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Luke trudged over to the table where Wedge was beckoning from and sat down. Last night had been stressful and after being unable to sleep, he had resorted to mediating in the Force to bring himself mental clarity and energy. It had actually worked better than he had hoped, although no replacement for real sleep. Still, he noted as he placed his tray down next to the rest of Rogue Squadron and the table of starpilots, it was enough to get him through the day.
“Did you hear about the reports of Vader on Tenapis VI?” Luke’s mood sank. Maybe not.
His friends in Rogue Squadron, after four months of dealing with a sullen and on edge Luke, knew better than to bring up Vader without good reason. Rolwyn, a pilot in Yellow Squadron, evidently didn’t. To his left, Wedge glanced at him quickly, searching his face for signs of distress. He would find none. Luke had resolved not to let Vader or Bespin get to him, at least not on the surface. He may have been floundering in Jedi existential crises as of late, but he still had a job to do with the Rebellion.
“I heard he raided some seedy nightclub,” Rolwyn continued unaware.
“On, Tenapis? It was probably more like a prostitution ring,” someone said.
“Man, Vader gets no bitches,” Hobbie declared.
Luke choked on his drink.
He did not mention that he was living proof that Vader did indeed, get bitches, and instead opted for a scolding glare. Hobbie didn’t seem phased by this at all. In fact he flashed him a cheeky grin, clearly emboldened by his reaction.
“Hobbie, he wasn’t there for the girls. He went in there to kill some Crimson Dawn affiliated crime bosses,” Wedge chided.
“Who says it’s not both?” someone else asked.
Luke groaned. “As the person with the most experience with Vader, I say it's not. You guys are killing me.” Luke hoped that would be the end of it.
“Can Vader even have sex?” Rolwyn asked undeterred.
This could not be happening.
“I mean maybe? He’s kinda half droid isn’t he?” Hobbie answered.
“But which half?”
Luke put his head in his hands. His shaggy hair hid the rising flush of embarrassment on his cheeks. He desperately hoped his father couldn’t sense any of his thoughts or emotional turmoil right now through their shaky but present bond.
“Maybe it’s like robotic?” someone else chimed in.
Nope. This was not happening. He did not need to think about… that.
“It doesn’t matter which half, who would want to bang him?”
“I don’t know, he couldn’t have always been in that suit right?”
Luke froze. This was getting dangerously close to information he’d rather have hidden, as well as just plain uncomfortable.
“Oh no!” Hobbie cried. “What if he was hot before the suit? Maybe Vader really does have sex!”
“Guys, stop.” Luke ordered. “Can you not act like children? This is war. You shouldn’t be speculating on things like that,” His glare of disapproval swept over the group disapprovingly.
Rolwyn clamped her jaw shut under his gaze. Hobbie looked slightly less cowed but still apologetic.
“Sorry Luke,” Hobbie said softly. “I was just trying to lighten the mood for ya.”
Luke sighed. “Thanks but that’s really not necessary Hobbie, honestly.”
“Course,” Hobbie replied sincerely. “You’re our fearless Jedi Squadron Leader. You’re not made of glass that’s for sure and we don’t need to treat you like it. And I want you to know,” Hobbie smiled deviously, “that you can pull way more bitches than Vader.”
Luke smacked his hand onto his forehead. Of all the comparisons to his father, that one had to be the worst.
“Okay I’m leaving,” he turned away from Hobbies protestations of innocence and the rest of the table’s playful complaining. Of all the topics they could have picked– of all the ways a conversation about Vader could have gone— they had to pick—ugh! Luke tried to force intrusive images of Vader at a nightclub trying to seduce women out of his head. He failed. Nope, don’t think about it. He shoved that thought down as he marched through the halls.
A cold fire brushed his mind. He froze.
Luke? A voice echoed in his mind. I sensed your attention on me through our bond.
Luke stayed silent and tried not to think about anything. Maybe he would go away if he got no answer.
I know you are unfamiliar with Force bonds, my son, but I could feel your distress. Are you in danger?
No. The answer slipped out unintentionally.
Then why–
Luke slammed down his shields immediately. Sometimes parents were better off left in the dark, Luke decided.