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He knows he’s dying, despite what Techno liked to say. He could feel the venom pulse through his veins from the bite wound. Toxins too far into his heart to cut it off. It was a disease, one that always started with the body. It would weaken you, hurt you, take your mobility and throw it out the already broken and bloody window. Then your mind would go and you’d be one of them.
“We’ll stop here for tonight.” The older man said, stopping in his steps. Ranboo sighs, resting his head further on Techno’s shoulder. He was helping him walk around, his left leg one giant painful bandaged mess. The area they ended in was void of noise. Which didn’t mean there weren't any zombies around, they were always lurking. But it was good enough for the night.
They were deep in the forest, knowing better than to camp down in a city. No one survived the city’s, not unless you're blessed by god or the simple act of determination. Both were unlikely in these recent months. “I’m going to set you down over there.” Techno says softly, gesturing over to a place behind a bush.
Ranboo couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the spot, looking at the other. “A bush, really?” He deadpans, looking between the area and Techno.
The other just huffed, pulling him along. Ranboo stumbled forward as they walked over to the small clear area covered in bushes and plants. “It’s the best place to hide you.” He says simply, helping him down onto the ground. The second he’s sitting he groans, happy to have gotten off his legs.
“If a zombie comes I’m pretty sure a bush is the first thing it’s going to look in.” He states, leaning against a nearby tree. Techno shrugs, setting down all their bags around him. He’s quick to get out a blanket and cover him. Ranboo says a quick thank you as he grabs at the dirty fabric, bringing it up to his shoulders.
He doesn’t really know how much time passes until they're all settled, with Techno in front of him with the medical bag way too close for comfort. Time kinda drifts by nowadays, like water through fingers. “Do you want to roll up your pant leg or do you need help?” Techno asks, gesturing to his leg. Ranboo blinks tiredly at him, holding the blanket closer to himself.
“Help, please.” He says, not even embarrassed about asking anymore. It’s been too long of this for him to care. Techno just takes it in stride as he moves forward, taking the edge of his pants and carefully rolling it up. The smell is awful, wafting through the air and smelling like death itself has slept underneath his pant leg. The other doesn’t even budge as he opens up the bags beside them.
“Sorry.” He says, eyes set on the black and red stained bandages around his calf. He knows it’s disgusting, the rotting skin lying underneath.
The other waves him off, continuing to set everything up. “It’s not your fault.” He replies, looking over at him. He can’t help but disagree, the memories of getting bitten running its way through his head. They were running, zombies chasing them as they jumped and dodged past trees and stones. Ranboo wasn’t the best runner, not like the other was. He was slower, dead weight.
He had tripped over a rock and face planted into the underbrush, face getting caked with mud as he scraped his hands. He was however fast enough to draw his bat and block the bite of a lunging zombie, its claws grasping at his leather jacket. If he didn’t he was sure it would have bit right into his neck. Techno drew his gun, seeing what had happened and acted quickly.
Firing bullet after bullet with his pistol into the oncoming hoard. Ranboo struggled with the zombie on top of him for a second too long, a second bursting past the trees. It had instantly gone for his leg, biting deep into the skin. He screamed, a blood curdling thing he doesn’t wish to remember.
Techno ran over, having taken care of the ones nearby as he took out his hatchet and decapitated the one and his leg before putting a bullet into the one above him. But it was too late, the damage was done. Even now as he stares at his leg, then up at the other, he knows it’s too late. It’s done, he’s done. He holds back the comment as he stares into the others eyes, wondering what the others' thoughts about the bite was.
Techno’s eyes were like a storm, filled with so much more than what he lets on. He works with practiced ease, moving to unwrap the bandage around his leg. The black grotesque oozing skin doesn’t even faze him anymore, not like it did the first night he was bit. Where the other had to run off to throw up and gag. “It’s gotten worse.” He mutters, watching the other’s reaction.
He says nothing as he delved into the medical bag, taking out a needle and a bottle of clear liquid. Ranboo can’t help the squirm he does as he sees the sharp thing. He frowns, clutching harder onto the blanket around him. Techno notices and looks up, at least looking slightly apologetic. “It’ll only pinch.” He states as he cleans the needle. “You’ll feel better after.”
He doesn’t trust those words anymore. Feeling better was more like just getting rid of the slight shake in his leg and the tiredness. It still hurts, it still spreads. Every day, every hour. Techno likes to believe it’s doing more than it is, so he lets him. One of them has to survive and Ranboo knows it’s not going to be him. When he feels the pinch - which is more than just a pinch nowadays - he hisses through clamped teeth.
Techno injects the medicine into his calf slowly as he holds it steady. Ranboo can’t help the tremors that rack his body as he pulls the needle out of him and puts it to the side. His whole body is shaking lightly, his teeth chattering. Techno grabs the bandages and some other creams they’ve stolen from a drug store. He opens it and begins to rub the cream along his wounds, ignoring the blood smelly junk that drips into his fingers.
Ranboo sniffles, wiping at his teary eyes. His whole leg feels like it’s been dipped in arctic waters. So cold that it burns like a thousand flames. “I’m almost done.” Techno tries to soothe, sparing him a quick glance. He just nods stiffly, not trusting himself not to break out into a cry if he opens his mouth. “We’ll stay here for a few days before we move on.” He continues, starting to wrap his leg up again.
He’s tight with it, the bandages being stained with black and red. Techno’s still talking, at least he thinks he is. His mouth is opening and closing, so he must be talking. But Ranboo doesn’t hear anything, an electric buzz in his ears. He blinks slowly and his leg is suddenly all bandaged up. Techno was packing everything up, still talking. He thinks he’s trying to keep him calm, he always does this when he changes out his bandages.
It hardly works, but it’s the thought that counts. Ranboo doesn’t really feel calm, but he doesn’t necessarily feel upset either. It’s like he’s drifting through thick blurry water. He blinks again and time jumps forwards like before. Techno’s in front of him, eyes wide. His arms are on his sides, shaking him. He hardly feels it but he does see the movement. He thinks the other is yelling, is he yelling?
Before Ranboo could open his mouth to talk, his eyes dropped back to being closed. Like heavy raindrops on a Saturday night. He always seemed to like rainy days in the past, the cloudy sky and grey atmosphere. It was always a stinging chill but it made him feel so alive. Techno liked rainy days too, they shared their love for it.
“Look at all the puddles Techno!” He had yelled, years ago when the world didn’t want to strike them down. Carve out their life and feed it to decaying copses. At the moment none of that was real, only in the imaginations of movie and show makers.
“I see them.” A younger version of Techno chuckled, hands loosening around his own. Ranboo took that as his chance and ran forward, jumping into one and splashing the water all over his black and white raincoat. “Be careful!” His older brother chided, yet it was said in good fun. He vividly remembered the huge smile on the boy's face.
“Come, come!” He urged, jumping up and down in the water. “Come jump in the puddles with me!” Techno rolled his eyes as he walked over right into the water. Ranboo grabbed his hands, the two jumping up and down in the water. Childish laughs filled the Saturday air, rain pouring down from the heavens.
And when they were done, ready to move on with their day, a car honked its horn and sped past right into a giant water puddle on the road. The speed caused a wave of water to crash right into them, causing the little six year old him to fall back on his but from the force. His hands got scraped up from the fall, the car not doing anything to see it’s damaged as it sped off down the road.
“What the hell!” Techno cursed, wiping at his watery face. He then looked over, then down when he noticed that Ranboo wasn’t standing. His angry face turned worried as he looked over him, like he was scanning for injuries. “Ranboo are you okay?” He asked, way too softly for the mostly hard skinned boy.
All Ranboo could do was nod his head, his pants soaked and hair stuck to his face. “That was a really big puddle.” He noted, a small smile forming on his face.
Techno sighed, helping him up onto his feet. “It was.” He agrees, pushing his fringe out of his eyes for him. “How about we go home and dry off before we get sick, hmm?”
Ranboo pouted, shaking his head. “But the puddles!” He argues, lower lip wavering. The older boy groaned, picking him up like it was nothing as he turned on his heels. “No! I don’t want to go home yet! Techie!” Despite the mini tantrum on his tongue Ranboo wrapped his arms around his brother's neck, letting himself be carried.
“We can play in them tomorrow. The news said it’s going to be raining all week.” Techno says, looking down at him. “I’ll make you hot chocolate-“
“Okay!” Ranboo sniffled, rubbing his nose on his brother's pink raincoat. Techno grimaces but doesn’t reprimand him for it as they head home. Only muttering the words “Nasty baby’s.”
When he opens his eyes again it’s to himself being held, something wet falling on his hands. He hears mutter, feeling hands around himself. It’s warm here, in the arms of another. He moves a bit to get more comfortable, hand moving up to grip at the Techno’s shirt. Because it has to be Techno holding him, there would be no one else.
The movement causes the other to abruptly stop, body stilling. Ranboo whines at the lack of movement. The sound seems to cause the other to start back up again, rocking him softly from side to side. “Are you there?” He hears the older ask, hands rubbing at his forearms. He hums, not really knowing what the other means by that.
Techno breathes out a sigh of relief at that, squeezing him softly. “You scared the crap out of me.” He says next, voice cracking. “You weren’t answering me.”
“…I’m sorry.” He slurs, body aching. “Didn’t mean to.” He adds, snuggling closer to the other.
He feels him nod, another droplet of something wet falling into his hands. Ranboo looks down, wondering if it had started raining since he fell asleep only to pause when he sees red. It wasn’t water on his hand, it was blood. At the sight he jerks his head up, nearly bumping it into the other's chin as he scrambles backwards. He hears the other yell to stop but he doesn’t care, pushing past the now blaring pain in his leg as he gets away from the other.
He’s only broken out of his freak out when Techno grabs his arms, holding him steady. He’s right in front of him now, he can see the other. “It’s okay, Ranboo. Everything’s fine, you're fine.” He soothes, hands tightening on him. It’s almost painful.
Ranboo ignores the words as he looks at the others face, eyes widening. Techno’s gaw was cut, blood dripping down his chin and into his neck. For some reason he already knows who did it, who’s nails Techno’s blood is under. “D-did I-“
“Yes.” Techno stops him from saying anymore, understanding his next broken words. “It’s a scratch though, I’m fine and so are you. You… didn’t bite me.” The words stung, like a knife dipped in boiling water had plunged itself into his heart. He hurt Techno, he had hurt his brother. He doesn’t even remember it! He just blacked out, dreamt of a time he fondly remembers. He was supposed to be asleep, not doing whatever he had done.
Tears are rolling down his cheeks before he can think of them, hsi breath hitching in his throat. “I d-didn’t mean- I don’t know what h-happened.” He stutters, hiccups now racking his body as he cries. Techno looks all too accepting of his actions as he physically drags him back over to where they were sitting, wrapping his arms around him once more.
Ranboo tries to push off him, not wanting to hurt the other again. But he’s far too weak too, arms tiring out way too quickly as he slumps defeated. “It’s not your fault.” Techno whispers, beginning to rock him from side to side once more. “I’m not upset at you.”
“I hurt you!” He yells, voice cracking as he sobs. “You're bleeding !”
“It’s just a scratch.” Techno repeats, hand moving up to card through his hair. “It would have already blackened if you had infected me.” Infected, it’s said so simply. Like this wasn’t a big deal, like Ranboo wasn’t going to turn into something horrible. “Can you take a few deep breaths for me? Ranboo?”
He shakes his head no, moving his hands up to cover his mouth. He doesn’t want to be this thing, he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. “You should have shot me.” He whispers, knowing the other could hear. “I don’t want to-“
“Shut up!” Techno shouts, causing him to flinch. His hands tighten around his form, his rocking stopping as he holds him way too close to his body. He could bite him at any second, hurt him right now if he lost it again. “You're not going to hurt me and I’m not hurting you.” He quiets down a bit, voice wavering. “The medicine is working, right? It’s slowing down, you’re-“
“Hurting.” He sobs, shaking in the other's grasp. “Everything hurts!” He screams, banging on the other's chest with his free hand. “Please, please just shoot me. I can’t take it anymore, please Techno, Techie.”
A teardrop falls onto his hand, mixing with the blood already there as Techno starts to shake. More tears joining the first as his older brother cries with him. “I can’t do that.” He says slowly, resting his head atop of his own. “We can deal with this, we can keep moving. I’ll… I’ll find us a house. Away from the city, somewhere secluded. I can take care of you.”
“It’s just going to get worse.” He sniffles out, looking up at Techno’s determined face.
“But you won’t turn.” The other replies back, wiping the tears off his cheeks. “Not fully anyways.”
“I don’t want to hurt anymore.” He cries, pleading with the other. “It would be mercy.” He states, watching the other for any sign that he is breaking through to him.
Techno just shakes his head, a sorrowful look in his eyes. “I’m sorry Ranboo, but I’m not a merciful man.” His brother whispers, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. “I’m selfish, you hear me? I don’t care how many times you black out and try to hurt me, or how many times you tell me to pick up the gun. I’m not doing it, okay? I promised you when you got bitten that I would never give up on you.”
Ranboo pushes his head into the other's shirt, remembering the conversation he’s referring to. “I’ll find us another drug store.” He goes on, sounding way too determined. It was a deadly kind, one that gets people killed. “I’ll get you some more painkillers, okay? And I’ll get us a bin so you can have a bath and-“
“Puddles.” He interrupts, wiping at his eyes.
“What?” Techno breaths out, sounding confused.
“I wanna play in some puddles, like when I was little.” He clears up, looking around at the foliage that hides them.
Techno seems to understand as he nods, a sorrowful laugh falling from his lips. “Ya, I’ll get you a puddle. We can spend a day playing in them if you want. Do you, uh- remember how mad dad would get when we got home soaked?” He asks.
He chuckles, nodding at the memory. “He said we looked like a bunch of wet dogs.” Their dad wasn’t that mad, but to a bunch of kids a light scolding was the end of the world. “…I’m tired Techno.” He says suddenly, eyes heavy.
Techno hums, leaning back a bit so he could rest more comfortably. “Go to sleep, I’ll wake you up when it’s time to eat.” He says, loosening up his grip on him. And maybe it was sad and depressing to not want to wake up, but Ranboo didn’t care. Waking up meant pain, meant being able to hurt Techno, meant another day knowing he’s going to die something less than human.
He didn’t hate Techno for being selfish, if it was the other way around he’d be the one not giving his brother peace. If anything he hated the would for the life he had now. For the blackened bite mark on his leg and the thumbing in his head. Death is merciful though, it’s what he wants. He’ll wait until he’s alone, until Techno’s off getting supplies for them.
One of them will live and with all of Ranboo’s damned determinant that it wasn’t going to be him.
God no, it wasn’t going to be him.