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He can’t decide what he likes better: already knowing and understanding Simon enough to know when something’s wrong, or getting to learn new things that make him tick after almost a year together. He likes being able to recognize his face when he’s working through a tough homework question or knowing that he likes ketchup on his spaghetti or that he’s afraid of horses (Wilhelm loves that one). Though, there’s still a thrill in discovering the new stuff, too.
Even today, when Simon barely eats or says anything at breakfast. Then he wears the sweatshirt he bought in Stockholm when they visited in February; it’s a size too big (Wilhelm thought it was weird that he’d even want it since it didn’t fit, but Simon didn’t seem to mind), so he can hide his hands in the sleeves when he’s walking between classes. But Wilhelm wouldn't call this coil in his stomach thrilling.
His attention never wavers, Wilhelm thinks, since he keeps his eyes on the instructors and writes notes with everyone else and doesn’t fall asleep. Wilhelm suspects, to everyone else, he simply looks like he didn’t get enough sleep last night. He supposes that could be the case, since he doesn’t know for sure—Simon slept in his own bed last night, instead of in Wilhelm’s room. He doesn’t want to say that that was the first red flag because Simon doesn’t have to stay with him, of course, but he usually does. The only times he hasn’t had been nights he needed to finish homework or study for an exam.
Simon doesn’t have any food in front of him at lunch, only a bottle of water that’s half empty. Wilhelm sits next to him. “You’ve already eaten?” he asks.
“No,” Simon replies, shaking his head. “I’m not hungry.”
Wilhelm frowns. “What’s wrong?” He doesn’t ask “Are you okay?” because he knows Simon will say yes like it’s a reflex.
“Tired,” he says.
“You don’t look good.” Before he can respond, Wilhelm touches Simon’s forehead with the back of his hand. Simon presses his lips into a smile as his eyes flicker around the room and fall back to the table top. People are probably staring. Lately, he’s realized he doesn’t care as much as he used to.
“Darling, you’re burning up,” Wilhelm says softly. He trails his fingers down the side of Simon’s face until they curl under his chin and turn his head, so Simon can meet his eyes. He doesn’t have a lot of experience taking care of the sick (any experience, really), but he knows people aren’t supposed to feel that warm. “What are you doing here?”
“I—” Simon begins to protest. By the way his shoulders rise to his ears, Wilhelm suspects he’s about to give some bullshit answer about how fine he feels. But his shoulders sink a second later. “I… can’t miss class,” he admits quietly.
Wilhelm raises an eyebrow. “You can afford a few days.”
“After last year, I’m really trying to miss the least amount I can. I’ll fall behind anyways, and—” He shakes his head and barely winces. Wilhelm wouldn’t have caught it had he not been looking for it. “I’ve had stuff like this before; I’ll be fine.”
“Funny, I’ve heard stuff like that before.”
Simon rolls his eyes. “I told you, I’m not a sick person.”
“Except you are sick.”
“I’m not sick, I just have a headache.”
Wilhelm shakes his head. “You look exhausted, you don’t have an appetite, you didn’t stay last night—”
“I don’t have to stay every night,” Simon mumbles.
“Are we really doing this right now?”
Simon looks at him then away. “No,” he says. “Sorry.”
Sighing, Wilhelm scoots closer. He takes one of Simon’s hands in his own, rubbing slow circles into Simon’s palm. “We had a deal. Remember?”
“You want to take care of everyone else?” Wilhelm had said to him last year, wiping Simon’s tears away. “Fine. But I’m going to take care of you.”
The corner of Simon’s mouth twitches. “I thought that was only for when I’m trying to take care of other people.”
“First of all, there is no ‘only’. Second, no, I’m expanding it to when you refuse to worry about yourself, too.”
Simon chuckles. Wilhelm smiles; he can feel his chest loosening with relief. “Okay, good. Now that we’re on the same page… do you want to stay here or go home?” Wilhelm nods toward the door. “We can leave now.”
He hates that it sounds like he’s trying to pass Simon off to someone else. He wants to be able to take care of him, but he just doesn’t know how . This is uncharted territory for Wilhelm. When he felt ill growing up, he received hourly check-ins from the staff. They brought him anything he wanted and didn’t let a day go by where they checked his temperature less than twice. He knows Simon wouldn’t let even half of that happen to him, and honestly, Wilhelm doesn’t know if he could be that doting and overbearing anyways. He hated it himself; the only upside to that treatment was that his family left him alone. But that’s all he knows, so now what?
“I don’t know,” Simon admits. “It’s just my head right now.” As if to prove his point, he winces again, rubbing circles into his temple like it’ll relieve the pressure. Wilhelm kisses his other temple, just in case there’s any truth to that ‘kisses make the pain go away’ rumor.
“We’ll go to the infirmary after lunch,” he decides.
Simon sighs. “Okay.”
Wilhelm makes him eat his bread. Simon tries telling him he doesn’t want to, but Wilhelm ignores him. There’s a possibility this makes Simon sick later, but there’s also a possibility that his empty stomach is making it worse. He internally crosses his fingers that that doesn’t turn out to be the wrong move.
They get acetaminophen from the infirmary, then Wilhelm takes him to the dorms. “Your room or mine?”
“Actually, um, I think I’ll go home after all.” He turns to leave, but Wilhelm tugs him back.
“Wait,” he says, “what happened? What’s wrong?” Simon hesitates. With his other hand, Wilhelm cups his cheek, telling him, “I need you to talk to me, sweetheart. I can’t read your mind.”
“I just don’t want… If I get sick, I don’t want….”
“You live here, too. You have as much of a right to mess it up as anyone else does.” Simon cracks a smile; Wilhelm mirrors him. As he’s unlocking his door, he adds, “If you really want to go home, though, I’ll take you.”
Shaking his head, sighing, Simon decides, “No, it’s… it’s okay. I’ll stay.”
“Okay.” He pushes the door open and turns to him. “I’m going to tell someone that we won’t be in class for the rest of the day.” He eyes Simon, waiting for a protest about the “we” instead of “you”. Simon only nods and slips past him into the room.
When Wilhelm returns, Simon is on his side, scrolling through his phone with the blanket pulled to his ears. “I can’t imagine that’s helping your headache,” he mutters, slipping off his shoes.
“Maybe not, but staying completely still is,” Simon replies.
“Is the medicine helping any?”
“I don’t know yet.”
Carefully, Wilhelm crawls behind him. He reaches over Simon, who immediately sinks into him, probably expecting Wilhelm to curl around his waist. Instead, Wilhelm plucks the phone from Simon’s grasp.
“You need to sleep,” Wilhelm whispers in his ear. “Maybe your headache will be gone when you wake up.”
Simon sighs. “Fine.”
Wilhelm kisses his temple then lays his phone on the desk. “Are you cold?”
“Freezing,” Simon mumbles.
“But you’re burning up.”
“It’s the fever.” Another shudder rakes through Simon’s body. Frowning, Wilhelm hugs him closer.
“I’m probably the worst person to take care of you right now,” he admits. “I don’t know anything about taking care of sick people.”
“You’re doing fine so far. Though, you’re probably going to get sick next.”
“That just means you can return the favor.” Simon laughs softly. Wilhelm smiles into his hair.
He doesn’t know when he fell asleep, but the bed is cold when he wakes again. Simon is gone. Wilhelm bolts upright, frowning around the room. Simon’s shoes and his phone are still here. The door is barely open. Voices echo down the hall, one in particular that makes him think Simon is somewhere nearby.
“This is not a good look, Nick,” Henry is saying when Wilhelm peeks around the corner. They’re at the other end of the hall, right outside of the bathroom: Henry, Simon, and Nicolas. Nicolas was Simon’s roommate at the beginning of last term, but they were split up once Nicolas decided to announce he was the one in August’s video, not Wilhelm. Wilhelm thinks he’s five-foot-nine-inches of pure idiotic tendencies 80% of the time. He can’t believe he and Simon get along so well, but Nicolas is actually one of Simon’s closest friends at Hillerska.
He has one arm wrapped around Simon’s waist, shouldering most of his weight with no help from Henry. Wilhelm worries that something has happened, but as he starts forward, he notices a weak smile across Simon’s face.
“Oh, hey,” Nicolas says once he sees Wilhelm. “Did you lose something, or did he wander out on his own?”
Wilhelm frowns, reaching for Simon. “What’re you doing out of bed?”
“Threw up,” Simon mumbles. He moves sluggishly, but he never grimaces, so maybe his headache is gone. “I’m fine. Just wanted to see how much Nicky would do for me.” When he begins to sway, Wilhelm curls an arm around him, rubbing circles into his hip. Simon smiles up at him; he looks half delirious and fully adorable. Wilhelm presses a kiss to his curls.
Nicolas reveals a crumbled bag sliced something from his pants pocket. “I was about to force him to eat one of these.”
Henry frowns. “Potato slices?”
“Ginger, you idiot. It helps with nausea; Mama learned about a remedy during one of her trips abroad.” He holds the bag out to Simon.
“Ah,” Simon says, grabbing it. “Thank you.” He chews his lip in a poor attempt to conceal a smile and shares a look with Wilhelm.
“Nicolas the Witch Doctor,” Henry mocks. “Hey, think you can get your hands on something a little more… recreational?”
Simon nudges Wilhelm toward his room. “We need to leave before we witness something illegal.”
They turn to leave. Over their shoulders, Henry laughs. “It’s only illegal if we get caught!”
Simon rolls his eyes. “I’ll be right back,” he says, stepping out of Wilhelm’s grasp. “I have to brush my teeth.”
Minutes later, Simon returns wearing his pajama pants and a t-shirt. He’s the most clingy he’s been all day, settling between Wilhelm’s legs on his bed, back to Wilhelm’s chest. Wilhelm hums, amused. “Suddenly you’re a people person?”
“No, I’m a you person.” Wilhelm laughs. “Hey, I’m sorry for being a jerk earlier.”
Wilhelm hooks his arms around Simon’s stomach, hugging him close. “It’s okay.”
“I’m just… Somehow, I’m still not used to… to having someone else….”
“I know. I know,” he says softly. “At least next time, we’ll both be better at this. How are you feeling now?”
“Good. I’m feeling good.”
“And you’ll tell me when you’re not?”
Simon looks up at him. “Promise.”
Wilhelm nods. "Good. If you don’t, I’m handing you over to Nicolas.”
Simon laughs.
They spend the rest of the day in bed watching movies on Wilhelm's laptop. This part of the deal, too. A clause in the fine print: we have to spend a day together, just us, to make sure we're okay. That you're okay. When Felice texts to invite them to dinner, Simon agrees, and Wilhelm knows. He knows because it's Simon, and he knows all about Simon.