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They’ve been driving for a few hours when Jason takes a moment to check on Tim. Tim is silent, his eyes shut, his face peaceful. He’s got his head pillowed against the blanket Jason stuffed between his face and the window of the car. Jason doesn’t mind the silence. It’s a long trip, but the destination will be worth it. There will be plenty of time for talking later.
When he figures he’s only got an hour of driving left in him, he finds a motel. It’s nothing fancy, certainly not worthy of Timothy Drake-Wayne, but it’ll do. He leaves Tim in the car to go check in, then carries him into their room. Tim doesn’t stir.
There’s only one bed, which suits his purposes just fine. He lays Tim down, taking off his shoes, before tucking him into bed.
He’s resting, Jason thinks fondly. Tim never rests. Well, it’s not like he’s got much of a choice in the matter, but still. It’s a comforting image.
Jason crawls into bed, pulling Tim close, letting his head rest on Jason’s chest.
It’s the first day of the rest of our lives, he thinks a little wildly. But he doesn’t let his thoughts spiral. There will be plenty of time for that later. He won’t let himself regret his choice. When it comes down to it, he will always choose Tim.
“Hey,” Red Robin says, landing lightly behind him. “I come bearing gifts.”
Indeed, he’s carrying two chili dogs from Jason’s favorite vendor. It’s a thing between them. Tim will find him on patrol, offer him food, and ask for his help on a case. Jason suspects he doesn’t actually need the help, but he can’t think of any other reason his replacement would seek him out. They’re not exactly friends, not after all that Jason’s done.
Jason rolls his eyes. “What do you need now, replacement?”
“Always right down to business, Hood. C’mon, sit with me. I swung all the way over here just for you.”
Jason rolls his eyes again, but complies, unlocking his helmet and setting it aside. Tim pulls back his cowl, leaving him in only the mask he wears underneath. They sit together, legs dangling over the edge of the building they’re on top of.
Tim takes an obscene bite of his chili dog, his mouth closing sinfully around his food. He actually moans in pleasure, and Jason– Jason’s not quite sure how to deal with that. He watches the delicate column of Tim’s throat as he swallows, follows his tongue as it flits out to capture some leftover sauce. He takes a bite of his own chili dog, just to have something else to focus on. He can feel his face heating up. There’s a reason he wears a full-face helmet, after all.
“So what do you need from me?”
Tim is quiet for a moment, his gaze considering. “I need info about the new drug runner who’s been operating near your territory.”
“Valdez. Why, is he looking to expand?”
“Not into your territory, he’s not that stupid. But yes, and I want to stop him before he can build up the capital." He takes another obscene bite. “Mmmmm.”
Jason swallows hard and looks away. “I’ll send you the file I have on him.”
“Thanks Jay. I appreciate it," Tim says, smiling at him.
“No problem," Jason says, taking another bite of his chili dog. There’s silence for a few moments as they both eat.
“Jason, what are we doing here?”
Jason looks at him, bemused. “You tell me, babybird. You’re the one who keeps showing up.”
“You’ve never sent me away.”
“Was I supposed to?”
Tim sighs. “Jason. I am practically fellating this chili dog in an attempt to get you to notice me. This is me, desperately trying to figure out if you’re into me or if you’re just being nice.”
Jason freezes with his eyes on his chili dog. Slowly, he turns to meet Tim’s eye. He can feel the weight of his gaze through the mask. “I’m pretty sure I’m never nice.”
“You can be plenty nice when you want to be," Tim says, and when did he get so close?
Jason licks his lips. “So what’s the verdict?”
Tim smiles. “I’m pretty sure you like me.”
“Yeah?”
Tim moves closer, until his breath ghosts over Jason’s face. “Yeah," he says, and closes the gap between them.
“Jason?” Jason doesn’t startle at the sound of his name. He’d heard the telltale rush of air that accompanies a speedster– or a super.
“Hey Kon. What’s up?” Jason asks, turning to face him. They’re at a deserted rest station. Jason’s just glad Kon showed up when he wasn’t in the car with Tim.
“Do you know where Tim is? We were supposed to hang out today, but he never showed." Jason curses himself for not thinking to clear Tim’s social calendar before they left. He’d told the Bats they’d be underground for a while, and trusted them to handle the rest of it. “I was kind of hoping he was with you.”
“No, he’s not with me," Jason lies. “He’s underground for a mission.”
“Oh. It’s just… I can’t hear him. Like, at all, not even his heartbeat," Kon says, and it’s clear in his voice how much he cares for Tim. It both warms Jason’s heart and strengthens his resolve. This road trip is for Tim, after all.
“You know Tim," Jason shrugs. “He has ways around that shit. That, or he’s not on Earth.”
“Yeah, it’s just he usually calls if something comes up," Kon says, his mouth twisted in an unhappy frown.
“You know how he gets when he’s caught up in a case," Jason says. “He shuts the whole world out.”
“Yeah, you’re right. If he told you about it, then he’s probably fine," he says, but he doesn’t sound convinced. “I just wished he’d have mentioned it if he found a way to hide his heartbeat.”
“He probably would have today if he hadn’t gotten caught up in his case.” They share a wry smile, as only two people who know and love Tim Drake could.
“I’ll remind him to call you,” Jason says, “if I speak to him before you do.”
“Thanks man, I appreciate it. But... you think he’s okay, right?”
“If you can’t hear his heartbeat, he’s either hiding it from you or off world for the mission. Knowing Tim, and the paranoid bastard who trained him, which do you think is more likely?” Jason asks, raising a brow.
“I mean, he could be locked in a weird space prison again," Kon points out.
“If he needed help, he would have sent out his distress beacon," Jason says. “Or hacked his way out. That’s what he did last time.”
“Yeah, fair enough. It’s probably all fine. I’m just being paranoid.”
“Probably," Jason says. “But you’re his best friend. It’s not like he wouldn’t do the same for you.”
“Yeah, he would," Kon says with a smile. He turns to go, then turns back. “By the way, what are you doing out here? It’s kind of in the middle of nowhere.”
Jason grins at him. “Road trip.”
They’re curled up together on the couch in one of Jason’s safe houses when Tim says “I think we should tell the others.”
Jason stiffens in his arms, and Tim pulls him closer. “They’re going to find out eventually, if they haven’t already. I want to tell them. I’m not ashamed of you, Jason. You’re not my dirty little secret.”
That’s exactly how Jason has felt, in between marveling at the fact that Tim wants him at all and that somehow, Jason gets to keep him. Of course Tim had noticed. He was trained by the world’s greatest detective, after all.
“You sure about that? I’m pretty filthy.”
As per usual, Tim sees right through him. “Jason. They’re not gonna care beyond wanting us to be happy. I mean Dick’s gonna freak out a bit because we’re both his younger brothers, and Bruce is gonna get that constipated look on his face that he always gets when he’s having an emotion, but they love us. They want us to be happy, and you make me so happy, Jay. And… I hope I do the same for you.”
“As if that’s even a fuckin’ question," Jason says, tightening his hold on Tim. As if Tim isn’t the best fucking thing that ever happened to him.
But telling the others…
Jason doesn’t wanna deal with the fallout when he fucks this up. Sue him, he’s a coward. But he just got his family back, and he knows whose side they’ll be on when it all ends. And Tim will deserve their support, because Jason knows it’ll be him who ruins things. He always does.
“You’re doing that thing where you act like I’m perfect and you’re going to ruin me, and I wish you wouldn’t.”
“Jesus babybird, give a man some privacy in his own head, would ya?”
“I will when you stop putting me on a pedestal. I’m not perfect, Jason.”
“You could burn water, I’m well aware of that.”
“You evaporate the soup one time–“
Jason laughs, and Tim smiles. “I can’t believe you actually evaporated soup.”
“One of my many imperfections," Tim says, poking him in the side.
“You’re the only guy I know who goes fishing for insults instead of compliments.”
“I get plenty of people fawning over me as Tim Wayne. What I have with you is real. I… I want so badly for this to be real.”
“And being real requires telling people?”
“It requires not keeping this a secret. And it requires you seeing me as I am, not as some imagined ideal version of me.”
They sit together in silence. Tim’s gotten pretty good at knowing when Jason needs a minute to process.
“Yeah, okay. I think I can handle that. I still think it’s my right as your boyfriend to think you’re the best thing since sliced bread, but I see what you mean about putting you on a pedestal. You’re not perfect, just perfect for me.”
“You’re such a sap," Tim says, grinning into Jason’s shoulder.
“Yeah, yeah. But I’m your fuckin’ sap.”
“For as long as you’ll have me.”
Guess that means forever, Jason thinks but doesn’t say.
“Do you remember the first time we kissed? God, I was so fucking mad at you. Course half of that was cause I wanted to fuck your brains out, but I was refusing to fucking admit it," Jason says. Tim doesn’t reply, but Jason doesn’t mind. They’ll have all the time in the world to talk.
“I was so fucking shocked when you kissed me. I never thought you’d want me like that, not in a million years. Shut me the hell up long enough to make your point though, you sneaky little shit. Always killing two birds with one stone.”
Jason isn’t sure if he’s imagining the small smile on Tim’s face or not, but it’s enough that Tim is here.
“I remember I was quiet so long you tried to fucking rabbit, so I grabbed your arm and made you stay. I could tell you were freaking out, but I needed time to sort my thoughts out, and I knew if I let you go I would have never found you again. So when I finally got my shit together, I reamed you out for being such a self-sacrificing little shit. Then I kissed the hell out of you because I was too surprised to do it right the first time.”
Jason glances at Tim, sitting quietly in the passenger seat.
“Even then, I knew this was the best I was ever gonna get. There’s no moving on from you.”
Jason kicks off his shoes and shrugs off his jacket as he enters the Nest. It still gives him a little thrill that he has a key to Tim’s place, this home that he built himself from scratch.
The table is set with chinaware Jason recognizes from the Manor. It’s a set he’d always liked, so it had come into regular use when he lived there. The food smells delicious, and there are candles burning on the table.
“What’s all this?” Jason asks.
“I know you like grand romantic gestures, and I thought you deserved one of your own. Happy anniversary, Jay," Tim says, holding out a bouquet of red roses.
Jason takes the flowers in disbelief, staring at them. “I haven’t been keeping track," he says hoarsely. “I didn’t think…”
“That we’d get to this point?” Tim finishes. “Yeah, I kinda figured. That’s okay, it means I got to surprise you.”
“No. Fuck, I said I’d stop doing this, acting like what we got isn’t permanent because…”
“Because I’m a prissy rich boy and you’re just a street rat?” Tim suggests, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, that about covers it," Jason sighs. It’s not the full story– it doesn’t cover the fact that Tim is inarguably good while Jason’s hands are stained with blood– but it gets to the root of it. Jason thinks Tim is too good for him. “I can’t believe I forgot our fuckin’ anniversary.”
“If you hadn’t, I never would have been able to pull this off. You’re too romantic. This is the one anniversary where I beat you to the punch, let me have this.”
(‘The one anniversary,’ Tim had said. Implying that there would be more than one. Possibly several. Jason knows that Tim likes him. Knows that he’s accounted for in all Tim's future plans. But to hear it in those words, a future mapped out for the both of them…)
“I love you so much.”
“Jay, really?” Tim looks at him, wide-eyed, and Jason realizes it’s the first time he’s said it out loud.
He swallows. “Yeah, really. So goddamn much it hurts.”
Tim breaks out in a thousand-watt smile. “I love you too, Jason. More than anything.”
They stand there, grinning like idiots until the oven chiming knocks them out of their stupor. “That’s the chicken. I made all of your favorites.”
Jason lets out a low whistle. “You cooked? Damn babybird, that’s how I know you really like me.”
Tim laughs. “I had Alfred teach me how. I’ve been responsible for more than a few of the dinners at the Manor recently," he says, grinning sheepishly.
“Well if it’s Alfred approved I know it’ll be good," Jason says jokingly. “You didn’t have to go to all that trouble. You could have just ordered takeout.”
He follows Tim into the kitchen, where he takes the chicken out of the oven. It smells divine.
“It’s not trouble, not when it’s for you," Tim says stubbornly. “You’re worth doing hard things for.”
And isn’t that something. Jason hasn’t felt worth it in a long time, maybe not since before he died. He feels worth it now.
He sets the flowers aside and reels Tim in for a kiss. “Happy anniversary, babe.”
Tim smiles softly at him. “Happy anniversary, Jay.”
The night before they reach their destination, Jason carries Tim into another no-name motel, cradling his head against his chest. As he gets Tim ready for bed, the sleeves of his sweater slip up, revealing the bruising on his wrists. Jason hisses, and pulls the sleeve down. Normally a few bruises wouldn’t bother him, but right now they’re more than he can take. He’s sick and tired of this stupid trip. He just wants to be home in his bed with his boyfriend. He breathes deeply, trying to calm himself.
Even after this trip is over, it will probably be a while before they return to Gotham. Jason’s got a safe house not too far from their destination set and ready to go, courtesy of Roy, who had done as he’d asked and not asked questions.
Roy probably wouldn’t approve of this little road trip, but he’d understand why Jason has to do it.
Once he’s calmed down enough, he finishes taking Tim’s shoes off and gets himself ready for bed. He changes into sweats and a tank top and holds Tim close. Tim is stiff and unyielding in his arms.
This whole damn thing is fucked up. Jason is aware of that. But it will be over soon, for better or for worse. Hopefully for better, but frankly, he’ll take worse. No matter what happens, it can’t get any worse than it already is.
There are many awful realities Jason could accept. Some of them he’s already lived through. But he won’t live without Tim.
It’s been a long, hard night. This case has been a nightmare from the start, even with the two of them working together. Finding out that it had all been a setup by the Council of Spiders to get to Tim was not fun. He’s in for a hell of a time convincing Tim that those people’s deaths are not his fault.
But that can come later. Right now his focus is on trying to survive. The Council has grown since Tim last fought them, and even between the two of them they are vastly outnumbered.
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Tim block a hit with his wrist. Even with his reinforced gauntlets, that’s probably going to bruise.
Jason dodges another blow, and seriously considers switching to live rounds. He doesn’t kill these days, but he does still carry them around for emergencies. They’re useful for kneecapping his opponents every now and then. He decides now is a good time to switch and ducks out of the way to reload his gun.
He doesn’t see the hit that ends Tim’s life. But he hears it, and he knows the sound will haunt his nightmares for as long as he lives. The horrible shlick of the sword as it runs him through.
He turns in horror to see the assassin pull the blade out of Tim’s chest. His world goes green.
It doesn’t feel like very much later that he comes back to himself, alone in a room of dead bodies. He stumbles over to Tim and stares down at him uncomprehendingly.
He has a ring. Tim has taken all the first steps in their relationship. He made the first move. He’s the one who made it official they were dating, not just “seeing each other." He’d asked to move in together. Jason had said I love you first, but that had been an accident, it had just slipped out. He wanted to take the next first step, on purpose this time. Show Tim how much he fucking loves him.
He’ll never get the chance.
Green eats at the edges of his vision, and he doesn’t try to fight it. He allows it to settle over him, because rage is so much better than the crushing grief that awaits him. Tim is gone and he’s never coming back.
Unless…
Tim wouldn’t want him to do it. Tim would probably beg him not to. But Tim isn’t here right now. Jason is. Jason and the green green green that is the only thing keeping him from collapsing and never getting back up.
Jason makes a plan.
As Jason suspected, this place was spared Tim’s rampage when he took down the League a few years ago. The terrain doesn’t really allow for a full base to be constructed. And this place is off the books, strictly word of mouth. Unless someone high up specifically told him, Tim would have no way of knowing about it. But Jason does.
He’s wearing his full Red Hood gear. It’s still stained with blood, some of it the assassins, most of it Tim’s. It feels fitting somehow, to be walking into this wearing Tim’s blood. Or maybe Jason’s just morbid.
He puts Tim in a fireman’s carry and makes his way towards the Pit.
“You're sure that’s all you need me to do?” Klarion asks nervously. “Just… preserve the body?”
“I can handle the rest of it," Jason says, a facade of calm. “I just need to get the b– to get Tim there. Preferably without him decomposing on me.”
“And… he’ll be alright?” Jason can tell Klarion is uncomfortable being in the room with Tim’s body. His eyes keep flicking to it.
“He’ll be just fine.” It’s a lie, but Klarion clearly doesn’t know jack shit about the Lazarus Pits or Jason’s history with them, because he doesn’t call him on it.
“Okay.” Klarion nods to himself. “Okay, I can do that. Just make sure Tim knows he owes me one. This is way bigger than cat-sitting Teekl.”
“I will," Jason lies smoothly. Tim will probably be in no shape to owe anyone anything. But he’ll be alive, and that’s all that matters.
They arrive at their destination midday. Jason’s not surprised to see it occupied, but he is surprised to see who it’s occupied by. He lays Tim down and rolls his shoulders. This will probably come down to a fight.
“Talia. I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Damian figured out what happened. Once he realized what you were planning, he contacted me. Jason, you know this is a mistake," Talia says.
“You didn’t think it was a mistake when you dunked me in there and set me loose on my family," he says icily.
“You were already alive, but a vegetable. There was no choice but to dunk you in the Pit. Tim is at rest.”
“Bullshit. You saved me because it’s what you thought Bruce would have wanted. But now that he’s seen how fucked up the Lazarus Pit makes you, you don’t think Bruce would want that again. Better a dead son than a broken one, right? Well I don’t think so.”
“Jason, Tim would not want–“
“DON’T SAY HIS NAME!” Jason screams. “Don’t say his name like you knew him, like you have any idea what he would want!”
They stare at each other in a furious silence. Talia opens her mouth to speak, but Jason cuts her off.
“Gotta wonder, Tals, do you know what you’re getting into? Because you’re not just going up against me, are you? You’re going up against Ra’s. The second he finds out, he’s going to do everything he can to get Tim to take a swim.”
“Do you see how demented your plan is, that your aims align with my father’s? Even you must know that is a sign of madness," Talia pleads.
Jason sets his jaw. “A broken clock is right twice a day.”
“Then why not go directly to him? You surely know he would assist you.”
“Because I’m not letting him get his claws in Tim. Tim’s not gonna owe his life to Ra’s al Ghul.”
“You think he will not seek to use this to his advantage? To sway Tim over to his side?”
“I know that when he gets out of the water, he won’t have anyone manipulating him into killing a kid just to clear their son’s way.” Damian got the idea that he had to kill Tim to replace him from somewhere. Talia could have told him that wasn’t true, and probably even made him believe it. But she had believed it, on some level, or she wouldn’t have done what she did. And Jason very nearly took Tim out of the picture well before Damian arrived on the scene.
Talia doesn’t flinch at his harsh words, but Jason knows her well enough to know they’ve hit their mark.
“Is this what he would have wanted? To be subjected to the madness of the Lazarus Pit for the rest of his natural life?”
“When he wakes up, I’ll ask him," Jason snarks.
“Surely he left a will. He must have known that there was a possibility he’d be dunked in a Pit, and planned accordingly.”
Jason stiffens. He knows Tim has a will. He’s mentioned it a few times, casually and offhand. He’d updated it recently to include Jason. He had mentioned that too.
“I know you don’t need the money, or any of my stuff, but what’s mine is yours. This just makes it official," he’d said.
But checking the will would mean calling Tim’s lawyer, and Jason wasn’t gonna wait around for Tim to rot while the lawyers dithered about just to find out that Tim had decided to leave Jason alone. Maybe Tim will hate him for what he’s about to do, but at least he’ll be alive to do so. Jason is done talking.
“Talia. I’m not aiming to kill here. But I’m not using rubber bullets," he warns her, pulling out a gun.
“I understand,” she says, falling into a fighting stance. “You will do as you feel you must. And so will I.”
Talia moves lightning quick, but Jasons’s a good shot. He gets her in the leg, a painful but nonlethal shot, and uses that to his advantage to pin her long enough to get a cuff around her wrist and ankle. It won’t hold her for long, but he doesn’t need it to.
He picks up Tim’s body (because that’s what it is, just an empty body) and limps over to the pool.
“Jason, don’t–“ Talia calls weakly.
Jason ignores her. He dumps the body into the acid green waters and waits with bated breath as it sinks deeper and deeper.
Several long seconds tick by, and Jason feels as if his heart has stopped. If this doesn’t work– he doesn’t know what he’ll do. Probably go on another killing rampage. Maybe do something reckless like challenge Batman to a duel. That nearly killed him last time, for all Bruce hadn’t been aiming for his neck. Maybe this time at least he’ll take the Joker out with him.
Tim sinks deeper. A few more seconds tick by. And then Tim starts to flail and thrash. Jason winces in sympathy as he inhales the water. Inhaling Lazarus water won’t kill you like regular water might, but it still isn’t pleasant. Tim kicks out blindly, and by some miracle propels himself in the right direction.
“You have no idea what you may have done,” Talia says softly. “You will live to regret it.”
Jason doesn’t hear her leave so much as he senses it. He doesn’t care. He only cares about the body thrashing in the water, choking, coughing, but unmistakably alive.
Tim finally breaks the surface, his back to Jason, and he gulps in deep, gasping breaths. Jason stares at him. He’s alive, it worked, he’s alive–
Tim swipes a hand across his face to help clear the water away, breathing deeply.
“Tim," Jason croaks. “Tim.”
Tim turns to face him. He’s beautiful, perfect, alive.
His eyes are glowing green.