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James and Sirius can be seen sat on the former's bed. James looks down the lens and opens the video “Welcome my deers to the StagSquad! It is me Prongs and I’m here with…”
“Padfoot!” Sirius adds after James motions to him.
“Today we figured it would be fun to play ‘Would you rather’ so God knows what we’re going to be admitting to.” the younger boy laughs. He lifts up his phone to read the first question “Ok, would you rather find the love of your life or a million quid?”
Sirius immediately answers “Well I’m pretty sure I’ve already found the love of my life so a mil would be cool”
“Yeah, I’m with you on that. Lils if you’re watching, I now have an imaginary million pounds!” James agrees, causing Sirius to laugh. James looks back at his phone to read “Would you rather pick the age you die or pick the way you die?”
“Pick the way. That way I can make sure I go out with a bang and be remembered for years to come”
“Hold an active grenade? That way you get the bang and since you’ll probably get a Darwin Award you’d be remembered.”
The long haired boy shakes his head “Not nearly cool enough”
“I’d like to pick the age. That way I know I’ll be able to live my life to the fullest. Maybe die at like 88/89. I’ve lived a long life and I wouldn’t have to be one of those poor sods sat in an old folk’s home.” The bespectacled boy explains
“Fair enough”
“Would you rather burp confetti or fart glitter”
“Burp confetti!” Came the eldest’s response with a bark of laughter “Imagine my mother’s face if we were at a posh fancy dinner and I burped and a bunch of small, colourful pieces of paper flew everywhere!”
James snorts at the mental image his best friend just gave him “You could wait until she says something important and then burp to give it more pizzazz”
“I’d never have to buy party poppers again! ‘Happy Birthday’ burps”
“I’d have to go the same just because the amount of shit you could do”
Upon scrolling through his phone for the next question, James finds one that makes him crack up. Intrigued Sirius tries to look over James’ arm to see what he read. “What is it?”
“This one doesn’t work for you”
“Huh?”
Looking Sirius dead in the eye he reveals to him and the viewers what made him laugh “It says would you rather never touch a computer again or never touch a person of the opposite sex again”
The long haired boy just smirks. “Yeah…what a difficult question” He sarcastically drawls to the camera
“Here’s a proper one: would you rather have to watch your parents have sex every day for the rest of your life or join in once and stop it?” James reads, physically cringing at the thought.
“Rather be dead” Is the instant reply from the other boy. Shaking his head James informs him that that wasn’t an option. “Well I’m pretty sure if you trace the Black family back far enough there’s some incest in there and I don’t feel the need to add to it”
“So you’d watch?”
“It says rest of my life right?”
“Yep” the messy haired boy replies after rereading the question
“Simple! I use my ‘pick my death’ option from earlier and would like to get struck by a meteor as soon as this situation starts to occur.”
“I’ll allow it”
“What about you?”
“I guess I’m just gonna have to suffer.” James sighs “As much as I love my parents, I don’t love them THAT much. Would you rather be the only one drunk at a family event or the only one sober?”
Sirius cackles “Only one sober! The blackmail material would be off the charts! Some of my family are so fucking stoic that watching them get pissed out their heads would be hilarious!”
James tilts his head upwards in thought “I couldn’t imagine Narcissa drunk” he finally says, shaking his head in amusement
“It would be glorious”
“I might go with me being drunk. Family gatherings normally consist of me, my parents and then Uncle Charlus and Aunt Dorea. Not much of a party.”
“Unless we go full on family event because Dorea was a Black…” Sirius shrugs
“In which case my answer would change and I would be helping you record your blackmail videos”
Sirius places one hand on his heart and the other on James’ shoulder. “You’re a true friend”
“I’m just imagining Regulus doing karaoke” James adds, laughing once again at the mental image. Sirius starts to picture it too and within 10 seconds they’re both crying with laughter. “Anyway” James starts after calming down “would you rather… ooh this is a good one. Would you rather have your partner cheat on you with an ex or a complete stranger?”
“Does it specify whose ex? Cause I had a fling with Benji for like 2 months but Remus dated Mary for a whole year”
“It’ll have to be their ex since I don’t I have one. So would you rather have Moony cheat on you with Mary or a random person?”
They both sit in silence for a couple of minutes, the only sound that can be heard is the ticking from the clock on James’ bedside table, until Sirius whispers “That’s difficult…”
James pipes up first, clearly having reached a decision “I’d rather Lily cheat on me with a complete stranger cause then I wouldn’t have to be in the same room as them knowing that they’d slept with my girlfriend. Especially considering her ex is Caradoc Dearborn. If I were to see him after all this went down I’d lose a friend and quite possibly break his nose.”
The long haired boy nods before adding his thoughts “See, I understand that side of things since I love Mary. She’s amazing and I wouldn’t want to lose her friendship but I think I’d prefer Rem to cheat with her but only because I know her so well. If it’s a random stranger I can’t help but worry. What if they don’t take no for an answer? What if they have an STD? There are so many unknown variables. At least I know Mary is safe.”
“I can see where you’re coming from.” James nods. He thinks for a second and then chuckles “We put way too much thought into this” Glancing at his phone he finds the next question “If you had to live in a cage for 3 years, would you rather the bars be horizontal or vertical?”
“So my options are Hamster cage or prison?”
“Pretty much”
“I’d probably go for horizontal bars. If I get bored then I could climb them” Sirius answers, miming climbing up the bars.
James pauses slightly before weighing in with “See for me, I’m imagining the bars to be different sizes. Like there’s more space between the vertical bars in my mind so I’d probably go for them as I feel like you could pass objects through them easier. Would you rather have a pause button in your life or a rewind button?”
“Both! So if someone does something stupid I can pause, rewind and watch it again.”
“That’s not how this game works. It’s would you rather” James says, having to remind his friend once again.
“In that case: pause. You can take a breather before going back to whatever you were doing and no time would’ve been lost.”
“I’d go with pause too.” The bespectacled boy agrees “But I don’t want the same kind. I want to pause in the sense of pausing people…if that makes sense?”
“Nope” Sirius responds, shaking his head in confusion
“Like I’d pause people at certain ages. For instance if I had a kid I’d want to pause them at like 5 or 6 or I’d pause the marauders so we’re all like 26 forever.” Clarifies James
“I guess…what’s the next one?”
“Would you rather be the funniest person in the room or the smartest?”
“Well considering I’m normally the funniest person in the room, guess I’ll go with that option. Nothing changes and no one can steal my title!”
“Wow. I think I’d like to be a bit smarter. Maybe then I could finally keep up with some of the conversations Lils and Remus have.”
“Good luck with that one.” Sirius laughs “Shall we make this the last one?”
“Yeah, let’s find a good one to end on.” James agrees as he scrolls through the website he’s on looking for a final question “Ok, would you rather be itchy for the rest of your life or sticky for the rest of your life?”
“What am I sticky with?” teases Sirius, wiggling his eyebrows in his best friend’s direction.
“Annnnd, we’re done here!” cackles James. He shakes his head in amusement and then turns to the camera “Anyway, I’ve been Prongs, this has been Padfoot”
“Do all the liking and subscribing stuff. You can also find us on our joint channel Maraudering Mischief and me at STARlight Barking. Random as fuck content on both channels and yeah that’s pretty much everything…”
“Come buck soon everyone!” James shouts, saluting his audience goodbye.