Work Text:
[You belong with me - Taylor Swift.]
You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do
Harry was on his bed in his room, watching Louis pacing from where he was, on the phone with his girlfriend.
“El-” he tried but the woman was having apparently none of it.
She kept yelling and yelling.
Harry couldn't hear much of what she was saying, but that he could gather.
Louis rolled his eyes suddenly.
“Please, can I-”
But still no.
And suddenly,
Suddenly Harry heard it.
Clear as day in the quiet room.
“This is so not right, Louis! You have to see it! You can’t call your best friend "fucking pretty" to your girlfriend and just expect me to be fine with when that’s something you won’t even say to me!” she yelled and Harry froze, his heart stopped.
Louis froze, too.
Tension palpable
The older one chanced a look at Harry but the curly one pretended to be busy in his notes, and when he looked up, Louis' cheeks were red but he was looking elsewhere.
“It was a joke.” he murmured but his voice was so unsure.
Harry let out a deep sigh at that.
And then focused on his homework again, even if his thoughts were now solely on Louis and the relationship they had.
Harry and Louis.
Best friends since they were 7 years old, when Harry's family had moved in right next to the Tomlinson's. Their mothers had been friends right away and the boys had started spending a lot of time together, it had never stopped.
It was now almost 11 years later, Harry was a senior in high school, Louis was in Year 2 in University and they were still as close as ever.
Best friends in the whole world.
Really.
At least on Louis' part.
Because Harry had a secret.
A dark secret.
A secret he was having more and more trouble keeping to himself.
Harry was in love with Louis.
Had been since he realized it almost two years ago for his 16th birthday when Louis had taken him to Paris as a gift ( planned with the help and consent of both of their mothers of course) and Harry had spent the entire trip wanting to kiss him.
So, there was that.
They had done it all together and when Louis had graduated before Harry, it had been awful.
But they had managed, were still in the same town so it didn't really change much in the end.
But then Louis had met someone about 8 months ago, and Harry's heart had been crushed to dust.
“El, I can’t talk to you when you’re like that. See you tomorrow.” groaned Louis loudly, bringing Harry out of his thoughts before he saw his best friend hang up the phone angrily.
And then the older one sighed wearily before he climbed on Harry's bed to join Harry, settling by his sides and nuzzling his shoulder before he laid his head there in a content sigh.
Harry shivered from head to toes but said nothing.
It was no unusual for them.
They did that kind of things all of the time.
They were close, okay?
They were close in a touchy kind of way, had always been.
It wasn’t weird.
(It wasn’t.)
What was weird was that Harry couldn’t picture doing that with anyone else.
Now, that was weird.
But he wouldn’t dwell on that.
Refused to.
Harry was 18, had been friends with Louis for 11 years by now and he refused to overthink their relationship just because his feelings had changed.
He refused to lose Louis because he wasn't strong enough to keep his stupid feelings in check.
So yeah, he refused to think too much about everything.
“Sometimes, I wonder why I’m even with her.” suddenly said Louis, quite out of the blue.
Harry froze again and looked down at his best friend, blue eyes lost in consideration.
“Really?” he asked slowly.
Louis hummed but still didn't look at Harry.
“Yes, really.”
A small silence and then Harry wrapped his arm around Louis’ shoulders, bringing him always closer to him and the older one went willingly, nuzzling against his chest.
(Could he feel how fast Harry’s heart was beating?)
And God, Louis smelt so fucking good.
The intimacy had Harry spilling out his thoughts before his brain could stop him.
“You deserve something better than that.” admitted Harry quietly. Louis tensed but said nothing. “You deserve someone who won’t spend their time screaming at you for fucking non sense. You deserve everything, Lou.” he ended as quietly as he had started.
(Because he wasn't really sure he wasn't over-stepping.)
Louis said nothing.
He only closed his eyes and buried his face in Harry's jumper.
But he didn't defend Eleanor.
And the truth was…
If Harry was really honest with himself.
Things had been quite different between them, lately.
Not very different, but the shift was very obvious to Harry who spent his days and night thinking about Louis.
It had been a few weeks now.
Louis was different.
He was clingier to Harry, softer, sweeter.
The way he looked at him, the way he touched him.
It wasn't quite the same as it was before.
It was everything and more.
It confused Harry a lot.
(Because he was bloody afraid he had finally lost in mind and was over-analyzing everything.)
But he didn't feel like he was, right now.
Because Louis didn't say a word to defend Eleanor.
Not a word.
And a few weeks ago, before the shift - as Harry refered to it, he would have done so albeit weakly, but still.
And now he plainly didn't even bother.
Instead, he snuggled even closer to Harry if possible and let out a deep, shaky breath.
(Taking all of Harry’s away.)
I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do
It was Tuesday night, and Harry was chilling in his bedroom.
Usually on week nights he would go out to a cafe with Louis and the squad, but he had felt tired and had a big test on the next day so he had bailed.
Louis had seemed quite disappointed on the phone, but he had understood and wished Harry luck for his test, saying he was going to ace the thing.
(And it was one of the thing Harry loved the most, how supportive Louis always was.)
Louis.
As usual, the blue-eyed man was all Harry could think about.
As usual.
Harry groaned and laid down on his bed, looking a the ceiling and forgetting about his notes.
And he knew.
He knew.
He fucking knew he had to stop thinking about his best friend this way.
He knew it.
He knew he had to move on and let Louis live his life.
But this fucking shift in their relationship had hope crashing into his heart, and he had trouble keeping it back.
It didn’t help him to let go.
Harry sighed, The Fray playing softly on the background.
And of course, he had chosen to listen to the Fray.
Of fucking course.
Because they were Louis’ favourite band, ever.
Harry smiled, remembering they had got to see them on concert together, because Eleanor didn’t like them for some reasons.
Eleanor.
Harry frowned when he thought about the woman.
He really didn’t know what they were doing together.
It didn’t make any sense.
But then again, Harry might be biased.
Might be genetically made to hate that woman.
He groaned again and laid an arm over his eyes.
He should go to sleep and stop thinking too much.
(Easier said than done now that he had started, though.)
He remembered how much it had hurt, the day Louis had said he had met someone.
But it was nothing compared to how much it had hurt when he had admitted he was dating said someone.
Harry's heart squeezed at the thought.
8 months ago and yet it still hurt as if it happened yesterday.
They were both sat on Louis’ bed in his dorm, Harry finishing some homework and Louis smiling in front of his phone while he waited for him to be done.
Harry was frowning.
Louis was smiling in front of his phone.
He was doing a lot of that, lately.
It made Harry uncomfortable.
Because he knew that fond smile.
Normally, it was at the end of that fond smile.
Then Louis looked up, blue eyes crinkling.
“I’ve told how I met someone.” he said, quite out of the blue.
Harry swallowed, tried a smile but didn't really manage to so he looked down at his notes, even if the words didn't make any bloody sense anymore.
“Yes Lou, you did.”
And he knew.
He did.
He didn't want to know more.
Louis had mentioned a girl in his Drama class, a girl who came back a lot.
Pretty, funny, nice-
Blah blah blah
(Harry was dying with jealousy.)
(It was everything he had been afraid of, when Louis had gone to College on his own.)
“Yep.” smiled Louis. “She’s really great.”
“That’s amazing, Lou.” he said but he wanted to cry.
And would Louis be able to catch the sarcasm in his voice?
Apparently not.
“Okay, I can’t keep it a secret any longer. Not from you.” he giggled and that made Harry freeze.
Since when did Louis fucking giggle?!
“What secret?”
“We’re dating.” he beamed. “Like for real. I took her out the other day, we kissed and everything. It’s official!”
Harry’s world stopped and collapsed.
Louis smiled, blue eyes crinkling and so obviously happy.
And Harry should have been prepared was the thing.
But this…
This hurt a lot more than he had thought it would.
He opened the mouth, closed it.
A minute.
Two.
Still no reaction.
And then Louis lost his smile, blue eyes filling with concern and something else Harry couldn’t quite name.
“H?”
Harry swallowed.
But no.
He couldn’t.
He could feel the walls climbing up.
Could feel himself trying to find a way out with the rest of his pride and heart.
He closed his notebook harshly and Louis jumped.
“It’s great, Louis.” he said and Louis frowned.
“Louis?”
“Well, that’s your bloody name, isn’t it?” Harry snapped and he saw the surprise on Louis’ features.
“Wow, Harry-”
“Actually, I have to go.” said the younger one, putting his things in his bag.
Louis' eyes were wide and lost.
“What?”
Harry got up, but Louis did too and tried to stop him.
But he couldn’t.
Not this time.
“It’s late.”
“But-”
“I’ve promised my mum I’d come home early.”
“Harry, please-”
But Harry shook his head and left.
He didn’t want Louis to see him cry.
(He avoided Louis for days, after that.)
It had taken weeks for them to get back to normal, they never actually talked about why Harry had reacted this way and the result was that they never ever talked about the relationship between Louis and Eleanor after that.
Never.
Or very, very little.
An annoying noise brought Harry out of his daydream and he smiled when he realized what it was.
Or rather…
Who it was.
Harry smiled again and Louis rolled his eyes fondly, picturing at him to open the window.
And really, Louis had been climbing Harry’s window for years by now.
Since they were 10.
Both of their parents’ were aware of that fact, had even bought a ladder when it became clear there were no tearing the teenagers apart.
It had not stopped at their age.
(Harry loved it.)
He got up and opened the window,
"And what on Earth are you doing here?" he smirked.
Louis smirked back, that smile that made his eyes crinkle (and Harry's heart stopped, as it always did).
"I was called on by the Fray." Louis raised an eyebrow and Harry laughed when he realized the music was still on.
"And you say I'm the dork."
Louis chuckled and came in,
"I just know you before a test." he said softly, "I knew you'd be all overthinking everything while we both know you're so smart H that you're gonna ace the bloody thing."
Harry blushed.
"You really mean that?"
Louis smiled and took a step to the curly one, taking his hand and squeezing it softly.
(Harry never wanted him to let go.)
"I really, really do." blue eyes locked onto green. "I believe in you, Haz. More than you could ever know." God, Harry wanted to kiss him. He opened the mouth, closed it and then Louis smirked, "Plus, the night was dull without you." he shrugged like it was nothing and Harry chuckled before he went back to his bed, plopping on it and taking a deep breath to release all of the fucking sexual tension he was feeling right now.
When he looked up from where he was, Louis' head was tilted and his smile so fond as his blue eyes studied him.
"Are you just gonna stand there all night and look at me?" teased Harry but he could feel his cheeks heating.
Louis shook his head and blushed before he hopped in bed beside Harry, both looking at the ceiling in comfortable silence while the music was playing.
And then...
"I don't understand how you're still single, Haz." the blue-eyed man said, so softly Harry first thought he had dreamt it.
He swallowed dryly.
"Maybe I'm waiting for the right person." he murmured, "Or maybe my right person doesn't want to be with me." his voice broke, along with his heart.
His right person was in love with someone else.
Louis scoffed.
"Well your right person is a bloody idiot."
Harry wanted to cry.
Like, for real.
"He really is." he murmured and then felt Louis' eyes on him and he froze, before looking at his bestfriend and the furrow between his brows.
They stared at each other for a very long time.
Nothing more needed to be said.
(Or neither of them were brave enough to say it, Harry wasn't sure.)
"Can I stay here tonight?" murmured Louis, blue eyes so vulnerable suddenly.
And it wasn't fair.
It wasn't fair that Louis spent his night with Harry but he didn't get to call him his.
It wasn't.
It turned Harry petty, suddenly.
"Weren't you supposed to spend the night at El's?"
And the words felt like ash in his mouth.
They had a silent pact to talk about Louis’ girlfriend very little and it was fine with Harry as it was.
Louis looked down, frowning slightly.
"I'd rather not talk about it, if you don't mind."
Harry sighed.
He had never been able to say no to Louis.
It wouldn't start today.
"Okay. You know where everything is anyway." he rolled his eyes and Louis chuckled happily.
This wasn't new either, they did it all of the time.
Louis slept in Harry's room,
Harry in Louis' dorm.
It wasn't unusual, per say.
So they got ready to bed together and fuck, it was so domestic Harry hated that he loved it so much.
And then they were in bed, and Harry turned his back to Louis to try and get some sleep like they always did...
But then time stopped.
Along with his heart.
And everything else.
Because Louis moved on the bed until he was spooning him.
Louis Tomlinson was snuggled against his back, soft body against Harry's and face nuzzled against his neck, an arm around Harry's waist protectively.
And fuck, he was holding him so tight, like he was afraid he would disappear, somehow.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
This was new.
(Harry loved it already.)
That was-
"Is this okay?" murmured Louis, so shyly suddenly.
Harry nodded because he didn't trust his voice to speak, and then quite boldly his hand found Louis' around his waist, intertwining their fingers.
Shit, it felt right.
He could feel Louis' smile against his neck as he laid a small kiss there.
Harry shivered from head to toes.
And yes, yes a voice was annoyingly murmuring in his head that it wasn't normal.
It wasn't friendship.
In all of their years as friends, they had never ever slept in such a position.
Never.
But Harry tuned it down and chose to seize the moment.
Come what may.
But she wears short skirts
I wear T-shirts
She's Cheer Captain, and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time
The next day they were all out together with the squad at the usual cafe they spent their evenings in, and Harry couldn’t help looking at Louis and Eleanor, cuddled together on a booth.
He hated it.
And really, he had thought he was doing better with the both of them together…
But all he could think about was that it was unfair.
Fucking unfair.
Unfair that Louis spent his night sleeping in Harry’s bed with Harry in his arms, but Harry didn’t get to call him his.
The curly one looked down, shaking his head.
Fucking unfair, indeed.
Then someone sat beside him and Harry looked up, finding Liam there, looking at Louis with a frown on his face.
Liam was Louis' best friend, had always been and would always be.
Well, not like Harry was but still.
He was his best friend.
(And it should be telling that Liam was Louis' bestfriend but their relationship had absolutely nothing to do with the one Harry and Louis had.)
(Harry didn't want to think about that, either.)
“He doesn’t love her, H.” The man said softly and Harry hated that he was so easy to read. He didn’t say anything and Liam added. “She’s just a way for him to forget about the person he won’t allow himself to have, for some stupid reasons.” he sighed.
Harry’s heart broke in his chest.
What?
“Louis’ in love with someone else?” and there was panic in his voice, he was aware of that.
But Louis had not mentioned someone else.
Oh God.
Oh fucking God.
But Liam’s eyes widened instantly and he looked at Harry like he was dumb, before he laughed out loud.
“For fuck’s sake, you’re both so stupid.” he shook his head fondly then patted Harry’s shoulder and got up, without saying a word more and leaving a very confused Harry behind.
Liam was ready to leave, but Harry could see him hesitate as he turned around and walked to Louis instead.
What the fuck.
Harry's heart froze.
What was he doing?
Liam leant in and said something that had Louis’ eyes widen and he turned towards Harry.
Harry froze.
What the fuck had Liam said?
But it was Louis’ fond eyes on his face and Harry couldn’t help his smile, knew his dimple was popping.
Louis smiled harder at the sight.
(Eleanor seemed upset, Harry couldn’t care less.)
Later on that night, Louis finally came and sat besides Harry.
But Harry was feeling grumpy.
Louis had spent his evening with Eleanor, barely talking to him or acknowledging he was there at all.
It was now close to getting home and he had spent close to zero time with his Louis.
So he was feeling grumpy.
“Where is Eleanor?” he asked, colder than intended.
And he was always cold to Louis whenver he had to see him with Eleanor.
He couldn’t help it.
That was also why they never talked about her.
Louis visibly flinched and he looked down, fidgeting.
“Don’t really know. With her friends, I think.”
Harry hummed.
“You seemed rather cosy over there.”
And fuck, what was wrong with him?
Louis opened the mouth then closed it and shook his head.
And Harry took a second to look at him.
Really look at him.
He looked sad.
So sad.
Which was weird, considering he had spent the night glued to his girlfriend' side.
He should look happier than that.
And Harry really wanted to stay mad but…
“Are you alright, Lou?” he asked instead.
Louis chuckled sadly and looked up, studying Harry.
“It’s just-” he shook his head. “Can I be honest with you, H?"
"I hope so." chuckled sadly Harry.
Louis frowned slightly and looked down,
"I got with El because I thought it was the right thing to do. She was new and cute and-” his voice broke as he admitted. “And allowed me to think of someone else for a minute. It was a nice change.” Harry frowned at that, Louis didn’t make any sense. Someone else? Who the hell had he been thinking about that he needed to stop. (Harry couldn't take someone else in Louis' life.) He was about to tell him just that when Louis looked up, blue eyes locking onto green. “I’m just not sure this was the right thing to do anymore.”he admitted so softly Harry thought he had dreamt it.
Harry opened the mouth to talk, but they were interrupted when Zayn and Niall crashed their booth loudly and happily.
Harry scrunched up his nose and Louis gave him an apologetic smile.
Whatever their talk had been headed towards, it would have to wait.
If you could see that I'm the one
Who understands you
Been here all along
So, why can't you see?
You belong with me
You belong with me
Louis' finals were there and Harry knew him well enough to know that it meant that Louis didn't eat at all.
So here he was, in front of his dorm with a dish he had cooked.
And nerves were eating him up alive.
Which was stupid because he did that kind of shit for Louis all the time .
But somehow, it felt different now.
Harry cleared his throat and knocked.
Louis opened the door with a smile on his face and then his eyes widened when he saw Harry, widened even more when he saw what he was holding.
"Haz?"
Harry tried a smile and scrunched up his nose.
Shit, he could feel himself blushing.
"Thought you might be hungry. For real food." he rambled. "I know it's your finals and I know you're stressed but I also know you're going to do amazing, Lou. As always." he smiled shyly and handed him the plate and Louis took it, "But you have to eat."
Louis tilted his head, looking so soft in his oversized jumper and so fucking touched.
Harry had to physically restrain himself from kissing him.
Zayn - Louis' roomate, broke their bubble.
He got up, laughing and shaking his head fondly at his friends.
"And I don't suppose you made one for me?" he raised an eyebrow and Harry blushed.
"I-" he tried.
But Zayn laughed again.
"Of course not. I'm in my finals too, but it's all about Louis, as per usual." he winked and Harry blushed.
(But Louis did, too.)
"Fuck off, Z." said Louis and then his attention was on Harry again. "It's adorable, H." And then he added very hesitantly. "You're adorable."
They got lost on each other again until Zayn shook his head again.
And then he raised an eyebrow,
"Say Louis, did your girlfriend think about you that way?"
Harry froze at the mention of Louis' girlfriend and he took a step back, running a hand through his curls, afraid he had crossed a line somehow.
This shift had him confused and he didn't know where he stood anymore.
But Louis frowned and glared at Zayn like he was a dumbass.
"You know she didn't." he said warningly, an unsaid message Harry didn't quite get. "But I don't care. Harry's there." he said, shrugging and smiling at Harry. "That's all that matters to me."
Shit, that was a beautiful smile.
Harry took a step closer and Louis' smile widened.
Zayn laughed out loud then murmured something they couldn't quite get but looked a lot like "of course it is." before walking to the door.
"I'm going to see Liam, the sexual tension here is killing me." he said loudly.
Time stopped and neither Harry nor Louis dared move for a few minutes, even after Zayn was gone.
"Can you stay eating with me?" asked softly Louis and Harry smiled, dimple in display.
"If you want me to." and then, "I don't want to bother you, though."
"You could never bother me, H." and Louis' eyes were so soft. "Actually-" but then he shook his head like he was stupid.
"Actually, what?"
"No, nevermind."
"Lou." whined Harry, "You know I hate when you do that!"
Louis chuckled dryly.
"Fine." blue eyes locked onto blue. "Do you think you could stay the night here with me, tonight? I always sleep better with you around." he shrugged like it explained everything.
Harry's heart was beating so fast in his chest he was actually afraid it would stop.
Strangely, he was so fucking happy.
Louis needed him.
"Of course." he said shyly,before taking his phone to text his mother.
When Zayn came back, hours later, he found them asleep and snuggled against each other in Louis' single bed.
The dark-haired man smiled fondly and shook his head again.
"So oblivious." he whispered before getting to his own bed.
Walk in the streets with you in your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench thinking to myself
Hey, isn't this easy?
Finals were now officially over, Harry's exams too and they were both so happy.
Summer was almost there.
Everything was perfect.
They were spending the afternoon together, laughing and smiling and teasing each other.
And Louis’ arm was around Harry’s waist, Harry’s around his shoulders and fuck, it felt right.
And Harry shared that bond with no one else but Louis.
His Louis.
And then, someone called him.
“H!”
Harry froze and turned around, before a big smile lit up his face and he walked to the man, hugged him briefly.
(He didn’t see the way Louis’ smile dropped from his face instantly.)
“Aiden!” he smiled again, “How are you, mate?”
“Great!” answered the man, “Fuck, it’s been a while.”
Harry chuckled and then his chuckle died down in his throat because Louis had walked to them and put his hand in the back pocket of his jeans and WHAT THE FUCK.
Okay.
The world could stop turning and Harry wouldn't care.
Louis' hand was in the back pocket of his jeans.
He was touching his butt.
Shit.
Shit.
SHIT.
He tried to take a breath and looked at his best friend but Louis didn’t spare him a glance, he was glaring at Aiden.
Harry was so confused right now.
Aiden didn’t even seem to mind.
“Hi, mate!” he smiled and Louis nodded.
“Hi.”
“So, H, have you got a date for prom?” Aiden wiggled his eyebrows and Louis tensed.
Harry tensed.
Oh fuck.
What the hell was going on.
This shift was getting out of control.
“Hm, not yet.”
“Come on mate, you have like dozens of people asking you per day! I’m sure half the fucking school has a crush on you!” laughed the man and Harry blushed.
And he had had a lot of demands.
But it wasn’t the one he was waiting for.
So he had refused.
Each and every one of them.
“Oh- Well- I’m- I’m thinking about it.” he rambled and Aiden laughed again, then his phone rang and he took it.
“Sorry guys, but I have to take this! See you around, Haz!” he waved and Harry waved back, but then he was gone.
And Louis had still to let go of him.
Harry didn’t dare move.
He loved Louis' hand on his body.
He loved this possessive side of Louis.
Possessive of him.
Borderline jealous.
Fuck, that was hot.
“Is it true, Haz?” only asked Louis and Harry frowned.
“What is?”
Louis was still frowning, lips pursed for some reasons.
“You, having dozens of people asking you out.”
Harry chuckled, cheeks red.
“A dozen seem a bit exagerated." he admitted, "I've had offers, but I’m not interested.” he admitted quietly. “I’m not even sure I want to go to Prom.”
Louis stayed silent.
It was starting to freak Harry out.
What the hell was going on with his best friend.
“Lou?”
The older one jumped and looked at his friend,
“Sorry babe, just thinking.”
Babe?
Babe?
God, Harry would cry.
For real.
“About?” he asked instead, voice croaking only slightly.
Louis chuckled sadly and shook his head.
“Life, I guess.”
And Harry needed things to go back to normal otherwise he would stop breathing.
(Or he would kiss Louis senseless.)
So he took them back.
“Ouh, now I’m worried. Should I take a picture to remember that day?”
Louis rolled his eyes but the smile was back on his face.
(Small, but there.)
“Fuck off, Harold.”
Harry laughed.
(Louis’ hand was still on his back pocket.)
And you've got a smile
That can light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while
Since she brought you down
You say you're fine, I know you better than that
Hey, what you doing with a girl like that?
It was an hour later and Louis was still tense somehow ever since Aiden had left, but Harry took great pleasure in making him smile by doing or saying silly things.
And fuck if he loved Louis’ smile and the way it made his eyes crinkle.
They finally stopped and were facing each other as Harry couldn’t help it and reached out to stroke the crinkles by Louis’ eyes tenderly.
Louis’ eyes widened, his cheeks red.
Harry was sure he was blushing too as he let his hand down.
God, he had not been able to stop himself.
“Sorry.” he murmured, “I just really love your smile.”
Louis blushed further and looked down for a second.
“Thanks, Hazza.”
“I miss it." he added because apparently he had lost control of his mouth. "I haven’t seen it in a long time.” Louis scrunched his nose at that. “You’re always fighting with Eleanor.”
Louis’ smile dropped and he ran a tired hand on his face.
“It’s complicated, but I’m okay.”
Harry couldn’t stay silent any longer.
He felt so fucking close to Louis with how physically close they had been all day.
And he needed to speak his mind.
“I know you better than that.” he said fondly and Louis visibly tensed for some reasons. “And if I’m honest, I don’t really understand what you’re doing with a girl like that, Lou.” he said softly.
It was like a switch went on inside of Louis.
Just like that, he got angry.
His eyes narrowed and he took a step back, squared his shoulders.
“Of course you don’t! You’re not dating anyone!” Harry opened the mouth but Louis was not over and his voice was getting loud. “You’re only in high school and I bet you’ve never been in love in your entire fucking life!” Harry took a step back, eyes wide and heart breaking.
Louis had never talked him like that.
Never.
He looked like he wanted to hurt.
Like he wanted to hurt Harry.
“Lou-” he tried, voice breaking only slightly.
“No! A relationship can be hard but it doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it in the end!”
“I get that-”
“You don’t know me as well as you fucking think, so please leave me and my girlfriend alone for a fucking change!!”
He was breathless and Harry could feel tears pricking at the back of his eyes.
Okay.
He didn't feel confuse anymore.
Just hurt.
“Fine.” his voice broke and sniffled softly and just like that, Louis’ anger deflated and his eyes widened as he paled. "I'll leave you and your girlfriend alone, then."
“Fuck, Haz-”
“No.” Harry took a step back, shaking his head.
“I’m so sorry!”
“Don’t be.”
“I didn’t-”
“I should go.” said the curly one, turning around and fighting back tears. “You should go see your bloody girlfriend.” he spatted bitterly.
Louis seemed desperate.
“Harry-”
But it was too late.
Harry left.
She wears high heels
I wear sneakers
She's Cheer Captain, and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time
Harry was in his room and now he was angry.
Well, sad and angry.
Louis had never talked to him like that before.
How could he?
How could he when Harry was just speaking the fucking truth?!
But then someone knocked at his window and Harry knew who it was before he looked.
He shook his head and rolled his eyes.
No.
He didn’t want to see him.
But Louis knocked again and Harry looked up, glaring.
“GO AWAY.” he said loud enough for Louis to hear.
The older one paled.
They had not spoken since their fight the day before, Harry was in a terrible mood and it didn’t help that he saw Eleanor on his way home and she looked so fucking happy.
(Harry might be paranoid, but he was sure it had something to do with their fight.)
“GO AWAY, LOUIS.” he said again but the older one shook his head, looking sheepish. “I DO NOT WISH TO SEE YOU. YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, GO TO HER.”
Louis swallowed.
Yes, it was petty.
But Harry was hurt.
And then Louis raised his right hand.
And Harry’s eyes widened.
A fucking Mc Flurry.
He was holding Harry’s favourite dessert.
Fuck.
Louis raised an eyebrow and Harry really, really, really tried to keep his smile off his face.
Fuck him.
Fuck their friendship.
Fuck Harry's feelings.
(Fuck the world, really.)
Louis must have felt he was winning whatever they were doing, because he raised his left hand and sure enough…
Fries.
This time, Harry chuckled and Louis’ smile was blinding in answer.
Harry shook his head, a bit weary as he walked to the window and opened it, letting Louis in.
But he took a step back and crossed his arms.
He was mad.
(He was.)
“Peace offering?” offered Louis shyly, handing the Mac Flurry and the fries.
Harry narrowed his eyes.
“I’ll take it.” he said, taking the food. “But I’m still mad at you.” he pouted.
Louis looked like he hated himself.
(He looked like he had not gotten any sleep, too.)
“I am so sorry for what I said to you, Harry. I don’t even mean it. Not a fucking word.”
Harry looked down, heart beating so fast in his chest.
“Then why did you say it?”
Louis sighed, Harry looked up and their eyes met.
“I don’t know. You're my favourite person ever and I think it's easier for me to be unfair to you when I feel bad. And that's why I lashed out.” he took a deep shaky breath,
"You're my favourite person, too." admitted Harry grumpily and that brought a bright smile on Louis' face. "But you didn't have to be so harsh, Lou."
A silence.
Louis ran a weary hand on his face.
"I know. I'm so fucking sorry."
"What's going on with you?"
“I have so many things on my mind right now, so many unanswered questions and so many things I had not really realized until very recently… I don’t know what to do.”
Harry frowned.
“Can I help?”
And yes, yes he was mad.
But Louis felt crushed by the weight of something.
And Harry was still his best friend.
“Forgive me?” he asked and Harry chuckled tiredly.
“Well, how could I not when you bring treats to bribe me?”
Louis chuckled sadly at that and took a step closer – taking Harry’s breath with it, as he took his hand and squeezed it.
“I really am sorry, Harry. I never want to hurt you and I hate that I did.”
Harry sighed.
“It’s okay. I forgive you for being a prick.” and then he added for good measure, "This time."
Louis chuckled and pushed a curl out of his forehead, eyes fond and smile so soft.
(Fuck, Harry loved him like that.)
“You do?”
“I do.”
"For real?"
"For real." Harry rolled his eyes and Louis' hand got lost on his jaw tenderly before he let it down.
Harry's breath hitched.
A small silence settled.
“What can I do to help, Lou?” he asked softly.
The older one closed his eyes for a few seconds.
“Can I stay with you? It helps. You help.”
Harry’s heart missed a beat.
“You can even stay the night, if you really want to.”
The smile he got in answer was answer enough.
If you could see that I'm the one
Who understands you
Been here all along
So, why can't you see?
You belong with me
“ Okay. I know something.” finally admitted Niall and Harry narrowed his eyes at his best friend.
Niall was his best friend the way Liam was Louis' and he had sent him to look for information.
He wanted to know what had caused the shift and if he had been the only one to notice.
“Talk.” he only said. “Now.”
Niall swallowed.
“It’s not much!”
“Niall-”
“I just know he had a very serious talk with Liam a few weeks ago.” Harry opened the mouth but Niall cut him. “I don’t know what they talked about, Liam wouldn't tell me but all I do know is that your relationship changed after that, even from the outside. We’ve all been able to see it. It’s…” Niall seemed to think of the right words, waving his hands. “More.”
Harry scrunched up his nose.
It felt like more.
And if he wasn't the only one who had noticed, then maybe...
Just maybe...
Maybe it wasn't in his head.
Harry had to ask.
He just had to.
“What did you talk about with Louis?”
Liam’s eyes narrowed.
And it made Harry so much more suspicious that he seemed to know right away what he was talking about.
The man then shrugged like it was no big deal.
“I just opened his eyes on what was bloody in front of him this whole time.”
Harry frowned.
“What do you mean?”
Liam studied him, narrowing his eyes.
“A relationship in his life.”
Harry could feel nothing but dread.
Another person?
He could already barely bear Eleanor.
“With whom?”
“The most important one in his life.” said Liam, eyes boring into Harry’s like it should have been obvious.
And maybe it should have been.
But Harry had always been a bit thick.
“Eleanor?” he asked.
Liam laughed then, shaking his head.
“No. No, certainly not Eleanor.” he was still chuckling but Harry didn’t feel like laughing.
At all.
But before he could add anything, Louis arrived and without a hesitation he took place next to Harry, his arm around his shoulders.
And Harry saw the look in Liam’s eyes.
The pointed look.
Oh.
Oh.
Could he be the relationship in Louis' life?
And then his eyes widened, his heart started beating way too fast.
Could it be?
Could it actually be true?
Could his feelings...
Harry froze slightly, eyes wide and thoughts running wildly in his mind.
Could his feelings actually be mutual?
Oh God.
Oh God this was too much.
Harry snuggled deeper into Louis’ side trying to get some comfort and hummed happily when the older one laid a kiss on his curls and okay, was that friendship?
Harry was lost, Louis was oblivious and Liam was looking way too smug.
But then it all went to hell.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Louis?!” shouted a voice and they all jumped.
Eleanor was there.
Louis winced and removed his arm from Harry, Liam frowned.
“El-”
“We’ve just talked about it!”
“Look-”
“And now I see you with him and it fucking looks like he’s your fucking boyfriend!” she shouted in despair and Harry froze.
Louis was pale, blue eyes so wide suddenly as he didn’t even dare looking at Harry.
“Eleanor-”
“Just be with him if you want him that fucking much!” she shouted and everyone froze.
Harry’s heart was beating so loudly it was ringing in his ears.
“No, I-” tried Louis but his voice was shaking.
“Go fuck yourself, Tomlinson.” and she left, but her eyes had been shining with tears.
Louis groaned loudly and threw Harry a very sorry glance before he got up and ran after her.
And Harry couldn’t help feeling disappointing.
He didn't understand anything anymore.
“Tell me you saw what just happened.” said Liam and Harry looked up, frowning slightly.
Liam seemed happy.
There was no reason to be.
“Yes, I’ve seen Louis running after his girlfriend.”
Liam groaned loudly and pinched his nose.
“For fuck’s sake I can’t take it. You’re both so fucking stubborn!” Liam really seemed in despair and Harry still didn’t understand a fuck of what was going on.
It couldn't be mutual.
Louis had ran after his girlfriend.
Right?
Oh fuck.
He was so confused.
Standing by and waiting at your backdoor
All this time how could you not know, baby?
You belong with me
You belong with me
Harry felt stupid.
So stupid.
So fucking stupid.
His heart was beating painfully in his chest.
Because he was stupid.
He had allowed himself to read more into things than what it was.
And now he was hurt.
He had allowed himself to think maybe Louis felt things for him too, but it was very obvious it wasn’t the case.
Because Louis had not talked to him for fucking days.
At all.
Ever since he ran after Eleanor, he had been cold and distant to Harry.
Had not returned his calls or his texts.
Had not climbed up his window.
Had not talked to him.
Had avoided him whenever they crossed path.
It was like they didn't even know each other.
And it was killing Harry.
5 days without Louis was too much.
And fuck, he couldn’t sleep anymore without him in his bed.
(But it didn’t seem to be mutual.)
And now Louis was there at that fucking party on a couch with his fucking girlfriend.
And Harry could cry.
He could.
But instead – and because Louis meant everything to him, he decided to try and talk to him.
Because before everything else, Louis was his best friend.
He walked to where Louis was, his arms wrapped tightly around his girlfriend and Harry swallowed and ran a hand through his hair.
"Lou?" he called but the blue-eyed man didn't turn, nuzzling his girlfriend's neck and Harry's heart dropped further. "Louis?" he tried again, voice breaking.
Louis finally looked up and Harry caught the vulnerability and sadness in his eyes.
But then it was gone.
So Harry might have imagining it.
(He had not been sleeping well, after all.)
He swallowed again.
"Yes, Harry?"
Harry.
No H.
No Haz.
No Hazza.
No Harold.
Harry couldn’t even remember a day Louis had called him by his given name.
He swallowed.
Not off to a good start.
He saw Liam frown on his peripherical vision but didn't care.
Liam was partly to blame.
He had given him hope.
"Could we talk?" he tried. "Please."
He just wanted to talk.
He just wanted Louis to stop being so fucking distant.
He just wanted to make things right.
And the truth was that Harry had a lot of time to think about what could have gone wrong, and the only conclusion was that Louis had been repulsed when Eleanor had told him he should be with Harry if he wanted him that much.
And it hurt that Louis took a step back from them, but Harry couldn’t lose Louis.
He couldn’t.
So he would bury his feelings and focus on their friendship if it was the price to pay.
He would.
And he wanted to say that to Louis, if only he wanted to talk to him.
Louis sighed and looked down before looking up.
"I'm busy right now, Harry. I'm spending time with Eleanor. She's my girlfriend, just so you know . I think we’ve both forgotten about that lately , but she’s my favourite person."
A silence.
Harry's eyes widened, hurt.
Louis' eyes widened too like he couldn't quite believe he had said that. He opened the mouth, closed it.
Eleanor beamed.
Harry wanted to cry.
"I see." he murmured, tears pricking at the back of his eyes.
So stupid.
He needed to leave.
So that's what he did.
“Harry-” tried Liam but Harry shook his head.
Liam looked angry, Zayn disappointed and Louis didn’t look like himself.
But Harry just left.
Instrumental
Harry was in bed, thinking about everything.
He had to move on.
He had to.
He realized that.
Tonight had made it painfully clear.
He was waiting around for something that would never happen.
Louis would never reciprocate his feelings.
Louis would surely not even want to be friends anymore.
Tears pricked at the back of Harry’s eyes and one fell when he blinked.
Because he knew what that meant.
He would have to take his distance from Louis for good.
That was the only way.
He would have to block his number, and remove the ladder from his window ( fuck that hurt, he'd do that later) and maybe apply in a College outside of town if he still could...
Then while he was thinking about the fact that Louis didn’t seem to mind putting distance between them, his phone biped again.
Liam – Where are you?
Harry frowned and considered not answering, but it wouldn't be fair to Liam.
So he sighed again.
Harry – Home. Why?
Liam – Louis is throwing a fit.
Okay.
He didn’t care.
(He didn’t.)
Louis throwing a fit was none of Harry’s business.
Louis had a girlfriend.
It was very clearly her business.
Harry – Why?
(Yes, he was that weak.)
Liam – He's looking everywhere for you, H. It's kinda scary, actually. Looks like a mad man. Keeps rambling that he wants to apologize for “fucking hurting you again”.
Harry's heart squeezed but he was still so hurt by how Louis had talked to him.
Harry – I don't want to see him anymore and I certainly don't want to talk to him.
And then because he felt petty.
Harry – He has his fucking girlfriend to keep him company. She's his favourite person. I'm fucking done.
Liam took forever to answer, and when he did, it didn't make any sense to Harry.
Liam – Copy that.
Harry frowned in front of the answer and then groaned loudly and let go of his phone, burying his face in his hands.
"FUCK." he shouted to himself.
His phone biped again half an hour later and Harry groaned.
Louis had tried to call him, had tried to text him.
But Harry had not answered.
(He had read and listened to everything, though.)
(Louis did seem anxious.)
( Good.)
But when Harry took his phone, it wasn't from Louis.
Liam.
Liam – Please, play along.
Harry frowned.
What the fuck?
Harry – Are you drunk?
Liam – Just play along.
Harry – How so?
Liam – I just told Louis that after he told you off to stay with Eleanor, you had gone to meet with your very recent crush . I told him you had not been sure about him until the very moment Louis pushed you away. That’s when you knew you had to give that man a chance.
Harry chocked on air as he sat up and tried to get his breathing back.
He unlocked his phone and called Liam.
"Harry-"
"WHAT THE FUCK" screamed the younger one, still breathless.
"Please, trust me."
"Liam! Are you mad?!"
"Just for tonight, H."
"But why?!"
"Just play along for tonight." Harry frowned, "Tomorrow you'll come clean if I'm wrong about this."
"About fucking what?"
"Just... Just trust me."
"But it doesn't make any fucking sense!" and then he felt terrified, “Liam, you can’t use my feelings like that!”
He was way past pretending he didn’t feel anything for Louis.
Liam seemed to know way too much already anyway.
"It's for Louis' sake. He won't do anything about it otherwise."
"About what ?"
"Trust me, Haz."
Harry still couldn't understand.
"I don't want to hurt him." he frowned.
Liam sighed.
"Just one night, please."
"Fine." and then his phone buzzed. "Shit, Louis is calling me again."
And again.
"Don't answer."
And again.
"Liam..." Harry whined.
And again.
Shit, he hated that.
"Tell him you're busy. Tell him you're with that man. Tell him to go see his precious girlfriend."
Harry screamed in outrage.
(And again.)
"But-"
"TRUST ME."
Harry hesitated and then groaned loudly.
"Fuck, if I lose my best friend because of this, I'll never forgive you."
Liam chuckled.
"You might win more than a best friend out of this, trust me."
Harry didn't understand but he was too tired to think about it.
Harry – Busy, Louis. I met someone the other day and I'm with him right now as you made it perfectly clear you were sick of me. Enjoy your girlfriend, she’s your favourite person after all . Calling you tomorrow.
Oh God.
OH GOD.
"It's done." whimpered Harry.
"Well done, H."
"What do I do now?"
"You turn off your phone."
"WHAT? PAYNO WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"You turn off your phone." said the older one again. "And you go to sleep."
A silence.
"You're insane."
Another silence.
"Trust me. One night, H."
"God, I hate you."
"One night. Turn off your phone."
And he closed the call.
Harry hesitated...
But he had already gone so far.
He turned off his phone.
Oh, I remember you driving to my house
In the middle of the night
Harry must have fallen asleep somehow because suddenly, a noise woke him up in a start.
He was still a bit sleep-laced when he tried to look around and then couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
Louis.
Louis was there.
Harry checked his watch and his eyes widened again.
3 am.
And Louis was at his window.
Pale, frantic and he didn’t stop knocking which quite frankly was annoying Harry and the younger was afraid his family would wake.
So he got up and opened the window, without a word, Louis came in and started looking everywhere.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Harry scream-whispered, “Have you seen how late it is?!”
But Louis didn’t seem to care.
He looked under the bed.
In the dresser.
Opened the bathroom.
And then he stopped in front of Harry, blue eyes throwing fire.
“Where the fuck is he?” he only asked, fist clenched.
Harry frowned and ran a hand through his curls.
“Who?”
Louis glared at him like he had personally offended him.
“Don’t play that game with me, Styles.”
Oh.
Styles.
Louis was mad.
“I would answer, but I don’t understand.”
Louis chuckled and he looked like a mad man.
“Where. Is. He? Where is your fucking date!”
Oh.
And then it all went back.
The “date”.
Fuck.
Harry’s eyes widened and they were now in front of each other, speechless.
And Harry could see the anger in Louis’ eyes, which quite frankly made him angry too.
Who the fuck did Louis think he was?!
I'm the one who makes you laugh
When you know you're 'bout to cry
“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Louis?” he asked, green eyes wide with anger.
But Louis didn’t back down.
Oh God, he didn’t.
And Harry wouldn't back down, either.
They very rarely fight.
But this looked like it would be a bad one.
And then Louis exploded first.
“How could you not tell me you were seeing someone!”
Harry’s eyes widened.
“Because I don’t owe you any sort of explanation about my love life!”
Louis took a step back like Harry had just punched him or something.
“Fuck you, Harry. Just fuck you. FUCK YOU."
And no, that would just not do.
How dared he?
“And you were busy with your bloody girlfriend, anyway! It's not like you would fucking care, so stop acting like you do!”
Louis scoffed darkly, blue eyes wide and frantic.
“You can’t just disappear into the night like that without saying anything to me to see someone else!”
Oh God.
Harry was mad.
No,
Not mad.
Fuming.
Furious.
It all went down to this, at 3am in his bedroom.
“And why the hell not?” he spatted, throwing his hands out in anger. “I’m not yours, Louis. You made that perfectly clear to me tonight.”
A silence.
They were both breathless.
Both refused to give up.
If looks could kill, Harry would be dead.
Louis was glaring at him, blue eyes icy.
He got closer to Harry and shook his head, pushing at his shoulder which made Harry gasp.
“You really don’t understand a thing do you, you fucking prick!” he exclaimed loudly.
“Would you shut the fuck up? My mum and sister are sleeping!”
Truth be told, Harry wondered how they could be asleep still with the noise but his room was on the other side of the house, so he hoped they were.
The last thing he needed was them to come investigate.
Louis shook his head, pushing his fringe back nervously and muttering things under his breath.
And I know your favorite songs
And you tell me 'bout your dreams
And suddenly, it was enough.
And Harry just wanted to be left alone, and nurse his broken heart in peace.
So he gave up the fight.
“Just go, Louis.” he said, defeated and weary blue eyes looked up and locked onto his. “Go back to your girlfriend. Please.” his voice broke only slightly as he added, “ Leave me the fuck alone. You made your choice.”
A silence.
Tears pricked at the back of Harry’s eyes.
This felt an awful lot like the end.
(The end of Harry and Louis.)
And then suddenly, all of the anger seemed to leave Louis, too.
Just like that.
And he just looked so fucking heartbroken.
What the hell were they doing.
“Are you telling me you really don’t see what’s happening?” he murmured and Harry sighed deeply.
Oh he saw.
He saw what was happening.
He was losing everything.
The love of his life.
His best friend.
Everything.
“You chose.” said again Harry. “You chose her.”
And fuck, he didn’t even know what he was saying anymore.
All he knew was that Louis’ words were playing in his head again and again.
“I’ve never slept with Eleanor.” said Louis out of the blue, cheeks so red suddenly.
Harry’s eyes widened.
What?
But-
And-
What?
“Why are you telling me that?” he asked instead.
It didn't make any sense.
Louis seemed so hesitant suddenly and vulnerable, fidgeting so much Harry had to stop himself to reach out and hold him.
“Who is this guy, H?” he asked instead, frowning slightly. “Is it the guy we saw the other day? Or one of the guys asking you out at school?”
“I don’t understand why you told me you didn’t sleep with Eleanor.” answered instead Harry.
Louis could be stubborn as hell.
But God, Harry could too.
Think I know where you belong
Think I know it's with me
Louis swallowed.
“It’s complicated.” he murmured, “Just be honest with me, please.” Blue eyes locked onto green. “Are you seeing someone else? Do I know him?” his voice broke and he fixed his fringe nervously.
Harry didn’t want to answer.
He really didn’t.
He wanted answers.
“You first. Tell me why you told me that.”
“I promise I’ll tell you everything even if it’s too late, but I need to know. Please.”
And Louis was begging,
Harry had to answer.
(It was biology, really.)
So he blushed and shook his head softly, missed the absolute relief in Louis’ eyes as he did so.
“No. There’s no one else. I don’t know why I said that, it was stupid and-”
And then the world stopped and Harry gasped.
Because Louis.
His Louis.
His Louis was kissing him.
He had walked the step separating them, cupped his cheeks and was now kissing him.
And it was fucking everything Harry had imagined it would be.
(And more.)
His lips were so soft against Harry's, his scent even more strong and fuck, Harry barely fought the whimper that almost escaped his lips.
Harry was still frozen and Louis backed down immediately, eyes wide and panicked.
He opened the mouth, probably to apologize but Harry scoffed and took the step towards him this time, cupping his cheeks and kissing him again.
This time, the kiss was a bit more sure and soon Louis' hand found its way to Harry's jaw, tilting his face just so and asking to deepen the kiss. Harry moaned at the back of his throat and opened the mouth, letting Louis in and their tongues glided against each other, wet and insistent and Louis walked them back until Harry was against the door and they were snogging, hands gripping, mouths searching and moans reverbating against each other's lips.
Can't you see that I'm the one
Who understands you?
They receded at one point because they needed to breath, but they stayed so close, their breaths still mingling.
Harry's head was dizzy and he was clinging to Louis like he might disappear, but the blue-eyed boy only got closer.
“I’m sorry. I'm so sorry.” he murmured, “Fuck I’m an idiot.”
“Lou-”
Harry was terrified he was apologizing for what had just happened, but Louis didn't move back from where he was, one hand on Harry's waist and the other on his cheek with Harry still leaning against the door and Louis' body against his.
Fuck, it was perfect.
“I’ve tried to fight those feelings for some reasons." he admitted, cheeks red and Harry couldn't believe it.
"What? But- Why?"
And great, now he couldn't even form sentences.
Just great.
But Louis' closeness was intoxicating and the only thing Harry could think of was to feel his kisses again.
"I think because you’re so important to me, Haz, I didn’t want to take the risk to lose you if things didn’t work out between us. I’d die, quite literally if that were to happen.”
Harry smiled sadly and reached out from where his hand was on Louis' chest to stroke his cheek, Louis leaning on his hand.
“You could never lose me. No matter what happens between us.” and their eyes locked, "Never, Lou."
Tears were shining in Louis’ eyes and he leant in, stealing another kiss.
(But was it stealing when it was given so freely?)
“I’ve tried so hard to fight my feelings.” Louis shook his head. “I can’t anymore.”
Tears pricked at the back of Harry's eyes.
It felt like a dream.
Louis didn't seem drunk, but it felt too good to be true.
“Lou, I don’t really understand what’s going on.”
Louis smiled so very sadly, tilting his head and bringing Harry even closer to him.
“I’m not in love with Eleanor.” he finally admitted. “I’ve never been able to go further than a kiss with her because I’ve been in love with you for years, but I was too terrified to do something about it.”
Harry couldn’t believe it.
“What- But how-”
“Liam.” answered Louis as if he could read his mind. “Liam told me very clearly a few weeks ago after I admitted to him I wasn’t attracted to Eleanor that it was fucking obvious with anyone with eyes that I was entirely in love with you, and that I would end up losing you altogether if I didn’t get my shit together and act.” he shook his head fondly. “Bloody Payno, right as always.”
Harry’s eyes widened.
“It was his idea to lie about the date!” he exclaimed and Louis laughed suddenly.
“Of course it was. Should have figured it out myself.” he smiled, still shaking his head. “He looked way too smug when I ran out of the party to find you.”
Harry was still trying to realize what was happening when Louis cupped his chin and brough his face back to his,
“Can I kiss you again, Haz?”
“Fuck, yeah.” murmured the younger one, eyes fluttering close.
Been here all along
So, why can't you see?
You belong with me
They made out for a few minutes and Harry whimpered slightly when Louis' hand got lost on the back of his thigh and he brought it higher to his waist, rolling his hips against his and fuck- Louis groaned loudly and kissed him deeper before he started laying open-mouthed kisses on his neck and Harry gasped but then he suddenly pushed him away and he saw the hurt in Louis’ eyes but the younger heart’s was beating way too fast.
He had just remembered something very important.
“You still have a girlfriend, it’s not right for us to be kissing right now. You told me she was your favourite person.”
Louis smiled sadly and then took a step to Harry again, taking his hand and looking at their joined fingers like it was the most beautiful thing in the world before he laid it on his beating heart and Harry's heart could have melted just like that.
And then Louis looked up,
“I broke up with Eleanor. She never was my favourite person.” he admitted softly, “Actually, I tried to break things up that afternoon she told me it looked like you were my boyfriend, but she convinced me to try again. To give her an actual shot without you in the picture. She told me I never ever gave her a try and she was not wrong, so I agreed.” Harry winced and Louis looked apologetic, “I’m sorry for the way I treated you, H. I just-” he ran a hand through his hair, messing his fringe slightly and Harry couldn’t help it, he reached out and stroked it back to place. Louis smiled happily and Harry smiled back. “I just thought that if I wanted to give it a real shot, I had to take my distance. It was fucked up and I’m sorry.”
Harry sighed.
“It’s okay. I understand.”
“Harry-”
“I was about to do the same.” he admitted slowly, “I knew I could only ever move on from you if I didn’t have you in my life.” he shook his head, “I wanted to take off the ladder, tomorrow. Maybe even search for another College, far from here.”
“Oh.” Louis frowned slightly. “Do you still want that?”
Harry chuckled and wrapped his arms around Louis’ neck, bringing him back to him.
“Do I look like I still want that?” he raised an eyebrow and Louis chuckled, his arms finding Harry’s waist.
“No.” he admitted, smiling happily. He leant in, kissing Harry softly. “I just can’t believe it was in front of me all of this time…”
Harry chuckled.
“Well, you were always a bit slow.” he teased and Louis pinched his hip, making Harry giggle. “But I’m glad we’re where we are, right now.” and the, "It was worth it, Lou."
Their eyes locked in an intense embrace.
“Yes, it was.” he bit his bottom lip and fuck, Harry wanted to kiss him again.
Wanted to feel his body against his again.
But first…
First he needed to make something clear.
“What- What are we-” he stuttered. “I mean- We-”
Louis cupped his cheek and forced him to look at him,
“I want to take you out on a date.” he smiled and Harry let out a happy chuckle, heart beating so fast in his chest. “I want to take you to Prom, I want to kiss you all of the time, I want to have all the first times in the world with you" Harry blushed a bit at that and Louis kissed his nose, "and I want to be with you probably forever.” he murmured, eyes honest and shining with hope.
A tear rolled down Harry’s cheek.
(Sue him, it was everything he had wanted to hear these last couple of years.)
“Sounds like a plan to me.” he murmured, voice shaky with emotions and Louis smiled before he leant in, kissing him again.
And again.
And again.
Standing by and waiting at your backdoor
All this time how could you not know, baby?
You belong with me
They were still so close to each other, and it all felt like a dream.
“Stay. Please.” murmured Harry and Louis smiled, eyes crinkling happily as he buried his face in Harry’s neck.
“I’m never leaving you again.”
Harry shivered and closed his arms around him.
After that, they finally receded from each other and Harry took Louis’ hand, leading him to bed and Louis smiled, took off his shoes and his trousers and laid down besides Harry.
Harry snuggled close to him, head in Louis’ neck and Louis’ arms around him.
It felt right.
So right.
“I’m in love with you, Hazza.” murmured Louis, mouth buried in his curls and if Harry’s heart could have physically moved from his chest to Louis’, it would have, Harry was sure of it.
Tears pricked at the back of his eyes.
“I’m in love with you, too.” he answered, laying a kiss in the skin near his lips.
Their hearts were beating so loud and fast they could both feel it.
And then, right before falling asleep, Harry murmured.
“You belong with me, Lou.”
He felt the kiss in his hair, and felt more than he heard the whispered. “Always.” he got in answer.
You belong with me
Harry woke up, feeling someone behind him.
Not anyone, though.
Louis.
His Louis.
And then it all came back.
Louis' confession.
His own.
The heated making-out session.
The love confession.
Everything.
He smiled, thinking of what had happened the night before and then suddenly felt anxious.
What if Louis had not meant it.
What if he had regrets.
What if-
“Stop thinking so loud, curly.” murmured the older man before he kissed his neck tenderly.
And just like that, Harry relaxed.
He snuggled back into Louis’ warmth, smiling.
"You're still here." he murmured and Louis hold him tighter.
"For as long as you'll have me."
Harry's heart warmed.
"Probably forever." he repeated Louis' words back to him and Louis chuckled and kissed his neck again,
"Probably forever, it is then."
Harry smiled, fingers intertwining with Louis' from where they were around his waist.
They were going to be alright.
It had been hard to go about their day after that, but after another heated make-out session - and fuck, Harry was getting addicted to these, they had finally parted way with the promise to see each other at the cafe on the same night.
Harry had been ecstatic all day.
Like on a cloud.
They had spent the day texting - and flirting, and now Harry was about to join Louis and the squad and he was kinda terrified.
It didn't make any sense, but he was.
It felt like such a big step.
What if Louis didn’t want them to be official?
Oh God.
Harry took a deep breath and walked inside.
And then his eyes fall on Louis right away, talking happily with Liam and gesturing wildly while the man in front of him was shaking his head fondly at the blue-eyed man.
Liam saw Harry first and smiled, nodded at Louis and this one turned around until his eyes met Harry.
Nothing else seemed to exist.
A bright smile lit up Louis' face and Harry waved shyly, not sure what he was supposed to do.
But Louis took the lead on this one.
He walked to Harry - almost ran, to be honest, and cupped his cheeks before giving him a very deep kiss.
And Harry was kissing back.
Everyone was cheering and Harry couldn’t be happier.
"I've missed you." he murmured and Louis smiled, blue eyes crinkling.
"I've only been able to think about kissing you all fucking day." he groaned, stealing another kiss. Harry sucked on his tongue and Louis moaned, kissing him harder. "It will get problematic if all I can think about from now on is fucking kissing you, Hazza." he murmured against his lips.
Harry chuckled happily, kissing him again and bringing him even closer.
"It's the same for me." he admitted, breathless. "Fuck, you have no idea how much I want you right now."
It was out before he could stop it and he blushed, but Louis only whined and kissed him again, almost attacking him.
"Fuck, you can't say things like that when I can't do a bloody thing about it." he murmured and then peppered kisses along his jaw, his neck and Harry moaned softly as he tilted his head.
(They had totally forgotten they were in public.)
"Bloody hell, you're gonna be unbearable with the PDA, aren't you." said a disgusted Zayn from behind them and both Louis and Harry jumped.
Harry blushed, Louis fixed his fringe, cheeks red.
"Oh fuck off."
"Please, please get a room." said Niall looking scared for life.
Louis flipped him off and turned back toward his boyfriend.
"Soon." he winked and Harry bit his bottom lip, nodding.
"Soon."
And if he couldn't help but leaning in to steal another deep kiss...
Well oops.
Much later, they both walked to Liam, holding hands and cheeks red.
“I guess this is thank you time.” said the man, smirking and Louis rolled his eyes playfully.
Liam laughed out loud.
“It’s okay it was worth it.” he said softly looking at their linked hands. "Even if the PDA is already too much." he chuckled and they both blushed again.
Okay, they had been unable to spend more than a few minutes without touching, or kissing for the entire night.
But really, it wasn't their fault.
Now that they had unlocked that side of their relationship, they felt like fucking magnets.
Harry only smiled, shaking his head.
“Thank you for everything, Payno. We wouldn’t be together if it wasn’t for you.”
Louis scrunched up his nose but he knew Harry was right.
Liam chuckled.
“You’re both incredibly thick, I’ll give you that.”
“Oi!”
“You’re the worst, Tommo.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Lou!” exclaimed Harry and Louis rolled his eyes.
“Fine. Thank you, Payno.”
Liam’ eyes widened.
“He’s already got you wrapped around his finger.” he laughed, Louis blushed and Harry preened. “Seriously though, I just wanted you to be happy."
"We are." beamed Harry and Louis nodded, kissing his shoulder lovingly.
Liam smiled.
"I think I’ll deserve to be your best man or something, when you get married, though.”
Time seemed to stop.
When you get married.
Fuck,
Harry loved the idea.
He chanced a look at Louis and the dreamy look Louis gave him in return was any clue…
He felt the very same.
You belong with me
4 years later.
This was it.
4 years of nothing but happiness.
4 years of love and banter.
4 years that had led them right there, facing each other in front of all of their friends and familly – Liam the best man.
Their wedding day.
“Harry, my Harry.” started Louis tenderly and he squeezed Harry’s hands, eyes so soft and full of devotion. “I love you so much. I actually have no words to tell you how fucking much I love you.”
“Language, love.” chuckled Harry and Louis’ eyes crinkled as he laughed.
“See, I love you for that, right here, correcting me even in the middle of my fu- bloody vows.”
Harry laughed and took a step closer while everyone laughed as well. “You have been the constant in my life for over a decade now, and I couldn’t bear the thought of a life without you. Baby, you’re my best friend, my lover, my soulmate.” A tear escaped Harry’s green eyes and Louis wiped it tenderly, blue eyes shining. “You’re everything.” he ended. “I can’t quite grasp how lucky I was to have fallen in love with someone as amazing as you, and the bloody luck that you fell in love with me right back. It was fate. I’m sure it was. As I’m sure that no matter the universe, I’ll always find you.” he shrugged like it was nothing. “We’re endgame, baby.” Harry chuckled because of course Louis had to make a Marvel reference in his vows.
Fuck, he loved him so much.
Harry took a deep shaky breath and Louis chuckled fondly, leaning in to kiss his cheek gently.
“Louis, you are the love of my entire life.” Louis smiled at that, eyes shining with tears. “I always knew you were special to me, but I didn’t realize how much until I fell in love with you. You, your smile, your heart, your eyes, your warmth … everything. I love you, Louis. So much so that more often than not, I have to remind myself that this is real, and I really get to come back home to you at the end of each day.” a tear rolled down Louis’ cheek and Harry reached out, wiping it tenderly. “I can’t wait to be able to come back to you each night for the rest of our lives as your husband. I can't wait for this new chapter together. I just can't wait for that eternity with you.” he ended, voice breaking. “Because if there is one thing I’m sure of, it’s that you, Louis Tomlinson, belong with me.”
“Always.” vowed Louis, voice shaking only slightly.
Have you ever thought just maybe
6 years later
Louis and Harry couldn’t stop looking at her.
Hope Styles-Tomlinson.
Ten fingers, ten toes.
Bright green eyes.
Red hair and perfect little freckles.
She was amazing.
And she was theirs.
Their daughter.
Louis wrapped his arm around Harry’s waist, bringing him closer as he laid a small kiss at the crook of his neck, none of them looking away from the child sleeping.
“God, I can’t believe we have a daughter.” his voice broke and Harry chuckled softly, turned his head and kissed Louis soundly on the mouth.
“I’m so happy, Lou.” he murmured, eyes shining. “With you, and Hope and our life. So happy.” his voice broke again and Louis’ heart was beating erratically in his chest at the happiness he could see in his spouse’s eyes.
“Me too.” he admitted and pecked his lips again, “It’s only just the beginning, my love.”
Harry smiled at that, all dimples in display.
They stayed in their daughter’s room for a long time, snuggled together and just watching her sleep.
You belong with me?
2 0 years anniversary.
20 years.
20 years of marriage.
Louis couldn’t quite believe it.
20 years of marriage and he still loved his husband as much as he did the day they had got married.
(As much as he did the first time they kissed at 3am in his childhood bedroom, afraid to wake up his family.)
Two decades and three kids later, and Harry was still the fucking love of his entire life.
Louis shook his head and came in, and then his eyes narrowed.
Hope was waiting for him, looking way too smug.
“Hi, love.” smiled Louis and she smiled back, her little nose scrunching up happily.
“Hi dad!” she said, and even with her 18 years old, she still looked like his baby.
His baby that would go to College.
Louis shook his head.
“What are you up to, baby girl?”
She chuckled.
“Please go to the living room, dad. We'll be here shortly.”
Louis chuckled and she took his hand, leading him to the living room before she turned around to go back to the kitchen.
Louis smiled and came in.
And of fucking course.
Harry was there, still as handsome as ever and he smiled brightly, seeing his husband.
“Hello, love of my life.” smiled the younger one and Louis didn’t waste a second, walked to him and kissed him right away, murmuring against his lips.
“Happy 20th anniversary, my love.”
Harry chuckled.
“20 years, babe. Can you believe it?”
Louis’ arms found their way around his neck and he brought his mouth to his again, in a deep kiss that had a small moan leaving Harry’s mouth.
“That I can believe." he said, leaving a mark under Harry's jaw and his husband whimpered softly, hands gripping Louis' waist to bring him closer. "What I can’t believe is that I still want you that much after 20 fucking years…” Louis murmured hotly, leaving open-mouthed kisses on the column of Harry’s neck.
Harry shivered and tilted his head for better acces.
And then he rolled his hips against Louis' and they both moaned.
“Lou, the kids have planned – oh fuck right there, they’re coming back.”
Louis groaned and laid his face on the crook of his shoulder before laying a kiss there and receding,
“Don’t think I won’t have my way with you tonight.” he murmured and Harry bit his bottom lip,
“Don’t think you won’t.” he challenged, green eyes darker.
Louis chuckled and pecked his lips again.
“None of that now, lovebirds!” said Hope happily and they broke apart, chuckling softly. “The boys are coming with the meals, please take a sit.”
Louis and Harry laughed as they sat,
“Happy anniversary!” said their boys, coming in with plates.
Alex was 15, Paul was 13.
They were their sister’s treasures.
"Happy anniversary!" said Hope, smiling brightly.
Harry and Louis watched as their darling kids babbled happily, laying the plates in front of them and their eyes locked, hands finding each other on the table in a silent interaction.
This was perfect.
It couldn't be any more perfect.
You belong with me
Harry's 50th birthday.
Harry was 50.
Louis couldn’t believe it.
Couldn’t believe his baby was actually 50.
To him, Harry was still the same young adult he used to climb the window of, the same clumsy teenager, the same dork he fell helpessly in love with all these years ago.
His Harry.
Always his Harry.
So he had thrown a surprise birthday party for the love of his life with all of their friends – Liam, Zayn, Niall amongst which, their kids and their families.
And it had been perfect.
Harry had smiled and turned around to hug Louis so tightly against him, Niall had rolled his eyes fondly as the PDA even though they were all used to it by now so it was mostly just for show.
The party was actually going amazingly well, and then right after they shared a part of cakes with they beloved kids, Harry turned around with that dimple smile that still made Louis’ knees weak even decades later.
“What is it, baby?”
Harry reached out and cupped his cheek, bringing him in for a deep kiss and Louis gripped his wrist, moaning in the back of his throat as Harry deepened their kiss, tongues meeting and gliding against each other and fuck, they had to remember they were both in public, their kids somewhere around.
But when Harry kissed him like that…
Nothing seemed to matter.
They receded and their eyes locked, blue on green.
“You still belong with me.” murmured Harry lovingly and it brought tears to his husband’s blue eyes as he whispered reverently right before he dived in for another inappropriate kiss,
“Always and forever, my love.”