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Cas never understood Dean Winchester. He was different from Sam and even smaller than his brother yet his soul was the kindest and he was much stronger than his brother. So when Dean asked him for help with buying groceries he didn’t think anything of it. Dean told him to grab some things as he went off so when he got done and went hunting for Dean; he didn’t expect him to be holding something close.
“It’s nothing,” he told Cas but Cas was confused by his other friend. He didn’t ask as they got back and Dean told him to put away the food as he took care of something. Cas asked Sam if he knew what was up with Dean, Sam didn’t know either. He was very confused as well. Dean acted like nothing was wrong but Cas noticed a few things wrong in the next few days. Dean’s eating habits changed and the older Winchester male seemed to be eating more sweets. He seemed more irritated as well. Cas tried to figure it out but he couldn’t. He decided to ask Jody but she didn’t know what was up. She did come by and ask the boys if they needed anything.
“I think we are good,” Dean said as he seemed tired. Jody seemed concerned as she pulled Dean aside to talk to him. Cas and Sam didn’t understand until Jody came back and decided it was time to have all the boys sit down and talk.
“Sam, how much do you know about your brother?” Jody asked.
“I believe I know a lot about him,” Sam said.
“Cas, how close are you to Dean?” Jody asked.
“Very much so,” Cas said.
“Then you both know that you need to let Dean come to you both with any situation instead of coming to me. Dean is having a rough week and you both can’t figure out how to help. Maybe he doesn’t need help. Dean will ask for help if he needs it,” Jody explained. Cas and Dean nodded as the two watched Dean stay there and not say anything before Jody looked at him.
“Call me if you need anything,” Jody told him. Dean nodded as he walked to his room and decided to avoid his brother and Cas.
~
Cas heard Dean calling out in pain and hurried to his room. Dean had something on his stomach as he cried out. He was laying on his back with his eyes closed. Cas moved closer but stopped. What should he do?
“Cas,” Dean whined and Cas was by his side asking what he could do as Dean just asked to be held. It was a weird request but Cas did as he was asked and he felt comfortable. It was nice to hold on to him and Dean seemed to relax in his arms.
“It’s normally not this bad,” Dean whined. “I rarely get them while being on T but I am this week. Why the emergency shopping trip. Dad thought it was helpful for keeping us out of the system with me not acting like my assigned birth gender but it just felt right. I always had leaned more to boy designated toys. I loved fixing cars and I never kept my hair long. I just binded until I could get surgery and then I pretended it was fine that I still had… anyways I have been on and off T for so long that I rarely get my period as much as I did before. I just sometimes couldn’t get T cause people were around or I didn’t want anyone knowing or I would forget”
“Your dad must have been supportive,” Cas said.
“Not really. He just liked how it benefited him. We never told Sammy because John was ashamed of me. Bobby knew cause I accidentally let him know and he was iffy at first but always supportive. Bobby always treated me like I was born a male instead of…”
“Angels don’t have genders,” Cas said. “Our host might but we don’t. I have used many pronouns over the years but I never understood gender until I met you. You always are strong and proud of your gender. You aren’t the stereotype either.”
“Thanks,” Dean said. “I wish it was as easy to come out to Sammy like it is to you.” Cas nodded as Dean laid there and closed his eyes. It was weird to see Dean so relaxed but it was nice for once.
~
Cas didn’t say anything to Sam as the other asked him if Dean told him what was wrong. Cas just acted as if Dean’s behavior was normal and that he was going to have to go for a pie run. Sam didn’t buy it but Cas was going for a pie run. Dean loved pie and needed something to cheer him up right now. The boy loved his pie better than anything else. Jack asked to go with him and he let him.
“Cas,” Jack said. Cas looked at the kid who was worried.
“Something wrong?”
“I was reading last night and like Claire has been helpful but I think I’m nonbinary,” Jack said.
“What does that mean?” Cas asked.
“It means I used they/them pronouns and I’m not a man or woman exactly,” Jack explained. “I just don’t fall into the binary genders.” Cas nodded as he thought about Dean. Dean would know what to say.
“I think you should let Dean know if you are comfortable. I feel he would understand better than me,” Cas said. “Angels don’t have genders. We normally use the pronouns of our host when we are in them.”
“So you are agender?” Jack asked. Cas looked at the kid waiting for more. “It means you don't identify with any gender.”
“Then I believe so,” Cas said. Jack smiled and thanked him for being supportive. Cas nodded as he smiled at the kid. Jack talked about some show they were watching as Cas thought about the family. Maybe Sam used different pronouns as well then those he was born with. He didn’t know but he was glad to have this small family.
~
Dean and Cas were having lunch with Jack as Sam was out with Jody on a hunt. Dean was talking with Cas when Jack cleared his throat.
“Dean,” Jack said.
“Yes,” Dean asked.
“I think I am nonbinary,” Jack said. Dean seemed to think about that and stopped himself from saying something and put on a smile.
“Thank you for letting me know. What nonbinary pronouns do you use?” Dean asked.
“They/them for now,” Jack said feeling relieved. Dean seemed a bit skeptical but he was still accepting and that was all that mattered as he got Jack a teddy with the nonbinary flag on it and began referring to them with their proper pronouns after the conversation. Sam seemed confused until Cas explained that he would have to talk to Jack about it. Dean even came out to Jack and Jack seemed surprised but also proud of their father figure. So Jack and Dean had each other but Sam still wasn’t in the loop.
“Jack, why does Cas use they and them instead of using he and him?” Sam asked him.
“I’m nonbinary,” Jack said proud. They had got support from both Dean and Cas and now they was brave to admit who they was.
“There is no such thing,” Sam said. Dean froze as did Jack. Cas seemed to not understand.
“Sam,” Dean said. Sam went to argue but Dean stood up.
“Jack is nonbinary and if you can’t accept that then how can you accept me being your brother?” Dean asked.
“Dean,” Sam said.
“No, I am trans but you never needed to know that because you always just saw me as your brother. You never heard Dad insult me for being born the wrong gender or complaining about how I bleed once a month because I have female genitals. You didn’t have to deal with fighting him about me getting top surgery,” Dean said. Sam seemed to go quiet as Dean led Jack out of the room. Cas followed knowing he had a kid and his best friend to help. Dean held on to a crying Jack who didn’t understand the hardships that being non-cis represented. They didn’t have the problems of people not hating them because they had a support system around them. Later after Jack was asleep, Cas comforted Dean as Dean laid in his arms.
“Don’t leave,” Dean said when Cas thought he was asleep. Cas didn’t as he continued holding Dean well into the night. Dean woke the next morning and told Cas how he had feelings for him.
“I knew I was bi but I never accepted myself until I came out to you. You don’t have to have feelings back,” Dean touched his arm and Cas pulled up his sleeve and touched his arm. The print engrained in Dean’s arm appeared again.
“This marks you as mine. I did it by accident but I know it pissed off Michael. We will always be connected to Dean Winchester and I think we will always be connected because we care for each other. Dean nodded as he held on to Cas with his life.
“I love you,” Dean said. He never said it before and it felt awkward on his lip but Cas smiled.
“I love you, too,” Cas said. Dean seemed to relax as they laid in each other’s arms and held onto one another.
~
Dean saw Sam the next morning drinking coffee and researching on his computer. He looked up at his older brother and seemed to think before he spoke.
“I knew Dad always treated you differently but I didn’t know it was because you were born…” Sam didn’t finish. “What was…” Dean stopped him.
“I am not telling you my dead name nor does it matter. My name is Dean and it always has been. I’m your older brother and that is all that matters,” Dean said.
“Cool. I will find time to apologize to Jack. It’s hard sometimes to remember how Dad reacted when we were kids. I never knew you had to deal with that,” Sam said.
“Bobby always made sure I got what I needed. He bought my first binder that was more comfortable and made hunting a bit easier,” Dean said.
“It was how you knew Ben wasn’t yours right away,” Sam said.
“Can’t have kids with a woman,” Dean said.
“Luckily you only have Jack that you co-raise with Cas,” Sam said.
“Cas is also my partner,” Dean informed Sam. Sam took a moment and nodded. He seemed to not say anything else until Jack came down and he apologized to the kid.
“If it makes you better I had trouble with it at first but I remembered that gender identity is just what someone else chooses,” Dean explained. Sam seemed to nod as he asked Jack some questions and tried to be more open to the kid. Cas held Dean’s hand as Dean felt more comfortable in his skin for once in his life.