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"Hey, there you are."
Nurse Chapel jumped at the sudden intrusion into her reverie, letting the data pad she had been loosely holding fall into her lap. Skittish blue eyes darted to nearby movement; she caught a bright blue drink hit the table and followed the concoction up to its owner - Ortegas.
The helmsman flashed one of her famous grins and pulled up a chair opposite, the loud scrape caught the attention of the few inhabitants of the mess hall. "So, I heard you took out a tonne of pirates single-handedly, that's some impressive stuff."
Christine flashed her friend a half-smile and shrugged half-heartedly. "Hmm." She wasn't exactly in a celebrating mood.
Erica was not easily distracted, the pilot leant forward onto the table whilst her head cocked in interest. "Oh come on, spill. I know you and Spock must have had fun running around the ship playing cowboy."
The fake smile Christine had managed to plaster on fell at the mention of Spock, she tried to cover the reaction by taking a sip of her cappuccino, which of course was stone cold. "I wouldn't say it was fun, Angel was a real psycho."
That was the understatement of the century.
The nurse didn't fancy delving any deeper into that territory so attempted a switch and bait, leaning forward eagerly to divert attention onto her friend. "What about your trip on the Serene Squall?"
When Erica got going, she rarely stopped to breathe, let alone deduce just how out of sorts Christine actually was. "I hear you guys started a full-on mutiny."
"Oh yeah, that was awesome."
Christine raised her eyebrows, inviting the helmsman to elaborate. Erica didn't disappoint.
"Like at first I thought the Captain must have been knocked around too much because they definitely did a number on him, but he was so proud that he'd managed to convince the pirate Captain to sell us to the Klingons. Then he and Number One had this crazy plan and I thought it wouldn't work at first but in fairness it was great."
Chapel's main goal was to get Erica to do most of the talking, and basically just nod along whilst she tried very hard not to think about what happened to her during the hijacking, even so, the mention of the Klingons caused her eyes to widen. Pike was bold.
Erica caught her look and she nodded in agreement. The young helmsman saluted the ceiling with a flourish. "Cheers to the Captain's crazy plans." Ortegas downed half of her drink in one gulp and began to shake her head. "It wasn't even his first mutiny apparently it's a thing he and Number One do."
Christine offered a bemused smile and her eyes lit with inner mischief. "Yeah, I can picture that."
It was her first genuine smile in hours. Despite her best efforts to remain passive in this conversation, Chapel found that Erica's charm had pulled her in, again.
Ortegas turned that brilliant grin her way, clocking the genuine reaction. "Hey, there she is. What's got you so worked up?"
Okay, so she hadn't fooled her friend at all. Damn it, she was like an open book right now.
"Nothing, I've just got a lot on." Chapel lied easily, picking up the data pad from her lap, "Doc's been keeping me busy."
"Hmm." Ortegas pursed her lips as she scrutinised her friend, ultimately finding her excuse lacking. "So it wouldn't have anything to do with Spock's girlfriend being on board?"
"Fiancé." It was an automatic correction, and one which she hoped would give her manoeuvring time. What she wouldn't give for a medical emergency right about now.
"Semantics." Erica waved off easily, her gaze zeroing in on her friend, like a shark about to leap towards its prey. "What's interesting here is you're avoiding the question."
Christine's throat closed up and it was suddenly a chore to wet her lips. Since when had her mouth been filled with sawdust? The only thing she could manage to do was hold the dreaded eye contact, even though it felt like Erica was looking straight through her.
The longer she was silent, the more Erica stared until eventually, she saw something that answered her question for her. The pilot gasped whilst her pupils narrowed, fleeing the expanding whites of her eyes. "Oh you didn't, what did I say about getting in the middle of a Vulcan relationship?!"
Chapel looked away hurriedly and squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the familiar sting behind her lids.
Not now. Please not now.
She heard Erica's chair scraping as she moved closer and suddenly they were hands holding hers, easing the trembling.
"Hey, I'm sorry."
Chapel sniffed and attempted to laugh the pain away, she opened her eyes to see Erica by her side - eyebrows knotted together with worry.
"It's not you," Christine began quietly, fighting to hold back the torrent that waited behind her walls. "It's just..."
She trailed off and took a breath, what the hell was she doing? Erica didn't need her to trauma dump, that wasn't fair. This was a mess she had created for herself.
Chapel shook her head and withdrew her hands from the other woman's grip, or at least she tried to. Erica threw her a warning glare and held on with a death grip.
"Nah ah, no way are you bottling this up." She squeezed her hands reassuringly, eyes fixed on her, forgetting everything else around them. "I'm here, you can talk to me."
The eye contact was steady and comforting, not invasive like she'd imagined. Christine didn't want to fall into that kindness but she couldn't help it. She felt like she was drowning.
Besides, Ortegas wasn't going to let her scamper away now, she literally had her claws in her arm. She made a split-second decision to trust in her friend, and so she told Ortegas everything.
"Spock kissed me in front of T'Pring, but it didn't mean anything."
Well, almost everything.
But I wanted it to.
Erica listened to the whole shit-show, her expression changing from concern to rage upon hearing Angel's ultimatum. By the time Christine had finished retelling the events on the bridge, the young helmsman was a seething mess of conflicting emotions. One part of her wanted to take a shuttle and chase after the rogue pirate, but the other wanted to offer a shoulder to cry on. It was a debate that could go either way.
"Damn..." Erica muttered, trailing off as she worked out who exactly she was going to hit for this.
Christine noted her friend's clenched fists, she covered them with her own and offered a lopsided smile. "It is what it is."
Ortegas simmered silently for a moment, and then in one deep breath, she released all of her negative emotions.
"T'Pring doesn't blame you does she?"
Chapel hadn't really thought much further ahead than her kiss with Spock, but she had to admit Erica had a valid point. What would T'Pring do to her? The idea made her spine crawl and she leaned back to hug herself comfortingly.
"I have no idea, I haven't gone anywhere near Spock's quarters."
Erica hummed. "Wise."
Christine kept her eyes downcast, hoping that her friend wouldn't twig to what was actually going on with her, but Erica was no fool.
"You like him don't you."
Startled blue eyes shot up, and the blonde's lips quivered as she confessed the truth. "Yes."
Ortegas looked to the ceiling and her face seemed to somersault through the full spectrum of human emotions. A few moments later she cleared her throat and looked back at her friend with a wince. The worst thing was that there was nothing but pity in her warm brown eyes.
"Can't you talk to him?" Erica suggested, shrugging her shoulders helplessly.
Chapel barked a laugh, leaning back in her chair with her arms crossed, the last shield she had left. "And say what? Hey, Spock I know you're engaged to be married and all, but I have a crush on you so wanna hook up?"
Ortegas winced and physically recoiled from the barb, but her hooded eyes continued to seek a way through her friend's meagre defences. "Is that what this is, just a crush?"
No.
"Yes."
Erica stared her down, looking for any sign of deception. It was a good job that Christine was a good liar.
"What else would it be?" The blonde-haired woman argued, forcing a tired smile on her face. "I barely know the guy."
In some ways, she felt as though she knew Spock better than anyone but she wasn't going to tell Erica that, that was crazy.
Erica frowned heavily and her eyebrows knitted together in thought. "So, this is just something that you'll get over?"
Definitely not.
"Absolutely."
She kept all of her inner thoughts away from her friend, her arms remained crossed over her chest, closing off what little control she had left.
Christine had kissed a fair amount of guys and gals in her life, but none of those could hold a torch up to what happened between her and Spock on the bridge. For something that was inherently fake... Nothing had ever felt more real. She usually ran from feelings whenever they sprang up, so why was she so desperate to run towards this guaranteed heartache?
Ortegas rubbed the back of her neck and squinted as she looked inwards. She was weighing up what Chapel had told her. Suddenly, the young pilot uncrossed her arms and leant forward earnestly. "Just be-"
"Nurse Chapel, report to sickbay."
Whatever Erica had been about to say was drowned out by the overhead speakers, Doctor M'Benga's steady voice was like a lifering being tossed out into these stormy waters. Chapel jumped for the ring without a second thought.
"Duty calls." She sprang to her feet, gathered up her pad and knocked back the rest of her cappuccino, forgetting it was already stone cold.
Erica blinked in surprise as she watched the flurry of movements, breaking the deep moment they had just been in.
Chapel plastered on what she constituted a cheery smile and gripped her friend's shoulder. "Thanks for letting me unload, I feel so much lighter now."
She hadn't felt this weighed down since leaving Earth.
Ortegas glanced at the hand on her shoulder and she eased up in her chair, nodding at the changes she saw. "No worries, we can chat more later if you want?"
Christine could think of nothing worse, she needed to get this lovesick feeling locked down.
"Sure." She replied brightly, already making a move towards the door. "Although I have a feeling the Doc is gonna keep me pretty busy."
Erica grinned, the lightness back between them. "You work way too hard."
"Tell me about it." Chapel laughed easily.
She waved her friend goodbye and sped out of the mess hall like a scarpering rabbit, her bright smile remained fixed firmly in place until she was in the privacy of an empty turbo-lift.
The young nurse slumped against the side of the lift and looked to the illuminated ceiling.
"What am I going to do?"
The only answer was the soft thrum of the turbo lift flying through the ship. Besides the mechanical whir, it was just silence.