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It wasn’t supposed to be one of those days today. Something is off. Something is wrong. Nothing is wrong for now, But Atsushi felt it in his bones, a heavy unsettling feeling in his chest that something was going to be wrong.
He woke up and immediately wanted to go back to sleep, his body hurt. Every part of him was sore, he did nothing of note yesterday. No exercise, no fights. Yesterday was rather good, He got some paperwork done, Dazai didn’t try to kill himself, Kunikida was quiet, and Yasano was hungover so her constant threat of using her ability was subdued. Nothing out of sorts, but a small exhaustion over him. Everything was fine. Everything is fine.
Atsushi is fine
Nothing is wrong, he is just over exaggerating. He’s just being lazy and doesn’t want to work. Atsushi needs to get up and go to work.
Bones aching, and every part of him heaving in protest, Atsushi got up from his futon and opened the closet door connecting him and Kyoka. Kyoka was fine, she was casually eating an American breakfast that Poe had imported for them, Fruity Pebbles-? And she was visually marking out the maze with her sharp gaze. If anyone, else went under that gaze, most would simply crumble and die. Fortunately for the sugary cereal box, it is not conscious of the mistreatment it is facing, and doesn’t know anything about their surroundings, so it cannot crumble up and die.
Atsushi sighed as he headed towards the bathroom, disappointed that he felt sympathetic to a cereal box.
Typically, he doesn’t shower before he goes to work, he usually reserves showering as a sacred ritual before he goes to sleep. Putting great care on the shower head being at the right angle, the water being exactly right and Kyoka being asleep, so he can just soak under the water and just feel all of the droplets run along him individually. Its calming in a sense, and it’s the only time Atsushi truly gets be alone. Back in the orphanage there was nothing Atsushi feared more, but now it’s a rare blissful event.
It takes a lot of time to get the bangs right, and years of mental breakdown haircuts for it to become his staple, signature hair.
It was something that was uniquely his and no one else could perfectly replicate.
But his hair looked fine, and he was clean. He just wanted to be alone before having to face everyone today.
It’s not like he was upset with anyone. He genuinely loves the agency with his whole heart and would do everything in moments notice for their happiness and safety, however....
Nothing is wrong. Everything is okay.
…"I'm going insane"
Atsushi groaned to himself as he left the shower, the steam fogging up the mirror.
He checks his phone and realizes he’s about to be late, because why would he not. That would be too easy. He quickly put his clothes on, it sticking to his skin and the friction of his jeans itching in his inner thighs, and his hair curling at the edges. It didn’t look bad, but it would be annoying as hell when it gets in his eyes for the 50th time while looking any direction that isn’t straight forward.
Kyoka already left, her bowl and spoon diligently put away and her futon folded neatly. She left a bowl for him, but he was already too late for it. Skipping breakfast won’t kill him, he thought as he wrestled to put on his boots, locked the apartment, and ran to the agency.
When he arrived at the agency, it wouldn’t be an over-statement saying all eyes were on him.
“Atushi, your over an hour late. We were about to send Kyoka after you! How do you even arrive an hour late, you and Kyoka live together and she arrived before you! This was very irresponsible of you-" Kunikida scolded Atsushi as soon as he stepped foot in the office, failing his attempting to clock in un-noticed.
“I think Atsushi is ill, He woke up groggy.” Kyoka butted in, trying to free Atsushi from Kunikida’s wrath, concern in her brows. A bit too late, Atsushi could already feel the headache forming from Kunikida's lecture.
“Is something wrong Atshushi?” Yosano chiming in as well, intrested to see if she could be of service. Leaving her conversation with Ranpo with a lot more excitement compared to the tone she was using previously at the chance to use her new chainsaw.
“No, No, it’s fine. I just woke up a bit sore- “Atsushi pleaded before Yosano could tie him down to her table.
“Are you positive, Atsushi?” Ranpo teased not even looking up from his candy cabinet, but a smirk ever present on his face.
“I agree, with Ranpo. Something is off." Yasano says with a glint in her eyes, taking care of ADA members was important to her, but she could not lie to herself and not say she was itching for the ability to test out her new equipment. Her excitement was not lost on Atsushi.
“I promise you I am okay! There is no need for treatment, please!" Atshushi begged, all hope for him to have peaceful morning long gone by now. He could feel the headache already forming, but wisely chose to not comment on it now, in fear of mass bleeding.
“Maybe Atsushi wanted to style his hair for Akutagawa!” Dazai added cheerfully, adjusting his little paper plane, sticking his tounge out before throwing it at Kunikida. The only person in office who seemingly undisturbed by Atsushi's suffering. Even the Tamaki twins were giggling to themselves softly.
Atsushi turned his head quickly to look at Dazai who was smiling innocently. "This is my normal hair! It dried on the way here! Besides why would I care about what he wants?! He cut off my leg, and is very rude!" Atsushi said indignantly. Offended that Dazai would think that about him.
"I agree with Atsushi, Don't date men. They are all full of themselves" Yasano said with a yawn, putting away her chainsaw back into her work cabinet. Atsushi turned bright read, unaware to be thankful that she stood up for him, or that she still alluded to the fact that he cares about Akutagawa.
Atsushi sighed in relief, finally settling down to his desk. His head was pounding, and it did not help that he felt more jittery than usual. He tried to focus on the computer screen, and couldn’t concentrate on anything, everything was going right through him. It was almost like he couldn’t read; he just saw the letters like little markings. Nothing was registering in his head, causing him to reread the same sentence over rand over again, but nothing sticking with him. Atsushi’s job when he prepares reports is to: read case files, sort out the important things that could prove useful, whether that be a murder, organized crime, or suspicions of useful undiscovered ability user. But everything was just there. He typed down dates, random locations, but no thoughts on it as he focused on his computer screen, keying in the information as he noticed his breath was shaking. His lungs constricting against his chest, tears in his eyes, and an overwhelming ache in the back of his head all building up before he could properly notice it. But nothing happened?
Atsushi took a breath, and tried to steady himself, and just continued. He closed his eyes, and focused on his feet. Feeling his feet on the floor. Then his firm chair, pressing on his back. Kunikida was determined to make sure everyone had ergonomically sound chairs. He could hear Kunikida's typing next to him, and Kenji and Kyoka doing their homework. Pencil scratches. Atsushi took a deep breath in, as he smelled Ranpo's brownies, and the constant pot of coffee that Dazai had. And as he opened his eyes he saw his rough fingers, and his rickety old keyboard. Atshushi took a few moments to calm down, breathing in and out as he eventually felt himself calm down, a tear or two escaping his eyes. When the episode passed, his hands were still a little clammy, shaking softly as he continued typing the pre-report.
Nobody noticed Atsushi’s near nervous breakdown or didn’t speak on it.
Atsushi didn’t know whether he was grateful for that, or if it made him feel worse.
The day ended soon enough, and everyone left the building, except Kunikida, to do his daily overtime. Things where peaceful after the guild incident. Things calmed down a lot, there is a cease fire with the Mafia, and things have been going well for everyone. Atsushi knows its only a matter of time before there is going to be another doomsday Yokohoma plot, where he will have to push his ability to the maximum again and learn and accept himself and previous traumatic events by going through another traumatic event.
Atsushi was once again reminded by the fruity pebbles box. Living its life challanged by the stare of Kyoka, unaware of its maltreatment. His heart twinged in sympathy of it, perhaps a little had to do with his kinship to it.
Kyoka wanted to go and help farm with Kenji on the roof after hours to "study for their agriculture class", so unlike contrary belief he was allowed to be alone for more than just a shower, but it was too late to do anything with impact. So, he settled for a walk along the pier where the Moby Dick crashed a few weeks ago.
It was a nice evening, the sun was setting so it was a lot cooler than earlier in the day, and back in the orphanage he was never allowed outside and in result he was very thin and pale. Having sea air and sun on skin was refreshing, and hearing the waves crash on the concrete along the sides. There were a lot of people along the sand, tourist with their lovers enjoying the sunset along the beach, friends deciding to have a cinematic hangout, and little kids refusing to want to go back home despite their parent’s protest.
Yokohoma’s shore was filled with love.
And even if Atsushi didn’t bring a loved one with him, he was still allowed to bask in it.
Leaning on the warehouse, and feeling the calmest he had all day, the sun and salt on his skin, he closed his eyes. Fully planning on not sleeping.
Atsushi slept.
When he woke up, he realized that he was tied up, floating a few feet of the ground, and was being casually kidnapped to the home of no one else but the Port Mafia’s rabid dog.
“Don’t say a word.” Akutagawa warned, not even looking behind him. Not even giving Atsushi the dignity of acting surprised that he woke up
Summoning his tiger nails, Atsushi cut through Rashomon, and fell on his knee’s preparing for a fight.
Akutagawa barely raised an eyebrow, unamused.
But it was hard to notice, so Atsushi will take Akutagawa’s cheek for it.
“What do you want from me?” Atsushi questioned cooly as he got up and stretched. Rashomon was quite stiff, Dazai has given Atsushi several warnings to stay away from Akutagawa, and to keep him at a distance. But Dazai also wants them to work together in mission and get along. He also recommended to blow up his motorcycle. Atsushi didn't know if he had one or not, or how that related to being the new double black, but Atsushi learned to not question the bandaged man.
“If you get sick and die from a cold before I can kill you, I will kill you” Akutagawa said like it was a normally phrased thing. Perhaps for him, it was ?
“Eeehh. Either way I’ll die in your scenario” Atsushi said rubbing his arms, despite popular belief of young women who see Akutagawa and live, being tied up by Rashomon was not a very fun experience.
“And I thought you were determined to live. Your suicidal ideation was probably why Dazai choose you, not your talent." Akutagawa all but huffed. "Keep moving Weretiger” He snaps, poking him with Rashomon, stretching and rolling out the R. The young women were right about that though, it is very fun.
“I’ll just go home; I don’t need to follow you?” Not even putting effort in trying to annoy him, Akutagawa thought to himself distastefully. It wasn't an active effort if Akutagawa was trying be honest, its was just that quiet bubbly energy that annoyed him. Akutagawa noticed fairly quick, Atsushi tone was much more serious, his eyes firm and focused. His shoulders where still, and there was a distant look in his eyes. Learning his enemies body language is particularly important skill in every mafioso and Dazai was very proud to pass down that skill to him when he was in the mafia.
“What would you say, if I told you that I don’t want to be alone?” Akutagawa responded to Atsushi after a pause. Akutagawa did not care for company, if anything he actively fought to be alone. But something was wrong about the Weretiger, and it was annoying him. Unfortunately, it would obviously fall to Akutagawa to fix it, whatever was wrong was more annoying to him than the bubbliness of the part-time tiger.
“Excuse me-?" Atsushi responded in shock. Those were the last words he ever expected to come out of the mafiasio's mouth. Something was definity up. Most likely a trap, maybe he would lead him to his penthouse and kill him-
“You are excused, if you shut up.” Again, unphased. Interrupting Atsushi's thought process on what the Victorian era bargin bin's biggest supporter would want company for, much less his.
The boldness of this man was large enough to rival Dazai audacity for fucks sake, my gods- Atsushi thought to himself as he stopped questioning the Mafioso and followed him, too drowsy to make the long walk back home anyways, the walk to Akutagawa’s house was quiet as it began to drizzle. The ocean looking angry and loud... Atsushi wondered if Kyoka was home.
Akutagawa unlocked all 6 locks, one fingerprint and eye biometrics, tapped a rhythm on the door before entering, motioning Atsushi to do the same. He took of his coat and hanged it on the coat rack and put his shoes directly under. Atsushi mirrored the man's movements, putting his shoes next to him. Akutagawa offered him a pair of slippers, and Atsushi accepted wordlessly, and slipped them on. Akutagawa hung his keys as well and began lighting some incense and went down a hall and returned with some clothing as it began to pour outside, the clouds and raindrops visible from the living room. The living room had a television, a small coffee table and a velvet black couch. Everything following a more domestic gothic feel. There was only one solid wall in the living room which the TV was on, only windows surrounding the couch this high up in the penthouse. It was calming, the loud rain behind him in the warmly lit room grey room.
“If I didn’t arrive when I did, you would have probably gotten sick, foolish weretiger” Akutagawa said, noticing how stuck Atsushi was on the view of the rain on city. Everything bright from the city lights, yet muted from the rain and absence of light..
“I have some clothing that can fit. Go and Bathe.” Akutagawa says snapping Atsushi out of his trance on the city, as Atsushi turned to face him. Much to his shock, Akutagawa had already changed into comfortwear. Atshushi does not know why this surprised him, he kind of thought that Akutagawa would probably relax with a 3 piece suit on his bed after a long day of grunting while killing people with his clothing. Akutagawa was wearing black workout pants, and a light grey hoodie that was a tad bit too lose on his frame, and his hair tied back in a ponytail.
“Stop gawking and go” Akutagawa said, rolling his eyes as he felt Atsushi stare at him as he headed towards the kitchen. Mumbling about the things he does for stupid furries and other things that were unmistakable for annoyed immigrant mother.
“Thank you” Atsushi responded and went to the bathroom, where it was to, impeccable. There was a large tub, unconnected to the wall, looking like a large ovalized ceramic bowl, The water coming from the bottom and not in faucet, and two sinks with mirrors, with a Marble countertop.
Atsushi took a mental note if he ever needed a potential sugar daddy. He carefully laid his clothing on the counter, stripping from his clothing, damp from the sea air and rain as he stepped in the tub. Sinking in warm water, he felt most of his earlier worried melt away in the 40$ body wash.
When he left the bathroom, Akutagawa had tea sitting on the coffee table waiting for him, as Akutagawa himself was nursing his own cup, sitting on the couch staring outside at the rain. The incense did its job and the house smelled vaguely of Mur.
Akutagawa is very pretty, Atsushi thought as Akutagawa tucked on of his white strands behind his ears. Slowly approaching the other male.
“I made tea.”
“You did. Is that one for me?”
“No, its for the other idoitic strangers I take to my penthouse.”
“Thank you” Atsushi says, cutting him off as he picked up his cup and sitting next to Akutagawa on the couch. Not wanting to start an argument, leaving the middle seat open.
Akutagawa didn’t bother answering and just drank his tea, and Atsushi just followed suit. There wasn’t a need to fill the silence, and Atsushi didn’t have the energy to bother.
“You will stay over, its raining too hard for you to leave.” Akutagawa said, placing his mug down, being the first to challenge the silence.
Atsushi hummed in acknowledgement, not looking away from the window, waiting a moment before asking a question himself. “Why did you take me to your home?” Atsushi asked, still not looking away from the storm. A thunderstrike filled the room with light, then the low rumble of thunder and the loud crrshh followed suit.
“It’s not like you to casually walk along the beach and sleep.”
“How would you know?” Atsushi challenges, raising a brow as he blows on his tea.
“I’ve taken walks along the beach with my sister and by myself since I was a kid. And I’ve never seen you until today. You were sluggish at the beach. You lowered your guard entirely. Dazai should have taught you better.”
“He did” Atsushi snaps immediately, anger tinging at the slight of either his or his mentor's honor.
“So, what were you doing?” Akutagawa retorts back, rising to the heat, tension quickly rising in the room..
A beat passes.
“...I don't know?" Was Atsushi only response. The anger draining as soon as it arrived. "Is it a crime to want to be alone?” Atsushi asks after another moment of silence. Both to ex-student of his mentor, and to himself.
“I would have never taken you for the lone tiger type” Akutagawa answers, but only after considering his archenemies's words. Letting Atsushi of the heat, he took a sip of his tea.
Atsushi sighed and placed his cup down and brought his knees to his chest.
“It gets tiring, I am not the ideal student you imagine for Dazai.” Atsushi confesses softly, running his fingers through his own hair, heaviness in his eyes.
Despite that, Atsushi is very pretty, Akutagawa thinks. Atsushi's wet hair falling toward his face, the Weretiger's hair was thick, and not even the dampness could ruin his volume.
Unfortunately, Akutagawas thoughts moved to less pleasent things than shampoo and conditioner. No one will ever be good enough for Dazai. Not Atsushi, not himself. They both owe that man everything they are today and everything they own is due to him. Dazai has radically changed both of them, but twisted their paths in an almost equivalent way, one to darkness, the heir to the Demon Prodigy. And the other to light, the wish of the most human person in the world. They both knew this, and they both soon finished their tea quietly, thinking on this silently.
What Akutagawa does next surprise them both. He grabbed Atsushi’s back, and pulled him in, while laying down. Akutagawa was underneath Atsushi, with Atsushi’s head on his chest. Atsushi immediately tensed, not knowing what to do. What the fuck just happened? What the hell is Akutagawa doing? How is this happening?
Akutagawa saw Atsushi’s eyes go wide, and to be completely honest, he was surprised as well. There was a weird silence, and Akutagawa could tell he wanted a hug, and acted before thinking. But he already started it, so he might as well commit to it. He grabbed the blanket on the back frame on the couch and clumsy covered both of them, his hands running Atsushi’s back, praying it's the comfort that Atsushi wanted.
What Akutagawa would do to hold him like this forever, a traitorous part of his brain informed him.
Akutagawa noticed Atsushi relax under his arms after a few minutes, and Akutagawa took the liberty to gently scratch and blow on scalp. Running his hand through all his hair, while his other hand was wrapped around his waist, holding Atsushi making sure he didn’t fall off. Scratching gently both sides of the hair part, combing through his hair gently as possible, and blowing underneath parts with the moist hair so it won’t get to hot. Rubbing his head and patting it gently. Then slowly moving down to Atsushi’s neck. Rubbing and squeezing, rubbing from his neck to his shoulders, Atsushi released a small hum, while Akutagawa continued until his lower back from under the blanket.
Atsushi held onto Akutagawa tighter, wrapping his arms at his chest. Akutagawa stopped applying pressure to his touches and just began gently rubbing his back, and returning back to his scalp, realizing that the tiger had eventually fallen asleep, much to his shock.
Not wanting to move, or risk waking up Atsushi, he wrapped both of his arms to his waist, and gently moved Atsushi up so his head could rest on Akutagawa’s shoulder. Akutagawa continued, scratching and rubbing Atsushi. If he whispered soft praises and none the less in Atsushi’s ear until the rain stopped, nobody has to know.
Gin arrived at the apartment early next morning, paused and felt a small smile grow on her face. Her older brother was allowing others in. She took a quick picture, not for blackmail, but for herself, she grabbed the tea mugs placed it in the sink and quickly went to bed before the two rivals can awaken.