Work Text:
Secrets
“I need to go to the starbase.”
Chris looked up at Una, who was standing in front of his desk with her hands behind her back. He leaned back in his chair a bit.
“Una, I know you must need a break, but the Enterprise is scheduled to leave in an hour. It’s a little late to decide to take shore leave.”
“I’ll only be gone 30 minutes–45 tops.”
Captain Pike looked at his Number One for a few moments, considering.
He wasn’t considering whether to agree to her request, that was settled in his mind as soon as she asked. He had only questioned her because he was concerned about how long it had been since she’d taken any sort of real break.
“Of course, Number One. Just don’t be late,” he said with a teasing smile.
50 minutes later Captain Pike was standing on the bridge looking around. Repairs were complete, all systems had been checked. Hemmer had confirmed warp drive was set to engage. The ship was ready to depart, but making sure everyone was on board after shore leave was the responsibility of the first officer. However, she wasn’t on the bridge.
Captain Pike realized he was about to start pacing and stopped himself. He looked at his security officer just as she turned to look at him. She understood.
“Lieutenant Singh to Chief Kyle, is Commander Chin-Riley on board?”
“They–I mean she is, sir,” came Kyle’s slightly nervous response.
“Everyone else was already accounted for, sir,” La’an said, looking at Chris. He nodded and gave the order to undock and set their new course.
Ten minutes after Chris said “hit it,” Una still wasn’t on the bridge. He pulled up the roster on his armrest–yes, she was scheduled for bridge duty. Had Kyle been mistaken? Had they left her at the Starbase?
Captain Pike turned the con over to Lieutenant Singh and headed to his ready room.
“Pike to Commander Chin-Riley."
“Here, Captain.”
Chris let out a sigh of relief, which he realised was probably an overreaction. He could have just gone back to get her, after all, if she had been left behind.
“Una, is everything ok?”
“Yes, Chris, I’ll be on the bridge in a few minutes. I’m just getting things settled.”
Things? thought Chris. Then a sharp “YAP” came through the open comline.
“Una, what was that?”
“Nothing, Chris. It was–it was just me. I almost tripped over something.”
Chris considered this for a moment. Something was going on. Could she have been injured somehow while she was on the starbase?
Since Una nearly died because she didn't ask for help when she was injured in the Gorn attack, Chris had found he was more than reasonably anxious about her health and safety.
“You’re sure you’re alright?”
“Yes, Chris.”
“Very well, Pike out.”
Chris waited five minutes before going back to the bridge, but Una still wasn’t there. He waited another five minutes, then decided he would go down to her quarters, just to see if she needed help “settling things.”
When he got to her quarters, she wasn’t there.
When he got back to the bridge, she was there already. As he stepped off the lift she gave him a look with a smug smile and raised eyebrows and a little bounce that said “I know you know I was up to something and it’s something I’m quite proud of but I’ll never tell you what it was.”
This was not the first time Christopher Pike had encountered that look.
The next day Captain Pike noticed his typically serious security chief smiling more than once.
"Una," he asked as soon as they were alone, "did La'an like her gift?"
Una looked startled. "G-gift?" she echoed, but quickly recovered. "My business on the space station was personal, Captain," she said with a smile. But as she turned to walk away, Una caught Chris's eye and winked.
* * *
Una had been "busy" since the Enterprise left Majalis, and had turned down all of Chris's offers to make her dinner. But not long after they finished their survey of the Jonisian Nebula, she walked into his ready room and said "You know, I never got any of that chili on the Serene Squall." So the next evening, they sat in front of his fireplace and Una critiqued "the soup that saved the ship."
"Not spicy enough," she said, and Chris rolled his eyes.
"It was unlikely that any of the pirates had your tolerance for spicy food, Una," Chris teased with a smile as he handed her the habanero sauce.
Una applied the sauce liberally and ate her chili in silence for a while, enjoying the feeling of being with Chris in his cozy quarters and eating food he'd made just for the two of them.
But as Una reached the bottom of her bowl, she began to find their silence worrisome. It wasn’t like Chris to be so quiet. Was he worried about the five missing hours? Was he thinking about what had happened on Majalis? Or Boreth?
Una snuck a glance at her best friend. He did look thoughtful, and so she started trying to think of a topic of conversation that would distract him.
She wanted to tell him about the puppy she’d gotten for La’an on Starbase One, but that really wasn’t a good idea as she hadn’t exactly gotten the proper approval to bring a pet on board.
The story of the missing five hours was certainly an interesting one, but she had agreed to let M’Benga tell Chris when he was ready, since Chris hadn’t known about Rukiya’s presence on the ship.
Una began to realize she was keeping quite a few secrets from her captain. But then, she ought to be used to that.
She had felt such relief when she told him she was Illyrian, but then she’d begun to doubt his acceptance of her, which she knew came from her own insecurities and Starfleet’s narrow minded policies rather than anything Chris had done or said. Nevertheless, she had never brought up the topic again, and neither had he. It hadn’t affected their friendship though.
But the biggest secret she’d kept from him for many years, almost since she met him, could affect their friendship.
Una came abruptly to the realization that she’d had enough of keeping secrets from the man she cared for so deeply. Without thinking much, she blurted out,
“When Spock first reported to the Enterprise as an ensign, he and I got stuck in a turblolift. For a few hours.”
Chris looked up from his chili and slowly raised his eyebrows. “Oh, really?” he asked. Una could see she had his full attention now.
“Yes. And…” Una thought about singing for–and with–the Vulcan, and looked down at her bowl as she felt a blush warm her face.
“Oh, really???” Chris said, clearly taking her blush as an admission of something much different than an impromptu sing-along.
“Oh, Chris, you know better,” Una brushed off his implication, swatting at his arm lightly.
“Well, stranger things have happened. And that was a few years ago, before he and T’Pring were engaged.”
“Yes. But, no. I did, however, share my secret talent with him.”
“Your secret talent???” Chris was leaning toward her in his seat now.
Una smiled. “Yes, I can sing. Old Earth musicals are my specialty.”
"And what, exactly, did you sing when you and Spock got stuck in the turbolift?" He asked with a grin.
She swallowed. "I sang 'Modern Major General' to him."
Una risked a quick glance at Chris. He looked slightly shell-shocked. He leaned back in his chair, rubbing his chin and frowning amusedly. Una knew he was probably trying to picture her singing. But he could not. After a few moments he looked at her again, smiling as if he'd just been given a new horse.
It had been quite a while since Una had seen that level of delighted interest from Chris. Maybe it was worth telling him.
“Will you give me a sample?” Chris asked, and when she looked down and smiled she heard him add, “Please???” Una knew he was using every ounce of charm he possessed and if she looked at him she wouldn’t be able to refuse. So she didn’t look.
Una stood up, took her bowl to the sink, and began washing it.
“Maybe someday. If we ever get stuck in a turbolift together,” Una tossed lightly over her shoulder with a chuckle.
Chris brought his bowl to the sink and picked up a dish towel, standing close enough for Una to feel his body heat.
I’ve missed this these past few weeks, Una thought.
* * *
The next time the Enterprise's command team had a bridge shift together was two days later. As the shift ended and Una walked away from her station, Captain Pike stepped into the turbo lift. He turned around and held the door open. "Going to the mess, Number One?"
Una smiled and stepped into the lift with him. She didn't see Cadet Uhura behind her, or the little shake of his head Chris gave Uhura as he let the doors slide shut before the confused cadet could enter the lift.
A few seconds later the turbolift stalled.
Una knew exactly what was happening. "I'm not singing." She said, firmly. Chris feigned innocence. Una rolled her eyes.
Una tried calling engineering. "We're a bit busy at the moment, Commander, but we'll get someone to fix the lift just as soon as we can!" was the somewhat insincere response she received.
Una glared at her captain.
He looked a little sheepish.
She sighed, looking around the lift and fidgeting a little before she settled her gaze on him again. He met her look, and Una recognized the determined set to his features.
Oh, Chris, she thought, as she continued to stare him down, do you really think you are more stubborn than me?
Finally, Chris broke their eye contact and said, "Well, we might as well do something, I told them to leave us in here for 45 minutes."
Una huffed out a sigh and rolled her eyes. She turned and held out her hand. Chris eyed it suspiciously before taking it.
"Hi, I'm Chris, nice to meet you?" he tried, raising a confused brow.
She rolled her eyes again and adjusted his hand in her grip to set them up for thumb wrestling. "On the count of three," she said.
"Una this is hardly fair–"
"One"
"You're genetically stronger than–"
"Two"
"This really isn't what I had in mind when–"
"Three."
She pinned his thumb before he even realized what was happening. Una looked up at Chris with a triumphant smile. His frown changed to a smile in return.
Suddenly, they both became very aware that they were still holding each other's hands.
Una met Chris's eyes. What she saw there made her catch her breath, but she couldn't look away. He leaned in a little. They remained frozen like this, hands clasped between them, lost in the depths of each other's gazes, until Una realized she had been holding her breath too long and needed air right away. She dropped Chris's hand and stepped back against the wall, focusing on the corner of the lift opposite her, and breathing.
Chris mirrored her movements, standing against the wall next to her with a handle between them.
Their arms were touching. Una became more and more conscious of this fact as the seconds ticked by.
She felt surrounded by his presence. Did he really plan this just to hear her sing? The corner became harder to focus on. Her friendship with Chris, the intensity of their bond, seemed like a tangible presence in the small space. Eventually, Una failed to stop her eyes from flitting to his face. Twice. The second time he was looking back at her. She turned her head toward him–she felt caught by his gaze, not wanting to be stuck there by feelings she had long kept hidden, but not wanting to look away. As a compromise she shifted her body away from his, only an inch or two, but enough that they were no longer touching. With her eyes still on him, Una saw Chris smile and look away, one dimple appearing for her on his cheek.
Is he embarrassed? Is he shy? Is he feeling what I feel? Una pulled her gaze away as the last question made her heart beat faster.
She gasped when his hand brushed the back of her own hand.
"Una--" he began.
"Chris--" she started to say, as they turned in unison to face each other. They both folded their arms, but as they looked at each other again Chris let his arms drop to his side.
"Una, I didn't think when I planned this..."
Una mirrored his actions, allowing her arms to unfold as well. As he searched for words--to describe what "this" was? To apologize?--she reached out and softly took a hold of his arm just above his wrist. She didn't want him to feel bad. It was just 45 minutes in a lift, after all.
She heard his breath catch.
Years--so many years--of loving this man, of keeping both her love for him and her true self hidden from him, flashed through Una's mind. Had it all been pointless? Had she been wrong? Had he--did he--return her feelings? Had she wasted so much time that they could have spent together, sharing so much more than friendship?
Holding his gaze, she shifted a tiny bit closer to him. He stepped a tiny bit closer to her. In an effort to slow her breathing and her racing heart, Una fell back on her favorite self calming technique, which was to focus on Chris's breathing. He was always her peaceful harbor in a storm. But, this time, his breathing was just as fast as her own.
Best to ride into the storm together then, Una thought, and brought her free hand up to rest on his shoulder.
He put his free hand on her hip.
Una let go of his wrist and moved her hand up his arm so that both her hands were resting on his shoulders.
Chris put his other hand on her other hip and pulled her a little closer as he said, “Una, I want to kiss you.”
Una wanted to enjoy the slow moment before the kiss–she had dreamed of this for so long after all. But as soon as she heard those softly spoken words a different part of her brain took over and she leaned toward him, lifting herself up on her toes that extra couple of inches without thinking, and closed her eyes to relish the sensation of his lips against hers.
Both her arms were around his neck. Her mostly human body urged Una to get closer to him, although they were already closer than they had ever been before. Nevertheless, Una tried to lean closer and ended up pushing Chris back against the side of the turbolift–fortunately between the handles. With her lips Una could feel him smile as he regained his footing and wrapped his arms around Una's body, gathering her even more closely to him.
With this the warmth that had overtaken Una's body spread to her heart, and, overwhelmed by the feeling that he loved her, and that she loved him, she felt tears leak from her eyes. Chris must have felt the change, because the kiss turned from passion to tenderness and he raised one hand to her face, wiping tears away as he oh, so slowly, ended the kiss. As he pulled back to look at her face, his eyes were filled with wonder.
With his thumb, Chris brushed away another tear from Una’s cheek. He cradled her face in his hands, his fingers weaving into the hair behind her ears. He leaned in, watching her carefully, and then kissed her lips so tenderly she barely felt the pressure, just a soft caress. As he broke the kiss and looked at her again Una felt more tears roll down her face. Chris wiped them away and began kissing her cheeks.
“Una,” he breathed between kisses, “why... are you…crying?”
The answer came to Una’s mind easily enough. “Because…”
But the words stuck.
Taking Chris’s face in her hands she guided his lips back to her own and kissed him with all the love she couldn’t seem to verbalize. Her fingers wrapped around the back of his head as she tried to put years of pent-up feelings into a kiss. She felt him return her passion, measure for measure.
Suddenly the turbo lift seemed much too small. They should be out among the stars, Una thought, like she had been when she signed the scorch. So much feeling didn’t seem right in such a tiny space.
Una ended the kiss as gently as she could and extricated herself. She took a couple of steps back just as the lift started moving again, causing her to stumble slightly. Chris reached out to her, putting his hand around her waist, but once she was steady he let go.
“Computer, halt lift,” Chris ordered.
“I’m fine,” Una said, knowing as soon as she said it that wasn’t a fair thing to say. She tried again, “I…” As she was trying to think of what words to use, Una realized her ponytail felt loose. She ran her hands over her hair and frowned as she realized it was a mess.
“I’m sorry,” Chris said.
Una looked at him intently. “I’m not sorry, Chris,” she said, and stepped toward him as she finished, “not one bit.”
Una kissed Chris one more time, briefly, but firmly and with determination.
Then she stepped back again. “But I need some time.”
Chris nodded. “Of course,” he said, not taking his eyes off of her for a few silent moments. Then he looked up and said,
“Computer, resume lift.”
As they neared their deck, Chris looked at Una one more time. He stepped toward her, stopping by her side to whisper in her ear.
“I meant I was sorry for messing up your hair.”
Then the lift stopped, and Captain Pike stepped out.