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Kunikida couldn’t have been more thankful that the day had finally concluded. Well, the eventful part of the day had concluded. Now he just had to write up a little report and some other tiny admin things that were honestly quite relaxing to him, especially after such a big day. They’d gotten into a tiff with the mafia — Well, he had gotten into a tiff with the mafia. Dazai was also there. He was always weird when the port mafia was involved and Kunikida hadn’t quite figured out why yet. It wasn’t the same fear that Kunikida felt. He’d be able to tell if Dazai was scared. But there was just something weird about him. He was a little quieter. A little more distant. And, more often than not, difused the tension quicker than any other altercations they experienced together. It proved useful generally speaking. But he couldn’t help but worry… Just a little bit…
Once Kunikida had finished writing up his report, he handed it off to the president and returned to his desk. He looked over at Dazai who seemed to have fallen asleep on the couch and for once wasn’t overtaken by a mindless rage that urged him to wake the idiot up. He just continued to let him sleep. He opened his notebook and began writing. He had to exorcise the thoughts that were eating at his brain. Everything from how confused he was about Dazai’s potential connection to the mafia to the way that, when he slept, he almost looked cute. He didn’t think as he wrote, he just wrote, word vomiting everything that threatened to infiltrate his head indefinitely.
He must have written pages and pages on Dazai by now — In the time they’d known each other, Kunkida had found it difficult to separate himself from him. That wasn’t exactly his fault; Dazai was awfully good at making sure he was the only person on Kunikida’s mind, whether it be through being generally irritating or showcasing enough charm and kindness that Kunikida stayed trapped in the cycle of “I can fix him”. It was downright manipulative at times, but Kunikida could only stay furious about it for so long. He could only stay mad for so long. Eventually, without fail, he’d always land on the terrifying notion that Dazai was probably one of the most fascinating and beautiful individuals he’d ever had the displeasure of meeting. He was an idiot. And Kunikida hated him. But he wasn’t stupid — he was a genius among men. Not only was his brain awfully tempting to uncover but… if you caught him at the right time, a soft smile or deep brown eyes could make the weaker man swoon. Unfortunately, Kunikida was occasionally the weaker man. And though he cursed himself for it, he couldn’t help the way his heartbeat would quicken. Dazai was probably evil. Or just dumb. Or the literal devil. Kunikida still hadn’t worked it out. But in between the irritation and anger, there was something quiet and tender… A mix of admiration and… something else… perhaps it was—
Before he could finish writing, something had snatched his notebook from his hands. He tried to react as quickly as possible to beat the thief but he couldn’t; the perpetrator had already headed out the agency’s front door. Kunikida pursued them quickly, yelling out the occasional “Come back here!” or “Give that back!”. The thief climbed up the stairs to the roof, Kunikida still not too far behind. He wasn’t close enough, however, as the criminal had managed to open the door to the roof and lock it behind them before Kunikida could follow. It took everything Kunikida had not to immediately just break down the door. It’d be expensive to fix. He did bang on it though, hoping to at least scare some sense into the villain.
“You’re trapped up here, you know!” he yelled, “The only way off the roof is back through this door!” He banged on the door again to emphasise his point. “Come back right now and I might consider not breaking too many of your bones!”
“So scary, Kunikida-kun!” a familiar voice called from the other side of the door.
“D-Dazai?!”
Of course, it was Dazai, who else could it be. It’s not like someone would walk into the agency with the pure motivation of stealing Kunikida’s notebook when there were so many other things of far greater monetary value. Wait. Oh. It was Dazai. Dazai had taken it. When Dazai took it, he always intended to read it. It was one of his favourite activities, or so he said. And normally, Kunikida would be careful about what he wrote in there, knowing that Dazai would inevitably take it from him at some point. When he wrote about Dazai in his notebook, he always made sure to rip the pages out and store them elsewhere just in case. But Dazai had never stolen it while he was writing before, hence he had let his guard down — hence, he had made one of the biggest mistakes he ever could.
“Dazai this isn’t funny! Give it back right now!” he pounded on the door again.
“Don’t worry, don’t worry! I’ll give it back in a second. Just doing some light reading first.”
“Dazai! Don’t you dare!”
“Sorry, I can’t hear you, the door between us is muffling your voice.”
This wasn’t good. At all. Kunikida needed to think quickly before Dazai found out a little too much. He wished he was better at thinking on the spot. Like Dazai was. Dammit. Dazai would know what to do here… And even in his panic, Kunikida could only think about Dazai and nothing else. He wracked his brain trying to think of something to do. He couldn’t break down the door. He needed to just unlock it. Key. He needed a key. He didn’t have a key. But he could have one! He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a spare piece of paper from his notebook. He always kept a couple on him on the odd chance something happened and he was separated from it. Like he was right now. He also always carried a million pens on him in case they broke or were stolen too. The number of times he’d thought he was dying because he felt wetness staining his clothes but it turned out to just be pen ink was embarrassingly high. He used his ability to create a key that would hopefully fit the lock. It did. The click of the lock as it opened was the most satisfying sound he’d ever heard in his life. He burst through the door and looked around for Dazai. But he couldn’t see him.
“Dazai?! Where are you?!”
He hadn’t jumped or something, had he? He instinctively ran towards the edge of the building to check but before he reached it, he heard a low whistle. He turned around to the source of the noise and saw Dazai sitting on the roof above the door to the rooftop He sat there crosslegged, Kunikida’s notebook in hand. The notebook was open.
“How did you even get up there?!” Kunikida was so exasperated at this point.
“I have my ways,” Dazai grinned.
“Give my notebook back, Dazai! Please!”
“A ‘please’ from Kunikida-kun? I must have done something really bad for that…”
“You have! That’s an invasion of privacy!”
“Aw, but so many of the things in here concern me directly!”
“Yeah! Private things!”
Dazai rocked back and forth a little before throwing Kunikida’s notebook to him. Kunikida caught it and let out a relieved sigh. He looked down at the notebook and stopped himself from hugging it to his chest, lest Dazai make fun of him for his dependence on an inanimate object.
“H… how much did… How much did you read?” Kunikida mumbled, unsure if he actually wanted the answer.
“Uhhhhhh…. A bit…”
“How much is a bit?”
Kunikida felt his chest tightening. He wanted Dazai to answer honestly but he also wanted that answer to save him from the embarrassment of explaining anything.
“Oh, you know… I uh… I read like… All of it?” Dazai answered.
“All of it?!”
Dazai nodded, “I’m a fast reader…”
Kunikida wanted to faint. Or maybe fall off the rooftop. Or maybe push Dazai off the rooftop. He didn’t know. He just wanted this entire thing to stop.
“I interrupted you though, you didn’t finish writing before the end of that sentence,” Dazai said. Kunikida’s heart stopped, “What were you going to write there? Admiration and what, Kunikida-kun?”
Kunikida didn’t answer. He merely slumped to the ground and leaned his back against the wall, bringing he’s knees up to his chest and hugging them tightly. He couldn’t do this right now. He just couldn’t. He didn’t ever want to do this. He wouldn’t have ever done this if Dazai wasn’t so damn nosy and annoying.
He heard Dazai drop off the roof above and land beside him. He felt Dazai take a seat next to him and squeezed himself even tighter knowing how close Dazai must have been right now.
“Kunikida-kun?” Dazai said, softly, “You okay?”
“No!”
“I am sensing that you might be a little bit upset with me…”
“I hate you!”
“I see…”
“You know
exactly
how important my notebook is… You know exactly how much stuff goes in there… Why would you…”
“I was just joking around…”
“You know I hate it when you do that with serious stuff!”
“Okay, yeah, I do know that. I just thought it’d be funny…”
“It wasn’t! It never is!”
“I mean… sometimes it is—”
“No! It’s not!”
“Okay! I’m sorry!”
Kunikida froze for a second before lifting his head to look at Dazai in disbelief. He didn’t know Dazai’s mouth had the ability to form those words.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Are you actually sorry?” Kunikida asked him.
“Sure, I am.”
“You’re lying…”
“No! I’m not!”
“You’re always lying…” Kunikida sighed and let his head fall to his knees again.
“I’m not always lying! Ask me something! I’ll tell you the truth, I swear.”
“Why does the port mafia always make you weird?”
“Okay, ask me something else…”
Kunikida sighed, “Why do you hate me so much?”
“H-Hate you?! Kunikida-kun, where is that coming from? When have I ever indicated I dislike you at all?”
“You’re the one who tries making my life a living hell…”
“No! That’s not it at all. Everything I do, I do with love, Kunikida-kun! I find your anger adorable, and your obsession with schedules endearing! Not to mention, when I do get under your skin you dedicate every ounce of your attention to me. Your fury is the spice of life! Your attention is all I want from you. If that attention’s negative, so be it. I just want to be seen by you.”
Kunikida felt himself burning to a crisp. He was so glad he’d returned his head to his knees because if Dazai could see him right now he’d never live it down. He couldn’t believe what Dazai had said. He could barely believe it was the truth. But it had to be. Or, god, he hoped it was.
“Love…” Kunikida mumbled.
“Huh?”
“The end of the sentence… Admiration and love …”
“In your notebook?”
“Yeah…”
“Oh…”
It was too late to take anything back now. He didn’t know why he needed to say it but he did. It fell out of his mouth before he had the chance to stop it. And maybe it would ruin everything. And maybe this was the most humiliating thing he’d ever experienced. But he couldn’t stop himself. And now all he could do was wait for Dazai to process and comment on it all. Or they could just jump off the roof together. Kunikida was fine either way.
“Kunikida-kun?” Dazai said.
“Mm…”
“Could you look at me for a second?”
“No…”
“Please! It’ll be quick…”
Kunikida didn’t know why he always listened… why he always trusted… But he lifted his eyes to meet Dazai’s. And before he could register the pink tint of Dazai’s cheeks, Dazai leaned forward and gave Kunikida a little kiss. Kunikida looked at Dazai with a furrowed brow, trying to work out what had just happened.
“W… Huh?”
“Like I said, Kunikida-kun… Everything I do, I do with love…”