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Will’s head hurts. He’s developed a massive headache from all the stress of the day, and sobbing in the van on the way to find El didn’t make it better. It made it much, much worse.
So now, as he stares down into the salty water he and Jonathan are stirring, all he can feel is his broken heart and headache.
His attempt to convey his feelings to Mike was a total bust, he broke down and for nothing, since Mike didn’t even realize what Will was trying to say. It’s useless at this point, Mike is completely infatuated with Eleven. Not that Will blames him, she’s beautiful and funny and smart and kind, he loves his sister. But he’s still… Jealous.
The truth is, Will is in love with his best friend.
With Mike.
There’s nothing he can do about it, he’s tried getting over him, and it just never works. Mike has him practically by the throat, and doesn’t even know it. His heart belongs to him, and he isn’t even aware of it.
“Will? Are you okay?”
Will snaps out of his thoughts, looking up at Jonathan.
“What? Yeah, yeah i’m good.” Will says, somewhat shakily. He’s been like this since his conversation with Mike, shaky. Fragile.
“You sure? It seems like you’ve got something going on.” Jonathan says. Will furrows his brows, does he know?
”W-What no, no, i’m good. Nothings going on, why would you think that?” Will says defensively. Jonathan holds his hands up in surrender, pausing from his stirring.
“Okay, okay. Just… worried, ‘s all.” Jonathan says, keeping his voice soft but sincere. Wills shrugs, and continues adding and stirring salt into the water.
“…Do you remember when you got that lego stuck up your nose?” Jonathan asks, smiling slightly.
“What?” Will asks, confused about where this was coming from.
“Yeah, it was that guy with the hat? Do you remember?” Jonathan says, making gestures with his hands to spark Will’s memory. He sort of does recall it, now that Jonathan mentions it.
“I mean- Vaguely?”
Jonathan explains how he was worried about him, and how funny it was at the same time.
“I had to get a pair of tweezers to get it out.”
“Bull”
”I swear!” Says Jonathan, laughing. He hesitates. “You used to come to me for help more, then. You don’t do that anymore. And I- I miss just… talking to you, Will. And right now, we should be talking more than ever.” Jonathan says. Will opens his mouth to say something, but Jonathan beats him to it. “And I know that’s mostly my fault, I know I’ve been distant.” He says.
“Or stoned.” Will adds.
“Yeah, or stoned. But- That wasn’t about you. That was me, dealing with my own shit.” He says.
“I’ll always be there for you, Will. And i’ll always love you, no matter what. You’re my brother.” Jonathan says, smiling at Will.
Will sniffles, his eyes are watery and when he tries to speak, it comes out croaky and broken from crying. “I’ll- I’ll always be there for you too.” He gets out, laughing slightly at his teary eyed state and the sound of his voice.
“C’mere” Jonathan says quietly before pulling Will into a tight hug, gripping the backs of his shoulders and holding tight.
Will breaks down. He sobs into Jonathan’s shirt, his hands gripping the back of his shirt while he cries.
When he calms down after a minute or two, he looks up at Jonathan teary eyed, face wet and splotchy from crying.
“You know you can tell me anything, right Will?” Jonathan says, trying to nudge Will in the right direction, but also giving him room to make his own choice.
“Y-Yeah. I know.” He says, sniffling. Jonathan smiles sadly, wishing he could let his brother know he can trust him.
They go back to stirring for a moment, until Jonathan looks at Will and says “I think it’s ready.” Will nods, and Jonathan makes his way to the door. Will thinks for a moment, if he’s going to be in mortal danger soon, and there’s much more pressing matters than his own issues right now, maybe it wouldn’t be a bad time to tell Jonathan. Maybe he wouldn’t focus on it long enough to really care, and be unsupportive.
“W-Wait! Jonathan,” Will takes a deep breath as Jonathan stops in his tracks and looks back at Will, hope written across his face. “I… I have something to tell you.” He says.
Jonathan nods and walks back over to him, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder, “What is it?” Jonathan says, urging him to go on.”
“I…” Will starts to say shakily, but his throat closes and he starts to panic and he can’t think straight and he feels like he’s crying and dying and the words won’t come out of him. Then he looks at Jonathan, calm as ever, and his kind and reassuring smile gives Will all the strength he needs.
“I’m gay.”
He did it. He said it. He ripped the bandaid off. Now for the really scary part, Jonathan’s reaction.
He immediately pulls Will into a hug, and Will starts sobbing again.
“Shh, It’s okay, Will, I love you.” Jonathan says comfortingly.
Will pulls back to look at Jonathan.
“You don’t… You aren’t mad?” Will says nervously.
“Of course not, Will. Of course not. I’d never be mad at you for something like this. I’m proud of you.” He says.
I’m proud of you.
Those words echo in Will’s head as he ducks back into the safety and comfort of Jonathan’s arms. Everything’s going to be okay.