemplation “‘I like to be on top of important things, would you like to like to be one of them?’”
As soon as the pick up line left the boys lips, Remus burst out laughing.
“I didn’t think it was that funny” Peter muttered to James. Both boys look at each other in agreement and then back at Remus who had tears in his eyes due to laughing so hard.
“Rem?” James cautiously queries
“Sorry” Remus said, wiping the remaining tears from his eyes whilst letting the last of the giggles out “It’s just Sirius saying he’s a top is hilarious!”
Shaking head fondly, James asks “Moony? What’s your favourite?”
The silver eyed boy sat in front of James picks up his bottle of water beside him and unscrews the lid. He raises the bottle and starts to drink. Remus, being the little shit that he is, waits just long enough before saying “‘Call me NASA, cause I’m about to probe Uranus’”. Sirius instantly chokes on his drink, having not expected such a line. Remus leans in closely to Sirius’ ear and purrs just loud enough for all 4 marauders to hear “You play your cards right Pads and that won’t be the only thing you choke on tonight” Causing James to roar with laughter once again.
“Damn Moons” Peter compliments, shock clear as day on his face “That follow up was smooth as hell!”
Poor Sirius is sat there, water bottle hanging loosely from one hand. His face bright red. His lips were moving but whatever he was mumbling was too quiet for the others to hear.
With a smug look on his face, Remus turned to look at James “Jamie, your turn to answer”
Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, James says “I don’t think anything I say will ever top that but erm…” He throws his arms up in a shrug and goes with the first thing that came to mind “‘We must be in a museum because you are a work of art’.”
“Yeah, you’re right mate; nothing will beat Remus’ last line. I forgot how smooth you could actually be” Peter laughs
“It’s a talent” Remus nonchalantly replies
“Sirius? You’ve been quiet for a while…everything ok?” James teases, waving his hand in front of the other boy’s face
“I…Remus...Help…” Was all that could be made out
James just chuckles “Well done Moony, you’ve broken Sirius”
“I’ll happily help break his bed too if he wants”
Somehow Sirius flushes a deeper red. Listening in closely the other 3 marauders try to hear what he was muttering to himself. All they could hear though was “Moony…I…Smooth…Hot…”
“Let’s move on here before this power completely overtakes Remus” James announces, before handing the tablet to said boy since Sirius is currently blue screening.
“Ok, question seven: What are your middle name/middle names?”
“I don’t have one” Peter shares
“Saaaaame”
Remus shakes his head at the bespectacled boy “You little liar!”
At some point Sirius had managed to calm himself down enough to rejoin the conversation and upon hearing James’ lie yells “How dare you disrespect your dad like that!”
James just sighs before admitting “My middle name’s Fleamont”
“It’s not that bad mate…could be worse. Your middle name could be Orion. What my family’s obsession with space is I’ll never know.”
“I lucked out.” Remus states “Even though my middle name is the most boring it’s still normal. It’s John by the way. It was probably to make up for Moon Moon.”
“Moon John Moon” James snorts
“That makes me sound like the main character of a shitty werewolf version of Les Mis”
Peter leans forward in his chair to grab the tablet “Question eight: What colour socks are you currently wearing?”
“Plain black ones, boring I know” Sirius comments
“I have some maroon ones on.” James answers, lifting his leg up to show his socks to the camera “Repping my Hogwarts house even after leaving!”
“Mine are blue with little cheeses on them” replies Peter
They turn to Remus, who’s sitting with his knees bent so he can see his socks clearly “I’ve got B-MO from ‘Adventure Time’ on my left foot and the Cookie Monster on my right. I am team odd socks until the day I die.”
“Do you pair them up like that?” Pete questioned
“Nope. They are just thrown into the drawer so it’s a surprise when I pick them out. Once I ended up with Eeyore and Darth Vader.”
Sirius looks lovingly at his other half “Only you Moons.” He turns and gestures to Pete for the tablet “Question nine: Which teacher did you hate the most at school?” He hesitates slightly before stating “I wouldn’t say I hated him but the most lifeless teacher we had was Professor Binns. Good God that man could talk for England.”
“Definitely.” Agrees James “I think I slept through 70% of his classes. It’s actually a miracle I passed History.”
“I didn’t really like Slughorn that much” Remus hesitantly admits
“Is that because you’re shit at Chemistry?” laughs Peter
“Partly. It was mainly because he brought it up at every possible opportunity! It’s like: I knew I was shite, he knew I was shite, why couldn’t we have left it there?”
“Teachers I hated?” Tapping his finger against his bottom lip, James mentally ran through every teacher who taught him at school “I don’t think I hated any of the teachers either”
“I didn’t hate any of the permanent teachers at Hogwarts but Jesus wept do you remember when Flitwick was ill and that pink toad took over his English lessons for 2 weeks?” Peter groans, burying his face in his hands.
“I’d almost forgotten about Dumbridge”
“Lucky you!” the shorter boy cried, looking up at Sirius “She is my sleep paralysis demon and has been since 5th year!”
“She was fucking horrid! You could tell she hated the lower income students by the subtle glares she used to give us” Remus added
“Major bitch! Finally, question ten: If you were cursed so you could only say 1 word for an entire day, what word would you pick?” read James, turning the tablet off and setting to the side.
“One word as in ‘you say it once and then you can’t speak for the rest of the day’ or one word as in ‘you can speak all day but the only thing you can say is that one word’?” Peter asked.
“We’ll go for the second one”
“Easy. Fuck” came Remus’ immediate response.
“Why?”
“Cause it’s useful in all situations. I stub my toe? Fuck. I can’t find my phone? Fuck. I see a cute person? Fuck.”
“Fair point.” Sirius concedes, laughing slightly “I might go with ‘cool’. It’ll make me look laidback. Slightly mysterious and indifferent y'know.”
“Sausages.” James randomly blurts out. Confusing his 3 friends who all turn to him with various looks of bewilderment “What? It would confuse anyone who asks me a question”
Shaking his head in mild amusement, Peter answers “I’d probably go for ‘Nope’. Gets me out of doing anything for the day.”
“Whelp, there you have it.” James concludes, looking back at camera set up in front of them “Not a particularly long video but we hope you enjoyed it!”
“Please comment, like, subscribe and all that shit below. I’ve been Moony”
“I’m Wormtail”
“Padfoot”
“And I’m Prongs”
“Mischief Managed!” They all call together as the video ends.