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Sirius can be seen sat on the sofa in the marauder’s living room. Next to him is sat a boy who looks almost identical to him “What’s up my Shooting Stars! It is me Padfoot and I’m here with my ickle baby brother Reggie” he exclaims, squidging his little brothers face in his hand.
Said boy knocks his hand away “Quit it”
“So today we will be playing ‘Who’s most likely to’ Black Family edition!”
“I can see this going so wrong.” Regulus adds, shaking his head “If Bella ever sees this you are dead come next Christmas”
“I’m pretty sure she wants to kill me already so no sweat” Sirius shrugs
“Fair point”
“Ok so ‘who’s most likely to get arrested?’” The older brother reads off his phone.
Without any hesitation his brother answers “You”
“Rude! I think Bella. She is going to snap one of these days I just know it!”
“Yes but Bella is 100% more likely to better at hiding whatever crime she eventually commits. You however have the worst poker face I’ve ever seen.”
Offended, Sirius replies “No I don’t”
“All someone would have to do is threaten to scratch your bike and you’d sing like a canary”
The brothers sit in silence for a second. Failing to come up with a retort Sirius pouts and moves on “‘Who’s most likely to become Prime Minister?’ I think either Andy or Cissa”
“I was going to say Cissa.” Regulus agrees “She is definitely the most level headed of the 3.”
“You’re saying Narcissa is more level headed then Andromeda?”
“Yes. Bellatrix is batshit and Andy used to fight with Aunt Druella so much she left to go live with Ted. Cissa isn’t really all that problematic when you get down to it.” The younger one explains.
“I guess…” Sirius reluctantly agrees “Although Cissa has got to be at least a little insane since she married Lucius flipping Malfoy!”
“I’m still not convinced that that man is not half peacock. The amount of self grooming he does is actually concerning.” Regulus jokes, shaking his head in amusement, causing his older brother to laugh.
Sirius looks back at his phone and reads the next question “‘Who’s most likely to say something spiteful?”
“The entire Black family”
Sirius nods “Yeah… we can be extremely vindictive when we want to be”
“I think mother has been pretty spiteful recently. Although that might be because she’s just found out that Uncle Alphard has cut her from his will”
The older boy whistles “Harsh but honestly kind of deserved…she isn’t exactly that nice to him all things considered.”
Regulus just shrugs “More for us. What’s the next one?”
“‘Who’s most likely to go bald?’”
“Well Grandfather is already bald”
“Doesn’t count” exclaims Sirius
“Then father. Either by stress or genetics”
“Is baldness hereditary?!” The older brother shrieks as he grabs his head in fear with his free hand
“Sometimes.” Regulus shrugs. He pauses and then smirks. Turning to his brother he gives the others hair a once over before adding “In fact I think your hair is already starting to thin slightly”
This causes his brother to scream and run off camera to the nearest mirror. Regulus bites his lips to try and keep his laughter under control. Off camera the following conversation can be heard
“JAMES!”
“What?” Came the bespectacled boy’s response
“Does my hair look thin to you?” Sirius whines
Soft footsteps can be heard walking halfway down the staircase. James’ voice is a little louder when he asks in a confused voice “What?”
“My hair?!” Sirius cries “Is it thinning?!”
“You’re 22!” James splutters “I don’t think you need to worry about going bald just yet Pads”
This answer has the complete opposite effect on the older boy as he can be heard screeching “YET?!”
Back on camera Regulus gives up all hope of trying to keep his laughter under control and lets it out, holding his stomach in pain.
Off camera James, after hearing the laughter, proceeds to ask his best friend if that’s Regulus in the living room. After Sirius’ confirmation, James can be heard yelling “HI MATE!”
“HI?” Regulus calls back, confusion covering his face.
At this point Sirius wanders back into frame and sits back down. He takes a deep breath before picking his phone back up and reading the next question “‘Who’s most likely to cheat to win a game?’ I wanna say you”
“Me?!”
“Yeah, but you’d do it in such a subtle way that nobody would notice.”
“I’ll take that.” the younger brother nods “I want to say Cissa but then again Uncle Cygnus is very sly so he could probably get away with it too.”
“True! I am convinced he cheated at Monopoly the last time we all played”
“No he didn’t. You just suck!”
“HEY!”
Regulus sighs “Just read the next one”
“‘Who’s most likely to start a World War?’”
Both brothers look at each other for a second before answering “BELLA!” in sync
“10,000%!” Sirius adds
“That’s not a real percentage but yes”
“I know I don’t speak to him but man do I feel sorry for Rodolphus” chuckles the elder boy
“He has the patience of a saint! At family gatherings all you need to do is look him in the eye and you can see him crumbling. The fact that he is still somewhat sane after all these years is a miracle!”
“Poor bloke. ‘Who’s most likely to get the whole gang in trouble?’”
“Gang?” asks Regulus looking confused and slightly disgusted
“That’s what it says” Sirius says in defence. He turns his phone screen round to show Regulus and points at the question. “See?”
The younger brother just sighs and responds “It depends. If it’s just you and me then the answer’s you but if we’re including cousins then I think we’ve all gotten each other in trouble once or twice.”
“Like Andy at Great Aunt Cassiopeia’s birthday…”
“We swore ourselves to secrecy that day! We do not speak of it on pain of death!” Regulus harshly exclaims.
“I know! Like I want Andromeda coming after me! Jesus that girl can run fast!”
“Yeah well you would too if you were being chased by–” the younger boy cuts himself off. A look of fear flashing across his face.
“Did we almost slip up there Reggie?” teases the other boy next to him
Regulus slowly turns to face Sirius and quietly asks in a frightened tone “Does Andy watch your videos?”
“She watches ALL my videos” smirks Sirius.
“Ah fuck…” the younger boy dejectedly whimpers causing the older one to laugh once again “Can we just move on.”
“Sure.” Sirius replies, looking back at his phone for the next question “‘who’s most likely to burn the house down?’”
“Accidently or on purpose because they have different answers”
“What do you mean?”
“If it’s accidently then you. Probably trying to make yourself toast or something!” jokes Regulus.
Sirius lets out an offended scoff “Excuse you! I can make toast perfectly well thank you!”
“If it’s on purpose then Bella. As previously stated the woman’s insane!” the younger brother carries on, purposefully ignoring the older boys comment
“I would go with Bellatrix overall!”
“Depends on if there’s a toaster nearby”
“I CAN MAKE TOAST!”
Sirius’ outburst causes Regulus to laugh “I beg to differ… Mother’s day 2006”
“I WAS 6 YEARS OLD! Anyway ‘who’s most likely to spend all their money on things they don’t need?’ Tricky…”
“What do you mean tricky?”
“The Black family’s concept of money is way different to anybody else. A shopping spree for a normal person would be a few new clothes, a couple of DVD’s and maybe a coffee. A shopping spree for a member of the Black family is an entire new wardrobe, a home theatre renovation and then buying out Starbucks!”
Regulus thinks about his brother’s statement before relenting “OK, I see your point…”
“I feel like any family member would work as an answer because of that fact”
“Yeah… I feel like you would spend all your money on chocolate just to give it to Remus” teases the younger boy
“Most likely” Sirius confidently agrees.
Regulus catches sight of the clock on the wall behind the camera “Shit, mother’s expecting me home in half an hour. We’re gonna have to wrap this up”
“Ok.” Sirius turns his phone off and throws it onto the sofa next to him. He then turns to the camera to talk to his viewers “Thanks for tuning in to watch this video. Links to all my socials are in the description and thank you Reg for being here.”
“It was…fun. A lot more entertaining than I had thought it would be”
“That was practically a compliment! But yeah, I’ll see you Stars in the next video, SHINE BRIGHT!”
An end card pops up showing Sirius sat alone on the sofa, Regulus having left to go home. He is seen scrolling through his phone looking at some of the questions he didn’t ask. He stops on one and laughs before reading it out loud to himself “‘who’s most likely to order a pizza in the next 24 hours?’ Me! I’m fucking starving.” He pauses for a couple of seconds before yelling “JAMES? How do you feel about Dominos?”