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What they had certainly wasn’t love at first sight. What they had was more than a love that had happened over the countless number of hours they had spent bonding and getting to know one another.
It was love that came with baggage on both ends, yet it stemmed from a place of being able to understand and offer comfort when it was needed, and sometimes even when it wasn’t.
It was their love, and that’s why it was special, despite all the ups and downs that they had to go through in order to get here.
What they had wasn’t perfect, it never was and it probably was never going to be, but it was theirs and that’s all they could ask for. Hawks was thankful for all of this though because he still had Dabi around regardless of it all.
Almost a year ago he wasn’t sure that he would get another moment like the one he was in now. He wasn’t sure that he would ever get to run his fingers through Dabi’s hair and scratch at his scalp, or feel the warmth of his skin against his own. He wasn’t sure that he would ever get to hold his hand or just be near him like this again.
But somehow it all seemed to work out.
They were fortunate enough to be here, where they were now. It seemed as though everything had fallen into place despite the fact that what they had seemed almost taboo given who they were as individuals. Hawks, a hero who protected civilians and anyone else in need, and Dabi, a man who had killed a numerous amount of people and fought against everything that hero society stood for. They were two sides of the same coin.
But it wasn’t always that way. Back when they were younger things were so much different. They were two kids who had met because Endeavor arrested Hawks’ dad. They were two kids who seemed to get along almost instantly over how badly they wanted to become heroes when they got older, how they both so badly wanted to be just like Endeavor. They were two kids who would talk nonstop about going to UA together. How, once they graduated, they would become a hero team and work together, maybe even work at Endeavor’s agency before they started their own. They were just two kids who seemed to have so many goals and aspirations to work towards in order to be this unstoppable pair…
… until that wasn’t what happened at all. Things changed when Hawks got taken in by… no, sold to the Commission, and when Touya had supposedly died all those years ago in the forest during the fire he had started. Things took wildly different turns for each of them, not playing out the exact way that had hoped for.
Sure, Hawks went on to become a hero. A great hero, in fact, right behind Endeavor in the rankings. But Dabi… he had his fall from Grace. He sought to destroy everything that he had once idolized so much as a child just to spite his father, which even meant hurting Hawks in the process… to which he felt nothing, not even a tiny bit of remorse. Touya truly had died that day in the fire, letting Dabi be reborn from the flames.
Before he, or the world, knew who Dabi truly was, Hawks felt drawn to him. Something about him seemed so familiar that he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. It was a comfortable sort of presence that seemed to just pull in the winged hero despite who Dabi was. But after the whole grand televised reveal where everything came to light it all seemed to make complete sense to him.
Hawks spent a long time, too long, being mad at him, hating him even. After all the things they had shared with each other on the roof of the League’s old hideout while under the stars, Dabi never said a single word to him about any of this. He continued to let Hawks believe that he was just a stranger with a familiar face. He still didn’t fully understand why he wasn’t just told the truth… but he supposed Dabi had his reasons. And Hawks spent so much time hating him for what he had done to him, what he had taken away from him… those scars never fully healing, and leaving behind the memories of the trauma he had gone through.
So why couldn’t he just move on? That was the question that Hawks seemed to ask himself every day despite it all. He asked himself why he still found himself waking up every morning slowly losing the desire to be angry at the other man, and found himself somehow missing that part of himself… because for whatever stupid reason Dabi was his other half, the person he just couldn’t seem to get over no matter how much he had tried.
It hurt his heart to watch Dabi slowly descend deeper and deeper down a hole of hatred and spite he was afraid he would never return from, to watch him slowly burn himself and unravel just to destroy his own father. There wasn’t anything Hawks could do to fix that, not really, the only option he had was to simply sit there and let it happen.
He remembered the phone call that he had received from Endeavor saying they had caught Dabi. He remembered rushing over to the scene just in time to see him getting shoved into the back of a police car, his maniacal laughter hitting his ears as all he could do was watch in disbelief that it had reached this point. He remembered when their eyes met and the big wicked smile that spread across Dabi’s face when that happened, it was then that Hawks realized that he was too far gone to be saved. But he somehow couldn’t come to terms with accepting that.
He refused to talk to anyone about what had happened, even Rumi. He couldn’t even confide in his best friend about what he was feeling, because she just wouldn’t understand. At least, that’s what he thought anyway. She had tried to get him to open up a countless number of times… but Hawks always shut her out or ignored her question. He remembered the countless number of sleepless nights and all the nightmares that he had, how everything was slowly eating away at him until he just couldn’t take it anymore. He shouldn’t have kept any of this bottled up.
The first time he saw Dabi again was months after he had been arrested, he had finally worked up the courage to go visit him. He wanted to say his piece, wanted to get everything off his chest and walk away from it all. But of course, all of that changed when their eyes met again.
He just couldn’t let him go… because Hawks had fallen too far down a hole of his own. He was so madly in love with this man that he wasn’t sure he could ever actually let him go no matter how hard he tried. It was somewhere between their long talks when it had happened, he couldn’t quite pinpoint when, but his heart wanted what it wanted and he couldn’t argue with that.
He remembered the talk they shared that day. It was the first time he had gotten Dabi to open up with him, actually open up with him, and be honest. It was the first time he heard Dabi say he actually cared about him, but he didn’t regret anything that he did, which hurt a little to hear. Hawks wasn’t sure how long they had spoken for that day, but he had said what he needed to say and he had left it at that.
Hawks had started to do better as time had passed him by. Things had slowly started to return to normal and the hero society had started to rebuild itself up from the ashes Dabi had left it in. But a part of him still felt empty inside, his heart was broken and unmended, and he felt like he was missing a part of himself. Which he was. He was missing the other half of himself despite how much he was trying not to.
Hawks had visited Dabi a lot while he was in prison, and everything seemed to fall back into place. He remembered why he had fallen in love with him, why he couldn’t get over him. It was because of all the memories they had shared, because of everything they had been through together. It was the things that made Hawks smile, the things that had helped form so many wonderful and loving memories.
Hawks just wasn’t willing to throw all of that away. He couldn’t, no matter how hard he tried.
It had taken a long time for them to get to the place they were at now. A lot of therapy, a lot of forgiveness on Hawks' end, and a lot of court dates and rehabilitation on Dabi’s end. But they had made it work despite what others had told him and despite whatever others had thought about their relationship as a whole. Hawks never was one to listen to anything anyone had to say anyway, and of course… Neither was Dabi.
It had been a few years since all of that happened. They had come a long way since Dabi made the world crash and burn around them, how he managed to damage hero society with one stupid announcement. And Hawks was proud, so proud, of all the progress the two of them had made since then that had led them to the now.
Dabi was asleep, currently, his head resting on Hawks’ lap as the blonde ran his fingers through white hair. Everything around them was silent except for Dabi’s soft snores that filled the room; his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. While the television was on, no sound played as Hawks made sure the volume was turned all the way down so as to not wake the other. Dabi was peaceful when he slept, much more peaceful than he could ever be while awake. It was moments like this, the tiniest of moments, that Hawks truly cherished. He took in Dabi’s features, memorized all of them, and simply smiled to himself.
Hawks shifted a bit in his seat, doing his best to try and not wake the other, and so far so good. Dabi remained sound asleep, only making a groan before shifting a bit himself. He turned his head towards Hawk’s chest, moving an arm and wrapping it around the blonde’s waist to hold him gently.
Hawks smiled, laughing a little before he leaned down to plant a gentle kiss on Dabi's temple. And somehow that was what had managed to wake the other, as Dabi’s eyes opened slowly. He blinked away the sleep, his hair falling over his eyes as he moved, and yawned, “heh. Thanks.”
“I thought you were sleeping.”
“I was, until about, oh I don’t know, a few seconds ago.”
“Sorry.”
“Why?” He reached up to cup the blonde’s cheek, letting his thumb brush back and forth across slightly scarred freckled skin.
“Because my kiss woke you up from your nap.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Hawks leaned into the touch, putting a hand over the top of the others and giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. All the while he was looking at Dabi’s face, seeing how his eyes were filled with nothing but adoration for the blonde, noticing how there was a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. It was a soft side, a gentler side, that only Hawks ever got to see.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” he pushed himself up a bit with his free hand, managing to give Hawks a gentle kiss before resuming his place resting in his lap. “I’m sure.”
“Positive?”
“Mmhm,” another yawn, “I’m positive.”
Hawks went back to running his fingers through Dabi’s hair, his eyes still locked with the others as he couldn’t help but smile. He watched as Dabi’s eyes slowly closed again, falling back into a place of comfort at the simple scratches he was receiving on his scalp. He turned his face just a bit to press light kisses into the other’s palm. The hand he had holding Dabi’s moving down to rest comfortably on the other’s chest.
“Hey,” he felt Dabi poke his cheek. “Can I tell you something?”
“Yeah, of course, you can. You can tell me anything you want to. What is it?”
“Thanks for not giving up on me,” he told Hawks, his voice filled with sincerity.
“We’ve been through a lot…” he said to him. He knew Dabi knew that, but he felt the need to point it out. “And it took us a lot to get here.”
“I know. But you still never gave up on me regardless of all the bullshit I put you through.”
“But Touya you have to understand that I wouldn’t have tried so hard if I didn’t care about you. You know that, right?”
“I know. And that’s why I’m saying thank you.”
Hawks’ heart swelled with happiness and joy, overflowing with so much love and adoration. Dabi really had come such a long way from being the man he used to be to get to where he was now. It wasn’t an easy road, Hawks knew that much, but it was worth it all. Or at least he thought so, anyway.
Because he liked this version of Dabi. He liked the person Dabi had become. And, sure, he still wasn’t perfect, no one was, but he was making progress to move forward in the right direction in order to become a better person and move past who he used to be.
“You don’t need to thank me, Touya.”
He smiled again when Hawks said his name, “I wanted to though.”
Hawks was happy with where they were in life. With all the progress they had made together and how far along they had come. They were growing together, learning together. Each of them overcame the hardships of their past together. And sure, Dabi had it a lot rougher than Hawks did, but that never stopped the blonde from being by his side every step of the way. He wanted to help him become a better version of himself, help him work through everything that had happened, and let him know that while what happened wasn’t okay, it was okay to learn how to forgive yourself for the mistakes that you’ve made. It was a healing process they were both going through together, and that was enough for him.
Their relationship wasn’t perfect, far from it actually, and they both knew that. But it was their relationship, and neither one of them would have it any other way.