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“This is perfect!” Yae cheered in joy. Why did I even agreed to this.
“It’s so itchy.” I tried loosening the collar as it was tighter than mine.
Yae laughed at me as I was struggling to move with this.. thing! How can women even wear this in public?! “You will get Itto hooked!”
“Arataki Gang leader?” I clarified. I forgot he’s actually into Miss Hina.
“Okay, now copy my poses,” Yae set her camera when she finished retouching me.
This is officially the worst day of my life. She took so much pictures as if there was no tomorrow. We we’re picking a fortune slip earlier and she betted that if I get bad luck, I’ll have to dress up as Miss Hina for her merchants. I thought I would get goodluck and betted that she’ll stop teasing me if I did. Well, no! This is even worse than bad luck!
“Gorou, we won’t finish here if you don’t stop giving me that sly look!” Yae sounded irritated. That’s right, get stress you annoying kitsune.
After a while, I got irritated as well and just did what she wanted me to do. She was not backing up for real.
“This is definitely raise my sales,” she grinned.
I glared at her. After cleaning up, I sneakily went back to Watatsumi Island. I saw Kokomi over stressing herself again. She’s such a wonderful woman, there’s something about her that makes me genuinely happy when I see her.
“Ms. Kokomi, please take a rest already.” I sat beside her. She looks so sleepy. “I’ll help you tomorrow with these, alright? For now, let’s just head back to your home.”
“Gorou!” Kokomi was shocked to see me. “It’s fine, these papers won’t do themselves.”
I just shook my head. “You’re doing your best, Ms. Kokomi. But please don’t overdo it.”
“I’m sorry,” she frowned.
“No no- I- It’s not that! Don’t get the wrong idea!” I panicked. Oh no, did she thought I deceive her? “I’m sorry!” I got up my seat and apologized. (Gorou bowed as a way of apologizing in Japan)
“It’s okay,” she said softly. I felt her hand patting my head. I looked up to her smiling. When were you not this gorgeous?
“W-we should.. go get some rest,” I excused myself. I took her to her house before I went back to mine.
While walking home, I kept thinking about that smile. It was so.. pretty. Agh, stop it Gorou! Worry about that Miss Hina merchant more! This is the last time I’ll fall for that stupid kitsune’s trap!
The next few days the town suddenly went wild of the new Miss Hina banner. I had it coming that it would make a hit. But why does Miko need me now?
“What now?” I arrived at the Grand Narukami Shrine.
“Your Miss Hina made my book sales rise,” she greeted. Of course it will.
“Uhm, I know about that. Why did you need me here?”
Yae looked at me from head to toes. She giggled but stopped suddenly. Seriously, what is going on with her.
“Well, I might’ve promised my readers that she’ll get a meet-and-greet.” She scoffed. “So..”
“So fuck off,” I got so pissed. A meet-and-greet?! With no hesitation, no!
“Aww, the puppy didn’t get his treat?” She teased. My face went red. “It’ll be just this once, no other more.”
“Miko, I lost a bet, did the bet, and that’s it.” I was about to leave when she called me.
“You don’t want Kokomi knowing your little secret, right?” She smirked. This! Ugh!
My face turned hella red imagining Kokomi’s reaction. “Oh you have no idea what you’re doing you stupid kitsune!”
“Great. I’ll see you in the 20th~“ She winked at me and left.
Just imagining a bunch of weird dudes wanting my autograph sounds so cringey. Not to mention I have only a week to prepare for that madness. I can’t believe I let myself agree to that bet.
“Gorou!” Kokomi greeted me. “Where have you been?”
“Ms. Kokomi, I’ve just came back from Yae’s.” I smiled at her. She looked worried which made me kind of blush.
“You’ve been with.. Yae lately,” she mentioned. She put her hands together and acted pleased. Is she? Pft, yeah as if Gorou.
“It’s not w-what you think!” I tried to laugh it off as I think of an excuse. “You see..”
“Sounds like you’re having fun,” she cut me off. She just smiled at me and told me about her new book that she was reading.
Her angelic voice struck something inside me again. It’s like I could listen it for hours. If only we can be like this everytime.
Days have been quick. It was almost that stupid meet-and-greet so I went to stop by in some places that has a nice view to clear my mind.
“Stop moving!” I heard from a distance. That cranky voice.. it sounds familiar.
“Itto?” I yelled. I went and looked for him. There he was.. catching an onikabuto?
“General Gorou?” He looked at me with confusion in his eyes. “Ayo, where the beetle go?!” He turned back to where he was looking at.
“Sorry, did I disturbed you?” I laughed because of his sad face. Is he really catching onikabuto out here?
“N-Not at all!” He bowed at me to greet but I said that it wasn’t necessary. He told me that the onikabuto he was trying to catch for traveller was so hard to chase and that he lost track of it when he saw me.
“Gosh, I feel bad.” I scratched the back oh my head. “I’m so sorry, I-I’ll help you catch it!”
“No no! It’s not a big deal. It’s just a gift for the traveller!” He cleared. I remembered that there were plenty near the Grand Narukami Shrine but then there’s Yae Miko.
“We can look for a different one in some places that’s easy to catch them!” I offered.
“Well you see, this onikabuto is a special one!” He explained that he researched about it and the one he’s been catching was a top-grade one. Weird but he seems really dedicated.
“Alright then, let’s hunt for this onikabuto!” I asked him about where he last saw it.
He smiled at me, like genuinely which made me smile too. He seemed really kind despite being this loud oni punk he was.
“O-over there!” He screamed as he saw it. Gotcha!
It was really fast but it was big enough to track. After a few over here and over theres, we finally caught it.
“Woooooh! Who knew that the Great General of Watatsumi Army can be this good at tracking bugs!” He laughed. “Hey, you got a hold of this thing real quick ha!”
“T-thanks,” I was catching my breathe.
He praised me even more just for catching a mere bug. I can’t really put a finger on it, but this guy seemed really relaxing to be with. I was about to say my goodbyes when he called me once.
“Hey uh, can I ask you something?” He stood up clearly. “Do you find me.. weird?”
I felt kind of a moron. Did I acted too unpleasant? Was I too bothered? “What? N-no! Of course not, dude.”
“Wow, really?!” He seemed very shocked. “Thanks General!”
I smiled at him and waved goodbye. Why did he suddenly asked? Do others think he’s weird? I mean, being into bugs is not really that childish. He’s a nice person too. Maybe it’s because the punk aura that he’s giving off. Man, catching that bug made me forget about that Miss Hina thing. Was it the bug? Or was it Itto’s company? Pft, yeah right.
It’s finally the 20th. This stupid Hina outfit is so hot! I mean, hot as in it’s sweating me inside. I can’t lie, Yae really put a lot of effort into this meet-and-greet. I thought she was going to embarrassed me.
“Get a hold of your tail, doggy.” Yae scoffed as I was trying to shake off my nervousness.
“You are killing me slowly,” I glared.
I peeked through the window. There was already a crowd waiting. Miss Hina sure does have a lot of admirers. .
“Are you ready?” Yae asked.
“No.” She just laughed and let me out.
My hands were shaking, my feet was cold. I can’t handle this much people.
“Miss Hina, I’ve been looking forward to see you!” The person said as I was signing their book.
I didn’t know what to say so I smiled. They were all nice and not weird after all. I quite of enjoy this. While I was signing books, I saw someone from the end of the line. Itto! I wanted to say hi but it will crash my disguise.
“M-Miss Hina!” He was smiling really hard. His cheeks were rose red.
“Itt- Hello!” I smiled. Shit!
“Y-you know me?!” He looked more excited. “I’m Arataki Itto! I-I’ve been waiting to see you. At first, I thought it was too good to be true but you’re really here! You look really pretty! Like really.”
“I’m glad.” I smiled. “Why’d you not come earlier then?”
“I knew I would take a long time s-so I purposely went to the back of the line so that others wouldn’t complain about me taking my whoooole time of the world!” He laughed. “S-sorry if I talk a lot, I’m just very nervous right now.”
I laughed at him and took his hand. “There’s no need for apologizing. You may take as many of my time.”
His whole face was red! It’s so funny seeing him all shy. “O-oh wow! R-really?” He looked like a kid whose mom gave him a lollipop.
I guess he’s really nice towards everyone. Wether I was General Gorou, or Miss Hina, he was still the same.
“Mhm! Now, would you like to talk about something?” I asked. He was stuttering a lot and it was funny as hell to see him having all his punkiness washed away when he’s with this ‘Miss Hina’.
“W-well, I wanted to give a gift too but I thought that it was very childish so I just threw that idea away.” He tried to laugh it away but I could tell that he was disappointed.
“I’m guessing it’s an onikabuto?” Shit no! I was thinking out loud! My soft girly voice also went away, shit! Shit! Shit!
“Y-you guessed?” He laughed. “Yeah, it was.”
“It’s not childish.” I assured him. He smiled again and talked about how he was about to deny it because, again, it was childish.
“I-It was a blast seeing you, Miss Hina!” He scratched his head. “Looks like it’s getting dark now! I’ll s-“ He stopped.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I-it’s nothing.” For a moment, he looked disappointed but covered it up with a smile. “Have a great evening!”
I smiled and waved him goodbye. I wanted to ask him say what went through his head at that moment but, I didn’t want to sound like a clingy cosplayer. It was kind of out of character too.
“Hm? Looks like little doggy had a fun time with little humans,” I turned to see Yae standing behind me as I took all my stuff from the desk.
“Oh shut your mouth.” I took off my wig and head inside. Why did I actually.. enjoyed that?
“My, my! I can’t lie, you made such a good impression of my Miss Hina!” She praised. “Sadly, I will never see her again.” She pouted sarcastically.
“Save your pity excuses. You said this will be a one time thing,” I said to her while taking off the dirt on my face.
“Oh? I actually thought you would want another go,” she joked. “You seem reaaaally interested in that oni guy.”
My face heated up. “H-he was just being nice.”
“That little smile you had earlier sure wasn’t just an act though~“ she teased more.
“Would you shut up already?!” I furrowed my eyebrows.
She wet her lower lip and looked at me with her deadly eyes. “I didn’t know doggies can get meaner when they’re flustered.” She scoffed.
I was about to say something to her when she left the room. What is wrong with her. After I finished cleaning up, I went back to Watatsumi Island and looked for Kokomi.
“Ms. Kokomi?” I searched in her office. No sign of her. I asked some of her people of her whereabouts.
“She was meeting up with Ms. Kujuo Sara earlier, Sir.” One of her people said.
“And when was that?” I asked, worried.
“Apparently, right after you came back Sir. I highly sense that she was waiting for you and went out to get some air.” He said. “Commanders has it that she went to Kujuo Encampment instead.”
Huh? Does she has business with Sara again, at this time? “Thanks. Let me know when she gets back.”
I sat on one of the benches to wait for her. Impatiently, I went out to a better place. Man, I hate to admit it but the meet-and-greet was really fun. I wish people admired me like Itto, maybe then I won’t doubt myself.
“Hey, little guy!” I heared Itto from behind. I saw him walking to me from a distance. I sat mannerly.
“Hey.” I smiled as he sat next to me. “Didn’t expect you here.”
“Eh you know, I’m Arataki Itto. I’m all around!” We both laughed. I didn’t know why but I was happy to bump into him again. “Why’re you here? Having intrusive thoughts?”
“Oh no!” I told him that I was just getting some fresh air.
“You can talk to me, y’know,” he assured me. “I-I mean, I know we don’t hang out or anything but, I can be a friend!”
I felt warm inside. “T-thanks.”
He chuckled. “Anytime! Also, I went to see Miss Hina earlier. N-not that you care but.. yeah!”
“Itto..”
“Hm?” He glanced at me.
“You know I’ll listen to your stories. You don’t have to act like I’ll judge you.” I simply gave him a genuine smile, something that I don’t give out to people often.
Out of nowhere, he started tearing up. “Sir, yes sir!”
“Eh?! No need for that, I said!” We both chuckled and looked at each other for a while. He makes me feel like I can be myself whenever I’m with him. Maybe it’s because he’s also himself when he’s with me.
“Miss Hina was so sweet to me! I-it was like I was speaking to the angels above,” he was getting flustered as he was talking about her.
“What do you like about Miss Hina anyways?” I asked, all of a sudden.
“Hm? Well, there’s no specific reason to that.” He said. “Simply because, she’s a well-written character and just beautiful. And when I met her, I realized that she was my kind of woman.”
“Your kind of woman?” I looked at him.
“Y-yeah, like my type.” He looked back at me, which made me look away. “A-ah! I’m sorry!”
“It’s fine,” I brushed it off.
“You kind of remind me of Miss Hina,” he mentioned.
I knew he was going to. “Yeah, I kind of do look like her.”
“N-no, not that! It’s just that, you both don’t complain about how noisy I am.” I saw that he was getting shy all of a sudden.
“Why not? You seem pretty nice to have around.” I smiled as I was looking at the stars. He scooted over closer to me.
“You’re wrong, little guy.” He laughed softly. “I-I’m not what you think I am.”
“Then I’ll listen to your story so you won’t doubt me.” I smiled which made him giggled. I never knew he had a soft side.
He stole a glance at me. “That sounds nice.”
He pointed out stars in the sky, giving them a bunch of names as we talked about Miss Hina and his onikabuto collection. I asked him about his gang, he was so excited to introduce me the members. Hours felt like minutes with him.
“Then there’s this one time traveller threw beans at me,” we both laughed. “I-It was a pretty weird way to meet each other but that guy,” he kissed his fingers like he’s doing a chef’s kiss impression, “super incredible.”
It was really fun to be with him this late at night. “Hey, Itto?”
“Hm?” He looked at me. My heart rate instantly raised as we looked at each other.
“Uh- Well- Not to be weird but, have you fallen in love with Miss Hina?” I asked.
He held his laugh, oh gosh I look so stupid. “She might be THE woman but you know, she’s just fictional.” He looked so disappointed despite looking at me with a smile in his face.
“W-well, what if she wasn’t?” I asked more. I sound so weird right now asking more about his feelings towards Miss Hina.
“I mean, hell yeah but either way, I wouldn’t stand one bit of a chance with that woman,” he scoffed. “She’s waaaaay out of my league.”
“Who knows,” my smile faded. “Some people fall in love in the most mysterious way.”
“Love, huh?” He picked a flower beside him. “IIIIII don’t really think I’m capable to.”
He stood up and looked at me. I don’t know why but I felt kind of sad when he did. I could tell that he was going to say goodbye the moment he stood up from his seat. I mean, I can see him again but I don’t know why I’m this disappointed of him leaving. Maybe it’s just because we we’re having a great time.
“It was nice talking to you.” I got up when he lend me his hand.
“Hey, don’t mop around like that.” He cheered me up. “We’ll meet again, little guy.”
Was I really mopping around? Gosh, this is so embarrassing!
“I-I hope so! Let’s meet again.” I told him.
As he went back to God knows where, I went back to my cabin. Crap! I forgot I was only waiting for Ms. Kokomi!
“Ms. Kokomi?” I knocked on her office door.
When she opened the door, she was shocked to see me. “Gorou! Gosh, it’s so late. Where have you been?”
“S-sorry! Have I disturbed your sleep?” I apologized in advance.
“Not at all! Please rest now, the sun will rise very soon.” She offered.
I told her goodnight and went back to my cabin only to find myself having trouble sleeping. I couldn’t quite rest but I was sure I was sleepy when I got here. Usually, I have no trouble sleeping. Whatever, it’s just the season.
Weeks have gone by and I’ve been bumping by Itto pretty often. Once, we went out to catch for his onikabuto collection and another was me taking him to my favorite bakery in town. We’ve talked a lot about our stories and I’d been very happy to have someone that I can talk to other than Ms. Kokomi and Kazuha.
“General! Pst!” I heard someone from my window.
“Itto!” I went up to him. “It’s the middle of the night. Must you go here and not rest instead?”
“W-well.” He looked left and right as if someone would hear him. “I’ve found something very suspicious around Watatsumi Island!”
“Really?” I crossed my arms. I could sense that he was lying but I played along.
“Really! Now, can you come with me to check it out?” He offered and let a nervous smile.
“You’re very much of a punk so why not go alone?” I teased.
He frowned and begged me to go with him. “Pleaaaaaase, you need to go with me! There’s this really urgent thing that I saw. I thought bringing you because you’re the general after all.”
I rolled my eyes and said yes. Such a big baby.
“Alright! Let us go, my general!” He lend me a hand through the window. M-my general?!
We went up to this hill that showed the moon. It looks bigger than usual. “Itto, where exactly should I be lookin-“
I couldn’t finished my sentence as I looked to him, wearing a bandana. He looks so stupid! I burst out laughing but he just grabbed something behind his back. It was a drum.
He cleared his throat. “I’ve been practicing this for a while. This is a very special song just for you!”
I kind of felt shy. For me? “That’s really sweet but in the middle of the night?”
“It’s just past 12!” He complained. He started making a beat with his drum. “Happy birthday, Gorou! Awo, awo!”
Is he really beatboxing?! I let out the most genuine laugh. I never laughed like this in years! “What are you doing you idiot.” I joked.
“What? Don’t like it?“ He smiled. “Happy birthday dear Gorouuuu! Happy birthday to you! Psh, psh, powwwww.”
We both hysterically laughed. “Did you really planned doing it out here so that I could laugh my ass out?”
“You could say that. Though, I picked this place out so you can see the moon! Also, there’s plenty of crystal flies here, just as you like!” He pointed out. “I was doubting you would like it because you know this place more than me but, I just shoot my shot. We can go somewhere else if you have something in mind-“
“It’s beautiful, Itto.” I cut him off. “Thank you.”
We both looked into each other’s eyes. He looked more cool than usual. His eyes were shining brighter than the stars.
“Y-you’re really red, General.” He said, looking away.
I touched my face and it really was! I didn’t know how to hide it so I turned back at him. I heard him giggled.
“I-i don’t mind it.” He laughed. “Happy birthday, Gorou.” I felt his hand patting my head.
I crossed my arms. “T-thank you. Let’s go back?”
“You don’t have anything to talk about?” He asked. I suddenly felt like there was something heavy on my chest.
“N-nothing.” I just said.
The energy between us was really awkward on the way back. Agh, I hate myself for ruining things!
“T-there was one more surprise that I’ve plan.” He said, ruining the awkward silence.
I instantly looked at him. “What is it?”
His brows raised. “I told my grandma if we could have dinner together later tonight because it’s your birthday.” He didn’t want to look at me. Was he shy?
I stopped on my tracks and held his hand. “I’d love to go.”
He looked flustered. Did he really think I’d refuse to him? “C-cool.” He brushed off.
I went back to my cabin and said goodbye to him. Thinking about earlier, I realized that I haven’t been that happy ever since. He really went out of his way to greet me at exactly 1 am? I guess he thought the day begins at 1 am and not 12. That’s so cute.. stupid I mean.
“Happy birthday, Gorou!” Kokomi greeted me when I saw her in the morning.
I smiled at her. “Thank you, Ms. Kokomi.” She handed me a letter. I guess it was a birthday letter.
“I-i was rushing to make that when I just remembered your birthday yesterday.” She told me that it might not be that perfect since it was rushed.
Atleast she remembered. “It’s fine, Ms. Kokomi. Thank you so much.”
A lot of commanders and citizens greeted me. I felt kind of sad earlier. Why am I comparing her to Itto?! You’re so fucked up, Gorou. Itto’s a friend and Kokomi’s just there because she’s my upper.
“Happy birthday, Gorou.” Kazuha came up to me while I was eating this infamous dango milk.
“Kazuha!” I hugged him and so did he. “Thank you. Didn’t expect you here!”
“I couldn’t miss my best friend’s birthday.” He said and offered to take me somewhere else.
We went through a bunch of food stall before going somewhere peaceful. He payed for all of the food I took.
“How have you been doing?” He asked me. I missed having pep talk with him
“Pretty dense. There’s been a lot going through my head but, it’s not that big if a deal.” I told him that I sometimes find myself looking for something that’s not there.
He was thinking. “Have you been feeling this way ever since?”
My mind instantly thought about Itto. “I’ve met someone and ever since then, all my problems seems to feel lighter. It’s like, whenever I’m sad, I come up to them.”
When I turned to look at him, he was smirking! “You sound kind of, in love.”
“In love? Out of all the things you could’ve said.” I bargain. I gave him a smug look.
“You said it yourself. You’re seeking happiness in them. Though, did you feel like this when with Kokomi?”
I thought about Kokomi. “She just always seems so busy. Whenever I come up to her, she’s this untouchable person I can’t seem to reach.”
“Maybe it’s because she’s not the person you’re into. Sometimes, there’s this urge that people fight when they’re in love. That urge is their desire to pursue them.” He looked at me. “Are you feeling that urge?”
“I.. don’t know,” my mind started to think more.
“I think you do. Not all people who falls in love knows it. But the moment you think ti yourself if you’re in love with someone, you definitely are.”
“You really are the greatest pep talker in Inazuma.” I teased. Hearing these words from him struck something inside me.
We talked a lot more. When it was getting dark, I told him that I was off to go somewhere else.
“Stay in love, pretty boy!” He teased as I walked away but I just gave him a finger.
I went to my cabin before going to see Itto. I wore something that was kind of pleasant so that my waist wasn’t showing.
“Gorou! Where are you going?” Kokomi asked me when she saw me heading off.
“To somewhere. What’s wrong?” I asked. Please don’t give me a task, dear Shogun!
She frowned. “O-oh. I was hoping maybe we could go out for dinner.”
I was surprised that she actually thought about that. I gently declined and told her that I was having dinner with someone else.
“Someone?” She suddenly sounded kind of irritated. Is she jealous? That’s impossible!
“Y-yeah.”
“Have fun!” She just smiled and went away. I wanted to stop her and ask to join us but that would be a trouble to Itto’s grandma.
When I met up with Itto. I got quiet. I didn’t want him to think I felt uncomfortable around him so I tried saying something. No words were coming out.
“You know, sometimes I doubt you being super duper extra okay with me!” Itto said to me as we we’re walking to his grandma’s house.
“Why is that?” I looked at him.
“I don’t know, maybe it’s because you’re the best little guy I’ve ever known AND you’re willing to be friends with a punk like me?!” I told him to be quiet since there’s many people on the streets.
“Despite me being the ‘best little guy,’ what else?” I asked. The weigh in my chest suddenly lighten.
“Y’know, you’re very inquisitive when it comes to my feelings about others.”
What does that mean? He literally got me blushing all of a sudden. “That means nothing!”
He looked at me but turned away when he noticed me starring. “W-well, your honesty and kindness to me seems so.. genuine! A-and the way you always want to spoil me with your foods?! There’s no way a guy I met through an onikabuto hunting would treat me this purely! Truly, you’re an angel.”
That made me kind of shy. I haven’t been told such words in my life before. I’ve never been appreciated this much for being.. me.
“D-do you really mean every word you said?” I asked.
“Hell yeah!” He giggled. “I could tell you a lot more things. You see, I might be veryyyyy talkative but every word that comes out in my mouth is true! Maybe you’re just a charmer and all but hey, it works on me!”
Both of us laughed. “It’s just that, I’ve always doubt myself too. Having someone feeling this way about me just brings so much warmth in my heart.”
I was going to glance at him but he was looking at me the whole time! And.. he was blushing?
“So, both of us feel the same way, huh?” We both laughed at the irony. Yeah, same way..
“We’re home!” Itto said as we arrived.
“Oh goodness!” Grandma bowed at me. “Welcome, General!”
“Oh no, no!” I told her that there’s no need to be professional around me and that she shouldn’t address me as General.
I saw the table that she prepared for us. There was Tonkotsu Ramen, Rice balls, and Dango for dessert. It looked really well-made which made me kind of shy realizing that she prepared all this just for us.
“Happy birthday dear,” Grandma spoke while we we’re eating. “Thank you for always being so kind to my grandson.”
“He is an amazing person.” I replied. “I-in fact, he’s the one I should thank for understanding me.”
They both looked at me. “What? N-no!” Itto sounded surprised.
“He’s always there whenever I need someone to lash out my problems to. He’s there when work drains me.”
Itto looked at me with a genuine smile. He got too shy and excused himself to the bathroom. For a moment, I felt embarrassed as Grandma stayed silent. Oh my gosh! Did i say something wrong?
“I’m glad.” His grandma spoke. “He doesn’t need to find his blue oni after all.”
“Blue oni..?” Does that mean he has a wife?!
“Every red oni has a blue one. They would play together before but, something happened.” Grandma’s face turned sad. “He used to say that he’ll find him no matter what. I felt bad. Though he has his gang, he has no one to cry on.”
My heart suddenly stopped. I didn’t know such a joyful person could have went through this. “I’ll always stay at his side.”
She smiled and thank me. She didn’t really need to thank me, I’m not doing it out if pity. Besides, he’s really my cup of coffee.
Morning past by and I saw Ms. Kokomi right when I was about to walk somewhere.
“Gorou!” She approached.
“Good morning, Ms. Kokomi. Have you come to request something?”
“G-Good morning!” She forgot to say good morning, huh? So cute.
“Ah! Don’t bother.” I asked her if she took some rest after remembering she went to Kujuo’s.
“Yes, don’t worry. Though, can I ask where you must go early this morning?”
My eyebrows raised. “O-oh, to Yae’s.”
She just nodded. Was she irritated? Oh gosh, was I being a reckless general? I apologized for my absence but she assured that I wasn’t doing anything wrong.
“I’ll go now.” I waved goodbye as I walked away.
I went to Grand Nakurami Shrine to find Yae. Her helpers told me that she wasn’t around. I tried finding her in her publishing house but she wasn’t there either. Giving up, I went to a ramen house to eat breakfast.
“Oh? Has the puppy made up his mind about me?” Out of nowhere, Yae came.
“S-stop teasing me early in the morning!” My mood suddenly changed.
She laughed at me. “My maidens have told me that you were looking for me~”
I sighed. I don’t know what went through my mind but I just said it. “I want to continue this Miss Hina thing.”
“A one time thing eh?” She teased. “My little puppy had embraced his true passion!”
“Keep it down, will you?” I told her off but she just giggled and ordered one for herself.
“I’ll have to think about it,” she said in a monotone.
“Think?” I got kind of irritated. “I thought you would like my offer just now.”
“Making Miss Hina have a daily meet-and-greet would make her overrated.” She explained. “I don’t want my precious Miss Hina die down just like that.”
“Oh c’mon, Miss Hina would make a hit in no time.” I cheered her up.
“It’s not that pup,” she debunked. “Miss Hina being an approachable character would ruin the reader’s imagination at some point.”
I just glared at her. Why did that make me disappointed all of a sudden? Maybe being Miss Hina was my guilty pleasure? Being appreciated and admired by people was really comforting.
“Was there a reason for you to.. magically agree to this daily meet-and-greet?” She asked out of the blue.
I think. “U-uh..”
She moved closer to me which made me back up. “You like that oni dude, don’t you?”
I felt my cheeks heat up. “H-huh?! What does he have to do with that?!”
“You sound a little too defensive~,” she teased. “It’s no mystery you’re into him!”
“I am not!” I gushed at her. “Just because he’s fun to talk to, doesn’t mean I like him!”
“See? The closet is very crystal clear, pup.” She looked at my tail when I hid it.
“Shut up already.” I payed my ramen and went out.
“Don’t worry puppy boy, I’ll get Miss Hina a boyfriend soon~,” she teased more.
Damn that stupid kitsune! Always speaking non-sense. Just because he’s a decent guy and I admire him for that, doesn’t mean I like him already. He said it himself that he only admired Miss Hina and there was no way he’ll fall for her.
“General Gorou? Are you okay?” A citizen asked me. “You look really red, would you like to cool up?”
“A-ah! Please excuse my face, i-it’s just from the weather.” I excused.
“B-but General, the morning breeze is cold..” she mentioned.
That made my face heat up more. “E-excuse me!”
I ran away to get somewhere not crowded. Finally, no one to please. And nothing to fear. What is this feeling? Why am I suddenly expecting something to happen? It’s just the adrenaline rush, right?
“He couldn’t be here,” I scoffed. Do I really not want him to just suddenly appear again?
“Gorou?”
“Itto!” I looked behind me, only to see Ms. Kokomi.
“P-pardon!” She apologized.
“A-ah! M-ms. Kokomi! I’m sorry for shouting!” I, too, apologized.
“N-no worries,” she smiled. “Were you expecting Arataki Itto?”
“W-well,” I blushed. “Not really. What brings you here?”
Her brows raised and was getting something from her pocket when it fell to the ground. I went to pick it up but bumped into her head.
“S-sorry,” I said in a soft voice as we both laughed.
“I-it’s okay.” She showed me a book. “I’ve been wanting to share you this book! But you’re always not around..”
“O-oh.” It was a book called ‘The Cupid’s Bow.’
I looked at her, she was avoiding eye contact. I didn’t know what to feel so I took it. I told her that the book had a beautiful cover and that I would read it.
“G-gorou..” She was muttering something so I moved closer to her.
“Please do not hesitate, Ms. Kokomi.” I kindly waited for her to say something.
“I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I can’t stop myself any longer,” she was stuttering a lot so I tried comforting her.
“Ms. Kokomi, whatever it is, it would do no harm.” I smiled and held her hand that was shaking. “Please, take your time.”
“Gorou,” she looked sad. “I don’t know why but you treat me so nicely. Though I keep saying to myself that it’s only because I’m your senior but it doesn’t help.”
My face heated up. “Ms. Kokomi?”
“I-I like you, Gorou!” She finally said it.
“Ms. Kokomi, I..” I was about to say something when she spoke.
“I-it’s okay. I know you don’t like me.” My brows raised. “My mind is telling me it’s Yae, but my guts says otherwise. Though it’s definitely not me, is it?”
“Ms. Kokomi,” I held her face. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I liked you too but, not enough to pursue you.”
She hugged me tight. I felt my shirt getting wet. I brushed her hair as she cried while burying her face in my chest.
“Please, never speak about this to anyone. I do not want out relationship to bother our work.” She spoke in between her tears. I pat her head.
“Of course, Ms. Kokomi.”
I tried to cheer her up the whole day. Why didn’t I accepted her? Somehow there was this void between me and her that just felt like it should stay there. Yet I was so sure I’ve fallen for her. Maybe it’s just because my plate is full and that I can’t enter a relationship for now, is it?
After a few days, there were no sign of Itto. Weird but I find myself always going in some random places, hoping to bump into him. It’s just because I like his company and would like to talk to someone that can understand me. That was all there is. A bond between two bros. God, I miss him.
“Stressed?” I heard a glass of tea served beside me.
“Ms. Kokomi,” I sounded hopeless. My head came to look up to her, seeing her now wasn’t the same as before. “I’m confused of what I want and what I really feel right now. I-it’s like my heart’s missing something that shouldn’t.”
“Now, now.” She pursed her lips as she saw how messy my desk was.
“S-sorry.” I excused my untidiness.
“Oh my, no. I don’t mind at all.” She assured. “See Gorou, there is no need to rush your emotions as it will only confuse you more.”
She held my hand and placed it against to where my heart beats.
“Feel it?” My heart was beating fast. “Your heart’s trying to tell you something, but you’re blocking it.”
“I am?” Confused, I tried to understand her.
She laughed at me. “Clueless now, aren’t we? You will find yourself listening to your heart more once you’ve learn to follow it.”
“W-what if I’m not capable?” I muttered.
She looked at me, confused. “What is there that you are not capable of doing?”
We both laughed. “A lot actually, but I’m talking about falling in love.”
“So you do not have the desire to love someone?” She asked. I just looked at her.
“I don’t even know how it works.” I laughed it off to sound less awkward. I lied, I just don’t know if it is love.. or just attachment.
“You will find yourself doing the most unexpected things when you are.”
Unexpected? “Is it really all that? You can’t fall in love that quickly.”
“That’s why it drives you crazy. And how would you know? You said you do not know how it works,” she sounded like she was sarcastic although she made her point.
“I need to get some fresh air.”
I went outside and immediately went up to the place where I first saw him.
“Ittoooo?!” I yelled as loud as I can. “Please come visit me againnnn! Let’s talk about our interests! Let’s do things together again! Please, once moreeeee!”
No sign. Although I was sure I was loud as I can be, no one heard me. Hopeless, I walked away when I saw an onikabuto on a tree. That’s it, he must be in that cave!
I searched every single place in Inazuma that has onikabuto lingering around. Nothing. I was getting so frustrated, I started to cry. Crying wasn’t really my thing but tears just fell.
[4 MONTHS LATER]
“Good morning, General!” Commanders greeted. They were all in line as usual.
“Good morning. Have you seen Ms. Kokomi?”
They told me she was in a near pond. I went to look for her and there, she was feeding her fishes.
“Good morning!” I greeted her. She turned to me and was about to fall into the pond when I caught her.
“G-gorou!” She was turning red. How cute.
“Did I surprised you that much?” I apologized to her but she just gave me a peck on the cheek.
She asked if I can give her a chance. I didn’t want to agree because she’ll end up hurting herself in the process.
“N-no! I just never really expected you to come look for me early this morning.” She offered me into feeding her fishes.
“They’ve grown a lot.” We’ve always been looking out for her new fishes since one of her fish gave birth.
“Isn’t so amazing?” We both laughed. “Time flies really fast.”
“Yeah.” I smiled though I felt kind of sad.
Everyday, there’s a hole in my heart that’s screaming to be filled. It’s really irritating since it gave me insomnia. Never did I wanted to be cared for this hard. Maybe that’s why I let Kokomi inside my heart, I thought she could fix it.
“You’ll find him.” She spoke.
“H-huh?” I was shocked by what she said. “What do you mean?”
“Itto. I know you’re still hoping.” She smiled. “I see you everytime Gorou, going in places in your free time.”
“Nope. He was just a friend that I felt really happy with,” I tried to act like I didn’t want to see him yet my heart aches everyday that I wish I could.
She giggled. “You are the best actor I know.”
“Am I that obvious?” I failed.
“Say, why not brighten up your mood and see if your fortune in looking for him will be very successful.”
I was worrying about Yae Miko but I couldn’t care less. So we went to Narukami Shrine to get a fortune slip.
“Anddd? What’d you get?” She asked.
“No luck.” I laughed it off. It’s just a silly fortune slip, it won’t hurt.
“I’m sorry.” She frowned.
“N-no. Ms. Kokomi, it’s okay!” I offered her to get some fresh air.
My guts was telling me to pick a fortune slip again since she pick one for me earlier. Just face it, Gorou. He’s never going to be here. He left you.
“You should go ahead, Ms. Kokomi. I’d like to speak with Miko first.” She was about to say something but just walked away.
I was going to pick a fortune slip when Miko really did appeared.
“That’s not very considerate of you, puppy.” She tapped my shoulder.
“What now?” I asked.
“Remember our last conversation? I think you might get a chance to be Miss Hina again~.”
At first I wanted to decline but thinking of Itto, maybe he’ll go? “W-when is it?”
“Oh my! I didn’t expect you to be this excited that you’ll wag your little cute tail.” She teased. Stupid kitsune!
“Just tell me the details.” I shook my head off but my tail wouldn’t stop!
“It’ll be on Saturdays.” She told me more and more about my schedule.
“It’s going to be daily now? The last time you told me, you didn’t want it to be.” I felt kind of backing off. What if Itto won’t show up? Am I just going to continue on Miss Hina?
“We’ll run it daily for now. If we get a complain, then we’re not sailing it.” I guess that’s a good way.
I went back to Kokomi. She asked me how’d it go. Lying, I told her why I got bad luck. She just laughed at me and told me that maybe it’s just not my time yet.
It was saturday. The streets were busy when Miss Hina’s meet-and-greet was announced. I’m finally back with being Miss Hina. I wanted to complain about my outfit being so tight but I needed to get used to it.
“Seems like you already have a crowd.” Yae pointed out the window.
I somehow felt relaxed compared to the last time I did this. Maybe deep down, I already knew that Itto’s not coming.
“Miss Hina, are you okay?” A fan asked me as I was signing their book.
“Pardon?” I asked as they look really concerned.
“I just thought that you look really sad today. Are you not feeling well?” They asked in a soft tone so only I could hear them. That was very considerate of them.
“I’m fine..” I smiled.
After a few people went by, I found myself getting bored. I don’t think I can do this every Saturday. I mean, I should be enjoying this right? I did before but why was it different now? Everyone seemed to admire me the same.
“Miss Hina..” Someone spoke as I was fixing the books behind my table.
“Oh sorry dear, the greet’s over.” I was tidying up everything since it was getting pretty dark.
“O-oh. Y-you said onikabutos are not childish? So.. here!”
My brows raised. Onikabutos? I didn’t want to turn my back yet! I didn’t know hoe to face him. I wasn’t ready.
“A-are you just going to keep fixing books? That’s okay! I’ll just leave it here at your desk.” I heard a box placed down on my desk. “I-it’s nice seeing you again! Seems like waiting at the back of the line led me to nothing ey?”
I heard him going away when I just couldn’t help it. “Itto!”
He turned around. He’s more buff than the last time I saw him. My heart suddenly beat faster. Words weren’t coming out again.
“I-i.. Uhm..” I was muttering! “T-thank you!” I bowed. He was shock when I did and bowed in panic too.
“No need, Miss Hina! You deserve it!” He looked up at me.
His face was all sweating and red. His chest looked more tougher, his horns were more longer, the red tips on his white hair was fading. All I see now is a different oni than I remembered, could he still be my oni?
“Itto, I..” I wanted to say so much. I wanted to just jumo on him and hug him. I wanted to ask him so much.
“Are you alright, Miss Hina?” He asked. He looked concerned.
“N-nothing. Please rest for the night.” I told him.
He said goodnight and left. Does he really not care about me as Gorou? Am I really not worth seeing? I hate him so much yet my heart’s telling me otherwise.
“How did it went?” Yae asked when I came back at her publishing house.
“I.. need to go.” My legs were shaking as I went to get some fresh air.
I went where no one can see me. My eyes started to form tears. Fuck, I forgot to dress up.
“What is it that Miss Hina has that I don’t have as Gorou? Tell me, tell me Itto!” I yelled. “Am I not your kind of woman?! Do you not like me? Will I need to be a woman for you to love me?”
Love, huh? I guess we really do feel the same. We’re both not capable of it after all. Who am I kidding? It was just you.
“M-miss Hina?” I heard behind me. Did he heard me?!
“I-itto! Please, look away!” I turned away from him as he was about to touch my shoulder.
“I’m sorry! I just heard crying and then there I saw you! I don’t know what’s going on but I’m willing to be a friend!” I sensed him bowing at me.
To be a friend? He said the same to me. Oh why did you treat me the same as everyone else? I thought I was special.
“Just leave, please.” I told him.
I heard him walking away. I wanted to cry more. Just leave already, for fuck sake. I want to let these tears out already.
Out of nowhere, I felt hands around me. “G-gorou, Miss Hina, whatever your real identity is! I’m sorry..”
What? “Y-you heard me earlier?”
“No. I’ve known, for the whole time! Ever since your first meet-and-greet, I forgot to ask for a book sign so I went back! I saw you with Yae.” His voice started to crack.
“Why.. why now?” I asked. “Where were you when I was crying as Gorou? Where were you when I needed you? You only like me as Miss Hina, don’t you?”
“Gorou..” I grabbed his hands that was wrapped around me and took it off.
“You don’t have to force yourself,” I told him. “I’m just a man, Itto. Miss Hina’s the one you want.”
“You’re wrong..” He leaned his forehead against mine. “I was always waiting for you outside your cabin. At night, they told me that I can’t enter as Ms. Kokomi doesn’t allow me in. She told me that she’ll fire you as general if I ever dared to ask about you again.”
Kokomi..? She wouldn’t do that. She even told me that our relationship mustn’t endanger our work. Although, who am I to say that? People do the most craziest thing in love.
“I keep looking for you. Why didn’t you come when I was alone?” I wanted to hold his hand yet I was hesitant.
He laughed. “I-i thought you and Kokomi were a thing. I didn’t want to be a home wrecker so I left. Gorou, you know I can’t be friends with someone I like.”
“But you said you weren’t capable to fall in love.” How many lies will he tell me.
“You were asking of Miss Hina. I’m not capable of loving.. someone else that’s not you.” He held my hand.
“Itto..” I wanted to be with him. “Please, never leave again.”
“I’m sorry, Gorou. You must continue your service as a general.” He cried out. “Go and serve Watatsumi Island, I’ll continue to find my blue oni.”
The world stopped when he suddenly held my face as he leaned down on me to kiss me.
“I’m sorry, my General. Maybe in some other universe that I’m not an oni, maybe I’ll finally be able to be yours.” He hug me tighter as I cried.
“Find a way, please. Find a way to love me in this universe of ours,” I hugged him back.
[END]