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summer is the time for many things. the beach, late night drives with the windows down, bonfires and s'mores, camping, stargazing and picnics.
but for felix, this summer was the time for falling in love.
unfortunately for him it had to be with the most oblivious boy he's ever met.
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he met jisung at the convenience store on may thirtieth. it wasn't your typical love at first sight.
but jisung with his fluffy black hair, cropped band shirt and a skirt that rested at a height that made his cheeks flush pink and his knees weak. and it was all topped off with fishnets, platforms and black nail polish that was starting to chip, had his mind in mush. jisung had to be the prettiest thing he'd ever seen.
it definitely wasn't love at first but more of infatuation at first sight.
not only was he openly gawking at this boy but his brother, who he had totally forgotten was there, just had to make it worse.
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“are you just gonna stand there staring at him like a creep or are you gonna go talk to him?” chan nudged his shoulder. felix turned to face him, blushing furiously as he whined out “shut up, i'm not staring!”
an obvious lie.
chan sighed “i'm just saying…if you don't do it now you may never get the chance again.”
and he was right, this boy clearly isn't from their small town. felix is sure if he was he would have seen someone who dresses like that before and he would for sure remember it too.
but still trying to defend his honor he denied his obvious staring. looking back at the person of topic “i wasn't staring.” he grumbled as he steadily grew embarrassed.
chan ruffled his hair before trying to give some words of encouragement, like the supportive older brother he is. “listen how bad could it go? he could one not be into guys, which is no big deal unless he's a dick about it. two be taken, once again no big deal or it could go great and you leave with a hot guy's number.” chan tried to reason with his nerves.
it was working
and maybe with their constant back and forth he let the fact that the convenient store they were in was not all that big. and to top it off there was only five people in there including him and chan.
so when he was suddenly looking the topic of conversation right in the eye, he genuinely couldn't be surprised.
they truthfully weren't being all that quiet.
nervous? yes. surprised? no.
but he can proudly say he left the store that day with a cute boy's number.
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after that they texted, like a lot. their first texts saved him from a heavy amount of embarrassment. jisung had asked him what him and chan were talking about, apparently he didn't hear due to the airpods he was wearing. he only knew they were staring because the cashier had gotten his attention.
what a snitch.
did he lie? yes, yes he did. jisung doesn't have to know that though.
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after a few hangs out they even exchanged instagrams, to which felix swears he got whiplash from jisung's feed. jisung often posts oofds, which range from dark colors, blacks and fishnets much like when he first met him. but then there's ones where he's wearing pastels, lace and bows. or sometimes to his surprise much more casual outfits with jeans.
they quickly went from hanging out a few times a week to hanging out every day, to sleepovers.
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by august felix was sure his infatuation has turned into something a bit stronger than a crush. and no matter how many times he's practiced saying ' i love you .' to jisung he wouldn't say he's in love. not yet at least.
but saying ' i love you. ' to the just older is something his heart has been yearning for him to do. but his brain and nerves are screaming at him to not do it.
in reality he's told jisung ' i love you. ' in all but words.
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like july eighteenth when they were at his house. jisung sat in his lap in his pretty soft pinks and whites, bows and lace.
pretty as always.
jisung let out an annoyed huff as he pressed the buttons on his controller quicker, as if that would suddenly make him any better at the game. felix mumbled “you know you're pretty shitty as this.” which just got him a defensive whine out of jisung “am not!”
he couldn't help but laugh as jisung denied being shit at the game just to lose a few seconds later.
“told you.” he teased the other proud at his win. jisung turned to him, a pout plastered onto that pretty face whining about something or the other. he's pretty sure he said something along the lines of “ you distracted me! ”
which if they're going by those rules, that still isn't an excuse. to him at least.
because jisung himself is one big distraction in ways he wouldn't believe, like now. he finds it hard to focus on the words coming out of jisung's mouth as his brain seems to want to focus solely on jisung's lips.
jisung's pretty pink pouty lips that look awfully soft...and glossy, lip gloss.
his thoughts were interrupted by jisung lifting his chin up forcing felix to look him in the eyes “earth to felix,my eyes are up here.” he teased. felix flushed realizing the situation he put himself in “sorry i kinda got in a zone.”
jisung hummed letting go of felix's chin “yeah? what kind of zone? it seemed intense.”
definitely not the kind of zone where you're pinned to this couch and we kiss. definitely not that.
jisung let out a small giggle "definitely not that?"
did he say that out loud?
jisung must have picked up on the panic that was starting to bubble because he whispered “felix kiss me.”
oh.
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or on july twenty fourth when they were laying under the starry painted night sky fingers laced together.
he isn't sure how they got on the topic of dating but this was definitely the most straightforward he's been about his feelings to jisung's face.
but jisung is also as oblivious as they come.
“i don't know, i think i'm hard to handle as a romantic partner.” the just older whispered. felix frowned at this confession “what makes you say that?” jisung was quiet for a bit before mumbling back “my ex.” the hurt in his voice was evident.
felix gave jisung's hand a gentle squeeze before whispering “i think you'd make a great romantic partner.”
for me.
jisung turned to face him, asking softly “yeah?” “yeah.”
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as much as he wishes to be stuck in time, for the summer to last forever things just don't work like that.
the clock keeps ticking.
and it's now august twenty ninth, the rain drops pelting against the window causing little ripples.
hugging the hoodie jisung said he could keep when the rain started to pick up on their way here. his heart fluttered at the thought of the other.
which is a lot of fluttering considering how often he thinks of jisung.
maybe he is in love.
he rolled onto the other side of the bed taking a deep inhale feeling his heart skip a beat finding out it still smells like jisung.
okay, yeah he's in love.
this realization is something that should have him ecstatic but yet he feels anything but. in as little as a few days jisung will be heading home for another year.
yes , he can text, call and facetime jisung all he wants.
but no holding jisung's hand, no running his fingers through his hair, no letting jisung paint his nails, no sitting in jisung's lap or letting jisung sit in his lap, no warm hugs and cuddles, no nothing.
and almost if on cue, like he can sense his distress a mile away, a soft knock is heard on his door “come in.”
it's chan.
it doesn't take much prying for him to spill how he's feeling to his older brother, chan has always and will always be easy to talk to. and also great at listening as well as giving advice.
after sharing his tragic situation with his brother, the older nodded thoughtfully before speaking carefully. “i think...it's a now or never thing, personally if i were you i'd run my ass out in that rain, find him and confess. jisung is a sweetheart. if he doesn't feel the same it won't ruin your friendship.”
once again chan is here reasoning with his nerves. he wants to fight chan's logic but he can't because it just makes sense.
with a long sigh he started getting up wanting to hit the older when he started clapping for him but he held back.
the last thing he heard from chan before running out of his room was “give him a reason to come back.”
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with jisung's hoodie slipped on, felix found himself sprinting through the rain. he knows jisung couldn't have gotten too far.
he's memorized the journey from his house to jisung's like the back of his hand and he's quite familiar with jisung's walking pace. which isn't very fast.
the adrenaline pumping through him was fierce, he felt like could do anything right now. and what he's going to do is tell jisung how he feels.
yeah...he got this.
he eventually saw jisung a little bit ahead, as always jisung sticks out like a sore thumb in this area short skirt and platforms almost always on.
he was under the umbrella felix had given him before leaving. felix quickened his pace trying to catch up and once he was within reach he wrapped his arms around jisung's waist and pulled him close, hiding his head in the crook of the other's neck he whispered “ji..”
“lixie...” it's faint, so faint that he almost missed it. but jisung quickly turns around, still in felix's hold, to be face to face with the younger “you scared me what's up?”
he felt jisung pull him a bit closer while he waited, probably to keep him out of the rain, he really is such a sweetheart. but all of that adrenaline,that confidence he had before was gone.
now all he could feel was his hands shaking as his throat closed up, his heart beat drumming loudly in his ears. can jisung hear how loud it is too?
just tell him. just spit it out.
jisung must have spotted his shaking because he linked their hands, pulling him even closer if possible asking softly “are you cold?”
felix could scream if his heart wasn't in his ass, jisung is truly an angel . he can't risk fucking this up.
he shook his head “no it's just that i..you-” his words getting stuck in his throat. jisung looked at him with gentle eyes as he waited patiently. everything about him was screaming ' take your time. '
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sucking in a breath felix pushed out his confession in a jumble of words “i think i'm in love with you.”
the silence was suffocating . he wasn't even sure if jisung understood a word he had said.
he brought his gaze to jisung's face to see the other extremely flustered.
felix wasn't sure how to react he'd practiced in his head what to do when jisung rejected him a million times. he didn't even get to practice what he'd do if jisung said he felt the same. but this wasn't even in the picture when he was going over the possible outcomes of this.
the silence was broken by the sound of the umbrella that was shielding them from the rain drops from above, hitting the ground and suddenly the rain was hitting his skin again.
he barely had time to process jisung's arms linking around his neck and jisung's soft lips meeting with his own.
his eyes were wide, he definitely didn't rehearse this outcome. but he closed them quickly and kissed back as much as he could. he'll admit he's been desperate to have jisung's lips against his own since they kissed that once.
he quickly forgot about the world around him as his mind was clouded with all things jisung. the way jisung smells sweet like strawberry pound cake, the way jisung's hands feel in the back of his hair, the way jisung's lips feel on his own.
all he could think about was jisung .
he moved his own hands to wrap around jisung's waist tightly as jisung moved his lips against his deepening the kiss.
the two pulled apart to breathe, panting slightly jisung stared back into felix's eyes, face still flushed as he whispers “i really like you lixie...i can't believe i didn't realize you like me too.”
felix had to hold himself back from rolling his eyes at that (fondly of course) before he wrapped an arm around jisung's waist again and one underneath his thighs lifting him up. ignoring the squeal that came out of him, as jisung's thighs wrapped around his waist and his arms quickly clung around his neck.
felix couldn't help but go in for another kiss, this one slower, sweeter and much more gentle compared to their previous kiss. jisung's addicting taste of strawberry and vanilla lingered on his tongue and lips as they pulled away.
now he can finally say something he's been waiting to since the first day they met “you are so fucking oblivious.” jisung let out a whine as he went to open his mouth. probably to deny such claims , but he was swiftly cut off by felix's lips on his own for the third time.
felix hums happily before muttering into the kiss “like i'm being so serious you are so fucking oblivious ji.” jisung let out a groan, pulling back to whine.
yeah he's definitely in love with this boy...as oblivious as he may be.
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