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Father’s Day is usually stressful for Asher, who never has any money and only okay art skills, but this year he’s got two dads to get something for, so he’s definitely more stressed out than ever. And not only that, but one of his dads — the newest one — was his teacher, and teachers already deserve the best presents ever. At least school’s already over for the year, so if he doesn’t get Mr. Way the best present ever then he won’t give him bad grades on his report card.
But that’s stupid. Mr. Way never gave anyone bad grades. Asher’s not sure he even knows how. Miss Wright sure did, though. Really Asher just wants to get Mr. Way something super cool because … well, because he’s his new dad. And he is cool, and he was Asher’s favorite teacher of all time. If only he didn’t forget all about Father’s Day until a few days before it.
Asher has a plan, though. Just like he always does. Dad says he’s a procrastinator, but Asher always gets the job done, so who’s the real procrastinator? Exactly. It’s Dad.
When Asher remembered about Father’s Day (which was in the middle of dinner when they were watching TV and a commercial came on for Target talking about how you can’t forget to get your dad a present), he got up from the couch and ran into the kitchen to look at the calendar on Mr. Way’s fridge. It was Wednesday, and Father’s Day was on Sunday. He only had four days to come up with The Best Present Ever.
“Ash, your dinner’s getting cold! Come on, bud!” Dad called while Asher was counting on his fingers.
“Mitch is looking mighty hungry!” Mr. Way called after him, and Asher ran back into the living room because he didn’t feel like sharing his dinner with the cats.
It’s Thursday now, and Asher woke up before Dad is supposed to come and get him up for breakfast. He pulls his notebook out from under his pillow and looks at the list he made last night. It’s a to-do list. Asher loves making lists. Dad thinks it’s funny, but Mr. Way says it’s handy. That’s another reason why Asher wants to get him the best present ever.
Okay, the list. The first thing Asher has written is Write A List. That makes him giggle, but he thinks it’s a good idea. Last year his teacher, Mrs. Hrick, made his class write a list of all their favorite things about their dads for Father’s Day. School ended way before Father’s Day this year, so Mr. Way didn’t have them do anything for it, but Asher thinks maybe he’ll write a list of all the things he likes about Mr. Way. He’s pretty sure Dad still has his list from last year somewhere.
The second thing Asher has written on his list is something he came up with way after he was supposed to be asleep. It says Give Mr. Way Leia. Leia is Princess Leia, and Asher has an action figure of her that’s super old that Dad tacked to his bedroom wall back at their old apartment. Uncle Ray bought it for him at an antique store a long time ago, and he told him it was worth a lot of money so Dad never let him take it out of the package, but Asher’s not sure what the point of having an action figure is if he can’t play with it. So he wants to give it to Mr. Way, since he has a ton of action figures in packages tacked to the wall of the living room that used to be tacked to the wall of his library/office before it got turned into Asher’s room. He thinks Leia would fit in nicely.
That’s all Asher has written for now, but he’s sure he’ll come up with more later. He hopes Mr. Way doesn’t mind that the best present ever is going to be a bunch of smaller presents, because that’s the best he can do.
His bedroom door creaks open and Dad sticks his head in. “Morning, bud,” he whispers. “You’re up early.”
Asher bounces out of bed, scaring Lotion who snuck into the room between Dad’s feet. “Dad, can I ask you a question?”
“Maybe after you say morning back.”
“Morning back. Can I ask you something?”
Dad rolls his eyes like he does all the time at Asher and pulls him in for a hug by the back of his neck. He kisses his head and says, “Shoot. Unless you’re gonna ask me where babies come from, because I still don’t know the answer to that one.”
Asher scrunches his nose up. “No. What’s the best present ever?”
“The best present ever? Geez, Ash, I think it depends on who the present’s for.” Dad gasps kiddingly, scaring Mitch now, who was sniffing around Asher’s bed. “Is it a Father’s Day present for me?”
Oh. Asher almost forgot that Mr. Way isn’t the only person he’s supposed to get a present for. How do people with two moms and two dads remember all this? “Um,” he says, and Dad laughs.
“Why don’t we go to Acme after I finish work so we can pick out a card for Gerard? I’m sure Uncle Ray’ll let us use his employee discount.”
Since school ended, Dad’s started calling Mr. Way by his name, but Asher’s always been told that there are two people you should never call by their first name because it’s inappropriate: his parents, and his teachers. Mr. Way is both, so Asher doesn’t think he’ll ever call him anything other than Mr. Way.
“Just a card?” There’s no way that could be the best present ever for him.
Dad laughs and messes up his hair. “It’s a start.”
Asher’s left with Mr. Way when Dad goes to work, like he usually is since summer vacation started, and after breakfast he tells Asher to get dressed. Asher puts on his PAW Patrol shirt and dinosaur shorts and his flip-flops that Dad doesn’t like him wearing when they go places ever since that time Asher stepped on a rusty nail that almost went all the way through his flip-flop. Asher likes hanging out with Mr. Way because he doesn’t put out Asher’s clothes for him to wear like Dad does. Dad would make him wear socks and his hat and probably one of those gross bug bite bracelets that he wears when he goes to camp.
“Where are we going?” Asher asks from the backseat of Mr. Way’s car after they leave his house. Well, technically it’s their house now, but Asher’s never lived in a house before, so he’s still getting used to it.
“Have you ever been to Hallmark?”
“Like the TV channel? Gramme likes to watch those movies sometimes, but I don’t. There’s too much kissing in them.”
Mr. Way laughs and looks at him through the mirror on the window. “Well, yeah, like the channel, but it’s a store. They sell greeting cards and Christmas tree ornaments and fun stuff like that.”
“Did the store come before the channel?”
“I think so, honey.”
Hallmark turns out to be a very small store, with a lot of cards, but there’s a bunch of cool toys and Christmas tree ornaments like Mr. Way said, too. Asher looks through a basket of little stuffed Disney characters on the floor while Mr. Way reads a bunch of mushy cards with his glasses on and talks to the lady that works there. When he finds one, he calls Asher over and tells him to pick a card out for Dad.
“Gramme usually takes me to buy a card for Dad. And for Pop-Pop.”
“She’s not going to be mad I took you, is she?” Mr. Way asks.
“No, she likes you,” Asher tells him, and Mr. Way’s face goes red like it usually does.
Asher ends up picking out a card for Dad with Jason from Friday the 13th on it, which makes Mr. Way snort like a pig. They bring their cards up to the counter where Mr. Way lets Asher grab a chocolate bar in a fancy wrapper for himself. The lady that was talking to Mr. Way comes out from a room in the back and smiles at Asher when she gets behind the counter.
“Is this your son?” she asks Mr. Way. “He looks so much like you!”
Asher giggles and Mr. Way’s eyes go big and round in surprise, but he doesn’t tell the lady that Asher isn’t supposed to look like him, he just goes red again and says thank you. People say all the time that Asher looks like his dad, too. He thinks that’s funny.
Back in the car, when Asher’s eating his chocolate bar and trying to keep it off of his clothes, he says, “Oh, farts.”
Mr. Way laughs. “What’s the matter? Did you get it on you already?”
“No, I should’ve gotten Dad a present at the Hallmark store!”
“Do you wanna go back?”
Asher looks at the bag of cards on his lap and figures he still has time to get something for Dad, after he finishes putting Mr. Way’s present together. That’s the most important one because it’s Mr. Way’s first Father’s Day and his dad has already gotten, like, a million of them. “No, I think a card is good for now.”
“Don’t forget to fill it out. Your dad said you’re notorious for that.”
“What does that mean?”
Mr. Way smiles the way he does before he starts a big lesson, and Asher wishes he never asked.
Asher just finished helping Mr. Way cook dinner when Dad gets home from work. He kisses Asher and Mr. Way on their lips and says hello, then gives Mr. Way another grosser kiss on his lips that makes Asher cover his eyes. They eat their dinner in the living room while Dad flips between the weather channel and Cartoon Network, and afterwards, while Mr. Way is giving Mitch and Lotion their dinner, Dad tells Asher they’re going to Acme.
“You need anything?” he asks Mr. Way, kissing him again. Sheesh, they kiss a lot. “Want me to grab a bag of those chips you liked?”
“No, no, I’m good, honey. I love you. Just tell Ray if you see him to tell Mikey to answer my texts.”
“Okay,” Dad laughs. “Love you more, handsome. C’mon, Ash, get your shoes on.”
When they get to Acme, the first place Dad takes Asher is to the chip aisle. He picks out a bag of those chicken-and-waffle-flavored chips Asher picked out for Mr. Way a few days ago that he really liked and gives it to Asher to hold.
“I thought Mr. Way said he doesn’t want these chips?”
Dad drops his hand on the top of Asher’s head and steers him out of the chip aisle. “Asher, my boy, when you’re a grown up, you’ll find that when your significant other says they don’t want something, it usually means they do want it but they’re too polite to ask.”
“Huh?”
“You’ll understand when you’re older.”
Asher shakes his dad’s hand off his head. “I hate it when you say that.”
“Yeah, I did, too. Let’s go pick out a nice card and then go say hi to Uncle Ray.”
When they get to the card aisle, Asher picks out a Star Wars card and a sheet of cat stickers and has to wait for Dad while he reads a bunch of those gross mushy cards Mr. Way was reading at the Hallmark store. When he finally picks one, he gives it to Asher to hold too.
“Gram called today and said she’ll pick you up in the morning so you can grab cards for Pop, alright? And for your old man. Can’t forget about him.”
Asher rolls his eyes right back at Dad. Maybe that’s why people say they look alike.
The next day, before Gramme comes to pick him up, Asher fills out Mr. Way’s card and puts it under his bed with his dusty Princess Leia action figure and the list of favorite things that he hasn’t filled out yet. He’ll do it when he gets home, though. He promises. He writes one more thing on his Father’s Day to-do list before he leaves with Gramme, and it’s Learn More Sign Language. Mr. Way really liked when Asher talked in sign language to him on Valentine’s Day, and him and Dad have been using it a lot together and it makes Asher feel left out sometimes, so he thinks maybe that could be a really cool part of his best present ever. Plus Asher likes learning other languages. He always got A’s in Spanish.
When Asher gets home later, after having a whole bunch of ice cream with Gramme and too full to eat lunch because of it, he writes down half of his list of favorite things about Mr. Way and asks Dad if he can go on the iPad. Luckily he says Asher can, but only for an hour, so while Dad is putting new strings on a violin he brought home from his job and Mr. Way is on the phone with Uncle Mikey, Asher Googles a bunch of different words in sign language and practices them until dinner time. While he eats on the couch, he practices them in his brain, and he hopes he remembers them all on Sunday like he did for Valentine’s Day.
Later that night, when Dad and Mr. Way are asleep in their bedroom across the hallway, Asher fills out the rest of his favorite things list with the help of a flashlight. At the top of the paper he wrote My Favorite Things About Mr. Way , and underneath that he writes some things like 1. The way he wears beanies and 7. His favorite Star Wars movie is Return of the Jedi and 15. Mitch and Lotion and 21. He’s the best teacher ever.
When he’s finished with the list, Asher really has to pee, so he sneaks out of his room to go to the bathroom. When he’s done and his hands smell like soap, he’s about to sneak back to bed when suddenly he hears his Dad’s voice. He tiptoes over to his and Mr. Way’s bedroom and squints into the crack in the door. Asher can’t see anything in the dark, but he can hear Mr. Way say, “I thought he was gonna stop when the school year ended, you know?”
Asher’s heart starts beating really hard when he realizes Dad and Mr. Way are talking about him. He stands really still so they don’t know he’s there.
“That’s why I’ve been calling you Gerard when I talk to him,” Dad says. “But it’s hard to break a habit. He was calling you Mr. Way for, like, eight months. That’s all he’s known you as, baby.”
“Yeah, that’s true. It just sounds so formal. It makes me laugh sometimes, but also … I don’t know.”
Super quietly, Dad says, “Do you want him to call you Dad, too?”
Mr. Way doesn’t say anything, and Asher thinks maybe he fell asleep, but then he says, “You wouldn’t mind?”
“G, oh my God, why the hell would I mind?”
“You were his dad first! I’m not the one who got him out of a claw machine.”
Dad laughs and Mr. Way tries to shush him. Dad says, “You can be Dad too. Unless you wanna be Papa.”
“Absolutely not, that makes me sound like a little old Italian man.”
“What about Mom?”
“Is that a serious question?”
“ … Do you want it to be?”
Another quiet second, then Mr. Way says, “Do you know how many of my kids have accidentally called me Mom?”
Asher remembers, then, that one time in class when Chanise called Mr. Way Mom and Mr. Way told them that they could call him Mom or Dad whenever they wanted, that he didn’t mind. Asher thinks that was when he first realized just how much he liked Mr. Way.
“And how does that make you feel, Gerard?”
Mr. Way laughs like Dad did. “Shut up, you. I’m too old to unpack something like that. I came out when I was sixteen, I don’t feel like doing it again.”
Mitch appears at Asher’s feet then and lets out a super loud meow, and Asher runs back to bed so he isn’t caught eavesdropping.
When he gets back into his bedroom, Asher pulls out his to-do list and writes Call Mr. Way Dad.
Saturday. The day before Father’s Day. Asher makes sure he has everything together under his bed and, when he does, spends the day bumming with Mr. Way. Bumming is a funny word, but it’s what Mr. Way calls driving around with no — what’s the word — objective. They hang out at the library for a while and then get lunch at Subway, then they go to a bunch of garage sales at old people’s houses where Mr. Way buys a bunch of weird-smelling comic books and VHS tapes. Asher gets a Teddy bear whose head is falling off and a game for his Nintendo DS. Mr. Way also gets Dad a pile of vinyl records with people on them that Asher’s never seen before, and they smell weird too.
A bunch of packages from Amazon and stuff is sitting at the top of the stairs when they get home, and Asher helps carry them inside. When he’s about to open one of the boxes with a pen he had in his pocket, Mr. Way holds out his hands and says, “Hold on, those aren’t for you!”
Asher drops the pen and Mitch jumps at it. “Who are they for?” he asks, trying not to sound too disappointed. The box in his hands is small and doesn’t have anything written on it, not even that Amazon smile. Now he really wants to open it.
“They’re for your dad,” Mr. Way says, taking the weird, naked box from Asher. His cheeks are red again. “I’ll open them later.”
“Why can’t we open them together? I’m really fast at opening boxes!”
“Because they’re for your dad,” Mr. Way says again. He starts piling all the packages up in his arms. “Some of them are private, honey. You don’t read other people’s mail, do you?”
Asher wants to ask what he means by that, but Mr. Way leaves with all the packages before he can. Huh. Oh well. Asher has things to do anyway, like make sure he has Mr. Way’s Best Present Ever all together.
Before Mr. Way comes back out from his bedroom, Asher runs into his room and shuts the door, where he goes under his bed and gets everything. He sets it all out on his bed. The list, the card, the stickers, Princess Leia, calling Mr. Way Dad, the sign language that’s in his head … Is that enough? Asher looks around his room, thinking about what else he could give Mr. Way.
There’s a knock on the door, and Asher cracks it open enough to see through. Mr. Way is standing in the hallway. “I’m sorry, Ash. I just ordered some, uh, special clothes for your dad. And they’re a surprise, you know? I hope I wasn’t mean.”
Asher actually laughs, and Mr. Way’s eyebrows go up. “You’re never mean, Mr. Way! You’re the nicest person I know!”
Mr. Way does one of those lopsided smiles and leans down to give Asher a hug. Asher hugs him back as hard as he can. He likes how soft Mr. Way is. “You’re such a good kid, I love you. Is that okay to say?”
“Why wouldn’t it be? I love you too.”
Mr. Way rubs his thumb over Asher’s cheek and says, “Okay, good, because I love you and your dad very much.”
When Mr. Way finally goes away and Asher gets to shut his door again, he runs over to his desk where he grabs a pen and writes on his My Favorite Things About Mr. Way list 28. He loves me and my dad a lot. And then he goes to his dresser, where he pulls all of his drawers open and opens his closet door. Mr. Way said he got Dad some clothes, so that’s what Asher’s gonna do too.
He eventually pulls out his favorite T-shirt, which is a Planet of the Apes shirt Uncle Ray’s brother got him for his birthday or something. He doesn’t remember, but he loves the shirt a lot, so he definitely wants Mr. Way to have it. He adds that to his pile of gifts. Then he writes in the card he got at Acme and puts it all back under his bed so it’s ready for tomorrow.
Maybe Father’s Day isn’t so hard after all.
Asher wakes up before everyone on Sunday, which usually never happens unless he has to pee, so he takes advantage of it. After he (successfully) feeds Mitch and Lotion, he makes up three bowls of cereal — Honey Bunches of Oats for Mr. Way since they only sell Monster Cereal at Halloween, Cap’n Crunch for Dad, and Cookie Crisp for Asher — and carries them one by one into Dad and Mr. Way’s bedroom, setting his next to the TV on the dresser, and his dads’ on each of their nightstands. Then, with Mitch and Lotion following him because they always like to help, Asher carries all the presents from his room to Dad and Mr. Way’s and arranges them all on the foot of the bed like Dad sometimes does for his birthday and stuff. And then Asher waits.
He stands next to the bed eating his cereal and staring at Dad and Mr. Way while they sleep. Mr. Way is snuggled up into Dad’s chest and Dad has his arm around him. It’s kind of gross, but they look pretty comfortable, so it’s fine. Finally Dad moves. He makes a sleepy kind of noise and starts brushing his fingers through Mr. Way’s longish hair. He hasn’t gotten a haircut in a long time so sometimes he puts his hair in a tiny ponytail. When Dad starts kissing Mr. Way, Asher giggles nervously and Dad stops.
“There’s a child amongst us,” he whispers loudly.
Mr. Way opens a single eye to peek at Asher. “A child eating cereal. And he comes bearing gifts, I think.”
“There’s cereal for you too!” Asher says, drinking the rest of his milk and putting his bowl back next to the TV. “And I even remembered to use the almond milk because you both get gassy.”
Dad and Mr. Way laugh loud enough to scare the cats away and Dad throws his pillow at Asher. Mr. Way reaches for his Honey Bunches of Oats and says, “Mm, soggy cereal.”
“Wait!” Asher climbs onto the bed and snuggles between them, which is his favorite spot. “You have to open your presents first.”
“The cereal is going to be even soggier.”
“Wow, bud, this is so nice of you,” Dad says, sitting up and looking through the presents. “Whose are whose?”
Asher hands his card to Dad and slides the rest over to Mr. Way. They both laugh again. “Cards first, like always,” Asher says.
“Well of course,” Mr. Way says. Him and Dad open their cards, and Dad laughs for the millionth time.
“Mine’s empty!” he says, and Asher smacks his hand against his forehead. He forgot!
Mr. Way’s face goes red and his eyes go shiny. “My card is filled out. And I got stickers.”
Asher hands Mr. Way the Planet of the Apes shirt first. “I got you this because you said you got Dad clothes for Father’s Day so I wanted to get you some. This is my favorite T-shirt, by the way. I hope you like it.”
Mr. Way holds the shirt against his chest, and it looks super small. He looks happy about it anyway. “I’m sure it’ll fit like a glove. Thank you, honey.”
Asher gives Mr. Way Leia next, and Mr. Way takes it carefully. “You’re not allowed to play with her, but you don’t play with any of your action figures so I figured you could tack her to the wall too. Maybe next to that Han Solo one you have.”
Dad kisses the top of Asher’s head. “That’s so thoughtful of you, Ash. Thank you, bud.”
“It’s not for you,” Asher laughs.
Mr. Way kisses him too. “I will treasure her forever.”
“You better.” He gives Mr. Way the list, and Mr. Way reads it out loud from the top to the bottom. When he gets to the last one, his voice gets all crackly.
“Number twenty-eight: He loves me and my dad a lot. Oh, honey, this is so sweet of you. It must’ve taken you forever … ”
Asher shrugs. “Not really. Okay — one last present. Sort of.”
He turns to Mr. Way, and after thinking for a second, he says with his hands in sign language, Hello. My name is Asher Iero. I love you. Have a good day. Thank you for your house. And then he says with his words, “Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I love you,” and he launches a hug at Mr. Way/Dad. He hugs Asher tighter than he’s ever hugged him before, but Asher doesn’t mind. He loves his new dad.
After they finish their hug, New Dad smacks a kiss to Asher’s cheek with tears eyes and Old Dad tugs him over for his own hug. “Sorry I forgot about you,” Asher says, smooshed.
Old Dad rubs his back. “That’s okay, baby. I’ve had seven Father’s Days already. Not counting the one Uncle Ray threw me before I got you.”
“I wanted to make Mr. Way’s — I mean Dad’s — first one really special so I tried to get him the best present ever.”
New Dad wipes his nose on the back of his hand and says, “You definitely did, honey. I can’t wait to celebrate a million more Father’s Days with you.”
Wow — a million? Asher can’t wait either. He thinks he’s gonna really like having two dads. It’s totally better than one.