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“That’s it, Ventus, just like that. Nice and slow.”
Roxas covered his ears with his pillow, glaring daggers at the wall. Seriously, it wasn’t even midnight, and he could hear the two going at it from the next door over. He just wanted to sleep, dammit.
“Vanitas!” Ventus cried out, and Roxas could hear a breathy pant against the wall, something brushing up against it.
Probably Vanitas pushing Ventus against the wall, kissing him. Ugh. Why the fuck did Ventus have to sound exactly like Roxas, and Vanitas have to sound exactly like Sora?
“You want it? Let me hear you beg for it,” Vanitas’ voice rasped out. And yeah, the pair were definitely up against the wall that Roxas shared.
Tomorrow, he was going to go to King Mickey and insist that he get a different guest room. If he had to, he’d throw Ventus and Vanitas under the bus too.
“Make me,” Ven’s voice was defiant, and Roxas groaned a little. It sounded too much like his own voice, the challenging tone. Roxas could hear something moving against the wall, and he wondered if Vanitas had Ventus pinned to the wall, Ven wriggling in his grasp.
Then there was a flurry of movement, against the wall, and what sounded like against the floor. He could hear muffled shouts and moans from both boys, and Roxas took the other pillow, shoving it on top of the first to try to cover the sound.
“I’m going to fucking ruin you,” Vanitas said finally, sounding out of breath.
“Think so? I think you’re forgetting who came out on top last,” Ven responded, and really? Ugh.
Roxas hated to be hearing their weird, gross foreplay.
There was another whirlwind of movement, of panting and moans, and finally Roxas heard Ven cry out, a strangled breath of Vanitas’ name.
Roxas grabbed one of his shoes and threw it at the wall, hoping they’d shut up.
To no avail, it seemed the boys didn’t notice, or didn’t care. Probably too caught up in the throes of passion. Gross.
“Vani! Vani, please—”
“Shhh, Ventus, you can take it, you’ve done it before.”
“No, Vani, it hurts—”
“It’s okay, be a good boy for me—”
He could hear the pathetic moans and whimpers from Ven, the praise from Vanitas, and Roxas let out an annoyed yell. Goddamn it. He just wanted to sleep.
He got up, marching out of his room and to the room next door, and practically kicked down Ventus’ door with a gust of wind from an Aeroga spell.
“It is the middle of the goddamn night and I am so tired of hearing the two of you fucking so just shut the fuck….up?”
Roxas blinked as he took in the scene. Ventus and Vanitas were both fully clothed, and in fact, wearing their sparring gear from training. While their Keyblades were nowhere in sight, the two of them had been wrestling on a training mat.
Ven had his arm twisted around his back, Vanitas having him locked in some kind of hold that looked painful. They were both sweating and red.
Having been distracted with Roxas, Ven twisted in his hold, finding some way to twist his legs around Vanitas’ torso and flip the boy over.
“Hey, Roxas!” Ven looked absolutely energetic as always, sinking a knee into Vanitas’ chest. “We woke you up? I’m so sorry! I thought we had soundproofed the room. Guess the spell wore off.”
“...what are you two doing?” Roxas asked, trying his best to close his jaw from where it had nearly dropped to the floor.
“We’re playing Uno,” Vanitas rolled his eyes. “The fuck does it look like? I’m training him.”
“You’re…training—” Roxas blinked. “We were just training today!”
“Yeah, with Sora and Riku,” Vanitas rolled his eyes. “Idiots who look more at each other than Ven. And none of them can teach our boy how to fight dirty.”
Roxas’ cheeks heated up at just how dirty he thought their…fighting was.
“Guess I’m kinda nervous,” Ven said sheepishly. “The exam is in less than two weeks, and I just wanna make sure I get it right and learn as much as I can. And well…Sora and Riku and Aqua and everyone are great teachers! But Vanitas is a good teacher too. Really, he’s just helping me blow off steam.”
“Oh my god, ” Roxas with a groan that spoke of sleep deprivation. “Whatever. I guess it’s better than what it sounded like you were doing.”
“What did it sound like?” Ven asked. “Oh, if you were worried Vanitas was hurting me, he wasn’t! I promise.”
“No, it sounded like you two were having really loud sex,” Roxas said, his filter gone from how tired he was.
Ven and Vanitas blinked, looked at each other and their close proximity, and nearly jumped five feet apart from each other.
“What—?!”
“Gross! Me and Ven! No fucking way—”
“We wouldn’t—!”
“Whatever,” Roxas scrubbed a hand over his face. He wondered if he could climb back into Sora’s heart. At least he got decent sleep there, sometimes. “I’m going back to bed. If you guys are fucking or fighting, at least do it quietly.”
He turned around, nearly slamming the door as he left, heading straight to his room. He all but collapsed on the bed. He glared at his gummiphone. This was all Axel’s fault for not coming here earlier, still on a mission with Kairi and Xion on another world. At least if Axel were here, Roxas could lament the ridiculousness of the people his heart was connected to.
At least Roxas had shut Vanitas and Ven up out of embarrassment.
“Fucking? You and me? No way.”
“Yeah. I know. It’s not like you even see me that way.”
“Exactly! The fuck was he—wait what do you mean? You saying you wanna fuck me?”
“...maybe? I mean, I’ve kinda—”
“Fuck, Ventus. I mean. Yeah, me too.”
Silence. Pure, blissful silence. Roxas started to close his eyes, drifting off, when—
“Ventus, oh fuck—!”
“You’re doing so good, Vani, just like that—”
The rhythmic thumping was unmistakable, and Roxas really, really wished that he hadn’t made things even worse. Especially when, an hour later, it sounded like round two or three was starting up.
—
Nearly two rounds in, when Roxas was seriously contemplating murder though happy or whatever for his friends, he heard something else.
“Oh no, I think we forgot to soundproof the room!”
”Oops.” Vanitas definitely did not sound sorry.
–
–
The next morning, somehow during training, the room that Vanitas and Ventus had been staying in had mysteriously been set ablaze, and the pair switched to another room in the castle. Roxas had sweetly mentioned that the room next to Sora’s was vacant.
Roxas slept very soundly that night.