Chapter Text
Stepping into the small, decimated bedroom, I feel a pang of sadness register in my un-beating heart. I hadn't been back to this place in so long; it feels like a dream to see it again, ruined and demolished as it is. This place I called home once.
The partially collapsed roof hangs heavy over most of the space. In the hazy grey-ish light, I can make out the most obvious landmarks, supported by my picture-perfect memories. The metal bed frame still stands, the mattress long since moldered away, but I can envision the soft purple duvet. The rocking chair in the corner is reduced to a pile of charred wood, but I remember when he held me in his arms there on one of our first mornings together. The desk topped with the hunk of metal that was once an outdated computer can be seen, caved in under the weight.
To have these scraps of my old life at my fingertips - if only for this short visit- hurts so deeply. The waves of nostalgia and longing for the past are almost too much to bear.
It had been 47 years since the bombs fell. 47 years since my life and my family's life had been destroyed, along with the rest of the world.
Hearing light footsteps behind me, I'm not surprised when Ness's hand touches my shoulder. I get the flavor of her thoughts with this simple touch. Concern, worry, and an undercurrent of nostalgia. Of course, she remembers this house from back when we would visit Charlie when she was still young.
A question pushes into my mind:
Ready, mom?
The voice is gentle and kind in my head, and I feel an ache in my chest. She must sense the pain I'm feeling. I turn away from the sights of my old human bedroom and wrap my arms around my daughter, which catches her off guard, but she responds by embracing me, herself.
"Yeah, let's go," I say tenderly as I release Ness from my hug. My once soft and elegant voice is rough from years of breathing in polluted air- just another unexpected result of the radiation. Ness smiles reassuringly at me, and we make our way down the rotted stairs, careful not to step on the parts that obviously wouldn't hold much weight.
Out in the open, arid, brownish air again, Ness and I slowly maneuver our way over the debris on the road, not in much of a hurry to get to our next stop. This is going to be much more painful than Charlie's house, both for my daughter and me.
We pass countless destroyed houses, charred corpses, and barren, broken trees that were once lush with green leaves. I look down at my hands, gnarled and disfigured from where I touched the directly irradiated material after the blasts. I feel a lump of emotion in my throat, emotions gripping hold of me and dragging me to the past.
The day it happened was much like any other day. We were in Alaska at the time, staying a few towns away from our Denali cousins. Renesmee hadn't even completely reached physical maturity, and she and I were in the house watching TV, her head cradled in my lap. Edward - I feel like I may cry thinking his name, even though I don't have the physical capability to cry - was outside in the large yard, building a dog house.
A ghost of a smile tugs my lips at the memory of Ness begging and begging to get a dog. After Jacob had decided to stay behind in La Push for a few years until Ness reached physical maturity, Ness missed him so much that she became depressed. She pushed the issue until Edward and I caved and made plans to get her a puppy. We would have had that dog in a few days if the bombs hadn't ruined the plan.
When the first far-off blast came, neither Renesmee nor I knew what to make of it. Then it all happened at once. The world blew apart, the house shaking violently. Although Edward was still outside, I grabbed Ness and took her to the basement as the cabin crumbled around us. It was all I could think to do - to keep my daughter safe. It was probably my quick thinking that saved the two of us.
Ness had been scared, crying and shaking, begging me to check on Edward. I wanted to, but as I went up the stairs, I felt the heat of radiation on my skin, even through the floor above us. Knowing that fire is the only thing that can effectively kill a vampire, my hesitation saved my life. It took me several minutes to get the courage to open the door, and as I felt the burning of my rock-hard skin, I knew we were in serious trouble.
As I left the relative safety of the basement, I had told Renesmee to stay put. Thank god she listened to me. If she had seen...
As I pushed through the debris, my clothes and skin started burning, and I spotted him in the yard, charred to a crisp. I ran to him, touching him although it began to mutilate my hands. I sobbed without tears for several minutes, my pale skin forever changing - burning, crisping, puckering in the radiation.
God, if only he had been inside the house with Ness and me. He would still be here with us today.
Looking back down at my hands now, in the present moment, I shudder as I see my mangled fingers.
As we get closer to our destination, I feel gnawing anxiety in the pit of my stomach. Maybe coming back to Forks was a bad idea. Maybe seeing the house I first met my once-coven in would be too hard...
Almost as soon as I think this, my thoughts are inexplicably calmed. I look at Ness suspiciously, but her gaze isn't on me - it's trained dead ahead.
My head whips to the object of her attention, my eyes wide as I see two figures much farther ahead of us. One is gracefully balanced on a fallen tree intersecting the road, the other standing rigidly on the cracked, broken asphalt.
"Alice! Jasper!" I croak, sprinting before I can stop myself; my arms were thrown around the pixie-like vampire girl - my sister-in-law. "I didn't know you survived!"
"I'm sorry we didn't find you sooner," Alice says, a hint of despair tainting her own scratchy voice. It almost shocks me to hear her once high, clear, musical voice destroyed by the radiation. "We experienced some... setbacks."
I pull away from her, curiosity piqued. A strike of fear shoots through me as I see her face for the first time in nearly 50 years.
Instantly, I see flashbacks of Edward. The radiation burns disfiguring her face are like how Edward looked when I found his body, which took the blast head-on.
Alice's condition is shocking; I can hardly believe it. Seeing how the radiation had melded her eyes permanently shut, I gasped.
"Can you see?" I ask stupidly.
"I can still see the future," Alice says solemnly, answering my question. I embraced her in a hug once again, knowing I would be crying if it was possible.
"Aunt Alice!" Ness's voice sounds in greeting from behind me, and I smile as I hear her voice for the first time in years. After the bombs, Ness largely stopped talking, only wishing to communicate with her gift. I didn't blame her. I step out of the way, letting Ness hug her aunt, and I tune out their conversation and turn to Jasper, who has been quiet and still as a statue this whole time.
"Jasper, how are you doing?" As I step closer to him, my marred voice is soft and sincere, and seeing the man struggle for words causes an ache in my chest. He'd always been a soft-spoken person, and now it seems he was lost for words.
He takes a few moments before answering: "Not too well, I'm afraid."
Offering a slight smile, he returns the gesture rigidly, but I know it's false. He must feel awful, seeing his love forever scarred. Since I met him, Jasper has always been born many scars from his time in the war, but I can't see any severe radiation burns on him. He must have been inside during the blast, protected from its worst.
It still puzzles me how radiation affects vampires. It doesn't help that I haven't run into other immortal beings since the bombs fell. I wonder if Alice and Jasper know anything useful.
"Where have you guys been?" I try to keep my voice soft and nonthreatening, seeing the tension in his body.
"Everywhere but here," Jasper says after a heavy pause; his already deep voice is even deeper now.
Nodding somberly, I explain how Ness and I had only ever traveled around North America after we had hidden in our basement for many years after the blasts. For a long time, we only came out every couple of months to try and find food, which was scarce and disgusting, but it sustained us. We had nearly starved for a long time, my eyes black as an abyss and her half-human body skinny, but we were both still strong enough, being immortal.
When we finally decided to leave our home, things were never the same, and Jasper seemed to understand.
It had taken a long time to decide to come back to Forks, and I'm not sure if it was the right choice. While it's nice to see Alice and Jasper again, the painful memories just won't let up.
"Are you headed back to the house?" Jasper asks, and I don't have to ask which house he means. There's only one house that really matters.
"Yes, we were headed there."
"We will accompany you," Jasper says, "if that's fine."
Nodding, we return to Alice and Ness. Ness has her hand up to Alice's face, silently recounting everything we've been through these last years. I hate to break up the moment, but I'm anxious to get to the Cullen's place as soon as possible now that I've decided to go back.
"Ness, are you ready? We're going back to the Cullen house."
Ness draws her hands away from Alice and nods to me, a pained expression on her angel's face.
Jasper comes around and rests a hand on Alice's shoulder, guiding her down the street. I guess that Alice only slightly needs a guide because her other senses are so acute, but it's nice to see this bit of casualty between the two as we make our way home.
We half-run, half-jog to the house, stepping and leaping over debris in the road. I see another scorched skeleton and wish I could keep the image away from my daughter, but she sees it and cringes. These were our friends.
Once we reach the long driveway leading to the house, Ness grabs my hand, and we all slow down, admiring the canopy of blasted tree branches. The path is littered with branches and dead leaves, but we make our way forward as if marching off to some great destination.
We hadn't heard from Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, or Emmett since the bombs fell. The thought of seeing their corpses is revolting, but I prepare myself for the worst.
When we reach the house, I'm surprised to see it standing. The metal shutters over the glass windows have sealed away the house from the blasts, and only minimal damage is done to the frame.
"Home sweet home," Jasper mutters, and I smile infinitesimally.
We approach the house, and I make out the sound of movement from inside, making fear shoot through me. It takes me a moment to recognize the tell-tale sound of a heartbeat and shuffling, and my spirits fall.
Walking up to the front door, I try the handle but of course, it's locked. I decide to kick it in, knowing Esme, wherever she is, would hate such blatant disrespect for her home. I mentally apologize to her and walk inside.
The house's interior is more or less the same as when I saw it last, with white furniture. Still, somehow moisture made it inside, and the upholstery is molded and torn in spots. I see the grand piano standing on its raised platform, and sadness crashes into me like an unforgiving wave as thoughts of Edward fill my mind.
I can make out the familiar sound of a deer from the back of the house, and it's almost as if I can hear my stomach grumble if that were possible. Animals are hard to come across, and I wonder if I'll have to fight Alice and Jasper for it. The thought is troubling.
I hear light footsteps behind me, and I feel Ness's warm hand in mine. I feel a rush of her nostalgia and her sadness. I turn to her and wrap my arms around my daughter, grateful that I at least have her. If I didn't have her, I'd have nothing.
Alice and Jasper walk in behind us, giving us some space as they walk arm in arm around the front room.
"There's a deer, but I don't see any hint of Carlisle or Esme," Alice says, and I pull away from Ness to look at the prophet.
"Can Ness and I have the deer? It's been a while..." I ask, noting Jasper's golden eyes earlier. I can't see Alice's eyes, but I guess they would be golden too.
"Of course," Alice says, "One of the perks of seeing the future is that I can see where the animals are going to be. We haven't gone hungry like you two have."
A pang of resentment comes over me, but I squash it down. There's no need to get mad over the things I can't change.
Ness walks ahead of us, and I can hear her stomach rumble. She slinks across the floor, getting in position by the stairs to lunge at the unsuspecting animal standing by the far wall. The metal along the back wall is warped and shredded in places, likely from the nukes, allowing the animal to get inside.
Ness waits a moment before striking, and I watch with pride as she easily and lithely kills the deer and drains it in mere moments, letting not even a drop spill. She's a skilled hunter, just like any other vampire, or even more graceful, despite being half-human.
I turn away, feeling famished but not wanting Ness to see how much I wish I had something to eat. She needs it more than me, and I'd put her needs before mine regardless of the situation.
Ness joins us again, looking more satisfied, with rosy cheeks and a small smile. She moves close by my side and then places a slender hand on my cheek. I feel the pinch of regret in her thoughts.
"I should have saved you some," she thinks to me. I shake my head, feeling a lump of emotion in my throat. Somehow, I deny it.
"No way, Nessie. You needed it; I'll be okay," I say, even though my coal-black eyes must speak against it. She keeps her hand on my face, adding, "maybe Aunt Alice can find you something?"
I nod and then turn to Alice. Ness drops her hand and wanders off as I speak with my sister-in-law.
"Alice?" I ask, feeling a twinge of sympathy as I see her turn to me, her marred, scarred face as evident as a beacon.
"Yes?" She asks, but I feel she knows what I'm going to ask.
"Do you think you could point me toward some food?"
"Of course. There should be a mountain lion coming within five miles of here in about fifteen minutes. Your lucky day," she giggles, and I grin slightly, glad to know food is in sight. It pains me to know Alice can't see my smile.
"Thank you," I say genuinely. It's been so long since I had something as delectable as a mountain lion. It excites me just to think about it.
Just then, the beginning notes of a song come from the piano. We all turn to look, seeing Ness sitting on the bench, gently tapping keys to draw a melody from the instrument. I feel the prickle in my eyes that means I'd be crying if such a thing were possible for a vampire. It's a beautiful song, something I've never heard before, and it strikes me with the yearning for Edward's playing.
Once Ness finishes the piece, she slowly turns on the bench to face the three of us.
She has tears coming down her beautiful, rosy cheeks. It pains me to see them there.
I open my arms wide, and she gets up and rushes to me in one fluid motion. She's in my arms in a fraction of a second, holding me close to her body. She's stronger than me right now, having just fed, whereas I haven't had blood in a while.
Feeling gut-wrenchingly sad, I hold my daughter. Her hand snakes up and touches my cheek.
"I miss him," she says in my mind.
"I know. I do too," I whisper, barely audible. I know she can hear me clearly. I look down, and I see tears shimmering in her eyes. Hating the sight of my daughter's pain, I pull her tighter against my body.
"We have to keep going for him," I say softly.
Ness pulls away, and I look into her deep brown eyes and the tears falling down her face. I reach up and wipe the salty tears from her cheeks with my scarred hands.
"Thanks, momma," Ness says through her connection. I reach up and touch the back of her hand with mine, holding her fingers against my face. She sends her feeling of comfort to me, and I smile softly at her. She smiles too.
"The mountain lion should be there soon. Do you want me to show you where?" Alice asks after a long pause.
"Yes, please," I say, dropping my hand. Ness lowers her hand and steps away.
I follow Alice through the front door, trusting her to guide me where I need to be. She moves swiftly and silently through the scraggly underbrush, and I follow along just as quietly. We make it to a point a few miles away and stop, and I smell the flavor of the mountain lion in the wind and crouch down instinctively. Alice moves away, and I see the animal up ahead, drinking from a stream.
Watching the lion drink, I prepare to pounce, but then my target moves its head - one of its heads - and I have to hold back a gasp. I see the creature fully for the first time, seeing a smaller, deformed head coming out from its neck. The smaller head laps at the stream with its tongue before the first head turns back and drinks from the water.
I feel disgusted and slightly upset that Alice didn't warn me that the creature was deformed.
Still starving, I struggle with my hunger and disgust before deciding that I'm too famished to turn up this animal.
With a roar, I jump forward and land on the creature's back. I grab the animal's neck, avoiding the monstrosity that is its second head, and twist, killing the poor animal instantly. I bite deep into the fur on the other side of its neck and drink greedily, draining the creature. There's a bite to the blood, an odd flavor that I know must be leftover radiation.
Pulling back, I stare at the dead thing. It was no match against me and my thirst.
Dropping the animal's corpse, I flit back to Alice's side and roll my eyes at her, although I don't think she sees. "You knew the mountain lion was mutated!" I accuse playfully.
"I saw something like that, yes. But you seemed hungry enough that it wouldn't matter."
"You're right about that," I allow, punching my sister-in-law softly on the arm. "Thanks, Alice."
"Not a problem, love," she says and smiles. Her beautiful, brilliant grin isn't marred by radiation as her eyes are, and I can tell she's still beautiful, despite the scarring.
We walk together at a human's pace back to the house, chatting lightly about things that don't matter. When we get there, I see Ness and Jasper sitting on the couch, Ness's hand against his cheek, speaking with her gift.
Jasper looks over at us as we walk through the gaping front door. Ness stands and walks up to me, her head down as she glides along the dusty floor.
Ness puts a hand to my face, and I hear the desperation in her thoughts.
"I want to see him if he's still there..." she thinks. My heart breaks for her.
"You might not like what you find, love," I whisper to her, hoping to sound comforting. It's the truth. If she finds her imprinter dead, it will crush her.
"I don't care. I need to know for sure," Ness has confidence in her thoughts that surprises me, although it shouldn't. I should have guessed that she'd want to go to the Quileute reservation to see if her Jacob was still there, waiting for her.
"Okay, we can go. I just want to see our old cottage first. Come on, there's nothing else for us here."
Alice and Jasper whisper to each other to the side, and I wonder if they are deciding whether to follow us or not. My internal question is answered briefly as Jasper steps toward Ness and me.
"I think Alice and I will stay here for a while before moving on. If you wish to travel with us, you are welcome to."
"Thank you," I say, "We'll think about it. We will be visiting La Push first, and then we'll come to find you hereafter."
"Sounds like a plan," Jasper says, and then I grab Ness's hand softly and tug her to the front door, which is little more than a gaping hole after I kicked it in. Maybe I could fix it before we leave. The idea of traveling with Alice and Jasper is appealing to me. I'd never have to go hungry. We'd have company. We'd have part of our old life back.
Ness breaks into a run in the direction of La Push. I follow after her quickly, matching her speed. I can tell she's desperate to see him, and I can't help but wish that he's still there with everything in me. I miss Jacob. It's been too long since I last saw his brilliant smile or felt this supernaturally warm skin against my frozen body in one of his tight embraces.
I also wonder what Jasper said to her while Alice and I were gone hunting to make her so instantly desperate to see her mate.
Whatever the reason, I'm happy enough to fuel her desire because my desire matches it nearly as much. Jacob was my best friend once, at times even more than that. To see him again would be fantastic.
We reach the borderline, which is easy to tell by the stamped-down earth where the wolves have beat the sparse greenery into the dirt. I take this as a good sign. Maybe at least one of the wolves had survived, or enough to have defeated the slow, creeping onslaught of the vegetation trying to take back over in the irradiated soil.
Ness and I run as fast as we can until we clear the trees and end up on the long road down to Jacob's house. I pray to whatever is out there that he will be there waiting.
We reach where the house had been, and I see Ness's eyes sparkle with tears. The red house where Jacob lived with his father is demolished, and the metal garage where I spent months with him in my youth is flattened on the ground.
Ness reaches a hand up to my face and suggests, "Maybe he's somewhere else?"
"We can check," I say out loud to the wind. Nessie turns and runs in the direction of the beach. I follow.
Before we've made it half a mile, I sense something coming towards us and grab onto Ness's arm mid-run to stop her. We both skid to a stop in the middle of the woods. Whatever is coming, it's coming fast.
Although my gift only helps with mental attacks, I still cast it over Ness in protection as I stand there, crouched and ready to spring.
I'm brought up short when I see the significant, russet brown wolf break through the trees ahead of us. Immediately I recognize the sight and scent of my old friend, and Ness cries out in shock. She probably wasn't expecting this to be so easy. Or...
She must have seen the condition of the creature in front of us. It takes me a moment to get over the elation and notice the more subtle details.
One of Jacob's back paws is severely damaged, looking radiation-burnt and scarred. The fur on his face is charred away on the side, leaving raw-looking skin underneath. One of his eyes is slit into a line.
"Jacob!" Ness yells out loud with her actual voice, taking a step forward. I think she expects the wolf to turn back human, but he doesn't. The wolf looks beaten and battered, and I wonder how long it's been since he's even phased into human form.
The wolf perks up, hearing his name. I take a step to the side, and Jacob's keen eyes follow the movement for a second before training on Ness again. Without warning, the wolf runs to the side, behind some trees, and there's a bit of rustling. I look at Ness to see her on the brink of breaking down when Jacob, in human form, comes through the trees and rushes up to Ness, wrapping his long arms around her in a hug.
He must have walked away to put on some shorts, so thankfully, he's not naked, which would have been awkward for everyone.
"Ness, Ness, my love," Jacob's rough voice croons, holding my daughter close to his shirtless chest. I try to keep any anger down; shouldn't I be past this? But I've been keeping Ness safe for the last few decades, which has evidently made me very possessive. I just don't want anything to hurt her.
"Jake," Ness's voice is a sigh of contentment, of relief so grand it's almost blinding.
"I've waited... so long..." Jacob says softly. I wonder if he means these words to be heard only by Ness, but I can't help but listen in. "I began to think you'd never come..."
Ness reaches up and touches her mate's face, sharing thoughts and words silently between the two of them, so I can't hear. I look at Jacob for the first time in decades, and see he hasn't changed much, other than that one of his legs is burnt and his face is scarred with radiation.
"I love you, too," Jacob says, and then he's pulling her towards him, kissing Ness deeply and passionately. I turn away. There would have been a time in my life where I would stop them, not wanting him to touch my daughter, but I know this is as it should be. They are mated, imprinted, and made for each other. In some ways, it would be wrong to stop them.
I walk farther into the words, giving them space, and then stop when I hear the sound of approaching footsteps.
"Bella!" The familiar, always happy voice of Seth Clearwater reaches me, and I smile. He walks forward and wraps his arms around me, giving me a big bear hug. "It's been so long!"
"I know!" I say with a grin. It's nearly impossible not to smile around this big goofball. "We have been away a long time. We would have come back sooner if we knew you guys were still here."
We pull apart, and I take a quick look at him. I can see that he doesn't seem scarred or burnt, but he looks like he's filled out considerably. No longer the lean teenager, now more of a man with broad shoulders and thick arms.
"Wow, Seth, you really grew up," I say, looking back at his face, which is alight with a smile.
"Yeah, well, it had been long enough as a teenager. I let myself grow up a little bit."
I nod appreciatively, then ask, "Is your sister still around?"He immediately gets somber, looking down at the dirt, looking for words. "No... she's gone."
"Seth, I'm sorry."
"It's..." He falters. I think he was about to say, 'It's fine,' but we both know it's not fine.
"I think we've all lost people we care about," I say and put my arms around his middle, pulling him into a hug. I hear him sniffle, and then his strong arms are around me, holding me.
"Edward?" He whispers the name in a question, and I wince. Seth holds me tighter. "I'm sorry," he says.
"At least we still have Nessie," I say as I pull away from Seth, smiling somberly.
"I expect Jacob's thoughts will be much happier from now on," Seth agrees.
I turn my face to the gloomy sky, seeing the grey clouds through the scraggly tree branches, and feeling a bittersweet twinge of emotion. Will she want to stay with him? Will I lose my daughter now that she has her mate?
"It's weird," Seth says, pulling me from my thoughts. "We've been in our wolf forms so long; I have to learn how to walk on two legs again!"
A laugh escapes my lips, my first real laugh in I don't know how long.
Just then, I hear two sets of footsteps as Ness and Jacob walk toward us.
"Finally, I was about to tell you to get a room!" Seth says jokingly. I laugh softly.
"Can it, shrimp," Jacob tells Seth halfheartedly, although Seth isn't too far from Jacob's muscle mass now. "Bells," Jacob starts, directed at me, "Nessie and I have been talking, and I think it would be best if she stayed with me. I want to offer an invitation for you to stay with us too if you want."
Jacob's face is earnest and genuine, and he seems so happy to have my Ness back. I think about it, tagging along with my daughter and her mate, and it doesn't seem quite fair to them. Of course, Seth will be the third wheel. What's the harm in a fourth? My mind calculates all this in a fraction of a second, and I'm sure no one can sense my hesitation.
I really don't want to leave Ness behind. My eyes flick over to Seth, standing to the side, observing, waiting for my answer. I look back to Ness, who clings to her mate's side.
I settle, "I think I should let you two have your space."
I sense a small sigh from Jacob, who I didn't realize until that moment wanted me to go. It prickles some anger in me, but I let it go. No use getting mad. He simply wanted some time with his imprintee without her mom/his ex hanging around.
"I'm going to travel with Alice and Jasper for a while," I say to Ness or whoever bothers to care. It pains me to see a hint of sadness in my daughter's eyes.
Without much hesitation, Ness leaves Jacob's side and runs up to me, enveloping me in a hug. I hug her back, feeling the odd vampire way of crying take over me.
"I'll miss you," I whisper to her. Her hand moves to my face, and I feel pain and grief in her thoughts.
"I'll miss you, too," she says to my mind.
"Jacob will take good care of you," I say, half to reassure myself, half to reassure her. I know it's the truth, but it still has a bittersweet edge.
"I know," she says with her thoughts, and I feel an overpowering sense of love directed at Jacob. It stuns me for a second, and it surprises me that she feels so strongly for him. Almost as strong as I feel about my departed Edward.
"Have fun, be safe," I smile down at her, and she squeezes me with her one hand still around my waist. Her hand on my face sends the feeling of both happiness and sadness in equal measure.
"I love you," she says to me through her connection.
"I love you too," I reply, and she steps away, her hand falling to her side. She turns and goes to Jacob's side, huddling close to her mate.
Not wanting to delay and overthink things, I turn on my heel and began running, every bounding step putting more distance between Ness and me. I know my face is a mask of sorrow, but I try to squash down the despair I feel inside.
It takes me less time than I would have thought to get back to the Cullen's house. I find Alice and Jasper sitting on the ruined couch.
Jasper looks up at me expectantly when I enter the gaping doorway. Alice asks, "So, I'm guessing he was there?"
I have the urge to wipe my face, although I know I don't have any tears to wipe away. I carefully construct my mask of indifference and possibly a hint of happiness for my daughter, clashing with the agony I feel on the inside. I suddenly feel a wave of calm and serenity, and I know Jasper is influencing my mood. I let him do it, welcoming the feeling, taking the edge off my mountain of worry and despair.
"Yes, he is. And Ness decided to stay with him," I try to say this as calmly as I can, wishing Jasper would turn up his ability and fully calm me. I am relieved when he does just that, and I step forward. "So, where are we going?"
"I want to look for Carlisle and Esme. Last I saw them was many years ago, but it could mean they found something to block my vision or..." Alice trails off. "I have a good feeling that they are okay, and we will be able to find them," she says after a moment.
"Alright," I say, smiling softly. "Let's get going."
I turn back to the doorway and stop short. There, standing silently is Seth Clearwater.
"Bella," he says and takes a step towards me.
"What? Is Ness okay?" I ask immediately, somehow involuntarily stepping up to the werewolf and gripping his shoulders.
"She's okay," Seth says, not trying to break out of my grip on him. "I just... wanted to see if I could come with you."
Surprised, I release Seth and step back. I look over my shoulder at Jasper and Alice, who have stood up and are a few paces behind me.
"I think that would be okay," I say and smile. Seth's beaming grin brightens the room.
"Sweet! I promise I won't be in the way. I just... didn't want to be the third wheel."
"I understand," I say and link my arm with his, the warmth of his werewolf skin burning against my cold vampire skin. I welcome it, knowing he's here to help, to be a comfort, to be a traveling companion and friend.
With a smile, I step out into the sunlight, arm in arm with Seth, the warm sun setting my skin glittering. "Let's go."