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Mike bursts through the door,
he stood shaking and panting, the light shimmer of adrenaline and panic filled sweat gleaming on his skin, illuminated by the artificial lights of the apartment, shadowed by the blanket of darkness outside.
His eyes were wide, his pupils were tiny.
The boy in the doorway panted heavily as his tanned, freckled shoulders heaved up and down,
up and down,
up and down.
His brown curls bounced to the beat of his breath.
Jeremy looked to the door,
“Hey Mikey wassup?”
he nonchalantly asked, seemingly unaware of his boyfriends panicked state,
kind of.
Jeremy paused, confused,
normally Mike would respond gleefully and rush in to hug him, but he was just, standing there?
Mike was looking at everything and yet, he was looking at nothing. He was, sweaty? and he looked almost …scared?
Almost. Michael Afton was never scared.
Not around anybody else at least.
Scared was bad.
When people look scared bad things happen.
Jeremy didn’t want anything bad to EVER happen to michael afton.
Something was very VERY wrong.
Michael made a sudden break for his bedroom, leaving a stunned Jeremy sitting on the apartment couch.
…
the cool night wind pushed the door father open,
…
Jeremy sprung into action,
“fuck fuck FUCK DUDE.”
The blonde man garbled as he sprang into action, shutting the door as quietly as he could (as not to startle mike) and making a beeline for his boyfriend’s room.
Fuck, they had been dating for months now, how had Jeremy NEVER seen him like this? Was there anything he could do?
Jeremy flung open Mike’s door.
He had to help, he had to fix things, he had to be there for his lover-
Michael turned to face the blonde man,
he was hunched over, sitting on his bed, eyes wide, face red, puffy, and stressed. His skin was tear stained, his hands waiting for a weeping Michael to throw his face back into them.
…Did this happen often?
Jeremy sat down next to the brunette,
trying his best to diffuse the tension between both of them.
“Can I touch you?” the blonde gently asked, refraining from any and all physical contact before Mike gave him the go ahead,
he was waiting for the go ahead.
The other man removed his sniffling face from his hands and looked to his boyfriend, then after a couple of seconds of aimlessly staring, he suddenly buried his face in the other man’s shoulder.
Jeremy wrapped his arms around Michael,
nuzzling into him and gently massaging the other man’s brown hair,
“It’s ok Mikey, I’m here, you’re safe, you’re home.”
The only thing mike responded with was a sniffle.
the blonde man continued to reassure his boyfriend and hold him close,
Jeremy Fitzgerald was going to be there for Michael Afton, and goddammit, he was going to fix EVERYTHING.
After a few minutes Mike seemed to calm down and relax, slumping into Jeremy’s grasp, sniffles far and few between.
“can you talk?”
Mike shook his head
“That’s alright Mikey”
Jeremy patted the other man’s head,
“You wanna do something fun or do you wanna stay here a bit longer? Nod for fun, shake for stay here.”
Mike slowly nodded as Jeremy started to get up.
“Ok fun it is!”
A groan emitted from the taller man due to the now startling lack of a warm boyfriend.
The blonde giggled a bit,
“C’mon Mikey! I’ll only be gone for a minute, I need to get the arts n’ crafts supplies!”
Michael puffed out his bottom lip and looked at jeremy with the biggest, saddest puppydog eyes he could manage.
Augh! cuteness overload!
“Oh my god, cut it out ya goof!”
Jeremy quickly ran over and gave the other man a peck on the forehead,
“I love you so much dumba-“
the blonde haired man was quickly cut off when Mike used both of his arms to heave Jeremy onto the bed, both of them colliding on top of eachother, the two boys erupting into fits of giggles, Mike peppering the other boy’s face with little kisses.
When the giggling finally subsided Jeremy gently whispered to Mike,
“You’re gonna be the death of me afton”
before grabbing the others hand and giving it a good squeeze.
Mike wanted to say,
“I know”
but instead he just laid there, gazing deep into Jeremy’s eyes.
“Ok now I ACTUALLY have to get the paper! I know I’m SO amazing but we GOTTA make a collage!”
Oh god, don’t leave don’t leave. Please.
Mike reached out his hand as the other mode his way to the doorframe,
“Actually-“
The blonde stopped and turned around, looking at Mike, waiting for him to continue.
“I- I’m ready to talk now”
Jeremy smiled at him and sat down on the bed.
‘Wow’ Mike thought,
Jeremy’s smile shone like the sun, it lit up his slightly dimmed room,
it was the light of his life,
he would plunge into the ocean any day if it meant he would be closer to that boy,
his sunshine.
…
Right, he was gonna talk about it…
Mike’s face grew grim even thinking about this THING that happened,
“Hey… Mikey? It’s, it’s ok, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
Michael glanced at his boyfriend’s face
“No, no I- I want to tell you… I’m just- I’m… tried.. of keeping secrets from everyone, I’m tired of hiding my feelings, I just want to be open for once and…”
Jeremy listened
“…a- and I’m scared…
Jeremy I’m scared and I don’t know what to do.”
Mike felt like crying again,
but instead
Jeremy placed a hand along Mike’s jaw.
“Hey, it’s ok, we all get scared, and you’re valid for feeling that way, I’m glad you trust me enough to be vulnerable around me, I know that’s hard for you.”
Jeremy smiled and gazed at his lover, slightly tilting his head,
Michael leaned into the touch of his boyfriend,
“Thank you Jeremy. I love you so much.”
“I love you too”
Jeremy always listens
The taller man took a deep breath, looking away from the blonde, who put his hand back in his lap, waiting patiently,
Michael didn’t want anyone to see him like this, yet here he was, spilling to a man he had known for a couple months,
…
‘don’t say that, Jerm is your closest friend, hell, your boyfriend.’
Mike trusted him with his life and more,
‘My boyfriend deserves the right to see me at my worst’
“Whenever you’re ready”
“I- I’m ready”
Don’t fuck this up Mike.
“I was…I was out.
And I decided to stop and eat, at a new restaurant! I never eat anywhere new,
so I was already on edge, plus I was… “
He paused for a moment, meekly adding,
“…I was missing you… “
Before continuing with
“I- I didn’t really feel brave, like you tell me to be, but I was hungry, and I was feeling spontaneous… and-“
mike turned his head completely the other way.
If anybody saw his face they would know he was sad, that he was struggling,
that he was weak.
If he showed any weakness he was a failure,
if he was a failure nobody would love him, nobody would ever be proud of him.
“I… I saw a bear mascot.. it-”
Michael forced down a sob, his face puffing and contorting once again,
“It looked like fredbear…”
Mike sniffed and hiccuped as tears started to flow again, down and further down, burning hot stripes into his flesh.
“I- it- it remin- reminded me of h- him”
The brunette’s hands flew to cover his face,
Shame shame shame shame, is that all he knew?
“Jeremy I’m a monster… I killed my own BROTHER!”
The shorter man pulled his lover into a tight hug,
“You aren’t a monster mikey, it was an accident.”
“what’s- what’s wrong with me…”
Mike mumbled,
“Why can’t I do anything right? Why can’t I just be normal like everyone else? why does everything bad always happen to me??
why- …why did I do that? Why did he have to die?? why why why why WHY?? It’s all my fault Jeremy it’s all my fault, I’m- I’m- Jeremy- I’m”
“Mikey-”
“I’m sorry Jeremy, I’m so so so so so sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry,
this is all my fault… I don’t- I don’t deserve you… you should get a boyfriend who isn’t a murderer… like me…”
the blonde haired boy gently grabbed his boyfriends chin, guiding Mike to look at him
“Michael listen to me, you are not a monster, you were a kid, you didn’t mean to, it was an accident. It’s not your fault, it’s never been your fault, you are worth everything and I love you so much. I deserve you just as much as you deserve me.”
Mike couldn’t stand to look at Jeremy
“B- but I wanted him to be scared! I wanted to hurt him, I- I wanted dad to be proud of me…”
His eyes hurt, they hurt a lot, from tears, from looking at his own reflection, from the loud lights, from everything, michael afton is hurting so bad, and nothing could fix it.
Jeremy suddenly got up, turned off the lights in Michael’s bedroom, grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around the crying brunette, bringing him into a tight hug once again, whispering into his ear,
I love you mike, you are worth the world to me, what happened isnt your fault, you just wanted to make your dad proud, and if you thought that’s what would do so, that’s because of HIS behavior. You were only 14, you didn’t know any better Michael.
I’m here for you, it’s ok to be scared, you are safe. you are amazing, you are home,
I love you.”
The taller boy said nothing, he just looked at Jeremy.
Then, he laid down, melting into the blanket wrapped around him,
Jeremy laid down as well, their hands intertwining.
For once mike felt calm, he felt happy.
“J- Jerm?”
“Yes Mikey?”
“Did you ever lock the door?”
“Uhh… no”
“What if someone breaks in?”
“Well I’ll fight them off with my bare hands, and if I lose, I’d be happy to die by your side.”
In response Mike just nuzzled closer to his boyfriend, his perfect boyfriend.
Maybe Michael would never be fixed, maybe he would always be hurting,
but Jeremy was his painkiller.